Chapter: You're getting a vasectomy. That's final!
P O V: Sylvie Brett
"O-h god not again! Matt grab my hair!" Retching my gags echoed off the tiles of our bathroom walls. The hardness of the floor pressed badly against my knee caps. For the third time in less than twenty minutes I was bent over the toilet bowel heaving.
"I got you sweetie."
My husband's gentle strokes against the lower part of my back helped only slightly to ease my discomfort as I vomited over, over into the bowel. "Shit this hurts, my stomach is already so raw from the last three times."
"Baby I am so sorry you feel this sick, I wish I could help you. Lean back for a minute, let the cold water help you." His hand presses a cold compress against my face which is flushed, sweating. "Any better?" After a few minutes he asked the question "Sure twenty minutes of nonstop projecting vomit will always feel better after just three minutes."
"Sorry Sylvie I don't know what else to do darling." His voice is laced with worry and regret, making me feel horrible for snapping at him. Offering him a weak smile I curl up into his arms. "Why don't we get you up so you can rinse out your mouth?" "Sounds good babe thanks, sorry I know this isn't your fault. Not trying to be a bitch." "Babe you aren't a bitch everyone gets stressed when they feel crabby."
The coolness of the water dose help me slightly his hand runs in small soft circles across my lower back. "Keep rubbing mister that feels amazing." Leaning my head against his chest his steady heart rhythm helps to ease my own pounding heart, gentle strokes of his hand through my hair proves to me just how much he truly loves me. Men aren't often sentimental or thoughtful so for someone to take the time to get to know what makes me feel better means the world to me.
"Just hold me please Matt." "Always and with pleasure." "When did this start Sweetie?" I have to think for a few moments. "Last week sometime I woke up feeling achy, tired. The next morning I was nauseated but felt okay by the afternoon, that evening I had a headache, I was nausea again the next morning to, that afternoon I got really dizzy almost passed out in Gabby's arms. Now here we are again this morning."
His breath blows my bangs off my sweaty warm forehead, "Sylvie dear you don't sound sick you sound pregnant." My head fly's off his chest so fast we both nearly lose our balance. "No Matt just no not again! Uh I can't be… no."
"Only one way to tell for sure my love."
Opening the drawer he pulls out a pregnancy test my eyes fill with tears at the thought of yet another kid to carry, birth, fed, keep clothed let alone raise. My hands shake as I take it from his "Need help getting your pants down babe you're shaking like a leaf." His voice holds the hint of laughter "No I think you getting my damn pants off is what got us in this place to start with, keep your hands of my pants mister." He smiles laying a gentle kiss on top of my head taking my free hand that isn't holding the stick under my private area.
"Positive dear god Matt not again." Tears fall down my checks as his arms open for me to fall into which of course I do, my legs nearly giving out. "This can't be happening Matt we were so careful. I'm on a iud, you used protection." "Baby I know but we both know there are no 100% protection except abstinent. I am so sorry I know you don't want any more kids." Wiping my tears away he kisses my face gently "If there is anything I can do for you I will." "There is one thing Matt but it's a big ask, I don't think you'll want to do it." "I will baby whatever it takes to make you happy sweetie name it." "You're getting a vasectomy Matt. That's final. That will solve our damn baby boom problem. I hate asking it's so final so invasive but I simply can't have any more kids Matt I'm only thirty, we have six kids seven once this baby is born. I want to work, to go out with friends not be at home every night hearing where's dinner mom? When is dinner? What's for dinner, where are my shoes?"
"I left my Amish community so I wouldn't have to be tied down in the traditional marriage kids work die life cycle. Now I feel like I am repeating it all over again."
"Matt I am exhausted my vagina feels like it's been ripped open, I miss working with Gabby, I need my life back, I love you, I love our kids but I need to love myself, my life again."
"I'll do it Sylvie I promise I'll go to Med today and find out what it involves I'll work over time to pay for it as long as it makes you happy, Love and marriage are about a partnership, you don't carry this alone."
"Thank you Matt I love you."