Chapter 10 Absolution
"Can you hear a voice
Decipher it through all this noise
You'll be left with nothing again" - Absolution
…
December, 2004
Hermione was sitting next to a bed, where, of course, Draco was lying comfortably in. Carelessly stroking his hair while reading, only disconnecting herself with him when she needed to turn a page.
Astra was more than helpful, she knew exactly what to do, said Hermione wrote her a list of things to do already, she even helped out the business where she could to have time to spend with Draco. It was interesting where Draco's the one who felt fatigue after the treatment when Astra's fine and lively.
It was like they were back in time, back when they first met, back when she was miserable and he thought for sure that life couldn't be any better. Back when they thought it was okay to live like this.
They were both survivors, they were not revolutionist like Harry or Lucius, they took in what they had and they lived with it. And then they met each other.
And then they met a funny word, the word called "life". She had a life when he was in hers, he started a life with her, it was all philosophical, it was also one of the genre of books that she loves and he questions.
She feared sometimes, when Astra's gone, which will be happening in a few days, will they lose hope? In the long eleven years of tiny Astra's childhood, will they lose hope just as they were 6 years ago? Lose faith in their life, their promises, their daughter?
Could history really go according to plan?
She was silently reading Pride and Prejudge. People thought she was just a simple girl liking Jane Austen, but it was more than that, it was because of the pretentious and yet witty and sarcastic dialogue that made her fall in love with Jane Austen. The first time she read one of her books, it had no effect on Hermione, but then, by chance, learning about history, learning about the culture and the facts, she could not believe how brilliant Jane Austen was.
She used to dream of being one of a kind just like her. She used to think that she was inadequate, she compensated everything by efforts, she used to think that it was necessary in the path of that.
Now she knew, now she knew her goal was unimportant. Being brilliant, being a pioneer was easy, having a life, being with the one you love, having a child, being a mother, that was hard. Numerous people in the world tried to be extraordinary, it was a shame and ironic that people named ordinary things ordinary.
The use of language was misleading, ordinary was the best she could do, ordinary was the thing that she had to put everything in line and use all her efforts to do.
With a slight moan, she turned her head to Draco, his eyelashes flickering. And slowly, he opened his eyes, a little confused and still dreamy, he focused his sight on Hermione.
"Hey."
She smiled.
…
September, 2015
He hated it, he hated how his daughter is now going to Hogwarts, where he couldn't see her everyday and how Teddy freaking Lupin is seeing her everyday.
Hermione was okay though, said they were only second cousins, and they didn't grew up together, and she fully supported it, even said it was meant to happen, so quit nagging.
Why and how on earth? He wasn't opposed because of the cousins thing, pure blood do it all the time, it wasn't because of the blood thing or the werewolf thing, not even the age thing, it was only because of the male thing.
It was also disgusting because Teddy resembled Remus so much, and his little sunshine resembled Sirius so much, it was weird and he hated it.
Hermione could not be more happy, Harry was too, and that gave him enough reason to hate this.
But his little girl was a determined one, strict and stubborn, much like himself, if she had her mind on something, she would step on a table to be the same height as he is and point a finger to his nose and list all the reasons and pros and cons until he caved. And he always had to cave.
Lexie on the other hand was tiny and cute, she had tried on too many occasion to be strong and fierce, taking examples from her sister, but it was not a personality thing, it was just a character thing, you would think that they were the same wouldn't you?
He's an atheist. He refused to believe that there was some greater power out there. He refused to believe that there's a God, where he decides everything, not because of the misery that he had put on him, his family, his wife, but if there's a God, that should be the most terrifying being, not for the life that he could force on someone, but for the life that he could change for someone.
If there's a God, a God that could change his life now, he would certainly be terrified, his wife wouldn't though, nor his daughter, the two would make God cave, he on the other hand, could only beg, and perhaps truly pray that he wouldn't take any of these away from him. Every emotion led to this life, every poorly made decisions led to the life that he can finally call living.
He still had to pinch himself sometimes, wake up and touch his wife sometimes, hold his little girls and lift them up sometimes, to make sure this is real, this is what he had.
Thank God for the reckless decision, little Draco and little Hermione made.