.

I wake up each morning to a cold sunset on the west horizon,
Eat dinner alone with the heavy presence of night in the chair to my right,
Brush my teeth staring at my inverted reflection in the cracked mirror,
Shower in frigid water and dress in clothes that aren't mine,
Sit on the hard unforgiving floor and stare at the television static,
Pick at my lunch as the harrowed moon stares at me through the fogged window,
Practice the same old song on the weary piano that has never heard another tune,
Waltz silently along the narrow rug that lines the hall, worn brown from my dancing feet,
Paint the familiar stars that speckle the sooty sky, knowing them each by name,
Down breakfast as the shadows begin to walk the walls and crawl the floor,
And go to sleep as the pale sun rises from the murky night like a bloated body rises to the
surface of blood soaked waters

Chapter 10- A Day in the Life

It was early in the morning.

Well, that was what my body was telling me, tired eyes squinting into the darkness, mind still fuddled with the heavy blanket of sleep that felt almost smothering. I was subconsciously searching for my clock, numb and detached in my attempt to remember what day it even was. But all I found was a blinding fire that burned my eyes and sent me blinking spots from my vision.

I fell slack when the realization settled on me like a not so gentle sea of bricks, staring at the black expanse of the ceiling in defeat, knowing that I should probably get up and start thawing out some food before everyone else began to rise like zombies, starving and weighed down by the previous day's events.

All I knew is that I needed a beer.

Even though I had been lucky enough to get a few hours of soundless sleep for the first time in days, the nightmares still followed me like pesky flies into my waking moments, making it hard to make it through each dark day without something to soften the edges of the memories and quiet the screams just a little.

And my back hurt. Lying on the floor wasn't good for anyone, especially someone of my age (not saying that I'm old, just that most people over the age of five don't take well to spending four hours on the cold hard ground). I missed my memory foam that sat all alone just a few rooms away, but we hadn't found the time to do more than lay down a few blankets in front of the fireplaces and gather some pillows and couch cushions to make make-shift mattresses that were barely one step up from crappy Wal-Mart sleeping bags. It had gotten too cold to be sleeping in our rooms, so we had to resort to downsizing, moving everything important into the library, where we wouldn't freeze to death, not having much time to make it as homey as I would have liked. Serves me right for finally settling down, I guess.

I let out a long sigh, throwing my arm over my eyes and wishing that I could just wake up to my room again. Wake up to warm showers and clean clothes. Wake up to the smell of coffee and the sound of bacon cooking. Wake up to the sun shining through the narrow windows and the t.v. playing bad daytime television. Wake up to Sam talking about a case and a long drive in the Impala. Wake up to a life worth getting out of bed for.

I turned over, ignoring a growling stomach and the growing weight of my responsibilities piling up on me, hand hitting something warm as I readjusted the covers. I froze, lifting up the blanket to reveal a sleeping Haleigh curled up on the couch cushion that I had probably rolled off of in the middle of the night. Her hand was still lightly wrapped around the edge of my coat, face so peaceful and serine that it was hard to believe that she had been through all she had. She looked like a child, not a battered girl forced to grow up in wake of being kidnapped from her family because the world was ending.

I looked up to see that Sam was gone from his pile of blankets, probably what prompted Haleigh to come over here in the first place. But I didn't care where he was. I didn't have the energy to care about anything anymore, but I knew sleep was no longer in the question, so I rearranged the blankets to make sure Haleigh was covered and settled back down just to watch her sleep unfitfully for the first time since she had been here, knowing, for that moment, that she was okay.

The bathroom was dark.

The only light came from the small not-so-cinnamon-scented dollar store candle that rested on the sink, dim and leaving a ring of flickering light on the tiled counter that fell off the edge and casted dull shadows onto the moldy bath mat, reflecting in the cracked lid of the toilet, doing nothing to mask the heavy smell of mildew hanging in the air. I couldn't help but stare at it as I sat in the bathtub, slumped down in the cooling water, tracing absent circles into the soapy film by my knee.

I never liked taking baths. They always seemed so cumbersome compared to the convenience of a shower. And growing up in dingy hotel rooms kind of turned me away from the idea of having any unnecessary contact with the health violations that were motel bathtubs.

But now, I was forced to take bubble baths like some little kid and it was humiliating, even though I was completely alone. Especially in a rusty bathtub no better than any of those at the sleazy hotels we stayed at, so tiny that I couldn't even stretch my legs out all the way.

I sighed and slid further down into the water, leaning back against the ice cold metal of the ancient claw-foot, staring up at the ceiling shrouded in the dim glow of the candle, eyes following the edges of yellow water stains and crumbling plaster, just listening to the water as it lapped gently against the side of the tub.

For a moment I just breathed, taking in the moment of silence like it was pure gold after days of hearing nothing but the crystal clear playbacks of those past few weeks, and the hustle and bustle of Sam as he did whatever it was all night that forced me to surface from nightmares and lose even more sleep, as well as Cas's constant angry drifting through the halls and not-so-subtle job of ignoring me. It was like sitting in the eye of a hurricane, the bathroom door the only thing separating me from the roaring winds of the outside world. After being cooped up in the same room, in the same car, for days on end, it was nice to finally be alone for what felt like a breath of slightly less smoggy air in world where you couldn't see a foot in front of you for all the poisoned smoke clogging your vision.

I closed my eyes, dreading having to get out of the already cold water, having to play another game of dry-yourself-off-before-you-get-hypothermia, having to again don the million layers of clothes just to keep myself alive, having to go start preparing breakfast when I should have done it an hour ago, having to go through another day of being avoided by Cas and watching Sam try to scratch his brains out while having no way to solve the problem. Having to go back out there to face the real world once again.

And I could have laid there forever, staring at the backs of my eyelids and pitying my life when I was the one who made it this way, but I heard Haleigh calling out for me, having finally woken up from her most peaceful night of sleep in a big dark building all alone when there should been someone there watching her. When I should have been watching her.

So I stood up from the bath, shivering in the frigid air as I grabbed a towel and stepped out, telling Haleigh I would be right there.

"Why don't you make the food in the big oven like Mommy does?"

I looked back at Haleigh with the ghost of a smile on my lips, continuing to turn the deer meat on the makeshift spit propped over the fire.

"It's broken. Everything broke when the lights went out."

"Why?" She sat in a mound of blankets, knees pulled up to her chin, wide curious eyes reflecting the golden glow of the fire.

"Things need power to work. The power comes from the sun, and when the dark clouds covered up the sun, all the stuff couldn't get any power."

"How does the sunlight go to the lights on the roof?"

"It goes through wires that connect to the lights and other machines. You know the powers lines that run along the road?"

She nodded.

"They go all over the country, all connecting to a big wire that leads straight to the sun." I grinned at her, remembering the crazy things I used to say to Sam as a kid to answer all of his silly questions.

She sat for a moment, twisting her hair around her uncoordinated fingers while she mulled my words over.

"Why don't you have a bedroom?"

I timidly looked away from her doe-eyed stare and turned back to the fire, unprepared for the sudden change of subject. That's kids, I guess.

"I do. It's back there," I said, twisting my arm to point behind me to the hallway that held my room, so empty and abandoned with no soul inhabiting it.

"Why don't you sleep there?"

"It's too cold." I deadpanned, not caring to sugarcoat it with any fun fairytales or sweet little bedtime stories.

She went back to playing with her hair, head bowed over her knees so the light carved deep shadows into her hollowed eye sockets, the deep valleys under her cheekbones.

Suddenly I just couldn't look at her anymore, shifting my gaze to the empty room behind her, eyes drifting over the unoccupied chairs littered around the desolate table, so full of scattered books and papers, but still as barren as the vastest desert. I couldn't help but stare at the abandoned pile of blankets in front of the other fireplace just a few feet away, a hole burning in my stomach at Sam's prolonged absence. He was gone before I woke up, no telling how long exactly, the only thing entailing his whereabouts was that the axe and one of the shotguns were gone from their place by the front door. I could only guess that he had gone out to chop more wood and do some hunting, but the voice in the back of my mind liked to convince me otherwise. But I couldn't do anything about it. I was stuck. With Cas MIA, I was the only one to watch Haleigh, and he wasn't answering any of my prayers, so I was well and truly trapped. I just had sit on my ass and wait.

But I was done with that.

I stood up, stretching out an offering hand to Haleigh as she looked up at me like I was the Jolly Green Giant.

"Come on."

She stared at my hand for a moment, lips pursed as she considered my proposal with such caution that a six year old just shouldn't have. After a few beats, she finally reached out a tiny hand to grasp two of my fingers, standing up from her mountain of blankets, and began to walk with me.

I watched as she took in my room with wide eyes and wandering fingers, tugging at my desk drawers, spinning the broken knobs on my dresser, patting my bare mattress and giggling at the imprints of her hands left on the surface. I slid my hands into my pockets and leaned against the wall as she lifted herself up onto my bed, jumping up and down on it and rolling around trying to make "snow angels". She had the biggest grin on her face the whole time and I couldn't help but manage a smile back at her laughter that sounded like sunshine and her rosy cheeks that reminded me of better, warmer days.

She flopped back down on the bed one last time, arms and legs spread out, her head hanging over edge so that she was looking at me upside down.

"So this is your room?" she asked, hair falling to brush along the floor as she spoke.

"Yeah."

"Well, it's pretty boring."

I chuckled, looking over the rough brick walls only containing the empty hooks where my guns used to be displayed proudly, and the single bookshelf holding all of about five books. My eyes fell to the barren floor, toeing the splintered edge of the old dresser dismally in an attempt to distract myself from the hollowed feeling of the room, like a deep and dark cave, walls so thick they felt like they might cave in at any second and crush us both.

"My room is pink and purple. I have a big princess bed with pink curtains on it and my blanket has Sleeping Beauty on it. My Daddy built a pretty dollhouse for me that looks like a mansion and I play with my Barbies there. And my closet has a bunch of cubbies for all of my toys and my clothes and my shoes and my Mommy painted pretty flowers on my ceiling so I can look up at them when I go to sleep."

She was babbling. She traced out her room in the air as she talked, drawing invisible flowers on my ceiling as my heart clenched in my chest at the mention of her parents.

"That sounds nice," I grimaced.

She rolled over, setting her chin in her hands. "What about your Mommy and Daddy? Did you and Sammy get lost when the lights when out too?"

I looked away from her again, feeling my eyes start to burn. The room felt so cold. I stared into the candle, gripping the back of my desk chair in a vain attempt to find the words to for an answer. My gaze drifted over the faded grain of the desktop, following the flow over the crumbling bricks and landing on the lonely pictures taped up onto the wall above my lamp. I sniffled and force a weary smile, standing up and walking to the bed.

"Come here," I said once again, holding my arms out in invitation. I was surprised when she jumped into my arms, automatically wrapping her legs around my waist and throwing her arms around my neck, melting into my side like she was meant to be there and never wished to leave.

I awkwardly placed a hand on her back, being unable to place the sudden warm feeling in my chest or stop my cheeks from growing red as she burrowed her face into my shoulder.

Back at the desk, I brought the candle closer to the pictures, making them glow in the flickering orange light.

I pointed to the picture of the four of us at the old house, creased and torn from years of living tucked in pants pockets and the backs of wallets.

"That's my Dad." Haleigh's head popped up from my shoulder to lean in and observe the picture. "That's my Mom."

"She's really pretty," she whispered, reaching out to gently press her fingers to Mom's face.

"She's the most beautiful woman on Earth," I croaked, swallowing back tears, staring at her smiling face lost in time, gone for so many years that I can barely remember what she was like outside of the small snapshots that are all I have left.

"Who's that?" She pointed to the chubby toddler with a messy bowl cut held in John's arms.

"That's me."

"Really?" she ask, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I was just a few years younger than you. Sammy was just a baby." I placed my pointer finger right below his head. "I remember he stared bawling right after this picture was taken. Mom wanted to take another, but she couldn't calm him down. She used to joke that she wished he was more like me as a baby. He cried so much. I just thought he was sad all the time. I always tried to cheer him up by making funny faces at him, but it only ever made him cry more." The smile pulling at my cheeks was painful. I wanted to laugh, wanted to sit and sigh about good times long past and talk about my favorite memories. But it hurt. It sent a cold spike through my chest that twisted tightly and took all happiness with it. It left a deep pit in my heart that couldn't heal over and only grew wider the more days passed and the more memories faded away into nothingness.

"Sammy's a giant! He can't have been that little!"

I was still staring at my mother. I could barely hear Haleigh's words.

"Yeah, he's quite the sasquatch."

"Okay, on three. One. Two. Three, push!"

Haleigh pushed the back of the mattress as hard as she could, unbeknownst to the fact that I was carrying the entire weight of the thing myself, jumping with excitement as the mattress moved forward without a hitch. She had insisted that I bring it into the library so she could jump on it in front of the fireplace, but I was more relieved to have something to sleep on other than lumpy couch cushions and flat pillows. I hoped it still remembered me.

The mattress collapsed to the floor in front of the mantle with a loud fwomp!. Haleigh dove onto it and rolled to a stop beside the fire, giggling and kicking her feet in the air, letting them fall and bounce off the foam surface.

I pulled the deer away from the fire where I had left it warming and yanked off a chunk, handing it Haleigh. She nibbled at it contently, silently watching the fire as I pulled off a piece for myself, reclining onto the other side of the bed with a groan. It felt like heaven on my sore back and I couldn't help but let out a long serene sigh. Haleigh mimicked me with a grin, deer meat stuck in her crooked teeth. I smiled and turned to gaze at the ceiling, letting the smile fade from my cheeks as I thought about the day. Yeah, Cas was MIA, Sam had disappeared for the hundredth time that week and was still showing signs of something being off about him, we were running out of food, and the end of the world was coming and we had no way to stop it, but when I looked back to see Haleigh still smiling at me, none of that mattered anymore.

I hate this chapter.

I hate this chapter and I'm sorry if it is really shitty. It's just a simple filler chapter but it took me so long to write. I never thought that making Dean interact with a six year old girl would be so damn difficult. I was actually excited for this chapter. I came up with all these cute little scenes and everything, but when it came to writing them out, it was like trying to write an essay on the physics of Donald Trump's hair. I could have had this chapter done weeks ago, but I got so helplessly stuck that I almost moved on from this story altogether.

So, yeah, sorry for updating really late again. I just hope the next few chapters won't be so hard to write.

Also, I have a Wattpad! (Well, I had one before, but I deleted it and made a new one). Right now all have on there is a compilation of all my poems and short stories, which is mostly made up of ths poems from this story, but there are a few never before seen works on there, so you can go check it out MickeyBrave7676 if you are interested in my poetry. I am also currently writing a book that I will be posting on there once I finally finish writing the first chapter (which could be forever), but if you are interested you can follow me on there so you can be updated when I publish it.

As always, remember that reviews are like catchy songs. They make you really happy and get stuck in your head all day.