Choices

"Huh?" an instant response of shock and horror. "Did—did you just say…?"

Rory's hands came to her head in her own shock and horror. "I did not just say that," she whispered to herself.

"Ah, yes you did. You just said 'Logan.'"

"Don't take that in the wrong way!" Rory said in a rush.

"I don't know how else to take it," replied Jess, still standing in place, staring at Rory who was standing still herself several feet away, staring back.

"It's…maybe I should start from the beginning…" said Rory, thankful that Jess hadn't exploded yet.

"I think that's probably a good idea…" replied Jess a bit shaky. All the worst case scenarios were running through his head and he hoped a rational explanation would make everything alright. But if it involved Logan at all, everything definitely wouldn't be alright.

"Well, the beginning, um…"

"Yeah, well, it's a good place to start," replied Jess uneasily. Awkwardness filled the room heavily.

"Let's see, I was talking on the phone with you and I got another call," explained Rory with unnecessary hand motions including making a phone shape with her hands an pointing at Jess when she said his name. It may have been the fact that she was trying to figure out how she had gotten into the situation herself. "And it was Logan."

"Yeah, that beginning is not that much better," said Jess, only a touch of humor in his voice, the rest of him was serious.

"Well, he needed someone to pick him up from the police station and so I did ad I drove him home. And I told he was an idiot and nothing happened."

"That's it?" asked Jess tentatively.

"That's it," confirmed Rory and then added swiftly, "And he told me he loved me, but that's not a big deal."

The expression on Jess' s face said he clearly thought it was a big deal. He ran a hand nervously through his hair.

"I believe you," he said after a long silence.

A wave of relief washed over Rory.

"But it doesn't mean I like this."

"Jess…" she said, taking a few steps toward him. "I had to," she added with a little shrug.

"But doesn't he have his own friends to pick him up?" asked Jess. Rory paused, she hadn't really thought about that at the time.

"Well, they were probably all too drunk themselves," she explained although Jess did not completely understand, having not the back-story of the actual events of her ex-boyfriend's arrest.

A silence fell between them again. It was tense and awkward because of the harsh situation and their way of talking around the problem rather than confronting it. Perhaps they hadn't come as far in their new relationship as they thought. They were both too scared, too wary to start a fight with the other, or even just accidentally spark one. Because the two of them didn't' have the best repertoire of dealing with fights…

"Maybe I should go," said Jess, making his way to the door, brushing lightly by Rory as he passed on his way.

That brought the brunette girl to her senses.

"Stay," she said, commanded, as Jess's hand reached for the doorknob.

He paused, taking a second to revel at the irony of the situation, how their roles had been reversed.

He turned to look at Rory.

"I want you to stay," she repeated. He gave a little nod of the head as if to say that he heard her, but he wanted an explanation as to why. She sighed and continued. "If you leave now…if I let you leave…without working this...us…out…well, we've done that before and it doesn't work. So please, stay. I want you to."

"…Okay."

"Why—why don't we sit down," Rory suggested tentatively.

Jess sat down on the couch, Rory followed.

"Okay, how 'bout we start this over," said Rory. Jess said nothing. "Okay, well, Logan did call me and I went to help him out. But nothing happened. I don't feel anything for more than friendly. When I look back on it now it probably wasn't the best idea. I'll admit that. But he is still a friend to me, and I care about what happened to him in his life even though we broke up. I was interested just the same way with you," reasoned Rory, trying to be open as possible, really hoping Jess would say something, anything.

After a moment's pause in the conversation he mumbled in retort, "Yeah, but look how well that turned out for him."

Rory couldn't help but smile. If Jess could be playfully sarcastic at a time like this, everything was not lost.

"Trust me, nothing is ever going happened between Logan me anymore. He'll never be anything more than a friend."

Jess looked Rory on the eye. "It's not you that I don't trust."

"What do you mean?" asked Rory.

"I mean that…I'm not ignorant of how far a guy would go to get the amazing Rory Gilmore back…or even for the first time."

Rory tried, and failed, not to blush.

"Tell me it's not true. Look at Dean. Look at me," reasoned Jess. "You can't tell me Logan would just give up…"

Rory had to agree with him. She thought how much Logan did to regain their relationship after they had 'broken up' the first time. All the flowers and gifts and always coming after her.

"Even so, I'm with you now," she said softly.

"But what happens if one day he's chasing after you and …"

"And?" Rory prodded.

Jess grimaced slightly as though he hated what he was about to say.

"And you see him compared to who you traded him in for."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Rory, a little sharply, sitting up straight.

Jess tore his eyes away from her. "Don't get me wrong. I pretty much hate Logan. I think he's a jerk and no way deserves you, but…he has a lot of things that I can't offer you."

"What?"

"Come on, he's rich and has connections. You're grandmother probably adores him. He could take you places—"

"But I don't love him,' she interrupted, forcing Jess to look back at her.

"You did once," he said as if that were enough explanation.

"But not anymore."

"What if that changes?"

"It won't."

"How do you know?"
"I know…because I am in love with you. And you give me something that he ever could, and ever did."

Jess narrowed his eyebrows in question, but spoke not a word.

Rory bit her bottom lip before continuing. "Not only do you believe in me, you make me believe in me. Something he never did. These last few weeks have been the happiest of my life. I've never wanted something more than what we have now." Rory paused and gave him a small, but sincere smile.

"Just remember," she continued. "I already faced a choice between Logan and you already. And I chose you. I love you and I promise I always will because I'm not going to chose someone else."

Jess reached out and cupped her cheek in his warm hand. Their eyes meet, blue and brown locked in an intense gaze.

"You're perfect," he whispered and she could hardly stand to blink, fearing that the honestly and romanticism of his gaze would disappear. "And I love you too."

A kiss. Shared, passion, intensity, compassion, truth, sincerity, love… It was innocent at the same time as being mature. They had reached something, some landmark, some uncharted area, farther than they had ever gone in their relationship before. Complete trust, understanding, and knowing that love will not go away with a bump in the road. They didn't have to hide their feelings anymore.

It had been a night of choices. They could have fought. They could have run away. They could have given up. And in the end, they fought. They fought to keep what they had, because both of them had enough of running away and giving up. And right now they knew this was for real.