The TARDIS mailbox shot a letter out across the room, the envelope landing on the floor. I got out of bed and picked it up, while Scarlet, who was across the TARDIS control room sat up, yawning and stretching.
I yawned. "Who sends letters at four a.m.?" I saw the seal on the letter, and said to Scarlet "Do you know the sixteenth president of the U.S.?"
"Hm?" Scarlet was half asleep, probably not getting a word I said. I opened the letter and read it.
"Oh my. Abraham Lincoln is being attacked by Cybermen." I said, and got back into bed. 'I'll deal with it later.' I thought.
Then, I shot up in bed. "Cybermen are attacking Abraham freakin' Lincoln!"
Scarlet looked at me. "Shut up. I wanna sleep."
"Lincoln is being attacked by Cybermen!"
"What's a Cyberman?"
"How come nobody remembers the numerous times the earth was attacked? Or the numerous times I saved it?" I sighed, typing '1863' into the TARDIS and brewing some coffee for Scarlet. "S.S., get up."
"Don't call me that." Scarlet said.
"If you don't get up soon I'll tattoo 'S.S.' on your head."
"How? You don't have any tattooing stuff."
"My pockets function like the TARDIS, y'know." I said, and Scarlet stood, believing me in her sleepy state.
"I just stood up so you'd shut up." Scarlet informed me.
I shrugged.
"So, what's the problem?" Scarlet asked.
"Same old, same old. Honest Abe's being attacked by the Cybermen." I said.
"What?"
"I know, right?" I laughed. "This is crazy, but still. I heard Abe could kill anyone or anything with an axe."
"Bet he couldn't." Scarlet said.
"Oh? I'll take that bet." I said. "What's the wager?"
"I'll kiss you if Lincoln kills a single Cyberman with an axe." Scarlet said. "Look, you're blushing."
"No I'm not. I'll wager..." I trailed off, my face burning. What could I give her?
"One of you sonic screw-thingies." Scarlet said.
"Deal." I said, sticking my hand out. She shook on it, and we began the time travel to save Abraham Lincoln from Cybermen.
Try saying that with a straight face.