A/N: Warning, I am graduating, moving and getting a job, and I probably won't have a internet connection at the new place for a while. But! I am not abandoning this fic... mostly cause I love it so much... Promise to try and write a couple chapters before disappearing.

Yamato sat down in a cafe not far from Ren's home. The words still ringing in his ears.

" What the hell are you doing back?" he heard a growl. And turned his head to see his own second-in-command growling at him.

" Honjo." there was a warning tone in Yamato's voice as he answered.

" We're not in high school anymore, Ogata, so don't think that tone works with me anymore."

" Honjo..." Ichi's softer voice sounded.

" He has no right to come sauntering back as if nothing's changed." Honjo's voice was filled what Yamato could to his amazement define only as hatred. Towards him. Honjo, one of his friends hated him.

And he had no idea why.

" What..." Yamato started to ask.

" Ask Kamiya. He's the only one even remotely close to your side in this." Ichi cut him off sharply before dragging the still seething Honjo away and leaving Yamato stare after them in shock.

Finally he recovered enough to fish out his phone.

" Shunsuke..." he whispered when it was picked up on the other end.

" Yamato? What happened? Where are you?" came frantic questions that made Yamato realize he must be sounding really bad.

" A cafe. Near Ren's place. I... please come and get me..."

" The one on the corner? With green tables?"

" Yes..."

" I'll be there in ten." the phone went dead.

Kamiya was surprised at what he found. The person in the cafe looked so very little like Ogata Yamato he'd known in school.

The man at the table was older, much older than he should have looked, and completely broken.

Like a puppet whose strings have been cut.

" Come on. I'll give you a ride home." Kamiya said quietly and watched the man-puppet get into his car.

" I love him, you know." Yamato said quietly gazing at the passing houses through the window.

" I know." Kamiya's grip on the stearing wheel got a bit stronger.

" He told me he loved me the night before I left."

" I know that too."

" But I thought I could never love him. And now I do." It seemed Yamato wasn't even aware he was speaking out loud.

" Why would you even consider sleeping with him, if you didn't love him?" Kamiya's knuckles were turning white.

" I never said I didn't desire him."

Kamiya stayed silent since a big part of him wanted to kick Yamato for his stupidity.

" What happened, Shunsuke? Why do they hate me? Why don't you hate me?" Yamato asked quietly.

Kamiya looked at him taken aback. Then concentrating on the road again.

" You want me to hate you?"

" No.. That's not what I mean. You know what I mean.."

" Because unlike them, I'm willing to believe it wasn't your fault, well that you had no idea what would happen. And you couldn't have known he'd leave all of us because of that. You have to understand Honjo. Things went really bad after you left. And Honjo wasn't ready to deal with that. And it was easier just to blame everything on you."

" But blame what? What happened?"

" Ren, you see after you left, he stopped talking to us, talking to anyone. And then Ayaka was born and we thought things had gotten better, but then Kaoruko died, and Ren... He couldn't take it anymore..."

" Turn left here."

" Here?"

" Yeah. And stop by that red building." Yamato pointed at the building.

" Okay. Why did we stop here?"

" I've got an apartment here." Yamato said getting out of the car. Kamiya followed him with a surprised face.

" Why don't you live with your mother?"

" Don't want to." They entered the apartment.

" So what happened?" Yamato asked looking out of the window with his back to Kamiya.

" He tried to kill himself." Kamiya said slumping on Yamato's sofa.

Yamato was silent.

" I found him... it... Trust me I still see nightmares. It was terrifying."

" Can... Is there anything I can do?" Yamato asked desperately.

" No. This is Ren's life. The things that happened neither of you can erase them, nor the scars they caused. And I'm not sure there's any of the old Ren left anymore."

" There was a flicker of him. Just before driving away he looked at me. I mean really looked and said that we could have been happy. And it was him. The gun... the coldness... the disregard... that wasn't my Ren, but in that second... I swear he's still there. Still hurting and I need to do something, anything, just to make him hurt less."

" Well, I have no idea what you should do."

" I might have a plan." Yamato almost smiled. And Kamiya felt uncomfortable. Usually Yamato's plans involved him. And he really really didn't want to get in Ren's way.