Chapter 9: My Name Is Esther

The morning raise of the bright sunlight awoke me from deep slumber. I yawned a little, and then opened my eyes. I almost went into a state of shock as I looked around at my surroundings; it was just so alien for me not be waking up in my old cell room back at Saarne. I had fallen asleep in the alleyway last night, as I had nowhere else to hide out at. I was sure the police were still on the hunt for me; after all, I was the most wanted serial killer in Estonia. And now I was a serial killer on the loose, an escapee from a mental hospital. I knew I couldn't stay in one spot for too long, that'd be too risky. In order for me not to get caught, I needed to be on the move constantly.

I stood up slowly, my gun in one hand, and my Bible in the other. I was just about to get a move on, until something suddenly caught my eye. Over on the other side of the ally was a door. Curiosity got the better of me as I stepped closer to it, wondering where it leads to. I tried to peer inside, but it was so dark in there, I couldn't see anything, though it looked to be a store of some kind. I placed my Bible under my arm as my hand gripped around the doorknob, trying to open it, but of course, it was locked. I then looked around carefully, double checking to make sure no one was near, before taking the gun and shooting out the lock, allowing me to open the door with ease.

It took a moment for my eyes adjust to the darkness as I stepped inside, but when they did, I immediately realized I was right; this was a store. An old Halloween store in fact. As I walked further inside, I could tell this place had been long abandoned; cob webs and dust was everywhere, giving the place a very creepy vibe. I took my time as I looked around; mask, costumes, decorations, and more covered each of the many shelves. I wasn't sure why I wanted to stay in here for a bit longer; this place was no use to me anyway. Perhaps it was because I knew no one would be looking for me in here; I doubt anyone even knew this place existed.

My eyes then caught sight of a mirror, hanging on the wall. I turned as I stared back at my hideous reflection. My hair was matted and pulled back in a ponytail, revealing my old and wrinkled up face. I opened my mouth to see my teeth were all crooked and stained brown, as they were practically rotted away to nothing. After having been locked up for six long years, I was unable to properly take care of myself, causing me to look three times my real age. I snarled in disgusts, before walking away, not wanting to look at my monstrous reflection any longer.

As I walked further towards the back of the store, I then found a large clothing rack of old dresses. They were obviously costumes as well, as these dresses looked very out dated, like they belonged in the 1800's era. I hesitated, but then carefully picked one of them up, examining it. It was a plaid, dark blue dress, and by the looks of it, it seemed like something a child from the olden days would wear. I sighed sadly as I realized most, if not all of these dresses would probably fit my small, child-like body. How pathetic!

I then gasped softly; an idea suddenly forming in my head.

A wide smile spread across my face as my eyes lit up with excitement. This was perfect. This was just too perfect . . .

I quickly grabbed the dress, hugging it tightly to my chest as I raced through the store, looking through each of the shelves to find exactly what I need. I then stripped out of my dirty hospital scrubs, as I picked up a pack of ace bandage wraps. I opened the package in a matter of seconds, as I carefully began wrapping the white gauze around my bare chest, binding my breast down tightly; making sure the wrap was snug enough so it wouldn't fall off. Once I was satisfied, I slipped on the dress I had picked out; my hands carefully smoothing it out, getting rid of any unwanted wrinkles.

After pulling on some white pantyhose, and slipping on some old mary-jane shoes, I then sat down at a lone counter, looking at myself in small makeup mirror as I placed all of the items I had grabbed earlier in front of me. I hummed that old 'Glory of Love' tune to myself cheerfully as I began apply layer after laying of thick makeup, watching in amazement as my once old and tired face transformed into a new and younger looking version of me. I didn't even recognize myself as I pulled my hair up into two pretty pigtails and placed a pair of false teeth into my mouth. Finally, after I was finished, I stood up and walked back over to the large mirror:

The dress fit me perfectly, hiding my curves and other womanly developments. My face looked young and innocent, showing no signs of aging wrinkles. I smiled evilly. I looked as if I was a little girl again. I just knew this would be the perfect disguise. No one would be able to recognize me now.

But suddenly, my smile soon faded once I noticed something.

I winced slightly as I traced my fingers over the bloody scars that wrapped around both of my wrists and neck; they were same old scars I got from struggling against the restraints of my straightjacket. They were pretty deep, so I already knew they couldn't simply be covered with just makeup. Shit! The doctors and orderlies back at Saarne knew all too well about my scars; they'd be able to recognize me from a mile away. It was all too obvious.

Now what was I going to do? It was as if all of this work was done for nothing. I was screwed.

I started looking around again, desperately searching for anything that could possibly cover these hideous scars up. By pure luck no doubt, I found some old ribbons, cut down to just my right size.

These would perfect.

I fastened the smaller ribbons securely around each of my wrists, then larger one around my neck. It itched a little, but I knew I would just have to eventually get used to it. If dressing as a child was the only way to keep me out of Saarne, then so be it!

Before leaving, I grabbed myself a plastic bag from behind the counter, stuffing in more dresses and makeup, all the things I needed to bring along with me. I rested my Bible underneath my arm again as I started to head back out the door, but stopped again when something else a shelf caught my attention. I looked to see a few bottles of glow-in-the-dark paint sitting beside me. I shrugged, and then dropped them into the bag as well. You never know when stuff like that could come in handy.

After making sure I got everything I needed, I made my way outside the store.

I wasn't sure where exactly I was going; I actually had no plans for that really. All I know was, I probably walked about two miles. My feet were already sore with blisters from my small shoes. I knew at this rate I'd have to stop soon. I stopped for moment, taking a good look at my surroundings. I was standing on a sidewalk, watching as a few cars passed by me. I had no idea where I was now. I was defiantly away from Tallin, that's for sure.

I looked across the street, noticing for the first time, a small building. The building was about three stories tall, and was all made of brick. It looked as if it had been there for years. On the outside, right in front of the building stood a small wooden sign. Engraved in the sign were the words, "Eesti Lastekodu", meaning "Estonian Orphanage".

I smiled evilly. Was this my lucky day, or what?

Without hesitation, I ran up to the door and began knocking frantically. Not even a minute later, the door opened to reveal an old Estonian lady. I would guess she was probably around the age of seventy with her gray hair. She looked down at me with soft, worrying eyes as I looked up at pitifully. I've already had a good amount of experience acting as a child, due to days of working as a prostitute, so this should be a piece of cake.

"C-can you please help me?" I begged to her; my voice sounding all childish and innocent. I knew she would fall for it. Hook, line, and sinker! "My m-mommy left me, and I don't know where she went. I-I've been on my own for a few days now. I'm so tired and hungry. Please, Miss, you have to help me! I-I-I want my mommy!"

I was crying now. Although, this was all just part of the act. The woman kneeled down to my level, bringing me into a hug in attempt to calm me down, but I just cried harder.

"Shhh, shh! It's okay sweetie," she cooed as she gently moved a strand of my dark hair out of my face.

"You poor child. How old are you, little one?"

I sniffled some, "N-nine."

Ha! If only she knew!

"Well don't you worry. You've come to right place, dear. You'll be safe here, don't you worry. And we'll do everything we can to find your mommy again. But until then, you can just stay here with us, alright?" she asked.

I nodded slowly.

She then slowly stood back up, taking my hand as she led me into the building.

"Now, what's your name, sweetie?" she asked me gently.

It took a moment for me to answer. I knew it was out of the question to use my real name. So I went with the next best name that came to mind:

"Esther," I told her innocently, "My name is Esther . . ."