Chapter Nine

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Sorry it took so long to update. This chapter was a bit harder to write. Hope you enjoy!

It was six weeks since he'd arrived at home and three weeks since he'd found the mystic book in his mother's drawer. He spent his time either reading the book in his room or looking through the other book his mother had given him to reference information or try and find answers to his questions.

Severus didn't think Eileen even suspected the book was gone as she hadn't confronted him about it. She must've just felt the charm and automatically thought that her book was still safe.

He had also been sure to keep all encounters with his father to a maximum of five seconds (he still didn't know what he was going to do about the man). He rarely ever saw him as he spent most of his time in his room or outside at the playground.

"I-I have to get to work to night," Eileen murmured softly to her husband. She set a tray down for him with food on it. Severus bit back a snort. Eileen could do so much better if she applied for a job in the Wizarding world. But Tobias had put his foot down right from the start and demanded that she get a "normal" job. Eileen, because she never attended a muggle high school and couldn't get anything that paid better, had been hired in a local diner as a dishwasher, washing dishes all night long.

She worked four nights a week, leaving Severus and Tobias alone. Those were the nights that Severus usually remained out on the playground alone, wander around or go out by the river, which he could see was becoming polluted very quickly. He wasn't worried about be mugged or attacked since he could do magic and protect himself. He quickly shoveled the food into his mouth so he could leave the house as soon as possible.

"This is disgusting," Tobias grunted, knocking the plate to the ground. He turned towards Eileen and began to yell. "Worthless! You're worthless! Can't even cook a decent meal!" Severus saw his mother drop a glass in fear. Severus watched the glass shatter into millions of pieces next to the fallen food.

Eileen went out of the room for a moment. When she came back, she asked. "Severus, have you seen the broom?" He shook his head. Severus watched his mother's shoulders sag.

Magic? Severus mouthed the suggestion to her. She nibbled on her lip, casting a worried glance at Tobias, touched the side of her dress where her wand would be. Severus gave her an encouraging smile. She gained courage from his smile and began to take it out to fix the glass. Eileen's wand trembled.

Tobias stopped her by screaming, "Don't! Don't you dare use it! Don't even think about it!" Eileen obeyed her husband and quickly dropped her hand to her side. Severs groaned at how easily his mother gave in. He had to do something.

"Leave her alone!" Severus said quietly from his spot on the bottom stair. Severus took out his own wand. "Reparo!" The glass fixed itself easily, flying back to one piece. Tobias watched the glass with wide eyes, which quickly narrowed at Severus. But before Tobias could say anything, Severus turned the wand on Tobias and repeated, "Leave her alone."

"The boy's grown a pair has he?" Tobias exploded, jumping unstably from his armchair. His father looked positively rabid. His eyes were wide and he was breathing heavily. Severus wouldn't be surprised if foam started to erupt from his mouth. "He thinks he's a man now just because he can wave a stick? Well, let me tell you, boy! You're far from being a man let me teach you something about manhood!"

Tobias lumbered over to the stairs where Severus stood and raised his hand to strike his son, who flinched. Mentally scolding himself, he faced his father again, composing his face into an unreadable expression. He couldn't expose his emotions like that! Merlin! He had been in the service of the Dark Lord! How could his father intimidate him so much? He vowed to keep his emotions in check while dealing with his father. He just had to. But Tobias had already seen Severus's reaction.

"Stop! Stop! Both of you!" Eileen cried, racing between the two. She tried to get Severus to lower his wand and Tobias to backtrack, but it didn't work. Tobias and Severus were already in the middle of a fight, and neither was going to back off.

"Ha! That's right, boy! You better be scared of me! Even with those little stick things, I'm still better than you!" Tobias snarled, pushing Eileen aside easily.

"Even if you were a wizard, you wouldn't be better than me!" Severus sneered, a fire ignited in his black eyes despite his calm exterior. "You are a drunken bastard who—"

"You are stupid, boy," Tobias hissed, advancing on his son. Severus took a step backwards, going to a stair. Now he was nearly his father's height. He took another step backwards and now he had the advantage. Seeing this, Tobias jeered. "You're a coward." I AM NOT A COWARD! He raged inside.

"I'm not the one who beats up twelve year old children or smacks around his wife," Severus replied evenly, not showing how much that remark affected him. "If you're so tough, why not face your fear of magic instead of trying to suppress it?" He smirked.

Tobias lunged for Severus, his large hands closing around the small throat. Severus gasped, writhing and begging for air. His wand had dropped to the ground in the surprise attack and so Severus was left kicking and clawing for the hands to release him. Severus felt his body start to go numb from lack of oxygen. Was he really going to die? Was Tobias really going to strangle him to death?

As Severus wondered about Compensatia and his death, there was a large bang and Tobias was thrown from Severus to the other side of the room. Severus dropped to the ground, hitting his cheek on the bottom stair, gulping for air. Tobias, who'd hit the wall and crumpled at the bottom of it, was also trying to regain the breath he'd lost. Both struggling to breathe, they glared at each other, ready to go again.

"Stop!" his mother cried again.

They ignored her. His father had just tried to kill him. He would've too if Eileen hadn't stepped in. He could've just died and then Compensatia would've been for nothing. Absolutely nothing. Severus, having thrown his vow to keep his emotions in check, staggered to his feet. Seething, he raised his wand—

"Protego Pariettium!" Eileen cried and a blue barrier cut through the house, dividing it with Tobias on one side and Severus on the other. Enraged that his mother stopped him from retaliating, Severus turned to glare at her. But when he saw her looking at Tobias and not him, he had the suspicion that she erected the barrier to prevent Tobias from attempting to kill her only son.

"Stop fighting, please," she begged. She looked incredibly shaken and Severus couldn't figure out how she'd found the strength to do magic like this when she'd been afraid to fix a glass just a moment before.

"He started it. Your boy there started it!" Tobias snarled, pointing a finger a Severus. "Teach him some manners!"

"Get out of this house!"Severus thundered. "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

"This is my house, boy!"

"I don't care! Now get out or I will blast you out!"

"Go ahead. I dare you."

"Reducto!" Severus hissed, pointing his wand at the television. It was on his side of the wall. A jet shot from his wand and at the muggle device. It exploded instantaneously causing Eileen's weak shield to crumble and debris to hit all three of them. A thick black smoke erupted but with a wave of his wand, the smoke disappeared. He aimed his wand at the man. "Get out or you're next." He growled dangerously.

Sensing that Severus might follow through on his word and that he no longer had Eileen's shield separating them, Tobias grunted angrily like a bull. He looked around for a moment to see if he had any support but Eileen wasn't going to help him.

"Y-You should really leave," she said, tearfully. "You just need some time alone before you can c-come back."

He snarled at her too but realizing that he was outnumbered two to one and that the other side had a bonus, he spun on his heel, kicked the chair down, and slammed the door shut, muttering mutinously, "My house! My house! Gone for less than a year and he thinks…"

Silence stretched on for ages. Severus replayed the past ten minutes in his mind again, trying to decide if they were real or not. His adrenaline was dying down and all he felt was a sort of numbed relief. He silently twirled his wand, wondering if he really would've killed his father if his mother hadn't created the barrier.

At last Eileen broke it, saying, "I-I guess I ought to get to work now."

"Oh, I suppose so," Severus said, snapping from his thoughts. "I can get the food and dishes from dinner and, uh, clean." He waved his wand only to be stopped by Eileen.

"No magic!" she said frantically to him. "You're not of age and you could get in trouble. You've cast enough magic as it is. In fact, neither of us should do magic. I just hope Tobias doesn't go ranting about it."

"He won't"," Severus reassured her, feeling slightly deflated that she wasn't going to keep doing magic. "He doesn't want to look crazy, you know, talking about magic and wands and such. The other muggles would put him in a lunatic asylum."

Eileen nodded absently and gave him a little pat on the shoulder. Then she hurried out for work. Severus sighed and stuck his wand away and out of sight and then went to find a broom and dustpan, trying to remember where they might be.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you serious?" Lily breathed as Severus had just finished telling her what he happened with his father. It was the day after and Severus had met Lily at their usual spot under the tree where he'd first spied on her and where he explained magic to her. It was theirs. He'd never told Lily the full extent of his family's troubles but after telling her the story (leaving out some parts that made him look bad), he was sure she had a good idea what went on in the Snape family house on Spinner's End.

"Completely." Severus said. "He left. He's gone."

"Well, that's really—" Lily began only to be cut off by the arrival of Eileen.

"Severus," Eileen Snape approached them, breathless. Lily and Severus looked up, looking surprised.

"Mum," he said, standing up from his spot on the grass. Eileen's eyes were red and she was trembling. Something was clearly wrong. "What's wrong?"

"It's your f-father," Eileen stumbled. "H-He's in the hospital. Come on, dear, I'll explain everything. He got hit by a truck."

Severus opened his mouth to say that he didn't care about his father and he hoped he was dead, but stopped when he saw his mother's expression. Sighing, Severus cast an apologetic look at Lily, who was on her feet too.

"I'm coming with." She said, her green eyes set. Severus didn't exactly feel like arguing. He gestured to his mother and Lily to get moving. They left the playground and went to the end of the street where their old battered car and slid into the driver's seat. Lily and Severus clambered into the back. Eileen slammed on the gas. She was going far beyond the speed limit but it didn't matter as the car was charmed to not be noticed by muggles.

"What happened?" he asked, not caring at all. This was the man who had tried to kill him last night—he still had the purple bruises to show—no wonder he was in the hospital. Karma. But her fear and anxiety over his accident was starting to rub off on him.

"He was out drinking. He'd gone to the nearest bar after he left last night," Eileen began, "But he drank too much. He stumbled out into the street just as a truck passed. An-and he got hit…." Eileen barely hid her sob and Severus saw that she gripped the wheel tighter and tighter.

And Severus couldn't explain it but was feeling horribly guilty.

She parked the car in the parking lot and all three sprung from the car and raced into the hospital. They entered and were met with a receptionist.

"Snape, Tobias," Eileen said, trying to get her breath under control. "I'm his wife."

"Sorry, but no one can go in, Mr. Snape is still in critical condition…a coma…" Severus stopped paying attention.

Coma…Tobias Snape had been unconscious for over six hours, into a deep sleep that he hadn't awakened from…that he might never awaken from. Probably from intoxication and then from getting hit…or something like that. Severus found he couldn't really think of the details and focused on his mother. He'd never seen her like this. Her eyes were wide and half-crazed and she was shaking so badly. Severus felt bad for her seeing as he knew how it felt to lose the person he loved with all his heart. He grasped for thin air and found Lily's comforting hand. He looked sideways at her and found her giving him a small smile.

"Use the Confundus Charm if you really want to see him!" Severus hissed to his mother. Desperate, Eileen took out her wand, trembling even more. He wondered if it would work. Confundus Charms were harder to do than Shield Charms and Eileen didn't use magic a lot— if at all.

"Confundus!" Eileen whispered, pointing her wand shakily on the muggle receptionist. The receptionist stared at her.

"What are you—" she began but Eileen raised her wand again.

"Confundus!" she whispered again but with more force. The lady looked quite dazed for a moment as if she'd forgotten where she was. Then at once she seemed to recover some sort of memory.

"Oh, right, come this way, Mrs. Snape." She said dreamily, getting up and leading them down the hall to the last room on the left.

The opened the door and let them in. Severus felt like he'd been hit by the Whomping Willow. Inside was a man covered in bandages and in a body cast. Wire ran from his body to machines and every once in a while there was a beeping noise.

"Oh, no!" Eileen gasped, running over to her husband. Severus felt Lily's hand squeeze his. He vaguely heard a door close, leaving the three of them in silence save for Eileen's loud crying.

He didn't know exactly how to comfort his mother. She was sobbing in a heap, on her knees by his bed. Severus started dumbstruck. He knew his mother felt something towards his father but he didn't know that it was this deep. But mostly, he didn't know how to comfort himself. To be honest with himself, he didn't think he'd get this emotional about Tobias.

"You're not supposed to be in here!" a woman screeched. Severus, Lily and Eileen all looked up at the sound of the newcomer's voice. She was a stern looking woman with a hair in a bun; Severus thought she looked a bit like Professor McGonagall. She held a clipboard and had a few people behind her. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave, now. Mr. Snape isn't allowed to have visitors just yet." She gestured to the two assistants behind her. "Jessica and Barbara, please escort these three out."

Jessica grabbed Lily and Severus and guided them out while Barbara took Eileen. "Stay out here," They told them and left. Eileen was still shaking again and Severus realized that they'd have to wait a little while before Eileen could drive them home without crashing the car.

"I should probably call my parents," Lily said quietly, releasing Severus's hand for the first time since they'd arrived. "I'll be right back, alright?" Severus nodded and watched her go off to the reception desk to borrow their phone. He turned his eyes back to his mother.

"Mum, it's okay," Severus said to his mother. "He'll be fine." Eileen didn't answer. Not knowing what else to do, Severus hugged her. He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly, hoping it would do some sort of good.

XXXXXXXXXX

Severus spent the evening walking around the neighborhood, thinking. His mother had locked herself in her room and wouldn't come out so Severus had quietly slipped out. Tobias Snape. He was forty-one and didn't have a job. He was an alcoholic and gambler. He didn't love his wife, even thought she loved him, and had a son, who he also did not like.

When he found a dark alley that was empty, he slipped inside it. Rubbish was lying everywhere and Severus had to scout for a good place that wasn't covered in it or some sort of mysterious liquid. Leaning against the nearest wall, he exhaled; slightly surprised that he could see his own breath this time of night and season. He slid down the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees. He couldn't remember much about his childhood (only flashes of it). The only thing he was actually sure about was that he'd been lonely until Lily came along. But he was certain that if his father had ever shown any affection for him, any at all, he would've held it close to his heart and would've never let it go. He racked through his brains some more. Nope. Nothing.

"Dad…" he said into the night. He licked his lips. The word felt funny on his tongue. He tried it again, "Dad." He couldn't say it. The word just felt wrong.

His life was still screwed up. Even though Compensatia had given him another try, he was still in this same old mess. Severus clenched his fists tight. He had no love for the man…but there was a tight ball of fire in his stomach that wouldn't stop burning…. Tobias had gotten drunk and then he had gone into the road and gotten hit. The ball of fire grew. He had left the house because Severus told him to. The ball of fire grew even bigger. His nails dug into his skin, breaking it. Tobias Snape was in the hospital because of Severus. If he hadn't order him to get out of the house….

He had indirectly harmed his father.

Just like he had indirectly killed Sirius Black. Both had reacted from his actions and gotten themselves hurt, and in one case, killed. Not that he'd cared for either care but still…

He pounded the brick behind him. Damn it! He raged. Why did he even care? It wasn't like his father had ever done anything for him but give him injuries. "Because you still want his love and approval" a tiny little voice suggested.

"I DO NOT!" Severus snarled. "I don't need anyone's approval!"

"Oh, yes you do. You want a nice family like Lily's…or Potter's." the voice continued. "You wanted a family almost more than you wanted Lily. You want to be part of something. That's why you joined the Death Eaters. So you'd be part of a family, a brotherhood, of sort. And now that you have a chance to try again because of Compensatia and you failed to reach out to your father again and instead put him on the road to death. And you don't hate your father, Severus, you love him, that's why you flinch when he tries to hit you. You flinch because it's reality coming back to say that he doesn't love you back, not in the way you want."

"Wrong," Severus snapped. "You're wrong!"

"Am I?" the voice said softly. "I guess we'll see."

Severus closed his eyes and sank his nails into the folds of his clothes. He tried to get his breathing under control but he couldn't. He was falling apart. The image of his father in the hospital in a coma flashed into his mind, "You want a family…and you failed to reach out to your father again…you don't hate your father, Severus, you love him." The voice said again.

That was when the first tear fell.

He didn't try to stop them; he just let them fall freely down his cheeks. After all, no one could see him.

XXXXXXXXXX

"It'll be alright," she murmured. Severus didn't say anything. He hadn't told her about his breakdown two nights ago in the dark alley. In fact, he hadn't really mentioned it to himself. It was a moment of weakness, he had even cried. Severus Snape did not cry for any reason. He shuddered slightly at the thought of someone finding out. "Severus, magic, magic!"

Severus hummed. "What?"

"Magic!" Lily responded, excitedly. "Magic! We could give him potions and heal him!"

"I don't know, Lily," Severus responded quietly. "That may not be a good idea…"

"Why not?"

"Because magic affects muggles differently. Especially healing potions because potions are designed with the wizard's core in mind," Severus said.

"The what?"

"Your magical core," Severus said a bit more moodily that he should. "You know, the thing that allows you to do magic? Potions are made with that in mind; to help the wizard's magical core. But muggles don't have a magical core and their body can become overwhelmed. They'd die."

"But there's a way to change that, right?" Lily asked. "You can make a potion for muggles, right?"

"What?" Severus asked, giving her a weird look. "I don't think I can. I don't think it's been done before."

"But surely someone has tried to make potions for muggles!"

"I don't think anyone's tried," Severus said slowly. He racked his brain, trying to think of any Potions Master that tried to create a potion for a muggle. He honestly couldn't think of any.

"You could try," Lily suggested.

"I don't think it's possible."

"You could try." Lily repeated.

"It won't work."

"Sev, this is your father!" Lily implored. "He's family! You only have on family! You should at least try!"

"But—"

"But nothing, Severus Snape!" Lily snapped. "You may not like your family, but they're your family! You think I've given up on Petunia just because she's acting dumb?" You should…Severus thought internally but had enough sense to keep quiet and not say that out loud. Not with Lily glaring daggers at him.

A memory of his mother, on her knees by his bed, holding his hand, came into mind. He felt a stab of pity for her. She didn't have much but for some reason she wanted to have Tobias Snape. He disliked the man with his whole heart and wished him dead (or that's what he told himself, anyways), but not if it was going to hurt his mother. He remembered the first bit of magic she'd done last night, it was to protect him from Tobias and then to protect Tobias from him. And then he remembered the voice inside his head telling him what he craved most was a family.

"I don't know how—" Severus began. Lily cut him off again.

"I know you can do it, Severus! I know you can make some sort of potion for your father." She lowered her voice. "I know you helped Nott, everyone does!"

Severus's eyes opened wide with shock. Everyone? He had done everything to keep that quiet. He had taken precautions… "How?"

"Please, that Hufflepuff Abrams, he was in the Owlery all night with his owl and he said he never saw you," Lily hissed. "It's not too hard to put two and two together. Either you made the potions or you stole them. Again, it's not hard to guess which one you did."

Severus sat speechless, trying t o work it out in his mind. Nott, Malfoy, Lestrange…they must've told their friends and the news must've traveled that Severus had a skilled mother. But then it must've reached Abrams who said differently and speculation must've gone from there…Severus gritted his teeth. He should've gone to the Owlery that night instead of going halfway there and then back to the dungeons. Stupid mistake! He scolded himself.

Lily's gaze seemed to scorch him. He sighed.

"I guess I can try…" he reluctantly agreed, thinking of the book he'd taken for his mother. There was probably an answer in that book of his, or at least a good point in the right direction. He'd never made potions before for muggles but he guessed there was a first time for everything…plus he needed a challenge. He was sick of brewing basic potions.

That's what he told himself, though. Because he wasn't ready to admit that he was scared for his father…or that he might actually feel something for him despite everything. Not yet…