Chapter 10
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AN1: Thank you so much for the support. PLEASE, PLEASE, LEAVE A REVIEW. Just so you know I spent hours debating something which happens in this chapter, so I hope you like what I decided to go with.
"And? What did they decide?" Meredith asks, looking concerned, preparing herself for the worse.
"They decided that what you did disgraced the hospital and our profession." The Chief reveals.
"So that's it, my careers over." Meredith realises, not sure how she feels about that.
"No." Richard reveals, "You did this for me, Meredith, for Adele, and so I told The Board that you were just covering for me, that I was the one who tamped with the trial." He explains.
"No! I can't let you do that." Meredith says, not wanting the chief to give up his career for her.
"Too late. It's already been done." Richard reveals.
"I'll go to The Board, tell them that it was actually me." Meredith informs him.
"You can't. I told The Board that it was me, and that if you, or anyone else, came saying it was you or anyone else then you were just doing that to protect me." Richard reveals.
"Richard, don't do this. Don't do this for me!" Meredith tells him.
"I already have. I promised your mother that I would watch out for you, and that's exactly what I am doing." Richard explains.
"What's going to happen to you?" Meredith asks, looking at him in shock and gratitude.
"I'm stepping aside as Chief, going back to being a General Surgery Attending, and I'll probably never be able to do another trial again." Richard reveals, already planning on passing his diabetes trial over to Bailey.
"Chief I…." Meredith starts to say.
"It's okay, Meredith, this way I'll be able to spend more time with Adele, which is what I want." Richard reveals, honestly for him this is great outcome, he gets to protect Elias Grey's daughter, and will be able to spend more time with Adele.
"Are you sure?" Meredith asks.
"I'm sure." Richard confirms, and once he does Meredith walks over and hugs Richard,
"Thank you." Meredith says, as she hugs her boss and father figure tightly, not sure she could put into words what she is currently feeling.
A little while after he told Meredith what happened Richard has gone searching for Derek and has found him in his lab packing up all the materials from the trial.
"You heard from the FDA?" Richard asks, as he sees what Derek is doing.
"Yes, they're sending the trial to Phoenix. I'll probably never do another trial again." Derek admits.
"I've been blacklisted to." Richard reveals, having expected that which is why he passed on his diabetes trial to Bailey.
"You've been blacklisted?" Derek asks confused, looking at Richard, "That makes no sense, why would you be blacklisted, too?" he asks, and as he does he sees the look on Richard's face and realises something, "No, you took the blame for her!" he asks angrily, "Why would you do that?"
"Because she was trying to help Adele, and I owe this to her, and Elias." Richard reveals,
"I know the truth, I'll go to the board, tell them the truth." Derek reveals, completely meaning that.
"You'd do that to your wife?" Richard asks, sounding surprised by that.
"Yes, because for once she needs to face the consequences of her actions." Derek reveals, telling the truth.
"Here career would be over." Richard reminds Derek, who looks down at the ground, "I've made my decision, I talked to the board, and made it clear that if anyone came to them with another story then they are lying."
"Richard…." Derek starts to say.
"I've made my decision, Derek, I'm not taking it back." Richard reveals, "For me doing this just means I can't be Chief, which means I can spend more time with Adele, for her it would mean the end of her career, and I won't do that for her." Richard says, taking a step forward, "I okay with my decision, and even if you're not I need you to respect it, for me." Richard requests, before leaving the lab leaving Derek to think about what he was just told.
As Derek is dealing with what Richard just told him Addison, who has just finished a surgery is walking up to Bailey who is looking at the board.
"You alright, Miranda?" Addison asks curious, as she walks up to her friend.
"I'm fine." Bailey says, telling the truth, as she looks at Addison, "What about you? How long you going to keep up with this you're okay when you're clearly not thing you've got going on?" she asks curious.
"Just a few more days." Addison answers, not even a little bit surprised that Bailey is speaking like that.
"Well, as long as you have a plan." Bailey informs Addison, "But you know, if you want to throw out the plan and just talk about whatever it is that is going on with you, you've got a lot of people who will be willing to listen, including me." Bailey informs Addison, telling the complete truth.
"I know, Miranda." Addison says, putting her hand on Bailey's shoulder, "It's not that I don't want to talk about it, it's just, I can't, not yet." Addison reveals, as she can't talk about trying to become a mom until she knows whether she has a chance at IFV or whether she'll have to try surrogacy or adoption.
"Okay." Baileys says, with a nod.
"Addison, Miranda." Derek says, walking up to them and the second she sees his face Addison knows something is wrong.
"Derek, what's wrong?" Addison asks concerned.
"The Chief, he's done something remarkably stupid, and he won't listen to me." Derek reveals, "But you two, he respects both of you, you're probably the only ones who can get through to him, so I need your help to try to convince him not to do this." Derek reveals, looking between Addison and Bailey.
"What did he do?" Bailey asks curious, knowing it must be something pretty big, and pretty stupid, to have Derek talking about this.
"Took the blame for Meredith." Derek reveals, causing Addison and Bailey too look completely shocked, and angry.
A few minutes later Addison, Derek, and Bailey basically storm into Richard's office, and the second the storm in Richard, who was sitting at his desk looks up, and while Addison and Bailey walk towards Richard Derek closes the door and hangs back a little.
"You told them." Richard realises, looking between Addison and Bailey and recognizing the angry looks on both their faces.
"Yep, I couldn't talk you out of this, but seeing as Miranda and Addie are the only two people who you respect completely, and who happen to scare you, I figured they'd have a better chance." Derek admits, telling the truth, knowing that if Addison and Bailey can't talk Richard out of this then no one can.
"Why are you doing this Richard?" Addison asks.
"Because it's the right thing to do." Richard responds, standing up.
"Helping that girl get out of facing the consequences for her actions, again, isn't the right thing to do." Bailey says, sounding angrily and as she does Addison notices that Derek doesn't even seem like he wants to defend Meredith, which she finds rather interesting.
"She did what she did for Adele! For my wife!" Richard reveals, "She doesn't deserve to lose her career for that."
"Richard did you ask her do that? Did you ask her to tamper with the trial?" Addison asks, trying logic to get Richard to see sense.
"Of course not." Richard answers.
"Then this isn't your fault. Meredith choose to mess with the trial, a trial that could have potentially helped thousands, if not millions, of people, she did that, not you." Addison says, "Don't take the blame for her choices."
"I already have, and I'm not changing my mind." Richard reveals, looking between his three friends, feeling touched by their concern, but he's not going to be talked out of this, "Now Derek, Miranda, I'd like to talk to Addison alone for a few minutes." Richard requests.
"You're making a stupid ass decision." Bailey says, before leaving, and even though he feels confused about what is going on, Derek looks between Addison and Richard he leaves too.
"Richard, this is a mistake, don't do this." Addison informs him, as Derek closes the door behind him and Bailey.
"No, it's not." Richard informs her, "Addison my affair with Elias effected Meredith's entire life, and I promised Elias that I would look out for her little girl, that's what I'm doing now."
"You're not responsible for the choices she makes, Richard. She's an adult, she makes her choices, she should face the consequences." Addison tells him, "You can't keep covering for her, you can't keep protecting her."
"I know, but this is something I have to do." Richard reveals, telling the complete truth, "I've made my decision Addie, and I didn't ask you to stay behind to argue with you about it."
"Then why did you ask to talk to me?" Addison asks curious.
"Because of what happened I'm stepping down as Chief of Surgery." Richard reveals.
"Richard, I'm sorry." Addison tells him, "This is exactly why you shouldn't take the blame for this."
"No, it's okay, I think it will be a good thing. I'll get to spend more of the time Adele has left with her." Richard reveals, "I'm okay with that."
"Really, you are?" Addison asks, feeling a little surprised by that, but a part of her gets it.
"I am." Richard confirms, "Addison, The Board wants my nomination for who will replace me as Chief of Surgery, and my nomination is you, if you want it to be." He explains, and once he does Addison almost can't believe what she heard.
"Are you serious?" Addison asks, looking at him in shock.
"Completely." Richard says, "You'll be an incredible Chief, Addie, if you want to be." Richard says, and Addison has to sit down on one of the chairs, "Addison?" he asks concerned.
"I'm not really sure what to say." Addison admits.
"Say yes." Richard says, sitting down in the chair next to Addison.
"It's funny, not that long ago I would have jumped at the chance, said yes in a second." Addison reveals.
"Then why aren't you?" Richard asks, finding this very unlike Addison.
"I want to be a mother, Richard, more than anything." Addison reveals, "I'm undertaking fertility treatment at the moment." Addison reveals, "I could do both, be Chief and a mother, but I don't think I could do it alone without becoming my mother, and I couldn't do that, not to myself, or any child." Addison explains, "So while I appreciate the offer, truly, I have to turn it down."
"Are you sure?" Richard asks, wanting to make sure Addison is sure.
"Yes, I'm sure." Addison answers, not sure if she is going to regret this, but knowing that for now she wants to focus on becoming a mother.
"When it happens to you you're going to be a great mother, Addison." Richard informs Addison, before giving her a hug.
"Thank you, Richard." Addison returning to the hug, before the two of them break apart, "I should get back to work, I have patients." Addison reveals.
"Of course." Richard says, and Addison stands up and walks out, as she does Richard realises that he has to try to figure out someone else to take over as chief as he was counting on Addison.
As Addison walks out of Richard's office she isn't overly surprised to find Derek and Bailey waiting for her.
"Did he say anything else?" Derek asks curious.
"Not really." Addison says, lying slightly but that's for the best, "I tried again to get him to change his mind."
"But he didn't." Bailey realises.
"No, he didn't." Addison confirms, "I don't think anything's going to talk him out of doing this."
"Great, just great." Derek says, sounding sarcastic, before walking away.
After Derek walks away Addison and Bailey exchange looks and then the two of them walk away as well, it being more than clear that neither of them, or Derek are very happy with what the chief is doing.
A little while after Addison walked out of the chief's office and didn't really explain why he wanted to talk to her alone, Derek is still packing up the materials from his trial when Meredith walks into the room.
"What are you doing?" Meredith asks, seeing him.
"The trial is being moved to Phoenix." Derek explains, "I've been blacklisted by the FDA, I'll never do another trial again." Derek reveals, knowing he is basically repeating himself, but he doesn't care.
"I'm sorry, Derek, really." Meredith tells him, "But I did the right thing, for Adele."
"What about Richard? He's taking the blame for you, what about the thousands of people who could have been helped, what about me? My career which is now in pieces because of a choice you made." Derek says, "You don't think about consequences, Meredith, or maybe you do, and just don't care."
"Derek, I did the right thing. I am sorry that you and the Chief got hurt, I am, but I did the right thing." Meredith reveals, "I even tried to get Richard to let me take the blame, but he won't let me." She reveals.
"So, you're saying that even knowing what you know now you would have done exactly the same thing?" Derek asks, knowing that the answer will tell him a lot of things.
"Yes, I would have." Meredith confirms.
"You're of my service." Derek informs Meredith, "I can't trust you around my patients, if you still want to do neurosurgery you can work with Amy, if she'll have you, but you won't be working with me again." Derek reveals, knowing that that is what he has to do, and planning on telling Amelia exactly what Meredith did so that she can make an informed decision about whether she works with Meredith.
"Okay." Meredith says, with a nod, "You said you can't trust me in work, can you trust me in our marriage?" Meredith asks.
"For weeks I've been trying, trying to think of a way to forgive you, to trust you, and I just can't." Derek says, telling the truth, "But I also meant what I promised on that post-it." he reveals.
"I know you did." Meredith reveals, "But if you really do hate me more than you love me, if you don't think you can trust, or forgive, me then we should break the vowel, because or relationship wouldn't be worth saving." Meredith reveals, as even with as hard as everything is for her, Meredith knows that she doesn't want a relationship like her parents, and so she is hoping that there is still something to fight for.
"In this moment I don't know if I love you at all." Derek admits, telling the truth, "And I know I'm not going to be able to forgive you, and I don't see myself every trusting you again." Derek admits, telling the truth.
"So that's it, we're over." Meredith says, the words being hard for her to say, but she knows that she has to say them.
"We're over." Derek confirms, "I'll collect the rest of my stuff over the next couple of days, and move back to the trailer full time." He informs Meredith.
"Okay." Meredith says, with a nod, "I…. Goodbye Derek." Meredith says, before walking out.
"Goodbye Meredith." Derek says, watching her walk away, and as he watches her walk away Derek realises that it hurts less than he was expecting it to.
A while later, Addison, who has been constantly thinking about her conversation with Richard, is sitting in the cafeteria eating a, a lot, because she is quite hungry thanks to all the hormones she is on, with Callie, Arizona, Teddy, and Mark.
"I need sex." Amelia says, as she sits down next to Addison, causing everyone to look amused.
"Hello to you too, Amelia." Addison says to her, giving her a look.
"Don't give me that look, I just really need sex." Amelia reveals, causing Callie and Arizona to exchange amused looks, "Is there anyone in this hospital who's single?"
"Karev is." Teddy informs her.
"He any good?" Amelia asks curious, though at the moment she wouldn't mind as long as it was sex.
"I don't know, Callie, Addie? He any good?" Mark asks, looking between his friends, not being able to resist the chance to tease them.
"When did you sleep with Karve?" Addison asks, looking at Callie, as she didn't know that.
"Before George." Callie answers, and Addison just nods.
"Is there anyone at this hospital who hasn't had sex with another person in this hospital?" Arizona asks curious.
"No." Addison, Callie, Arizona, Mark, and Teddy say together.
"And I though the practice was bad." Amelia comments.
"That's because it was." Addison confirms, "The hospital is just worse." She reveals, and once she does she, Amelia, Mark, Arizona, Callie and Teddy all drift into an amused silence as they eat their lunch, Amelia scanning the cafeteria for someone to sleep with while they do.
After lunch Mark has gone looking for his best friend as Derek was supposed to join them for lunch but then never did, though considering what they talked about it was probably a good thing, and after a bit of searching he finds Derek sitting in the old viewing room that he uses to hide away in when he doesn't want to be around other people.
"You missed lunch." Mark says, as he walks in.
"I know." Derek responds, continuing to read the file he is looking at.
"What's going on?" Mark asks curious, sitting down in another chair near Derek.
"Meredith and I are over, officially." Derek reveals.
"I'm sorry." Mark says, it being the first thing he can think to say, and as he does he notices the look on Derek's face, "But you're not, are you?"
"I don't know what I am." Derek admits, "Watching Meredith walk out of that room after we decided to officially end things didn't hurt as much as I thought it would." He admits, "I just keep thinking about everything, about what we've been through, and I just…." Derek says, starting to trailer off.
"Just?" Mark asks curious.
"Just trying to make sense of everything." Derek admits, "After the divorce I thought choosing to try and make things work with Addie was a mistake, but now I know I didn't really try, and the mistake was letting myself get so caught up in the life I thought I could have with Meredith that I didn't see who she really was." Derek admits, as he is pretty sure that if he let himself see who Meredith was from the beginning them he would have seen this coming.
"I think you needed to believe that Meredith was more, that she was more than a fling, or relationship, you needed to believe she was everything to you, your soulmate, because it was the only way you could justify throwing away, not really fighting for, what you had with Addie." Mark reveals, and as he does Derek just looks at him.
"How long have you been keeping that in?" Derek asks curious, as that speech came of way to easy for it to have been the first time Mark thought that.
"A while." Mark admits, "I just didn't say anything because you weren't ready to hear it, plus there was a chance that things could work out." Mark reveals, telling the truth, "Tonight, Joe's? We can drink until you forget."
"That would be great, and I would love to, but I want to get the rest of my stuff out of Meredith's place." Derek reveals, telling the truth.
"Okay, then I'll help and buy a bottle of scotch to drink at the trailer." Mark offers.
"That sounds like a good plan to me." Derek responds, telling the complete truth as he wants all of his stuff out of Meredith's house as soon as possible, and he and Mark drift into silence as they sit together.
Hours after Derek and Mark talked about Meredith Addison is sitting alone at hers and Amelia's house, just sitting on her balcony, drinking tea, even though the view isn't as good as the beach view she has gotten used to Addison still finds it rather relaxing.
"There you are, I was wondering where you were." Amelia says, walking out from Addison's bedroom and sitting in the chair next to Addison's, and as she sits down she notices the look on Addison's face, "Addie? You okay?" She asks curious.
"Yeah." Addison answers, not sounding all that convinced.
"Okay, there's something you're not saying." Amelia realises, "What is it?"
"Amelia…." Addison starts to say.
"Come on, Addie, you can talk to me." Amelia reminds her, "You know that."
"I turned down the position of Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace Mercy West today." Addison explains.
"Why would you do that?" Amelia asks, looking shocked, "That was your dream." Amelia says, knowing that.
"It was." Addison confirms, "But my dream now is to become a mother, and I don't think I could be the mother I want to be and Chief."
"Wow." Amelia says, with a grin, "I'm kind of impressed right now." She says, and as she does Addison smiles slightly.
"Bizzy's probably rolling over in her grave right now, and if the Captain found out he'd be furious." Addison comments.
"Yeah, probably." Amelia says, with a grin, then she realises something, "Does he know you've moved back to Seattle? Does Archer?"
"No, I haven't gotten around to telling them." Addison admits.
"That's going to be fun when they find out." Amelia comments.
"Yep." Addison says, with a nod.
"You know Addie, today you made the best choice for you, which is what any good parent would want, what's best for you." Amelia reveals, knowing Addison made the best choice for her future child too.
"I wouldn't know." Addison admits.
"No, but your kid will." Amelia says, with a grin, and the two sisters drift into amused silence as they sit together Addison believing that she made the right choice, but at the same time she can't deny that there is a small part of her is doubting a little as she just gave up one of her dreams for something that may never happen.
A while later Mark and Derek are both of them are sitting on the deck of Derek's trailer, drinking scotch, it having taken less time than both of them were expecting to get everything's of Derek's out of Meredith's house.
"So, you've got the trailer, and the land, and the frame of a house." Mark notes, "What are you going to do?" he asks curious.
"Live in the trailer, for now." Derek answers, "And for the house, and land….. I'm not sure." Derek admits, "I'm going to holt construction until I make a decision." He admits.
"Good call." Mark says, and the two of them drift into silence as they drink, Derek knowing he has a lot of decisions to make, but he doesn't plan on making any of them right now, right now he is going to drink with his best friend.