Buffy woke the next morning curled in a ball on Willow's bed. She looked down and saw a sleeping bag laid out on the floor, but Willow wasn't there. Buffy stood up and stretched, wondering when she had fallen asleep and why she was still at Willow's. After waiting a few minutes to see if Willow would come back Buffy decided to go downstairs and find her. She trudged downstairs and looked into the kitchen where she saw Willow standing by a pan of pancakes.
"Hey Buffy, glad you're up. Want some breakfast?" Willow asked.
Buffy smiled; "Sure," she sat down at the breakfast bar where Willow had set a plate down for her.
"What time is it?" she asked.
"Noon," Willow answered, "you were upset and tired, I figured you needed the sleep."
"Thanks Wills, but you didn't have to sleep on the floor. You should have woken me and told me to move."
"I didn't mind," Willow told her, "now eat. You need the energy."
Buffy started eating, taking just small bites to be safe. The two girls sat in silence while they ate. Buffy finished every bite on her plate. She put the dish in the dishwasher,
"Thanks Willow, that was-" she stopped talking when she felt that tell- tale turning of her stomach. She mumbled an "oh god" before rushing for the stairs. She hurried to the bathroom, just making it on time. Willow ran upstairs behind her and got to the door just as Buffy threw her breakfast back up. When she was done Buffy turned sheepishly to Willow
"I'm sorry, breakfast was great I swear."
Willow couldn't help but laugh, "Don't worry Buffy. I'm not going to yell just because you were sick after eating my cooking. I never yell at all, or hadn't you noticed?"
"Thanks," Buffy got up and gave Willow a hug "you're the best Wills, I'm glad you're here."
"Me too, and Buffy I'll help you out, you know. Whatever you decide to do about the baby, I'll be there for you."
"I know, thanks. But Willow, I do need to decide what I'm going to do, will you help?" she asked.
"Of course I will," Willow nodded, putting an arm around her best friend.
Spike went to the top of the basement stairs and looked down. No Buffy. He didn't have any idea where she was. He had come down hoping that maybe she had come home after he had gone to bed but apparently not. And he was worried that perhaps she had wandered the streets all night. What if something had happened to her? What if she had done something to herself? She had tried once before and there was no doubt in Spike's mind that she would do it again. And that made his mind up; he grabbed his duster and car keys and was out the door in less than a minute.
Buffy and Willow had spent the last 2 and a half hours discussing her options. They had gone on the internet and looked up information on abortion, adoption, teen pregnancy and being a single parent in your teens. They had printed off around a hundred pages and were now going through it together.
Buffy had already discarded the idea of abortion, saying that she could never kill her child. Even if she was only a few weeks pregnant, in Buffy's eyes it was still a living being: a human life growing inside of her, and that meant something. She just thought that if she had an abortion she would feel like she was committing a murder and she could never live with herself if she did it.
So she was left with two options: adoption or bringing the baby up herself.
"It says here Buffy that there are a few different ways to go about having your baby adopted. If you do it privately, through an agency you can even choose the family that will adopt it. If you decided to do it then you would know exactly whom your baby was going to. It would be someone that you were sure was going to look after your baby; someone nice and caring that would give your baby everything it could ever need or want."
Buffy nodded "that sounds pretty cool."
"Yeah but that could be difficult to do because you would probably have certain fees and stuff to pay. But, there is also state adoption. With that you don't really have any say. You don't know who adopts the baby or any of that stuff."
"I don't know if I like that. Even the first one; I mean just because I'm 18 and single doesn't mean that I can't love my baby. My biggest fear is that I will end up like my mom is with me and treat a child badly. But who's to say that I would be a bad mom or that somebody else could love this baby more or better than I could just because they're married or have more money or whatever? The baby might go to a family with more money but that doesn't necessarily mean better," Buffy said obviously upset.
"Of course not Buffy. I'm sure you would be an amazing mother. But we're just looking at your options. You don't have to decide right now. I just wanted to tell you that you can keep the baby or that if you can find a way to do so then you can have a say if you decide to go with adoption," Willow said trying to calm her down.
"No you're right," Buffy said, "I want to do that."
Spike got home at about 5:30pm; he had been out looking for Buffy for over five hours. He had searched every street and store in Sunnydale to no avail. He hadn't seen her anywhere and none of the friends she had were home. So that wasn't any help at all. She was nowhere to be found.
He sat his duster on the edge of the couch and went to the kitchen to get a beer and calm him a bit. When he was in there he heard a noise coming from the basement. He went over and opened the door that led down there; he looked down and saw Buffy, lying on the bed reading a magazine humming a tune. His heart leapt into his throat when he saw her and he rushed down the steps
"Where the bloody hell have you been?" he demanded when he reached the bottom.
She looked up at him and shrugged "I slept at Willow's."
"You should have called," he told her.
"Why? Were you worried Spike? Did you think I was gonna off myself?" seeing the look on his face she laughed, "Don't worry Spike, I won't do anything stupid."
"I'm sorry Buffy, but just because you were upset-"
"Upset," she yelled, "No, I was heartbroken. But Spike you broke up with me, so you have no right to know where I was or what I was doing. And you don't have the right to worry. I'm not you're concern anymore," she flipped onto her side looking away from him.
"I meant what I said last night,"
"What that you loved me?" she asked standing up, "well you still dumped me so that's your problem. I don't have to tell you ever again where I was, who I was with or what I was doing with them."
"So, were you even with Willow? Sure you weren't out spreading your legs for whatever guys came along?" he asked angrily.
Buffy's eyes filled with tears, "you asshole," she said in what was only a whisper. He saw the look on her face and immediately regretted his words.
"Buffy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. I love you I do."
"Are you going to break up with mom then?" she asked him.
"No," he answered quietly.
"Then it doesn't matter. I think you should go. I made my decision and you made yours."
He nodded resigned; he stood up and looked down at her "I do love you Buffy."
"Yeah, me too." She watched him walk back upstairs barely containing her tears.