Mr Endlessly Chapter 10: doing something, a naruto fanfic

Even without your memories…

You… you still hated me.

He called me, Sakura thought, by that name…? Her heart was beating so hard. How—

It hurt.

Uchiha Sasuke took a step forward and another then another. While he advanced, she was retreating, her steps shaky and unsure. When she noticed he was advancing quite fast, she stumbled back— why? She did not know but her body's reaction was fast and efficient, withdrawing. Her pulse pounded hard on her temple, panic rose and Sakura staggered back until her shoe stepped onto a jagged stone. Her foot slipped— she gasped, felt her center of gravity shifting awkwardly. But before she could hit the ground, a large hand grabbed her thin wrist and pulled her back up to her feet.

Flinching, Sakura looked up to Sasuke's stoic face, wide-eyed. "Er—"

"You're dumb." He snapped, his jaw hard as he felt her flinch. What's her goddamned problem? It was a simple touch. But it burned.

Damn it.

His grip tightened over her wrist. Her bones rubbed at each other.

Sakura's eyes widened, almost horrified. Panic filled her eyes. And panic made her say stupid things—

"Don't— don't touch me…-"

The hand tensed over her wrist. She hid a wince (it hurt…)pulling against his grip but he did not yield.

"Don't—"

"Shut up."

This time, her wince came out. His tone was cold, almost dead. So… so Uchiha. Sakura felt a stab somewhere. And a crack. Cracking… cracking…-crack. But she ignored it, made another attempt to yank her wrist back. But she did not have to. The boy dropped her wrist as if burned, disgusted. The sudden action sent Sakura stumbling back.

"…don't flatter yourself."

Her teeth dug into her bottom lip hard.

"Right." She muttered, looking away.

"Aren't you going to ask something?" he asked in a low voice. It was an innocent question but she sensed the insinuation behind the question.

"No." answered Sakura. It was safer. Don't react. He's… testing my limits!

Sasuke shrugged. "One of these days, Haruno," the girl glanced at him suspiciously, narrowing her eyes. Uchiha smirked arrogantly, pushing his fists inside his pockets. Sakura winced mentally. How his expression changed in such a short time was eerie. And she found his expression— arrogant, crooked half-smirk, half-grin expression— uncomfortable. Almost scary.

Her thin brows made a thin straight line. He was… good-looking. Her cheeks burned. He was not just good-looking. He was unusually good-looking… in a terrifying way. Awfully. Kami, why do you have to make such beautiful creatures?

STOP IT SAKURA!

"I'm going…" He paused. Sakura twitched. That pause again… So irritating! "…to find out… whatever it is you're hiding."

She straightened her body stiffly. "I'm not hiding something."

Dark eyes hardened, jaw clenched. The smirk was gone. And knuckles cracked.

"Liar."

Sakura jerked, stunned how the word stung.

He stared. The pink-haired medic pressed her teeth together, glaring up at him. It was difficult. He's tall. Those freaking long legs… And he's good-looking. And he's staring. Dark. Hard. Angry. He's trying to take me apart, trying to find out… to unbury, to remember—

(Sasuke-kun?)

Something in his expression turned rigid.

Fuck.

Still scowling (scary and all that jazzy superiority complex look), Sasuke turned away and started walking off. Sakura sighed heavily, staring after him. She looked rather strained, her eyelids dropping as she watched his back disappear. Her heart…is breaking. It's breaking and I don't know why.

Pain.

A voice answered.

It's painful… because—

Sakura squashed the idea, shaking her head. It's painful. Yes but… it's not because of him.

LIAR.

Funny… her inner self and that Sasuke shared the same idea.

You're a liar.

chapter-

and the colors are…

A door opened and closed.

"Ohayo…" A soft voice. "…Tsunade-shishou."

Tsunade answered with a grunt, buried in piles of paperwork. The corner of Sakura's mouth twitched: the Hokage was unhappy, she was sure. After all, Tsunade hated all kinds of papers. Except for a wad of paper money. And gambling tickets.

"You called for me, shishou?" It was early, only seven in the morning. Behind the Hokage's desk, through the windows, the sun rose behind the enormous clouds. A soft smile tugged at Sakura's lips. The golden yellow rays reminded her of Naruto.

"Hai, hai. Wait for a sec."

Sakura nodded, watching the blonde lady. Being Hokage was boring, Sakura decided. Chained to a desk and chair all day long, doing paperwork… Naruto was in for a rude awakening. How could he love to be the next Hokage? The job was tad tedious. Maybe he loved to have the Hokage hat. Sakura was snapped out of her musings when she heard a sigh, a smack of paper against a paper and a quiet curse.

"Did I make you wait?" the lady asked. "You should have taken a seat, Sakura."

"I'm fine standing up, shishou." Cautiously, she added, "Is there something wrong?"

"Everything, of course." Tsunade motioned at the piles of paper. "And Uchiha Sasuke." At that name, Tsunade noticed how Sakura's expression turned frigid. And the way her eyes moved, how the girl put up her barriers. Really, this girl was impressive with barriers. Did it really hurt that much? Tsunade narrowed her eyes. Was she doing the right thing? Forcing Sakura to force Sasuke to remember his past? After all, what she was after was Sasuke's past abilities as a shinobi. But it cannot be helped. Sasuke as a shinobi was the same with Sasuke as Sakura's friend. The catch was: they were not really just friends. There was something more. So much more. And that scared the little girl.

Tsunade leaned back to her chair casually. "I called you about Uchiha Sasuke."

"What… about him?" Sakura said stiffly. A mental image crossed her mind.

"Liar."

That arrogant…hateful person.

"How was he?"

Green eyes blinked slowly, slightly perturbed by the question. It sounded harmless. But anything that dealt with Uchiha Sasuke was always harmful.

"Sakura." The girl looked up, her wide green eyes filling her face. The Hokage leaned back to her chair, tilting her head. Brown eyes were sharp— prudent. "Any improvement?" Tsunade chose her words well, even her choice of tone. Sakura's stare was blank, but she blinked— the question sinking in. Tsunade fought the urge to roll her eyes and chuckle. Instead, she leaned forward to her table.

"Sakura… are you listening to me?"

"Y— yes," answered Sakura, shifting her weight side to side. "Yes. I am listening."

"…and?"

Silence.

Tsunade sighed sharply. "You're not doing your job."

Sakura jerked, wincing.

That stung.

Because it was true.

Because I don't want to get hurt.

"Shishou…-"

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Your—"the woman said, gritting the word, "emotions are getting in the way."

Sakura ground her molars. "No." she replied quietly.

"Don't lie to me." The woman's voice was not edgy but Sakura twitched uncomfortably. "I told you to separate your emotions from your intellect. No mater how sharp your mind is, it will get dull from your constant emotional diarrhea."

"…"

"Do you understand?"

A buzzing, contemplative silence.

"I do."

Tsunade sighed, turning her chair halfway circle, staring at the windows from the corner of her eye. "It's hard. I know." She said silently.

"No. You don't."

The blonde woman looked at her student— she knew she touched a nerve. She suppressed a thin smile.

"You do NOT understand my feelings." Sakura's green eyes were flashing a bright shade— an electric green shade— blinding green. Her pale skin brought out her eyes. "And I'm NOT having emotional diarrhea!" She finished hotly, a mild snarl in her tone. Tsunade snorted.

"You're scared."

OUCH.

That hurt. That hurt.

Small hands curled into tight fists. Sakura swallowed first before gathering her wits and in a trembling, small voice (she was trying hard not scream), she started, "why" she gritted, "do people always think that I'm a wimp!?"

Tsunade shrugged, almost grinning lopsidedly. "The reason why you can't do what I told you to do is that you're a wimp."

Sakura said something she obviously picked from Naruto. The woman twitched slightly, reminding herself to punch Naruto herself for teaching her student such unwomanly words.

"Don't call me a wimp!" Sakura was saying loudly, waving her arms angrily.

"You are scared to get close to him, aren't you?" Tsunade interrupted. Sakura froze from ranting. She knew her student well— well enough. The way Sakura's posture turned rigid, she knew what she said felt like a slap in a face. This will hurt, but Sakura's stubborn. Her fear made her irrational. This will definitely hurt. This will make you cry…but—

"Stop lying."

Sakura's eyes were wide.

"It was not only Sasuke who will remember."

Tsunade lowered her lashes, watching Sakura's reaction.

"You will also remember."

Her hands were trembling.

"And you know it will hurt."

"…"

"After all, "the Hokage shrugged. "Regret is a funny thing."

Crack.

Crack…

And Sakura thought that her heart was invincible.

But in reality. It was made of pretty glass.

And broken memories.

Promises.

Love.

And hope.

I wish my heart was not made of glass

Sunshine.

Telephone lines.

Autumn.

Incredible. Beautiful.

Sakura lifted an arm, resting her forearm on her forehead as she looked up to the sky. The wooden bench she sat on was under a shade of maple tree. The sunlight filtered through the leaves, making them glow golden red.

Regret… She squeezed her eyes shut. Biting her lip, she tried to suppress her anger. That old…But her deep respect and love for her teacher stopped her from continuing her sentence.

Regret…

"I…I…"

High telephone lines.

Falling maple leaves.

And memories.

"Please—"

She bit her lip.

"I loved you."

And tears slowly slid down to her cheeks.

"…for so long."

So long. So long.

((You will also remember.)) Her teacher's voice sounded like thunder.

High telephone lines.

Falling maple leaves.

And memories.

"I have loved you the most."

She shut her eyes tightly. Stop… Stop—

High

The most.

…telephone lines.

Falling

…maple leaves.

And memories.

Memories.

And more tears.

"Have you ever wondered how it would feel like if you choose me instead?"

"Stop… Stop…"

"You know,

…-

I can wait until you decided to like me instead."

Eventually, she burst into tears, covering her face with her hands.

High …telephone lines.

Falling …maple leaves.

And memories.

Tears.

And more tears.

And regrets.

And feelings.

Overflowing.

Boo.

I found you.

"Where is she?" whined Naruto, looking around. The scuffs of his ninja sandals against the ground were the only sounds in the avenue.

Stop.

Cerulean eyes blinked.

Pink…hair? On a bench?

"Sakura-chan?" he wondered aloud. His folded arms behind his head lowered to his sides. He stared harder.

"Sakura-chan!"

She was sleeping on a bench. How odd. Naruto, in big fast steps, immediately approached her. Was she hurt? It was his first thought. The idea made him run. In seconds, he was beside her. Squatting on the ground, he leaned closer to inspect her face and body for some injuries. She looked…okay. Tired, yes. But she looked fine and that was okay.

Naruto released a sigh. "Oi, Sakura-chyaaaan!" he cooed, shaking her shoulder gently. "Sakura-chan…" She did not stir. He frowned, confused. He shook her harder, watching her face. Those were… dried tears? He thought. He stopped shaking her.

Did she cry?

He placed his big hand over her head, the heel of his hand rested on her temple. Soft pink tendrils wove around his long fingers.

Such…a small girl. Her head can fill his hands. Did she grow tall at all? He chuckled as he imagined Sakura pummeling him with her small fists. His fingertips rubbed at her scalp soothingly. As he rubbed, his gaze dropped to her sleeping face.

Her eyelids fluttered.

Naruto blinked and quickly withdrew his hand.

"Sakura-chan!"

Green eyes snapped open. They were vacant at first, unfocused. Then she blinked, focusing her gaze. Green met blue.

Naruto grinned. "Yo. What are you doing here?"

"N— Naruto…?" she whispered huskily.

"Yeah… Dattebayo… you scared me."

She stared at him. "…I did?" The boy let out a chuckle. He slid a hand under her shoulder and helped her sit up.

"Yeah…" He sat beside her, watching her rub her eyes. "Why were you sleeping here?"

Sakura turned her face to him. "I…fell asleep."

A blonde brow rose to meet his hairline. "Really?"

She made a face. "Reallyyyyy." Naruto laughed loudly, his rich laughter filled the space between them.

"You're so funny!"

The girl shook her head, smiling a little and watched the people across the street. Their bench was nearer the trees and was slightly obscured. People were starting to crowd the teashops and bakeries. Beside her, Naruto stopped laughing and amused himself by watching people rushed to their appointments.

Silence… They thought. Naruto smiled at this.

He was not the type who enjoyed silence. However, with Sakura (and Sasuke, too) these moments, quiet and calm, were special. Comfortable. Priceless. He glanced at Sakura from the corner of his eye. She was wearing a serene expression— maybe, it was blank but she looked calm. Some pink long fringes were on her face and her hair (a bit longer, now touching her collarbones) was being tossed harshly by the air.

"…Sakura-chan."

She did not turn to him.

"Did you cry?"

His question was met by silence. But after a few minutes, she replied,

"No."

"Really?"

Again, she made a face. "Really."

The boy shrugged, "if you say so!" Pause. "Sakura-chan…" He paused, contemplating. "Listen, about…" he turned to her, watching her profile, "about—"he stopped abruptly, noticing how her color changed. Quickly, he took a look at what changed her mood.

He frowned…slowly.

It was…

Uchiha Sasuke.

Naruto blinked. The dark-haired asshole was standing across the street in dark pants and white long-sleeved shirt that covered his knuckles. From the distance, Naruto knew the asshole was aggravated (he knew that expression anywhere, regardless of the distance). Besides, his aura expressed his mood.

Deadly.

He discreetly stole a glance from Sakura's thin profile. She's watching him. Tsubasa, who was leaning forward, reading the teashop's menu, straightened up to talk to Sasuke. The boy shrugged as a response and continued to stand behind the redhead as if he was having constipation.

"…ne, Sakura-chan."

(camera rotated, different angle, side-view)

"About Sasuke." He grabbed her hand, his fingers squeezing hers.

She jerked under his touch. Wide green eyes searched his face. Naruto held her tighter, clenching his jaw. "About… Sasuke." He repeated, clearer this time. Again, (and again and again, again, again) she was pretending his name did not matter. That she was unaffected. That it is okay (when everything is not, so not okay) and Naruto watched as her barriers went up around her, tough walls, very tough. And again (and again and again, again, again) he wished she stop pretending because he was here, he will cry with her, wipe her tears and make porridge for her and even buy a dozen of strawberries just like Sasuke did when they were 12 and in love.

He tried to grin.

"I want to help him."

And she also tried to grin. But no words came out from her lips. Naruto's small smile blossomed into a big grin. Sakura looked like her 12 year old self again, large-eyed and unsure. But she always try (always, always and always) to be strong.

But you don't have to pretend.

"I don't like Sasuke but he's like a brother to me. I… want to protect that bond." He beamed at her. "Just like the way I want to protect my bond with you."

"Naruto…" the sight of his familiar grinning face comforted her. "I… I also wanted to help but—"

"I don't want you to get hurt."

Sakura pressed her lips together.

"I'm sorry." Her whisper was soft, small but firm.

The wind blew, carrying russet leaves.

"I was selfish. I…" she looked up. "Naruto…" He waited patiently.

"I'm scared."

His expression tightened.

"…really scared." And he knew. She lied about the tears.

His hand tightened as well.

"…of what I will also remember."

Sakura-chan.

He stared at her.

"Naruto…"

And he realized— I'm… He swallowed slowly, painfully. His long lashes lowered over his cerulean eyes.

I'm also pretending.

"…Sakura." Naruto began, staring blankly at nothing in particular. "You will not only remember." He continued in a tone that she never heard before.

Long silence.

His gaze met hers.

"You will also realize, won't you?"

His voice changed, his expression changed. Messy yellow hair swayed above his head, some bent and fell across his blue eyes.

Confused green eyes stared back.

"Naruto… I don't understand— what will I realize?"

He released her hand and moved back, bowing his head so that his now longer, messier and thicker hair fell across his forehead protector and eyes.

"Naruto?"

She counted— 1,2…3.

He grinned at her. "It's nothing!" he said cheerfully. "Let's do our best Sakura-chan!"

"…you're awfully cheerful." Sakura said with a small frown, peering at his face under her lashes.

"Dattebayo! I'm always cheerful!"

She wondered if he, too, was lying. "Just minutes ago, your mood changed…"

"Oh." He grinned widely. "It's nothing."

Sakura frowned, "are you sure?"

Naruto looked up to the sky. It was incredibly clear, incredibly blue. Winter would be beautiful this year, he was sure. And the spring after than will be prettier than anything else. He imagined the falling pink petals.

He smiled.

A small smile. Thoughtful, childlike, simple.

"Yes, I'm sure."