"Keep calm, keep calm…" I kept telling myself after I'd wandered the corridors aimlessly for about two hours "If you were a demented psychopath where would take the Doctor?"

I thought about that for a moment, 'my ship' seemed a decent answer except I wasn't going to search through every single docking bay containing each over fifty ships. Plus they were probably long gone.

I needed to think.

I found a sign that seemed to contain the image of some kind of plant topped with a star, that was either a garden or a pharmacy, or some other trade I was not aware existed. I followed it, which at least gave me a direction.

It turns out it was a garden after all. I found a secluded bench and sat, resting my weary feet. Space stations were big, a lot of walking was involved, too much walking.

OK, now think.

Mauve alert, that's when you last saw him. They said 'hostile ship approaching, meaning they knew what it was and deemed it necessary to send everyone for cover. Those people in the said hostile ship had then presumably then taken the TARDIS as spoils of a war that had never been fought and apparently taken equal interest in her pilot…

Now what?
I was stuck, presumably the reason we'd been let out was that the ship was well out of sight. Which meant that my only way home was very much out of reach. I could perhaps get a shuttle, but I didn't know how to pilot it, or how to pay for it… I guessed I could steal one but that would prove unwise on multiple levels…

I was stranded. Positively and utterly marooned in a place I didn't recognize or know anything about.

"Something the matter dear?" I heard a gentle voice behind me. I turned around. "You look troubled." She came and sat next to me with impossible grace in her step.

"Yeah, I'm a bit stuck." I responded to the strangely human blond woman who was currently perched next to me.

"What do you mean?" her melodious voice was very soothing, I felt I should tell her everything

"Long story…" I couldn't just tell anyone anything… Especially if they made you want to. "Who are you?"

"Miriel, Priestess of Saria. Welcome to our Gardens." She smiled. I sighed internally, why were all calm places in busy markets always religious? And why did some member always have to interfere with me? The last time a similar situation unfolded it didn't go very well for me in the long run. "Now tell me, what's got your heart so tied up in worry, starchild?"

"I'm lost, and my friend's ship is gone. I have no way to get home." I admitted. Maybe she could help me. I didn't have much of any other options…

"Why don't you take a transit?" she suggested calmly

"No way to pay, plus…" I shrugged "There are no transits to where I'm going." I didn't think there were shuttles five centuries into the past and headed to a lone planet two hundred light years away.

"Really?" her tone was skeptical

"I highly doubt it."

She nodded, smiling and accepting my seemingly ridiculous statement as true. I thanked her for that, I didn't want to have to divulge that particular bit of information with anyone… It would get very complicated very fast.

"What's your name starchild?"

"Alisha." I answered, suddenly realizing my name was basically all I had right now.

"And where are you from that is so remote that no ship can take you."

"Far away, too far." I started to feel a strange melancholy. Home was very, very far. "Further than I can probably fathom. Where is here by the way?"

"Station Deres, orbiting Fira Prime." She answered smoothly "You said your friend was gone. Do you know when he left?"

"He didn't exactly leave…" I sighed

"Oh…" she put her hand on my shoulder, understanding what I meant "I'm sorry."

"Who were they?"

"The dominion of the Chimera. Led by Eritrain Myth, pirate of the stars." She sighed "I'm sorry, but you were right. You are indeed, 'stuck'."

"Is there no way I can catch up with them?"

"That would be folly, starchild. The fleets of the Chimera know precious little of life and even that they smother to extinction."

"I figured."

"You can stay with us." She offered her hand. "The Order of Saria would be glad to count you as a member, starchild."

"I don't know…"

"You would be safe. Which is more than what you have, Starchild." Her emphasis on the pet name was greater this time

"Why do you call me that?"

"It is our belief." She explained still ever so kind "Every living being was forged in the heart of a star; we are all children of the Universe, the sons and daughters of the stars. All beings are one and the same, regardless of shape or home planet. The Universe gives us all life, and then takes it for itself before giving it again. The stars are the gateways to and from life." I nodded, it made sense. Carbon being forged in stars from hydrogen fusion, most living things being made of carbon… It made sense. "Every member is named for one of their parents." So that meant a star "Miriel is the name given to a red star in the constellation of Rensara."

As religious faiths go, this one was reasonable, especially since it was true, and the name thing was just a little quirk. I hesitated. I had nowhere to go, yet people don't just join religious orders because they're lost. Actually no they do. That's exactly why you join an order. Because you can't go anywhere else.

"Let us teach you. I promise, no harm will ever come to you while you are with us." She offered her hand again. "Come." I could see the 'recruiting desk' face on her, the marketing was obvious. But it was somewhere to go. I wasn't as if I was going to see the Doctor anytime soon, or ever again.

I took her hand. She smiled "Follow me starchild." She got up and turned towards the back of the garden.

"Hold a minute there." A bulky form stepped out from behind a tree. "You don't mind if I object?"

"Be gone, she is of Saria now." Miriel said forcefully

"Don't take me for an idiot missy." His Australian accent was very pronounced "She hasn't done the naming ceremony. Yes, I know how you Star Gazers work, it's not that hard to remember from last time." An offended look from Miriel "Come now darlin', hand her over and no one will get hurt."

"Why should I, beast of chimera?"

"Oh I like that name! So much more color!" he commented "Because she's interesting you and therefore interests me master which interests me. Now hand her over." He extended a gloved hand "No bloodshed, I know you care about that very dearly."

"I will not betray my own."

"Your own!" he scoffed "You've just recruited her! No one needs to know, and I give you my word I will not tarnish your starry honor by breathing a single line of this to your superiors."

"No."

He sighed "You asked for it." he drew his gun. Miriel stepped in front of me.

"Chimera, it is best to let sleeping dogs lie." She said, a new fierceness in her voice.

"Yes but she isn't a dog and neither are you. But sure as hell will shoot you like one." The revolver clicked as he cocked it.

"You do not know what you are dealing with."

"No I don't, which is why I'm taking her to Myth." I saw his finger twitch as he started to squeeze the trigger, he hesitated half a second. That gave me time.

"Stop!" I shouted, pushing past Miriel "Take me, but don't hurt her."

"Starchild, no." she grabbed my arm, her grip was loose but strong.

"My name's still Alisha." I said a little coldly. "I'm sorry Miriel, but I don't want you get hurt. Not for the sake of a sisterhood I didn't sign." She smiled sadly, but gave in, letting go of me.

"Very well Sirius." A new name. I knew Sirius was a star, bright and shining in the night sky back home. "I will not forget you, not for your faith or for your loyalty to a sister you didn't sign for." I'd been let in, semi-officially. Name and all.

"Very nice starlight." The Aussie cut in. "Off we go 'starchild'" he grabbed my arm, his grip almost cut off the circulation.

"If I never see you again, beast of chimera, it would be too soon." Miriel was resolute but knew she couldn't do anything.

"The same to you starlight." He sat. I saw him press a button on his shoulder.

The feeling that followed was most uncomfortable, like being dumped in a pool of ice cubes and once in there being stuck full of needles. Thankfully it only lasted a short while. I found myself staring at a wall in a well-lit corridor of what I assumed to be the starship that had sent everyone scurrying underground earlier.

"Welcome on the Trophy, now move." He gruffly shoved me forward, still holding my arm in his grip.

We walked a corridor, as we neared the end of it I heard a voice, loud and arrogant.

"Imagine that!" I heard it say, I couldn't tell whether it was male or female. "I thought I was lucky to just stumble across a TARDIS in a mall station's docking bay. But imagine my surprise when I find the Time Lord that goes with it! Which is quite a feat considering Gallifrey's current state of… existence." Looks like I'd found the Doctor after all. Although I wondered what the voice was referring to when they said 'state of existence'. "You two are going to be the crown jewels of my collection."

"Collection of what, Myth." Yep, definitely the Doctor.

"Of things, I fancy myself to be a bit of an intergalactic collector." The voice mused "Might conquer a planet with it… Might not… Depends if it's interesting really. Although a planet might be a bit bulky don't you think? An asteroid would be much easier, but they're just lumps of space rock, nothing special in there."

"Master Myth?" My captor called into the room from the corridor.

"Yes Mike?" 'Mike' pushed me into the doorframe with his own bulk "Oh splendid! I knew it was a good idea!" I shot a glance to the Doctor, we made eye contact. He was rather uncomfortably seated on a kind of dais. Not unlike a pedestal in a museum, at this point he just looked inconvenienced and bored. I didn't see the TARDIS in there with him.

"Tell me Mike." The tall blond… person, bent over to look me over "What is she then?"

"Star Gazer was interested and very intent on keeping her." He said, keeping his gaze level, not looking at Myth "Thought if they wanted her that badly there must be some interest."

"Yes, indeed" Myth ran a finger along my jaw, pushing my head into a tilt. It was uncomfortable. "Take her to an empty spot, I'll be there shortly."

Mike whisked me off and in a blur of motion I was sat in a chair in a very empty room. It was not very big, enough for me and space for three people to walk abreast around a cordoned off circular area around me. This felt a lot like a museum. I didn't like it. And I instantly was bored.

I'd never stopped to think about how the exhibits might feel… Already that museums were boring as it was… Not being able to do much moving didn't help.

They could at least give me a book. Or two. Or three.

As promised Myth came in. It still bothered me a tad that I couldn't out they're gender. Short blond hair, tall stature, basic humanoid appearance really except for the light reddish markings on the temples. A graceful and light gait, thin face, soft blue green eyes… I settled on using 'they' to avoid confusion later on.

"I fail to see what had Miriel so interested in you…" they said flatly "Usually she has rather good taste, but this time…" they grimaced their incomprehension.

"I don't appreciate being insulted to my face." I muttered

"Oh..." They laughed "Sharp one aren't you?"

"Possibly." Was not happy. Not at all. This chair was highly uncomfortable.

"Huh…" they walked around me, as if looking over a work of art, looking to buy "No… I still don't see it."

"See what?" I asked sarcastically. I allowed myself to be a little insulting. It was a release and usually collectors don't tend to break their well… collector's items.

"What makes you worth your own space." They sauntered to the door "Excuse me while I fetch a scanner."

"Bring a cushion while you're at it." I said as they left me alone again.

This situation was just irritating. It wasn't dangerous, or painful in the torture sense, it was just boring. It wasn't like they were going to kill us, they were just… keeping us. Like rocks in a curio cabinet or books on a shelf.

At least if I could do anything else but sit…

"Here we go." Myth wheeled in a cart "Miriel had to have some reason to want you… Let's find out what it was."

"You know Miriel?"

"The Star Gazers have very good taste in recruits, and Miriel is possible the best in picking the interesting ones. I let Mike sit tight with her every time we make a pass at Deres." They punched a few buttons. I was frankly amazed they were talking, probably because they knew I couldn't do anything about it. "She used to be his wife you know? Before he joined me. After that she became Miriel. Now let's see." They stared at the screen. "Human, 23… Boring." They scowled "Ah, Dextrocardiac! Unusual… But not enough, I mean I've got a binary next door." I didn't understand what that last sentence meant. Not a clue. "I really don't see what's so special." They took another look at me. Then seemed to notice something. He walked over, curious, stepping over the cordon.

"Now what… Is this?" he plucked the translator form behind my ear. Right. I'd forgotten that was there.

He formed a few slippery words in his mother tongue, fiddling with the little earpiece. He looked to me and asked a question.

"Translator." I said. I assumed that was the question. He nodded. Apparently he could understand me just fine. Another question, one word.

"Automatics don't work." Another nod, this time with more interest.

They said something else as they walked to the scanner. This time I felt the tingle as the beam passed through me. He'd done a deeper scan.

An exclamation, a press of a button, the tingling again. A puzzled stare. A resolved set of four words.

A jolt. A genuinely starstruck expression on Myth's face. They looked at me, stated a few lightly angered watery words. I shrugged as best I could in my strapped in position. They grimaced evidently frustrated. Two words repeated. Seven words, ominous. I didn't like them. Myth strode out, muttering to themselves, evidently very irritated and flustered.

I didn't like the white clad figures that walked in either. I was efficiently untied and carted off through the corridors.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, fearful. No response. I struggled, trying to get me arms free. They held me tight, I tried to stop. That didn't work either, my feet just slipped on the smooth metal.

They dragged me into a room, white walls, screens everywhere, bright lights, and a most threatening chair in the middle. This did not bode well.

They wrestled me out of my clothes and into a thin onesie-type thing with an open front, then pushed me into the chair. I fought, but they were strong. More straps, I struggled and screamed for them to let me go. But they ignored me. I stared ahead in complete and utter fear as I heard the figure bustle about me, doing thing I could not see. Please no. No.

I couldn't move, at all, while before I'd been tied, now I was immobilized. I shivered as they passed something that felt wet against my arm. A pinprick.

The cold swept through me an soon after I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't understand much of anything to be honest. Why was I cold? Why couldn't I move?

I felt a trickle of warmth creeping down my side, soaking delicately in the gossamer thin fabric. I didn't comprehend were it came from. A fiery lance of pain stabbed me in the chest, I tried to scream but a gargled and slurred whine came out instead. The neat line of sharp fire descended down my body, slowly, carefully, painfully. Then it stopped, allowing me a small moment of reprieve. I stared wide-eyed and afraid at the masked beings before me, one holding a metal object of some kind. Small, snake like, with a little glimmering thing on the end that reflected the light into my eyes.

The fire came back, I screamed, properly this time. The scream was choked out of existence as the thing that'd just entered me rested on my lungs, coiled around my vocal cords, wrapping my very mind in endorphin. I floated, entranced in the pain. Then pain died. Everything did. Something wormed its way around in my gut, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything. I existed, disembodied, barely connected to myself, floating, slightly above, watching from a distance.

Now!

I fell, back into my own body, surprised by the barked order to myself. The fire returned full force, searing my mind. I howled.

Fire, screaming children, the dying cries of someone I knew.

I stared stupidly in front of me, not making sense of the blinding images my eyes provided.

An explosion, a crumbling tower, the enemy chanting victory.

Make it stop. Please. Make it stop. Not again, please, please not again. I can't take it. Not again, not again.

Again?

Let me out! Let me out! Out! Now!

I struggled against my bonds, rage mingling with fear linking with pain, all in a ghastly cocktail of hormones and confusion.

I need to get out! Let me go!

The two masked figures stood in front of me, all movement stopped. They stared. I glowered at them. I pleaded them. I threatened them with fire. I begged for my life. I tensed against the back of the chair, I strained my leash. The straps held me fast, I gave up. I redoubled my efforts. I was tired. My energy surged, anger filled my veins, banishing the snake of pain, burning the venom in my heart.

The anger, the pain, the heat of my blood against my skin, the raging fire in the pit, the blizzard wrecking a long deserted wasteland, the dog growling in its cage. It all came back, I let it out, pure unadulterated fury bursting out of my chest like a pouncing tiger. This scream wasn't one of pain, it was wild, angered. A howl to rally the pack, a call to kin that didn't exist. I'd lost them… All of them. I'd lost so much…

Had I? When?

The people I loved where gone, the only family I had was dead.

No it wasn't…

My home was gone, there was nothing now. Only fire. So let there be fire! Let there be a blazing hurricane of icy rage, let the stormy heart of a supernova descend on these puny beings! Oh those two dare defy me! How irrational of them…

The fire raged across my soul, the blizzard wrecked the landscape, the mastiff laid waste to the tame little village of paper and gilded leather.

No…

How dare they!? I was a force of nature! The Universe was mine to rule and create and destroy! Time itself obeyed my command! How dare these primitive little men take arms on me!? They should be cowering in fear at the sight of me! They should be running for their lives!

I'm scared. Who am I?

I wrenched my body out of my bonds in a fit of rage, eyes blazing, telling tales of fire and ash and cities turned to dust. They looked surprised, as well they should be. The two of them didn't last a minute.

What've I done?

I rose up to my full height, proud, as well I should be. Billions of years of heritage and creation behind me; epic legends of triumph, loss and war. I was never meant to be tied to a chair. I strode of the door, shattering the glass encasing the gun hanging on the wall in a single movement. It was probably for emergencies, well now they had one. Me. The alarm blared the corridor flashed with the universal mauve of danger. A pair of sentries came rushing towards me, gun at the ready. I raised mine, cool, composed. I looked them in the eyes before taking charge if their fates.

My strides were as great as my desire for revenge. I marched to the beat of a drum. I would avenge my own, I would take revenge on those that had taken away what I loved most. They would pay with their blood the blood of my kin.

I walked into another room, four guards. Four discharges, four bodies. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. There was nothing but a box in this room. It was very blue, and had a curious language written on it. I let myself be distracted for a second by the dimly familiar linear symbols. All in a line, how odd. Footsteps resounded behind me I whirled on my heels, locking on and firing at will. He fell before even sighting me.

Suddenly something caught my notice, on the wind. The tang of metal and a lavender-filled summer wind heavy with rain. Foretelling of storms to come, foretelling of lightning strikes and gale force winds. I followed it down the corridor. Three more guards. I ducked into the room.

Then I saw him. This was not one of mine. He was kin yet not kin.

But I know him!

I growled under my breath at my inability to place him. He was not mine. He stared back at me, superior, powerful. Then I knew. I lowered my gaze, respectful, submissive.

"My lord." I acknowledged his rank. I noticed my own native tongue tripping uneasily over my lips, out of practice.

"Excuse me?" he sounded puzzled, his accent didn't fit. "Alisha? What are you saying?" The name was wrong. Close but not mine. His eyes told me of my own insanity. Or presumed insanity. I heard a call on the com, it called for reinforcements. Something moved in the corner. Not thinking I shot. A small whimper. I had missed my mark.

"Alisha!" he shouted, surprised, outraged, not understanding. His shielding was awful. "That was not necessary!"

"We'll discuss ethics later, my lord." I glanced behind me to the corridor. The marching footfalls of oncoming guards were getting closer. I made a quick judgment call of what to do. "But right now my priority is your safety, sir." I positioned myself by the door jamb, ready to fire. "I presume you have a way of getting us off?" I had no intention or desire of staying on this bucket of bolts any longer than I had to.

"Yes…" he seemed to not comprehend something about me. We'd deal with that later. "It's in the other room…" he stood there. I stared at him expectantly. Twenty seconds, thirty… I glanced to the corridor, the guards were coming close, I raised my gun at the ready. I fired a shot, one down. Two, three. All of them.

"My lord, I suggest we hurry." I checked the charge, orange, almost out. "I cannot guarantee your safe return if we don't leave before I run out of charge."

"Right." He was a bit slow. I fleetingly wondered how he'd ever graduated.

He went to the corridor, the coast was clear. I kept on my toes beside him, checking forwards and behind.

We came into the room with the box. Apparently, that was his ship. I kept my eyes on the door. He walked up to it producing a key, the door squeaked. I backed into it, the doors closed. The room jolted as we took off.

"Now are you going to tell me what is going on?" his voice was harsh.

I looked to him. "I don't understand your meaning sir."

"You understand perfectly well Alisha." He glowered "Since when are you so intent, and skilled, at shooting people?" outrage, well controlled.

"Since I was trained to do so." He raised an eyebrow "And my name is not Alisha." I dared correct him.

"Then what is it then?" Now he was impatient, curious, angered. Rassilon, someone should teach him how to shield better! This was indecent!

"Illishaicaraanseon." I stated. I'd bother with rank when he asked for it. Always answer the question you are asked and only the question you are asked. Any additional information is irrelevant.

He paused and made a point of getting my attention. I met his gaze. He checked, I smirked internally. "You're a Time Lord." he breathed, the odd accent was gone. I frowned, sceptical.

"No sir." I was amused by his mistake. He wordlessly asked for an elaboration on my statement. "Chancellory Guard Lieutenant Illishaicaraanseon of the Sixth Tarali Patrol, sir." I gave a brief salute.

"Don't do that." He said, almost reflexively. "You're part of the Watch?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay…" The term was entirely alien to me and that funny accent of his was back, I'd no idea what it meant "Now what've you done with Alisha?"

"Missing presumed dead, sir." I answered a little cynically.

"I'm warning you, Lieutenant." He wasn't amused.

"I don't know." I admitted. I assumed 'Alisha' was the name of the other mind they'd shoved in place of mine. "As stated before, missing presumed dead."

"You killed her?" the sentence was more of a statement than a question, but he was giving me the option to defend myself.

"To be quite honest sir, I'm glad to be back in my own body." He didn't know how to answer that… His lack of proper shielding irritated me. He paused, three seconds, five.

"How old are you?" he asked, seemingly off topic. I knew better than to assume that.

"One hundred and forty three, sir" He grimaced.

"You're a kid…" evidently he was thinking of rather tedious and unpleasant scenarios involving explaining.

"Do not let my youth fool you, sir" I countered "Being Prydonian, you of all people should know appearances are deceiving."

"How did you know I was Prydonian?"

"To be quite honest, sir, it's the way you walk and talk like you own the place."

"I do own the place." Again he wasn't amused, actually a little insulted.

"I know, sir" I answered "But if you didn't understand what I meant by that, then you wouldn't."

He understood that and frowned, slightly insulted. "Did your superiors like you?"

"No, sir." I was confused by his use of the past tense but didn't point it out.

"I can see why…" he mused. "Anyway, I don't know if you've noticed that cut in your chest…"

I looked down and noticed the deep scar leaking blood. I touched a sticky red trail running down my abdomen "Indeed not, sir." I said while staring blankly at the smear of haemoglobin on my fingers.

"Let me fix that." He beckoned me over into a corridor.

He led me to the medical bay, where he promptly pulled out a tissue reparator from a drawer. He came over, I expected him to hand me the device and let me bother with my own injury myself, but he didn't. Instead going in for a full medical exam, coincidently leaving the cut open. I was puzzled by his concern, this was very unlike the Time Lords I'd met before, unwilling to get their hands dirty, literally or figuratively.

"One heart?" he asked as he wandered his stethoscope over my back. His tone was mildly surprised.

"First time around." I answered awkwardly, seemingly to his satisfaction.

"On the right?"

"Mistakes happen." Did he have to bring it up? I got teased by my squadron enough as it was, I didn't need it from him either.

Apparently the rest of my physical health didn't seem to illicit much alarm or concern or much of anything. He then bent over to examine the cut edged in rapidly coagulating blood.

"Oh…" he pulled a pair of glass out of seemingly nowhere and shoved them on his nose. "Wait a minute, this might hurt."

A pair of surgical gloves and a pair of tweezers later, he'd extracted a small metallic device from the wound. He had been right about it hurting. After making sure the cut was properly closed with little chance of reopening, he went off to examine the little slender thing. And I was left sitting on the examination bench. I watched him potter on with it, half talking to me, half talking to himself, muttering something about "last time" and "ending up half human", whatever that meant.

"Sir?" A mumble, he was listening. "Am I free to go?"

"Yes." I straightened and turned around. "You might want to get into something decent actually…" I nodded as he talked "The wardrobe is down the corridor, two lefts, a right, past the stairs, then left again." He illustrated the directions with his hands, a magnifying glass still in his right.

"Thank you, sir." I trotted off at the unofficial dismissal. If he didn't want me in his face, that was fine with me. At least he was out of mine.

I followed the directions down the organic themed corridors. I'd never liked the Time Lords, lazy senators, so much power and they just sat on it doing absolutely nothing. Even when the War started, they'd just sat, letting us Watchmen just die in the distance. All they did was issue useless orders, move us around like cups on a table, have us goat roping just for the sake of giving orders; just they could feel they weren't utterly useless. I spotted the stairs. I remembered when I was a child, dreaming of travelling in a TARDIS. I knew I'd never make it, I wasn't born in the right House, and my biodata wasn't deemed fit for the Academy either. The only option I had was the Watch. And a good option is was. I reached them and turned left. Before me was an exceedingly large room. I let my eyes wander around the forest of hanging cloth.

This was going to take a while.

I walked back into the console room, now feeling, admittedly, a lot more decent in uniform. It'd taken me a while to find one. Not that I'd expecting a junior grade Watch Lieutenant's uniform to be the first thing when you walk in. But I didn't expect it to be all the way in the furthest corner either.

"My lord?" I called, not seeing him. I was perfectly happy just standing there. But I didn't want to seem too keen to avoid him. That'd ended badly last time.

"Down here." Came a voice from below the decking. I slowly walked around the console and peered into the gap beneath an open section of the floor. He was fiddling with a junction circuit, and not succeeding from the looks of it.

"May I ask what you are doing, sir?" I was curious, and it seemed he somewhat tolerated my lack of proper respect. So I took advantage of it.

"Fixing the power." He mumbled, screwdriver between his teeth as he tried to untangle a section of wire from another. "Wouldn't want to drop out of the Vortex now would we?"

"I wouldn't know, sir." I didn't really know what the Vortex was and what falling out of it entailed. "But why are you doing it yourself, sir? Don't most Time ships have self-repair?"

"Not mine." He responded, distracted by a knot. "Type-40."

I eyes widened at the mention the antiquated model. "Type-40, sir?"

"Yes, problem?"

"No. None at all." I hid my fear of crashing from my voice. I might not know must about temporal mechanics but I knew this much: This was a museum piece, not a functional ship!

"Good." He managed to release one of the wires.

I watched him work a bit longer, then got bored "May I ask when we'll be headed home sir?" I asked "It's not that I don't enjoy your company, but I have a duty to uphold."

He stopped in his tracks, he didn't know what to do, a lie was forming in his mind but he shook it clear. I shook my head free of his badly shielded mind.

"That will not be possible." He said, sadness in his voice as he clambered up onto the main decking.

"Why not?" He hesitated "Why not, my lord?" I urged.

"We lost, everyone lost." It pained him to say it, I didn't want to believe what he was insinuating.

"No." I breathed "No, don't tell me that..."

"Gallifrey's gone Lieutenant." I didn't believe it, I couldn't , it couldn't be… "There is no one left… Just us."

I stood there shocked into paralysis. "You're lying." I spat "It can't be gone." I shook my head, not wanting to believe it. "It can't be!"

"I'm sorry Illishai…" he stared into a shiny bit of console. "I had to." He whispered

"YOU had to?!" I picked up on the throwaway sentence immediately. "What do you mean YOU had to?!"

"It couldn't go on any longer." His voice was quiet "It was the only solution."

"It couldn't have been!" I growled "How could you?" I couldn't contain myself. "How could you destroy your own people, destroy your own home! A home that I, amongst many, have fought so hard to protect! Spilt our blood to defend!" He looked down. My anger swelled. "And you come along and end it all. I assume it was for the good of the Universe? It was wasn't it? It's always for the good of the fucking Universe with you Timeys, every time. Never mind us soldiers, dying out in the field to protect you, your asses sat on your cosy chairs in the Panopticon. Oh no!" I glared at him "But you've done the impossible, you murderer, committed genocide against your own fucking people! How do you live with yourself…"

"I had no other choice!" he yelled

"And you tell yourself that!" I shouted back.

"You weren't there!"

"I was! I was there, I saw them. I watched them destroy Tarali, turn it to dust, I watched them kill my lover! I held her in my arms as she died!" I held back my tears at her screams echoed in my memory.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry!" I barked "Sorry, that's all you can fucking say?! Sorry for what? Sorry that I lost my heart to the Daleks? Sorry that they destroyed my home, or that you did?" That finished him, delivered the killing blow.

He stayed silent. If looks could kill, he'd be dead by now. I turned away. Storming off into a corridor, he couldn't see me cry. That murderer could not see me cry. I pushed open a random door, set above a few steps. Tears blurred my vision as isolated myself in a corner of the dark room.

I sobbed, falling to the floor. Gone. Everything was gone. I had no purpose now, thanks to him. Oh how I hated him now. I had hated the Time Lords since before I enlisted, now there was only one and I hated him more than I had their entire class.

How could he?

How?

How could he have destroyed Gallifrey? How was he still alive? Did he really not give a shit? Was his own home world just a blank name to him?
It couldn't be.

Another wave of tears assaulted me as I visualized things as they were. I wanted to see things as they were, before. I remembered that day, the first day, the one I pledged I'd always remember. Exona and I, by the lake, still in training. Such a long time ago. Her lips on mine, the sweet scent of lilies and buttermilk as I held her tight.

That was all gone. The lake, the grounds, the city… Everything. Even the sky.

I had nothing. I was loyal to something that didn't exist anymore. I had failed. I had broken my oath, I didn't not protect Gallifrey, it had perished, betrayed by the hands of her own child.

Why hadn't I been there?

Because someone decided I was unfit. Because some bone-assed Brass said the Chameleon Arch needed a new model, because some dipshit came up with a new one. Then another desk flyer decided I was good experiment fodder, because I was 'emotionally unfit' for duty.

It was their fault, Dalek scum, for killing Exona, for killing me.

Then I came back.

I wished I hadn't.

I wished I could go back, behind the so called Alisha, put her back and kill myself. Smothered in my own mind.

But I couldn't. The barrier had been open and I'd rushed through. She was gone, the handy disguise. I'd cast her out into the flames.

Now all that was left was the cold. The cold of space as I imagined a cloud of dust where a golden planet should've stood. Mine, that was where I was from. It used to mean something.

Now there was nothing but a name. Just like me.

The watch meant nothing anymore, I was a Lieutenant, but a Lieutenant of what? No one knew the Chancellory Guard, even when we still existed no one took much notice of us.

I was only Illishai. Alone. Half my name irrelevant, the House of Icara destroyed along with everything else.

The tears subsided, having drained the dam of all water. I still sobbed, lying curled up on the cold stone tiled floor. What else could I do? I had nothing to fight for, and that was what I did. I fought. I fought to protect and defend. I swore to it.

Now that oath had slipped away. Leaving nothing but a void in its place.

One hour, two. I didn't move, and no sound disturbed the place. I sat up, my ribs complaining from the hard floor.

I had nowhere to go.

I wondered if I could find some aspirin somewhere.

Probably not here.

But if I could get dropped off, pretend I was alright…

The door squeaked as it was opened. "Illishai?" he called. I did not respond. I didn't want to. Traitor.

"Illishai, please." His footsteps echoed in the high-vaulted room. Murderer.

Silence.

"I'm not going to ask you to forgive me, I know you won't." He said, damned right I wasn't. "I'm not going to ask you to stay either." Like that was ever going to happen "But let me at least show you something." I didn't move.

"Illishai please, it's important." Grudgingly I got up and stood tall in front of him.

"What is it you so want to show me, My Lord." I spat out his title, like the insult it was.

"This way." He seemed to ignore my slander, but his mind said otherwise. Good.

He led me to another corner of the library, where a little alcove stood. It the alcove was a lectern, on the lectern was a large gilded book entitled "The Last Great Time War".

"Little trophy I see." He was hurt. Perfect.

"Open it." he stepped backwards "You'll understand."

I glared at him, standing tall as I walked past him to lift the cover.

The first page was a warning. I opened to the middle of the book, not wanting to read what I'd lived through already. Once was enough.

I stared horrified at the pictures, the words poured like tar over the page. The deeds like poison to my soul. The schematics for the worst things in the Unverse.

The Nightmare Child, a tremendous devourer with a gaping mouth with metal fangs dripping blood and fuel alike. Horrible to behold, a curse, I turned the page.

The Horde of Travesties. Travesties of Time itself! Deformed, savage, eyes rolling and bloodshot, faces scarred, limbs twisted and marred. I flicked to the next page, hoping for some miracle.

The Could-Have been King, his very existence wrong, his eyes staring vacantly out of the page into my own mind, screaming a terrible shriek right inside my head. My blood curdled.

The army of Meanwhiles and Never-Weres, ghosts of things that would've happened, the spectre of things that could've been, personified, given form for the sole purpose of destroying themselves and others with them.

I slammed the book shut. Stepping back in shock.

"What is this?" I gasped, ready to hurl another bout of fear-filled rage at the man who'd undoubtly caused all this.

"The Last Days. This is what that War created." He said, giving the tome a nasty stare "That is what I ended."

I understood "They- They made those?" The horrendous descriptions flashed in my mind, clashing with the beauty of the people I remembered. Clashing with me.

And him.

"Yes. And used them. Every single weapon of mass destruction was spent, so they made new ones." His pain was apparent. "The worst decisions were made, you must know, you followed the orders."

"I wasn't there." My speech faltered "Not for this." Not for that. Never for that. I would've died, several times. "I-I saw Tarali fall. Then…" I swallowed, not finishing my sentence.

"You saw the beginning, Illishai." He came closer. "This…" he gestured with contempt to the gilded volume "Is what came of it."

I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I was stuck between a traitor and a murderer and the horrors my own people had created to destroy an enemy at the expense of Life itself. My ethics were screaming, both evils were on equal footing, one caused by the other. Stuck between murder and genocide. Stuck between corruption and immorality…

I didn't know who to follow.

I whimpered as I buried my face in my hands.

"Illishai?"

"What do I do?" I wailed "I don't know what to do! Someone give me orders." I needed to follow something, give me orders, don't make me decide, I couldn't. Tell me what to do! What to think!

He smiled sadly "How about we start over?" I looked at him, not understanding. He extended his hand "Hello, I'm the Doctor." My eyes widened at his name. Of all the people to survive…

"Hello Doctor, I'm Illishai." I shook his hand, still a bit dumbfounded. Of all people, the Doctor. Of course, it could only have been him.

No other Time Lord would've dared to have enough guts to stop a war, not the way he had. No other Time Lord would've gotten off his chair to do it.

Of course this one had never sat on a chair to start with.

He seemed to notice some of what was going on in my head "Come." I tilted his head towards the door. "There is something else." I followed him.

I watched him input a set of coordinates I didn't recognize: 73-1-38-13:12. I wondered where that was. He fined tuned the coordinates.

I watched him fly, as best he could on his own. I wanted to help but I wasn't of much use. Only ranked officers and Time Academy graduates got to fly. I was never taught.

We landed, he leaned on the console. "Go on." He indicated the doors.

I walked over to them, what was this place? Where had he taken us?

Curious and a little apprehensive I opened on of them.

And stared.

Stared at the people walking past me, flooding like a river on the busy strip of concrete.

And they looked exactly like me. Well not exactly, but there they were.

They weren't Gallifeyan. But so, so similar.

"Welcome to Sol 3." The Doctor had donned a long brown coat. "Also known as Earth."

I looked up at the sky, I stared into the expanse of blue watching white fluffy clouds go by half hidden by a tall building made of glass and steel.

I stepped out, looking around. I'd never been off world. I breathed in the air, saturated in pollutants; carbon monoxide, nitrogen dioxide,… a breeze blew past, bringing the sharp smell of ozone and humidity from a river.

The flood of people stopped, engines roared and purred. I watched as the explosive combustion engines drove the archaic transport down the road in a cloud of gas. I tried to make sense of the colourful signs that covered the walls around us to no avail.

"What do you think?" he asked, standing beside me as I watched everything unfold around me.

"It's beautiful…" I glanced to a line of people waiting on the other side of a set of white stripes painted on the ground. "But I don't understand… They're…" I struggled for words.

"They're human." He watched them cross the white stripes when a light showed a little green figure. He looked so proud of them, I wondered why. "And they're brilliant." They walked in front of us, walking around the box, around the two of us. "Absolutely brilliant."

"This has become my second home." He said "I can show you around if you want."

"I-" I hesitated. But the prospect of adventure was too great. I was this, travelling with him despite his actions, or wallowing in my own misery till the end of my days. I'd much rather this, maybe I could learn to accept him. "Yes." I blurted out. He beamed. "Yes." I repeated, the simple word heralding a new start into another life. This would be unlike anything I'd ever experienced, and I couldn't wait to start.