I laid comfortably on the warm, plush bed I woke up in. I saw Sirius who was still sleeping soundly with his arms wrapped possessively around me and sighed quietly. I wanted to leave, but I didn't know how to get up without waking him so I waited a while longer until finally he stirred slightly. I watched as his eyes fluttered and his grip tightened. He squinted his eyes open and looked at me before closing them again and smiling. I bit my lip and tapped him lightly on his chest which caused him to open his eyes wider, still sleep filled.

"Morning lovely." He whispered to me and kissed my nose lightly.

"Good morning Sirius." I replied.

"Why don't we just stay here all day?" He grinned as he looked into my eyes. I could have gladly stayed in this position all day since my body ached horribly. My stomach and head hurt from the alcohol and I had lost my potion sometime last night while the inside of my legs ached at even the slightest movement. I tried to turn onto my back but the pain was so bad that I groaned and tensed my body.

"Are you sore?" He cooed as he lifted his head onto his hand and played with my hair.

"Very. Have you seen a vial with a bluish liquid in it by any chance?"

"No I haven't, why?" He asked, still rubbing my hair.

"It was supposed to cure my hangover." I groaned as I shut my eyes tightly.

"I'm sure it's somewhere on the ground." He smirked as he looked at the closed curtains that surrounded his bed. I was extremely relieved that he had closed them, not wanting the other marauders to see me laying naked in Sirius' bed.

"So, maybe I should get going. Lily's going to wonder where I am." I said awkwardly, looking down at his exposed chest to avoid his gaze.

"You don't need to leave Ana." He said, running his fingertips along my bare shoulder. "I would love it if you stayed for a while."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." I began, looking up at him now. His face changed in curiosity at my words.

"We shouldn't have done what we did last night Sirius." I answered and he sighed, his gaze softening.

"It was nice, don't regret it." He said.

"I just didn't expect it to happen like that... I feel sort of... stupid." I mumbled embarrassedly.

"What do you mean, love?"

"I just, I don't know. Maybe I led you on or something? I mean, I'm not really interested in you that way you know? We're friends." I stumbled over my words as I kept my eyes away from his.

"Ana," He sighed before I continued.

"I know you do this with a lot of girls. Charlene is not going to be happy about this. Where was she last night anyways?" I asked, changing the subject to a more distant topic.

"Stop." He said, sounding tired.

"No really, she's your girlfriend isn't she? We've been friends for so long and I didn't want to ruin things by sleeping together."

"I didn't mean for it to happen this way, believe me." He reassured.

"Am I going to be added to your list of conquests Sirius?" I asked, looking up into his eyes, searching for the truth.

"Of course not Ana."

"Then what is this? I mean we've never even kissed each other before last night. We don't think of each other romantically at all. I know you do this with every girl, you sleep with them then just disregard them. I don't want our friendship to be ruined over this so maybe you could just forget this happened?" I questioned hopefully.

"I don't want to forget this happened." He said and now it was my turn to be confused.

I looked at him intently, waiting for an answer and he sighed before continuing.

"You know that day after Hogsmeade? When we were sitting by the lake and I told you I was waiting for a chance with the one girl I actually wanted to be with?" He paused, looking at me nervously.

Oh no.

"Well, I guess you found out sooner than we both expected." He finished, biting his lip and averting his eyes.

All I could do was stare blankly. No words were forming at his confession.

"What?" I was finally able to breath.

"Yeah I mean, I've kinda liked you for a while Ana but like you said we were just friends and I didn't want to ruin anything by acting on it." He elaborated.

"Sirius." I sighed, knowing full well our friendship was never going to be the same.

"Do you... do you feel the same?" He asked in a pleading tone.

"I don't know." I confessed.

Sirius looked downright defeated. I tried to raise my hand and run it along his disappointed face but he grabbed my wrist, preventing my touch.

"I guess I should go." I said and looked at him, waiting for response. When I got none I braced myself for movement and sat up in bed, covering myself with the blanket. I looked on the ground around his bed and saw all of my articles of clothing littering the floor.

"Could you-" I began before he sat up as well.

"Yeah." He said simply as he bent over and picked up my clothes.

I fastened my bra and slipped my dress over my head, not worrying about my panties and flattened my hair slightly.

"Here's your potion." Sirius said, sounding much more harsh than he had moments ago. I took the vial and thanked him before swinging my legs over and sliding the curtains aside as quietly as I could. When I stood for the first time I felt the pain between my legs shoot up into my stomach and it took all my self control not to cry out in pain. I bit the inside of my cheek so hard that tears trickled down my face as I took a step towards the door.

"Hey Ana." Sirius voice sounded. I turned my head around to look at him as he laid on his back, resting his head on both his hands.

"Mhmm?" I muttered, holding in whimpers.

"Don't tell Charlene about this." He said and closed his eyes.

I couldn't believe the words that just left his mouth. Did he actually want to keep seeing her after all he's told me? After all he's done? I breathed shakily as I slowly crept through the room, each step hurting more than the last. I was almost at the door when I stepped down wrong and my ankle bent awkwardly. I stuck my hands out to brace my fall and they pushed down hard on James' arm.

"Bloody hell- oh, Ana? What are you doing here?" He said looking up at me, concern etched on his face as he noticed my pained expression and the tears that soaked my blushing cheeks.

"Sorry for waking you, I was just leaving." I mumbled as I continued for the door. I heard him ask if I was alright before I was out but decided to ignore it and continue through. I walked across the platform and into the girls dorm where only Lily and Susan, a girl who shared the dorm with Lily and I were sleeping. It was no surprise that none of the other girls were here, they never made it back to the dorm when there was a party that involved drinking and boys.

Merlin, I'm one of them.

I passed through the room and stumbled into the bathroom and shut the door quietly behind me. I turned on the tap to the decent sized bath tub and sat on the edge while I unstoppered the vial and downed the substance in one gulp. As I sat and waited for the tub to fill I could feel the potion slowly take effect as my headache subsided and the nauseated feeling disappeared completely. The only real pain remaining was that of my lower stomach and groin which I hoped a warm bath would ease.

I lifted my dress over my head and threw it, along with my bra and panties to the floor and slid into the warm water. Its heat soothed my tensed body as I soaked in the bubbled water and closed my eyes to relax further. I sighed as images of last night flooded my mind and I couldn't help but shake my head. I had acted so stupid last night, it was like I was a whole different person. I would never had just slept with someone like that, no matter who it was. What the bloody hell was wrong with me. I probably had ruined my relationship with Sirius because of it, and what was he thinking telling me he felt something more for me.

He was probably just saying that because he felt bad about taking my virginity when he knew how much it meant to me, although it was partly my fault. I had coaxed him into shagging me last night, he would have never suggested it if I hadn't, I knew that much for sure. I needed to think of a way to talk to him, understand what he meant by saying he had feelings for me. I knew it wasn't true so perhaps by talking we can work some way out to forget this whole thing happened and go back to normal. After all, he obviously still wanted Charlene in his life or he wouldn't have asked I keep it a secret.

I cringed at the thought of her. Didn't she realize he was the farthest thing from faithful to her? Was she really that naive to think that she was something special to him? I knew differently since I was the second girl to my knowledge he had slept with in the past month and he had on and off dated her since the end of the last school year. Not to mention all the rumors other girls spread about him being with them. Maybe she just turned a blind eye to the things he did. She was crazy in fact, it was common knowledge. I wouldn't put it past her to say she was alright with his infidelity as long as she could say she was Sirius Black's girlfriend.

Maybe I did feel something for Sirius. This probably wouldn't be effecting me so much if I didn't, and I remember last night before falling to sleep how comfortable I was and how nice it felt to be in his arms. We just took things too far too soon, I wouldn't mind actually dating him and taking things slow.

That could never happen.

I reminded myself that Sirius was far from someone who would ever take things slow. Every girl he has ever dated he shagged within a weeks time and I was definitely not that type of girl, or I never used to be.

Realization suddenly hit me.

I hadn't been on a single date with Sirius, yet we still slept together. I was now one of those girls that jumped into bed with him drunkenly and let him do whatever he wanted. I almost started crying as I thought about it more. I was always a bit more promiscuous with guys, most people knew that, but I had never gone all the way with any of them. My virginity was important to me, and last night I just threw it away like it meant nothing and I was sure that Sirius could care less.

I soaked in the tub an hour longer, thinking further of the consequences last nights actions caused and when I stood out of the water I was somewhat pleased to notice the pain between my legs had subsided fully. I wrapped a large towel around myself and slowly made my way to my closet, trying not to wake Lily who would most definitely bombard me with questions. I pulled on some loose clothes and tiptoed to my bed when I heard Lily stir. I froze where I stood and hoped that she wouldn't wake up but I realized quickly that this day was not going my way whatsoever.

Lily turned to look at me, her eyes partly shut, shielding them from the bright rays that flooded the room.

"Where were you?" She asked, sleepily.

"I-I slept in the boys' dorm last night." I answered, knowing James would mention it anyways.

"Why?" She asked, slowly and suspiciously.

"Sirius and I were just talking and I guess I fell asleep." I lied.

"I see. Well I guess I should get up. Do you want to go get some breakfast then head to the library? We have that Charms assignment that's due tomorrow." She said, sounding fully awake now.

"Yeah sure, I'll wait while you get dressed." I said and sat down on the edge of my bed.

We ate breakfast in relative silence on that gloomy Sunday morning. The great hall had been much quieter than usual since most of the students were not awake yet, even though it had been past ten in the morning. I was grateful that the marauders hadn't joined us for breakfast and when we were done we brought our books to the library and sat down, immediately getting to work. Once we finished, we headed back to the great hall for a light lunch then roamed the castle and its grounds while talking about the party.

Lily told me all about how her and James spent the whole night together, dancing and talking. She blushed when she told me they had a steamy make out session before going to bed and I was excited for her when she confirmed they were now officially in a relationship. We walked to the quidditch pitch, since James had invited her to watch the Gryffindor's first practice. I reluctantly joined her because she didn't want to go alone so I attempted to keep my thoughts away from Sirius.

We sat and waited in the stands for the team to emerge from the dressing rooms and when the finally did we looked down at the ground at the new team, dressed in crimson and gold robes that swayed in the fall breeze. I noticed Sirius straight away and couldn't help but smile at his appearance. His hair was a mess like he had just rolled out of bed and he slumped lazily against the top of his broomstick while yawning largely. I watched as they took flight as a team and hovered in the middle of the pitch while James gave off instructions. I kept my eyes on Sirius as he was looking around absentmindedly and when his eyes found mine I waved at him slightly. He ignored my gesture and turned back to listening to James with a frown on his tired face.

"What was that about?" Lily asked, obviously noticing Sirius brushing me off.

"Dunno." I shrugged and changed the subject. "James must really enjoy being selected for captain this year."

"Yeah he's really excited about it. Says they have a strong team this year." She said smiling as she watched James.

I listened as she commented throughout the practice while I said mute, still upset over Sirius' actions. I didn't understand why he was ignoring me like this, I felt it was worse for me.

When the practice was over my heart tightened in my chest as Lily left to walk with James and I was stuck walking awkwardly behind them and in front of Sirius. I inhaled deeply, and mustered up the courage to talk to him.

"You were really good." I said, slowing my pace slightly to walk with him.

"Thanks." Was all he said. He held his head high and dragged his broom behind him while looking straight forward the entire time.

"Can you talk to me, about what happened?" I asked quietly.

"What's there to talk about?"

"Last night, this morning." I suggested and he smirked.

"There's nothing to say Ana, I told you how I felt and you told me how you felt. Let's just drop it." He said harshly.

"I don't know why you're being so brassy with me." I said, slightly annoyed.

"I just think differently about you now, that's all." He said nonchalantly.

"Differently how?" I asked slowly.

"That maybe you weren't as innocent as you said you were." He shrugged.

"What?" I practically hissed.

"I'm just saying, you end up drunk and shagging me then acting like it meant nothing while you always said how important it was that you give it to the right person. If I wasn't the right person then why'd you waste it on me." He answered.

"I don't know Sirius." I said, defeated and looking down at my feet as I walked.

"It's fine Ana, I get it. At least I can say I was the first one to finally go all the way with the pietist Ana Travers." He smirked egotistically.

"Sirius, please don't." I pleaded.

"Why not? It obviously didn't mean that much to you if you were willing to give it away after a drunk party." He shrugged and I could feel tears threatening to fall.

We were almost back at the castle so I hurried through the doors and took a seat between Lily and Peter and across from Remus once we reached the great hall. I piled various food items onto my plate but after looking at them for a moment time I realized I wasn't in the mood for food.

"What's the matter Ana?" Remus asked, noticing I hadn't eaten anything.

"I'm just not feeling well." I said, looking down at my full plate.

"Are you still sick from this morning?" James asked before sticking a carrot into his mouth.

"What do you mean?" I asked quickly and everyone turned their attention to me.

"I just mean it didn't look like you were feeling very well this morning when you were leaving the dorm." James answered. "What were you in there for anyway?"

"Oh, yeah. Sirius and I were just talking late last night and I feel asleep, sorry about that." I said, blushing at my lie and hoping Sirius would go along with it.

"You don't have to apologize Ana, you're welcome in our dorm any time." Peter said and I looked to Sirius who had snorted loudly.

"Why aren't you telling them the truth Ana? They are your friends, don't they deserve to know?" Sirius said, tilting his head to the side.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, looking between Sirius and I.

"I don't-" I began but Sirius cut me off.

"Sure you do, if you don't want to tell them I guess I could if you wanted." He shrugged and took a bite of his pork chop.

I stared at him in shock, praying he wouldn't say anything.

"Ana and I left the party early and went up to the dorm for a nice shag." Sirius laughed slightly as he continued to eat. "Didn't you wonder why the curtains were closed?"

Why is he doing this?

"What?" Lily whispered.

"That's not funny man." James replied.

"I'm not trying to be funny, it's true. Isn't it Ana?" He said, raising his eyebrows at me.

I looked down at my lap and nodded in humiliation.

"He's not serious is he Ana?" Lily asked as she touched my arm.

"I am Sirius. Jeez Potter, I thought you were into her because she's smart." Sirius said arrogantly.

"Shut up man." James shot and looked at me in concern.

"I guess I had it coming, her wanting to deny it that is. She's kind of a whore." Sirius added.

"Stop being a jerk Sirius." Remus warned.

I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to get out of here and away from him. I stood abruptly and stormed out of the great hall, not looking back as I heard Sirius' laughter ringing in my ears as I walked. I walked up the stairs to the seventh floor and was about to round the corner to where the Gryffindor common room was when I was pulled back and pushed front first into the hard wall.

"Don't make a sound, love."