Chapter 10

Alright, gather 'round kids. Get some s'mores, some popcorn, a bag of chips, whatever. Uncle Tom's gonna tell you a story. Now, before I do, I should tell you there's some messed up shit in it. We're talking borderline NC-17 so if you guys get squeamish don't say I didn't warn you. So, a long time ago, in an Ohio State dorm…

Sorrento and I were rooming together for about two years. I had transferred over from community as a Programming major. We didn't really think about each other that much. It wasn't until I answered an ad for an internship at an experimental gaming company. I had no idea I was gonna be working for Gregarious Simulation Systems. And I had no idea I was gonna be working with Sorrento on a lot of projects. Turns out the guy had been working there a long time, pretty much my senior. I was put in charge of a few of the digital buildings and a proper algorithm for procedural generation. Pretty much I'm building entire cities and neighborhoods, districts and plazas, rebuilding cities from different universes. The MCU New York, DC's Metropolis and Gotham, London 1886, Neo Tokyo, Hong Kong. Meanwhile Sorrento wrote the AI for all the NPCs and characters. New York was full of commuters, pigeons and rats. Neo Tokyo was full of biker gangs and drug dealers. Gotham had criminals popping up left and right every night. Basically half the cities in the OASIS were established by us. Of course, we had to talk with each other whenever we had to make things like a fighting event or a quest. We eventually were asked to take part in the student exchange program by studying in Japan. There I met Kei Fujiwara. He was just starting to work in music production and was trying to get into Vocaloid. He even took me to a concert when he said Crypton Future Media was going to showcase his song. I couldn't get into it because the voices were so squeaky, but it was impressive how something so lifelike could come from a computer-synthesized program.

Once I got back to the US, I started to work a bit better. Well, I, Sorrento and Laila. And before you ask, no, we've never had a three way. Laila's pretty conservative anyways. But we did share a hoe one time. And to go on record, I highly doubt he could have any kids given his...caliber. Anyways, if there's one thing we bonded over, it's taking potshots at Halliday. Hey, if you don't shit-talk on your boss at least once you're not human. Most of the time it's about the idea of maybe, just maybe, overtaking him and actually making something bigger and better than the OASIS. Why restrict ourselves to a couple of pieces of pop culture when we can reinvent it. We could build an entire world from scratch, recreate the world and overtake Halliday at his own game. I beat him once already why not do it a second time. Laila wanted in on the idea too as well as other interns. She'd do the story, he'd do the programming and I'd do the graphics. Sure, we would have to copy a few things like RMTs and IRL purchasing to even hold up a candle to the OASIS, but if Treyarch can kill the trend setters and become the trend standards why can't we. But before we could even make a name for it, well...I threw it all away.

The US Army was recruiting people at our campus and you can tell they were looking for someone to recruit. It's like all they saw were engineers, officers and reservists that need to be ordered around. Me? I've been interested for a while. Like I said, Call of Duty, Battlefield, it's all interactive propaganda. And yeah, I fell for it. It wasn't the story that drew me in though, it was the gameplay. I thought that maybe if I was good at it in game, maybe I could become a soldier in real life. So on graduation day, getting out of Ohio State with my BS on Computer Graphics and Programming, I told everyone that I was enlisting in the US Army:

Laila: "Are you insane? They'll stick you in the Middle East as soon as you're done with basic!"

Mom: "If it's what you think is best for you, then I'll pray for your safe return."

Sis: "Kick some ass out there big bro!"

Majority of Professors: "Not exactly the best way to pay for your tuition. Another one falls into the jaws of the system"

That's just those guys though. They didn't have much to say.

Dad: He of course had an entire sermon to say about it. On one half, he started talking about how if I was doing it for money he could just loan it for me, only to double back and say that working for the government is the best thing to do since they give you so many benefits. So really, I have no idea if he was okay with me joining the military or not.

Sorrento: Nolan was flipping his shit. He wanted to make this project a reality. And in his opinion I was an important key in all of this. He said I could make things look good and shit. Like, I was the only computer graphics guy out there. But to be honest, I've seen others in my class do better than me. I can't be the best at it. It might actually be that I'm the one guy he trusted with the idea, since we're both planning to kill the OASIS.

Halliday: It happened a while after graduation. Halliday noticed I was stacking up my stuff in a box and asked why I was leaving. He then took me to his office to talk about new ideas and one thing that was concerning him. Turns out I wasn't the only one getting attention from the US Army…

The US Department of Defense were apparently funding Gregarious Simulation Systems in exchange for creating a realistic military combat simulator. We're talking sea, air and land. In other words, they want us to fight the wars before they even happen. And a fully interactive simulator that lets you fight multiple battles to figure out the best course of action is exactly what they wanted. And Halliday was the one who could provide. Of course, Morrow tried to ask them nicely to fuck off and let capitalism do capitalism. But, eventually they compromised by giving them the physics engine and a standalone rendition of modern day Earth. He called it Earth_WW3, because it was meant to prepare the troops for the Third World War. Ironic given how it ended up playing out.

The man had mixed emotions about helping out the US military. One one hand, it would be great PR for the OASIS. Who wouldn't like a 'We support the Troops' label on your product. Not to mention the money. But on the other hand, we know this can backfire gloriously. Halliday's the type of guy that's watched WarGames for the 1354th time in his life. And if there's one thing that movie, and any other movie has taught us, is that any time the US tries out new technology it has the potential to backfire horrifically. It also means the rest of the world probably has the same idea. At least it wasn't gonna have a gruesome outcome like all the other poor saps trying to imitate Tony Stark's suit in the trainwreck of a video at the congressional hearing from Iron Man 2. More on that later.

Anyhow, he was essentially asking me to be the unofficial godfather of Earth_WW3. He gave me an administrator's username and password so I could basically manage the content of the standalone and pretty much screw around with it. Again, more on that later.

So next thing I knew I was in a US Army barracks in Fort Jackson being yelled out by some bulldog hoping I'd crack. Staff Sergeant 'Bitch' Michaels, I've been yelled at by my own father and told much worse shit than what you're telling me. Not to mention been bullied at school from Day 1. Do your worst asshole, I fucking dare you. Okay I didn't actually say that to his face but that was the overall attitude I had. But really all I did was follow Forrest Gump's words and made my bed real neat, stand straight, and end my sentences with "Yes, Staff Sergeant!" It wasn't really that hard. I mean, I was pretty obese in some areas but you slim down after a couple of weeks. Plus, it's all really just mental strength. Seriously I've seen guys drop because they couldn't take the mental abuse and they were twice my size.

It wasn't long until I finished basic that I was asked to be part of the Army's Experimental Communications Operator Program. It's basically code for hacking, virus planting and wiretapping. I was interested in this stuff after Halliday gave me the codes to the simulation. I didn't know if I'd ever get to see it but I was damn well ready just in case. Plus the Army was really interested in having a couple of Blackhats available on the front lines. It's convenient to have a guy who knows how to use a knife, a gun and a keyboard.

And after that was done, I went into Ranger school. Staff Sergeant Michaels gave me the recommendation given that I managed to survive his chicken shit. I dunno, I was just trying to survive. So pretty much my training consisted of parachuting, mountain climbing, swamp wadding, you know the typical crap that they put you through in Fort Benning. And after that, I took Officer Training School, since I did have a four year and no way I was gonna take orders from a Sergeant. If anything I'm gonna be the one calling the shots. I ended up being the ninth best in the graduating class. Seriously, what the hell?! I should've been nowhere near the top.

Anyhow, this was when I met Hamilton, the gay adopted Chinese guy. No joke. We were pretty close but not in that way. Remember, gays don't go for every piece of sausage they see. Turns out the guy was adopted by a family in Georgia, which was great for him since that means he can visit his family a lot faster than most guys. Hell, I ended up visiting his family because mine was back in California. They called me and of course were thankful that I was still alive. I know I was too. As for Hamilton's family...they thought I was his boyfriend. Again, just because one guy is gay, doesn't suddenly mean that the two are gonna...honestly I have no idea how gays do it. I do know how straight people do it since, you know, that one time with Sorrento. But I did end up getting with a chick he introduced me to. You know, Clarice. And that Benji is how I met your mother...oh Neil Patrick Harris, you left us too soon. Seriously, I don't know if she was just that much of a virgin or just desperate. But yeah, she got me. I'm just glad her parents didn't freak out or anything. If anything it sounded like they were glad I fucked their daughter. Guess it helps to be a US Army Ranger.

But I did end up going back to California for a short visit with my folks, and heard that mom and dad were finally gonna apply for citizenship, given how I was now in the military and could vouch for them. Which was great. Pretty much meant that they could go back to Mexico to visit family and come back to the US without any repercussions. And it was this that let us travel freely, finally without any hassle or fear of repatriation. And with the OASIS declaring a partnership with FIFA, they were able to transmit the United 2026 via what they call the Stadium Experience. Using select seating and 360 video recording, they're able to drop you into the Stadium to let you enjoy the entire World Cup from start to finish. It was hard to explain to my Old Man but after he got the hang of it he genuinely enjoyed it. It was the game part that he couldn't get into. I guess it's just how he is.

I was then sent into action by 2026 and was tossed right into the soup of Afghanistan. Years of instability, conflict and pretty much everyone fucking it up have made a ton of people lose hope on any possibility of real peace. But we were getting close. The way the US military thought of it was like trying to play whack-a-mole. For me, it was like trying to kill a hydra hiding as a whack-a-mole booth. If you don't burn the stumps after cutting the heads off, two more will pop up. And we had our stage set in the vast desert of the Middle East.

Now, I know you're asking, "Wait a sec, didn't the US pull out a while ago?" And you'd be right. Glad someone knows their history. But we didn't account to the possibility that the Jihadists that were part of Al-Qaeda that later became ISIS will then become the New Soldiers of Mohammed in Afghanistan (NSMA...we're running out of acronyms for these assholes so we just call them Newmies.) Only difference is that unlike Daddy and Grandpy who fought in the real world, the Newmies did most of their dirty work in cyberspace. That's not to say they don't know how to use a gun, but why send a bunch of Jihadists to blow themselves up at a building an ocean away and possibly fail when you can just do it using your laptop? They also did crazier stuff like hacking into bank accounts, leaking valuable information from government servers, even public misinformation to the US. In other words, they turned the Middle East wars into a cyberwar.

Our objective is the same as before. There's a highway known as the Ring Road which not only connects all the major cities, but makes access to rural areas and villages a lot easier and effective. For the Newmies, they just need to make sure we can't use it by setting up IEDs, locking down villages to make outposts, hijacking towers to control information flow. So where do we start? Well, let's try with the major cities taking the brunt of the attacks: Mazari Sharif, Herat, Kanhadar and Kabul. Our goal was simple: head into the villages and operate with local Afghan forces to evict the NSMA. Simple, right? Well, not quite.

Most of the Rangers at the time didn't think of OASIS diving as a legitimate hobby. They just saw it as something YouTube gamers and geeks would get heavily invested in. Hamilton and I were really the only guys within our squads playing it. We found other guys within the base we were in and got together as a clan but it wasn't any bigger than five guys. What else was there for soldiers to do? Masturbate, go on social media, inspect equipment, masturbate, trade care package contents, masturbate, inspecting and securing sugar reports, did I forget masturbate?

Our first taste of action was during a patrol in Herat. Nothing out of the usual. Just a couple of guys wearing camouflage with only one of them wearing the Afghan uniform. It was some bastard named Saqqaf. But we ended up calling him Spock, mainly because he has seen Star Trek to the point that he started playing three-dimensional chess. I had to play with a rule page before I could even come close to beating him. Anyways, one minute we're just walking about, maybe thinking we're gonna get some falafel once we're off-duty. Then BOOM! IED! SHOCK AND AWE! NEWMIES ATTACKING FROM ALL CORNERS!

Once we actually went into action though, they have to adapt faster than us. The noise, the chaos, the sudden fear of dying, the adrenaline. For me and Hamilton,(and I think Spock) that's a different story. Since we've been using guns in the OASIS, and with the whole You're-sent-to-zero-if-you're-killed, we got a reason to treat it like the real world. Sure, we weren't rocket boosting but we did have the ARC goggles. We had our own little playbook, going by obstacles, heading to the top of buildings and pretty much kill anything the goggles detect has a gun. When the report came in that we were responsible for more than 10 casualties each, they had to find out what we did differently. When they found out we were playing the OASIS for a long time, they as hell tried to push it on everyone else. And the Army wasn't alone in that idea.

Later on we were tasked with going into a local village after hearing reports of small arms caches being hidden. We brought with us a couple of dogs and just let them out loose to look for them. Of course, we confronted more Newmies guarding the specific hut the village. They were tougher than the regulars and were able to shoot down some of the scouting drones. But they fell down all the same. It was the loot we found that was crazy. Normally we'd find a whole slew of assault rifles, IEDs, and whatnot but they had a hidden room full of computers and OASIS gear. They were probably using it as training too. But we found out there was more once we did unlock the sets. We figured out what was fueling their entire war machine.

Once I left GSS, they made a currency system to get some more revenue and create a fun little economy for the players. Little did they know that Newmies used this system to get money for their guns, food, shelter and governmental bribes. Technically you couldn't transfer in-game currency to real money. Basically you had to buy it or earn it by playing the game. But people are willing to pay real money to exchange it for in-game currency since you could do a lot with it in the OASIS. NSWA had apparently made a clan to make their cash, communicate with other cells, even cause a little online terror. We found plans to purchase the Cataclyst and collect all the loot the avatars dropped (seriously Halliday, you're a fucked up asshole).

When I told this to the Brass, they thought I was just some guy playing too many video games. Really fuckers? What gave it away? The former GSS Internship? The OASIS gear in my personal stuff? The fact that I can headshot ten sand monkeys? (apologies to any Middle Easterners reading this) So instead I went with the second best choice: Outsource the problem to other gamers. I got in contact with Sorrento to try to help me out since he was still in GSS kissing up to Halliday and Morrow. The guy was still pissed off at me, but knew that if we had any chance of taking down NSMA it would be using the OASIS.

So he and I started an underground campaign to take down all the clans affiliated with NSMA. He'd take care of the in-game front by tracking when and where the players are, listening in on their plans, etc. We even started making propaganda on forums with the gamertags I found. We called it the Newmie Blacklist. Stalk 'em. Hunt 'em. Save the world. And any moment someone hacked their rigs and mentioned a location, Sorrento would sent it to a journalist with brass connections. Apparently they will listen to a story weaver but not their own soldiers.

So we were given a capture order for some guy nicknamed Siad Alnasr, "The Eagle Hunter". He's the guy who makes the money for NSMA. It was a simple job. Breach a guy's home with family and all and snatch him up in a carpet burrito. Well, we had no idea his family was still inside with him. We went in and had the family cornered, just a man with his wife and a 14 year old boy. We of course took the guy but I insisted we also take the boy. Because? Well guess what happened to be in his person. A pair of haptic gloves and headset. Do you know what it takes for a 2nd Lieutenant to convince a Major to take the kid? And fuck it. Take the mother too. She's a sitting duck out in the open.

And my hunch was right. The father didn't know squat about the OASIS, kinda like my old man. But the canary sang and we got what we needed: a connection to the first Red Clan and a way to get them to fight on our own terms. Spock, Ham and I were really the only experts in our team so we were tasked with going covert and working with the family to draw out the Newmies from their holes. But that's what we told the Brass. In the OASIS, me, Spock, Hamilton, Sorrento, and a whole army of players to harass the Newmie clans. That's just phase one. Phase two was sent out by Sorrento himself. With the help of Halliday, we designed a special type of item for these assholes meant to pretty much make their gear useless, and track their last known location. Since they still needed an address to receive checks and stuff, the implanted viruses would pretty much look into their files for it. Then phase three kicks in. Once we have a solid location for them, we send in raid teams to take down each location, with the lead Nu'maan el-Koroma getting the honor of execution by SEAL Team Six.

At first it seems like we were finally gonna get rid of the these assholes and we were hopefully gonna go home. I knew I finally wanted to just head back home, kick back, dive into the OASIS and maybe give Benji a couple of pointers from an old pro and GSS architect. But life doesn't like to go the way I want it to sometimes. After a couple of weeks of providing ground support to some of the special ops units, we were asked to volunteer for patrols again, for the last Goddamn time. It was me, Spock, Ham and a few other soldiers whose names I forget. There was also Pvt Zandor, an Army chick that grew tired not of the jock's shit, but my shit and Ham's. Jocks she could deal with since they could get into some serious trouble with sexual harassment. But Ham and I were a kiss away from being a nerdy gay couple. She was one of those Army-is-Life type Tomboys that is constantly cleaning her rifle like she was imitating male masturbation. Anytime she caught me slacking off or just being un-officerlike she'd give us lip. Thing is, I've caught her in numerous situations where she's actually initiated the confrontation, like that time she beat up a guy because he turned his head towards her. The guy was focusing on the LAV behind her when she was walking on base. Jesus fuck! I probably should've reported her ass to my superiors but I was hoping showing only a little bit of mercy would maybe humble her...I was wrong.

There was also some guy that was supposedly from the CIA. Name was Farnsworth. He wanted to talk to me about maybe getting me into some crazier bullshit he had planned. If everything went well, I'd be discharged from the Army and not do the full eight years. Anyhow, before we left, Spock and I had one more match of three dimensional chess. We explained the basic rules to Farnsworth to make sure he was on board as we moved pieces. In a way, it's kinda like modern warfare. You could argue that one dimension of the board represents the physical world, soldiers, tanks, ships, aircraft. Another could be cyberspace, wiretaps, logic bombs, hacks. And then the third is the civilian public, reserves, resources, corporate and government backing. And finally the politicians, sitting in their own separate dimension seemingly unaffected by the wars on other dimensions. But they are all connected, and one action can affect and is affected by other. Anyways this was the one time I actually beat that bastard. He was one step away from winning but I was able to cut off his moves while setting up my own strategy. I don't know what was more surprising for Farnsworth, that an Afghan soldier was a fan of Star Trek, or that 3D chess was actually playable.

During the patrol in a bazaar, we were approached by an old man in his 40s tugging a goat with him. Turns out the guy wanted to give us his wife...and by wife, we mean goat. Yeah, I think the joke died with the rest of the Newmies. Anyways, we tried to tell him we couldn't take the goat, mostly because we had no clue as to what to do with it. I mean, it's a farm animal given to a bunch of citykids. But Spock said he'd take it in. But then that happened.

The Newmies had bought enough material to make a final dirty bomb, and well, we were the final targets. They had it hidden inside of a plastic wrapped PC tower and had it put in the bazaar. From what I was told the guy didn't check to see what was in it either because he was afraid, or was in on it. The tower was then bought by one of the the Newmies, dropped the tower right in front of us, and boom...we were on the news.

I think I don't need to tell you how fucked up a dirty bomb is. The concussive blast is the first thing to probably kill you. If you're the unlucky bastard to survive, then you have to deal with the radioactive isotopes that can come out of it. I was quick to put on my mask and cover my skin. We had to evacuate as many people as we could from the area and get them to a secure location for decontamination. Whatever was in that bomb was already making a few people throw up. The goat was pretty much undercooked Mediterranean takeout, and so was the old guy. A few kids were sick, women, men, and animals. And well, even Spock got hit real hard. The guy's gas mask wasn't working too well and his lungs were contaminated making him puke hard. I couldn't really do anything for him other than get him an O2 tank and flush his skin with a hose. We kept on working on saving some of the other civilians, with some of them being diagnosed with cancer, others just being wheeled out for identification and surrender. And on the third day, the fucker asked me to bring his chess set. And what does he fucking tell me? To hold on to it until Allah let's us see each other again. He moves one pawn and that's about it...one, fucking pawn.

I'm not gonna say I cried my eyes out that moment. It's this weird thing I have where I can actually hide my crying and let it out when the coast is clear. Rule of High School: Never let anyone see you cry. It's a sign that they got to you. The same applies in the Army. You want to find a nice corner or go out into the wild. OASIS headgear is a good alternative too. Now they tell you that grief works like this: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Bullshit. It depends on the personality, intensity, trauma type, and cause of trauma. First you gather up all your emotions, knowledge, memories, then just find the time and place to let it all blow out. Some people do it in one massive explosion, some in small bursts like a box of Pop-its. Once it's all out, you just have to move on, be grateful for the experience and learn from it. This was the bottling.

The release let's say was a bit more unsatisfying. I was pissed off of course. Nu'maan el-Koroma: I wanted that fucker dead. I wanted that fucker to suffer real bad. Get a couple of holes blown in him. Maybe get a few scarabs shoved up his ass before we make him swim with Bin Laden. I asked the guys in the SEAL Team if they'd let me in on the operation. They managed to bullshit me in with the excuse that I as one of the few people that can hack OASIS gear should go just in case. A few days later, we were given orders to withdraw.

A few weeks after the Dirty Bomb, some kid reported a collapsed man in the alley by a shwarma joint in Baghdad. The guy had been starved out, covered in cancerous moles and sent on the slow cruise down the river Styx. This, is what happened to Nu'maan el-Koroma. The man that once posed a threat to the Western world, left to rot in an alley with nothing but a pair of OASIS goggles, haptic gloves, and five bucks in cash. The kid now was living off the reward money given to him by the FBI. I always asked what happened to that money if the CIA or other government entity ends up finding someone on their own.

Once back stateside in 2029, I was kinda lost. I mean, back in the Middle East I saw guys I partnered up with, honest working people, kids trying to just go to school, killed right in front of me. All of that happened thousands of miles away, on the other side of the world while my family bickers amongst themselves. My kid is left to just go learn about the world through the eyes of his mother, his grandparents, and his young avatar. He had no idea of all the shit I had to do to ensure he never sees Hell. And holy fuck I owe my dad an apology for all the times I opened my big fat mouth.

I tried to move on by getting me, my dad and Benji into some grandfather/father/son bonding. Basically it was just having him around while me and the old man did something like mow the lawn, fishing or working on the old Mustang. I somehow managed to do most of the stuff without dad yelling. Mostly because I was making much fewer mistakes and Benji could beat him in a cry battle. Mom and Clarice bitched each other, calling one an old hag and the other a puta(Spanish for whore). But the Torres boys? They were enjoying themselves while they could. Kicking soccer balls, learning new languages, fixing shit, wrecking shit, making and changing shit. (Seriously Benji, you shit so bad that I could've made a WMD with it. And I kinda did.)

But of course, Farnsworth asked me to go back to and work for DARPA. They wanted me to help train a Delta team to use new equipment. And of course, I'd lead as a 1st Lieutenant. I had a bad feeling about it but all I cared about was heading back to Benji, Clarice, mom, dad and little sis…

Well, I'm fucking tired. I'll tell you guys the rest later. Probably already know about it anyways. Benji, wake me up when we reach Guadalajara. Pop's is gonna take a nap.