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Chapter 10, Day 26-27

Callie

My very first vacation was to San Francisco, California. It wasn't even beyond my home state and yet it was the greatest vacation I'd ever been on. I had traveled with my mother nearly six hours from LA to San Francisco just to celebrate my 5th birthday.

My only memory I recall from that trip was my birthday, in which my mother urged me to cross the Golden Gate Bridge. I was terrified of heights, even back then. I repeatedly refused, whimpering to myself. "It's too high, mommy! I can't do it!" I cried, obviously panicked. My mother flashed a warm smile at me, the one that had always soothed me in the roughest of times.

"Don't be afraid," she assured and reached next to her to shake the railing of the bridge. "Look, it's nice and sturdy. Nothing's going to happen to you."

As convincing as she was, I didn't believe her. I was as stubborn as I am today. "I'll fall!" I whined, stomping my foot. She shook her head in response, and her blonde curly hair—so like mine—fell around her shoulders.

"No, baby, you won't fall. I'll always be there to catch you," she replied softly and compassionately. I stared down the bridge, debating. I finally grasped my mother's hand and took my first steps across the beautiful bridge. Yes, it was extraordinarily high, but everything was all right.

That was the simpler times. Before I was diagnosed; before I met my father; before high school; before we traveled to Australia and returned on Flight 815. What I would give to go back to those times.

~o~

Streams of water fell down my face as I poured a bottle on my head, ridding the sweat and dirt from my hair and face. The water was cold but it felt refreshing. In the past week, I had really done nothing, which was a change for me. I didn't wish to get involved in anything that included danger or adventure. I decided that wouldn't be fair to Charlie.

Speaking of him: "Hey, Callie, you seen Claire's luggage?" I faced him and shook my head.

"Not that I know of," I replied, shaking out my hair. He sighed, frustrated, and continued on his merry way. "Bye!" I added sarcastically. He's been avoiding everyone up until two days ago. It was something Rose said to him that made him snap out of his whole depression phase, but he was different. I don't imagine he will be the equivalent of what he was before until Claire walks through those bushes. She had really made an impact on him somehow.

Feeling bored, I trekked out in the jungle for fresh fruit I could find. Anything sounded amazing right now—I was starving. I wasn't completely afraid of the jungle anymore, but I wasn't enthusiastic about being in it. But I'm not a lazy person and after a week of doing nothing I needed to go, well… do something.

I froze when I heard voices coming from a clearing in the jungle. I cautiously hid behind a tree, praying that it was people from our camp. I peeked out slowly from the dense bark and breathed a sigh of relief. It was only Locke, Boone and Walt… and Vincent the Dog. I wonder if Walt knew that his father was looking for him.

"You can do better than that."

"You might want to take it easy on him."

I raised my eyebrows at the scene before me. In Walt's hand was a knife and it was aimed at one of the giant trees in front of him. John Locke was seriously giving a little kid knife throwing lessons. He was absolutely insane. "Are you serious?" I asked, coming out from behind my tree. The three faced me, startled, but I only looked at Locke. "You're teaching a little kid how to throw knives?"

"I'm not a little kid," Walt defended.

"You're ten. That's considered little," I replied.

"He wanted to learn," Locke broke in, giving a small smile. "I felt obliged to teach. I suppose you're going to tell someone?"

I looked away with a smirk. "No, I'm not going to tell anyone. I would, however like to observe."

"You may," Locke answered, his smile remaining when he turned back to Walt. He placed his hands on a knot in the tree. "See this knot, Walt? I want you to aim for it. Focus on it. Picture it in your mind's eye. You know what that is, right?"

"Like a picture in your head?" Walt replied. Locke nodded, handing the knife to him. I tensed up, preparing to back up if that knife bounced off the tree at me.

"That's right," Locke stated. "Now do it again. But see it. See it before you do it. Visualize the path." He let go of the knife, giving full possession of it to the ten year old boy. As he got ready to launch it, I exchanged a glance at Vincent—as weird as it sounded, even the dog looked frightened.

I held my breath as Walt hurdled the knife at the tree, fully aware that if that knife went slightly off course, it could hit Boone right in the chest. But I took one second to blink, and when I reopened my eyes, it was wedged in the tree, right where Locke had been pointing to.

"He actually did it," I said in awe to myself. I grinned a little as the little kid cheered about how he actually saw the path. I was just glad he didn't injure anyone. I turned my attention to a new figure approaching us. Oh, crap, this can't be good.

"What the hell is going on?" Michael yelled, and snatched the knife from Walt's grip. "Give me that!" Walt tried to explain and protest to defend himself and Locke, but his father ordered him to return to the camp. "You gave my boy a knife?" Michael turned on Locke dangerously. I rolled my eyes. He overreacted to everything.

I snapped back to attention when Michael spoke to me. "And what exactly are you doing out here?" I shrugged. "Did Charlie let you come out here?"

"I guess. I was getting fruit," I replied nonchalantly.

"And you decided to come out here and not tell anybody about this?"

I nodded. "Pretty much. He wanted to learn. It's productive."

"It's dangerous!" he retorted, his voice raising. "Man, what would your parents think of you approving of this?" I almost laughed.

"Oh, please. My mom was more childish than I am," I snickered. The smile dropped from my face. "And my mother's dead and my father's in prison. I don't think either would care."

"That explains a lot," I heard him mutter under his breath. I growled angrily.

"Excuse me?" I started to move towards him, but Boone held me back.

"All right, that's enough. Stop picking on her," Locke cut in, which only switched Michael's irritation back onto him. Michael was ticked off with him. He even once stuck the knife threateningly in Locke's face. Like I said, he overreacted to everything. I guess I understand his point, but I was too annoyed with him to care. He didn't know me, how was it his job to assume anything about me?

I jumped a little when Boone attacked Michael, grabbing the knife from his hand. Hypocrite! He was the one that held me back in the first place. "Hey, stop!" I exclaimed when Michael slugged pretty boy in the face. Locke managed to break them up.

"Easy, easy, easy. You're the one that was waving the knife around. He was just trying to make sure you didn't hurt someone," Locke interjected. I helped Boone off the ground, muttering 'idiot' under my breath. "Michael, I know it's been difficult to bond with your son. You know why he's formed an attachment to me? Because I treat him like an adult. You still treat him like a boy."

"He's ten years old," Michael declared sharply. Well, their argument went on like this, of course, until Michael ordered, "Stay away from me and my son." I raised my eyebrows at him as he left.

"Well, that was fun," I stated sarcastically and retreated from the site, leaving Locke and Boone to stare after me.

~o~

The temperature wasn't terrible the next morning; it allowed for a cool sea breeze. Around me, I gathered certain information on the people of the beach. Rose was already enjoying her day, being the optimist that she was. She clutched her ring as she walked along the shore of the beach. I have to admit, her sense of hope was admirable. Boone and Dani were near Dani's tent, holding hands and smiling at each other. I have no idea when they got together, but everyone saw it coming.

Shannon and Sayid were also talking and laughing, heading down to the caves with the French maps in his hands. Sawyer as always sat next to his tent, a book perched in front of him. Tracey and Steve were involved in a conversation. And here I was alone, just observing, which actually didn't bother me. Sometimes it was nice to just be alone and get some time inside my own head. It didn't happen often, usually because I tried to stay out of my mind and let my heart do the thinking considering my mind wasn't exactly the most reliable. But still, it was relaxing every once in a while.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Walt coming near me. I smiled at him as he approached. "Hey, kid. What's up?" He sat down next to me, draping his arms across his knees.

"Callie, can you keep a secret?" he requested. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, god; what'd you do now?" I asked.

"Nothing!" I raised an eyebrow. "I was just wondering. I wanted to keep on taking the knife lessons from Mr. Locke. If I did, can you not tell anyone?" I stared at him for a minute.

"Shouldn't you listen to you father?" I tested him. I wasn't serious though; I hated sounding like an adult. Walt hesitated.

"Do you listen to yours?" he asked.

I snorted. "No!" I answered laughing. "He's a jerk. I didn't even know him until I was seven." I looked over at Walt, realizing I wasn't supporting my case much. "Not that you shouldn't listen to yours though."

"I didn't know Michael until two days before the plane left. He's supposed to be my real father but… he's not, you know?" he explained to me. I looked at the boy in surprise. I had no idea that he wasn't aware that he had a biological father until a month ago. Having experienced first hand daddy issues, I almost considered him lucky. But I guess it was still unfortunate. He was just a little kid.

I nodded. "So you won't tell anyone?"

"I won't tell anyone," I agreed. I lightly pushed his shoulder. "Just make sure not to get caught this time, kid." He smiled.

"And I'm not that much of a little kid," he protested. I smirked.

"You're in elementary school," I replied. "To me that makes you a little kid." I paused. "But you'll get there." His smile widened.

~o~

Later in the day, I headed to the caves to fill up my water bottle. I was able to just barely dodge the next blow out between Locke, Michael and Walt. It went worst than the last one. I snuck past in the background, making sure not to be noticed. When things calmed down, I knelt near the pool, dipping my bottle into it. Screwing on the cap, I glanced around the area. I saw Walt sneakily grab Vincent's leash and take off. Narrowing my eyes, I reluctantly started to follow.

I, for the most part, stayed within sight of him, but made sure that he didn't hear me. I just wanted to ensure that he didn't get himself into any danger. Look at me being the responsible one. I jumped as twig behind me cracked. Rotating around, I froze and my eyes widened. Oh, no. Not this again.

The figure of my mother flashed me her warm smile, the soothing smile. I shook my head, chanting to myself, "It's just a hallucination, it's just a hallucination, it's just a hallucination." The figure stepped slowly towards me, her smile remaining.

"Hello, Callie," the figure of my mother greeted sweetly. My hands shook as I backed up a few paces.

"You're not real," I whispered, shaking my head frantically. I felt tears welling in my eyes, but I wouldn't allow them to fall. I couldn't. Reaching out, the figure touched my bare shoulder. Her skin was warm, soft and very much not transparent, unlike most of my hallucinations. "Please. I love you, mom. But please, leave me alone. I can't do this. I can't mourn you properly if you keep showing up like this. P-please leave me alone. You're not real," I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Why would you think I'm not real?" my mother asked calmly, stroking my hair. I gulped silently.

"You're dead. Charlie and I buried you. You can't be here," I said, my voice trembling, as much as I tried to sound collected. She grinned once more.

"I am dead, Cal." I struggled to form words several times. I had no idea what to say. Am I really talking to the ghost of my dead mother? It couldn't be possible. "Follow me." She tore her hand away from my hair and started off towards the trail Walt took. I wasn't sure if I should oblige or not; but Walt had gone down this path. Maybe I could locate him again. Reluctantly, I pursued.

This woman could not actually be my mother. This wasn't her personality. If her ghost came to me, she'd be joking around with me, trying to make it seem like her absence from the living world wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. She would explain to me what was going on and she would make sure I was alright. This wasn't my mother.

"Who are you?" I murmured. Her blue-green eyes—a reflection of my own—met mine. She didn't look confused, as my mother would have.

"What do you mean, Callie?" she questioned innocently. I crossed my arms, looking more confident than I felt.

I shook my head. "You're not my mother. Who. Are. You? What are you?" I demanded harshly. The figure of my mother—whatever it was—paused, before smiling once more.

"You'll know in time," she responded. Her voice was dark, and it was disturbing hearing my mother's—my loving, kind mother's—voice sound like that. She continued on the path, not sparing a second glance to make sure I was following. However, I did follow, falling in step close behind her. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from the figure. I knew it wasn't my mother. I knew my mother would never come back. So why did she keep haunting me?

"Where are we going anyway?" I questioned, breaking the silence.

"You'll see."

"Why can't you just tell me?" I growled, my irritation sparking, and tears of frustration building up in my eyes. The figure did not answer, nor did she even acknowledge the fact that I spoke at all. I didn't talk afterwards, and focused on keeping my balance through the rugged terrain.

Finally, a faint noise sounded through the forest. Followed by another, and then another. I stopped near a clearing, not even noticing that the figure of my mother had also stopped. Listening intently, I picked up the sound of a growl, and rustling. And then a scream. I was alert by now. What the hell could that be?

"Your friend Walt is in danger," the figure spoke in a gentle tone. My eyes widened, and I turned to catch a glimpse of her expression. She appeared as calm as ever and even slightly amused or maybe interested. Her eyes met mine. "I want you to help him."

"What do you mean he's in danger? What's wrong? What did you do to him?" I spat out frantically. She chuckled, causing my eyes to narrow at her.

"Oh naïve Callie, I didn't do anything," she answered bemusedly. She took her eyes away, staring back out into the forest as if expecting something. "And I mean just that. He's in danger. And I need you to help him. It's your test."

I raised my eyebrow. "My test? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I could feel my temper rising at each passing second; I could have an attack if I wasn't too careful. But at the moment, I could care less.

"I could explain," she said. "But do you really want to risk a little boy's life for your own curiosity?"

I glared at the figure, but my attention was broken by a loud thud nearby. And suddenly, the figure of my mother was gone. I did a 360, but she was nowhere to be found. Another loud growl sounded. I bolted in the direction I heard it coming from. Finally, I saw Walt no less than 20 feet from where I was standing. I was shocked at the sight.

Walt was protected only by a large tree stump and some heavy vines surrounding it. Scratching and biting at the tree was a freaking polar bear. Another one. Where the hell were all these polar bears coming from? Maybe Sawyer was right about Bear Village. Walt's scream snapped me from my astonished thoughts.

Anxiety took over me for a moment, and I stood frozen there hyperventilating and shaking. I was supposed to help him. How? There's no way in hell I could take on a polar bear. Not alone. Another scream caused me to jump and get a hold of myself. I knew what to do.

"Hang on Walt, I'm getting help!" I called out to him. I turned on my heel and sprinted at top speed to the caves. I had to get someone; Locke, Jack, anybody. I suddenly crashed into a body, knocking me off my feet. A wave of relief washed over me as I looked up into the faces of Locke and Michael.

"Walt's in trouble! He just—follow me!" I gasped out. I saw Michael's expression transform to complete horror, and he wasted no time in following my orders. I led them to Walt and the polar bear, feeling another shock of relief in the fact that they were exactly as I left them, and that Walt still hadn't been harmed by the bear.

I could only watch in terror as Michael and Locke quickly formulated a plan. I hid behind the tree they started to climb, shaking terribly. I was never as brave as I led people to believe. Right now I felt like the most useless person ever; I felt sick and like crying. No, wait—I was crying. I felt both guilty and relieved, because I realized that if nobody else had been around, Walt probably would have been dead by now because I was too cowardly to do anything.

My fear washed away little by little as I witnessed Locke and Michael's strategy slowly coming together and efficiently working. Soon, the bear was stalking away with several wounds and Walt was safely in Michael's embrace. I was still firmly planted behind the large tree, shaking. Yep, whatever 'test' this was, I for sure failed.

"You all right, Callie?" I heard Locke call from up in the tree.

"Honestly?" I said, my voice quivering slightly. "I don't think so. Can we please go back to the caves? Please?" Locke chuckled a bit.

"Yes, yes, let's go."

~o~

The tension between Michael, Walt and Locke had officially calmed down after that incident. I smiled at the father and son from a distance as they smiled and laughed together. I still carried a bit of self-hate about earlier. God, why was I such a coward? Why did I have to be this way? With a heavy feeling weighing in my chest, I carried two full water bottled in my hands, making my way over to my uncle. I noticed something in his hands that I was almost positive he didn't have before.

"Hey," I greeted. He must have jumped ten feet in the air and hid whatever it was behind his back. He smiled innocently.

"Hey," he answered, maneuvering when I tried to peek behind his back.

"What was that?"

"What was what?

"What you were just holding?"

"Holding? I wasn't bloody holding anything."

"Yes you were. What are you hiding?"

"I think you've gone mental, Cal, too much time in the sun."

I launched for whatever was in his hands. "Give it!" I managed to grab the book-like object out of his hands. Immediately, I recognized it and gaped at him.

"Charlie! Is this Claire's dairy?"

"No…" he answered guiltily.

"It is! You were reading her diary! Charlie!"

"Okay, okay! I was reading her diary, I know, I'm scum. But just give it back for a second, there was something I saw!" He reached for it, but I jumped out of the way.

"No! You can't just read through someone's diary, it's private!"

"Cal, please! I saw something that might aid in her rescue."

That statement is what got through to me. Reluctantly, I handed the book back to my uncle, and he flipped back to the page he was reading. I took a seat next to him, peering over at the neatly written words, letting my own curiosity take over. Charlie pointed to a sentence and I read through it.

"Here. She mentions dreaming about a black rock," he stated. I blinked.

"I don't get it."

"The Black Rock, it was something Sayid mentioned."

"Yeah, I still don't get it."

Charlie gave up and instead tried Kate and Sayid, who were sitting by a fire close to us. Sleepily, I shut my eyes, exhausted by the day's events. Being bipolar, I rarely felt tired this late at night, so I cherished in every moment I actually could sleep. I let sleep take over this time, letting the soothing crackling of the fire ease my mind.

I was out throughout the whole night, which was a very rare occasion for me. When I woke up on the morning of October 19, I was met with one of the biggest birthday surprises I've ever had.

Claire was back.

~o~

Callie and I actually share a birthday, which was indeed yesterday, so I decided I wanted to get this out today in honor of it.