Disclaimer: You know what? I'm not going to say it. No, you can't make me.......wait! Don't take away the cookies! No!....fine. -sigh- I don't own anything Twilight related.

Edward's POV:

"I know that this isn't really," I began, gasping out the words as I gently detached myself from Bella's sweet lips, "what you want to do right now, but I think we have to decide what we're going to do about this."

I opened my eyes to meet Bella's warm chocolate ones. They weren't closed off. They were open, vulnerable, and trustful. She trusted me. The thought made my heart soar.

"What do you mean?" She asked. I closed my eyes and sighed. I really didn't want to explain exactly what I meant. I already felt like a jerk, but like Aro said, something had to be done.

This wasn't for the sake of the band. It was for Bella. If nothing was done to confirm or deny the rumors, then the paparazzi would hound her until they were satisfied.

"Uhm, what do you want to do about....the stories?" I finally said. I couldn't dare to look at her face, but I heard her sharp intake of breath and then her shaky exhale.

"Do I...I mean...what can I...uh?" She couldn't say anything. I looked up and saw the words she couldn't form in her eyes.

"If we leave this open to interpretation, the tabloids will hound you until they can get in on the story. If you release a statement, then we can avoid any trouble." I explained.

I felt horrible for having to give her the choice. Either way, she would have to face people that she didn't know. People that she couldn't trust. People that could hurt her.

I saw the fear in her eyes. I finally saw that unbelievable terror that came with her past. I couldn't even begin to imagine how difficult life would be if your was constantly on the edge. Constantly looking over your shoulder, never being able to relax from the tension of paranoia. It was a life I know I wouldn't be able to take, yet Bella was still able to continue through life putting smiles on everyone else's faces even though she would never smile for herself.

"I can't." A strangled sob came with her whispered voice. "I won't be be able to handle it. You have no idea how much I want to, but I can't."

As she tried to explain what she was trying to say, I saw how the tables were turning. She was trying to put the blame on herself, though there was no blame at all. She was making it seem as if she had done something wrong. Her voice took on a panicked pitch and she began to talk faster in desperation. It was the fear again.

"Bella, shhh. Bella, it's okay." Even though I desperately wanted to quickly sweep her in my arms, I knew I had to go slow.

Slowly, I took a step forward so she could see me move towards her in her panicked frenzy. Then I let my hand hover closely to her until I lightly touched her. I knew she could feel the electricity. There was no doubt; I could see it in the way her shoulders began to slump and her voice calmed a tiny bit. It was hardly a noticeable change, but it was there. Her hands turned and my palm met hers. Then, her hand tightened automatically and I let my arms enclose her.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, and you don't you dare try and turn this on yourself. You did nothing wrong. If anything, I should apologize to you. Your life shouldn't have been put on display like that."

"But-" She tried to protest, but I wouldn't have it. I cut her off with a quick kiss and I felt not only her tension leave, but also mine. She had no idea of the power she had over me. I'd never felt like this before. It was as if I only existed to meet her.

"Let's go back inside." I whispered. I put my hand on the small of her back and led her back inside.

As soon as we walked in, Alice came running, gently pulling Bella away from me.

"Are you alright?" She asked anxiously. "Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry. What kind of jerks would write about your life like that? It's okay, Bella. I'll hunt them down and go all kinds of ninja on them."

I was very surprised that she hasn't even taken a breath during her whole monologue. Although she was being completely serious, I saw how Bella's eyes danced with amusement.

"I'm fine, Alice. I wouldn't want you to end up in jail, anyway." She told her. I marveled at the way she was trying to make her best friend laugh when she seemed to be the one who needed cheering up.

Alice smiled slightly, then hesitantly gave Bella a hug. Bella's eyes flashed for a second before she braced herself. Even hugging Alice must be strange on her account.

I tore my eyes away from Alice and Bella for a second, and met the watery eyes of Angela.

"Is she okay?" She mouthed to me. Before I could answer, Bella spoke.

"Angela, I'm fine. Of course, I'm shaken up, but I'm not going to have another panic attack. I'm sorry if I scared or shocked you earlier." Bella answered. Before I could reprimand Bella for trying to put some kind of blame on herself again, Angela spoke.

"Don't be." Angela answered firmly. "None of this is your fault. You never deserved to be a subject of cruel fate like that, nor is it your fault that some jerk wrote about it for an easy buck. You never deserved any of this."

Although Angela's voice held no hostility towards me, her words still cut through me. She was right. Bella deserved none of this. I was at fault for her life being put on display like that. I winced and looked over at Bella. I was being selfish. I knew Bella deserved better than me, but I couldn't even begin to think about leaving her. I couldn't imagine any kind of life without her.

"Uhm, Edward?" Jasper asker from behind me, his voice raspy with awkwardness.

"Should we go?" He asked. Emmett and him both shuffled their feet and shifted awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do.

"Let's play." I immediately suggested. Bella always relaxed around music. She lost herself in it.

I threw a quick glance behind me and saw Alice looking into Jasper's eyes, giving him a firm nod. Bella's eyes met mine and I marveled at the beautiful look in them. It was as if she knew exactly why I suggested playing and was grateful for it. Jasper, Emmett, and I made our way into the studio, and set up our instruments.

"Do you guys want to play Song In My Head?" Emmett asked.

"Sure." Jasper and I replied.

I counted off and then began to sing and play the piano. Soon Jasper joined me on the guitar, followed by Emmett with a steady beat on the drums. I soon began to lose myself in the sound of the music. My stress melted away and I looked up and met Bella's eyes. I only focused on her and I could feel the connection sparking between us. Her eyes revealed everything to me, and I've already bared my heart and soul to her more than I've done with anyone before.

Music has been my only escape from my own monsters throughout the years. It's been the only thing that understood and the only thing that I've ever been able to be truthful with.

Don't blink, don' close your eyes,

but most of all don't apologize.

It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now.

Suddenly as I began to listen to the own lyrics I had wrote, a realization and hurt ripped through me that clutched and contracted my chest. Bella believed that she was the only one with past problems in this relationship, and I had been lying to her all along by not telling her that I was also broken. I was worse than broken, I was mutilated by my ghosts in the closet. My past horrors were myself. I was a monster.

There's a patch of blue in the stormy sky,

a memory of a brighter time

when everything was new and less watered down

before the summer turned to brown.

I didn't deserve to feel the warmth Bella gave me, or to receive her rare affections. I wasn't the right person to be around to protect her or to be her shoulder to cry on, or to just be the one person she could fully trust. I was so close to being in love with her, I was sure.

She looked at the world and saw the horrors in it that people everyday ignored so that they could keep themselves blissfully ignorant and oblivious. She saw the shadows of everybody's sins and secrets, and yet she could still find a way to live, laugh, and love. Even though she couldn't see herself clearly enough to make herself realize that she had every reason to be happy, she was still able to use every fiver of her being to make those around her happy. Isabella Marie Swan was beautiful, selfless, brave, honest, brilliant, witty, and so incredibly genuine. It was impossible not to love her.

So I did love her. I could admit that, but now that her ghosts seemed to be healing, it seemed as if mine were coming out with a fiery vengeance. I loved her, but I was too much of a monster to deserve to love her.

Bella's POV:

I felt true happiness flow through my veins and set every nerve on fire. I still had problems to deal with, but with Edward next to me, I felt like I could take on the whole world. He's been with me before I even met him. I fell in love with his music and it was the only time I was ever able to be completely vulnerable and open and yet, I could always feel completely comfortable. Now, I was lucky enough to meet Edward, and be the recipient of his devotion. He was too good to be true.

The sound of the door opening snapped me back to reality. I turned and immediately smiled when I saw Edward run a hand through his messy bronze hair. He raised his eyes and locked me in his gaze. He closed his eyes, took a breath and then suddenly I was being pulled into his arms.

"Fuck it." I heard him mummer. Warmth seeped from my chest throughout my entire body and I reveled in that feeling of protection and safety his arms gave me. His nose was pressed against my hair and neck, and I felt goosebumps rise where his breath touched.

"Get a room!" I heard Emmett tease. Edward's body shook with a chuckle and I couldn't help but laugh as well.

"Guys, I think we should all go. We didn't have a real reason to meet here anyway." Ben suggested. Angela nodded in agreement.

We all got ready to leave, but as I began to walk out the door, Edward grabbed the sleeve to my jacket.

"Do you think it'd be okay if I came back to the school with you? Alice will be heading over to our place and I'd like to be alone to talk with you about something." Edward asked. His voice held a different tone than earlier so I didn't think we would be talking about my whole personal life on display thing.

"Sure." I answered.

We said our goodbyes to everyone before Edward and I drove to the college dorms.

"I'm kind of excited to see your room." Edward teased. I laughed and parked my truck.

"I'm glad I cleaned it yesterday. Alice doesn't seem to have a problem living in a dirty room but I do." We both laughed and I looked around to see if anyone was around.

I didn't want to risk Edward getting noticed. Thankfully, no one was out.

"Here we are." I said as I opened the door.

I watched Edward's face as he looked around our dorm. It was a mix of wonder and amusement.

"I'm guessing the side with all of the pink and lace is not yours, right?" He asked, a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes and threw myself on top of my bed, which was dark blue cotton, the exact opposite of pink lace. I looked up at Edward through the tendrils of hair that had flown over my eyes. He looked down at me, and smiled. I patted the space next to me, and he got a mischievous glint in his eyes.

He suddenly leaned down, his arms on either side of me, before pushing himself over me and onto the other side of the bed, dragging me with him. I ended up snuggled up against his chest. I squealed at the quickness at which he had moved, and then laughed when he sighed deeply and nuzzled his face in my neck.

"This feels nice." He murmured. I could only mewl in agreement.

We stayed in that position for a full ten minutes before he suddenly tensed, and breathed deeply.

"So there was something I wanted to talk to you about." He started hesitantly. I felt myself getting anxious at the tone in his voice.

"Yeah?" He ran one hand through his hair, then sat up, bringing me up with him so that I was right next to him.

"So...earlier, when the guys and I were playing, I started thinking." He began. His face looked pained. "I mean, we wrote that song when we were in high school, and the lyrics really came from Jasper's point of view, but today....I just suddenly felt something, and I think I really need to tell you."

I stared at him warily, and I noticed that today, he was the one who looked undeniably vulnerable. His eyes were haunted.

"Bella, I care about you. A lot. I can't even bring myself to say how much I do. I just...I feel like I won't be able to look you straight in the eyes, until you know this."

Whatever he was trying to say was starting to scare me. He really did seem as if he couldn't look into my eyes. He looked everywhere but me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Bella, when I was seventeen years old, my parents died in a head-on collision." He said quickly. I saw his face wince and he cringed as if the words were stabbing him.

I knew his parents were gone, but the way he said it, made me think there was more to the story. I didn't know how to respond.

Edward breathed deeply, and finally looked at me. I gasped. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, the rims were bright red. His face was contorted in heartbreak.

"I'm sorry, Edward." I whispered. I wish I could do something to make those tears go away. It hurt me to see him like this. He was always so light and happy. It was wrong to see him sad.

"Bella, you don't understand." His voice broke.

He looked so scared at what he was going to say next. His body was tense, like he was bracing himself for some intense reaction. I felt my breathing speed up as I took in his entire body. He really did look terrified. His hands were clutching the bed sheets, the skin over his knuckles taught and white. The line of muscle in his forearm was prominent and stretched so tight, that it was easy to tell that it was physically hurting.

I couldn't speak, but his tortured eyes read the confusion in mine. He took a deep, shaky breath. His eyes bore into mine.

"It was my fault. I caused their death."

The room started spinning. I couldn't breathe. What did he mean? Edward wasn't like that. He was a good person. He couldn't.....kill.

I kept trying to think of something, anything, to say, but I couldn't. Strangled sounds of confusion fluttered from my lips.

I felt horrible, but I could feel an involuntary response of fear. I was scared of Edward.

He noticed me cringe, and his eyes watched my movement, as if he knew it was coming.

"What are you...." I couldn't finish. I wanted to know what he was talking about. I refused to believe that Edward could be a bad guy. He wasn't. But what if he was. I trusted him with my life. Could it be possible that that is the biggest mistake I've ever had?

"I was seventeen years old....." He started.

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I know it's been so long! I'm sorry. Usually, I use whatever spare time I have to write, but for the past two months, I've been having to use extra time to finish reading assignments for school. Sorry! I'm also really sorry for the cliff hanger, but think about it, do you really think I would make Edward a bad guy?

Anyways, the song in this chapter is Song In My Head by: Sherwood. I'll try to get the next chapter updated a little bit sooner, but who knows. Chapters may be shorter so that I can get them up sooner than it would take if I were to write a twelve page chapter.