A Lifetime Too Soon

by inappropriately-ginger

Lily and James Potter died for their son Harry on 31st October 1981 at just 21 years old. This is how the story ends – but how does it begin? A story of friendship, love, acceptance, brilliance and magic: A Lifetime Too Soon.

10. Chapter 10 A Stag in the Headlights

"Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.

These, our bodies, possessed by light.

Tell me we'll never get used to it."

-Richard Siken

—

With the sun and warm air came the looming presence of their OWLs, and following that their future outside of Hogwarts. A few weeks before the exams started Professor McGonagall announced that every Gryffindor student would be meeting with her to discuss their future prospects. This would be inform which subjects they might wish to continue into the next year, and even what they would be doing when it came to working in the real world. Most of the Gryffindors were dreading this meeting, as none of them had a clue what they wanted to do. Some people had a vague idea about something, but when they were sat listening to Alice and Frank talking about their commitment to the auror programme everyone felt shamed. The sixth years had wanted this since their first year, and they as fifth years couldn't even make up a lie about what they wanted to do.

Unwillingly, they were each called to her office at some point during the week; a process which would occur in alphabetical order. Sirius was sent for first, and had apparently expressed his will to start a day-care centre for muggle children. McGonagall had allegedly lectured him on taking his studies seriously, and how if he applied himself, there might be a chance that he may make something of his life rather than spending the rest of it in Azkaban. This he had relayed to the girls who were all curious as to what the meeting would actually entail. It hadn't helped their nerves.

Lily was next, which was a relief to her. Her own meeting was short – when Lily admitted an interest in the auror programme McGonagall congratulated her, assured her she would be brilliant for it, and advising her to continue with everything bar Divination. The thought was laughable to Lily, who wouldn't have kept Divination as a subject if it was the only way to get a job for the rest of her life. To Lily, Divination was pointless and could barely constitute as magic. After the meeting, Lily sympathised with Sirius when he had complained about the nagging questions that people kept posing to him. Mary, Marlene and Emmeline were all begging to know what McGonagall would ask them, in case they needed to make up answers beforehand.

Professor McGonagall was shocked at one particular interview. Whereas she and Remus discussed the difficulties particular to his condition, she attempted to convince Charlotte that there were better ways of surviving than marrying for money. Peter Pettigrew admitted his long term passion for Care of Magical Creatures, Marlene and Mary both had no idea what they wanted to do – Donna Shacklebolt wanted to write books, but none of this bemused her as much as the answer that James Potter gave.

"So what do you want to do with your future Potter, or need I ask?" McGonagall questioned.

"Well, there's not a lot I can't do," the boy joked cockily. "And in all honesty it's not as if I need to work – family fortunes exist for a reason, professor,"

"But where are you headed? I'm assuming Quidditch is still where your heart is?" she asked, taking minimal notes on a spare piece of parchment.

"Well, actually professor, I was wondering what one might have to take at NEWT level to be accepted into the auror training? I'm aware that Frank and Alice are headed that way, and they've encouraged me," James explained.

"Really? Potter… that's – you'd make a fine Quidditch captain, but also a fine auror," McGonagall grinned. "Though you will have to start concentrating on your work,"

"Professor, I am appalled. When have I ever seemed lax in my studies?" James laughed as the woman shot him a look of disbelief. "I know, Professor – I'll buck up,"

"And you're serious about this new direction?" McGonagall questioned.

"Deathly. Maybe one day when the war is over I'll become the captain of the Quidditch team, y'know, as a hobby – I just figured I should do my bit first," confirmed the boy. McGonagall smiled at him and opened her mouth to say something, but he interrupted her, "Just, don't tell anyone about this change of heart, right?"

She considered him. "You're a strange boy," the professor said with a tight grin. "But fine, your secret's safe with me Potter," she nodded for him to leave.

—

Remus Lupin had left his meeting with his Head of Gryffindor House feeling a strange sense of calm reasoning. Of course, being the rational boy he was 90% of the time, it was unsurprising that he'd managed to allow logic to dictate his following actions – that and the chat he'd had with Professor McGonagall. They had both known that his situation was somewhat dissimilar to his classmates, as the likelihood of him becoming an auror, a healer, or a teacher were very limited – no one would hire a werewolf. Instead they'd ignored that topic and taken to discussing his situation, and the incident that had occurred with Severus Snape.

"James, Peter and I have been distant from Sirius for a while now. My own reasoning is obvious – he betrayed my trust – I could have… the monster could have done something horrific and he didn't… seem to care. That's the part that annoyed me the most. I'm not even sure he understands that," Remus sighed. "James' own reasons are probably something to do with… I don't know. I don't understand James,"

"Me either, Mr Lupin," Professor McGonagall chuckled. "Continue,"

"Of course Lily is insistent that we forgive him. I wonder what she thinks about it all – she saw me that day, she saw the monster and… she hasn't looked at me differently at all," Remus smiled. "It's nice to know that,"

"There is nothing to see differently Remus," McGonagall commented. "And in any case, Lily Evans is a remarkably kind girl,"

"That she is – unless you're James Potter," Remus joked. "Emmeline agrees with Lily, of course – but she believes the story about Sirius telling Severus that James wanted to duel him,"

"Miss Vance is unaware of your condition?" the Professor asked.

"Of course. I know it's not a permanent thing," he stuttered sadly.

"The secrecy?" puzzled McGonagall.

"The relationship. I couldn't put someone through this – it's bad enough that James and Severus got caught in it," Remus admitted. "I can't… it's nice to pretend for these past few months, that I'm something closer to human than most would believe I am,"

"Remus…" McGonagall started.

"It's fine, Professor – I've been aware of what I am for years now," Remus smiled sadly. It was the unfortunate sadness, so undeserved of such a boy, McGonagall thought. Someone like Sirius Black himself would suit the alter ego better than Remus Lupin – he was wild, unruly, and rich enough to never have to work a day in his life – the wolf would simply be something to do every month. Remus Lupin was just a boy caught by a horrible bought of fate, who suited the role of werewolf no more than she did glamour model.

"You should consider telling Miss Vance. She and Lily are not so different, and Lily has accepted you for years," McGonagall informed him. "I think she might surprise you,"

And Remus had considered it. He'd thought through everything – the worst reactions and the best. It was only when James had skipped out of his interview telling everyone that McGonagall had informed him how to become the most famous Quidditch captain in the world did he seriously think that maybe telling Emmeline wasn't such a bad thing. They'd spent Christmas together – he'd met her family and vice versa. They had something. This was a girl who had apparently fancied him for years; surely that wouldn't change because he was unable to be with her on one day a month?

So it was that the werewolf took to waiting outside Professor McGonagall's office, whilst she interviewed the last of the Gryffindors – Emmeline Vance. He heard voices talking from within but vowed not to listen. After ten minutes, he heard the sound of a door creaking open, and Emmeline thanking their Head of House. She spotted him.

"Remus," she grinned, and lifted herself on her tip toes to kiss him on the cheek.

"Hello Emmeline, can we talk?" he asked awkwardly. The reverie in his stomach was melting away as he imagined her reaction once more. He could do this.

"Sure, is this about Sirius?" Em asked, taking his hand in hers – it was reassuring.

"Sort of…" Remus wondered how to bring it up. "You… there are things you have to know about me, and what I am, and it will be easier if you listen for a while, okay? Then you can talk, and say as much as you like, just listen, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," she nodded with a smile. "What is it?"

"Sirius didn't really tell Snape that James wanted to duel. It's just that… when my mum is ill… Severus thought that I was… every full moon, and I'm a werewolf," Remus rambled. "I was attacked as a kid, and I'm a werewolf, and barely anyone knows, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you but…"

"You're a werewolf? As in… turn into a wolf during the full moon?" Emmeline giggled. She thought it had been a joke. He stared at her willing her to understand, and eventually her face dropped and her eyes widened. Whatever she'd been expecting, this certainly wasn't it.

"Pretty much," he admitted. He stared down at her, waiting for her response.

"Wow," she exclaimed. "Wow,"

"I know it's a lot to process," Remus sighed.

"How did it happen?" she whispered, her eyes shielded from him and her face turned away.

"My father spoke out against a werewolf. I used to think… I used to think that he'd lost control, but that wasn't it. I was just a kid and he did it on purpose," Remus recalled. "It was… horrifying,"

"That's horrible!" Emmeline gasped. "How does Snape come into this?"

"He guessed – put two and two together. Sirius got mad at him for some reason, and told him where I'd be. James found out, put his own life at risk and saved Snape,"

"James hates Snape," Emmeline pondered.

"He saved him though – from me," Remus added bitterly.

"Does Lily know?" Emmeline asked quickly.

"What?" asked a shocked Remus. Was she jealous that Lily knew and not her?

"That's the day she and James fell out – they've barely spoken since – if she knew he'd saved rather than attacked Severus surely she'd forgive him?" explained the girl. There was a furrow in her brow.

"Lily knows…" Remus said quietly.

"Then why does she hate James?" Emmeline questioned. Remus had no answer to this.

"Beats me – it's James and Lily, I can't tell when they're ready for a fight or going to start making out," Remus joked which made Emmeline laugh. It loosened the tension in him.

"What did you mean… when you said James saved him?" Emmeline asked, avoiding his eyes.

"He ran to the Shrieking Shack and pushed him out of the way," Remus explained.

"Out of your way?" Emmeline confirmed. Remus nodded. "What would you have done?"

"I might've killed him. I might've mauled him. I might've turned him into a werewolf," Remus said slowly. He wanted her to accept him, but he felt it his duty to be honest.

"He was brave," Emmeline commented after a minute's silence.

"He might just be the bravest person I know," Remus said.

"Or just the stupidest," Emmeline smiled.

"I think Sirius wins that award," Remus joked.

Emmeline's face went still. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this information,"

"Erm," Remus stuttered – he'd thought she accepted it somewhat… she hadn't seemed horrified by him. He held his hand out to take hers but she pulled back momentarily.

"It's not that… I… we have fun, and everything but…" she trembled. "I can't…"

"Em," he stepped forwards, she stepped back – the old dance of fear. She was scared of what he was.

"That's where you go when you're mum's ill, isn't it?" she asked. He nodded. "You… I thought you were just worried… but you're a…"

"Please, Em…"

"Can I have some… I can't…"

"You want some time?" Remus asked. "Anything, Em…"

"I'm going to go… and… think," Emmeline stumbled. She turned away from him without looking at him, leaving him alone in the end of the corridor watching her run away – pale and shocked.

He fell down to the floor. The monster had done it again. He'd convinced himself that she might have acted like Lily or James – he hadn't realised how much he thought that she wouldn't care until he watched her rush around the corner, panic in her eyes. There was something about the hope he had held that ripped a hole in his heart open more so than he had ever felt before. He'd thought she would accept him, but he'd been kidding himself.

How long he sat there, head in hands, he didn't know. At some point he had considered chasing her and obliviating her memory – he'd considered running into the Forbidden Forest and living there with Hagrid – he wanted to find James or Lily and have them convince him that he wasn't a monster. That somewhere inside of him was simply a disease that made him different for one night. He needed the confirmation of his humanity, and at that minute he'd have taken it from anyone.

"Remus?" a confusingly familiar voice asked with worry in it. It was a voice he hadn't heard properly in over a month. Footsteps rushed forwards, and when Remus looked up he saw the sad face of Sirius Black. "Are you okay, Remus?"

"I told Em," Remus confessed, not caring that Sirius had betrayed him. He'd betrayed himself – he'd done the exact thing Sirius had and told someone his secret. In that minute Remus needed his friend. "I told Emmeline what I am,"

"Oh Merlin, Mooney! I'm assuming it didn't go too well?" Sirius asked, falling against the wall beside his estranged friend.

"Oh it went superbly – I like to celebrate by having mild panic attacks against corridor walls," Remus snapped sarcastically; the rational boy was ebbed away.

"Did she tell you where to stick it?" Sirius asked. Normally he would have found the boy's abrasive and blunt ways to be rude, but there was something so familiar about the friendly jibes that Remus had missed. James hadn't been acting like himself at all since the incident, and Remus needed the humour.

"She ran away," he admitted. "She couldn't even bare to touch me,"

"Bitch!" Sirius exclaimed.

"That's your cousin," Remus pointed out.

"Then she should bloody well know not to judge people on their blood," Sirius complained. "She doesn't confirm anything, alright mate?"

"What?" stuttered the boy.

"Just because you love her, and you've wanted to be with her for years, and she makes you happy – those things don't mean that she determines what makes you good and what makes you a monster," Sirius informed the other boy. "If she knew you as well as me and Pron… Potter, then she'd know. You know the man you truly are, Remus! This heart is where you truly live! This heart! Here! This flesh is only flesh!"

"That sounds familiar…" Remus pondered.

"It's what James and I say to you when you're… furry," Sirius admitted.

"Ah," he sighed. "She hates me,"

"No she doesn't – she just…" Sirius started.

"I think she does. You should've seen it – the look in her eye – you can't imagine what it's like to be thought of a monster by someone you love," Remus stuttered.

"Don't I?" Sirius spat. Remus looked at the other boy – he was thinner than normal, paler too. His handsome exterior had faded with the humour that was lost with James. Neither boy was right without the other.

"Sirius…" Remus started.

"No, don't Remus. It's not your fault. It's mine. That and the fact that James is stubborn as a mule," Sirius sighed.

"Stag, stubborn as a stag," Remus laughed.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said. "Sincerely, I know what it would have cost you to have harmed Snape,"

"Or Lily – she was there too," Remus said. "I'd rather die than hurt my friends, you know that Sirius,"

"I know – but… the things he was saying, about Lily, you and James, Regulus…" Sirius started. "It broke me,"

"It's okay…" Remus said with a sigh. He was surprised that he actually believed what he was about to say. "I… I don't think I'm angry anymore,"

"James is," Sirius sighed dully.

"Unfortunately," Remus agreed.

"How's Peter?" Sirius asked. He hadn't been able to speak with the boy as James was around both he and Remus at all times.

"He's good – I think he misses you," Remus said. "He keeps bringing you up – James snaps at him and storms away but…"

"He's like a well-trained pet," Sirius remarked.

"We all are, really," Remus laughed. "Except maybe Prongs – I don't think a pet stag would be very convenient,"

"And he's not well trained," Sirius added. Remus chuckled. Both boys went silent.

"Things'll settle down," Remus assured him finally.

"You sound like Lily," Sirius laughed.

"That must be a compliment," Remus said with a smile. "By the way, why do she and James hate each other so much?"

"I don't think they do… I actually don't know what's going on with those two. One minute they're sneaking off to Hogsmeade for a date, the next he's shouting at her and telling her to jump off the astronomy tower," Sirius mused. "How're you, though?"

"Fine – I think the shock wore off a bit. Or at least enough that I am able to wonder why I was in shock at all," he shrugged.

"Because no one should treat you like that, Remus – I'm mad at her," Sirius vowed.

"She's one of the only people in Gryffindor who will talk to you and you're going to stop talking to her?" Remus joked incredulously. It actually meant a lot to him the Sirius looked at him as if to say 'of course'.

"Hey, if I'm really alone maybe Potter will take pity on me" Sirius joked, holding out his hand to haul Remus to his feet.

—

Lily was dropping her books off in her dormitory before dinner when she was greeted by desperate crying inside. It took her a moment to work out which of the beds the sobbing was coming from, because whoever it was was curled up under their duvets, invisible to the human eye.

"Lil!" Emmeline shrieked at her entry.

"Emmie, what's up?" Lily asked, throwing her bag to the floor and launching onto her friends' bed with comforting hugs.

"Remus… told me…" Emmeline sobbed in Lily's arms, her whole body trembling with the tears.

"That he loved you? Didn't he do that ages ago?" Lily pondered, certain they'd overcome her initial fears of commitment months ago.

"He told me that he's a werewolf," Emmeline finally hissed between sobs. Lily stopped rubbing her friends shoulder and dropped her arm.

"Oh," Lily said. "And that's bad?"

"Of course it's bad Lily! He kills people!" Emmeline sobbed. "He could've killed Snape!"

"He doesn't kill people Emmeline. It's Remus! He can't even defend against nargles without feeling sorry for them!" Lily exclaimed. "And that whole thing with Severus wasn't his fault…"

"You knew the whole time!" Emmeline rounded on Lily now, all of her tears turning to rage. "You knew and you never told me that my boyfriend was a monster!"

Lily flinched.

"Excuse me?" she asked coldly.

"What?" Emmeline replied with venom in her voice.

"Remus Lupin is nothing of the sort. He is a fine human being, a lovely person, and someone that was unfortunately caught by an act of hatred," Lily said strongly. "He is not a monster,"

"He's not human!" Emmeline shouted.

"Apparently he is more so than you!" Lily bellowed in reply. "I never thought you were the kind of person to judge someone based on their blood,"

"That's not blood! That's… that's a disaster," Emmeline screamed. "I've been kissing him- he probably ate animals with that mouth,"

"Of course he did! He's not a bloody vegetarian and nor are you! Just because once a month he likes his steak raw, doesn't mean you can get all brutish!"

"Me? Brutish? Coming from the girl who plays guys along like she's in a slag-orchestra!" Emmeline shouted.

"At least I accept the people I love for who they are!" Lily retorted. Anger was rising in her, and as a result she was shaking from head to foot.

"Hardly! You're always yelling at Potter for hexing people or being funny," the girl yelled.

"Some of the stuff he does isn't funny! It's cruel!" Lily spat.

"Unlike Snape, Right? Snape can't do any wrong – even if it is dark magic and he's terrorising the school! You're just too stubborn to admit you were bloody wrong about him," Emmeline shouted. There was a crashing and the sound of a door opening. Mary walked in.

"What in the name of Diagon Alley is going on in here?" Mary demanded.

"Emmeline is dumping Remus, because she disagrees with his blood," Lily explained harshly. Emmeline recoiled.

"What, is this true, Em?" Mary asked.

"Oh yeah – all the time we thought she was nothing like that family of hers, but here it is: she's a Black through and through!" Lily shouted. Rage was within her so deep that she wasn't sure she was even controlling her mouth anymore. Emmeline had insulted her, Severus and worst of all, Remus. Looking down at the weeping mess on the bed, Lily wondered where she'd gone wrong.

"Who are you to talk to me about family, Evans? Yours are muggles who hate you!" Emmeline shouted. Mary jumped backwards.

"Em! Don't say that…"

"Why not? It's true!" Emmeline snapped. "She gets one hurtful letter from her sister and she's off crying. Probably just so Potter will pay attention to her,"

"Emmeline, that's really out of order," Mary said. "I know you're upset but…"

"I don't care! Bugger you all, if this is the way you're going to be!" Emmeline said, drying her eyes with the sides of her hands. She stood up and glared at Lily. Lily, who was now somewhat taller than the other girl, didn't find this very threatening at all. After all, Lily had taken on Lestat Rosier and lived to tell the tale. Emmeline stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

The minute the door was shut tears burst from Lily's eyes. She wished they didn't, but they streamed and streamed. Mary rushed over to her and held her tightly, telling her that it'd all be okay, and that Emmeline would calm down and apologize. But in that moment Lily could honestly say she didn't want her to. She wanted to stay mad at the girl forever. How could she forgive anyone that could be so cruel about Remus, call her a slag, and insult her family?

Lily fell asleep that night not caring that Emmeline had yet to come into the dorm. She could sleep in the corridor for all Lily cared - or better yet, transfer into Slytherin where she belonged. A thousand thoughts swam through her head, about Remus and Severus and James but each time Lily was dragged back to the image of Emmeline's face yelling at her.

—

A week had passed since Lily and Mary (also Marlene, who didn't know why, but was angry at her out of principle) had spoken to Emmeline. As a result of which, the girl had started to hang around with Charlotte Parkinson. The pair had become almost inseparable – they both glared at Lily at every opportunity, not missing any chance to whisper loudly about her when she was around. Mostly it was just pathetic stuff such as "Ponytails are so ugly – they make her look like a horse," but stretching to crueller insults regarding her relationship with Sirius and James.

The boys' relationships weren't much better. Remus had forgiven Sirius, and had done his best to talk James into doing the same thing, but that just made James even more angry. Between James and Sirius fighting and Remus' breakup with Emmeline, their dorm had fallen to silence. It was only Peter now making conversation with each boy separately as they sat in their beds in silence.

"It's really that bad?" Lily asked Remus as he told her about the whole thing. They were walking the fourth floor on Prefect Duty. They hadn't bumped into anyone for over an hour, and had worn out conversations which didn't make either of them miserable.

Remus nodded. "How about you?"

"Well, our dorm is quite a lot louder than that. Sadly, most of that is Emmeline and Charlotte saying horrid things about me as I try to read," Lily sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry you lost your best friend because of me," Remus said.

"Remus, it's not about you – the fact that she insulted you was awful, but it wasn't the reason that I was angry at her. The fact that she would judge someone based on that – and yet thinks the word mudblood is awful. It's hypocrisy and it's awful. You're a fantastic person, and she obviously isn't in her right state of mind," Lily informed the boy.

"I like that how even when she's insulted everything important to you, you still refuse to call her a bitch," Remus laughed. "It's admirable,"

"Why would I?" Lily asked.

"Because she's a bitch," Remus shrugged. Lily actually laughed.

"She never has been before – I'm just… hurt that she used all that stuff against me. She used the vulnerabilities that I trusted her with to make me feel bad. Friends don't do that, Remus," sighed Lily.

"There's no hope for you two?" he asked kindly as they turned the corner to see another empty corridor.

"None. We're past the point of forgiveness. What about Sirius and Potter?" inquired Lily.

"I'm not even sure why James is still mad," admitted the boy.

"Really?" Lily asked of him incredulously. Remus looked at her.

"You do?"

"It's not hard to work out – Sherlock Holmes phase, remember?" Lily laughed, Remus joined in.

"Enlighten me, Mr Holmes," he instructed. Lily took a breath.

"James, for better or for worse, has killed someone. He knows what that feeling is like, and he has to live with it forever," Lily mused. "In his mind, his one saving grace was that he didn't surround himself with people that would so easily kill someone,"

Remus considered her.

"You're quite the expert on our James," she said finally. Thankfully he wasn't looking at her, which allowed her to hide a blush. "So why's he mad with you?"

For all of her sleepless nights trying to work out everything that had happened that night, Lily had never found an answer to Remus' question. She shrugged, trying desperately hard not to look as downtrodden as she felt.

"Assuming there's no huge fight I missed the memo on, I have a theory" Remus said. Lily raised an eyebrow at him to continue. "James has never been one to really think about the reprecutions of his actions - let's face it, someone like James barely has to. His whole frolicking with me in the forest was stupid but it felt good and there were never any consequences to his stupidity. Then after everything happened, he realised that there are consequences to something like this. If Snape had gotten hurt, that would have killed you, and it certainly would've killed any chance he had with you. If you'd have gotten hurt-. I think James finally realised that his actions can have reprecutions, and it's not always going to be him that has to deal with them,"

It was Lily's turn for silence now. They decended the stairs and began to patrol the third floor, all the while Lily could've run into a hippogriff out of bed after hours and she wouldn't have noticed.

"You're forgetting one thing," she said eventually. Remus was startled, but nodded her on. "You say he realised that he can actually hurt people?"

"Yes, I think so,"

"Then why is he trying so hard to hurt me?" even she couldn't pretend she hadn't heard the break in her voice.

Remus took Lily's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Maybe he's trying to keep you away," Remus suggested. "Keep you safe,"

"You boys are totally backwards," Lily laughed, wiping the wet from her eyes with her palm. "Sirius is really happy to have you, Remus,"

"You too," Remus said, sadly. "We're no James though,"

"No, I don't suppose we are. They were practically brothers," Lily said.

"You have no idea – they spend every holiday together, Christmas together every year," Remus told her.

"What're they going to do if they don't become friends?" Lily exclaimed.

"Santa will just kill them both," Remus snorted a laugh.

"I'm not sure that's Santa's job, Remus," Lily said sternly.

"I didn't grow up with your muggle tales. To me, Santa was a mass murderer who sent people the heads of his victims," Remus joked – it was strange seeing the boy do such a thing. It was such a James thing to say; a kind of humour he'd obviously picked up from being a Marauder for so long.

"You're making that up," Lily accused, though not wholly certain.

"Was it that obvious?" Remus gasped dramatically.

"You lost me at mass murderer," Lily laughed. Remus smiled at her again.

"Eleven – time to head back to the common room!" Remus sang as he checked his watch and hauled Lily towards their Common Room.

—

Ophelia Finnley had grown substantially in the year Lily had known her. Of course, not literally, because the girl had the ability to change her appearance at will, and did so often, much to the amusment and confusion of her friends. Mentally, she had grown to harness and control her power, losing her calm only in desperately horrid situations. When she had found about what Emmeline had said to Lily she had threatened to make the girl feel so guilty she would come begging on her knees, but Lily had denied. Instead they turned to gossip about Sirius and James.

According to the second year, James felt wretched whenever Sirius was around, and Sirius felt guilty. One suggestion to make them friends was for her to morph into each of the boys and have one apologize to the other. Lily pointed out that this would never work, because they knew each other so well, any change in appearance wouldn't go unnoticed – and the eyes were a big thing. They went back to brainstorming. Lily thought they could just knock them out and lock them in a room together, but Ophelia realised that it was probably against school policy to randomly knock people out; even if it was for their own good.

The stroke of genius came when Ophelia morphed herself a black eye and bloody lip one lunch time to amuse Marlene. Lily jumped up, the plan formulating in her head as she did so. With a hurried whisper she explained her plan to the second year.

"It's okay because we'll only be drugging someone. Drugging someone is better than whacking them over the head!" Ophelia exclaimed, as she and Lily sweated over the cauldron later that night.

"A dash of peppermint!" Lily ordered, dropping the leaf that the younger girl handed to her into the bubbling liquid. "And we're done!"

"That quickly?" Ophelia asked, shocked. "No wonder Slughorn loves you,"

"You have the vial?"

"Here," Ophelia said, handing her the glass bottle. Lily carefully poured the potion into the vial and stoppered it with a cork.

"Fantastic!"

"How are we going to get him to take it?" Ophelia asked naively and Lily laughed out loud.

"Did you ever hear the phrase "the way to knock a man out is by slipping a sleeping potion into his sandwich"? It's not very catchy…" Lily said, removing a chicken baguette from her bag and dripping a few drops of the potion onto the chicken. "He only needs to be out for about ten minutes,"

Fortunately, when handling matters of the stomach, there was no need for Lily to be subtle with Sirius Black. Walking up to him after their last lesson of the day, she went to go and take a bite of the spiked sandwich, but he ripped it from her hands and took a bite the destroyed half of it.

"Oi!" she said. "You can't just eat my-" but she stopped talking as soon as he dropped down, seemingly dead, on the floor. She was glad everyone had rushed down to the Great Hall for dinner. "-sleeping potion, booya!" she congratulated herself, and proceeded to place a disillusionment charm over him so that she was able to levitate him to down the short corridor, without the portraits muttering too judgementally.

Ophelia was waiting with a grin. She watched as Lily removed the disillusionment charm, and got creative with a slew of illusion-charms that would make Sirius appear brutally beaten. None of the charms would actually hurt him, but it gave the look of it. Quickly, they disappeared into a disused classroom and waited for James to get the firemessage Lily had sent just five minutes earlier.

They heard him sprinting down the corridor, shouting "Lily?" and sounding genuinley worried. She tried not to feel too bad about it as she pressed her ear against the door, but her stomach squirmed guiltily.

—

James tore through the corridors, pushing past the students slowly making their way to dinner. The second James had seen the letter, he'd known something was wrong, and his heart had been hammering in his chest before his legs could drag himself on to catch it from the air. He barely read the first line before sprinting off out of the Dining Hall. As he rounded the corner, his heart stopped in his throat.

Sirius was slumped against the floor - there was blood trickling down the side of his mouth and nose – his eye was swollen and purple, and there was a nasty gash running down his normally handsome face. James' legs buckled as he fell down beside Sirius, and pulled his body into him. He rooted around his throat for a pulse, which was strong, and was careful not to hurt him anymore.

"Sirius, mate, wake up," he begged, before remembering his wand. "Renervate,"

Sirius seemed to jolt awake with a start, sitting up quickly and nearly butting James in the head. His eyes peeled open slowly, and then very widely when he saw James.

"James?" Sirius asked meekly.

"What happened?" James demanded. "Was it Snivellus? I'll bloody well-"

"What do you mean?" Sirius questioned, looking genuinley confused.

James pulled the two way mirror out of his robe pocket and pointed it at the other boy. Sirius took the mirror and stared into it. "What? I have no idea- I can't feel a thing,"

"I got a message saying…" James stopped. "Evans. She's clever – I thought something had happened, and I saw you there…" James rambled. "I… she's more clever than I give her credit for,"

Suddenly, the last few weeks returned to James and he felt distantly uncomfortable being so close to Sirius. He moved back, only slightly, but Sirius noticed and flinched. It was the first time he'd looked in pain since James arrived.

"Care to explain?" Sirius asked, sitting up. James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Sirius' face. At first, Sirius looked as though he thought James was going to hex him.

"Finite incantatem," James said, and as expected, all illusion of bruises disappeared instantly. James showed Sirius his reflection once more. "Evans tricked me,"

"Why?" Sirius asked, leaning against the wall now. James was doing the same thing across the corridor from him. Neither of them looked at the other.

"To get us to talk to each other, I guess," James explained. Sirius stayed silent.

"You carry the mirror around with you?" Sirius asked finally.

"We promised we always would," was all he said.

"Mine's been in my trunk since January," Sirius admitted.

"Fiend," James gasped, though his heart wasn't really in the anger.

"I didn't think you'd want to talk to me," he explained.

"And what if you really had been beaten to a pulp? Who would've saved your stupid neck?" James demanded.

"Sorry, I forget you're the big hero now," Sirius said bitterly, which pissed James off.

"Padfoot – stop it," James ordered.

"Why are you here?" Sirius asked harshly.

"Lily sent me a message telling me to get here at once," James said. "I thought something had happened,"

"I thought you were mad with her too?" Sirius demanded.

"I'm not – I just…," James sighed. "I'm not mad at her,"

"Glad we cleared that up," Sirius grunted. "And that's not what I meant,"

"What?"

"I meant: why are you still here? I'm not hurt – you can go if you want to," Sirius told him.

James stared at the other boy. He could go if he wanted. He was free to hunt down Lily and yell at her for meddling in things which weren't her business, or go down to dinner and forget the whole thing. But James didn't want that. He was too tired, and even if he wasn't completely sure this conversation wouldn't end in a physical fight, at least he was talking to Sirius.

"Remus told me you were sorry. He's forgiven you. He's the one who you betrayed. I should be able to forgive you," James said resentfully.

"But you can't," Sirius finished for him.

"Exactly, and I don't know why," he muttered. "I can't… I thought you were different,"

"I am! I'm not that guy," Sirius vowed. James ran both of his hands through his hair. "I know this doesn't excuse what I did, but you should have heard the things he was saying. It was nothing more than a stupid rise to Snivellus,"

"I don't know what to believe anymore," James admitted. The past few weeks had flipped everything. "Lily and Emmeline falling out – Remus and Emmeline breaking up – Fulton apparently felt Lottie up," James laughed. "Slut,"

"She misses you," Sirius said.

"Obviously not if she's letting Fulton feel her up!" James scoffed.

"Not Lottie – Lily. She doesn't like to admit it, but she does," Sirius said with a shrug. "I can tell – the way she'll start every conversation with me asking if we've made up yet – how she'll recall word for word how you insulted her that day, often with teary eyes might I add, not cool. She spends the beginning of every class staring at your empty seat and then by the time you arrive she looks anywhere but there. She can't summon a corporeal patronus during her defence sessions at the moment,"

James stared at Sirius wondering if any of it was true. Even if half of it was, James felt sick. He'd been trying to push her away, not make her cry.

"She doesn't…" James stuttered.

"She does," Sirius disagreed. "I would say you've lost your chance,"

"But you won't?" James asked, suddenly feeling very small.

"No,"

"Why not?"

"Because she's been hiding behind that door for this entire conversation and she let me say all of that without hexing me once," Sirius said with a tone of humour in his voice.

"Sirius!" James heard Lily's voice yelling distantly. "You ruined it!"

In a second, the door to Sirius' left fell open, and Lily and Ophelia stormed out, with the former girl sliding down the wall beside Sirius with a glare.

"How did you know she was there?" James questioned.

"She'd want to see our teary reunion," Sirius grinned. "I know her,"

"Yup – and so far no tears, and no reunion!" Ophelia complained loudly.

"Hey Fin," James greeted. "I should've known you'd be here too,"

"Hey James," Ophelia said happily. "Be friends already! I know for a fact that you both want to,"

"It's not a case of not wanting to," James started.

"Why not? Why can't it be that simple?" Lily asked. He looked up at her now. She was looking determinedly at Sirius.

"You tell me, Lily," it was the first non-insulting thing he'd said to her in a month her knew. Finally her eyes turned to meet his. "Remus says you've got it all figured out,"

"You're scared to forgive him because he betrayed you and everything you believe in," Lily said, not looking away from him. "You're worried because you know there's very little you wouldn't forgive him for,"

"If you had been hurt that night…." James said, his heart sinking at the thought.

"But I wasn't,"

"Another time…" James started.

"I can protect myself James, I'm not Charlotte. I don't need someone to be my bodyguard," Lily told him. "Sirius screwed up big time, but that doesn't mean forgiving him is a bad idea,"

"Severus-" he began,

"Severus made his own mistakes," Lily said. James was shocked to hear Lily say it. "James, forgiving him doesn't mean you condone his actions. It means you trust him not to do that again,"

"And can I?" he turned to Sirius now.

"Of course you can," Sirius said.

"He really believes what he's saying, if that helps," Ophelia piped up. "He's genuinley sorry,"

James stared down at his hands. Lily was right, of course. She seemed to see all the places that he was scared and confused, and understood them without a thought. That was the scariest thing of all.

"Don't make me regret this," James growled finally.

"Are you for real?" Sirius said, his eyes lit up like a puppy. "Prongs, mate I promise I'll never do something this stupid again,"

James stood up, and Sirius followed suit. They stood awkwardly in front of one another for a second before James pulled him in for a hug. The tension melted from Sirius instantly.

"See! Was it really that hard?" Lily demanded. James offered her his hand to help her stand. She took it with a thank you.

"Excruciating," James said. "I'm not a big hugger,"

—

The weeks passed quickly as everyone panicked about their upcoming exams. The fifth years could be seen spending their time either in the library or behind a book in the Common Room, seething at any younger students who dared to make a noise. Even gossiping had been put on hold, so no one seemed to care that Emmeline was now going out with Montague Knightley, and that they were caught by some prefects doing unhygienic things in the broom cupboard.

The Marauders (bar Remus) had decided to make full use of their new found friendship by going around and trying to distract as many people as possible in the most amusing ways. At first this included Peter turning into a rat and running around scaring girls, but eventually evolved into James using a spell to wipe all their revision books free of any words. Enraged, Lily had threatened to report him to McGonagall and he was forced to return the books back to their usual valour.

The more they needed to revise, the sunnier it got – it was the curse of the examination period. Some people took their books outside, to lounge about next to the lake whilst trying to list the different uses for dragon's blood, but Lily and Severus preferred the cool confines of the library. Marlene and Mary were with them – they insisted that if they were revising on their own they wouldn't learn anything, and used the pair as motivators, knowing if they did anything but revising Lily would be down their necks. No one wanted to get on the wrong side of Lily around the exam time – they had learnt as much in the first year.

By the time the exams started, even James and Sirius could be seen buckling down and removing at least one book from their previously untouched bags every night. With each passing day, the fifth years would crowd around the Great Hall, take their seats inside, and spend two hours scribbling with specially supplied quills. In Transfiguration they had to write about the side effects of human transfiguration – particularly animagi – and practically demonstrate a number of things from turning a rat into a cup, to turning a coat hanger into a coat. For Potions they were locked inside the dungeons and told to produce a Sleeping Draught, which Lily had recent experience in, and then write down the poisons and their antidotes, the ingredients needed for Amortenia and Felix Felicis, and to write down the effects of Draught of the Living Dead. Divination they had to sit with a crystal ball and hope the light caught it in such a way that their imagination would spur some story about their own brutal death, and Ancient Runes they were to translate four pages of inscriptions. In Charms Lily had excelled by writing 18 pages of theory and gaining extra marks in her practical by turning herself blue at the end of it. The exams passed and everyone was feeling relieved when it came to the last two: Defensive – Practical, and Defensive – Theory.

One by one they were lead into the Great Hall where the examiners were milling around. They would ask you to demonstrate certain pieces of magic and grade you on the quickness of the spell casting, the strength of the spell, and the clarity of their spoken magic. Lily was unnaturally not nervous – throughout her other exams she'd been scared before entering the hall, but now she was calm. She'd been practising Defensive magic for a year now to a quality in which she was able to protect herself against dark magic. Exams were going to be a breeze.

"Hello Miss Evans," her examiner said smiling. He was a small wizard, who rivalled the stature of Professor Flitwick. He had a short brown beard, which was shaped like an arrow head. His hair was about the length of Sirius', though it suited him much better than the younger boy. The wizard grinned reassuringly at her. "No need to be nervous!" he told her. "Right then – in this crate is a boggart. I want you to tackle it," Lily nodded.

The wizard twitched his wand and the lid to the crate lifted. Out of the box came a tall figure, with dark hair, a handsome face, and his wand pointed towards her. She knew the face – it had been in the papers, on all of the wanted posters. Lily hadn't even realised who stood before her before she shouted the counter curse at him, and turned him from the darkest wizard of all time into Lord Voldemort wearing a pair of Mary's bright red boots, a mini skirt she recognized as Donna's, and a crop top that belonged to Charlotte. The man looked around at the group who laughed at him and started squirming. The examiner grinned and let the boggart back in its box.

"Well done!" he chuckled. "I admit that I never thought I'd see He Who Must Not Be Named in brigt red boots," Lily then continued to do a range of other magic that they had been covering in class, disappointed that she was unable to show off her more advanced magic, until the examiner smiled at her. "Perfect! All around perfect. There's not anything else you want to show me? We had one boy produce a patronus earlier,"

"I can do a patronus," Lily said quickly, then cursed herself immedaitely. She hadn't successfully produced a full one in months! He clapped and told her to do so. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them. James had just entered the room. He was walking past her when he smiled and dropped his eyes from her. Christmas Day, she thought, letting the image of James sleeping beside her flood her system. "Expecto Patronum," and there she was – the doe. She galloped around the examiner, nudging him with her head. Lily sent her into the wall where she disappeared with a flutter. When she looked up Lily saw a number of examiners looking at her – behind them was James. He grinned at her.

"Fantastic! Just brilliant!" the man cheered. Lily was asked to leave the room, where she waited patiently for Mary and Marlene. The former of which came out happily, congratulating Lily on her patronus, and they waited for the latter. Marlene rushed out, red in the face and tears in her eyes. The pair rushed over to their friend.

"I mixed up stupefy and renervate! My examiner ended up falling into the boggart case!" she cried.

James came out a few minutes later, flashing Lily a warm smile before walking off to find the rest of the Marauders.

The theory exam was the last one of the year. As with the rest of them, they were led into the Great Hall, where the four house tables were gone. Instead, there were more than a hundred of smaller tables, all facing the same way. They were each seated in their designated places, where they were handed parchment and quills. Lily could see Severus across the room and shot him an encouraging smile. James was somewhere behind her. Someone told them to start, and Lily opened her question booklet.

What spell would you use to disarm your opponent? Name its incantation and practical application.

The only sound was the scratching of quills and the occasional rustle as somebody adjusted their parchment. Lily was one of the more vigorous scribblers – her handwriting had been sacrificed a long time ago in the name of writing as much as possible. Sunshine was streaming through the high windows onto the bent heads, which shone chestnut and copper and gold in the bright light.

Lily looked over to Snape – his nose was practically touching the table, and he'd written about a foot more than his neighbour (Pricilla Stangroom) and about a paragraph more than herself. She returned to her own paper and took off where she'd left it.

"Five more minutes!" someone called from the front of the room – it was the examiner she'd had for her practical. He was grinning still. Professor Flitwick was near the man, and walked past him and up and down the aisles.

—

James straightened up and dropped his quill. He pulled his parchment towards him he read what he had written – a pretty good mark was deserved, he thought to himself proudly. And he'd finished way before Snivellus and Lily. She was still in front of him, her head hunched over her table, her hair pushed back, out of her face.

James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance towards Professor Flitwick who was distracted staring towards Carrow and Dawlish, he turned in his seat and grinned at a boy sitting four seats behind him. The people around him glared his way, but Sirius gave James a thumbs-up in return. The boy was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was much healthier looking now, James noted; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance his could never have achieved. James winked at the girl sitting behind his friend, who was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn't seem to have noticed. Two seats along from this girl was Remus, who was still as studious looking as Lily and Snivellus. He looked rather pale and peaky, as the full moon fast approached, and was absorbed in the exam: as he reread his answers, he scratched his chin with the end of his quill, frowning slightly. He caught James' grin and returned it.

Wormtail looked anxious; he was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffing the ground with his toes. Every now and then he glanced hopefully at his neighbour's paper. James laughed and turned his face back to the front of the hall. He looked at Lily's head. James was now doodling on a bit of scrap parchment. He had drawn a Snitch and was now tracing the letters 'L.E.' as he did with most of his notes. He'd barely been able to get rid of the mental image of her proudly casting her patronus, and how her eyes had met his. He spotted the clock and instantly crossed out the doodles in the margins – mainly her initials.

"Quills down please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick as the minute hand struck the hour. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!"

Over a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backwards off his feet. Several people laughed; James included. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows and lifted him back onto his feet.

"Thank you, thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

James stuffed his quill and the exam paper into his bag, which he slung over his back, and stood waiting for Sirius to join him. He looked around and glimpsed Snape a short way away, moving between the tables towards the doors of the Entrance Hall, still absorbed in his own exam paper. Round-shouldered, yet angular, he walked in a twitchy manner, that recalled a spider, and his oily hair was jumping about his face.

Charlotte, Emmeline and their gang of chattering girls separated Snape from James, Sirius and Lupin. Once they all joined together they started recalling the exam.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius, as they emerged into the Entrance Hall. Sirius grinned wolfishly.

"Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.

"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."

Peter was the only one who didn't laugh.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else –"

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "You run around with a werewolf once a month –"

"Keep your voice down," implored Lupin. There was a large group of happy exam-free students around them.

James and his three friends strode off down the lawn towards the lake, Snape followed, still poring over the exam paper and apparently with no fixed idea of where he was going. Lily, Mary and Marlene were joining the throng of students as they filled down to the lake, to enjoy their first day of stress-free sunlight.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said. "I'll be surprised if I don't get "Outstanding" on it at least."

"Me too," said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch. He'd stolen it last week at Quidditch practise as a way to distract him from everyone (particularly Remus) who was stressing out about the exams.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it," James said casually. He started playing with the snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Peter watched him in awe. The four Marauders were back together, and there was a kind of stillness that came from the peace of it.

They stopped in the shade of the very same beech tree on the edge of the lake near where Snape had settled himself on the grass in the dense shadow of a clump of bushes. He was as deeply immersed in the OWL paper as ever, which amused the Marauders to no end. The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who had just left the Great Hall were sitting, with their shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water. Lily, Marlene and Mary sat away from them – ignoring their taunts.

Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored. James was still playing with the snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed it at the last second. Peter was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded. After five minutes of this, James found the hooting annoying, but focusing on the snitch kept his mind off Lily.

"Put that away, will you?" said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer, "before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."

Wormtail turned slightly pink, but James grinned.

"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing the snitch back in his pocket. Normally he wouldn't have, but their new found friendship was still a bit rocky in places – something which only time could cure. To avoid an argument James stopped, but his hands suddenly itched for something to do.

"I'm bored" said Sirius. "Wish it was full moon."

"You might," said Lupin darkly from behind his book. "I still have Arithmancy, if you're bored you could test me. Here" and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. "You don't need to look at that rubbish, you know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is"

Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

"Excellent," he said softly. "Snivellus."

Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing the OWL paper in his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up.

Lupin and Wormtail remained sitting: Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows; Wormtail was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

"All right Snivellus?" said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"Impedimenta!" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained. Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James. Their hatred for Snape had only increased since their renewed friendship – he was after all, the one who had ruined it all.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed; the chattering girls especially.

Wormtail sniggered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, "you - wait!"

'Wait for what?' said Sirius coolly. 'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'

Snape let out a scream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "Scourgify!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -

"Leave him ALONE!" a voice shouted. James' heart pounded.

He and Sirius looked round. James's free hand immediately jumped to his hair.

"All right, Evans?" said James casually, as though he didn't have Snape at the end of his wand.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. The look in her eyes he'd seen earlier that day had disappeared. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate the point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean,"

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly, and he felt stupid before he'd even said it. Something about him wanted to punish Snape so badly that his mouth was speaking of its own accord. "Go on - go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. "OI!"

But it was too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Wormtail roared with laughter.

Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape kneeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily, knowing the damage she could do to them.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" he spat.

Lily stopped.

"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

"Apologise to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. Every hex James had never dared to use flew through his brain.

"I don't want you to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd never call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me sick,"

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him. More than anything he wanted to run after her, but he'd never seen her look at him like that.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius cooly.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right –"

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" there was a roar of agreement.

—

Lily ran straight to her dormitory. Mary and Marlene were right behind her, having witnessed the event from the side of the lake. Neither said a word to each other, but they exchanged worried looks the whole sprint up to the Common Room. As terrible as the rumours about Snape got, they'd never thought he would say something like that to Lily. When they reached her in the dormitory she was sat motionless, no tears, nothing. They approached the bed slowly.

"Lil?" Mary called softly as she sat gently at the bottom of the bed. "You okay?"

"Mare…" Marlene warned, noticing the hard set of Lily's brow. It was the look she had when she was thinking really, really hard, and Marlene suspected that there was no chance she could even hear them. Mary nodded.

All evening she lay there, not talking to anyone, fully clothed on her bed, as all of her friends sat around her bed, attempting to make her talk. She was having none of it – she simply sat against the headboard and let her eyes scan the copy of Pride and Prejudice that James had given her three years previously. Not taking any of it in, her mind was replaying the incident over and over. How she'd spotted them fighting – how Snape had tried to attack James – how the boy had been too quick for him – how she'd jumped to his rescue – how he'd called her a…

"He's waiting for you outside the common room," Marlene said as she came back into the dormitory. "He says he won't leave until you go and see him,"

"Let him stay there," Lily said. She knew all of her friends were expecting her to burst into tears. No one but Mary and Marlene had been up to the dorm, so it seemed that even Charlotte, Donna and Emmeline were keeping their distance. The fact of the matter was that she wasn't surprised. It had finally happened, and hearing it out there, even if it had been in front of all of her friends and classmates, meant that the drawn out process of pretending could finally be over.

Severus had betrayed her.

"I think Potter might have gone to hex him for you, you might want to stop that?" Marlene suggested.

"He doesn't need my help," was all she said as she returned to her book. Lily saw Marlene's eyes fall upon the bin where she'd thrown the enchanted flower. She didn't need it now.

—

James swore.

"He thinks I won't tell her!" he exclaimed to Sirius loudly as he re-entered the common room for the fifth time that night. "He thinks I'm too coward to tell her the truth,"

"The truth being?" Sirius questioned. He'd settled himself to a long evening of Snape and Lily yelling, but curiously enough James hadn't said a word about Lily until now.

"About what happened last year. Or have you forgotten how he almost killed me, or how he attacked Ophelia and they both ended up in the Hospital Wing? I certainly haven't. I'm going to tell her!" James stood up again.

"No you're not," Remus' voice reasoned from the corner. James sat down.

"You're right… it'd kill her," he sighed. The boy was seething and Sirius wondered if part of it was guilt for being the reason the whole thing had happened. But Severus had ruined the Marauders' friendship - Sirius didn't feel bad at all. "I really want to hurt him. There was only ever one good thing about him and that was that at least he was nice to Lily. And now he's done this? I thought he'd learnt his bloody lesson-"

"Is he still out there?" a small voice came from the top of the dorm stairs. James' head shot to her like a homing beacon, and Sirius saw the eager

"I'd hope so. Else he can't even keep his lousy word!" James muttered.

"I think I'll go talk to him," Lily said to no one, as she made her way through the fat lady's portrait. Mary and Marlene followed her down a minute or so after.

"Has she gone?" Mary asked, taking a seat besides Remus. He didn't seem too bothered, though he was reading a book. Sirius knew Remus hated being disturbed during a good book.

"A few minutes ago," Peter said. Emmeline, Donna and Charlotte walked in grinning. They spotted the rest of the Gryffindors and went still.

"Hello James," Charlotte growled, marching over to him.

"Charlotte," he said plainly. She stood behind the armchair in which he sat and ran her hands through his hair. He pulled away viciously. "Don't touch me,"

"But James, you used to love it when I did that," Charlotte purred.

"Merlin knows why – what do you reckon Sirius, should I get myself checked for dragon pox?" James called. The group around him laughed, other than the three new comers.

"I think you should," Emmeline said, "I heard about your date with Evans – who knows what she caught from that slimy Slytherin?" it was Donna and Charlotte's time to giggle now.

"Emmeline – you're being nasty," Mary announced bravely. "This coming from the girl going out with Fulton!"

"At least a guy can look at me without wanting to hex me!" Emmeline retorted quickly. Mary's face dropped. Marlene stood up – outside of the Quidditch pitch the girl was normally quite the pacifist, and so Sirius was quite surprised when she pulled out her wand, trained it on Emmeline and began to yell.

"That's such a shame Emmeline – I'd love for someone to do the job for me!" Marlene shouted. "But I guess if you want a job doing…"

Emmeline looked scared – she flinched her hand towards her own wand, but Marlene disarmed her at once. Still holding her wand pointed to the girl Marlene glared. Sirius looked on impressed, but made sure to keep his own wand tight in his hand in case anything got out of control.

"Just remember Emmeline, when Parkinson's found a new bestie, and Fulton sees you for who you are, that once upon a time you had real friends, and a nice boyfriend," Marlene snapped.

"A nice boyfriend? Really?" Remus looked up from his book, saw what was happening with surprised eyes, and returned to his story. Sirius' grip on his wand got tighter still.

"You wouldn't know a nice guy if he bit you on the ass," Marlene said.

"Oh, I think that was just the problem," Emmeline retorted. Sirius and James both stood up at once.

"Take that back," they both said as one.

"Oh, have I struck a nerve?" Emmeline laughed. "Rita was right; you are like a married couple,"

"Since when did you listen to the shit Rita Skeeter spouts?" Marlene asked.

"She's right though – she says you're all idiots," Emmeline said.

"Us? Idiots – you see, I'd think the girl who insults six people when she's alone and unarmed is a bit of an idiot myself," James pointed out.

"I'm not alone," Emmeline exclaimed, but as she looked behind her she saw this was not the case – Donna and Charlotte had disappeared a long time ago. "Right,"

"You're a bitch," Sirius said. "You know, you should tell everyone about this at the next family gathering – they'll love it! You'll fit right in,"

"At least my family can bear to spend Christmas with me,"

"I don't see how – they must be just as idiotic as you," James laughed.

"Oh they are!" Sirius chuckled.

All eyes were fixed on Emmeline, who looked as though she wanted to retort before giving a nasty grimace and turning on her heel.

—

Minutes passed in silence. Everyone settled back into their places on the sofa, not really in the mood to do anything but wait. They heard shouting from outside the Common Room that had been over looked when they were doing enough of it themselves. Still no one moved. James flinched, replaying the day's activities in his mind again and again. If he hadn't have insulted Snivelly, then this would have never happened. Not that the prick didn't deserve it. Another ten minutes passed. Marlene and Sirius were talking about Quidditch. Mary was asleep on the armchair James had long ago vacated. Peter was shuffling through a deck of magical cards, asking anyone if they wanted to play exploding snap. Remus had almost finished his book, and James was restless.

"I'm going to find her," James eventually said, and made for the door. He'd been pacing closer and closer to it since the shouting had stopped.

"Do you think that's wise Potter?" Remus asked. James didn't know if it was wise or not, but he couldn't just leave her.

"I have the best knowledge of the castle, it's past curfew, and I won't have any trouble hexing Snape if he gets nasty," James explained quickly. "That and maybe I should probably apologise,"

"James Potter, what have you become?" Marlene giggled. James looked at her, confused.

"A man in love!" Peter replied, as a double 6 exploded under his hand. Marlene and Sirius had agreed to join him in a game.

James waved them all off as they laughed, and headed for the exit.

He had half expected Lily to be curled up beneath the portrait, but she wasn't. There was no sign of Severus either, which was only ever a good thing. Pulling the still un-perfected Marauders' Map from his pocket, James whispered "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" and the ink entwined itself into an image. Filch was two corridors away, Severus was in his common room with Regulus. It appeared that everyone bar Sirius, Peter, Remus, Marlene and Mary had gone to bed - but where was Lily? Running down two staircases and missing a trick step to avoid Filch, James stole another few minutes to survey the map. She didn't seem to be anywhere in the castle. He checked the tower in which she'd cried before – the one he'd found her in their third year - but to no avail.

Looking down at the map he wondered if she was in the Room of Requirement. It was unplottable (though they'd tried), but when he checked there, again there was no sign of her. Giving up on the map all together, he decided to scour every inch of the castle until he found her – maybe there were some places on the map which didn't show people? He wondered where she might be – probably not just sitting in a classroom, that wouldn't have been a very Lily place to hide. Then it struck him – where else to mourn her friendship other than the place it died?

—

"Lily!" he breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so sorry," Snape begged.

"No you're not," Lily snapped, hoping her voice was as cold as she felt.

"I am! I really am," he implored. He was a good liar, she'd give him that.

"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends — you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No — listen, I didn't mean —"

"— to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth a Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Playing it over in her head didn't seem to be helping. It just made her sadder and sadder. The sadness was like the moon over her head – it would be full soon, but then it would begin to wane, and one day she could hope it would be gone completely. Even if just for a night. She thought of Remus and how his entire life was structured around that moon and that pain. Her mind skipped to Severus and how the inevitable had finally happened – sorrowfully and cruelly, but it had finally happened.

—

Narrowly missing Peeves and McGonagall who were in a heated discussion about trashing the Charms room, James sprinted as fast as possible to the Entrance Hall. There, he opened a gap in the doors and slid through. Cold air hit him hard, and he pulled his cloak around him. Down the pathway he'd travelled earlier that day he spotted a small silhouette, slumped against the tree near the Great Lake - her copper hair the only thing visible in the reflected moonlight.

"Lily," she jumped. Of course, Lily never broke rules, and here she was, way past curfew sight-seeing at the lake. She looked ghostly in the light, her sadness consuming her face – sorrow in her emerald eyes.

"Oh, hullo James," she said numbly.

"How're you?" he asked, taking a seat in the cold, wet grass beside her.

"Cold," she said, and sure enough, as he edged closer, he saw her shiver slightly. He threw his cloak around her shoulders, and she smiled gratefully. "But you'll be cold,"

"I'm a Quidditch player - we know how to endure the elements," he joked, though he was freezing.

There was silence for a while, as he waited for her to speak – he didn't want to push her. The lake looked skeletal in the dark – when the sun had been on it, the ripples had looked so welcoming welcoming, and he'd wanted to immerse himself in the cool water. Now they resembled bones with the white moonlight, growing as they moved closer to the shore, and lapping up the dark life of the sand.

"I told him not to talk to me anymore," she said after a while. "He told me I couldn't just do that, that I was his best friend, and that I can't just stop that with a few words. But he did it – he said the words. I told him that I haven't been his best friend since the minute the sorting hat put me in Gryffindor. That's not anyone's fault really – just the paths going in two different directions. Mine lead me here – his leads somewhere else. We… he was the person who told me I was a witch, James. I grew up thinking I was just like everyone else, and he told me why I could do things and that though I was weird in the muggle world no one would think I was any different. And now… I guess he revoked that," she laughed darkly.

"Everyone's worried about you," he told her truthfully.

"Why?"

"Because you're not crying," James admitted with a laugh. She looked at him.

"Surely that's a good sign?" she shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess we just care about you," Lily lay her head against James' shoulder.

Silence again.

"James?" she whispered,

"Yes Lily?" he kept his voice even.

"It was him who attacked me, wasn't it?" of all the things she might have said, he wasn't expecting that.

"Yes," he nodded. Underneath his cloak she shuffled.

"I thought so,"

"You did?"

"About a week after the accident,"

"But you never told?" James asked.

"He was my best friend. If he got expelled, he'd an easier target for Voldemort. His father… he wouldn't really have had anywhere else to go," she muttered. "I think it's already too late," James could feel her tears through his shirt.

"Nothing's too late. What did you tell me last year? He'll choose the right side when it matters," James assured her – wondering why he was standing up for the slimy sod.

"It already matters James. He's already failed," the tears were flowing freely now.

"I know." And he did. He understood what it was to be betrayed by the one person who vowed never to do that – it hurt more than anything else in the world, and it was almost impossible to forgive. James had only been betrayed once – Severus had hurt Lily over and over again, and each time she'd forgiven him, told herself it wasn't a betrayal – but it was too far now.

"I should've seen it last year. When Avery… he told me it should've been him. I thought he meant to stick up for me like you did… not…."

"Why did you kiss him?" James asked, kicking himself for how desperate he sounded. It had bugged him for over a year now - he had been the one who had stuck up for her, and yet she'd rejected him and went and kissed the boy who allowed her to be spoken to like that.

"I didn't. He kissed me. It was awful," she laughed wearily.

"Well, you had just kissed me," James laughed, a weight free from his chest. "Anything would be worse in comparison," she hit him lightly on the arm.

"It's just… if he hadn't chosen that path… I might've-," she admitted.

"No you couldn't Lily," she looked at him. "You're amazing and wonderful and talented. But above all of those things you're… kind and compassionate, and utterly amazed at every spec of beauty you see in this world. Severus was none of those things really. He always brought you down," she didn't say anything after that. She nuzzled into his arm and sobbed, totally still and totally silently. The only way James knew the tears were coming was because his shirt grew wetter and wetter. Hiccups and coughing came and passed, and she fell asleep as the horizon hinted at morn.

As the sun began to light up the river, James picked her up in his arms. He carried her through the castle as gently as he could, her pulled against his chest. He couldn't check the map because it was in the cloak Lily was curled up in, but luckily the only people up seemed to be the house elves, and they were sure not to disturb him. When he reached the Common Room, he saw Marlene and Sirius asleep on the sofa. The others must've retired to their own beds.

Aware that he couldn't carry her to the girl's dorm, James carried her up to his own, pulled back the quilt of his own bed and let her curl up against the pillows. James himself crashed on Sirius' bed, which was so warm and comfortable compared to the cold wind of the night that he was asleep before he could even think of putting pyjamas on.

—

Lily awoke to the smell of amortenia. That was weird, she thought. Maybe Mary has sprayed some new potion about to liven the dorm up, she thought in her sleepy stupor. But something struck her - why was she wearing a cloak in bed? She sat bolt upright, to see Remus Lupin looking down at her with a smirk on his face.

"Morning Lily," he smiled and pulled his own robes over his uniform. He looked pleased with himself.

"Remus, where am I?" but she knew before she'd even asked.

"You're in James' bed," she must have looked horrified, because one look at her face and Remus added, "Oh no, James slept in Sirius' bed… though not with Sirius. I think the only people who have been sharing sleeping quarters is Marlene and Sirius. Don't tell Adam,"

"Err, why am I in James' bed?" Lily questioned. The last thing she remembered was being down at the lake.

"Beats me. James went out for a run the second he woke up. It's a habit of his. He's in the shower now, so if you wait a tick you could ask him for yourself," Remus informed her. He looked as though he might've stuck around if she'd asked him to, but she told him to go and get some food. He had an exam that afternoon.

"Thank you Remus," and he went down to get breakfast.

Lily couldn't believe she was in James Potter's bed - the single place she had vowed never to end up. Maybe Severus was right - maybe it was her who was changing and ruining their relationship. But no, it hadn't been her who had shouted mudblood. She couldn't blame herself anymore.

True to Remus' word, James opened one of the doors just off the dormitory with a cloud of steam, with a long towel wrapped around his waist. He was using a smaller towel to dry his messy hair. Contrary to what she'd yelled yesterday down by the lake she loved his hair like that. She felt immedidately as though she'd been struck with a full body bind, and could do nothing but stare, but as he saw her expression he dropped his hands, looking like a stag in the headlights, and she snapped out of it.

"Oh, Lily. Sorry! I didn't think you'd be up," he blushed and ran over to his trunk to pull out some clothes. Lily saw a strange looking cloak – the invisibility cloak and a number of things she assumed were probably on Filch's banned items list.

"It's okay. This beats seeing Mary in the morning. I'm pretty sure there's a whole army of girls who would kill to be in my position right now," she laughed, struggling between her discomfort and the fact that she felt incredibly comfortable.

"Oh, tonnes," he replied sarcastically. How strange- where's the arrogance? It was almost as though she'd woken up in a backwards world. "I'll just…" and he went back into the bathroom to change.

He emerged again wearing a red jumper and some black trousers; he pushed his hand through his damp hair, only this time it didn't annoy her. He smiled at her. Walking into the end of the bed she assumed to be Peter's, he grinned and pulled his glasses from his pocket and onto his face.

"Why am I in your bed?" was her first question.

"Well, you fell asleep on me last night by the tree, and I can't get into the girl's dorm. Sirius and Marlene were asleep on the sofa (only, don't tell McKinnon) so it was either my bed or the floor," he smiled again. "I didn't think you'd want to contaminate yourself with Sirius' sleeping quarters,"

"Well, thank you for your hospitality," she smiled.

"No problem," he grinned.

"Strange," she commented, unable to break his gaze.

"What's strange?" he questioned her.

"I don't even want to shout at you," Lily laughed. "You'd think… I mean, you were a total arse yesterday, but…"

"I am so sorry," he said sincerely. "If I'd have known…"

"I know," she smiled. "It's going to be weird – going back to Cokeworth and not having Sev to spend time with,"

"Well, we could meet up occasionally?" James offered, attempting and failing to sound casual. "Y'know, everyone,"

"I think I'd like that," Lily admitted. They stared at each other for a while, until Lily realised that whilst James had showered and changed, she had just woken up in day old clothes, and probably looked as though the hairbrush hadn't been invented yet.

"Thanks for listening to me and your cloak and everything… I'll see you round?" and then Lily Evans did the strangest thing. Pushing the covers off her and roughly making the bed, she walked towards James Potter and stopped when she reached him. Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she planted a kiss on his cheek, muffled a thank you and left the dorm.

—

When she had allowed herself a half hour shower, she dressed, brushed her hair and met the rest of the Gryffindors in the Great Hall. James grinned at her, and made room for her beside him, and pushing the plate of croissants towards her. No one spoke, but she coud feel their tentative eyes on her, and she really wished they wouldn't. She wasn't the only one who realised something was up. Ophelia stared between Lily and the other fifth years, before coughing to clear her throat.

"What did I miss?" she asked the group. "Why weren't you at dinner yesterday?"

Lily's eyes flickered quickly to the table where Severus Snape sat wedged between Amycus Carrow and Tracy Dawlish, but didn't linger there. She shrugged.

"I wasn't… really hungry," Lily lied.

"You're lying – I can tell," Ophelia accused. "What happened? Exam go badly?"

"Actually, it went perfectly," Lily smiled. "I er… Severus and I are no longer friends,"

"What? Why?" Ophelia gasped. Lily had been hoping to avoid this.

"He called her a… mudblood," James spat. She could feel Ophelia's rage prickling against her skin. Surely enough, Lily chanced a look at James and he too was frowning.

"He did what?" Ophelia hissed. "You can't be serious,"

"Yes – he did. In front of the entire fifth year," Mary said. Suddenly the entire group of them felt an overwhelming anger rising in them. They all knew, of course, that it was not their own anger – Lily could even taste the emotion as foreign. No one got angry quite like Ophelia did. They looked at her soothingly, calming their own feelings in an attempt to cool her down. It was the first time she'd spilled the emotion on to anyone for months now.

"Ophelia," Lily warned quietly. She didn't want to anger on her skin to come off in her voice and make the situation worse.

"Sorry!" the girl squeaked. "I just can't believe he…"

"I know," Lily said kindly. "But it's done. There are better things to think about," Like James Potter coming out of the bathroom in a towel – she thought to herself, not for the first time that morning.

"Why are you embarrassed, Lily?" Ophelia asked.

"What?"

"You're feeling embarrassed – what are you thinking about?" Ophelia continued. Lily felt herself going unfathomably red, and dropped her eyes to avoid James' stare.

"What? I don't understand!" James laughed, confused until something struck him. "Are you imagining me in a towel?" Lily blushed harder.

"She is!" Ophelia laughed. "Merlin, Lily!"

"Wait, when did you see James in a towel?" Marlene demanded. "Are there pictures? Can I get a picture?"

Unable to stop blushing, Lily gave her breakfast plate more attention than she ever had before, and she would have stayed that way until conversation had moved on, but a gentle hand place comfortingly at the small of her back grounded her. She took a deep breat and met James' eyes. He smiled warmly, and the returned to eating his own breakfast, leaving Lily sat beside him, bewildered.

—

The last fortnight of the school year brought sadness to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The walls would see something which they hadn't seen in years. Death would be seen – it wouldn't be the first, or sadly the last that would occur at the school, but it would be the first battle of a war that no one expected to show up on their doorstep. Someone would die because of their own weaknesses and their own bravery. A weapon would be lost, and things would change forever.

Lily Evans was approaching the Great Hall, surrounded by friends on the day it happened. They had spent the day doing introductions to their lessons for the following year – most of them held out in the sunlight. Though she was slightly sunburnt, she was happy – she had her friends around her. Friends that didn't call her names, or insult her. Friends that found her in the cold, or waited up at night to see if she was okay, or knew exactly how to make her feel comfortable when she needed it most. James was walking ahead of Lily, explaining to Ophelia why House Elves are great guys to take with you on a night out in the Leaky Cauldron.

"James, stop being such a terrible influence," Remus rolled his eyes beside Lily.

"Lily," someone called her name, and she knew who it was instantly.

Severus Snape was emerging from the dark undergrounds of the Slytherin common room. He was alone, and his face dark and gaunt. More so than she'd ever seen it. Lily turned from Mary and let her smile drop. "Lily, can I talk to you?"

"No," she said sternly. "No you cannot,"

"Please, you need to understand," Severus begged. James, Sirius, Remus, Ophelia, Marlene and Mary all stood uniformed together. They each wore the same hard look of hatred. That was all the strength Lily needed.

"I already understand Snivellus," Lily spat. "I understand and I don't care,"

"But-" he started. James stepped forwards.

"Oi – greasy, she's not interested in talking to you, okay? You said all you have to say!" he shouted.

"I didn't mean to say it!" Severus shouted back. "It's your bloody fault Potter,"

"What? It's my fault that you insulted the one person in the entire world that cared whether you were hurt or not? Literally – the only person who cares about you. That's not my fault Snivellus, that's your own stupid mistake," James spat, true anger enraging his face. Lily had only seen that expression a few times.

James stepped forwards again – no one stopped him. He pulled his wand from his robes and glared pointedly at Severus Snape. James shouted a curse at Severus, who blocked it and threw one his way. Flashes of magic light up the hall, and none of the group nor the students who had stopped walking to watch the fight, decided to stop them. Suddenly her own anger turned to panic at the hairs on her arms began to stand up. She felt the tension rising in the room – anger and hate was spilling across her, and by the looks on their faces, the other Gryffindors too. Lily tried to speak out to Ophelia, to call her back, ground her in reality, but she was choked on the rage burying itself in her chest. Everywhere she looked there was anger, jealousy, hormones, hate, fear and regret. It all happened in a flash.

Lily watched as Snape's face exploded with triumph. James had been hit with something – Lily and Sirius screamed before she could even think about getting Ophelia out of there. Her own fear and the rage in the room hit her again, doubled as Ophelia magnified them.

Suddenly chaos became all. Slytherin's approached – Regulus Black lurched at Sirius, whose wand was still in his pocket. Every student around felt the anger radiating from Ophelia and it consumed them – there would be no stopping this, Lily knew. Ophelia was the spring in which it was born – the anger, hate, hurt, jealousy and she fed it to them all, they ate it, gobbled it, unable to stop. The more they felt it, the more there was for her to consume, and to create. The world was a war ground, and Lily was so far away she was helpless to stop it.

"Aculeatum!" someone yelled nearby, and a stinging hex hit Lily hard in the back. She stumbled and turned, feeling the side of her face begin to swell. Her only saving grace was that the spellcaster was evidently no expert in charms, and though it stung, she knew it could be worse.

Lily whipped around, sending a flame of purple fire shooting through the air until it hit her assailant: Emmeline. The other girl recoiled at the pain, but was fast on her wand. She shot another hex at Lily - this time, Lily didn't hear the incantation. She was too busy casting her own shield charm around herself, reflecting the curse as soon as it hit. Quickly now, Lily yelled "Stupefy", which hit Emmeline clean in the chest, knocking her back against the wall, unconscious.

Her eyes flew to James who was still duelling with Severus – their own battle the most consuming of them all. Fists crashed into faces, blood spilled, people screamed. Wands were waved and dropped and stolen – the fight was unstoppable. Lily dove forward, throwing herself between James and Severus. Both boys took a second to drop their wands, and both of them screamed her name.

Without losing a second, Lily cast a holding charm, pushing both boys against an invisible wall, holding them there unable to move. They fought wildly against the spell, and their combined strength mixed with the artificial anger seeping into her bones weakened her. She stared wildly around the room. All around her students were duelling and punching and fighting. She wondered momentarily where all the professors were, but knew that even they weren't immune to Ophelia's rage. Lily barely knew why she herself was still as level-headed as she was, but she didn't have long to ponder. James and Severus were breaking free of the charm.

Lily's eyes darted for Ophelia, but at first she couldn't find her in the crowd. It wasn't until she heard her screaming that Lily spotted her, exactly where they'd left her, curled up against the stones of the Entrance Hall, pulsating with the power coarsing through her.

She wasn't the only one who had spotted Ophelia; a boy, older than herself, with dark eyes, an ugly brow and hunched shoulders. She didn't know him. He pushed through the crowd with purpose, and Lily could see that he knew Ophelia was the source of this all. He knew her as the source of the pain, and by the time Lily realised what he planned to do, it was too late. Towering over the girl he took his wand out of his pocket.

Lily heard nothing but a scream. There had been one hundred people screaming in fear and pain but this was like nothing she'd ever heard. It was a scream of death. Spinning on her heel, she saw Ophelia in a horrifying green light, crumpling against the floor. There was only one curse that Lily knew that could do that. The room froze in time. Diving forwards Lily rushed to see her friend – she felt so weak, and so hurt. As she moved, James and Severus broke free from her spell and fell to the floor.

The room was silent now – every fighting person stopped – the anger had been washed out of the room. Something dramatically wrong had happened – nothing could have stopped Lily from pushing away gawking students to reach the small pile of black hair and pale skin on the floor. Her face looked so soft against the cold stone – she looked peaceful. Lily fell down, a scream tore out of her mouth. She felt hands on her back, a voice saying her name over and over. Crawling forwards against the cold and brutal ground she reached the body. Pulling it into her lap, she cradled the girl – she had been a sister to Lily – the sister that Lily had lost.

The panic and pain was all her own, now and they were worse than anything else. She sobbed onto the face of the younger girl. Footsteps came and tried to remove Lily from the girl, but she wouldn't budge. If she were to look up, she would see McGonagall's tout and horrified expression, Dumbledore's unthinkable sadness, and James Potter hiding his own grief to protect her from everyone trying to move her away. Lily couldn't move. Not now – she couldn't leave Ophelia, cold and alone on the stone floor, surrounded by strangers. When she looked at the girl, she looked different – she was herself, without the change of the nose she didn't like, without the redder than average lips or the taller than normal legs. She was simply a twelve year old girl, who had held the sadness and anger of the world inside her tiny, still heart.

At some point someone forced everyone bar Lily, James, Mary, Remus, Peter, Sirius, Marlene and Severus in the hall. They were to stay there until someone came and questioned them all on what on earth had happened. But there was nothing they could do – no one they could punish – because the anger and loss of control hadn't been their own. The source of it all had already been punished. Lily wished she could've been there and held her – told her that it would be alright – that she'd stay by her side until it was over. But she hadn't been - Ophelia had been alone.

—

In the end it was Dumbledore who managed to make Lily stand and walk her over to an empty room. It was only when she was sat staring quietly out of the window in a chamber off the Great Hall that Lily realised she was holding James Potter's hand. Her eyes met his, totally lost. What she saw there confirmed everything she wasn't sure she hadn't dreamt. They listened to the whispers of the cold wind through the windows, James tracing a small circle inside her wrist with his finger. It was an hour until McGonagall came to find them – they were both sat exactly as they had been when they were left there.

"Lily, I have a potion for the shock," McGonagall said, handing the wide eyed girl a small vial of potion. Lily took it, confused, unstopped it and swallowed the contents whole. "This whole thing is just awful. You two were close to Miss Finnely, weren't you?"

"She's our friend," Lily said mistily.

"She's dead, Lily," James whispered, his hand soothing her hair. "She's dead,"

"The whole situation – from what we believe your fight with Mr Snape's actions in calling Lily… it upset Ophelia, and she lost control of her unique power. Her condition was so strong that it simply broke free of her. Neither of you will be punished, of course. Her parents have been called. They'll floo in shortly – they want to meet you, Lily,"

"Why?" James asked. His voice was strong. Lily had been wondering the same thing, and was distantly thankful she hadn't had to speak.

"From my understanding, Lily was the first friend Ophelia had." McGonagall said sadly. "Are you feeling up to it, Lily?"

"Who used the killing curse?" Lily asked.

"What?" McGonagall asked, evidently struck by the suddenness of the question. For a second Lily didn't think that she'd even answer, but something changed and she nodded. "That was a seventh year who shall remain unnamed. He is going to be trailed at the Ministry – it's an unprecedented situation because of her power," she told them. "He was not a Death Eater, just someone who knew the spell and had enough anger to use it in that moment,"

"This is… Where's Dumbledore?" James asked.

"Talking to the school. He is explaining about the circumstances of her condition that led this to happen," McGonagall answered. James sighed beside Lily, making her jump. He mussed his hair, his movements so sharp and restless.

"Is anyone hurt?" Lily asked.

"There are about twenty people in the hospital wing. You will have to be checked over yourselves," McGonagall told them.

"I don't want…"

"They can heal you, Lily," James implored.

"Maybe I don't want them to,"

"Lily you can't punish yourself," James told her. He held her hand between both of his.

"It's my fault… I should have-" she stuttered. James pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear.

"It's not your fault," he assured her.

"Miss Evans – you did so much for that little girl. There is not one thing or action that could be done that could've saved her, and not a thing you should regret," McGonagall said sternly, though a hint of sadness touching her otherwise hardened exterior.

"We could get a time turner… or…"

"Time can't be changed so drastically," McGonagall said sadly. "Now, I've been asked to escort you up to the headmaster's office," the pair nodded and followed aimlessly.

—

At some point during their wait for the Finnleys to arrive, Lily began to rest her head on James' shoulder. They were sat at the headmaster's desk – he was surveying the numerous magical objects that littered the desk; distracting himself with wondering what they did – she was staring at the portraits dreamily. The shock had gone, but the pain had not. There was nothing he could do, but hold her hand softly and safely.

Professor Dumbledore walked in, accompanied by Professor McGonagall. They both looked as though they'd aged forty years in the past two hours. The old man approached the fireplace and put his hand on a small glass ball. The image of a girl flew up in it – a girl wearing glasses with her hair in pigtails – wide eyed and miserable looking.

"Only once in 100 years has there been a death at Hogwarts," he said. "Then, like now, we were unable to punish fairly. For there is no fair punishment for losing someone we love too soon. Some may say the dementor's kiss, others would disagree. You taught Ophelia to control her magic, didn't you Lily?"

"And Severus Snape," Lily answered slowly.

"She is not gone from us forever Lily," he said sadly. "And unfortunately she is not the last or first victim of this war,"

"I want to fight," James said strongly. "In the war. I want to help,"

"I'm glad you still say that, James. You have a spirit like your father," Dumbledore smiled, though meekly. "You are welcome to fight with us…"

"Albus, the boy is a bit young to be fighting with the Order!" McGonagall interjected.

"For now. But he won't be. And Voldemort doesn't care for age – so much is obvious from the behaviours of some of our students in these recent years," Dumbledore said. "But when the time comes, James, I would be happy to fight alongside you,"

"I want to fight too," Lily squeaked. "I'll fight with this Order thing…"

"Then the Order will have gained two fantastic members. But for now we needn't worry of fighting. It is a time to heal our hearts and minds,"

There was a puff of smoke in the fireplace, and two people stepped out of it. The first was an oldish looking man, with a thick moustache, and gaunt eyes. The second was a distraught woman, clutching a small piece of wood to her chest. Lily looked up sadly – she saw Ophelia's nose on him, her hair on her.

"Mr and Mrs Finnley," Dumbledore said. "Please, sit –" he offered, conjuring two chairs from the end of his wand. "What has happened today was a tragic accident,"

"Is this Lily?" the lady asked, her voice shaking with sorrow. Lily nodded, her eyes flicking to James as she did.

"I am Lily," she replied. James had never heard her voice so small.

"You were her friend," the woman said looking into her wide green eyes. Lily nodded again.

"Yes,"

"She spoke of you all the time. You gave her friends, and control over her magic, and happiness. I am… we both are so thankful to you. Alone she barely lived a life at all – with you she…" the woman's voice cracked. "…she was happy," the woman's husband wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him. Her sobs died in his jacket.

"I'm not… I'm a muggle – I don't understand much of this magic stuff. But, you did – you were the only one who helped her. At the last day of the Christmas holidays she told us that school was like her second home now. She used to hate it – would cry and cry unless we'd agree to let her stay at home, where she had us. You share our grief,"

"She was like a sister to me," Lily choked, her voice breaking. "Her laugh…"

"The little giggle that meant she was up to something?" Mr Finnley said. "That is my wife's laugh," she smiled. Ophelia's mother smiled too.

"She was a fantastic witch, and an even better human being," Lily said with a shattered voice. There were tears drenching her face.

"She shall not go unremembered," James vowed.

"James?" Mr Finnley asked, noticing James. James nodded, shocked that in her grief this woman knew who he was, "She said that you and Sirius would steal food for her from the kitchens,"

"Her favourite was the custard tarts," James recalled.

"I used to bake them for her on her birthday," the man remembered distantly. He took the small wooden plank from his wife and turned it around to show that it was actually a photo-frame. Inside was a moving photo, of Ophelia standing with Lily, Emmeline, Mary, Marlene, James and Sirius – Remus had taken the photo. It was after the Gryffindor's had won the Slytherin match earlier that year. Mary had said she wanted a picture with the future captains of the England team, and Lily had pulled Ophelia into it. That was only three months ago – their smiling faces were care free and alive. Lily looked away.

"I am excruciatingly sorry for you loss," James said feeling tears in his own eyes. "If there's anything you need…"

"Her wand…" Mrs Finnley cried. "She needs to be buried with her wand,"

"Of course," Dumbledore said. From his pocket he brought out the black wooded wand that Lily knew as Ophelia's. The woman took it and put it in her own pocket.

—

The rest of the night was spent with McGonagall escorting the pair to the Hospital Wing where they were both checked over. Lily had some damage done to her left arm, but otherwise she was fine. James was in worse nick, but Holloway fixed him up and the pair were able to return to their Common Room with a vial each of dreamless sleep. Lily doubted they would have been so easily allowed to leave if every bed was not taken up by a mass of severely injured students.

James didn't leave her side once.

For a week Lily and James sat in silence with the rest of the Gryffindors. It seemed funny that once this place had actually seemed alive without Ophelia in it; way back before she knew the girl. Everywhere they turned they saw reminders of her – the armchair she sat in and spilt ink on whilst doing her Charms essay – a pair of her shoes – the origami swans she created out of spare parchment lay everywhere. It was the morning of the memorial service when Lily woke up, put on her black robes and found a little swan inside the pocket. There had been eyes drawn on it. Lily smiled.

—

Birds were singing over Dumbledore, but everyone heard every word he said. There were two second years sobbing two rows behind them. The sun was shining, and flowers were everywhere. James sat outside with the rest of the students, his wand rested in his lap. Dumbledore was giving a speech about the bravery of fear, and McGonagall had just spoken on Ophelia's intellegence and hard work.. It seemed wrong – everyone wore black – he would've had them wearing purple, like the colour of her eyes. His eyes still scanned the crowd for Lily - he couldn't imagine her not showing up, but this was the first time in a week she hadn't been right beside him. He thought she'd have wanted to say goodbye. She'd hate it anyway – he thought to himself. It's not very Ophelia.

No sooner had the thought entered his head, when a thousand paper birds flew down through the sky.

The crowd gasped as the birds fluttered in the wind. James recognised them at once. Even Dumbledore stopped speaking to smile and appreciate the beauty of the things. They fell around the service, litering the ground with little white paper swans, which as the stopped fluttering burst into the shape of purple daisies across the grass. Suddenly, everyone looked up to see where the swans were coming from – even against the bright sun, James could see a flash of red hair and purple robes standing on the roof.

Before he could convince himself that he'd imagined it, Lily jumped from the roof of the castle. James' stomach flipped and he stood, wand in hand, until he saw her sat atop a broom, flying slowly down to join the service. She lowered herself down until she was hovering over the crowd, and used some sort of spell to turn every person's robes purple. Landing lightly on the floor, Lily smiled.

"I'm sorry Professor, may I?" Lily asked.

Dumbledore nodded, a glint in his eye, before stepping down from the podium and taking a seat beside Professor McGonagall. Lily stepped up to Dumbledore's spot, pointed her wand at her throat and took a deep breath. James had never been more proud of her.

"Ophelia Finnley was someone that barely any of you knew. But you probably all met her. When I first met her she looked just like James Potter. I saw her change her form into hundreds of different people. Ophelia was everyone. She was you, and me, and even Dumbledore once. But most importantly, she was kind – she cared about people. She was funny, and beautiful, and entirely too young to meet a fate like hers. She made paper swans too.

"People we love can be taken from us unwillingly. Ophelia was one of these people. Never should you voluntarily lose a friend, when there are wars like this one to steal them from you. Every time you see these flowers on this lawn, I want you to think of her – a girl who was exactly like you and me, but who felt the pain of all of us. She knew every single one of you from the happinesses you felt. And for that we remember her – because she was kind and fantastic and did everything in her power to stop her friends feeling the pain that is so inevitable from the world,"

—

After the service, the students milled around on the lawn talking to each other, admiring the flowers around them, and getting ready to say goodbye – tomorrow they would be departing from Hogsmeade station, and returning to Platform 9 ¾. Not all of them would return, as it was their last year here. Friends ran around smiling in their purple robes. Lily stayed with James – as she had done since the accident. The rest of their friends were by the lake, but Lily had been hounded since the service by people congratulating her magic or asking her more about Ophelia.

The second they were left alone together, James had so much he wanted to tell her. He opened his mouth to start, but she spotted something behind him.

"I'll be right back," she said before darting off.

He nodded and turned to watch her walk over to Emmeline. From his distance away from them, he couldn't hear what they were saying, but they both started crying and hugging at one point. James sighed and walked over to the lake. Everyone else must've gone back to the Common Room, because no one was left. He saw Hagrid and Fang running around by the far shore.

"James," someone said – it was Dumbledore. "Quite a show, eh?"

"It was beautiful – Fin would've loved it," James admitted.

"Lily returned your broom?" the Professor asked.

"After a good shouting at," James joked.

"There's something you want to ask me, isn't there?" Dumbledore said.

"A lot,"

"Go ahead,"

"… during the fight I was terrified. I was so scared, in a way I've never been before," James said.

"Of course you were – your friends were fighting, and you yourself felt the vehemence in which they fought. It was not your own fear though – but hers," he assured the boy.

"I didn't think Gryffindors got scared," James mumbled.

"Of course they do, you silly boy. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear," Dumbledore said. "James, one does not have to be in Hufflepuff to be loyal, nor Ravenclaw to have smarts, Nor Gryffindor to be brave, nor Slytherin for ambition,"

"What's the Order?" James asked quickly.

"Alas – that is an answer for another time," Dumbledore said. He stared down at James, and James stared out over the lake.

—

It was on the train home that James and the Marauders' perfected theie map. It was a simple spell that James had invented to attach itself to the magical quill that registers new pupils – that way it would continue plotting the new students automatically each year. There was still no luck plotting the Room of Requirement, but they finessed the rest of the castle, and before they were even visited by the snack trolley, the map was done - though they'd have to wait the entire summer to use it again.

Lily had become civil with Emmeline again; though she wasn't invited to the party James was throwing over the summer. The Gryffindors all agreed that they would have to meet up and go to Diagon Alley together – James even suggested that he might invite Lily to France if she wanted. The space where Ophelia would have sat lay empty, and though they missed her, their fifth year mischief had been managed.