A/N: I won't write anything before the chapter this time. Just enjoy. And remember, that the fic is rated M.

Chapter 10. Behind the Mask

He seemed frozen to the spot and utterly shocked. He didn't even respond to her kiss. Blood was pumping heavily in her ears and her heart was beating as if it was going to burst. What was she doing? Panic flew through her mind, and she decided to stop the kiss before it became something important. She then felt his lips shudder and he kissed her back.

It wasn't a gentle kiss at all. It was passionate, almost desperate and she twined her arms around his neck, searching for support. He deepened the kiss, pinning her up against the wall and Rey softly moaned into his mouth. She was a novice in terms of what usually happened between men and women - Jakku was not a suitable place to find a lover. So, she just let him lead whatever was going to happen. She split her lips and felt his demanding tongue entering, searching for hers, and she shivered from the deep sensation.

The song of their Force bond was incredibly beautiful at that moment, strong and splendid. He was an open book for her while they shared this kiss and she felt his mixed feelings and thoughts. She opened eye to study him and saw that his eyes were closed tight, as if he was preparing to jump into nothingness this very moment. I like it, Ben. He shivered at her sentence but didn't recoil. His birth name was right. It felt right at this strange moment. He touched her cheek gently and she leaned into his large palm.

But as everything good comes to an end, he stopped kissing her. Rey opened her eyes and saw everything in his gaze - his fear, his hope, his hesitation. She never saw him so vulnerable before.

Suddenly, she heard a shadow of a voice inside her head, a dark memory which leaked through their strengthened bond.

"You have compassion for her. It isn't her strength that is making you fail. It's your weakness".

Rey understood it was one of his conversations with Snoke. Ren's face changed. He was again building the walls and lifting his shields.

"We'll never do this again."

Despite being bare faced, when she looked at his face, his real mask was on him again. Not the physical mask, but the emotional cocoon he used to live in. She opened her mouth, not knowing what answer to give, but he raised his hand in a stopping gesture.

"Don't," his tone was harsh. "This was a mistake, an impulse. We won't speak of it."

She had no choice but to nod silently.

Ren pointed towards the door of her room, his voice devoid of emotion, "Go to your room. Find something to occupy yourself. We won't practice today, and you'll stay in your room until we decide what do with you next." That word - we - reminded her of everything. They were on the Finalizer. She sacrificed her freedom for the lives of her friends, who he tortured and was willing to murder if she didn't join him. He was a murderer and her enemy. That we meant We - The First Order, and not we - you and I.

Rey turned around and ran into her room, pressing her palm to her mouth to suppress tears of shame. The beauty kissed the beast, but no miracle happened and the war still was shaking the Galaxy. The beast stayed the beast. She heard the click of the electronic lock on the door.

Finally, she became a prisoner.

-x-

"We need to find her."

Finn was pacing around the room nervously, rubbing his hands.

The Resistance finally settled down. The old Rebellion base on Atollon welcomed its new host, and gave the Resistance the shelter it desperately needed. It resembled the one left behind on D'Qar and had already begun to live its buzzing life. Despite this, many things still needed to be done or finished up - new hangars, new quarters and communications.

"We don't even know where to start searching, buddy," said Poe to Finn.

"We need to start somewhere! Not sit on Atollon and wait for Kylo Ren to kill her or to give her a brainwash," Finn felt that time was playing against them. "If you won't go, I'll go by myself."

"General Organa won't approve of it. You're a pilot now and the pilot must obey the orders of his general."

"To hell with all orders the in the galaxy! I am fed up with orders."

Finn came towards his friend and clutched his shoulders, "Remember, she saved your life, pal. You owe her. We both do."

Dameron seemed convinced by the words. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Okay, okay, we need to establish a plan."

"Thank you, Poe, it means a lot to me," Finn tapped Poe's shoulder, "We'll start from Takodana. If there's a place where we can find the information about Rey, it's Maz Kanata's cantina. All rumors of the galaxy are concentrated in that place."

"You are right, Finn. I owe her my life. Besides, I know that your feelings for the girl are far from friendship," Poe winked.

"Shut up, you," Finn looked embarrassed by the teasing. "We're friends, nothing more."

Poe threw up his hands in pretended defense, "Just friends, understood." His face became serious, "But we need at least to inform the General about our rescue plan. We can't just take a fighter and fly away."

Finn sighed. Informing General Organa made things more complicated.

"Okay, let's tell her. But I'll go anyway, with her blessing or without it. I need to find Rey."

Poe hugged his friend's shoulders.

"We'll find her, buddy. We definitely will. She will be all right."

-x-

Ren didn't come for her the next day. And the day after that. And after. She was stuck in her small room all alone. Only the droid which brought her food three times a day and holo readers were a distraction for her troubled mind.

On the fourth night, Rey decided to escape. The four walls of her chamber brought gloom to her, as if she was shut in a coffin. There was nothing to keep her on the Finalizer - no hostages, no threat for the Resistance. She wondered what kept her before, but she couldn't admit to herself that deep inside, she knew the answer. She opened the door mechanism with a fork and cut the wires with her lightsaber. So be it. She'd escape and forget all this like a nightmare. Rey didn't know how she would find the Resistance, but decided to deal with one problem at a time. The main goal now was to be as far as she could be from him.

The hall was dark and silent. She didn't have anything aside from the lightsaber to lighten her path, but it didn't give much light, allowing her only to see her feet, so she sneaked with her hand stretched forward. After a few steps, someone switched on the dim light behind her back.

Ren was sitting on one of the chairs beside the long table, half-turned towards her. The lamp threw shadows on his face, making him look almost alien. He was rid of his usual attire, sleeves of his tunic turned upwards, revealing his forearms. His hair looked messy, and she again noticed dark circles under his eyes, distinguishable even in dim light of the lamp.

"Han Solo always said his home planet produced two things: spaceships and brandy," he raised his hand and she saw a glass with a golden-brown liquid splashing inside. He wiggled the glass and she heard a clink of ice cubes inside it. Rey stood tense, expecting him to try to stop her from escaping. But he didn't move from his chair: he drank a bit and waved his hand solemnly.

"C'mon, Rey, run away, I won't stop you," he didn't sound angry, only… sad. "You won, girl. Just leave."

She stood in hesitation, surprised by his lack of reaction. The exit was luring her, but something in his appearance didn't let her go.

"Why are you drinking?"

"To get drunk, of course."

A bitter smirk appeared on his lips. He had a special type of dry humor, almost sarcastic, making people feel out of sorts. She decided to try again.

"And why do you need to be drunk?"

"Because I need to forget."

"Forget what?"

He didn't answer and took another sip from the glass and looked at the lamp through the golden liquid. When he spoke again, his voice was trembling a bit.

"Four damn days I tried to convince myself that everything is like before. That we can still train as teacher and student. But nothing's like before. Who are you, Rey? What are you? I never felt so weak. You made me weak. I was sure that you'd stand by my side as my apprentice, immersed in the Dark side of the Force. That I'd break you. I knew I was stronger in the Force and I'd beat you in our 'connecting vessels' game. But it seems that you broke me. I feel the pull to the Light even stronger than before. The moment we kissed, I realised that I can't teach you anymore, because you infected me with your Light. I killed my father so I wouldn't feel that pull anymore, you know." A pained grimace twitched his features. Alcohol obviously loosened his self-restraints, although he didn't seem drunk at all. She saw turmoil in his eyes. He wasn't Ben Solo anymore. But he wasn't Kylo Ren either. He continued.

"You ruined everything. I feel as though something pulls me towards you, and I feel the Light calling me. I stood in the night, and that was my place. Now, I hear your song in the darkness. It tempts me. It is torture. I feel torn apart again."

He dropped his head onto his hands. She heard his whisper, "I wish I never met you. Just leave me. Go to your Resistance friends."

He was obviously breaking in front of her eyes. He was sitting at the table, his back to her, his head on his arms. She couldn't help but feel compassion for him. Rey cautiously approached him and touched his shoulder.

Everything happened in a matter of seconds. She found herself sitting on his lap, his lips ravishing hers in a desperate kiss. Rey felt a sweet dizziness. He kissed her as if it was his last will before execution, as if there would be no tomorrow. He tasted a little sweet and slightly heady from the brandy, but it was a pleasant taste. The light smell of expensive alcohol mixed with his own masculine smell created a mind-boggling mix. Ren raised his hands and undid her buns, combing her brown locks with his long, slender fingers. His hands stroked her back then, and she felt a wave of desire passing through her body. She kissed him back passionately, forgetting the four days she spent alone in her room. He was a strange, unpredictable man. But he was holding her tight and the last thing she wanted now was him to release her. Nothing else mattered except two people in an empty dark hall.

"Please, let me have you. I'll go mad if I don't have you, Rey. Be mine for this night," she heard his breathless whisper. She took his head in her small palms and inhaled the smell of his hair.

"Come with me, Ben. To the Resistance. Your mother misses you."

He shook his head.

"It's too late. I've been gone for too long. They'll never accept me. Don't forget who I am. A killer, an enemy. As for my mother… I killed her husband. She will never forgive me."

"But…"

He silenced her with a kiss.

"Sshhh, don't think about that. All we have now is tonight. In the morning, we'll wake up enemies again and you'll run to the nearest hangar, take the TIE-fighter and fly as far as you can. We'll continue to be who we truly are. If you stay, I'll kill you with my own hand, because this is what I must do. In fact, I must take you to Snoke, but I won't do it, because what he'll do to you is worse than death itself. And I can't allow it. It's better to kill you fast and without pain. As my attempts to sway you failed, you're too dangerous to stay alive. Run, don't make me choose between you and the Dark Side, please, because if you do…" His face twitched with pain, "I don't want to do that. I should have done it four days ago when I realised my failure, but I couldn't do it then and can't do it now. I shut you in that room to protect you from myself."

His inner turmoil was almost palpable. Suddenly, he kissed her again, hungrily, as if he tried to distract himself from his anguish, and whispered into her ear with pain in his voice, "But I can't let you go right now, not yet. Let's pretend we're someone else tonight. We'll forget about everything, and you'll be only mine, and I'll be only yours."

He kissed the pulse point on her neck, as well as her throat and her collarbone, his kisses warm and arousing. She dented her fingers deep into his hair and moaned from the sensation.

"Please, be mine tonight, only tonight," he whispered into her ear, making her shiver from his hot breath. "Will you?"

Her eyes were closed and she reached for him with her will and sensed his light. It pulsated inside him like a small supernova in the ocean of darkness. It was not a weak sparkle she sensed within him like she did previously. His darkness whirled wildly, trying to consume the bright light inside him. He was unbalanced, dancing at the tip of the spear, and it made him even more dangerous. She had to run from him as if he was a bomb with a timer, but she stayed for some reason, running her fingers through his wild black curls.

"Will you?" He repeated and everything became simple and clear in her mind.

"Yes," she whispered back and felt as his strong arms lifted her as though she weighed nothing more than a feather.

-x-

They were kissing madly while he carried her into his room. They fell onto his bed in the darkness and it creaked traitorously. He paused to take off her boots and Rey kicked them off impatiently. Ren took her foot and set it against his chest, lightly stroking. His palm was almost the size of her small feet. He stroked her ankle under the edge of her trousers and a wave of arousal passed through her body again. He leaned forward, kissed her hungrily while his long fingers began to unbutton her suit. He laid his palm on her chest, still covered with the material.

"Are you sure? Because if you don't stop me now, I'm not sure I can stop myself later," his voice sounded husky.

She gulped and nodded, and he took off her garment in one swift motion. She was lying before him almost naked, only having her panties on her. Her first reaction was to lift her hands and cover herself but she felt the soft grip of his hand on her wrist.

"Don't hide from me. You're beautiful."

He leaned forward and peppered kisses on her chest and collarbone. His breath was warm. He pinned both of her wrists above her head, descending with his kisses lower. She felt his lips on her breasts, teasing her already erect nipples. It felt incredible.

"Oh, Ben, yes, yes…" She moaned and bit her lip. He bit her nipples lightly with his teeth and caressed her tender skin with his tongue and it felt almost too much. Waves of pleasure were spreading across her body.

"Let me… I want to touch you," she murmured into his ear. He let her hands free, and took off his tunic over his head. His body was lean, yet muscular. She touched his naked chest shyly at first and then became more confident. He leaned forward to kiss her gently, and she shivered from the sensation of naked skin on skin. The sensation of their naked body touching must have been the last drop for him. His palms slipped down into her panties and squeezed her butt so tight that she whimpered. His arousal was so strong that she sensed it both physically from his hardness against her thighs and mentally through their bond. His kisses became demanding and wild again and she answered with equal passion. If that was the Dark Side, she embraced it with joy, letting her inner fire burn wild, sucking his tongue and biting his lips. He drew back to remove his belt and trousers and then returned to her, to take off her last piece of cloth. She stretched her hand, gripped his hard member and heard his suppressed groan through clenched teeth. He softly removed her hand from his shaft.

"I won't last long if you touch me like that," he was panting from the desire. "Let me taste you first."

His kisses were torturously slow. He kissed her stomach and her navel and descended lower. He kissed her inner thigh and gently parted her legs with both hands. And then she was lost.

Unlike her, he obviously was not a novice in terms of making love. His tongue and fingers were skillful and she melted from his licks, kisses and soft bites. He found the sensitive bud between her thighs and began to caress it. Rey dented her fingers into his hair and moaned.

"Don't stop, Ben, oh, stars, don't stop…"

He parted her wet folds and inserted his finger into her, all the while caressing her sensitive bud. Rey felt as if she was climbing some invisible stairs towards incredible pleasure. Suddenly she felt her walls clenching around his fingers and her body arched and she cried out his name shuddering in ecstasy which covered her mind and body.

She felt his hot, hard member near her entrance, not yet completely recovered from her orgasm. She put her palm onto his chest and caught his questioning gaze.

"You know… I never did it before," the confession flew from her lips.

"Don't be afraid, sweetheart. I'll be gentle."

Rey bit her lip and nodded.

He entered her in one swift motion. It hurt rather badly and she cried out in pain, so he stopped and soothed her with tender kisses and strokes. Few moments passed and she felt her body adjust to his length. He began to move slowly and she felt the pain go away, only to be replaced by sweet pleasure. She moaned and cried with each slow thrust.

He began to move faster, unable to restrain himself, being in the power of primal need. She felt their bond opening completely, connecting them into one organism. She felt his desire and wild passion for her and saw herself with his eyes, beautiful and naked, clutching the bedsheet, moaning shamelessly under his slender body. He was in charge tonight and no matter how much they fought for domination in real life, tonight she was giving herself to him completely and she felt him doing the same. She felt a new wave of ecstasy coming to her as his hips met her thighs and he panted heavily, biting her earlobe.

"Oh, Rey, damn, I am near… Come for me."

These words were the last stair to her release and she felt bursting from pleasure and buried her nails into his back, the world breaking around her.

He felt her walls clenching wildly around his shaft and heard her crying out his name in ecstasy again and again and that threw him over the edge. He growled and buried himself within her to the hilt, releasing himself inside her body.

They stayed connected for a few moments longer, even when the waves of pleasure went down and passed. Then he got off her, panting, and curled behind her on their crumpled bedsheets, and she basked in the warmth of his embrace. He kissed the back of her neck with incredible tenderness and she heard him whispering into the curls on the back of her head.

"Say it. Say it even if it is a lie."

"I am yours, Ben."

Rey felt his grip tightening and sensed his pleasure caused by her words, and felt him becoming hard again. She stretched her hand and stroked his cock. He softly moaned into her neck in return.

"Are you sore?" She heard Ben murmur into her ear. "Because if you are we don't have to…"

She felt no pain at all, so she gladly gave him the green light. He entered her from behind and they made love gently, almost lazily, savouring every moment of closeness. He kissed her neck and shoulders, teasing her nipples with his skillful fingers and his touches were tender and sweet. His thrusts were slow and she felt all his length moving inside of her. They shared a long and slow orgasm at the end, sinking together in a lake of gentle pleasure.

He held her tightly, almost possessively and they both fell into deep sleep.

-x-

Rey ran across the corridors of the Finalizer without looking back. Her crimson cloak was on her, her hood up. Every single Stormtrooper decided to get out of her way, remembering the red figure beside Lord Ren.

Ben.

She remembered waking up early in the morning and finding him still sleeping soundly beside her. He looked very peaceful in his sleep, his face so young and calm. The lighting system of the Finalizer imitated the daylight, permitting her to study his torso. He had many scars, and she noticed one big scar on his side: it must have been a trace left by Chewie's bowcaster. He murmured something in his sleep and put his arm around her more tightly. She lay beside him, looking into his face, trying to memorize this fragile moment. Rey knew, that he was right the night before - the morning came and they were enemies again, both having their duties to fulfill. She watched the man beside her and realized that she needed to face the reality. She kissed him goodbye softly, not to wake him up. The night passed and the spell was now broken.

Rey found the nearest hangar and mind-tricked two guards near the entrance since she wasn't sure that her red cloak would help her in that situation. She instructed one of the Stormtroopers to open a gate for her, choosing an advanced TIE-fighter model, which, as she knew was equipped with a hyperdrive. When she finally climbed into the spaceship and began to start up the engines, she thought that her escape had been too easy. No chasing or shooting: just a small mind trick. She felt almost disappointed, because escaping so easily raised a question - why had she been staying there for so many days? Was she really a prisoner, a victim as she tried to think of herself? Or maybe it was all because she wanted to stay?

The engines roared and the TIE-fighter flew out of the hangar. She looked back through the glass of the window and sensed him waking up. Despite that they were moving farther and farther apart, their bond stayed strong, and she felt his emotions. It was a mix of anger, sadness and guilt; he must have found her gone. Rey closed her eyes and felt hot tears falling down. She screwed up her eyes tightly and tried to sever the bond with all her might, to block her thoughts and feelings from him. Her lips trembled as she repeated the phrase, which Master Luke told her the day he began to teach her the Force. "There is no emotion - there is peace. There is no passion - there is serenity." The connection began to fade and soon only dull ache stayed somewhere at the background of her soul. Rey sighed and took off her crimson attire and stayed in her old clothes from Jakku. She leaned over the navigational panel and smirked bitterly on her thoughts. There she was - Rey from Jakku, all alone again on her way to nowhere. She didn't know the new coordinates of the Resistance base and therefore decided to go to the only place where she could find it. She entered the coordinates into the computer and switched on the hyperdrive.

The Mid Rim, Tashtor sector. Takodana.

A/N: I need a cold shower.

The phrase Rey hears inside of Ben's head ("You have compassion for her. It isn't her strength that is making you fail. It's your weakness") is not presented in film, it is from the Novelization of TFA (I took it from audio version).

My track for this chapter is 30 Seconds To Mars – Hurricane. Sometimes I have tracks which I listen over and over which fit the mood of the chapter.

I hope you felt the bittersweet sensation I tried to express in words.