Note: Hello my darlings, well once again it has taken me a very long time to update (I'm so sorry) but the important thing is that I am not giving up on this story! So there is a little less time spent on Narcissa and Ginny as a couple in this one mostly because I think it is important that we look into the other relationships in their lives with family and all of that so that, especially when it gets to the Weasley family finding out about the relationship, we can see the full affect the love affair has on things and how this in turn impacts Narcissa. Also, unfortunately, I've had to make this quite short as I've not had an awful lot of time with exams coming up – but I wanted to give you something since it's been a while. Hopefully you won't hate me too much for the diversion and I promise I will go back to the romance bits soon. As always I would love to hear what you all think about this chapter and the story as a whole so far, so pretty pretty please review and I will give you all cookies! (Virtual cookies of course, I think it would take a long time for me to track you all down and give you actual cookies).
Love always
Shadow of a Black Rose xxx
Warning: Violence and implied rape are the predominant things to point out in this one, I wouldn't normally involve any sort of rape but I just felt it was needed for us to understand certain relationships and bonds – don't worry though, I didn't go into too much detail (I considered it but it just disgusted me too much.)
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Early the next morning I found myself sneaking out of the fireplace at my home, trying to make it to my room before my mum could catch me and start her usual imitation of the Spanish inquisition. I managed to make it from the fireplace to the bottom of the stairs without being noticed but as I lowered my foot on the first step I heard a cough behind me and the sound of a foot tapping on the floor. I stopped and tensed, preparing myself for the rush of questions, but as I turned around it wasn't my mother who I found stood there. George was stood directly behind me with his arms crossed and his weight distributed to one side so that he could tap his foot on the wooden floor in a disapproving manner. He was grinning and I knew I was in for it; George had decided since the war that without Fred he would have to work twice as hard to fill the gap our brother had left behind - the prospect of which did not seem pleasant for the rest of our family.
"Ginevra Weasley, where on earth have you been all night?" Damn him - he was enjoying this weird form of torture far too much. His grin had almost turned into a smirk and he was clearly trying his best to be as loud as possible so the whole family would hear my torment.
"George, will you please shut up... if mum hears you..."
"Calm down little sister, mum and dad went out hours ago." Urgh, it was just like him to make a whole song and dance just to worry me when he knew full well that I had nothing to worry about whatsoever. I was so going to get him back for this... eventually. "Seriously though Gin, where have you been? I didn't hear you come home at all last night and those are the clothes you wore yesterday meaning..."
"Meaning I spent the night out, alright? Are you happy now? I admit it; I didn't come home last night. It's not exactly a crime George, and I'm old enough to look after myself."
"Woah, alright, I was only asking." he held his hands up defensively. I probably had been a little snappy but I was tired, I mean, I hadn't got an awful lot of sleep the night before. "Who is he then?" George asked, the smirk returning to his face, "Is it anyone I know?"
"W...what?"
"Well you can't try and tell me you were at a friend's house Gin, you haven't had a girly sleepover since you were about ten. So, who is he? Come on, you can tell your big bro!" He threw his arm around my shoulders in his typical 'proud big brother' act and grinned down at me expectantly. Part of me wanted to tell him. Part of me wanted to tell him everything about me, about Narcissa, about everything that had been going on since I started taking lessons from the Malfoy matriarch.
"George, let it drop..."
"So there is a guy!"
"There is no guy. There is never a guy George. I was just out, okay. It wasn't like the whole girly sleepover thing either. I was working at Malfoy Manor and I fell asleep; I asked Mrs Malfoy why she didn't wake me and she just said I clearly needed the rest. That's it. Okay?" He smirked. For a moment I was sure he knew, there was something in his eyes that seemed to scream 'I know all of your secrets Ginny' but he didn't. That was just George, that look, he liked making people uncomfortable with it and he had it down to a fine art.
"There will be a guy one day," he grinned "and when that day comes I'll kill him if he ever hurts my little sister!" I had to smile at that - even though he was way off the mark it was nice to know he cared so much. George didn't show it very often but he had a soft side that was reserved just for me and mum, I knew he would always protect us.
"You're not going to tell mum about this are you?"
"Nah, I mean it would be fun and all but really I think she's worrying about you enough without my input. Don't worry though Gin, she'll get over it - she's just not ready to let us all go just yet." He smiled sadly - I knew he was thinking about Fred. It had been hard on all of us when he died but I couldn't imagine what it had been like for George, they were twins - it was still wrong seeing George without Fred by his side. "Go on then," he said, cutting the silence that had fallen between us "off to bed with you - you look like you could do with a proper rest." He was right. I smiled briefly then ran up the stairs to my room for a well deserved nap.
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Narcissa was lying out in the sun on an elaborately carved wooden lounger with an ice cold glass of water by her side and an Italian fan gripped loosely in her hand as she attempted to cool herself down. It amazed her that the weather could change so dramatically in such a short space of time; only a week before she had sent her son out in the freezing cold and pouring rain to keep her husband out of the house and now it was sweltering hot, her son had finally got himself a job to be proud of and her soon-to-be-ex-husband was still locked up in the dungeons probably still freezing despite the weather that the surface world was experiencing. She sighed happily and took a sip of water closing her eyes and smiling - everything finally seemed to be going her way.
She wondered what Ginny was doing at that moment, she knew that her young lover had said she had to do 'family stuff' but really what did that mean? Was she enjoying herself? Probably not - at least, not as much as she would be if she was here with Narcissa. The blonde witch couldn't help but wonder if Ginny was missing her as much as she missed Ginny. Merlin she thought to herself what's happening to me? It's like I can do nothing but think of her. The fact of the matter was that Narcissa couldn't think of anything but Ginny, she was all she thought about from the moment she woke up to the point when her head rested on her pillow and she drifted off into the world of dreams, filled with fire red hair and those lips on her skin. Merlin, I'm like some love-sick schoolgirl.
A cough resounded from somewhere above her and Narcissa opened her eyes to find the tall, blonde figure of her son stood over her, blocking the sun and hiding her in the shadows. "Hello darling" she murmured, closing her eyes once more, "lovely day, don't you think?" He didn't reply – typical Draco, he couldn't handle small talk. "Fine," she sighed, sitting up and looking up at him "I didn't think you had come just to chat. What is it that you want?" The relaxed Narcissa of before vanished in an instant, replaced by the unfeeling woman the world knew her to be. Draco was scowling, it was as though he had eaten something that tasted vile and couldn't quite rid his mouth of the revolting flavour.
"Father."
"What about him?"
"I'm not comfortable with this plan of yours mother. I don't trust him. He'll find a way to get another wand, and you know that won't be good for any of us." His eyes seemed wider than normal, his nostrils flaring as short, sharp breaths escaped his airway. He knelt down by the sunbed and rested his head on his mother's thighs, "I can't let him hurt you again." Narcissa sighed and ran her fingers gently through Draco's hair. He always had been such a good boy. He was the only good thing Lucius had ever given her, this sweet little boy who would protect her always. Sitting like that with Draco reminded Narcissa of darker times when Lucius had lorded it over her, treating her as no more than a slave and beating her if she fought back. Draco had been her refuge in those times. There was one particular incident that Narcissa could not quite forget, although the horror of it almost tore her apart inside when the memory was pulled from the deepest recesses of her mind to the forefront where she could not ignore it. Draco had only been seven at the time, still a baby in Narcissa's eyes, but still he had known how to comfort her.
It was just another day to anybody else, but to Narcissa it was something so much more. On this day, just six years ago, the only woman she had ever loved had been viciously removed from the world of the living, taken from Narcissa before she had even had a chance to confess her feelings. Not true, of course, she had had more than enough chance to tell Lily Evans how she felt. Narcissa was a coward. She told herself the same thing every year when this day came around. Why hadn't she told Lily? They had been in school together for so many years, she could have confessed it at any given time. Again, not true. She would have been disowned on the spot if the news that Narcissa Black was in love with a mudblood had reached her mother. Druella was old fashioned; there was no way in hell she would ever have accepted Narcissa's love for Lily.
The blonde witch was still curled up in bed, despite the cold winter sun shining through the French windows that led out onto the balcony. It was well past midday but she didn't care. Lily was gone. Why should anything ever matter again when her beautiful fiery lion was no longer here to enjoy the world? Narcissa grimaced a little. Even if Lily had been here, alive, she would not have shown the slightest interest in how Narcissa was spending her day. She would have been off with her husband and that intriguing child that had his mother's eyes. They would have been walking through forests or visiting family members. Narcissa had always seen Lily as the 'family' kind, always visiting one relative or another who would hug and kiss the woman and her husband, and coo over the baby boy and how big he had grown.
"Narcissa!" Lucius' voice boomed through the manor like an exploding bomb causing Narcissa to sit bolt upright in the bed. She knew she should go to him. She knew the punishment she would get if she made her husband wait too long for a reply. Every muscle in her body tensed for a moment but she forced herself to lie back down. She would not leave her bed, not today. She couldn't keep letting Lucius treat her in the way he did, as though she was no better than a house elf. She had to make him see that she was not going to let him push her around. She would not be the obedient little wife he wanted her to be. "Narcissa!" he shouted again. This time she didn't even flinch - she was becoming used to the beatings and besides, what more could he do to hurt her today? Her heart was already as good as ripped to shreds. Would it matter if he killed her? She could be with Lily again if he did. She could finally tell the redhead exactly how she felt about her. No. She knew that would never happen. Lucius wouldn't want to take his beatings too far anyway – he wouldn't want to lose a perfectly good punching bag and play thing.
The door of the room creaked open slightly but Narcissa didn't turn around, her eyes fixed on the line between the sky and the tree tops visible from her window. She didn't care who it was who had come to disturb her peace. If it was Lucius then she could simply lay there and take whatever punishment he saw fit. If it was a house elf then it didn't much matter if she acknowledged it or not – they weren't equals to witches and wizards so why should she treat them as such?
"Mummy?" a little voice crept through the silence a little uncertainly as a blonde boy slowly edged his way into the room. Narcissa turned her gaze to rest on him. Of course, he was the only being she would willingly acknowledge on this day, her baby boy, her Draco. "Mummy, why are you still in bed?" She tried to smile, only achieving a strained twitch of her lips before turning away from her son again – she didn't want him to see her like that, it would ruin his image of her. Tears were brimming in her eyes and she prayed that Draco would leave, but he didn't. The minute weight of his tiny body caused the bed to dip slightly as he crawled up next to her and wrapped his tiny arms around her neck. "Don't be sad mummy" he whispered and Narcissa managed a small giggle before tears began to stream down her cheeks. Merlin, she hadn't wanted this. Draco was supposed to be with his tutor – where was she anyway?
"I'm fine darling," she choked out, desperately wiping at her tear stained, pink cheeks in an attempting to regain her composure, "just not quite feeling myself today." The child nodded, looking at his mother with big blue eyes filled with worry – he really was the sweetest thing, Narcissa would never understand how Lucius had played any role in creating him.
Draco remained with his arms wrapped around Narcissa a few minutes longer before Lucius once again roared his wife's name. He sounded closer this time. Narcissa instinctively wrapped her own arms protectively around her child, pulling him closer as though to shield him from her husband with her own body. She had done so many times before, of course – Lucius never had been a calm man. Within moments the door of the room swung harshly open, admitting one extremely irate Lucius Malfoy – his hair tied with a ribbon behind his head and his teeth visibly clenched in aggression and anger.
"Narcissa I have called you three times now, why have you felt it necessary to keep me waiting?" His voice was low, dangerous, just as it always was when he was in one of his moods. She clutched Draco's tiny form tighter to her and stared her husband straight in the eyes, defiance burning in her own.
"I am not a dog, Lucius, and I will not be summoned like one." It was thrilling to speak to him with such force. She suddenly began to understand why Lily had always spoken with such gusto when challenged at school – it felt good to take control.
Narcissa glared at her husband, ensuring her icy gaze never left his. His mouth had dropped open a little and for a moment he looked bewildered; clearly Lucius had not been expecting this sudden alteration in his wife's personality and it took him a while to collect enough sense to straighten his posture and take on a more dominant appearance.
"How dare you" he hissed. He had been raised with the belief that women should follow orders and, if they did not, it was perfectly acceptable to punish them. His fists were clenched so tightly that the colour had drained from his knuckles. There was an almost insane look in his eyes that Narcissa recognised as the same look her sister Bellatrix got when she was really angered; she began to wonder if standing up to Lucius really had been such a good idea, after all, look where that level of anger had got Bella – locked up in Azkaban for life. Narcissa's courage began to falter at the look Lucius gave her. Would he kill her? She wasn't sure she could confidently say that he wouldn't any more.
The Malfoy patriarch advanced towards the bed slowly, seemingly unconscious of the fact that his son was still present, curled in his mother's arms and shaking with terror. Narcissa knew she should send Draco away, but what if Lucius stopped her? What if he tried to harm Draco? She couldn't risk that happening. Luckily though, she didn't have to. As Lucius continued to move closer he looked down at his son and stopped momentarily. "Leave, Draco." The boy flinched and Narcissa hushed him, gently stroking his hair until he looked up at her. Her eyes pleaded with him to do as he was told and, thank merlin, he must have got the message because Draco slid from his mother's grip and jumped from the bed, leaving as fast as his little legs would carry him, only looking back to see that Narcissa was still in one piece before closing the door behind him.
"You shouldn't speak to me like that in front of him" Narcissa muttered, pulling the quilts up around herself as thought they would protect her from Lucius' rage. He ignored her, making his way around to the side of the bed which she occupied, fists still clenched and his eyes darkening.
"Why are you still in bed at this hour?" he growled. He roughly took hold of the quilts and ripped them from the bed, throwing them to the other side of the room. His eyes roamed over her petite body as she attempted to cover herself up, tugging at the short skirt of her white silk night dress in a vain attempt to hide as much of her flesh as she could. It was no use and Narcissa knew that - so this was what Lucius had wanted her for.
"Lucius please... not today" her voice broke and he smirked. He knew exactly why she didn't want this and Narcissa knew that was exactly why he was doing it. He pushed her back against the headboard hard, a sickening crack and a small yelp resounding through the room as her head ricocheted off of the polished wood before lolling to the side, as lifelessly as a ragdoll held by a small child. It took all of Narcissa's energy to lift her head again. She could feel blood in her hair, slowly seeping down towards her neck as the room span before her.
"Look at me" Lucius hissed, grabbing her face and forcing it up so that Narcissa found herself staring into his grey, lifeless eyes. He looked tired, she thought. He seemed tired too - normally by now he would have thrown her onto the floor and stabbed her at least once. "Say it" he ordered.
"No."
That was a mistake. Lucius' hand closed around Narcissa's throat instantly and her hands flew up to meet it, tugging at his fingers as her oxygen supply began to deplete. "I told you to say it and you're bloody well going to" he growled. His mouth was inches from her ear and she could feel his breath on her cheek, hot and thick like the blood clotting in her hair. Narcissa prayed for it to stop. She begged anyone who could help her to make him leave her be. But, of course, it made no difference - no one was listening. "Well?"
"I... I..." Her vision was growing hazy and each sound that escaped her throat burned like fire; still Lucius squeezed her delicate, swan like neck tighter. Narcissa was almost sure she was about to pass out - she could hear her own heart beat and the light was beginning to fade. "Please Lucius," she choked out, barely able to form her words properly "I can't..."
"Say it."
"I... want you." The words tasted vile and Narcissa hated herself for giving in. Lucius' grip loosened around her throat and he slowly released his hold entirely, kneeling over her with a malicious grin on his face. All of Narcissa's senses seemed heightened as air flooded back into her lungs and she gasped to take in as much oxygen as she possibly could. Her head and throat were throbbing violently and she gently ran her fingers across the enflamed flesh where her husband had almost strangled her to death.
Lucius wasted no time once he got what he wanted - his hands seemed to be everywhere, roaming over every inch of Narcissa's body. There was nothing she could do but lay there and allow the man to take what it was he desired. She was so weak, so exhausted and she simply couldn't fight back any more. She squeezed her eyes shut tight as Lucius' hand forced itself between her legs and his calloused fingers rubbed her most sensitive area viciously. She felt sick. He had forced himself on her before, but never like this – never taking so much pleasure in her pain. "Please Lucius…" she whispered meekly, in a final attempt at appealing to his better nature. It didn't work – Lucius Malfoy didn't have a better nature.
Narcissa's torture didn't last long, ten minutes at most, but every second tore at her soul more violently than the last. When Lucius finally removed himself from her bed and left the room she could no longer summon the strength to move even an inch. Her pale flesh was bruised and blackened all over, blood staining the sheets beneath her, clotting between her thighs as well as on the back of her head. Her eyes, usually bright and glistening, were dull and blank of emotion, staring across the room at her destroyed night dress. 'Merlin,' she thought to herself 'how did I let it get this bad?'
The door creaked open once more and suddenly strength seemed to flood back into Narcissa's body; she leapt from the bed onto the floor, pulling the quilts that Lucius had discarded there around herself. She stared at the door, trying to remain calm. Only her eyes betrayed the terror she felt. But it wasn't Lucius returning to finish the mess he had started to create, instead the small blonde head belonging to Draco poked itself around the door, his big blue eyes scanning the room until they caught sight of his mother, curled in the quilts on the floor.
"M... mummy?" His little voice shook and he remained in the doorway, looking at Narcissa with tears brimming in his eyes. She didn't answer. She couldn't answer. What was she supposed to say? She couldn't pretend that everything was okay, not when she looked as though she had been in some horrific accident.
Draco slowly began to edge into the room, cautiously walking along the boundaries of the walls like a cat scanning for potential threats. He picked up the remnants of Narcissa's night dress as he passed it, attempting to fold it neatly before placing it on the edge of the bed. He stopped at the sight of the blood staining the sheets, his eyes widening a little. He had known his parents to fight but he had never imagined his father would actually spill his mother's blood. Tentatively he began walking again, picking up his mother's lilac satin robe from a chair by the bed and continuing to walk until he finally reached her side. Narcissa looked up at her son, her baby boy, far too mature for his years; he held her robe out to her and she took it, her arms shaking from the pain it took simply to lift them from her sides.
"Thank you darling" she whispered, enveloping herself in the garment and allowing the quilts to fall back to the floor. Draco took her hand, saying nothing, and helped Narcissa to her feet, supporting her until she was sat back on the bed. Tears were streaming down her cheeks again. It hurt to move, yes, but what hurt more was the resigned attitude Draco took to helping his mother in her time of need. Only seven years old - no child should be so calm in this situation at such a young age. Narcissa hated herself for allowing him to see it; she hated herself for failing as his mother, failing to protect him from all of the darkness between Lucius and herself. "Draco I…"
"No," he whispered, looking her directly in the eyes. He didn't have to say anything else; it was plain to see that he did not want to discuss what he was seeing. The small boy pulled himself onto the bed next to his mother and wrapped his arms around her in an attempt at the protective embrace Narcissa had held him in only a short while before. In that embrace Narcissa's pain seemed to disappear. She felt safe, secure, loved.
Narcissa opened her eyes and looked down at her son's head, still resting gently in her lap. His eyes were closed, they always were when the pair would comfort one another, as though he were blocking out the world, blocking out everything and everyone that wasn't his mother. Her Draco. Her baby.
"Everything will be okay darling. He won't ever hurt me again, I promise." She meant it. She would never allow Lucius Malfoy to harm her or those she loved ever again.