Please, don't be worried with this chapter. Things are going to change a bit.
And for those of you who actually read the author's note, there's a spoiler in the A/N down at the bottom before my salutation.
Sorry for a slight delay, but I've been super duper busy. Please review and tell me what you thought! P.S. There are twelve chapters left in this story, by the way!
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I left the hospital feeling terribly downtrodden. If my competition was Rosalie Hale, I had no chance at all. Over lunch, I had realized how accomplished and beautiful she was, just like Edward. She played piano expertly, she was an ER nurse, she did a lot for charity, and she was drop dead gorgeous. And when Edward thought I was out of sight, I had turned around at the door to see them kissing.
What the hell was going on here? Edward had told me that Rosalie wasn't the relationship type so, what…were they just screwing around? Did it mean anything? Edward wasn't the type of guy to be with people nonexclusively. Maybe Edward wanted a committed relationship, but Rosalie didn't. But who in the world wouldn't want to be in a relationship with Edward?
He's everything. He looks at me, and I have to fake a smile so that he can't see how much of an effect he still has on me…so that he won't see how badly I want and need him. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't know how to do it. What if he doesn't feel the same? Our friendship and living arrangement would become so awkward and uncomfortable, and I wouldn't be able to handle that. Besides, I didn't have everyone else to depend on. I needed Edward for support and love and friendship and everything else in between. That reminds me…it's been two entire weeks since I left Jacob back in Forks.
These two weeks have passed in a flash, and I can't believe it. But I am relieved that Jacob has respected my boundaries and not called me or tried to contact me in any other way. It was so wrong that I had to feel this way about my husband. What was even sadder was that I hardly even remembered what it was like to be married. I looked down at my hand absentmindedly. I hadn't taken of my ring…I'm not even sure why I've left it on. This ring doesn't really mean anything to me anymore.
But still, I didn't take it off.
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Edward walked in through the door to the apartment, looking a little tired but still smiling. He looked at me, and my heart literally felt like it was melting.
"Hey." He said, hanging his jacket up and loosening his tie.
"Hey, you." I said, refocusing on the television instead of looking at Edward any longer.
He walked closer to me, and I almost cried when the faint smell of sweet perfume met my nostrils. He smelled like her. "Are you okay?" Edward asked, dropping onto the couch next to me and propping his feet up on the coffee table. I nodded, still not looking at him. He was silent for a little while, and then spoke again. "Because, you know, you really seem like you're pissed at me."
I shook my head and finally looked up at him, staring into his green eyes. "I'm just a little stressed out." I said coolly. "I made dinner earlier and put some in the fridge for you. I'm going to bed now." I said softly, knowing that if I was sitting so close to him for much longer I would start crying.
"Bella, please…" Edward tried to stop me, but I was already standing up. Not wanting to totally put him off, I pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head before leaving the living room and walking into my room, shutting the door behind me as softly as I could.
It wasn't fair. I had been put through so much shit in my life, and now she gets everything that I have to live without. I've lost my parents, my home, my husband, and the boy I love. It seems so wrong to think that my husband is no longer the one I love, but it's the truth. I was a stupid girl, trying to convince myself that I loved Jacob and not Edward.
Really, it's horrible. I can't even see anyone else when he's with me. I can't focus on anything but Edward. It's both agonizing and wonderful at the same time, and I feel like I'm torturing myself by not saying anything about how I feel. I have to do it, I know I do. But the risks seem too great, especially now that he's involved with another woman.
Damn her. Damn Rosalie Hale to hell.
Then again, it's not really her fault at all because she doesn't know. She has no idea that the man she's fooling around with is the same man that I'm in love with. I wish that I could tell Edward that he was the one that I think about late at night, if he knows that the only thing helping me stay together.
Edward Cullen is the reason for my tears. He's the only thing that keeps me wishing on stars. He's the one I can't get off my mind. He's the kind of flawless I wish I could be. And he's the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart. Not even my own husband can break me like this, even though he's tried so many times. Jacob has hit me and hurt me, but Edward is the one that makes me ache.
Rosalie Hale better hold onto him and look into those beautiful green eyes I love so much, and know that she's lucky that she has his affections. Somehow, I'm going to get over my fear of rejection and just come clean for once in my life. I've been keeping these emotions under wraps for ten years…and it's time that they came out.
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So for that spoiler…In the end, this is an E/B story. But I need to warn you that the road will be bumpy. Just trust me, alright? In addition, I also have the rest of the stories chapters picked out:
'You Belong With Me' (BPOV)
'Tied Together With a Smile' (EPOV and BPOV)
'Breathe' (BPOV)
'A Perfectly Good Heart' (EPOV)
'A Place in This World' (BPOV)
'You're Not Sorry' (BPOV)
'Breathless' (EPOV)
'I'm Only Me When I'm With You' (BPOV)
'Today was a Fairytale' (BPOV)
'Crazier' (BPOV)
'Two is Better than One' (BPOV)
And…'Mary's Song' (BPOV)
Yes, I'm going to do more EPOV. Again, they are a bit harder to right but they are also needed! And 'Two Is better Than One' is a song by Boys Like Girls, but it features Taylor Swift so I let that one slide.
Please review and tell me what you thought!
Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie