Disclaimer: this is again to specify that I do not own the borrowed texts and quotes, or anything Harry Potter.
Chapter ten: Reaching out
You don't need water to feel like you're drowning – Jodi Picoult
Ivy
A slightly chilly breeze blew back my midlength brown hair as I strode forwards, but that didn't bother me, I welcomed it, it cleared my head and relieved me of my thoughts of a little while. Which was exactly what I needed right then. Closing my eyes to enjoy the wind, I stood still a moment, letting it cleanse my mind, before carrying onwards, feeling increasingly content. Autumn was well and truly upon us now, I had long since lost count of the days, I only knew it must be a few weeks since we started living in the forests (and we were all starting to feel it) but I could tell by the changing of the woods around us that time was passing through the seasons. The leaves still on the trees above my head were brilliant golden reds, browns and oranges, giving the sun a brighter tint as it shone through the canopy. Meanwhile the leaves that littered the floor made the muddy ground even more slippery, meaning that I often skidded or fell when walking, too busy lost in thought or admiring the scenery. The weather was still fairly warm though, meaning that I could venture out today in nothing but a pair of boots and a button up coat over my usual clothes, but the air was starting to get a bit nippy, telling me winter wasn't far off.
Treading my way cautiously down a muddy banking, I reached out and brushed a tree with my hand for support, feeling the gnarled roughness through my fingerless gloves. The heavy locket and slim platinum ring bumped against my chest as I half jogged, half slid down to the bottom, but I paid them no mind. I'd become quite fond of my walks of late and made sure to go on one at least once a day, never venturing too far, but wandering just far enough to get a good idea of what the place we were staying was like, today we were in a forest of Hermione's choosing, I didn't know where but it was pleasant here. Yesterday though, we had stayed in the Barnsdale Forest, not too far from where I had lived, which had been a bit sentimental on my part, since I could remember going there as a child.
My walks helped me think, they cleared my head and did me some good, since it fast becomes suffocating being stuck in the tent all the time, lost as to what to do next and hungry. When my spirits were low I came for a wander, reminded myself exactly why we were here and that there was still something to fight for beyond whatever woodland, forest, mountain, moor, or whatever, we were in, and I almost always came back to camp feeling better. I needed these walks because I was starting to get resentful, not towards Harry for bringing us all out here, or Hermione for accidentally letting Yaxley see Grimmauld Place, no, I didn't care about that. What bothered me and in a continuous way, was HIM. But I quickly pushed him from my thoughts, remembering the state I had been in just before I left camp, the hopeless, furious, despair I had been feeling, all alone in the tent, where I wanted nothing more than to fling his ring away from me and cry. No, I was out here to forget about that, because when I got down like that I didn't make for very good company. Much as I hated it I often fell into a brooding silence, where I would find myself wanting nothing more than to apparate to wherever Malfoy was and give him a piece of my mind, I only restrained from doing so by walking off my anger, as I was now.
So, striding over a fallen log, I took several deep breaths and focused intently on the scene around me, it was beautiful and calming, and I needed to think of that and not him. But sometimes it was so hard, especially when it was my turn to wear the Horcrux as it was now. We'd discovered some time ago that wearing it for long periods of time made you crabby, but keeping it with one of us at all times was the only way to be sure it was safe, so we'd decided that every twelve hours it would pass onto someone else, just to make life simpler. When I headed back to camp it would be about time to hand over the Horcrux to its next victim, and part of me was anxious for that to happen, because the fury and pain it stirred up inside of me was something I'd be happy to be shot of, because I was angry at the best of times for the betrayal, but I could usually manage it.
However, the person whose turn it was to wear it next was Ron, and I was reluctant to give it to him. Ron was handling this the worst out of us all, he was hungry, frightened and away from his family, and prone to shouting at all of us even when he wasn't wearing the Horcrux, but put it on him and he was damn near cruel. He routinely blamed Harry for not knowing what we were supposed to do next or getting more information from Dumbledore while he could, he insulted mine and Hermione's food gathering abilities and usually refused to eat whatever we brought, making him even more miserable, and he almost seemed to enjoy asking me why I couldn't just have a useful vision already.
That was also one of the reasons I was out here, to try and coax on a vision, I didn't think it would work, because it had never worked like that, but I thought that maybe if I kept a clear mind and tried to stay calm that would bring on a vision. So far it hadn't worked, but I had to try. In fact, the only vision that I had had since the one about the Horcrux being destroyed, which we still hadn't managed, was the one in my dreams. And that was becoming increasingly troubling. It might sound strange, but the locket seemed to latch onto that vision, I couldn't stop thinking of it when I was sat alone and miserable with the Horcrux on, it always came to the front of my brain, when I could normally ignore it, and words like 'pushover' and 'soft touch' seemed to ring in my ears. Which only served to infuriate me, since those where the last things I was where Malfoy was concerned.
The vision vexed me, it still came practically every night and followed the same pathetic path, I just stood there, atop the Astronomy Tower, watching the snow covered landscape. Then Malfoy caught my attention and I went to him, and, ever since the night before we went into the Ministry, I reached out for him and he reacted. That, in its self was troubling when I was supposed to hate him, but what was far worse was that I often woke to find my hand outstretched, as though I was reaching for something in my sleep. This was unnerving to any of my friends who happened to be awake at the time, or who heard me muttering in my sleep, or who were waking me up from my shift on guard duty. They seemed to sense that something was off, and had asked me about it a few times, but now they seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk about it, or knew there were more important things to be dealing with, and left me be. It bothered me though, that I should be acting like that even only as a result of a dream, it suggested things that I would never even consider any more.
But that wasn't all I was seeing in my vision dreams, every now and again something else joined my vision, attaching its self onto the end. It wasn't there for long, it was just a flash, but it worried me and regularly consumed my thoughts, because of the sheer undiluted terror it caused me when I dreamt it. A huge snake, fangs bared and deadly, shot into my vision at the very end and scared me witless every time it did. I'd told my friends about this part of the vision, because it concerned me so much and I had even started to see it during my waking hours, so clearly it was important. However, none of us could make sense of it and it wasn't an immediate threat, so we left it virtually unexplored, though that didn't sit well with me. I'd recently stopped mentioning it to the others when I saw the snake though, because it only caused Ron to mutter about pointless visions, and I didn't need that, because he was already getting on my nerves.
Suddenly there was a rustling in the bushes ahead of me and I stopped, my hand instinctively reaching for my wand, which was proved pointless when a small woodland animal darted across my path, fleeing my presence. Stupid though it may sound, I jumped just as far as I would have done if it had been a Death Eater at the sight of it, thinking it was a ferret. Pressing my hand to my chest as though to slow my racing heart, and rolling my eyes at how ridiculous I was being, I mentally chastised myself for being so pathetic, it had only been a rabbit, so really it was crazy to even make the connection between the two, but I felt I was edging that way. Towards crazy I mean.
The whole thing with the Patronus ferret was starting to get to me, I'd been pleased at first, living in denial, of course I knew deep down what it meant but I was happy ignoring it, my friends however, were not. The first chance they got they sat me down and asked me about my change in Patronus, all of them knowing what would cause it but wanting to hear it from me. I only needed to think of Tonks, whose Patronus changed to a werewolf when she fell in love with Lupin, a great emotional upheaval on her part, and I was already shying away from the subject. My friends didn't doubt who the Patronus represented, we had all been there the day when Barty Crouch Jr (disguised as Moody) had changed Malfoy into a brilliant white ferret, and they could all connect the dots. So I was a bit stuck, I couldn't exactly deny that the change in my Patronus was linked to him, not when it was so obvious, so instead I opted for more denial and said that they all knew that I had been developing feelings for Malfoy, I'd told them all as much when I came clean after the fight at Hogwarts. But, I argued, the Patronus could just be left over from those feelings, not shifting, or perhaps a reflection of my anger at him, since ferrets didn't necessarily have great connotations. They were reluctant, but dropped the subject. I however, was having a much harder time doing so, and the thought of my ferret kept springing to mind at the most unwelcome times.
I could push it aside though, as I was becoming an expert at doing with unwelcome thoughts, and didn't let myself dwell on it too much. It was only a Patronus after all, it didn't mean anything. However, at that moment my actions betrayed me as; as soon as the thought crossed my mind my hand crept up to my neck, bypassed the heavy locket and griped the platinum ring tightly. I wasn't aware of doing that though; the action was so instinctive that I was no longer conscious of it.
Thankfully, I was spared my thoughts drifting any further into those forbidden topics when the sound of flowing water reached my ears and the riverbank where we had made camp came into view. I couldn't see the camp of course, thanks to all the enchantments Hermione put around it, but I knew exactly where it was and headed straight towards it. I'd had a few problems in the past with being unable to find the camp again after one of my walks, but that was no longer a problem, I'd had enough of getting lost in forests and wandering in circles on moors and so remembered where it was now. Walking through the enchantments I was greeted by the sight of Harry and Hermione huddled over a few fish from the river, intrigued I stepped forwards to help them prepare them for cooking, glad that we would have something substantial for dinner tonight. The fish cooking, I cautiously went into the tent and found Ron sitting on his bed, he had now fully recovered from his splinching incident but still managed to look unwell as he sat there, sickly pale with dark circles around his eyes.
"Hi," I said as I crossed the tent, pulling off the locket as I did so, the relief was instantaneous, I felt some of the weight be lifted from my shoulders and the aching pain in my chest lessen some, to a more manageable level.
Ron looked up and nodded "my turn is it?" he asked, shifting on the camp bed.
"Afraid so," I said as I reached him and dangled the locket from its chain in front of him, he looked at it loathsomely for a moment before taking it from me and slipping it around his neck. "So, how you feeling today then?" I asked conversationally, sitting down on the bed next to him and trying not to be too deterred by his sour expression, which wasn't too hard, as Ron wasn't very intimidating.
"Fine," he said bluntly, before nervously twiddling his thumbs and quickly turning to me, despite how abrupt the action was though I didn't so much as jump, already expecting it. "Did you See," he stressed the word, as though I didn't already know what he meant "anything about my family?"
Sadly I shook my head.
"Sorry, Ron," I said, genuinely regretting not having any news for him, because I was worried about the Weasley's and my own family too "I haven't seen anything new for weeks."
"Tell me about it," he muttered darkly, his expression losing the hopefulness it had had before and now looking shadowed and miserable.
Sensing that he wouldn't appreciate my company and trying not to be too offended, which was difficult when you're operating on the energy from a breakfast of a few stale biscuits, have a short temper any way and are going on a bad nights sleep, but I did my best. I said nothing, just made and 'um' noise of passive agreement and left the sleeping area and headed for the faded armchairs that made up the living room, since Harry and Hermione didn't need me. I sat there for a moment, slightly wound up and not sure what to do with myself, our water supplies didn't need refilling, we had done that only this morning and I was sure in the hour or so I'd been walking they couldn't have used it all, nothing needed cleaning either, and there was no need to grab my Guides book and go food hunting, since the others had taken care of that. I was at a loose end. Thinking about it, I supposed that was also one of the worst points about being here, she sheer pointlessness and helplessness you sometimes felt, it almost seemed sometimes like we didn't have a purpose, like there wasn't even a reason for us being here since we weren't doing anything. It was hard too, to spend all day with virtually nothing to do and it certainly didn't help the mood in camp, we were all anxious to get something done, but there was nothing for us to do.
So, as Hermione watched the fish, Harry inspected the Snitch once more, and Ron stared desolately at the tent roof, I drummed my fingers on the wooden arm of the chair, thinking about what I could do. Then it hit me, and I promptly sprang to my feet, knowing exactly what I needed right then. Grabbing Hermione's beaded bag I summoned out my photo album, which I had almost forgotten I had even brought, and took it back to my armchair, where I curled up comfortably and opened it up, actually pretty excited to look through the pictures. It did me some good right then, to scan the photo's of my family and friends during happier times, to remind myself again what we were doing all this for, and it had been so long since I'd looked through it. I didn't feel even in the slightest bit upset by the pictures, in fact they cheered me up immensely, at least until I reached the Yule Ball photo's and something struck me.
There was a photo missing, right in-between the one of me and Aleksandar dancing together in our clashing robes, and the one of all my friends before we went into the Great Hall, all dressed up in our finery and smiling and waving at the camera, though photo Ron kept throwing half admiring, half annoyed looks at Hermione and Harry kept trying to smooth down his unruly hair. I knew instantly which photo was missing, and I wasn't sorry to see that back of it, I just couldn't understand where it had gone. The absent photo was the awkward one Hermione had taken without my knowledge of Malfoy and I dancing, and I hadn't a clue where it had gone. Racking my brains I tried to remember the last time I'd flicked through the book, so I could figure out where it might be, and honestly couldn't remember, it could have been as far back as Christmas I supposed. Touching the spot where the photo used to be, a frown of confusion set deep in my forehead, I looked up at the others.
"Has anyone seen a photo lying around?" I asked my bewilderment evident in my voice.
Hermione glanced up then "you've lost one?" she asked and I nodded.
"I guess it must have fallen out," I said looking down at the album page again.
"It might be in the bottom of the bag," Hermione suggested from where she was cooking the fish "which one was it? I'll help you find it." she said getting up to help me but I quickly raised my hands to stop her.
"It doesn't matter," I said probably a little too quickly, as Harry raised an eyebrow at me "it wasn't important, I just wondered is all."
Not wanting them to know which photo was missing, or to think that I cared about it, which I didn't, I was glad when no one said any more about it, though Ron did mutter something I couldn't quite catch. Which was probably for the best. No longer in any mood to look through my photo's I shut the album, still frowning and wondering where on Earth the missing picture could be. It didn't matter though, I though as I put the album away and Hermione called us all to dinner, it wasn't like it held any kind of sentimental value.
The fish was nice, probably one of the best meals we'd had since we came out here, and I told Hermione as much which seemed to make her happy. As we ate the conversation turned, as it often did, to the subject of what we would do next. We again listed all the possible things Voldermort might have turned into Horcruxes, Hufflepuff's cup, Nagimi, something of Ravenclaws or Gryffindor's, and we thought about all the places they could be hidden, once again repeating the same old places with no new ideas. The Orphanage where Voldermort had grown up, Hogwarts, where he had first felt at home, Borgin and Burks, where he'd gotten his first job and Albania, where he had spent all those years as something undead. We had already tried the Orphanage, which we found had been knocked down and turned into a tower block of offices, Hogwarts was out of bounds of us now, lest we wanted to get caught, and we'd never have been able to get in Borgin and Burks under normal circumstances, let alone now. Albania too, was out, since it wasn't like we could search the whole country. Which brought us right back to square one, worsened all our moods and caused us to fall into a silence until Ron said,
"My mother, can make really good food appear out of thin air."
This offended Hermione greatly, not only because it was a slight against her cooking, but also because Ron was wrong. This sparked an argument about the Principal Exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration, gender roles and led to Ron being designated the task of cooking the next day. Harry and I had to play referees to their shouting match, which was also getting tiresome since they always seemed to be at each others throats, however, even I was shocked when Harry told Hermione to shut up. I stared at him in disbelief, having thought Hermione actually had a point; all Ron ever did was sit around and moan, he ought to actually try doing something for a change, and Harry was way out of line by taking his side. However, that was the wrong conclusion to jump to, as it turned out Harry had heard something beyond the camp, and after he checked that all the enchantments were still in place, which I could vouch for since I hadn't seen or heard the camp until I passed through them, we all gathered close to the tent door, stuck in some extendable ears, and listened.
Voices could be heard from outside, first of all we didn't recognise any of them, but then someone spoke and Harry had a reaction to them, noticing this we all looked at him questioningly and he identified one of the speakers as Teddy Tonks, Tonks' father. Thinking a little sadly of my Metamorphmagus friend, who I hadn't heard from since she sent me a letter with her husband Lupin, when he came to visit us at Grimmauld Place, ultimately asking to come with us on our mission and forcing Harry to chase him out, lest he abandon his wife and unborn child. I missed her and was upset to learn that her father, who was a Muggleborn, was on the run to avoid being caught and I knew that must be hard for her.
There was another familiar voice out by the riverbank, catching salmon with the others; it belonged to Dean Thomas, our fellow Gryffindor and also a Muggleborn. It was also distressing to hear him out there, having to run for his life, he had always been a nice person and I had always liked him, even if I was actually closer to Seamus out of the two of them. Though despite how it wasn't right that he had to exile himself like this, I supposed it was better he was on the run, as safe as he could be, than in the corrupt Ministry's clutches. Also joining Mr Tonks and Dean was someone who was familiar to us only in name, Dirk Cresswell, who we'd heard a lot about whilst in the Ministry and who Runcorn had caused to be captured, though he had escaped and run away. In addition to the three Muggleborns there were also two Goblins in the group, by the name of Griphook and Gornuk.
Harry, Hermione and I all listened with interest as the five talked about their time on the run, how they had escaped and why they had decided to leave, but we listened more avidly when one of the Goblins, Griphook, explained why he had left the Magical World. He spoke of being asked the perform tasks he felt were beneath him, but more to our interest, he spoke of his revenge against the wizards who tried to own him. He had not told Severus Snape that the sword of Gryffindor, which he was asked to put in a Gringotts vault, was a fake. Wide eyed we all looked at each other then, seeing the significance of this, however, it was promptly driven from our minds by what Dirk said next. He talked about a group of kids at Hogwarts, who had tried to steal the sword from Snape's office and had been severely punished for it. All of our minds started to reel then, thinking of our remaining friends, who knew of the fact that the sword had been left to Harry, and were the only ones to have reason to take it. We still waited though, hoping that it hadn't been them, but that hope was in vain as Dirk confirmed that one of the kids had been Bill Weasley's younger sister and at that I was sure that all of us, especially Harry whose expression had become agonised, felt our hearts plummet. Dirk continued on, saying that the kids were alright, but that they had been harshly punished by Snape for the attempt, which made all our bloods boil I was sure, but brought some relief at the same time. They were okay.
Their conversation then turned on to Harry and the wizards debated his believability, wondering whether he would come through for the Wizarding World, Dean championed him of course, and Teddy Tonks was right there with him in that, Dirk was unsure though, but hopeful that Harry could do something. However, one thing they all agreed on was Harry's, or rather our, ability to evade capture, and all said they would take tips from us any day. They went away then and we all reeled in the ears.
"Ginny…" Harry said quickly "the sword…"
"It's okay," I said gripping his arm reassuringly "she's okay, they said so and they have no reason to lie about it. Who do you suppose was with her?" I asked my gaze flicking between them "when she went to get the sword?"
Hermione suggested that it was Neville and Luna, and Harry and I watched her in mild confusion as she snatched up her beaded bag, which was a slightly odd reaction to the news, and reached deep inside it. Struggling she pulled out the portrait of Phineas Nigellus she had put in there while we were still at Grimmauld Place, to keep him from spying on us and reporting back to Snape. She then said that if anyone had swapped the real sword for a fake when it was in Dumbledore's office, then he would have seen it. When Phineas Nigellus appeared in his frame, after a bit of coaxing and some pleases, Hermione instantly blindfolded him with a swift flick of her wand, to keep him from seeing where we were, and as he raged about it Harry asked him about the sword, gaining his attention when Nigellus figured out who was speaking. He then confirmed our suspicions that it was Neville and Luna who had gone with Ginny to get the sword, insulting them all and calling them fools for trying to steal from Snape, which got all out backs up. Ron yelled at him to shut up about his sister and Harry snapped that the sword wasn't Snape's property; I meanwhile muttered something insultive at the former headmaster which Hermione covered up as she reminded us all we needed to be polite to him.
Unwilling, the boys and I fell silent as Hermione asked what had happened to the students who had tried to steal the sword and Phineas Nigellus told us that they had been sent to the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid to do some work.
"Snape might have thought that was punishment," Harry said triumphantly "but Ginny, Neville and Luna probably had a good laugh with Hagrid. The Forbidden Forest…they've faced plenty worse than the Forbidden Forest, big deal!"
Hermione then went on to ask if the sword had been taken from its case at all, before Ginny and the others tried to get it, perhaps for cleaning or something like that, which caused him to insult Hermione, calling her a simple girl and telling us that Goblin made armour didn't need cleaning.
"Hermione isn't simple!" I exclaimed "she only asked you a question." I snapped, hating anyone who insulted my friends, especially for no good reason. Phineas Nigellus was just a stuck up Pureblood, who thought that alone made him somehow of superior intellect to the rest of us and that alone made me dislike him.
Phineas Nigellus wasn't interested though, he simply said that he was bored of contradiction and went to leave, prompting Harry to shout out, asking for him to bring Dumbledore here though the painting. This caused another reproach from Nigellus, who called Harry stupid for not knowing that the portraits could only leave Hogwarts to visit their other portraits, and that despite the fact they could visit their neighbours frames inside the school, they could not venture beyond through them. After this rant he once again made a move to leave, however Hermione stopped him, asking again after the last time the sword had been taken from its case. And with great reluctance and irritation Phineas Nigellus told us that it had been when Dumbledore used it to crack open a ring. This was all we needed to know, because Harry and Hermione shared a joint look of understanding and it didn't take me long to figure out what this meant. It was the sword, the sword could destroy Horcruxes.
"Goblin made blades imbibe only that which strengthens them – Harry, that swords impregnated with Basilisk venom!" Hermione exclaimed enthusiastically when Nigellus was gone and she had stuffed his frame back in her bag.
"From second year?" I asked, feeling excited myself as I looked between the two of them "when Harry used it to kill the Basilisk?"
"Yes," Harry confirmed before glancing at Hermione and saying "and Dumbledore didn't give it to me before he died because he still needed it, he wanted to use it on the locket-"
"- and he must have realised they wouldn't let you have it if he put it in his will-" Hermione continued not missing a beat.
"- So he made a copy- " Harry added as our minds whirled at a hundred miles an hour, joyfully figuring this out.
" – and that's the one in the glass case- " I input quickly before Hermione added,
"- and he left the real one…where?"
That stumped us, I didn't have the foggiest idea where Dumbledore might leave the sword for us to find, and sharing a look with the other two as we continued to rack our brains I let them talk, sure I wouldn't be able to figure it out. I hadn't been as close to Dumbledore as Harry, though he had spoken to me fairly regularly, so wouldn't know where he might leave it, and I wasn't as smart as Hermione, so I left them to it, though I still pondered the question. Harry and Hermione threw a few suggestions in, including Hogwarts and the Shrieking Shack, which they instantly dismissed, as Snape would be able to find them there. So, Harry reasoned that the Sword must be someone far away from Hogsmeade, Hermione and I agreed, since Dumbledore hadn't trusted Snape enough to tell him the swords had been swapped so he wouldn't have trusted him with this. We were all excited, on our feet and pacing as we tried to understand this new problem, thoughts rushing from our brains to our mouths at incredible speeds and giving us a sense of anticipation we hadn't felt for weeks, however, this all changed when Harry asked Ron what he thought.
"Oh, remembered me, have you?" Ron asked bitterly from where he stood, a little off to the side of us, a stormy expression in place.
We were all a bit taken aback by Ron's mood, he had seemed fine only a moment ago, and while we were used to his sudden sulks this felt like something different, there was a fire flickering in his eyes, which had dull and lifeless for weeks now, his hands were in fists by his sides and he seemed to almost be radiating anger. This wasn't a good sign. Harry asked Ron what he meant as the abruptly furious redhead turned his back on us and crossed the room, threw himself down sulkily on the bottom bunk and staring unblinkingly upwards. Hermione and I shared an anxious look.
The floodgates opened then and there was nothing any of us could do to stop it, every little thing that had bothered Ron over the past few weeks came rushing out of his mouth in the wake of this final straw, the news that there was yet another thing we had to try and find and the danger his sister had been in. Ron didn't hold back and seemed to be to be addressing Harry and Hermione mainly, and left me out of his shouting. He seemed to be hurt by the amount of time the two if them spent together, planning, brainstorming and just generally talking. He seemed jealous to me and I could see that I hadn't really helped matters by disappearing off for my long walks, what with that and Ron's miserable silence Harry and Hermione really had no one to talk to but each other.
But still, Ron only seemed to want to rant and rage at them, or he did, at least until he had finished complaining about how this whole thing had been one giant misery for him, how he hated it and sarcastically adding how he was sorry if he was spoiling Harry and Hermione's fun by saying all this. His mood only darkened with every word he said and by the time he'd shouted at Harry that he'd expected him to at least have some kind of plan and insulted Harry so thoroughly that Harry had snapped back, he rounded on me as well. As I had the poor foresight to get involved.
"Ron," I said firmly but also quite soothingly, wanting to try and calm him down as he was saying stuff I knew he couldn't possibly mean and I was sure he'd regret it in the morning "this isn't Harry's fault-" I attempted to say but Ron cut across me.
"Yeah, that's it," he said coldly "you take his side as well, I knew you would."
"It's not about taking sides!" I exclaimed, trying to keep control of my annoyance, since I was sick of Ron's moods, we all had to deal with the same crap he did, why was he the only one acting like this? Didn't he think we were finding it hard too? "It's about getting through this and getting the job done. Together."
Ron snorted at that and I narrowed my eyes "Alright, whatever, because you're one to preach about us sticking together! You're never here any more, always off somewhere brooding over Malfoy and being all heartbroken-"
"Don't you dare!" I hissed, feeling a prang in my heart at his words and sensing my face begin to colour in rage and humiliation, however Ron carried on anyway.
"Merlin only knows why you care so much! But we all know that's what you're doing all day; thinking about him and how much he 'hurt' you. So you can't talk about us doing this together. Maybe if you stopped thinking about him for five minutes you'd be able to focus and have a halfway useful vision!"
"And maybe if you grew a pair and stopped complaining all the time, the rest of us might be able to stop walking on eggshells long enough to figure out what to do next!" I snapped, furious at what he had just said to me and not about to take it lying down, Ron was going to finally get a piece of my mind.
"You go on about me, 'brooding' all day," I continued, my tone mocking when I repeated his word "but you'd know all about that wouldn't you! You're not even making an effort, the rest of us are trying so hard and you just sit there and complain, so you have no right to shout at us!" I yelled, not even going to attempt to hold back, he'd wounded me so much with what he'd said.
I watched him as his expression grew even stormier, but I couldn't have cared less, his moods were bringing down the whole camp and we never said anything, yet he had the gall to bring up our faults! There was a fire raging inside me now; eating up everything inside me, all my calmness, until only hurt and anger remained. Ron was supposed to be my friend, how could he say those things to me? Eyes narrowed in pain and irritation I gritted my teeth as I looked at him, finding myself hating him for what he had said to me, mentioning Malfoy was a low blow, something that hurt me so much and I had thought that even in his worst moods Ron would never say something like that to me. But he had and now I was furious.
"Ron, please," Hermione injected desperately "you don't mean this."
However, other than a quick, heavy glance in her direction Ron didn't respond to her, he just turned back to me with eyes as hard as stones and venom in his voice.
"At least I'm sulking for a good reason," he said harshly and I bristled, the furious colour in my cheeks deepening.
"What reason?" I mercilessly shot back "the lack of food in your poor little belly?"
Ron's ears coloured and his scowl deepened as he spat back his response "my family!" he exclaimed "I'm thinking of my family, what they're going through, how they are, which is more than I can say for you, I'll bet you haven't thought of your family once, just HIM!"
I couldn't help myself, I recoiled as though Ron had slapped me, shocked and appalled that he could even think such a thing, when I had come to live with him after sending my family into hiding, when he knew how much I hated being parted from them and not knowing how they were. Seeing red I leapt forwards.
"What the Hell do you know?" I shouted as Harry caught me around the waist and held me back, stopping me from lunging at Ron "You haven't a clue what's going on in my head, or how I feel, you're too selfish and too dense to!"
"Ivy," Harry said in a tone that was almost soothing, though both his voice and his body were still shaking with rage at what Ron had already said "he doesn't mean it, he doesn't know what he'd saying."
"It's the locket," Hermione said almost tearfully "Ron, take of the locket!"
However, as I fought to free myself from Harry's grip and take my fury out on Ron, my mahogany hair forever getting in my eyes, causing me to puff out angrily to blow it away and scowl all the more, Ron ignored Hermione again and addressed Harry and I.
"I know exactly what I'm saying, it's exactly what Hermione's been saying about you, and what both of you have been saying about Ivy. Neither one of you know what you're doing, and it's no use denying it," he said glancing at Hermione for the first time in minutes as she shook her head in sad denial "I know what you said."
"I only meant that I wished Dumbledore had told you more," she instead, looking at Harry, whose expression had now hardened, pleadingly, before turning to me with tears in her eyes "and I know how hard it is for you," she said to me, though I was ridged in Harry's grip and I could feel my fire and strength slipping away from me. They had been talking about me behind my back, talking about Malfoy and me, and that thought was hard for me to grasp, it made me feel humiliated all over again.
"Ivy, I know you've got a lot to deal with, I was only hoping that you got over him soon, for your own good." She said almost sobbing and I felt my resolve harden, though not at her.
Hating how he had stripped away all our hope, leaving exactly what this was bare for us to see, a botched operation, where four teenagers were running around on half facts and theories with no real chance of success, I turned my narrowed gaze on Ron. I was angry, unable to believe that he was selfish enough to do this to us, to blame us for everything and act like he was, but I didn't hate him, I hated what he was doing and what this was.
"So why are you still here?" Harry asked in a tone that appeared to be calm but had a furious shaking undertone and he let go of me, though now I made no move to go to Ron "If I've let you down so much and Ivy can't tell you what you want to hear?"
"Search me," Ron said plainly, his own fire dwindling but his dark look firmly in place, he felt no remorse for what he had said to us.
"Go home then," Harry said firmly.
"Yeah, maybe I will!" Ron said his tone suddenly menacing as he took a step towards Harry, who did not back down "Didn't you hear what they said about my sister? But you don't give a rat's fart, do you, its only the Forbidden Forest, Harry Ive'-Faced-Worse Potter doesn't care what happens to her in there, well, I do, all right, giant spiders and mental stuff-"
Hermione took a step towards me, her expression as pained as my own was hard, though I couldn't stand to see Harry and Ron fight either, it was different when I was yelling at one of them, though I suppose that it shouldn't be, but when they argued it felt more serious some how. We both watched and listened, not sure what to do as Harry, not about to take Ron's words lying down, since we all knew how he cared for Ginny, cut across his long time friend.
"I was only saying – she was with the others, they were with Hagrid-"
"- yeah, I get it, you don't care! And what about the rest of my family, 'the Weasley's don't need another kid injured', did you hear that? That's what they said out there, or weren't you bothered about that part?" Ron snapped and I felt some more of my fury leave me, seeing how hurt he was but still not about to forgive the harsh and unwarranted stuff he had said to all of us. I felt like I was in over my head then, like all of this had suddenly become too much, and we were all drowning under our emotions and the weight of the task we had to complete.
Harry tried to tell Ron that he cared, but Ron wasn't having anything to do with it, however, with each word they spat at each other the boys took a threatening step towards each other, their jaws firmly set and their hands balled into fists. Hermione immediately rushed forwards to separate them, and angry though I was, I couldn't leave them to fight. So, for the same reason Harry had stopped me, because I would regret it in the morning, I pulled him back while Hermione put a steadying hand on Ron's chest.
"Ron," she said forcing him backwards as Harry tried to free himself from my grip so he could get at Ron "I don't think it means anything new has happened, anything we don't know about; think Ron, Bill's already scarred, plenty of people must have seen that George has lost an ear by now, and you're supposed to be on your deathbed with spattergroit, I'm sure that's all he meant-"
"Oh you're sure, are you? Right then, well, I won't bother myself about them." He chided her harshly and I turned to look at him.
"She's probably right you know," I said in my friends defence "Cresswell won't have meant anything by it."
"Well aren't you the voice of reason?" Ron snapped his hard gaze finding mine and causing me to force myself calm, because I could feel self righteous anger filing me up again and I knew deep down that all of it wasn't because of Ron. I had to stop myself from taking out all my rage on him. "Or else, could it be the great Seer has actually Seen something? It'd be the first time in weeks!"
I didn't respond, I wouldn't let myself and while I fumed at his words I did my best to chock it all up to the Horcrux and told myself he didn't mean what he was saying as I fought to restrain Harry, who seemed to have had enough.
Ron continued though "It's all right for you three, isn't it, with your parents safely out of the way-"
"My parents are dead!" Harry roared and I almost flinched at the sound, but didn't because I was too preoccupied by the furious tears in his eyes and understanding how much Ron's words had just cut him.
"And mine could be going the same way!" Ron yelled back, unable to see the agony in his friend's expression as I could.
"Then GO!" Harry shouted having enough and, taking me by surprise, he ducked out of my restraint and started towards Ron, fear filled me as I followed after him, trying to restrain him, all previous thoughts of my own pain forgotten in the wake of how these two needed Hermione and I.
"Go back to them," Harry bellowed as he pulled his arm from my reach.
"Harry, don't," I warned but he ignored me and continued on.
"Pretend you've got over your spattergroit and Mummy'll be able to feed you up and-"
Ron made a sudden movement; as though to hit Harry or draw his wand, but Hermione was quicker and she was shouting "protego!" before either one of them could so much as blink. I was standing firmly by her side in an instant.
The boys just stood there on either side of the transparent shield, looking at each other as if truly seeing each other for the first time, and they didn't look to like what they saw, both of their gazes were narrowed and looks of twin hatred were on their faces. This wasn't good, both Hermione and I could feel it, I could tell by the way her wand hand quivered, something had changed between them, a line had been crossed.
"Leave the Horcrux," Harry said as Ron turned away with a cold expression in place, quickly took off the locket and dropped it onto an armchair as he passed it.
"What are you doing?" he asked looking at Hermione, whose expression quickly morphed to one of confusion.
"What do you mean?" she asked him, while he stood there, refusing to look at anything but her.
"Are you staying, or what?" he asked and Hermione looked torn.
"I…" she said, looking between Harry and I and Ron "yes – yes, I'm staying. Ron, we said we'd go with Harry, we said we'd help-" she said uselessly as Ron wasn't listening any more, his expression had closed up and he was walking away.
"I get it. You choose him." he said in such a stiff way but with such anguish in his voice that I knew why his question had been only for Hermione and not me, though I had insulted him greatly, and I understood the true sense of his words. It had always been obvious that Ron had feelings for Hermione, and vice versa, but that question had been a chance for Hermione to choose him, and he now felt that she preferred Harry, which was ridiculous.
"Ron, no – please – come back, come back!" she insisted as she ran forwards towards him, her way blocked by her shield, however by the time she had taken it down Ron was already heading out the tent, but that did not deter her. She chased after him, trying to stop him leaving and I quickly went to follow, however, I stopped when I saw Harry standing still were he was, expressionless.
"Aren't you coming?" I asked "we need to stop him."
"If he wants to go, let him," Harry said though his gaze didn't leave where it was staring and his voice was a croaky monotone, telling me his mind was elsewhere "you can't want him to stay, not after what he said to you?"
"That doesn't matter," I said as I blinked away the tears that were starting to form in my eyes as what this truly meant began to sink in, and surprising myself with my words. "He's our friend."
And without waiting for a response or saying anything more I jogged out of the tent, my hair blowing back off my face as I met with a wall of cold night air, quickly glancing around I looked for Hermione. Spotting her beyond the bubble of enchantments I hurried forwards, alarmed when I couldn't see Ron anywhere and only just noticing that it was raining heavily when the fat droplets crashed down against my head, plastering my hair down and clearing my mind. Yes Ron had crossed the line, I thought as I ran to my friend who was just standing there in the rain, yes he had said things that hurt me greatly, but he had only been doing it because he was frightened, angry and felt lonely out here. Besides, I'd said just as terrible things to him as he had to me. I reached Hermione, my feet slapping loudly against the muddy ground as I came to a stop, realising as I did that I was too late, that he had already gone. Just as I had realised what was a great deal for me, because I wasn't one to forgive those who hurt me.
"He's gone," she said simply, her voice so quiet and agonised that I felt my heart break for her.
Saying nothing I reached out and wrapped an arm around my distraught friend, my cold skin meeting with the damp fabric of her jumper, and giving her a reassuring squeeze, even as my own tears leaked steadily from my eyes, Ron had left us, but Hermione needed comforting the most. Wordlessly I turned her around, rubbing comforting circles in her back as she had when I had broken down, I let her cry as I guided her back into the tent and out of the freezing rain. Looking like drowned rats we returned to find Harry still exactly where we had left him, seemingly in a daze.
He snapped out of that at our arrival, took in our drenched appearances and the distinct absence of Ron and I saw his expression sadden before Hermione had even told him Ron had disapparated. That job done she stepped away from me and silently sat herself in one of the arm chairs, wrapped her arms around her legs and just sat there. I shared a silent look with Harry, who pulled the blankets from Ron's bunk and carefully wrapped them around her, as I went about the tent dimming the lights. Harry then picked up the Horcrux, wordlessly slipped it around his neck, walked over to me and gave my hand a quick squeeze, before sliding into his own bed and staring blankly upwards.
For a moment I didn't move, not sure what to do with myself I looked between my two remaining friends and saw my own sorrow echoed back at me, which was enough to make me turn away and crawl onto my own bunk, where I just lay, letting tears run freely down my cheeks. How could we let Ron go? How could he want to leave us? I thought painfully as I lay there, unable to sleep, reliving the whole sorry argument over and over in my mind, wishing I'd shown more restraint, but still furious and hurt by what Ron had said to me, as much as I missed him. What were we going to do now? I wondered as I brushed my fingers against the warm platinum of the ring around my neck, it had always been the four of us, cheesy though it may sound I had always thought the four of us could do anything, if only we were together. How could we possibly survive as a trio? It didn't seem possible. And to top all of this off unwanted thoughts kept pestering at me now, Ron's cruel words echoing in my mind and causing me to question myself, was he right about me? No, I thought firmly as I turned to lay on my side, curling up into a tight ball, my walks helped me forget things like Malfoy and cope with what was happening, but I wasn't brooding over him, Ron didn't know what he was talking about, I was over Malfoy, the only emotion I could spare for him was murderous rage. Ron was wrong, but that didn't matter now, he was gone and it didn't look like he was ever coming back, and we were stuck here without him.
Author note: not my best work, I will admit, but a fairly speedily updated chapter and progress towards the ones which will hopefully be better, like the next few, which I am looking forward to writing. Anywho, I'd love to hear what you think to this, and would also be much obliged if you would take the poll on my profile. Last chapter I asked you for actresses you thought would play a convincing Ivy, some reviewer suggestions and my own ideas are up there now, so if you'd check the links provided (bear with them) and vote, I'd appreciate it.
Anonymous Reviews: a quick but special thank you to Aoi for the long, thoughtful and very amazing review left on the last chapter. Thank you so much dear, it was amazingly inspiring, and such a compliment, this was the first fanfic you have ever commented on! Wow, I feel honoured. Haha, you're right, I don't know why I never thought to link them to that song before, but you're so right, it fits Ivy's feelings for Draco perfectly. Thank you once more for your kind words, much love.