1) No, I have not and will not abandon this story. I just get writers block like nobody's business .
2) I am very very very sorry for the long wait & I should have the next chapter up by next week as an apology!
3) Enjoy ~
There was still time to head back now, Nezumi reasoned- to change his mind and do the thirty minute walk back to his apartment.
He was early; Shion might not have even set off yet- his house was only a few blocks away, he had said. With every person that turned the corner onto the street Café Coco was on, Nezumi got more and more anxious.
He had progressed to shifting constantly from one foot to the other, and playing with the tassels on his scarf every few minutes. He was now fed up of the amused looks he was getting from middle aged women- he felt like a lovesick idiot teenager on his first date. Though now he thought about it, he guessed all those other times hadn't exactly been dates, had they? Perhaps this was his first proper one after all.
Not that this could be a date though- absolutely not. When he had answered that vague text from Shion he had made sure to include no mention of the word date at all, and to make it sound as platonic as possible. It was a coffee between friends, nothing more.
Though they weren't exactly friends anymore, were they? Acquaintances was their status now. Time had created a giant rift between them that couldn't be bridged over a cup of coffee. Despite saying at parent's evening that Eve had been his best friend, when Shion looked at him, he saw none of the happy memories he associated with Eve- he saw a stranger.
"And that's the way you should leave it." Harumi's voice was getting clearer and clearer lately, and Nezumi had to dig his nails into his hand until the pain made the voice disappear.
16:19. Shion should be here any minute. The cold from the sunless winter day was starting to creep into Nezumi. He shoved his hands into his pockets. Maybe he should leave now; keep the distance as it was. But as he looks up, he can see him running over now- rubbing his eyes in his big duffel coat with hair sticking up at all angles- and he decides to stay. Because now, he doesn't feel as cold, and now- that's the only thing that matters.
He prays Harumi's voice won't change his mind again.
"Ah, Nezumi!" Shion sees him now, and runs a little faster. Nezumi smiles awkwardly, not knowing how to greet his long lost friend. Every time they've met so far it has been unexpected.
"I didn't keep you waiting, did I? I'm really sorry- I was working all the way through the night and only got home at 8am, and I forgot to set an alarm-
"Shion, it's fine. I just got here myself." Nezumi lies.
"Ah thank goodness," Shion puts his hands on his legs, out of breath and visibly relieved, and now gazes eagerly into the café window; the lights from the display reflecting in his eyes.
"Want to head in?"
Nezumi isn't even sure what he says back, or if he says anything at all, but Shion smiles, and he follows the white haired wonder into the crowded café, where it reminds him of the first time they met, and strangely it feels-like last time- that they're the only ones there.
I half expected Nezumi not to come today when I sent that text – to text back saying he was too busy with grading papers or planning lessons. So when I got that short little message back the next morning I didn't know what to think.
"Was it inappropriate to ask my godfather's teacher out for coffee? Did that count as a date?! Did he see it as a date? …What the hell do I wear?!"
Usually I'd turn to Safu with these questions, but considering she knew Nezumi, I thought it best to keep quiet about it for now. Besides, she wasn't completely understanding when I came out as pansexual. No matter whom I'd gone on dates with- guy or girl- she'd always been weird about it.
So for the time being, no matter whether this thing with Nezumi was platonic or something more, Safu would not be told. I hadn't been on a date in months now, and things between Safu and I had just got back to normal.
The café was busier than I expected, so Nezumi offered to wait in line while I got us a table in the back. Naturally he stood out in the queue, despite only wearing a casual dark green jumper with light brown jeans and a faded mustard scarf.
I was glad I went for my burgundy jumper instead of the shirt, I wouldn't want him to think I was pretentious.
Jeez Shion, get a grip… you're a 23 year old man, and this is not your first date. What would Safu say? Stop over-analysing everything and be natural.
I repeat this like a mantra in my head as he walks over.
"Latte with extra cream, right? She said she'd bring round your cherry cake in a few minutes. Fresh out the oven, I think."
"Yeah, that's right, thanks. Are you not having any cake? You can share mine if you want, it should be good if it's been freshly baked. Nothing could beat my mother's recipe though…Sorry I'm rambling… it's been a while since I've done this." I gesture to the table vaguely. Nezumi somehow manages to frown and chuckle into his mug at the same time,
"What, drink coffee?"
I roll my eyes but don't bother to hide my smile. That was supposed to be the awkward "is this a date?" question, but Nezumi hasn't risen to the bait. Nezumi puts his mug down and looks straight at me.
"I'm fine- about the cake. I'm not really in the mood for errr… cherry cake right now." His eyes dip up and down and settle on the table space between us.
"Sure, well if you change your mind feel free to take some."
I take my mug now and start pouring in multiple packets of sugar. Nezumi watches me with an amused expression.
"You sure you've got enough coffee with your sugar..?"
I look across the table to where he holds his mug of steaming, menacing looking black liquid and chuckle to myself.
"I grew up in a bakery; I'm a sucker for sweet things."
"Oh yeah." He looks panicked for a moment. "Err, what was that like?" A cheeky glint flashes in his eyes, "Were you a chubby little kid from eating all the cakes?" I fake a surprised pout.
"I was not! I had a little something called self-control…"
He flashes his white teeth in his quirky little smile- so fast I would have missed it had I blinked.
I decide to go along with his teasing, and tear open a packet of sugar, leaning over the table with my arm outstretched.
"So how about you? What would you do, for instance, if I poured this sugar into your coffee?"
He too leans over, and pulls his mug into his chest defensively- though I can see the start of a smile curling on his lips,
"I'd pour the whole cup into your lap." He's so close I can count every eyelash. I lean back in my chair, praying he can't hear my heart pounding unnecessarily hard in my chest.
"Ouch. Someone's very protective over their coffee."
"Couldn't live without the stuff." He takes a drink. "This is the only thing that keeps me awake at school. Speaking of which, how come you were at work so late?"
"I work in the university's research department of diseases, and we're investigating an air-borne bacterial disease at the moment. We had to run an all-nighter experiment, but we don't have the machinery to do it for us, and I drew the short straw to conduct it."
"That sounds tedious."
"Yep, it's incredibly boring looking after bacteria cultures for hours on end. But hey, if it gets us one step closer to finding a cure for the disease, then it's worth it. That's why I started working there to begin with, to try and help save people."
"A very noble reason indeed." He opens his mouth to say more, but we are interrupted by a perky waitress with a huge grin plastered on her face.
"One portion of cherry cake with whipped cream!"
"Thanks, it looks delicious. Could I get an extra fork with that?" Nezumi looks at me with an eyebrow raised.
"Oh, sure thing honey. Coming right up." She walks away, and I try to cut the cake down the middle.
"I said I wasn't having any, Shion."
"I've heard your stomach rumble three times since we got here, you can have at least one bite."
I've successfully cut the cake in half when the waitress places the fork next to the other one. When I look at Nezumi he is watching me with a warm smile, which he tries to shake off as he realises I've caught him. It makes me smile too.
"So how about you, Nezumi?" I push the plate into the centre of the table.
"Why did you become a teacher?"
"I just did." He takes a mouthful of cherry cake, "You were right Shion, this is good."
I can sense he's trying to change the subject, but I push further, whilst taking a chunk of cake myself.
"You just did? So it's always been your life's dream?" The cake tastes good, but I can tell they've used canned cherries instead of fresh ones.
"Why are you so interested, Shion?" He leans back in his chair, and everything about his stance exudes an air of confidence and authority- the way he's leaning against the arm of the chair; the way he grips his mug with his slender fingers; the way he looks at me with his head at a slight angle. It's a little intimidating.
"Are you trying to build a better picture of me? When I answer you, will you feel less guilty for judging me, Mr. Big Shot Researcher?"
"What?"
"You want information you can attach a value to. So you can decide what kind of person I am." He started off with a playful tone to his voice, but now I can hear the bitterness underneath.
"Why would I want to do that? I just want to know more about you Nezumi…" My voice is almost a whisper, "I'm not- assessing you- or whatever you think I'm doing."
He looks like he doesn't believe me.
"I'm not looking down on you. I'd like to think of myself as your equal, if that's alright with you."
I cautiously smile at him until his frown turns into a look of embarrassment.
"Sorry…I didn't mean to get so defensive. I guess I…I'm not used to this." Just as I did earlier on, he motions to the space between us.
"What, talking about yourself?" I try my best to imitate his voice, and am rewarded with that lovely smile.
"Exactly."
I pick up my drink to try and hide my stupid grin, the effect his smile on is ridiculous.
"We'll have to change that then, won't we?"