09/30/11 AN: Just doing some editing.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Ronco Chop O Matic by Popeil, LOTR or anything…by Tolkien… by Marvel… just a big Fan… Please Review. Just say no to Flaming and Trolling.
Thoughts
(Author's Note)
Hornburg
Chapter 10
"Who goes there," a lone voice called as King Theoden, his troops and the group from Rivendell approached the breach at Helm's dike.
"It's your Aunt Sally with mead and mince meat pies for your supper… Who do you think it is…? It is the Lord of the Mark, who wishes to enter, I, Eomer son of Eomund, speak."
A head looks out and says, "Quickly enter for the enemy is coming fast behind you."
Laura rides by Eomer and King Theoden as they discuss the merits of attempting to defend the dike.
"Boy, I'm glad Eomer and his men combined forces with King Theoden after warning us about Erkenbrand's situation," thought Laura. As she continues down Horn road, Hornburg looms in the distance. The stone fortress and Deeping wall looks like something out of the Feudal age. The last time she saw something like this was when Martin Sutter hired her out to kill some English thug who was hiding in the Château-Gaillard. If memory serves, all of that stone didn't help him either.
"If someone really wants to get in," Laura thought with a shiver as she gazed upon the immense fortress, "that person will find a way."
Everyone, but the rearguard left at the dike, marched up the causeway and entered the fortress.
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The Sylvan elves of Lothlórien guarding the border have been wary lately, as other guards have reported more sightings of orcs than usual. The two border guards, twin brothers actually, Killetlithar'wyn and Illian, who were patrolling the northeast edge of Lórien were no exception.
"Why did you volunteer to come out with me 'Wyn, you're no soldier, you're a court musician," Illian asked his brother.
"Hey, I wanted to see what you bragged about all of the time," 'Wyn answered, as he noticed something different. "Is it usually this quiet around here," whispered 'Wyn, as he and Illian were gazing out of the Lórien forest towards the Gladden fields and the Anduin Vale.
"No, not this quiet, it's too quiet, even the animals are quieter than usual."
"What part of the day is it?"
"It is still the afternoon. Why do you ask?"
"Just curious because it's starting to get unusually darker and colder out all of a sudden," whispered 'Wyn as he started looking around rather nervously. "This is an unnatural darkness that is falling around us."
Just as it became pitch dark around our two gallant guards, a strange soft humming emanated from a distance or was it close by, the distance was difficult to judge. The sound seemed to be coming from everywhere at the same time. They heard nothing else but the humming sound.
After a few moments, it stopped and they heard a plaintive voice pleading, "Help me". It seemed to be coming from one direction.
"Wait here, I think I hear something," whispered Illian, as he spotted a small light, almost firefly like in appearance.
"Wait, I don't think…," 'Wyn whispered, but didn't finish because Illian had already ran off into the dark.
"Where am I? I grew up in these woods and yet I don't recognize anything," thought Illian, as he once again heard a soft "help me" as he walked closer to the "firefly". When he reached the light, he stretched out his hand for it, and as quick as a thought it disappeared. Then he heard the giggle of a little girl. "Who's there? Are you lost little one," Illian asked the voice.
"No, but you are," a sinister young maiden responded behind him.
'Wyn strained to see in the dark, when suddenly he heard Illian scream, "Nooo…" that seemed to stop almost as soon as it started. 'Wyn ran in the direction he thought he heard Illian last. He stopped looking when he found him sitting on his feet with his hands tied to a spear that was stuck in the ground between his knees with his head mounted on the end of the spear. 'Wyn screamed and ran away, emptying his bladder as he ran. He ran as fast as he could run, running away from the sound of a laughing little girl.
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While everyone went inside the fortress to get ready for the pending attack, Laura decided to familiarize herself with the place. After examining the Deeping wall, she decided to seek out Gimli for his advice. She eventually spotted him in a hall as he left the armory.
"Hey Gimli," Laura shouted to the dwarf as she walked towards him.
"Yes Laura, how may I be of service," Gimli said with a bow.
"Yeah yeah, real funny, I thought I saw a potential weakness in our defenses and I was wondering if you and I can come up with some surprise to spring on the orcs when they come knocking," Laura suggested.
"Splendid idea," agreed Gimli as they made their way to the Deeping wall and other locations.
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The sky was growing overcast, dark and foreboding. It looked like death itself was about to visit. Despite the weather, every solider was on the wall awaiting the imminent attack. Aragorn was standing at the top of the outer wall of the fortress, looking out towards the dike, when Laura, Gimli, and Legolas approached him from behind.
"What have you two been up to, may I ask?" asked Aragorn of Laura and Gimli. "I noticed you two have been keeping a few of the men busy as well, outside and inside of the Deeping wall."
"Laura noticed some potential problems and thought that we could take care of them," replied Gimli, as he looked towards Laura.
"I just thought about how I would attack this fortress, if it was my mission," explained Laura as she shrugged. "I just got these two guys to help me."
"What did you have to do with this," Aragorn asked Legolas.
"They just asked me how far I could accurately shoot my arrows," Legolas answered defensively.
Aragorn just snorted at Legolas' answer.
Suddenly a loud shrill whistle sounded out at the dike, followed by the sounds of a great battle.
"What was that whistle sound," asked Legolas, as everyone looked towards the battle that started at the dike?
"Oh, a friend of mine gave me a survival whistle once, she thought I might need it," Laura derisively said, "I never needed it, and so I passed it on to Haerl, a soldier who is watching over the dike and told him to use it to warn us when the orcs attack. I guess he must have thought it was a good idea."
Soon the rearguard made a hasty retreat back to Hornburg. A short time after that a soldier came up the stairs to the top of the wall where Laura was standing.
"Hey, Haerl, how'd that whistle work for you," asked Laura.
"It worked just fine, milady. I used it to alert the line that the orcs were attacking," replied Haerl, as he handed the whistle back to Laura, "Thank you for letting me use it," he said with a quick bow before returning back down the stairs.
Laura noticed a black tide of orcs slowly appear at the edge of the dike before suddenly washing over the top. "So, it begins," Laura stoically replied as she turned to face the other three.
While Aragorn was facing the coming orc horde and planning his next move, Legolas and Gimli were arguing over who were going to kill the most orcs.
"Boys, let's put aside this useless argument for now, since I am going to kill the most orcs anyways, and get to our places, hmmm," Laura reassured the boys as she pushed them on their way?"
"What do you think she meant by that," Gimli grumbled to Legolas as they started to walk to another section of the wall.
Laura turned and stood by Aragorn, and they both watched the orcs pour thru the dike to assemble in formations before Hornburg.
"I agree with Legolas," Aragorn shared with Laura, "I too would have felt better if we had a hundred Elvin archers at our side."
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Two border guards, Séndir and Anul, were on their way to relieve Elilmaril and Illian, when they heard something running towards the small clearing they stood in. As the sound drew near the border guards readied themselves for an attack.
"Orcs from the sound of it," suggested Séndir, as he stood in a fighting stance with an arrow nocked on his bow.
"No, I don't think it's orcs," replied Anul, as he stood with his knives ready. Suddenly, the source of the commotion emerged from the dense forest. "It's 'Wyn," Anul noted, "I wonder what he is doing out here instead of Elilmaril, and what he is running away from?"
'Wyn did not notice the other border guards and would have run past them, if Séndir had not stood in front of him and stopped him.
"'Wyn, what's wrong and where is your brother," asked Séndir?
"Wyn just looked at him with a panicked look in his eyes, like a deer running away from a forest fire.
"Calm down," suggested Anul, "and tell us what is going on."
'Wyn took several gulps of air, and then shook his head as if trying to shake something loose from his mind.
"I wasn't supposed to be here today," gasped 'Wyn, "but I traded duties with Elilmaril, so I could spend more time with Illian. Someone attacked us while we were patrolling. Illian heard something, it might have been a little girl calling for help, but I did not see her," 'Wyn continued between sobs. "He ran off into an unnatural darkness that surrounded us. Before I was able to go assist him, I heard him scream. I ran to his aid, but it was too late, he was dead."
Before he could continue, a black arrow shot out of the wood line and impaled itself thru the back of his neck and out of his open mouth. 'Wyn dropped like a stone to the earth. Startled, Séndir and Anul looked around for any sign of an approaching enemy, but they found not one.
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The dark of night encroaches upon the battlefield. Both sides light torches, as they wait for the battle to commence. Orcs and men stare menacingly at each other in the same way that a pack of wolves and a pack of guard dogs would react upon seeing each other through the links of the master's security fence. Rain begins to fall as if the heavens were trying to extinguish the fires of war. The orcs respond to the rain by stamping their feet and pounding the ends of their spears upon the ground. The hatred both sides feel for each other is as palpable as the rain pouring down their faces. Suddenly, there was a flash of light as lightning struck Mt. Thrihyrne, the mountain that forms the back of Hornburg, followed by a resounding boom that seemed to shake the very ground and signal the orcs to commence their attack.
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Galadriel is pacing the throne room, as Celeborn's Border Guard Captain presented the border guards' reports of attacks on the border watch. When the Captain finished his report and left the room, Galadriel approached Celeborn as he sat on his throne.
"Are you still having dreams of the two females fighting in our forest," Celeborn asked Galadriel.
"Yes. At least now, I know that one of them is Laura, but I do not recognize the other darker skinned female. She almost looks like a Halfling, but I do not recognize her as being one."
"It troubles me as well, that you do not recognize the race of the other female, especially with the reports of a mysterious girl killing our border guards."
"Yes, who ever it is knows my magical influence does not go beyond our realm. It is almost as if the person knows that they can strike at the fringes of the forest without hindrance. "
"This is a bother since I keep hearing rumors of an orc troops marshalling in Mirkwood, but I am unable to get any corroborating information because our scouts keep ending up missing or dead just like some of our border guards."
"I could send for Laura, she did say she would help us," offered Galadriel.
"Ienoedain (The maiden of the race of men!)," blurted Celeborn, as he stood up and began to pace the room! I hoped we could take care of the matter ourselves without outside interference."
"She is not the average maiden," argued Galadriel, who held her tongue on the old argument she and Celeborn have had concerning the abilities of females, "She would be able to ascertain the validity of the rumors and help take care of this mysterious female."
"Well, if and when you feel that we need her, send for her, but I want her to report to you, not me. I have men to prepare for possible combat," Celeborn said as he left the room.
"That is just the way I wanted it, my dear husband," whispered Galadriel.
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To say that the orcs' attack on Hornburg was brutal would be an understatement. They attacked the wall as waves overwhelm a beach. Black wave after black wave came at Hornburg. Every Orc had but one desire and that was to be the one to get over the top of the wall and kill the king. Unfortunately, for them, they had a major impediment to their quest - and her name is Laura. If anyone cared to look for her, they would find Laura on the top of the Deeping wall pushing back orcs as they kept climbing up scaling ladders and coming over the top. Laura could hear her boys (as she has began to think of them), Gimli and Legolas, calling out their killing count.
"That makes ten," yelled Gimli.
"Seventeen," answered Legolas.
"Boys, you're getting slow," countered Laura as she whipped around on the heel of her left foot and using her hand blades and right foot blade to behead two orcs at the same time, "I just took down fifty-six and fifty-seven."
Gimli and Legolas just glanced at each other and started to get serious about the contest.
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Morgar, the orc chieftain, wasn't happy unless he was killing someone, and with the number of dead Rohirrim lying at the foot of the Deeping wall, well, he should be feeling ecstatic, but he isn't. Each section of wall is coming close to being overwhelmed, but one, it is not only lagging behind, but the female warrior who is securing that spot is doing it by herself. Morgar looked at the foot of the wall under her and saw a hill created with his men, his dead men, and he does not like it one bit.
"Deruk," screams Morgar as he looks for his aide.
"What do you want," Deruk yells as he runs up to his Chieftain.
"I want you to take your best men up to that point and get rid of that female warrior," Morgar orders as he points to Laura up on the wall.
"What is Suk doing I wonder," thought Deruk, "Well that's what I get for sending a girl to do a man's job."
So, Deruk set off and gathered some of his biggest and strongest men to accompany him to kill one female.
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Deruk decided that he and his eight men would take three separate ladders to approach and attack her. He thought his three best men should be able to stall her long enough for the rest to get over the lip of the wall and challenge her as a group. As they ran to the wall, they went past the growing mound of dead orcs and quickly thought a prayer to whatever gods was willing to hear their pleas of assistance.
"I'm glad I chose the three biggest and strongest of us as point to go ahead of the rest of us and stall her," thought Deruk, as he followed his men up the ladder.
When Deruk got over the wall with the rest of his men, he saw one of the three leads already beheaded and he got there in time to watch one, behind her, break his sword trying to sever her spine, while she was busy dismembering the other one. Once she finished with that one she twisted around, did a variation of a high kick with her right foot and sliced the third giant orc open (from his crotch to the top of his head) like an overripe melon.
"Humph, and I thought I wouldn't have anyone else to play with," Laura taunted, as they began to surround her, "Let's play."
Laura bent down and picked up two of the orc swords that had been dropped moments before (Hey, they weren't using them.) and assumed a fighting position.
"Six against one," thought Deruk, "This should be easy."
Laura just stood there as they began to circle her, looking for an opening. One got too impatient and dived in with his teeth bared. Laura thought he looked iron deficient (bad diet, I suppose) and decided to supplement it by feeding him four feet of her sword thru his head. She then swung the sword down and made the orc to his right a few feet shorter by removing his legs below the knees.
The others were not very happy that she was neglecting them and tried to show their displeasure by returning the favor, but they could not get past her other sword.
The circle tightened.
The fight resumed. The best way to describe it would be to say she became a human Bronco Chop O Matic by Pompeii. Yes, she slices, dices, and makes julienne fries… If you like your fries made up of orcs than she is your chef.
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Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas were worried about Laura and ran to the section of wall where they had seen her last. When they got there they found a barely clad Laura (her clothes were literally cut away from her) pushing the ladders off the wall. The orcs abandoned them to search for easier sections of wall to scale (Hey, at this point they would rather lay siege to Hades then face her).
"Laura, are you injured," asked Aragorn as he noticed the orc blood that completely covered her.
"I'm fine Aragorn," reassured Laura.
"Hey, when I suggested you take a bath earlier, I did not think you would take it during the battle," teased Legolas.
"Is it her fault that she had so many volunteers to assist her," Gimli quipped.
They turned and faced the carnage below and spotted something unusual.
"They're trying to enter thru the culvert," said Legolas.
"That'll be kind of hard considering all of the stone that Laura and I put in the way," retorted Gimli. "Don't worry we did not stop up the stream, just made it a bit tighter to get thru."
"A man has to walk sideways to get thru it now and even than it would be a tight fit," added Laura.
"What is that," asked Aragorn as he saw some orcs carry a large spiny metal ball towards the culvert and a torchbearer running after them.
"Naw, it couldn't be," gasped Laura, as she suddenly remembered Gandalf's fireworks in the Shire.
"Legolas, take that man down," ordered Aragorn as he pointed to the torchbearer and saw the orcs shove the ball in the entrance of the culvert.
Legolas tried his best to kill him, but too many orcs seemed to be in the way, then it was too late as he fell down on the spiky ball and ignited it. The blast tore a huge chuck out of the wall and cleared out all of the stones from within the culvert, but the wall stood firm. The blast also knocked our heroes down, but they were not injured. When they regained their wits, they stood up and looked down upon the damages.
"It's a good thing you two put all of that stone in the culvert," Aragorn noted, "because if they were able to take that thing under the wall, it could have been much worse."
"Now they're coming in though the culvert, we better get down there and help out," Gimli shouted as he ran towards the stairs.
"Hold, Gimli, I think you three should go help with that," shouted Laura, as she pointed down to the battering ram that the orcs carried up the causeway, "I'll take care of the orcs coming in thru the culvert."
The other three hastily agreed and went to take care of the battering ram, while Laura grabbed a bloody shirt that was lying around (ok, it was on a dead person, but he did not need it as much as she did) and ran to the culvert entrance.
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Laura worked all thru the night and into the morning, keeping the orcs from storming thru the culvert. She had help from other men, but occasionally, they just stood back and watched her work. They had never seen a warrior fight the way Laura fights. She wasn't a mindless brawler, but a deadly dancer who could literally work her way into your heart, unless she wanted to remove your head instead. At dawn, the sound of a blast surprised the men, but it didn't stop them, they just kept hacking away. After a while, the orcs just stopped coming thru the culvert. Laura was suspicious and she went thru the culvert to investigate. When she reached the other side, she discovered that the orcs had run away and the battle was over. She told the men to repair the culvert, while she went inside to find Aragorn.
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As Laura walked thru the burg, she found her boys standing their arguing over whether Legolas' last one he shot actually counted as his final kill.
"Laura, help us settle an argument," asked Gimli, "Legolas told me his last count was forty-two, but when I told him that my last count was forty-three, he tried to cheat by shooting my last kill with an arrow and claiming it as his own."
"It was still twitching," grumbled Legolas.
"Let me get this straight," countered Laura, as she looked at Legolas, "You're trying to say that the orc was still alive."
"With my axe embedded in his nervous system nonetheless," taunted Gimli.
"Uhm… Yes, that is what I am saying," Legolas insisted.
"If Gimli had walked away, would that orc have followed him or been in a position to attack you in any manner," Laura asked Legolas.
"No," Legolas relented.
"Fine then, the final count is my forty-three to your forty- two," Gimli gloated.
"What is the prize for winning anyways," asked Laura.
"To be the others' servant for the day," mumbled Legolas.
"So, how many did you get lassie," Gimli gleefully asked.
"Oh, not that many, just eight hundred and forty-… four," retorted Laura, " Oh and boys, when you get my breakfast can you rustle up some clothes while you're at it. I'm going to go take a real bath."
Then Laura turned and walked away, while Gimli and Legolas stood there gaping and blinking at what had just occurred.