Chapter 10: The Return and Adjusting to Home
Within an hour of leaving the house in Santa Fe, Mary and Alex arrived at the airport and quickly made their way up to the gate to board the plane. The flight took about seven hours thanks to a layover in Chicago, so the two women didn't touch down at JFK until well past midnight. Alex was exhausted, but luckily Mary already had a car waiting for them to take them to the hotel so they didn't have to wait for one to arrive. The agent had found a nice place on the Upper West Side that honored the government rate and booked adjoining rooms for her and Alex's week long stay.
Alex had her meeting with the federal psychiatrist on Wednesday, but she would've been more than ready to meet with her the minute she arrived. She wanted to get all of this over with so that she could get on with her life, but all she could do was be patient until her appointment was over and her paperwork was processed.
In the days that followed their arrival, Alex opted to spend her time outside smelling the New York air and taking in the sights and sounds of home. It was like getting back together with an old girlfriend; it was familiar but at the same time, the effects of the years gone by were evident as she explored her once-familiar concrete jungle.
Of course the week passed by in the blink of an eye, which had been known to happen in New York, and Alex found herself sitting in the psychiatrist's waiting room early on Wednesday morning. There was a plaque on the door that read "S. Gordon" and Alex could only speculate about the woman who was waiting for her on the other side. Naturally, when the door opened and Alex finally got to see at her, the doctor looked nothing like what the blonde had envisioned.
Dr. Sarah Gordon was used to dealing with WITSEC releases and the majority of her practice focused on treating people with PTSD that stemmed from one cause or another. Sarah had treated everything from abused children and women to rape victims, to former military personnel. A third of her patients, however, were referred to her through the Federal Government. The Marshals required anyone that was being released from the program to be in a healthy and stable frame of mind before they could be integrated back into their old life. Sarah's assessments satisfied the Marshals while still keeping her patients confidence. Sarah had been studying Alexandra Cabot's case file when the secretary announced Miss Cabot's arrival. Sarah closed the file and stood to open the door, calling out to the blonde as she sat in one of the waiting room chairs, "Miss Cabot, please come in."
Alex stood up and walked towards the office, Sarah stepping aside to let her walk in.
As she passed by her, Alex looked over the young woman. She was a little shorter than her, maybe 5'8", with long brown hair and blue eyes. If Alex had to take a guess, she figured the doctor to be about 28 or 29. All in all, she was the complete opposite of what she anticipated. She thought the doctor would be a stout older woman with graying hair pulled tightly into a bun, but she wasn't going to complain. She sat down on the leather couch near the bookcase and smiled politely, "This is a nice office."
Sarah smiled as she noticed Miss Cabot studying her. She knew her appearance sometimes threw people off, but she couldn't help it that she was a child prodigy and earned her PhD at the age of 21. She was now 29 and was already well known and well respected in her field. She cleared her throat when Miss Cabot spoke, "Um thank you. Would you like something to drink before we begin?"
"No, I'm fine thank you. I'm just ready to get this over with. No offense."
"None taken. It seems to be a common theme with WITSEC releases. So tell me, how long were you in the program?"Sarah already knew the answer, but she liked to start with something simple before she moved into the emotional areas.
"Since 2004. I was moved 3 times while I was in."
Sarah nodded, "I see. So five years of pretending to be someone you're not. And not just one person, but three, during that time. How did you manage it?"
"I did what I had to do. I followed the rules, I stuck to my story, and I did my job...I survived,"she said, trying to keep all emotion out of her voice.
"Miss Cabot, why were you moved three times?"Sarah noticed the lack of emotion in her voice and wanted to find a way to crack through the facade she was hiding behind.
"The first time was because I was recognized by someone in the office where I worked. I was moved to Wisconsin and I became Emily Summers. I stayed there until there was a development in the case I had been working when I was 'killed,' so I came back to testify and put away the man who shot me," she said, her eyes staring off into space as she remembered sitting on the stand and confronting Liam Connors. "After that, I was sent to New Mexico and that's when I became Vicky Harrison..."
"I see. You said you survived. What does that mean?" she asked, wanting to understand where Alex was coming from.
"I got up, I went to work, I came home, and went to bed. I'd repeat the same steps day after day, sometimes going to the store after work or the mall, but that's about it. I got by while I waited to come home," she said honestly.
"Yes, but there was no guarantee you would ever return to your old life, it would be natural to want to find some...security and companionship. Didn't you want that? A relationship, maybe a family someday?" Sarah was curious to know why an attractive woman like Alex would hide in her house like a hermit instead of trying to find someone to share her time with.
"Of course I wanted to find someone, but I also knew that I didn't want to live a lie and being a lesbian isn't exactly easy in a small town. I think there was also a part of me that wanted to wait for Olivia so I just sort of crawled into myself and I didn't have a reason to come back out until I met Kate in Santa Fe..."
Sarah noticed that when Alex mentioned Olivia, her eyes were impassive, but when she mentioned Kate, a spark flared briefly. It was the first sign of emotion she'd witnessed since the blonde had walked into her office. Sarah smiled, "Tell me about Kate in Santa Fe."
Alex smiled, "I wouldn't even know where to begin. Short version: She was in town on vacation, we met one evening and spent the next two weeks falling in love with each other. I honestly thought my heart was going to stop beating when she came back to New York..." She lowered her eyes and let out a sigh, "It's been almost a year since she left me, since I talked to her. I don't even know how to explain all of this to her."
Sarah was amazed at the transformation that came over Alex's face when she spoke about Kate. "So she lives in New York? That must have caused quite an uproar with your handler when she found out about her. Did Agent Shannon ever learn of Kate and where she was from?"
"Not that I'm aware of. All she told me was that I was not allowed to contact her and I was monitored for six months. No e-mail, no phone calls, nothing..." She didn't want this doctor to know that she had in fact found a way around Mary's orders, but only once and only to let Kate know that she'd be out of touch while she was taking care of some important things. She couldn't let her girlfriend think she'd forgotten about her.
Sarah nodded, "So it's been a year since you've had any contact with her? That must've been hard for you, to cut off all contact. I assume, now that you're back in your old life, that you'll try to find her. Tell me, what if you do find her and she's moved on? What if she's with someone else? How will you deal with that? I ask because I want to let you know that this doesn't have to be our only session."Agent Shannon had already told Sarah that Miss Cabot wasn't receptive to the optional extra sessions but she decided to make the offer anyway.
"I-I don't know...I don't believe that Kate would move on, but I suppose if I'm going to be realistic, then there is a possibility. If she has..." She cleared her throat in an attempt to keep her tears at bay. "Then I'll be happy for her and deal with my pain on my own...I've done it before."
Sarah felt a stab of sympathy for her patient, "I have no doubt you would be selfless enough to not stand in the way of her happiness, but if she has moved on, you don't have to deal with your pain on your own. I can help you because there are some situations you really shouldn't handle on your own." Sarah paused to let that sink in before she said, "Now, on a less emotional topic, you've been in town for a few days now, how is the transition going?"
"Great. I love being here...I feel like I'm alive again. I haven't felt like this since I was with Kate and now I'm home and I just keep telling myself that if I can find her, maybe we can make all of this work...I have hope for the first time in five years and it feels amazing,"she said, her face glowing from the sheer happiness she felt from being back in New York.
Sarah smiled, "So, other than finding Kate, do you have any plans for your life now that you're back? Any thoughts on what you will do job-wise? What about reconnecting with old friends or colleagues?"
Alex shrugged, "I haven't figured that out yet. I mean, I enjoy law, but I'm not sure if I want to go back to the DA's office and I'm not really a fan of private practice. As for my friends, I'm sure I'll figure it out with time, but for now, I just want to absorb everything and then, when the time is right, I'll get in touch with old them. I need to re-learn how to be Alexandra Cabot and I'm not sure I can do that with my friends around influencing me."
Sarah nodded, "That's very natural. It can be difficult to find your own identity when others are imposing their expectations on you." Sarah took a moment to think about how to word her next question. Sarah had read a notation that Agent Hammond had made about some rumors that he had overheard when working on the original case about Alex and Detective Benson and shed been wondering how to work it in to the session. "Um, Miss Cabot, your file mentioned that when you first entered the program, you insisted on letting two detectives know you were alive when the rest of the world thought you were dead. Detectives Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson. Detective Stabler is a happily married man so I don't think you were trying to spare him the pain of thinking you were dead. Its my theory that you were trying to spare Detective Benson. Where does she fit in now that you are back and focused on Kate?"
She took a moment to think about how she wanted to answer. "Well, the thing is, Olivia isn't ready to admit to herself or her closest friends the truth about who she is. She is well within her rights to not say anything, but I don't feel comfortable with lying about who I am anymore. Kate is willing to be open and that's what I want. So I'm not sure if Olivia fits into my life at all anymore."
"I see...and what if she's ready now? What if she learns you're in town and she finds you and wants you back? What if she's willing to come out? Miss Cabot, have you allowed yourself to consider the possibility that Olivia might be ready to be what you need?"
"No, I haven't. I'm in love with Kate. That's not going to change regardless of where Olivia stands on her sexuality. If she's open, then I'll be happy for her. If not, then I'll continue to hope she finds the courage to accept who she is."
Sarah nodded and hoped Alex would find her happiness with Kate. She would've continued on this line of inquiry but she noticed that their time was almost over. "Miss Cabot, I'm sorry, but we're almost out of time. Like I said before, if you ever need to talk to, someone impartial, I'm here."
Alex nodded and stood up. She extended her hand to the doctor and said, "It was a pleasure to meet you and I hope everything is satisfactory for my file."
Sarah shook her hand and then stood up and turned to her desk, "It was a pleasure to meet you as well, Miss Cabot." Sarah turned back to Alex, "I sincerely hope that your transition into your old life goes smoothly, but here's my card just in case." She handed Alex her business card, which contained both her office and personal numbers. "Yes, your file will be properly settled."
Alex took the card and looked at it. "So that's what the S. stands for...Sarah Gordon...you know, I seem to recall a character with that name...she was on that soap...what is it? One Life to Live?"
Sarah grinned, "Yeah, I get that more often than you'd think. But if I recall correctly, I was born before the character was brought on the show. That's why I have only my first initial on my door, keeps people from forming preconceived notions about me."Sarah had already run into some issues with her patients because of her age and shed grown tired of not being taken seriously. The last thing she needed was to add to that by having people recognize her name thanks to some soap opera.
"Well, your secret is safe with me, Dr. Gordon. Just a happy coincidence," she said with a smile. "Thank you for everything and if I ever do need to talk to someone, I'll keep you in mind."She left the doctor's office and met Mary, who was outside in the waiting room.
Sarah watched her leave and smiled. She liked Miss Cabot. She waved at Agent Shannon and then closed the door to go back to her notes. She was going to meet with Agent Shannon the following day to discuss Alex's mental state, but in the meantime she went back to her desk to sort out her notes and prepare her report.
Mary Shannon had arrived about 15 minutes into Alex's session and sat down to read a magazine while she waited for Alex to finish. As the blonde approached, she stood up and asked, "So, how'd it go?"
"Great. She's very nice,"Alex said, not wanting to reveal anything she'd talked about with Dr. Gordon.
Mary smiled, "Good. So, how about we go grab some lunch and you show me something in this city that you love?"Mary decided to let Alex take the lead and show off her town. It was a way for Mary to help Alex transition back to her old life.
Alex nodded and asked, "Are you a fan of sushi? I know a great little place near here that we can go to before I take you to one of my favorite places."
"Sounds good, lead the way."Mary held her hand out in a gesture for Alex to walk ahead of her.
They left the building and walked down the street past the courthouse, Alex stopping for just a moment as she recalled many memories about that building. She sighed heavily and apologized to Mary, "Sorry. I forgot we'd be walking by here. I used to come here almost every day for work."
Mary look up at the courthouse and really studied at it before she returned her gaze to Alex,"Nothing to be sorry about, this place is important to you, to who you were before you went into the program and now, you have to figure out where this place fits in with who you are now...if it even does. Come on, let's go eat I'm hungry."Mary gently tugged on Alex's sleeve in a playful manner.
Alex snapped out of her melancholy and chuckled, "Ok." She led her about two blocks up the street to a small sushi restaurant. There was a small crowd of people, but they were seated quickly and the waiter brought them two bowls of miso soup to enjoy while they were looking at their menus. "No matter how good the sushi was in Albuquerque, it just couldn't compare to this place."
Mary grinned, "Yeah well...considering that its mostly desert, I can understand that." Mary looked over the menu and decided on something simple. She looked up at Alex, "So, tell me, what's the one thing that you held on to from your old life, that helped you through the program?"
"I guess if it was anything, it was the memory of my mother...that's why I was so afraid that the house in Amherst had been sold. I grew up there...I wanted to have some sort of connection to that time, to my mom. It was the only thing I had left after she died,"she said, the pain still clear in her voice.
Mary nodded, "Then I guess it's a good thing that she transferred it to your name. I'm curious though, why did she give you the big house rather than the townhouse? It seems to me that the house in Amherst is more suitable for a family, not a single lawyer."
Alex took a sip of water and thought about how she was going to answer. "Well, probably because she always wanted me to settle down and have a family. She wanted me to get out of the city and have a couple of kids with a partner that would treat me right. I understand why she wanted that, but it wasn't going to happen as quickly as she wanted." She thought back to when shed introduced Olivia to her mother and how the elder Cabot had come to accept Alex for who she was.
Mary smiled at the fond tone in Alex's voice, "Yeah it seems to be a common theme with moms to want grandkids and for their own children to be settled... especially the girls. Did she know about...you know, your...affinity for the fairer sex?"Mary tried to be tactful with her question.
"She did. I told her about Olivia about a month after we started dating and she met her one evening for dinner. She came into the city and we stayed at the townhouse overnight. She was nice to her, but I don't think she fully understood our relationship. It wasn't until much later that she accepted me for who I am and thankfully nothing changed. She loved me just as much as always and I was happy."
Mary noticed something in Alex's tone, "So um...now that you're back and free, I know you're going to want to find Kate, but what about Olivia?"
"She and I aren't good for each other. She's got her demons and I can't watch her get sucked down by them. If I see her, that's great, but I'm not going to seek her out. I can't."
"Ok, that makes sense I suppose." Mary paused a moment then she smiled, "Well I hope that things work out with Kate then, you deserve to be happy now that you're back in your life."Mary wondered how long it would take Alex to realize that she was using Kate's name when, as far as Alex knew, Mary shouldn't know her mystery woman's name.
The waiter brought their food and set it down before leaving. Alex took out her chopsticks from their package and picked up a roll, "So when exactly did you find out who Kate was?"She peered at the Marshal and popped the roll into her mouth.
Mary grinned as she picked up one of her spicy tuna rolls. She looked at Alex and replied, "I checked the manifest and ran each of the womens' names through the DMV database. Once I had all the photos, I ran a comparison with the security footage of you and the mystery woman at the gate and came up with a name. After that it wasn't too hard to run a background check on her."Mary brought the roll to her lips and winked as she ate it.
Alex shook her head, "Of course. You had all the bases covered, didn't you? I forgot how fun the chase can be." She picked up another Philadelphia roll and held it in the air for a moment, "So, are you planning to help me find her?"
Mary just grinned as she chewed another roll then she said, "Nope, that would be taking the easy way out and true love never takes the easy out Alex."Mary liked the thought of Alex finding Kate on her own, despite her urge to be there when they were reunited.
"You don't play fair, Mary," Alex said after swallowing her food. "But you're right. I want to find my Kate on my own...it'll make it right. It just bothers me that you know everything about her, but soon I will too and she'll know everything about me, for better or worse."
Mary took a little bit of pity on Alex then and said, "Well, that sounds great, but I will tell you this, when you find her...I think you'll be surprised about where you find her."Mary knew that Alex's reaction to Kate being a cop just like her ex, Olivia, would be something she would gladly cash in her vacation days to see.
Alex raised an eyebrow, "That sounds ominous. She's not a stripper, is she?"Alex knew full well that with her body, Kate could easily be an exotic dancer, and although she didn't figure her for the type, it didn't mean she wasn't.
Mary just shook her head, "I'm not saying anything more. Just keep an open mind. Now, where are we headed after lunch?"
Alex rolled her eyes, "Since you're planning to keep me in the dark, I think I'm going to do the same. You're not afraid of heights, are you?"
Mary smirked, she would play along, "Not that I know of, but since I've spent most of my life in Albuquerque and there's not a lot of high places there, I honestly don't know."
"Well, you'd better prepare yourself then, and no, I'm not taking you to the Empire State Building..." she said with a grin. They finished up their lunch and Alex was going to pay, but Mary snatched up the bill. "Hmm, let me guess, it's included in your per diem?"
Mary nodded, "Yup, so don't worry about it, ok?" Mary placed her credit card into the black leather case and handed it to their waitress as she passed by. As they waited for the girl to return with Mary's card, Mary looked at Alex and said, "I like this side of you, must be because you're not pretending to be someone else, huh? You know, I haven't had a lot of witnesses return to their old lives. Most of the time, theyre in the program for life, never able to be who they used to be. I like that I was here to see you like this...being yourself again."
"It feels good to be back here. In all honesty, I'd given up on the idea of ever coming home until I met Kate. That's when I knew that somehow I'd make it home. Like fate, you know? I just felt it in my heart."
"She must be something really special. I'm glad you're going to have a second chance with her Alex. And, now that you're safe again and no longer in the program, there's nothing stopping you from being with her."Mary could relate to Alex's idea of fate, she sometimes let herself believe in that ephemeral concept...usually when she was trying to forget that she hadn't found that special someone yet.
The waitress brought back Mary's card and once everything was settled up, she and Alex left the restaurant. Alex hailed a cab and got into the back seat with Mary, "So, I know youve been keeping busy since Monday, but now that things are slowing down, are you planning to take in the sights of the city?"
Mary looked out the window for a moment then turned to Alex, "I had thought about seeing the real New York, but without a tour guide, Ive sort of decided to stick to places like Times Square and Central Park."
"Hey, if you really want to see what New York is all about, I do have someone I could call that could show you around..."Alex still had several male friends and she did have someone in mind who might be good for Mary. She just figured she'd use this as a means to introduce them and let things take their course.
Mary thought about that for a minute then chuckled, "Thanks for the offer but Ill be fine. Tomorrow Im going souvenir shopping since I promised my partner, Marshall, that Id bring him back one of those I Heart NY t-shirts. After that Im going to the Empire State Building, since thats not where we're going."
Where were going is much better, I promise." The cab driver took them to mid-town and pulled up just outside of Rockefeller Center. Alex paid him and then stepped out of the car with Mary, "We're going to the top of the Rock."
Mary smiled, "Sounds like fun, let's go."Mary decided to let go of her Federal Agent persona and just be another tourist in New York.
Alex led her inside and went to the ticket booth to pick up a pair of tickets. They were taken to an elevator and along with all the other tourists, they rode up to the observation deck. Alex stepped out and smiled when she felt the sun on her face. She inhaled the scent of New York and exhaled, "Ahhh, how I've missed this."
Mary just grinned as she watched Alex revel in the crisp air. She turned to look out at the city and was amazed at the sight. Even without the iconic twin towers that shed seen in almost every movie set in New York prior to was 2001, the view was breathtaking. Mary kept her eyes on the skyline as she said, "Well, you're here now..." Then she turned to Alex, "How you proceed from here is up to you Alex. I hope you make the most of the second chance you're being given."
"I intend to," Alex said. She walked over and peered out at the city, her city. "I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you here instead of the Empire State Building. This is much quieter and it's closer to Central Park. Offers a better view of the north end of the island, which is where I've spent most of my adult life."
Mary nodded, "So this place has sentimental value to you. I like that...it's a part of you." Mary smiled at Alex, "You should bring Kate here, show her who you really are, let her decide for herself if she can love 'Alex Cabot' as much as she loved 'Vicky Harrison,' you know what I mean?"
"That's a good idea. Maybe once I track her down I can plan something special. I have so much I have to get done before I can even start looking for her, but I want to be settled when I do find her. I want to be able to invite her over and have a quiet talk together."
Mary just smiled. She could understand where Alex was coming from. She wanted to be on an even level with Kate. Mary took out her cell phone, opened the camera, and began taking pictures of the view. Then she turned to Alex, "Can I get one of you with the skyline behind you, sort of a success story type of thing?"
Alex blushed but nodded, "Sure. Right here?"She had downtown behind her since it offered more of the iconic landscape that people were used to seeing.
Mary smiled, "That's perfect. Hold still." Mary snapped a picture and then lowered the camera phone. "Thanks."
Alex chuckled, "Anytime. I'm glad I can be one of your success stories." She gazed downtown and smiled. All of it was real. She spent about half an hour up there with Mary and then said, "Do you want to go down to the gift shop? Pick up some souvenirs?"
Mary looked at Alex, "Are you sure you're ready to leave this spot? I don't mind if you maybe need a little more time."Mary didn't want Alex to feel rushed in this moment, plus she was enjoying herself just watching the blonde's reactions.
"Well...maybe a few more minutes,"she said with a grin that made her look like she was five years old. She liked seeing the city rushing by down below while she was standing so still. She could just think of her and Kate being up on that roof together, Alex nervous because she was planning to ask Kate to marry her. She could see it all: the ring, the pink of the sky as the sun was setting, the look on Kate's face just before she said yes, and then the two of them kissing to seal the moment.
Mary smiled, "Take your time Alex."
After she finished putting the finishing touches on her fantasy, she took one last deep breath and said, "Okay, I'm ready now."
Mary smiled and turned to leave but then turned back to Alex, "Ok, lead the way.
Alex laughed and said, "Come on."She led the agent to the elevator and stepped in when the doors opened. The decent was quick, as was the way with New York elevators. Alex could never seem to get over how slow elevators in other places were. When they reached the bottom, she and Mary walked to the NBC store so that Mary could look around for some things to take back to New Mexico with her.
Mary followed Alex into the NBC store and looked around. She noticed Alex had wandered off a little bit and she decided not to trail her, opting to look around at all the merchandise from the various NBC shows on her own. She was walking around, not paying total attention to what she was looking at when she saw a t-shirt that made her grin. She walked closer to it and noticed a few shirts next to it. Mary picked up a black shirt that read "Team Jillian" and a blue shirt that read "Team Bob" and decided that her mom and her sister would like them. They both loved watching The Biggest Loser.
Mary kept walking and found a coffee mug with the logo for The Office on it and picked that up for Stan, her boss. She was wondering what to get for Marshall when Alex found her again.
"Looks like you've gotten some nice stuff there. Did you want to look around a little more?"
Mary grinned, "Yeah a few things, all I'm missing is something for Marshall and I'll be all set."
"Great, take your time, Im just going to pick up one little thing. Ill be right back."She smiled and then headed off in a different direction.
Mary watched her walk off and she shook her head. She seemed a little like a kid in a candy store. Mary turned her head and she saw a sweatshirt with the logo for Marshall's favorite show, Friends. Mary grinned, she knew it would be perfect for him so she found one in his size.
Alex quickly picked out a little something for Mary and checked out so that the other woman wouldn't see what she'd bought. When Mary was finished making her purchase, Alex met back up with her and said, "I guess we should be getting back to the hotel. I'm sure you have plans for the evening."
Mary saw that Alex had a small bag and while she was curious, she figured that the blonde had found something for Kate. Mary wasn't the type to pry when she didn't have to so she let it go. "Um, actually it's just going to be me, some room service, and the TV. What about you, any plans for the city tonight?"
"No, not really. I thought maybe I'd just stay in, but we could always do something if you don't feel like staying at the hotel..."
They were walking out of the building when Mary had an idea, "Actually, I'm kind of in the mood to find a bar and have a drink. Just relax and take in the natives of this strange place."Mary's voice took on a humorous tone.
Alex nodded, "I can arrange for that. We can go change and I'll show you a night out on the town."
"Sounds like a plan."Mary walked with Alex back to their hotel, requesting that they walk so she could really see the city. The blonde had said it was a bit of a walk but she gave in when Mary asked nicely, even saying please.
The two days following Alex's psych appointment and their trip to Rockefeller Center flew by and before she knew it, it was time for Mary to fly back to Albuquerque. Earlier that morning, Mary had taken Alex to Manhattan Bank and Trust and had the blonde sign all the necessary paperwork to transfer her assets from the dummy account to a new account in Alex's name. Within two hours, Alex Cabot was financially independent once again. The only thing she had left to do was take a drive up to the house in Amherst to see what, if any, repairs needed to be made to the property. One thing she did know was that she wanted all of the beds to be replaced, but shed take care of that after dropping Mary off at the airport.
Once again, Alex got a gate pass and they sat at the gate to wait for the plane to start boarding. Mary turned to look at Alex after a few moments of silence, "Alex, I am very impressed with how well you've adapted back into your old life."Mary was smiling as she said it, truly proud of the blonde woman sitting next to her.
"I've been waiting for this to happen for over a year. New York has always been my home and I'm grateful that I got a second chance." She smiled at Mary and said, "Thank you for being here to get me settled in. As independent as I like to think I am, it was really nice to have someone by my side to do all the things that needed to be done. Do you think, maybe some time, I can come visit you in New Mexico again?"
Mary grinned, "You can do anything you want to do now Alex so, yeah if you want to visit me you can...I'd like that."Mary didn't think Alex would go back to New Mexico though...it would always be where she was trapped as someone else.
"If all goes as planned, I'd like to take Kate there on our anniversary so that we can enjoy it again, only this time I can actually be myself,"she said with a smile.
Mary smiled, "That sounds like a very good idea. I hope you find her and that it all works out with her. You deserve to be happy now Alex, especially after everything you've been through."
"Thanks, Mary. I really appreciate that. I just hope that she can forgive me... I know it wasn't my choice to lie, but not everyone can get past it."
Mary turned to look out the window at the tarmac for a moment before she turned back to Alex, "If she loves you, if it's real, then she'll forgive you. It might not be easy, or immediate, but...it will happen."Mary knew that Kate was a cop, and cops had an inside track to things that civilians didn't. Mary hoped that this knowledge would help Kate forgive Alex for the deception.
Suddenly a voice came over the PA system to announce her flight and her row was among the first called. Mary stood up, "Well, it's time for me to leave and take the training wheels with me. Are you going to be ok?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Living at the hotel somehow makes life a bit more bearable, especially since I don't have to cook. It'll be harder when I get my own place. Wish me luck with that, by the way." She hugged Mary and said, "Have a safe trip and thank you for everything."
Mary pulled out of the hug grinning. "I have total confidence in you. Good luck with your girl. Take care of yourself Alex and stay away from the cartels ok?"Mary joked.
"Aye, aye,"Alex said with a salute. She watched Mary as she disappeared onto the ramp and then made her way back outside to pick up a cab to go back to the hotel.
Mary boarded the plane and got comfortable. She was going to miss Alex Cabot but she was glad that the blonde was free to be herself again. She hoped Alex's Kate was the forgiving kind. Mary closed her eyes as the plane took off. She was heading home...a smile crept onto her face at the thought of being in her own bed later that night.
A few days later, after giving things some serious thought, Alex decided that she wanted to give Jack McCoy a call and see if she could get a job with the DA's office again. She knew that private practice wasn't really for her and neither was being a public defender. She didn't like the idea of defending guilty people, so her only other option was asking McCoy for a job with his office. She planned to be smarter about things this time around and not let her job become her entire focus, not to mention that she missed her colleagues.
She picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number and when prompted, she entered the extension for Jack's office. His secretary answered and Alex explained that she was a former employee looking to meet with the DA. The woman checked his calendar and scheduled her for Wednesday afternoon. Alex accepted and put the meeting into her phone. She was happy she had a few days to think things over so that she could approach Jack the right way. Tuesday night, she picked out a gray suit and light pink blouse with black stilettos and had a glass of wine to calm her down so that she could fall asleep and stay asleep through the night.
When Jack McCoy heard that his 2 o'clock appointment was with Alex Cabot, he was surprised. He had thought the former ADA was gunned down in 2003, but she'd surfaced for a very publicized trial and he, along with the rest of the legal community in New York, was stunned but pleased to hear she was alive. Jack had heard the rumors that the cartel that wanted her dead was no longer a threat and there were whispers among the political elite of the city that Miss Cabot might return to Manhattan. Jack was looking forward to seeing Alex and finding out why she wanted to talk to him. He couldn't imagine that after what she went through she would want to return to the DA's office, even though she would be a very welcomed addition.
McCoy was in his office waiting for Connie Rubirosa to finish the 441 motion that she and Executive DA Michael Cutter were seeking in their latest case, when his secretary buzzed him to tell him that Alex Cabot was in the lobby waiting to see him. McCoy told her to let her in and he sat up straighter as he waited. Alex walked in and smiled when she saw Jack. He had always been a great resource for her when she needed help with a case and she was thrilled that he had been elected DA in her absence. "Jack, it's great to see you,"she said, walking over to give him a hug.
Jack returned the hug then motioned for Alex to sit down. He sat behind his desk and smiled, "Alexandra Cabot, as I live and breathe. This is quite the surprise, you look remarkably well for a ghost." Jack's smile and affable tone revealed he was "What brings you to these 'hallowed halls' Alex?"
Alex got comfortable in the soft leather chair and crossed one leg over the other, "Well, as unbelievable as this is going to sound, I'm here to apply for a job..."
Jack looked at the blonde for a few moments, "You're not serious. You actually want to come back here?"
"Yes, but as you can imagine, I would like to avoid working with my old unit. I just don't feel comfortable with SVU anymore,"she said, though there were more reasons than she was letting on, namely Olivia.
Jack looked at the blonde for a few moments. "That's too bad, SVU seems to have had a run of bad luck with their ADAs lately. Casey Novak had her license suspended for a year and then we brought in a rookie named Greylek who seems to be having a hard time fitting in with the squad. Im sure they wouldnt mind it if you came back, but I can respect your decision not to return. Jack said with a smile. He paused for a moment as he looked at his roster to see where else there was an opening. "Well, we are happy to take you back but there are only two openings for ADAs right now. One is in Appeals and the other is with the 12th Precinct's Homicide Division."Homicide was such a big division of the DAs office that it was divided up by precincts to make the caseload easier to manage.
Alex thought about her two options and decided that Homicide seemed like the lesser of two evils. She hated Appeals with a passion and even though Homicide could be gruesome, she would be working with detectives and doing what she had done with SVU, just without the living victims. She looked at Jack and said, "I'd like Homicide."
Jack grinned, "I figured you would. In that case, welcome back to the team Alex. I'll call Human Resources and tell them to expect you tomorrow to get the paperwork started so you can come back. You'll start on Monday. The Captain at the 12th is Roy Montgomery, you might want to meet with him first thing on Monday and, um, get acquainted." Then he paused a moment before he said, "Ill see what I can do about getting you your old office back...unless you want a different one..."Jack realized that maybe her old office would have too many memories lingering and shed prefer a fresh start in that department too.
"Actually, I wouldn't mind something new, if that's ok,"she said. She didn't want that old office, again, for many reasons. She needed a change of pace and a new office would definitely be welcomed.
Jack nodded, "No problem. I can't guarantee it'll be ready by Monday but I'll do my best. If you have to, you can always use one of the interrogation rooms at the precinct until I have your office sorted." Jack paused for a moment as he thought of how to ask Alex what he was thinking without overstepping his bounds. "Um, Alex, have you um...have you called anyone from the Special Victims Unit? To let them know you're back in New York I mean. From what I remember, you were a fairly tight-knit group before you...went away and you might not want them to find out you're back through the press, or do you?"
"I haven't contacted them, no. I think I just need a little bit of time to get settled in before I call. I'd appreciate it if you would keep all this quiet. I don't want them to know that I've been assigned to the 12th precinct."
Jack nodded, "I'll keep a lid on it for as long as I can but Alex, you should be realistic here. You essentially, came back from the dead, there's going to be some press, so you should prepare for that." Before he could say more, there was a knock on his door and his secretary popped her head in, "Sorry Mr. McCoy but Mr. Cutter and Ms. Rubirosa are waiting for you in the conference room, along with Mr. Davidson and his new attorney Mr. Langan."
Jack nodded and she left the room. He turned to Alex, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I think Davidson's about to take a deal and he made it clear he won't talk unless I'm there."
"Of course. Thank you again for everything Jack. I'll take the weekend to consider my return strategy. Good luck,"she said and then left his office.
Jack watched her go and sighed, she was going to have a rough road for a bit as she settled back into the job and dealt with the press but he knew she would handle it with grace. Jack went to the conference room to deal with Davidson and Langan.
Alex returned back to the hotel and started to think about how and when she was going to tell her old friends that she was home. It wasn't going to be easy, that much she knew, but she figured she'd have a flash of brilliance and come up with some way to make it less painful.
TBC...