A/N:

Sorry this took so long to get out. School kept me busy so sorry if this chapter was badly written.

Chapter 9: "Viagra."

"Spread them open a little bit more... there! Perfect! Now slip in the mistletoe... aw that's nasty. Beautiful. Beautiful..."

"Ngh...ahhhhhh..."

"Now turn your face a bit this way and lick that thing... whoa! Nnow that's hot!"

George Smith could only watch in amazement at the sheer skill that the young photographer demonstrated. While the others were still busy ogling the beauty in front of them, Harry had already snapped off six shots and began following her every movement with sharp, professional ease as he complimented her beauty at the same time. He even directed the girl into taking very hot, seductive poses that even George himself had to admit he would never have thought could be so... stimulating.

"Stir it up a bit more... there! Now ram it all in as hard as you can..."

"HNNNNGGG!"

Harry made sure to get a shot of her face in pure ecstasy as she climaxed on the set.

"Very nice." Harry complimented her. She smiled back at him as another tremor of pleasure shook her body.

His coworkers looked at him with envy as they fingered their cameras nervously. No one had taken a single shot as they were too busy staring at her throughout the whole thing.

"Well done!" George clapped him on the back, sending the small boy keeling forward. "I'm pretty sure those pics would be front cover material. You got a bright future ahead of you, young lad."

Harry grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, sir. But my camera is a bit old and only produces back and white photos."

"Not a problem." The big man waved him off. "We can just scan them and color with photoshop. Though make sure you get yourself a proper one next time, okay?"

Harry saluted. "Yes, sir!" His mind was racing. He would need to develop two copies from the negatives, one magical and the other muggle. The non moving photos he would hand in and the other he would keep for... er... personal use.

"As for the rest of you lot." George turned to the others. "You guys need to step it up! We need all the hands we can get to make this branch a success and I know you all have what it takes for us to do so. Do better next times, folks."

He dragged Harry away from the set as another woman walked in and introduced herself to the crew.

"Impressive. How long have you been in the business?" He asked in a business-like tone.

"This is my first time, sir."

"Bullshit! I know a pro when I see one."

"Thank you for the compliment sir. Sorry to crush your expectations but... I'm only a highly perverted eleven year old boy." Harry said proudly.

George gaped. The boy was only eleven years old and already had this much talent?! He assumed Harry was at least of age despite being a midget. He never would have imagined the boy would be so young. But wait... if he's only eleven, then he couldn't be legally allowed to work here...

"Sorry to break it to you boy, but I can't allow you to work here. It hurts me to turn away someone with as much talent as you but you're just too young."

"Fueeh? But no one needs to know my age right? And since I'm only working part time, I still have time to catch up on my studies and..."

"And nothing! Come back when you turn into an adult."

Harry was not about to go down without a fight. "Kids get cast into T.V. all the time and they're underage. Going by that logic, you should be able to hire me too!"

George shook his head. "The paperwork is a headache and I don't even want to go into the legal and guardian issues."

"How about this, then? If this edition sells more than three hundred thousand copies, you'll draw up a contract and hire me."

George raised an eyebrow. "You really think you can win that bet?"

Harry stared back defiantly. "Of course."

"Suit yourself then."

Harry walked back to the set, burning with excitement and focus. George shook his head as he watched him go. Given the fact that they're a fairly new publication in the area, there's no way in hell they'd be able to sell that much. Right?

Two weeks later, he would send the boy a letter at the address the boy left him. The French branch's first Hustler Christmas edition sold out at half a million copies with five reprints.

===Break===

Harry had a goofy smile on his face as he giddily jumped from rooftop to rooftop, feeling the spots on his cheeks where the women had kissed him after work. He was a bit surprised to find that they were amateurs and needed a bit of coaching in what turns on most men. Having knowledge of the female anatomy really helped Harry point out how they could pleasure themselves better even as they worked. They thanked him and told him they never enjoyed it as much as they did when he was the one taking their porn pics. He wished them happy holidays and headed home, all but skipping with delight.

"What's with that smirk?" Albus asked as Harry's spoon missed his mouth the third time. Harry stared back at him with a dazed expression. The smile never left his face as he attempted to add food to his mouth.

"Nothin' to worry about, Albus. Something really good happened to me today."

"It must have been quite a marvelous event if it made you this happy." Nicolas commented.

"Oh, it is." Harry gave them a sly grin.

"That's worrying." Albus frowned. "What's good for you usually ends up bad for me."

Harry laughed. "Oh this has nothing to do with you, Albus. I don't spend all my time thinking about barmy old men you know."

"Well that's a relief. I wouldn't want to spend all my time thinking about young boys either."

Harry choked on his drink, the liquid making its way up and out his nose. He wiped it off with a napkin before glaring at Albus.

"Christmas is just a week away. Don't you have a family to go back to?" Perenelle asked.

Harry set his spoon down, thinking how to best explain this.

"Er... we do Christmas a bit differently where I come from. It's kinda treated the same as Valentine's Day. Couples get together on that day those who are single are stuck with their families, seething with envy at those who managed to find themselves a girlfriend."

"I see. But don't you still want to spend it with your family?"

Harry shook his head. "Unfortunately, my father is one of the losers that go out to drink during Christmas with his friends. My siblings go to their friends' houses while I go out to the neighborhood and... have fun." Harry finished with a slight smile in reminiscence.

"So you don't have a mother?" Perenelle asked, her hands covering her mouth.

"No, but there's a lot of female figures in my life that looked after me like I'm theirs." Harry shrugged.

"Ah, the smothering motherly types huh?" Albus rubbed his chin, no doubt thinking of Mrs. Weasley.

"Not exactly..."

Harry then turned to Nicolas, leaving that conversation in fear that they might find out too much about his life.

The talk then turned to magical pictures, with Nicolas explaining the proper way of developing the film to make the pictures move and how if each step is not done right, the product would be no different than their muggle counterparts. Harry paid sharp attention to the instructions and asked if the pictures could somehow be colored. Nicolas didn't know but promised to research into the matter.

After dinner ended, Harry and Albus were ushered into guest rooms in the second floor. Albus told Harry to wake up early the next day as they had much to do before they pay a visit to Beauxbatons. Harry just nodded and took out his camera after the old man left. He opened the back and took out the film, making several copies to experiment with.

He then reached into his bottomless backpack, charmed by Professor Flitwick himself, and took out his charms textbook. The teachers became more friendly towards him after he dissolved the Board of Governors and increased their salaries. Harry had negotiated with Snape to be fair to the students in return for buying new cauldrons and resupplying his stock of potions ingredients as well as setting him up his own secret lab. All this was arranged without any of the others' knowledge of course. Snape grumbled a lot but grudgingly accepted the deal, though Harry knew he was quite happy with it. There were many students who had complaints about the Potion Master's teaching habits and Harry had promised to do something about it by the time they come back from the holidays. Harry thought he did rather well and was looking forward to seeing the students' dumbstruck expressions the next time they had potions.

All in all, he was steadily gaining the approval of his staff and hoped that by the time his second year is over, he would have more power over them than Albus.

He cracked open his Charms textbook and laboriously pondered the text. He understood the theory behind each spell but the problem was performing it was becoming an issue. After hard practice, he was finally able to perform the levitation charm but only for a short duration. Flitwick said that maybe he was experiencing some kind of block that he needed to overcome in order to do things right. Harry was vaguely aware of what his problem was but there was nothing he could think of to fix it.

Remember. Peaceful, happy thoughts. Kohakuirohime reminded him.

Harry's face scrunched up in concentration as he pointed his wand at the book.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

Nothing interesting happens.

Harry sighed and slumped back into his bed.

You're doing it wrong. You have to get around that thinking that all spells are meant for battle. Charms are not designed to be combat spells and you need to stop forcing the magic to do what it doesn't want to do.

I know, but I've been using Kido all my life and I think it got engraved in my head that magic is supposed to harm others. Transfiguration was easy because I could immediately see how it could be useful in combat... but Charms?

There are ways to implement it in battle once you actually get around to doing it but you have to stop trying to force it to what it's not supposed to.

I'm trying.

Keep at it then.

Harry practiced for two more hours to no avail. The clock was nearing midnight and he could hear the soft snores of Albus in the room next door. He waved his wand in that direction in irritation and all sounds coming from that room ceased to exist.

Harry stared at his wand in disbelief.

WTF?!

Wtf indeed.

What just happened?

Looks like you were somehow able to cast a silencing charm.

B—but … huh?

His Zanpakutou sighed. Did you say the incantation?

You know I didn't...

What did you do then? She prompted, urging him to come to his own conclusion.

I just wanted Albus to shut up with all my—... oh!

Exactly.

Harry grinned and pointed his wand at his books. With an upward motion of his wand, he willed the books to rise.

And rise they did.

After some experimentation, he was able to summon and banish objects even without the aid of his wand. He could feel the magic in the air humming as he covered his hand in reiatsu and grabbed the ambient energy and willed the magic to do his bidding. By the time the clock hit midnight, it looked as if gravity didn't exist in his room.

Harry laughed as he threw magic at the door, watching it form into the shape and color of a silencing charm. He took out his camera and grinned as he peered through the eyepiece, thanking his good luck for landing him such a fine job.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud, familiar howl. Harry grinned. It's been so long since he last played with a Hollow.

===Break===

The cold, night breeze felt incredibly good as Harry jumped from one rooftop to another, feeling the freedom that was associated with being in his Shinigami form. Being in a gigai was like wearing shoes that's two sizes too small, except it covered your whole body. He had sent Urahara a butterfly telling him this but he said it would take at least a month for him to make a new gigai. Harry felt his reiatsu growing as he became more well versed in the art of magic. Learning his shikai alone drastically increased his reiatsu but learning magic had gotten it to the point that being in a gigai was just painful.

Harry's laughter was lost into the night as he flash stepped from one house and into the air, sailing gracefully in the air as a gentle breeze swept through his face, knocking his hair to the back and making his robes billow in the resulting wind.

Wait... robes?

Harry stopped in midair and looked down at himself in surprise. His black kimono was gone, replaced by black robes not unlike his school robes but more professional in appearance. His Zanpakutou was slung on his back, the scabbard held to his body by a green cloth that crossed to his front. On his left hip was the dimly glowing Voodoo Dick, sitting supreme in its holster and on the underside of his right forearm was his wand, holstered onto him in such a way that would be easy to wield if such a need arise.

He conjured a mirror and looked at himself, admiring how sharp he looked.

Damn... I look so badass!

Pfft.

What's so funny?

You really have no sense of style. She replied through a fit of giggles.

Harry mentally shrugged and proceeded to head in the direction of the Hollow. The howling got louder as it screamed in pain. Harry increased his speed, not wanting to miss the show. By the sounds of it, the local Shinigami had gotten there before him and was in the process of subduing the Hollow. He followed the reiatsu and was led to the edges on town. The sparsely wooded area felt haunted under the moon's light. The sole house in the middle practically glowed with magic however, and he concluded that magicals must be living in the large manor, warded against muggles.

The Hollow trashed about, uprooting trees as it howled in pain from a severed arm. It was large, about the size of a three story building and six arms attached to its torso, giving it the look of a giant gorilla crossed with a spider. Two smaller figures darted in and out of its range, expertly dealing continuous damage to its mask and appendages. They were wearing blue and black military fatigues and wielding curved sabers that glowed with infused reiatsu. The man also had what looked like a musket and aimed precise blasts of reiatsu at the Hollow while his partner, a woman, locked the massive creature's movements.

Harry used his Stalker Arts and dematerialized himself, making his presence undetectable. He jumped to a treetop and watched with fascination as the two worked. He could easily tell from their movements that the two were well trained and had experience in dealing with large Hollows. The woman hacked at the Hollow, severing another arm before pulling out, letting the man take advantage of the opening to dash in and slice the Hollow's mask.

It would have ended the Hollow had the man not hesitated. Instead, he found himself a second later crushed into the ground, the Hollow's massive arms driving him deeper into the soil.

"Gary!" The woman screamed and severed the arm pushing her partner down just as Harry noticed the cause for the man's hesitation.

A little girl with silvery blonde hair had gone out of the house and was looking at the scene with wide eyes. The Hollow immediately turned its attention towards her. The girl was practically bursting with reiatsu! Harry could tell the child would become more powerful than the average wizard, maybe even as strong as Dumbledore but he could also tell she wasn't exactly a human. He stowed away that thought as he grabbed her just in time as a gigantic hand slammed down on the spot where she had been a second ago.

He noted the woman grab hold of her partner and flash stepped away, talking into what looked like a walkie talkie, asking for reinforcements. Harry set the girl down and looked her in the eyes, blue meeting green.

"What's your name, kid?" He asked in French.

"Gabrielle." She responded shyly.

"Okay, Gabrielle. What are you doing out at this late hour? Didn't your parents tell you not go out alone at night?"

Gabrielle nodded fearfully, afraid of how her parents would react if they find out.

"After I take care of that thing," Harry pointed to the Hollow. It was struggling to keep itself upright as one of its legs was blasted off. The woman was holding it off pretty well but exhaustion was starting to catch up to her. "I'll take you back to your house, okay? And stay where you are until I come back."

The girl looked at the Hollow with curious eyes but nodded her confirmation. Harry cast a notice-me-not charm on her anyway. Can't help to be too careful. He smiled as he strode up to the Hollow. Charms were pretty useful after all.

It's really been a while, Hime. You ready to do this?

Damn right I am.

Harry strode up to the Hollow with confidence as he unsheathed the blade from his back. The Hollow let out another howl as it batted the French shinigami away, knocking the wind out of her. Harry took that as his cue and held his Zanpakutou to the side, tracing a wide circle in the air.

"Paint the world in your image and blossom,

Kohakuriohime."

The Hollow turned sharply in his direction as the large explosion of reiatsu that accompanied the release of his Shikai filled the cold, night air. The thin blade pulsed with reiatsu, leaving traces in the air as it moved.

Harry grinned and poured more of his own power into the blade, causing it to overflow and spill. The dense reiatsu planted itself into the ground, glowing a brief amber color before fading out. Harry wasted no time and flash stepped his way up to where the French shinigami had fallen and scooped her up with one arm, flash stepping away as he swung his Zanpakutou in an upward slash, sending an arc of amber reiatsu onto the Hollow. The attack broke as the Hollow swatted it away, only to cause the reiatsu to splatter all over its mask and torso. Harry landed next to the other shinigami and sheathed his Zanpakutou.

"Forsaken princess dyed in amber,

Grown in the land of everlasting twilight,

And cultivated in a field of blades,

Germinate, Kohakuirohime."

There was a great splashing sound as black blood spilled from the gigantic monstrosity. The amber colored reiatsu covered the Hollow as it expanded, glowing brightly as it took on the form of hundreds of blades, sprouting inwards, impaling through thick skin, blooming into gigantic shrubs of steel. The Hollow fell with a loud thump, dissipating as it hit the ground. The needle-like swords fell to the ground in an enormous bundle before they too, disappeared.

The woman had already gotten to work on her partner, her hands glowing with the distinct green of healing kido. She nodded to him once before turning her attention back to healing.

"I am Mary Sue, light infantry of the newly formed 21st regiment under direct command from Commander Guillaud of the Lighthouse. This is my partner, Gary Stu. We were stationed to this area a week ago after the regular duo went on a break. That was the biggest one we've fought so far. I honestly didn't think we could survive it. Thanks for the assist."

"You're welcome. I'm Harry Potter, a Reaper on vacation. I was headed to sleep when I heard the Hollow and so I came to investigate. Is your partner okay?"

"He'll be fine. Just a few broken bones here and there."

"Can you take care of matters here then? I need to take that girl back to her house." He pointed at Gabrielle. The charm wore off, exposing her small form. Mary nodded and slung Gary over her shoulder, flash stepping out of sight.

Harry took Gabrielle's hand and smiled down kindly upon her.

"Shall we?"

===Break===

Apolline Delacour woke up with alarm as the wards around her home informed her of an intruder. She reached for her wand immediately and headed downstairs, her nightgown fluttering in her wake. Her long wisps of silvery blonde hair floated softly behind her, giving her an almost divine look as it augmented her beauty.

She wondered who could possibly be wandering into her home at such a late hour. Her husband told her he wouldn't be home until Christmas. Affairs at the French Ministry of Magic were getting more and more hectic, causing him to live at his workplace for a week.

Her thoughts stopped as a knock came from the door. She peered through the eyepiece, trying to get a glimpse of who's on the other side.

She gasped in shock as she caught sight of the young boy that stood outside.

That boy... Did he stalk me home? No, it can't be... I made sure I wasn't followed and... wait why is Gabrielle with him? Did her accidental magic activate again? Ah, he must be bringing her home after finding her outside...

She cast a glamour charm on herself, hoping the boy wouldn't recognize her and opened the door. She had been using a charm to keep her Veela aura in check during the photoshoot. It didn't work as well as she hoped as the idiots still gawked at her, frozen by her beauty. It was the little boy who took charge and surprisingly enough, had the highest resistance to her.

"Good evening, Madam, or should I say good morning?" Harry chuckled. "I'm sorry to interrupt your peace but I just can't ignore a little girl wandering outside at this hour."

"Ah of course. Thank you for bringing her in." She eyed him warily as she told her daughter to go to her room and go back to sleep.

"Never thought you'd have a daughter, Ms. Delacour. I mean you look so young! I would have never guessed."

Apolline froze. The boy was grinning at her, white teeth gleaming in the fading moonlight.

"H—how did you—?"

"Can you please remove that charm? Your glow is dazzling enough as it is. I'll go blind if I stare at you for too long. And there's really no need to hide your face from me, you know. I've already seen everything so there's really no point is there?"

Apolline blushed and canceled the glamour charm. "So... you're a wizard?"

"That I am. And by the looks of it, you're a witch... and something else?" Harry frowned.

"How'd you...?"

"It's my eyes. Well it has been rather nice seeing you again but I have to get going now. My companion will be rather worried if he finds that I went out."

"Wait!" She fidgeted, twiddling her thumbs as she searched for the best way to say it. "Please... can you not tell anyone about... my... job?"

"I'm not intent on spilling the secrets of others but..."

"Please don't tell... if my husband finds out..." Her voice broke, blue eyes filled with sorrow.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Your husband doesn't know?"

"He doesn't read pornography. I make sure I satisfy him enough that he wouldn't think of looking at someone else."

"And you have no qualms about doing this behind his back?"

Appoline flinched, as if slapped. "It really breaks my heart, thinking of how he would react if he finds out but I... I'm addicted! The feeling of ecstasy under the lights! The extreme turn on of being found out!" She suddenly broke down, crying. Her prone form on the doorstep wrenched at Harry's heart. He wracked his brain, trying to figure out what to say. Unfortunately, his eleven year old mind was just totally unprepared to be faced with such a situation. The woman knew what she was doing was wrong and felt bad about it but was unable to stop herself despite everything. The internal war within her was beyond his ability to settle.

Harry rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'll keep quiet but let me say this. I know it's none of my business but I really think you should quit. If it really bothers you that much to be doing such a thing, then it's best to stop. I don't know much about marriages but I don't think you should be doing something that makes you feel guilty enough to hide it from your spouse."

And with that, Harry snapped his fingers and disappeared with a small pop, leaving the troubled housewife to ponder his words.

===Break===

"What's all this?" Albus gestured towards the collection of parcels and letters on the kitchen table. "I understand it must be hard for young folks to reign in their excitement but Christmas is still a few days away."

Harry briefly looked up from the letter he was writing to give Albus an odd look. The old man rubbed his beard and picked up a thin, rectangular package thoughtfully. A small note dangled from one end.

To Prof. Severus Snape,

Happy Christmas. This is a token of my gratitude for all the things you have taught me this year. Inside is an enchanted picture frame. Picture in your mind the one you desire the most and the frame will depict that person for you in all their naked glory. Very useful for night time solo activities. It is also able to depict more than one person at a time so if you're feeling a bit 'adventurous', you can even watch yourself move in the frame along with the person of you innermost desires.

–Use it well,

Harry Potter

Albus put down the package warily and fixed a stern glare on the boy. "Harry, this isn't something you should give a man like Severus."

Harry finished writing a note and fixed Albus with an equally intimidating stare. "And why not?"

Albus sighed. "Severus has a very... unique sense of humor, if any. I'm not sure he would understand a joke like this."

"A joke? The hell you talkin' about?"

"Harry, how would you feel if someone gave this to you?"

"I'd thank them from the bottom of my heart and use it every night before going to sleep." The boy answered quickly.

Albus face palmed. This is worse than I thought. He's too far gone...

"Harry, may I suggest giving him a different present? Severus is not one to enjoy the thrills of the holidays and I highly doubt he will appreciate receiving a tool for masturbation for Christmas."

Harry frowned, not understanding. Who wouldn't want such a thing?

"So you're saying I shouldn't give him this because he doesn't masturbate?" He asked slowly.

Albus brightened up, hope surfacing back on his wrinkly features. "Yes, when men reach a certain age, they find other things worth doing more than pleasuring themselves."

Harry slowly nodded in deep thought, trying to find a connection with the old man's words. His face then lit up in realization and snapped his fingers. "Aha! He's too grown up to still be a wanker?"

"Yes..." Albus smiled encouragingly, hoping the boy would reach the right conclusion.

"And he's found something even better than beating his meat?"

"Mind your words, Harry. But yes, grown men have passed that stage in their life and it's not a big priority for them to be doing that."

"I see... so if they're not masturbating... then... they must be... doing the real thing." Harry's head bobbed up and down, his face set in a look of understanding.

"Harry that's not what—" Abus started in alarm. Did he just cause the situation to grow worse?

"I see now, Albus! I should give him something that could help him in his divine endeavors!"

"What are you...?"

Before Albus could get another word out, Harry had already conjured several packs of items made out of latex. He gaped in horror as Harry cast impermeable and unbreakable charms on them.

"Harry... is that what I think it is?"

"Yup! Condoms. Now that I think of it, I should also give him a cane and a hat, well befitting of the Hot Blooded Pimp." Harry said brightly and wrapped the condoms in red and green Christmas wrappers.

"Oh dear..." Albus rubbed his temples, a headache brewing in his old, war-torn mind. "Harry couldn't you have just given him something more on the lines of... everyday use?"

"But these are for daily use." The boy looked back at him innocently.

"No—I mean something like... oh I don't know. Socks?"

"You give people socks for Christmas?!" Harry's eyes stared at him incredulously. "God, you really are old."

"Thank you for the reminder but please reconsider your gifts. I recommend replacing them with more innocent ones."

Harry's face fell. "So I guess that dildos are out of the question huh?"

"Definitely." Albus winced. He could already see the reactions of the female staff had he not averted this crisis as it brewed. Minerva would be very terrifying to behold had she received Harry's present and would do everything in her power to get rid of the offensive object immediately. The Deputy Headmistress could be very... overkill in her methods.

"But it would be such a waste to throw all these away... ah! Since you're here, I should give you your present now!"

"But it's not yet—" Albus tried to protest but the boy was already thrusting a box of small, blue tablets into his hands. They looked like candy but knowing Harry, it would probably be something along the lines of poison.

"And these are?"

"Viagra."

===Break===

Madame Olympe Maxime gazed out the window of her well organized office, feeling the usual apprehension that accompanied visits by the famous Albus Dumbledore. The barmy old coot just creeps her out with his overly polite manners and twinkling eyes. She swore he'll go blind one day. Excessive twinkling can cause extreme eye damage.

Karkaroff had already arrived and was waiting in the conference room prepared beforehand. The man was not intolerable but Maxime wished he would act less... evil. Karkaroff's dark sense of humor had her gagging on more occasion than she can count and she was starting to wonder if he was doing it on purpose.

The gates of the Beauxbatons palace opened gracefully, revealing two wizards, one in bright purple robes with a matching hat and another in pure black robes that billowed in a nonexistent wind. She frowned as she recognized the smaller figure.

Why would Dumbly-dorr bring a child to this meeting between Headmasters?

===Break===

"Well that was stupid." Harry shook his head at the sheer stupidity the adults around him were discussing with the seriousness of a funeral. They've been going at it for nearly an hour, trying to come up with the tasks for the revival of the Triwizard tournament. The international and legal affairs were taken care of weeks before in another meeting. While they were still waiting for the stamp of approval by the Ministries involved, Albus figured they might as well get started on the finer details of the project.

"I agree. I'm afraid I'll run out of lemon drops before we even agree on anything regarding the First Task." Albus said, popping another lemon drop into his mouth.

Olympe rolled her eyes while Karkaroff sneered behind his cup of tea. The old coot's antics were rapidly getting old. Karkaroff had a sudden impulse to shove the whole damn bowl down Albus' throat. His fingers tightened on his cup, stretching the skin thinly over his white knuckles.

"Dumbly-dorr... I don't mind 'aving your successor joining us but..."

"My apologies, Olympe."

"So what were we talking about again?"

"Oh yes. Dragons." Albus stroked his beard. "Harry, for the purposes of this tournament, we need a creature that would test one's courage and daring. The only one that comes to mind that's on a high enough caliber but still fits this criteria would be a dragon."

"If you really enjoy watching your students die, then you might as well make them face off a nundu." Harry snorted.

Karkaroff chuckled, the mirth not reaching his eyes. "Now that's an idea."

"A nundu would compromise the safety of the audience. It's much too dangerous a creature to use for a tournament like this."

"Come on, Albus. It would be much cooler to see a nundu breath plauges than a dragon breath fire."

"Absolutely not." Albus said sternly.

"If ze boy 'as a better idea, I vould like to 'ear it."

Harry closed his eyes and rubbed his chin, completely mocking Albus' own pose. "Hmm... so dragons and nundus are out and we need a creature that is scary and dangerous enough that barely legal students will piss their pants in fear. What about giants?"

"Not scary enough."

"Trolls?"

"Too easy."

"A basilisk?"

"I feel like you're on to something there but not quite."

"Goblins?"

"Do you want to start another war?!"

"Fine, dementors then."

"Too dark."

"Gorgon?"

"Extinct."

"You just really want me to say dragons, don't you?"

"Of course."

"Fine you win … this time." Harry pouted.

"Of course ze students won't 'ave to fight it. Getting past a dragon is an accomplishment in and of itself."

"What have you guys thought of for the second task then?"

"Albus suggested we have them retrieve an item important to the champions form the bottom of the lake at Hogwarts." Karkaroff answered.

"I'm guessing these items will be guarded by a protection of sorts?"

"Well, there are a lot of creatures in the lake that would be more than a formidable opponent and I have spoken with the merfolk to lend us their cooperation for the event."

Harry frowned. "So you're saying these 'items' will be guarded by the merfolk?"

"Yes..."

They discussed for another hour but were unable to come to an agreement on how to improve the second task. Harry thought having the champions dive under a lake when it's almost winter was a stupid idea and wanted to throw that idea out altogether. Karkaroff and Maxime kept bickering and Albus was adamant in his idea. By the time the time Albus finished his lemon drops, another hour of fruitless conversation had passed and they had to schedule another meeting next year to iron out the details.

===Break===

"That was a waste of time." Harry grumbled as he sipped his tea.

Nicolas chuckled. "You have to get used to it. I'm sure once Albus is gone and you're the only headmaster in charge, you'll be in that kind of situation very often."

"Don't go killing me off yet, Nicolas. I plan on living another hundred years!" Albus exaggerated, waving his arms.

Nicolas snorted. "Good luck with that."

"Well, I did give him some viagra so that should extend his life about fifty more years." Harry said thoughtfully.

"I'm not taking those muggle pills!" Albus said heatedly.

"Your loss." Harry shrugged and sipped his tea.

Perenelle was studying Harry closely. "Harry, since you have no other plans for Christmas, why don't you spend it with us? I'm sure the Delacours would be thrilled to have you."

Harry choked on his tea. "Delacour?"

Perenelle nodded. "They're one of our descendants. It sort of became tradition to spend the holidays with them."

Harry thought long and hard. A wicked smile slowly formed on his face, sending chills to those who saw it.

"You know what? That sounds like a fine idea."

===Break===

"Report." The old man grunted, stabbing his cane into the wooden floor. The captains looked expectantly as the captain with the glasses stepped forward and addressed the others.

"As Ukitake Taichou has previously said, it appears that Eutopia has migrated. However, evidence suggests that this was not so. Kurotsuchi Taichou found a trail of their spiritual signatures and we followed it to the command center of their Shinigami Corps. What we found there was a blasphemy of nature. All the missing souls seems to have melded into one giant blob of reiatsu. We could feel captain level reiatsu in the mix as well as others. However, what was most disturbing was that a Gate of Hell stood partway open not too far from the mass of reiatsu and was steadily sucking souls from it at a steady rate. The souls disintegrate as they leave the blob before being swept inside the Gate."

A shocked silence greeted this revelation. Kyoraku scratched his head. "Could this be related to that incident ten years ago?"

Komamura's deep voice answered. "Well, we never were able to figure out how that monster was able to stop the Gate from hunting him down..."

Heads rose up sharply in alarm. "You mean Voldemort might be the cause of this?" Unohana asked.

Yamamoto turned to the alien-looking captain. "Kurotsuchi Taichou, what are your thoughts on the matter?"

"Hmmm... it is near impossible to meld all the souls in an entire soul society but we cannot deny the fact that it has been done. Different soul signatures that are not compatible would just reject each other should they be attempted to be forged. The fact that someone was able to accomplish such a task tells us that he is one powerful specimen. Not to mention he had to have subdued the entire chain of command into submission first before he could start."

Worried murmurs broke out at this and the Head of the Gotei 13 slammed down his cane for order.

"If what you are saying is true, then Voldemort as of this moment must have weakened considerably after accomplishing such a task. Aizen Taichou, how is the Balance being affected?"

"The Balance is slowly breaking down as we speak. Since souls are being removed from the Cycle as we speak, less and less souls are being spit back out into the Living."

The old man nodded gravely. "We need to stop this abomination at once! Kurotsuchi Taichou, I'm putting you in charge of this operation. Aizen Taichou and Hisugaya Taichou, go with him. We need to restore Eutopia as soon as possible!"

The three captains bowed and left at once, leaving the rest to their own worried thoughts.

===Omake===

"On another note, we need to think up a title for the next chapter." Yamamoto announced.

The remaining captains flinched. Nothing good ever comes out of meddling in affairs that's not their business but they cannot escape from the discussion.

"Isn't that the author's job?" Kyoraku whined.

The old man snorted. "The author is an idiot. If we leave things to that gorilla, this story would never get anywhere."

"I'm sure he has his plans." Gin smirked.

"Oh? Do tell." Kuchiki drawled.

"Enough." Yamamoto tapped his cane impatiently. "Does anyone have a suggestion?"

The captains shifted uncomfortably. No one was stupid enough to suggest anything that might anger the so called 'author' so they wisely kept their mouths shut. They knew they could easily lose their lives in an 'accident' at anytime if the 'author' felt like it. However, they also knew that they wouldn't be able to leave the meeting without a deciding on a 'title'.

After a long minute, Kyoraku raised his hand. The captains looked at him nervously as he stepped forward. It was this man who suggested the title 'viagra' and they all knew how badly that turned out.

"Yes, Kyoraku Taichou? I assume you have a suggestion?"

"Yes, um... er... well, 'Boobs'."

The captains face palmed. They all waited for the tongue lashing that the Supreme Commander was sure to give the 8th division captain. To their shock, the Commander grinned evilly at the suggestion.

"You're a genius."

===Break===