Chapter 10:
Theodora looked around before going inside. It was already night and although the cheesing problems had been taken care of and Chaos as the new Mayor had control of the police department she still had to be cautious. Mountain towns like South Park were never completely safe especially with all the issues it had.
The sound of empty bottles clattering against the floor made her cringe as she opened the door slightly and squeezed her way inside before closing it quietly and resetting all the locks. She looked around and sighed. More empty bottles littered the floor and adorned the spare furniture they'd bothered to keep. The smell of alcohol was still evident as Mrs. Hamish lay sprawled across the couch with a blanket draped over her and a puddle of vomit on the floor.
She crept past her not even bothering to check if she were still breathing. A huge padlock kept the basement door shut and she kept the key underneath a table nearby.
Theodora flipped the lights on and locked herself in the basement so she wouldn't be disturbed. The room flooded with light from one light bulb hanging above her and a cluster of lamps in a corner.
A red cloth – a flag with an unfinished insignia – revealed a large blackboard containing messy handwritten chalk notes, pictures of obscure places around town pasted here and there, observations and key notes kept amongst more mundane notes.
Along the bottom of the board she'd written a timeline of events that were to happen if executed properly with some lines branching off to another timeline simply labelled "Plan B." The lines on the board led back to the first time line which was a crude doodle of a red-haired villainess dancing on a pile of skulls.
She picked up a piece of chalk and gave the plans an apologetic smile. "I hope you don't mind if I make some changes do you?"
XXXX
Chaos had been rejected from the Villain League again and another call ended with Burns insisting he wasn't good enough and needed to do more in order to prove himself. Chaos was becoming frustrated and she wasn't the only one becoming exasperated with Burns. She knew Fire Hazard was sick of the bucktooth old mummy from Springfield.
She was curious. Mr. Burns was so old. He didn't even look like he had skin left. She combed through The Book of Names just to see if his time was almost up.
"Seriously?" She cried out loud without realising people were home and they could probably here her. "How can his name not be in here?"
She frantically combed through the pages for the hundredth time and C. Montgomery Burns was not listed in the entire book. "GOD!"
"What's up your ass poser?" Pete stood in the doorway with a cup of coffee wondering what all the yelling was about.
"That bucktooth old mummy isn't on this list." She blurted without thinking.
"What bucktooth old mummy?" He sat on the bed and waited for an explanation.
"Mr. Burns." She shuddered when describing him. "A yellow skinned bucktooth old mummy. I thought he'd be good to die soon, but this book says he isn't."
"What is that book?" He looked interested in it when he noticed the skull that adorned the leather cover.
"Not for your eyes!" She hid the book from him. She still couldn't be certain if he'd told McDaniels about her new job yet.
"How can you have a book that Goth and not let me see it?" He went to snatch it from her and knocked hot coffee all over her bed.
"Mayor!" She shrieked loud enough for Pete to cover his ears.
"What's going on in here?" McDaniels looked annoyed and held her arms akimbo. "You better not be antagonising your cousin again Peter!"
"What?" She looked at McDaniels. She knew they were fostering her and she wasn't sure how long she'd be able to stay with them since her parents lost custody. "Cousin?" Even Pete was surprised. "You mean she's staying here?"
"The adoption was finalised this morning. This arrangement is permanent." She almost fainted when McDaniels confirmed it. "And you can call me mom."
Unsure of what else to say as she was still overwhelmed with shock she only pointed at her new cousin. "He spilled coffee on my bed."
Before she could do anything about it there was frantic knocking at the front door. "Mayor!"
"Is that Johnson?" Pete asked with shock as the panicked banging continued downstairs.
"Let me in please?!" Johnson cried desperately.
"Bob?" They met Johnson downstairs just as Barbrady answered the door.
He was dishevelled, but otherwise fine. He looked worn and distressed. "C-Chaos has our security clearance cards and the rednecks jumped me when I was going home."
"What's got into that kid?" McDaniels was horrified as she fetched him a glass of water when he asked for it. They all knew Professor Chaos had recruited the rednecks to his team of minions.
"T-the little Freedom Pals have a spy. I don't know who it is. There was something about a villain league." Johnson rambled incoherently while Barbrady struggled to take notes.
"What was that last part again?" Barbrady was still learning to write and had some trouble with spelling. While he was getting better at reading and writing he needed improvement. Barbrady was still going to night school to learn.
"The Freedom Pals are spying on Chaos?" McDaniels looked at her. They all did. She often worked with the Freedom Pals and they knew she'd know what Johnson was talking about.
"I'm spying on Chaos. I'm sorry." She finally came clean. It had bothered her for a while. She didn't know how much longer she could keep up the charade. She wanted to rest and she still felt awful about how her new mother was forced out of her office.
"You're the girl in the cat costume?" McDaniels looked stunned.
"I'm sorry; I didn't know what to do. How am I supposed to be a spy and not blow my cover?!" She panicked. "I didn't think he'd actually do anything this drastic."
"Katherine?" Everyone was staring at her. She was stressed and had been for weeks. She slumped on the floor and started crying.
"Please don't send me away?" She wailed in panic.
"I'm not sending you away kid." McDaniels – to her relief – refused to. "Why didn't you say anything about being a spy?"
"I thought she'd crossed over to the dark side." Johnson added shakily. His hands trembled as he held onto a coffee mug.
"The Freedom Pals didn't say anything?" She was surprised because usually the Freedom Pals worked with the police and they often briefed both McDaniels and Barbrady on their activities in town. Her new mom looked mad.
"I'm not mad at you kid." She said to her relief. "I just wish you told me first. Is there anything else?"
She shook her head as she remained reluctant to tell her about her new job and she glowered at Pete to make sure he kept his mouth shut. "No."
"I need to talk to the Freedom Pals." McDaniels insisted. "I'm sorry Katherine. I don't want you spying anymore. You're stressed and you need rest."
XXXX
"Oh shit!" Mysterion's face paled as he responded to a text message on his phone.
"What is it dude?" They all crowded around him and wondered why Mysterion looked as though he were in trouble.
"We forgot to tell the Mayor!" Mysterion panicked as he received more messages.
"Who's texting you?" Call Girl asked curiously. She didn't understand his fear. No one did.
"It's Kitty Litter." Mysterion frantically responded to texts while trying to explain what was going on. "The Mayor knows we sent her in as a spy and we forgot to tell her."
Dread. It was so quiet he could hear a pin drop. "Dude!"
"I-it can't be that bad." Human Kite tried to reassure him, but Mysterion shut him down.
"It's McDaniels dude!" Mysterion shook Human Kite by the collar of his costume. "You know what she's like when she gets pissed off. Kitty is the same kind of scary!"
"And Kitty destroyed the school." Captain Diabetes added making Mysterion's anxiety worse.
"Not helping Captain." He was trying to calm Mysterion down, but it wasn't working.
He remembered the Mayor yelling at them after a political rival called her out for changing the word fag to mean Harley Davidson riders instead of a derogatory slur aimed at gay people. She was mighty pissed off at them and since McDaniels was caring for Kitty Litter he could only imagine her rage. "Dude, we are so dead."
XXXX
"Why didn't you guys tell her?" Kitty Litter was among them in costume as they were. The Mayor was pissed during their meeting and as punishment they had to clean the bathrooms in the park which hadn't had a decent scrub down in years. Kitty was the only person not helping with the cleanup while the former Mayor and her aides supervised from a distance.
"I totally forgot dude." Human Kite admitted as he was on his hands and knees scrubbing scunge with a toothbrush.
I admit I forgot to brief her as well. Dr. Timothy added with an embarrassed expression on his face.
"You could help us you know." Super Craig grumbled after flipping Kitty Litter off.
Kitty returned the favour flipping him off. "Not my punishment. I thought she already knew."
"You could've told her." Wonder Tweek panicked. "I thought we were all dead. Argh!"
She kicked a pebble that Captain Diabetes picked up and threw in a trash bag. "I guess I forgot."
"Do you know anything about a new cat villain?" Mysterion asked her while neglecting his cleaning duties.
"Cat villain?" She seemed surprised but didn't elaborate further.
"Is this the same one that beat the shit out of you Mysterion?" Tupperware asked giggling.
"Not funny." Mysterion grumbled at Freedom Pals who were laughing at his expense.
"Is anyone else aside from you and that Fire Hazard girl working for Chaos?" Captain Diabetes asked as he spray cleaned a toilet that was encrusted with filth.
She shook her head. "No new recruits that I know of. Who's replacing me as a spy by the way?"
At the last meeting with the mayor they all concluded that if the Freedom Pals needed to send in a spy it had to be someone else. McDaniels wouldn't allow Kitty Litter to go near City Hall anymore.
"What?" They all looked at Captain Diabetes who immediately stopped what he was doing. "You don't mean me do you?"
"You get along with Butters don't you?" He asked and the other Freedom Pals had considered Captain Diabetes to be a replacement before.
"Well yeah, but I'm a Freedom Pal. He might get suspicious if I were to suddenly switch sides." He seemed hesitant.
"It can't be Kitty Litter. It has to be someone else." Bebe – their costume designer – added. She was also being punished because she knew about sending Kitty in as a spy and didn't tell McDaniels before sending her in. She withdrew an old Barbie doll head that clogged the drain she was cleaning. "Eew!"
"W-we could send Fat Ass in." Jimmy joked even though no one especially not Kitty Litter were amused.
"Chaos won't associate with Fat Ass." Kitty shot him a death glare. She looked just like the former Mayor McDaniels when angry. She was a miniature Australian version of McDaniels and that's why most people in town were afraid of her. "We've passed too many laws designed to make him suffer."
"I do like that we get to kick his balls in without getting in trouble for it." The Shadow giggled amusing the other Freedom Pals and Kitty who'd started laughing.
"I don't see cleaning?" McDaniels stood behind Kitty Litter glaring at them. They were still being punished.
"Sorry Ma'am." Mysterion went back to scrubbing the urinals. "We're trying to find a spy replacement for Kitty."
"See that you do." McDaniels took Kitty with her so they could go shopping that afternoon. "Come on kid. We'll redecorate your room."
XXXX
"Are you sure we should even be here?" A young boy asked as the Southern Coven – South Park's local witch gang – trudged through the forest.
"Of course I am." Theodora reassured him as she leapt over a rotten log. "Do you really think I'd bring you guys along just to die or something?"
Ever since the school was destroyed – again – the Coven had to search for new meeting places since their regular meeting place the gymnasium was currently unavailable. Other options like someone's basement weren't popular options among the coven members and she had to pick a more suitable venue.
Theodora kicked a burnt branch out of the way and motioned them to follow her. She'd found a clearing that was perfect for coven activities. "Here we are. Feel free to thank me."
"Whoa! You got the Christmas critters hangout?" One of the electric witches, Blondie elbowed her way forward and looked around. "How did you get them to leave?"
Theodora shrugged. "I threw a bottle of alcohol in the fire and scared them off." In reality she had gone as her villain alter ego Fire Hazard and interrupted the start of one of their ceremonies. She used her rapidly improving abilities to turn their bonfire into a volcanic geyser burning most of the critters quite badly in the process.
"Anyway, let's get to today's activity." She tied her hair back into a ponytail and walked towards the now emptied campfire circle. She pulled the Book of Shadows out of her mane. "I figured we need to fix this place up before we can claim it as our own. This means purifying the place of negative energy that'll get in the way of our spells." She withdrew a trowel from her jacket and smiled. "So, I found a really neat and simple spell online and all it needs is…" Theodora screamed.
Flames from the bone fire licked the sky. She wasn't prepared for it hence the terrified screaming. Their eyes widened in shock as an enormous figure emerged from the flames staring down at them with big yellow eyes.
"Who dares to tread on the unholy territory of the devil himself?" Satan demanded while the witches including Theodora trembled before him.
A girl with a golden pentagram on her shirt waved at Satan. "Hey Satan."
"Oh." Satan seemed less threatening when he realised who it was. "Hey Daria." Satan dropped his terror inducing aura and the flames. Satan sat amongst them as though they were equals. "Why didn't you tell me you guys were going to come here?
"Well, someone group messaged us this morning." Daria explained as she glowered at Theodora who remained in shock. "She didn't tell us where the new location was so I couldn't confirm you ahead of time."
"Wait?" Another young witch in the back of the group yelled at Daria. "You have the devil himself on speed dial?"
Satan became sheepish and ignored the last comment. "My apologies."
"S-so you're not going to kill us?" Theodora blurted nervously.
The king of hell gave her a curious look. "Why would I do such a thing to innocent children?"
Theodora bit her lip. "Um…"
XXXX
The young witches split into groups and were planting little saplings in the ground with some members pricking their fingers and letting the blood drip on the roots before covering them with dirt.
The purification protection spell Theodora found for them was written by a green witch and basically involved planting a tree with a white ribbon around its trunk.
Satan suggested changing the spell a little which would mean their new meeting place was officially under his protection.
"Isn't this heart warming to see a new generation practice the livelihoods of their ancestors?" Satan smiled as coven members smashed the manger with heavy rocks and large sticks.
Theodora sat next to Satan and smiled nervously. "Yes definitely." Internally she panicked at the thought of sitting next to someone who could obliterate them with the snap of his fingers.
Even though she was as dangerous as he was it didn't stop her from screaming or flinching the minute Satan sneezed. "Please don't kill me!"
XXXX
"You big fat pussy!" She shrieked the minute she noticed Satan and the witch coven. The witch coven wasn't important to her, but she wanted to give Satan a piece of her mind ever since he begged her to take Cartman back after she sent him to hell.
"Oh boy!" Satan looked nervous and he should be because she also wanted to track the old Reaper down. She was sick of her new job and desperately wanted to quit. Other than Rupert she didn't know of anyone else that could take over the role of Death.
"Why did you make me bring the fat turd back here?" She demanded angrily.
Satan looked embarrassed in front of the witch coven which included Theodora who already knew about her job. "I-I already told you why." He mumbled nervously.
"Where the hell is Rupert?" She was still overtired and her coffee addiction rivalled Tweek and the Goth kids. She just wanted to sleep. "I want to quit damn it!"
Satan frowned not knowing what to say. "Aw jeez kid." He shrugged. "I haven't seen him since before you took over. He didn't even tell me he was quitting."
"Aw come on!" She shrieked with exasperation. "I hate this job. I'm a kid. Why do I have to do this?"
"Find another Netherborn." Satan suggested quickly. Theodora and her witch coven exchanged glances. They all seemed confused.
"Netherborn?" She remembered that her powers were gifted to her. Kenny had transferred some of his own abilities to her the day he needed help rescuing Karen from the Vamp kids.
"You know." Satan rolled his eyes. She was about to crack so he'd best not treat her like she was stupid. She didn't care if she made a scene. "You weren't born with the Netherborn class. There is someone in South Park who was."
She realised who he was talking about. "Son of a bitch!"