CH.10
It's Got Something Special About It.
JUSTIN'S P.O.V STILL
"yup, we do" I answered, "and we better start now" i continued. chris nodded slightly starring in front of himself and Chaz and Ryan sighed. we all walked back into Christian's room
"so, about what you two were talking about earlier, the whole "you had feelings for him" thingy.." Ryan said smirking at me and Chaz as we all just stood up in the middle room looking at each other. "mind explaining?" he continued
"well, the the thing is, i've, always, uum, 'had feelings' for you and Justin felt the same way about Chris. I know, kinda creepy! bit it's true" Chaz explained to them
"wait so, you two were together, but each one of you knew that the other 'had feelings' for someone else?" Christian asked, "yup! pretty much" I answered
"ooh. ok" he said looking at the floor. i sighed, "guys seriously! we should really start discussing! i can't take this anymore!" I said almost yelling, "Justin i know that we have so much to discus, but i can't really figure out what that even is!" Chaz said
"maybe we could start with the fact that each one of us have made out with all of the three other guys in this room! guys we need to know what exactly is on! who's with who and all these stuff!" i almost-yelled again
"good point!" Chaz said
"ok so, maybe a, kissing test?" Ryan suggested, i gave him a confused look before he started explaining, "each one of us will kiss the other three, and, just, test the sparks!"
"ok then, i'll go first!" i volunteered, "hey! not fair! i wanna go first!" Chaz complained, "dude! he'll kiss you as well!" Ryan told him, "good point!" Chaz said with a grin on his face, i rolled my face and chuckled at him, and so did Ryan and Chris.
We were standing in a square, ryan was to my right, Chaz on my left, and Chris in the middle of the two of them.
"ok well, i'll start from my right, and that'd be Ryan" I said smirking at Chaz, he gave the (-.-) look and i chuckled at him. I looked at Ryan and leaned in, and so did he. our lips touched and i did feel a spark! maybe he could be the one..who've ever that it could be Ryan? I enjoyed myself and totally forgot about Chaz and Chris. i had my arms wrapped around his neck and he had his around my waist.
We kissed for about a minute and were about to go on and on if we hadn't heard Chris clearing his throat, "next please?" he said. we pulled away and i smiled looking in his eyes. "ooh well, Chris, your turn" i said getting closer to him.
We both closed our eyes and leaned in, our lips touched. again, i did feel a spark! and fate hates me! how come i felt a spark with both of them?
My thoughts and our kiss were interrupted by Caitlin walking into the room and starring at the two of us with wide eyes. we pulled away quickly the second we heard her loud gasp. "why, are, my boyfriend, and my brother making out? annnd why do Ryan and Chaz have boners?" she asked. i quickly looked over at Ryan and Chaz and smirked at them. i was afraid i was close from getting one as well..
Chaz quickly walked over to the door, where Caitlin was standing by, pulled her in, closed the door, and looked back at us, "ok guys now we have to rape her then kill her" he said jokingly, I'm guessing Caitlin didn't realize that. "WHAT?" she yelled almost peeing in her pants. "he's kidding Cait! I'm not about to rape my sister!" Christian said. Chaz chuckled, "yeah and I'm not about to rape a girl!" he said before walking back over to us. "you guys have so much to explain!" Caitlin yelled at us.
i sighed, "we know that, and let me start" i said, but before i could say anything else Caitlin started yelling at me, "ESPECIALLY YOU! OH MY GOD! JUSTIN, YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND! SO WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME NOW? THAT YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH MY BROTHER? OH MY GOSH!" she said almost breaking down in tears. i just stood there watching silently, just like the other guys did. Caitlin was starring at me with her killing eyes, she looked at Chris and he ducked his head down trying not to look in her eyes.
"Cait can you please just at least listen to me? it's not about me, it's about us. and by 'us' i mean, me and, the guys" i told her. she sighed and tried to calm herself down, "yes I'm sorry. i just.." and she sighed again. "just give me a second".
She took a few deep breaths and sighed, "you can start now"
"well, i know you might get mad, but, i was, kinda, cheating on you with Chaz for the past about 7 months. and we both had always known that we're gay. your brother and Ryan on the other hand, they kinda just turned gay today. and just to clear things up, no, me and Chaz were never official, we were just, you know, sex buddies!" i watched as her facial expressions changed. "but we kinda decided to become official this morning. and, we both did love each other, but i also have always loved Christian, and Chaz have always had feelings for Ryan as well. and today, it's just that, so much had happened, and we were just trying to discus who should be with who and that whole thing" i explained to her.
"what do you mean who should be with who? aren't you with Chaz already?" she asked
"well you see, like i just said, so much had happened today, and each one of us had kinda made out with the other 3, so basically, none of us really knows who they really are into" i answered
"ooh, ok. and why were you two kissing?" she asked pointing at me and Christian
"because we were trying out something called 'the kissing test'" Chris told her this time
"oookaay, but you know that this 'test' never works, right?"
"well, we just thought we could maybe just give it a try" Chaz said
"no Chaz, you just wanted to kiss someone" she told him, me, Ryan, and Chris laughed little. "you gotta admit you're a horny little boy"
"maybe i am, but i like it" he told her smirking. she rolled her eyes, "whatever. so, i think i could help you guys a little" she said
"really? even after everything i did to you?" i asked her. "yeah, well, i know being gay is not something that you can control" she answered. i smiled at her, "thanks. and by the way, I'm sorry, for everything" i told her. she gave me a warm smile before telling me that it's ok. "and by the way, you know it's over, right?" she asked me with a smile showing e that she wasn't really mad at me. i chuckled, "yeah, i do"
"so, how are you going to help us?" Ryan asked
"well, first of all, you don't really need to kiss" she said and Chaz gave her an evil eye. "you just gotta let out everything inside your hearts. just say who you like, what you like about him, and what you hate about him. Ryan, you go first" she said
"well, ok. that's kinda problem. i like all three of them! i can't choose!" he said
"yeah, neither can I", "same here", "here too" Chaz, Christian and I followed
"ok the, forget about who you like! who do you love? don't you feel anything special toward someone...special?" she asked
"I'm not sure.." Ryan answered. for a few seconds there was wondering silent. and i broke it, "i think I'm still in love with Christian" i said looking at the floor far away in front of me. i glanced over at Chris with the corner of my eyes and saw a grin appearing on his face. "i, kinda feel the same way. i always have." he said almost whispering to himself. i smiled really big at him, "Caitlin, can you please leave for a second?" i asked her not taking my eyes off of Chris, but i felt the smile in her voice as she said okay before leaving.
as soon as the door was completely shut, i pulled Christian in for one of the most passionate kisses i've ever had in my entire life. we kissed for about a minute and we felt Ryan's and Chaz's eyes starring at us the whole time. it's like they're watching porn and i knew they liked it ;)
we pulled away and i looked at Ryan and Chaz, they both had boners. at that moment i realized that i might not be able to stay away from them. the moment i thought that it was all finally ok and settled down, this popped up and now i have to go back to searching for a solution. how am i supposed to put that in words to tell them?
my thoughts were interrupted when i noticed that Chaz had closed his eyes, his breath was rapid, and the boner was still there. he was turned on and i knew it. suddenly something happens and the first thing i knew is that Chaz and Ryan have left the room. ooh god.
CHAZ'S P.O.V
seeing Justin and Christian making out has a lot to me, like; 1-kinda broke my heart. 2-got me so, SO ,SO turned on!
now let's talk about the first action. it's not that I'm still in love with Justin or anything, i mean, I'm not! but me and him have had a long, beautiful past. and that is something i don't want to give up or throw away. i still have feelings for him, but right now I'm just in love with Ryan, but that doesn't prevent me from wanting Justin. i want to be with Ryan, but i want Justin. but from what i had just seen, Justin was enjoying that kiss and every second of it. as much as i wanted him, I also wanted him to be happy. and maybe he just can't be happy with me. he doesn't want me anymore. and i wish i could stop wanting him and move on like he did.
Darn Caitlin! Justin was about to kiss me before if she hadn't walked in on us! maybe that would have been my last kiss with Justin, i want a picture of that to always remember it.
Now, to the second point. just let me point out that both of Justin and Christian and two very hott guys! and seeing them making out like that really did turn me on. the whole 'kissing test' already did, and i tried to stop it. but seeing them make out again isn't really helping.
But what really helped in turning me on was remembering the first point. Justin and our 'past'. with us it was never about feelings or romance until this morning. it was always about the sexual stuff only, and remembering that was a very important reason of my turn-on.
I had to let it all out on someone, and Ryan should be mine now, shouldn't he?
i pulled him by the arm to the other room, Caitlin was there. "uum, could you give us a moment please?" i asked her nicely. "sure! just, don't feel too free, ok?" she told us motioning to the bed, i rolled my eyes at her, "sure, yeah, whatever"
She smirked at us and walked out of the room, i turned to Ryan, and surprisingly, he was the one attacking me with kisses. but of course i kissed back 'til i felt the need to ask him something.
So i pulled away, but was still holding him and so was he. his hands were actually on my face and mines were on his neck. "Ryan, when you said that you weren't sure, were you telling the truth?" i asked. our faces were so close that our lips were touching and with every word I said they were brushing against his. "no, i was just too afraid that you didn't feel the same" he answered after giving another kiss. i smiled at him and kissed him again, "well, i do" i said and we started making out again. Soon we were tonguing and french kissing, i wished we could take it a bit further, but Caitlin would plant chinese eating sticks in my eyes. so i'd rather just keep it 'simple and easy'.
JUSTIN'S P.O.V
as soon as Chaz and Ryan left, Christian looked at me with a sexy smile, i smiled back at him and we kissed for a little while before he stopped. "Justin, i have to tell you something" he said. "you know that you could tell me anything, right?"
"yeah, well. this's way harder than i thought" he said looking down
"wh-what do you mean?" i asked him
"Justin, Ryan was my first kiss, and that kiss, it was something! and so were Chaz's kisses. i am not saying that i don't love you or that you are a bad kisser! i do, and you're amazing! but i miss theirs. for some reason i felt sparks kissing them as well. I'm sorry, i don't want you to be mad at me, and I'm not saying that i don't want to be your boyfriend or anything, the only reason I'm saying this is because i needed to be honest with you if i ever wanted this to workout, even if it meant telling you that i miss someone else's kisses" he explained, it's really creepy how i felt the same way.
"Chris, don't worry, i've kinda, felt the same thing" i told him. he pulled me closer and hugged me, his head on my chest and i put mine on his shoulder. "do you think we gotta do something about it?" he asked never pulling away. "i don't know. i really don't" i replied
RYAN'S P.O.V
i never realized hoe much i loved him before. and i wonder how i never noticed the way he felt about me.
i mean, he had always been so nice to me, even if i was wrong. when everyone is blaming me for something, he isn't. he's usually there telling me that it's ok and it will all turn out to be just fine. he'd always laugh at all my jokes, takes every chance to be alone with me or even with other people, he have never fought with me before over anything. even when i once made fun of his mom he said nothing. he's the one always being nice to me and starring at me, i do notice it sometimes, but this never accrued to me. yeah he kinda have been doing the same with Justin lately, but i never doubted a thing.
i was still making out with Chaz, and for a second i had a feeling that i was kissing Justin, and his hands on my neck felt like Christian's. i almost freaked out, but i had to open my eyes and check, nope. it was Chaz. why the hell did i just get that feeling? ooh well, his kisses do feel a lot like Justin's, maybe because they used to kiss each other a lot, they just learn from each other. and these thoughts reminded me of how amazing Justin's kisses were. they were soft, aggressive, loving, and feisty all at the same time, if that makes sense. but they were. they were something that i'd surely love and remember forever. And Christian's touch! god wasn't he just as amazing! but he never had to kiss me to make me go crazy, just something about his touch was the key. everytime he touched me i wanted more, he kisses me and gives me what i want. but it's never enough. you can NEVER have enough of Justin and Christian, they're very addictive, i still want more of them. now!
GOSH WHAT AM I SAYING? NO! I LOVE CHAZ AND ONLY CHAZ! phew! but, well again, it's not like i love Justin or Christian. i just, love what they do. it's got something special about it.