Sad Eyes

Summary: Kyoko was unprepared when Ren made the mistake of speaking his true feelings, and she ran away. Now she is more mature, but is unwilling to forgive herself for her childish action. Will Ren be able to win his way back to her side before another steals her heart?

Disclaimer: I do not own SkipBeat! or any of the manga's characters. All of the rest is the invention of my odd, restless mind.

Chapter 10 – Persona

Satoko and Maki were grinning triumphantly as they dragged the still-resisting Fumiko down the street towards Satoko's house. They had been trying to convince their friend to have a sleepover for months and months, with no success. Satoko had come up with the brilliant idea of recruiting the Taisho's assistance, so she claimed the privilege of having the sleepover at her house.

The two friends loved Fumiko. She was so… interesting and different. She might be their boss at the ryokan, yet she was never harsh or bullying. When they needed to be corrected or advised, she spoke softly and simply, making her instructions clear. They knew that she had a temper, as a matter of fact, which made her seem even cooler to them. She could back down a big, gruff man like Morishita's nephew, and she could even control the rowdy men who sometimes became drunk at the restaurant, with a simple change of her demeanor.

They held her arms, one on each side, as they talked and laughed in their careless schoolgirl way. Kyoko, for her part, reluctantly gave in to their jollity and decided to just have fun. She missed her own best friend terribly, wishing that Moko-san could be there on this cloudy, cool evening. Phone calls were not enough, and she felt terribly lonely. As much as she liked these two girls and valued their friendship, she couldn't confide in them about her sempai and the feelings that persisted in plaguing her rebellious heart.

Satoko waved and called out, "Good evening, Mayor Namuro!" as they passed a gazebo that sat in the shadows of a tree-lined garden. Kyoko glanced over and saw two figures silhouetted against the sky. One was definitely the mayor, but the other, though female, was not Namuro's wife.

Maki casually waved as well, and then said, "It appears that you may have competition for Chief Takage's heart after all."

It took Kyoko a moment to realize that Maki was speaking to her, "I keep telling you, Maki-san: Takage-san and I are only friends; nothing more." But her curiosity was peaked nonetheless, "Who's sitting with Mayor Namuro?"

"That's his daughter, Akemi. She and Takage-san were the item in high school. She's a big-time reporter in Tokyo now. She even changed her name. Oh, that's right: you met her this morning with Hizuri-san. She said her name was…"

"Takanami Aika," Kyoko supplied. "She met up with Takage-san and I on the trail, and later I served tea to her and Hizuri-san in the Snowflower Room. I hope she didn't misunderstand, seeing the police chief and I walking together."

The two friends looked at each other behind Kyoko's back and shook their heads. It was clear that Fumiko was completely oblivious concerning how the young, handsome police chief felt about her. Their silent message to each other, loosely translated, would have been: Is she crazy! I'd love to have him look at me in that way. Still, despite her seeming obliviousness concerning men, they still loved their interesting friend.

Mayor Namura sat silently and watched his beautiful daughter as she followed the three girls with her eyes. He knew what she was thinking because he had already endured thirty minutes of questioning about Asahi Fumiko. Earlier when he could endure no more, he had said what he really wanted to say, "If you're so concerned about someone stealing Keitaro away, then come back here and fight for him!"

Now, as the young ladies strolled by on the street, he felt his daughter's seething anger and regretted his outburst. It had been the wrong thing to say, and he knew it, "Look, Akemi… I'm sorry for what I said. Your mother and I support you and your dream of making it big in Tokyo. Just remember: all choices have consequences attached, and even dreams have their cost."

Akemi watched the three girls crest the next little hill and disappear before replying, "I know, father." They sat silently for a little longer until a damp breeze made them both shiver.

"It's going to rain soon, Akemi. Let's head back inside."

As father and daughter walked hand-in-hand toward the house, Akemi spoke into the night. "They're only friends, right?"

To Satoko and Maki, Asahi Fumiko was the epitome of grace and class. Both unconsciously and consciously they imitated her, trying to style themselves to be more like their golden-eyed friend. Satako's parents could see the difference too. Before meeting Fumiko, the two girls had been typical rebellious teenagers. They hadn't caused any real trouble, but they had managed to worry their guardians. Lately they had been transforming into wonderful young ladies. Their parents had been friends forever, before the accident. They often met and conferred about their daughters. Satako's parents agreed that Morishita's mysterious young okami-san was a good influence on their daughter, and they loved her accordingly.

So when the three girls showed up at the door of the Ezakiya residence, Satoko's parents were effusive in their greetings. Kyoko was embarrassed at the way the elders seemed to fawn over her, and she was grateful when her friends dragged her up the stairs. "Are they always like that when you bring guests over?"

Maki giggled, "I've never seen them act like that. I think that it's just because you're a celebrity."

Kyoko's face became alarmed for a moment. The girls interpreted her expression as surprise and laughed, "Relax Fumiko-san, we talk about our okami-san all of the time. They tease us and ask us if you're a rock-star or something. You shouldn't be so tense; they like you."

Kyoko allowed herself to breathe again. For a brief moment she had feared that her true identity had been discovered. Then she scolded herself for her foolishness. How arrogant I am. I was only a minor actress with a few roles. It's not as if anyone even remembers me now. She gave them a smile which turned into a frown. "You shouldn't exaggerate things to your parents. Please don't make me sound like I'm something I'm not. Consider how disappointed they'll be when they find out that I'm not what they thought I was."

Satoko hugged the golden-eyed girl affectionately. "No worries there. The more they get to know you, the more they'll love you."

Kyoko hid her grimace. They don't know me. They only know my okami persona. In a way, it was true. The personality that the Ukita Islanders had met was a conglomeration of Mrs. Fuwa, the Okami-san of the Daruma-ya, and her own ideal of what a dignified okami-san should be. When she wasn't working, she had created her interpretation of how a properly trained young lady should act. To her, they were both character sketches. Kyoko had forgotten her own words to Tsuruga Ren, spoken two years before, when she said that she was "finding Kyoko" and trying to create a person she could be proud of. In her mind, her personas were separate from her true personality. She still could not understand that each character was a part of who she was.

Kyoko's concerns were soon pushed aside by the sheer power of the two girls' enthusiasm. Satoko and Maki sat their pretty friend on the bed and started pointing out various items in the room. It seemed that every item had a story attached to it. The two cheery girls had been best friends since before they could talk, so their stories were numerous and often hilarious. By the time that Satoko's mother called them down to dinner, Kyoko had tears in her eyes and her sides ached from laughter.

Dinner, for Kyoko, began as a slightly embarrassing affair. The two friends had made a habit of surreptitiously observing their older friend and mimicking her every movement. She had become used to this at the ryokan, but it was disconcerting when they mirrored her in front of Satoko's parents. She made herself relax, however, when she glanced at Satoko's mother in consternation and saw the older woman's amusement. Satoko must have taken her parents aside and spoken to them, because they had toned down their enthusiasm when the three girls came down to dinner. Still, Kyoko was clearly the guest of honor.

Satoko had a younger brother, named Sanjuro, who burst into the house ten minutes into the meal. He had been tied up in a club event and had not been expecting guests. When he saw Kyoko, he froze for a moment and then gave her a boyish grin. Kyoko liked him right away. Sanjuro was fourteen and had the disproportionate look of a teen boy in the middle of a growth spurt. His hair was disheveled and there were scrapes on both knees. He had a ready smile and a twinkle in his eye as he bowed to her, "G'd evening, Asahi-san. Thank you for taking good care of my sister and my Maki-chan." Kyoko and the parents smiled in amusement as Satoko berated her brother and Maki shrank in her corner from humiliation. The girls had already mentioned Sanjuro's crush on Maki, so Kyoko understood.

Any discomfort vanished as the meal progressed. The Ezakiya household was pleasant and homey. Kyoko could easily understand now why Satoko was such a sweet and lively girl. She imagined that Maki's home must be much the same. It made her feel sad and envious, but only for a moment or two.

The three girls escaped upstairs once the meal was completed. Satoko very deliberately and pointedly closed and locked the door in Sanjuro's face as he tried to follow. Kyoko was able to push aside her own concerns about Tsuruga Ren and her letter as the girls talked and joked with her. As often happens in such a setting, the conversation drifted without any clear design until Maki sighed and looked at her watch. "Asahi-san… can we please call you Fumiko-chan… just for tonight?"

Kyoko smiled and nodded. Maki continued, "Fumiko-chan, would you mind if Satoko and I practiced? We have tryouts tomorrow, and we just have to get in."

"Tryouts?" Kyoko tilted her head slightly inquisitively.

"Oh! Nobody told you?" Satoko jumped in. "Every year the islanders put on a play. We've been doing it since… well, forever I think. Anyway, it's the big event of the summer and we've been in it every year… but only bit-parts you see… only this year we want to get main parts, so we really have to practice… if you don't mind?"

Kyoko had to control her breathing before she could speak again. A script… oh, if I could act again… I miss it so much… "Wh… What's the name of the play?"

Maki beamed, "It's called Our Island. My brother… he's the English and Drama teacher at our high school… my brother Morihiro… I just call him Morie… took the script from Our Town and rewrote it to fit into a setting more like ours. I always thought he was sort of a dufus, but he wrote a really killing script."

"Maybe I could help?" Kyoko said hesitantly, working hard to conceal her inner hunger, "I could read the other parts while you read your parts."

Satoko, on her knees, jumped up and down; making the bed bounce, "That's great! I bet that you would be really good. Here…" she extended a copy of the script to the older girl, "I brought an extra script home for my useless little brother, but he's wasn't interested when he found out that he probably wouldn't get to play Maki's love interest."

Maki blushed and swatted her friend's shoulder while Kyoko's trembling fingers opened the script. The two girls were involved in a full-contact wrestling match for several minutes before they realized that Asahi Fumiko's attention was lost to them. They had to call her name several times before Kyoko looked up with a sparkle in her golden-eyes. "Can we start from the beginning? We can split the parts and perform a script reading. What parts were you going to audition for?"

Neither girl had ever seen such a look in their mysterious new friend's eyes before. They were instantly captivated and they could not have said no to anything she requested. Maki's brother had kept the same types of characters as the original; the narrator/stage manager, the mothers and fathers, the doctor, and the tragic young lovers. Many of the other characters were similar, while some had the distinctive flavor of Ukita Island. Kyoko had seen the play once, in school, and it had spoken to her heart. Now, as they read through their distributed parts, she forgot her usual reticence and became each character she read. They were halfway through the tragic third act before she realized that her friends had stopped reading and were looking at her with wonder.

"What? Did I miss a line?" She asked and began scanning the page.

The girls spoke in unison, "You're wonderful!" Then they both began speaking at once. "The way you read the stage manager…!" "… you were so cool as the doctor…!" "…the girl's mother, at the gravesite…!" Kyoko stood there, bewildered as they gushed over her simple readings. She became alarmed, however, when Maki pulled out her cell phone and declared, "I'm calling my brother! You just have to be in the play!"

"Now… wait… Maki-san, please!" Maki looked up at the consternation in the older-girl's eyes. Kyoko had leapt forward to place a restraining hand on Maki's cell phone. "Please, Maki-san… I can't be in your play."

"Why not?" Both girls asked in unison again.

"I'm… it's just not a good idea, okay?"

This time, however, the two friends were unwilling to just cave in. Never before, except in movies and on television, had they ever seen anyone who could make characters come alive in the way that their newfound friend had just done. Maki's expression turned firm, "Asahi Fumiko-san, unless you can give me a good reason not to, I'm calling my brother. Don't even pretend that you can't act. You made me want to cry on that last scene."

Satoko grasped Kyoko's clenched hands and joined in, "Please, Fumiko-chan? We didn't tell you, but every cent we raise goes to help the families of the fishermen who die at sea. It's a tradition, and now that you're part of us, you just have to join in… please?"

It was late in the evening when Ren woke again to the feel of a small, soft hand changing the cloth on his forehead. He had met his father earlier in the day and had been alarmed to discover that his parents had come to visit. Takarada Lory had assured him that nobody would think anything about it if the Hizuri's were visiting at his mansion. All of Japan who might be interested knew that he and the Hizuri's had been friends for many years. His green eyes looked deeply into the eyes of the person from whom he had inherited that color. He almost said that she shouldn't have come, but he restrained himself. This was the first time he could remember seeing her since he had left*. He might have been young, but he was still well-aware of how he had hurt his mother by his sudden departure at fifteen.

"Dad said that you were on a fashion trip. Did everything go well?"

Julie began to speak, gulped, and just leaned over to hug her son instead. With her face beside his, she said, "I'm so glad that your fever broke, Kuon. You had me so worried."

"You don't need to worry about me, Mom. I'm strong as a horse and dumb as an ox," he used the words his mother had often used when she teased her tall husband. "Honestly, I'm much better now."

Julie's eyes took in the ceramic bowls stacked on his nightstand. "Did Mogami Kyoko send those to you?"

Ren's eyes widened in surprise, which turned into suspicion. "The Boss has been talking, I take it?"

Julie reached out and moved a lock of hair out of her handsome son's face, "Son, only a woman could bring you so low… be honest with me: do you love her?"

Ren could lie to anyone when absolutely necessary, but never to his mother. Until he had met Kyoko, he had never believed that any woman could come close to her stature in his heart. "Yes, I do. I'm not worthy of someone like her, but I can't help it."

Julie frowned slightly, "You still haven't forgiven yourself, have you? The police, the judge, and even that young lady admitted that what happened was not your fault."

"Mom, if I hadn't been so rebellious… If I hadn't gone looking for trouble, then Rick wouldn't have needed to intervene."

"KUON! That man pulled a knife! He intended to kill you! He had already hurt the young woman. Now, I know that it's a tragedy that Rick died… but you have to forgive yourself... if nothing else, for Kyoko's sake. You two are just alike, you know? Neither of you will forgive yourselves and both of you…" Julie abruptly stopped speaking as she realized what she had been saying, but it was too late.

"Mom?" Ren held his mother's eyes as he sat up. "Mom, have you seen Kyoko?"

Julie had spent the morning on the ferry and the afternoon on a small airplane deciding what to say to her son. The motherly instinct to solve her child's problems had waged war in her mind with her womanly understanding of Mogami Kyoko. It wasn't until this very moment that she had finally reached a decision. "Yes, I've met her."

"Where is she? How is she? Why didn't you… did you bring her back with you?"

"I did not. Kuon, sit back and listen to me." Her motherly voice was soft, but firm. Ren slowly allowed his spine to unstiffen until his back rested against the headboard. Julie held his hands as she spoke. "I've met your Kyoko, and I have to say that I can understand why you care for her. I like her very much, and I would gladly accept her as a daughter-in-law."

"Then why didn't…" Ren's words were halted by a soft hand on his mouth.

"Listen to me, please. I can tell you, without any trace of doubt, that she cares deeply about you. She loves you." She saw the hunger and hurt in her son's eyes and it made her heart ache. "The problem is that she's convinced that you are the perfect man and that you would be ruined, somehow, if she gave in to you. I think that she believes that you will go on with your life if she stays away long enough."

Ren's expression denied her last statement, but he waited for his mother to continue. Julie squeezed his hands, "Quite frankly, you've confirmed that to her by the fact that you've made no effort to find her in over a year. I know that you came to Japan to remake yourself into some ideal man who always controlled himself… and I'm proud of you for what you have become; but my Kuon would never have allowed his lady love to disappear like that without tracking her down."

"She asked me not too," Ren said, realizing that his words sounded limp even as they left his mouth. "I was wrong to tell her my true feelings, knowing her past. I hurt her and I was afraid that I would hurt her worse if I persisted."

"That's good, Kuon. It shows that you've matured and that you're ready for an adult relationship… but something is missing. Sometimes, Son, love needs to be selfish."

Ren's expression showed confusion, "I don't quite understand."

"A girl, especially a girl who doesn't believe in herself, needs someone who will search the world, re-route rivers, and crush mountains into rubble to claim her. Despite her words, she needs someone who won't take no for an answer."

"Wouldn't that just make me a brute?"

"Not if you're the right one. If one-hundred other men tried the same thing, she would despise them all. But if the man she truly loves acts possessive of her, then she will finally understand that your love isn't a passing fancy. You have to make her understand that you intend to have and hold her for the rest of your life; and that you don't intend to give up until she finally gives in. She needs a man, not a gentleman."

Ren sat contemplating his mother's words for a long time before nodding decisively. "Okay, I agree. So tell me, where is she?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"What! But you just told me to…"

"I'm not going to tell you, and here's why: right now, because of your decision to hide your identity, she has no idea that we are related. But once this foolishness is finally over, and you start going by your real name again, she will know. When that happens, I want you to be able to say, without any trace of falsehood, that you found her on your own. Don't give me that look. You sat around for over a year making her wait. If it takes you another year to find her… which it shouldn't… then so be it. I already said it, Kuon: she needs you to be a man. You find her, and you bring her back."

She pulled her hands out of her son's, and stood, "And while you're at it, you had better marry her and start making some grandkids. I would love to have a little granddaughter who looked just like her… only, the poor little thing will probably look like you instead… mores the pity."

As much as Ren wanted to force the information out of her, he knew that his mother was right. "So… you really like her?"

Julie's eyes became soft as she heard the plea in her tall, handsome son's voice, "I like her very much, Kuon. Now follow her instructions and take all of that stuff she sent you. You've got some work to do and I hate seeing my son shirking his responsibilities like this."

After she had gone, Ren opened the end-table drawer and took out Kyoko's letter. His mother's words had leant new meaning to each line. He trusted her instincts, and his mother's soft voice set off a cadence in his tired head as he rested it back on the pillow. She loves you. She loves you. She loves you. She loves…

The rain was coming down heavily as Mayor Namuro's car pulled up to the ferry pier the next morning. Namuro was just helping Akemi with her bag when a police car pulled to a stop beside them. He looked at Keitaro as the young man climbed out of his car, and he looked over at his daughter. When she nodded, he gave her a hug, climbed back into his car, and drove away. The one-time lovers stood facing each other, oblivious of the rain that was soaking them. Finally, Keitaro stepped forward and took Akemi's suitcase out of her numb hands. "Let's step inside." She followed wordlessly until they were under shelter and then reached out to retrieve her luggage.

Keitaro allowed her to take the suitcase back, but he kept his eyes on her face. "I'm sorry for our meeting yesterday. I've missed you. This place just doesn't seem the same without you here."

As much as Akemi, a.k.a Takanami Aika, wanted to interpret his words in her favor, she knew that Keitaro wasn't giving in. He wanted to live on Ukita. She wanted to live in Tokyo. Her eyes were sad as she reached up and ran her fingers over his identification tag. "Takage Keitaro, Chief of Police; it sounds so distinguished." The ferry horn blared, and her hand dropped, "I have to go, Keitaro. I wish… well, we've been over all of that. I hope that you'll continue to do well. Please keep an eye on my parents for me." She turned, grabbed the handle on her suitcase, and walked out of the building and up the ramp. And then she was gone."

Notes: Don't hate me, please? I promise, he'll find her. The rest must wait for another chapter.

* In the scene with Ren and Julie, I wrote that it was his first time seeing her. In his mind this was true. The last time was while he was still in high-fever, so he doesn't remember.