DISCLAIMER: Not JKR.

Whoa. A few people are reading what I'm writing. I bet that a lot of the people who started to read this stopped because the first chapter was confusing. Sorry about that...

One of my friends is so lucky! She went to this bar and got two see two bands: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and this other band whose name I can't remember because holy hell - ITS THE FREAKING RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS! She got them to sign her tickets and the other band signed her shoe. She even hugged RONNIE! According to her he smelled REALLY GOOD. I'm so jealous! They didn't play Cat and Mouse, though (which I am currently listening to). I wonder if they played Your Guardian Angel. That would rip my heart out.

Just so you know... Eloise Midgen and the Yule Ball is essentially about Eloise Midgen and the Yule Ball. I know you're probably thinking that this might just be a story about Eloise Midgen, but it is actually going somewhere and yes, I have written the ending already. Things WILL happen and you WILL be surprised (even you, scholarlydimwit). I hope you haven't forgotten about Fleur and Julien's "Plan" or the time when Julien was talking to that Ravenclaw and Eloise heard her name.

Those are all parts of the bigger story (parts which I haven't even told you, scholarlydimwit). And don't you dare milk S for info because she only knows one secret... But I might just tell her the whole plan... And yes, S, I am being cruel to you on purpose. (Cackle. Cackle.)

I know that I said that I probably wouldn't write for a while. But I couldn't NOT write. The very day I posted chapter 9 I started to write 10 and 11. And finished 10 and 11. And I just remembered - I have two essays due on Tuesday on top of the English project and French exam that very day! And the French packet is due on Monday. And the book I have to read. AHH! This story may just be the end of my good grades.

(I just wanted to post all author notes BEFORE I had the chapter because at the end you just want to savor it, not read a bunch of notes from the author. Oh, and by the way, you could have skipped all of this bolded stuff. Hehe.)

-R

Chapter 10 (DOUBLE DIGITS!)

"Well, I'm pretty sure it was a gray bag in his trunk." I grabbed Ernie's weathered trunk and dragged it to the center of the room, opening it.

"Yeah, just ignore me..." I heard Julien mutter.

"MERLIN'S FREAKING WOBBLY KNEECAPS!" I gasped.

"What?" Julien said, turning back to me.

I cleared my throat.

"WHAT?" he said again. I bit my lip to keep from bursting.

I dangled a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs from my index finger right in front of his face. And burst out laughing.

"What the hell is that for?"

"Merlin, you're so FRENCH!" My throat was tightening, it was painful to laugh. "I CAN'T BELIEVE Ernie HAS these!"

Now I was imagining a very nude Ernie handcuffed to a very gorgeous Veela. Ew. Bad visual.

"What IS it?" he asked, almost angrily.

"Be glad you don't know," I said, trying to keep myself from grinning. Oh, dear old Ernie. Where did you go so wrong?

"NO, seriously. WHAT IS IT?"

"It's a... toy." My voice was muffled. I had my knuckles clenched between my teeth to keep from laughing.

Julien looked right at it, disgust making him scowl.

He glanced at me. "Why are you laughing?"

Ow. My knuckles hurt.

I giggled some more from the pain of it all. Hilarity at it's best. "Can you imagine ERNIE with these things?" I choked out.

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Hmm, do you think he'll notice if it goes missing?" I raised an eyebrow at him, grinning.

"What?" he coughed. "You - you're not planning... to USE it are you?" He looked incredulous.

"Hell no!" I cried. Hmm. Actually... "Well, it depends in what way you're talking about when you say 'use.'"

XvX

Julien really was a great wizard, even if he hadn't noticed it himself. I smiled to myself as I slid onto a seat at the Hufflepuff table.

"Eloise," Hannah had a sly smile on her face. "Why are you grinning like that?"

"You'll see..." I couldn't help giggling a little.

It was suppertime and Dumbledore gave a short speech before the golden plates filled with towering mounds of food. Mmm. I piled my plate with everything in my reach and began to eat.

"There's something you aren't telling me," cried Hannah Abbott in a sing-song voice. "Are you going to the Yule Ball with anyone in particular..." She suggestively trailed off.

Ernie spit out a mouthful of what may have been corned beef. Or maybe it was chicken.

"YOU'RE going to the BALL with someone?"

Could he BE anymore of a LOSER? Merlin. Now someone who owned furry handcuffs was INCREDULOUS toward me? And why did they have to bring up the stupid BALL?

"SEVERUS! GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM THERE!" McGonagall cried murderously.

Wha-?

"OOOHH!" cried the Gryffindors and Slytherins in unison.

I almost cackled in delight. Phase two of our plan was nearly in order...

Snape had reached across Mickey's chest to grab the pudding. She batted at his arms in flurried, futile motions. Then she finally grabbed his arm, pulling it away from herself.

CLICK!

A puff of pink smoke clouded the whole Great Hall. There were a few startled gasps and pandemonium broke out as a few people shrieked and babbled.

When that awfully vibrant smoke cleared all of us were greeted by a disturbing sight.

McGonagall. And. Snape.

Snape's wimpy chest was bare. Under the table I could see a pair of graying knickers. McGonagall was wearing a beige bra-and-panty set. All of their clothes had (mysteriously) disappeared. What an enigma!

Oh, and I saved the best for last.

A pair of fluffy pink handcuffs encircled each of their wrists tightly, forming a bond between them that could never be broken.