Chapter 10: Going Home
Summary: Everyone knows what the marauders do to Severus after the exam. This is what comes next.
Severus sat with his housemates at the Hogwarts express. He was hunched over near the window looking into space. They glanced over at him every once in a while but otherwise left him alone. Severus hadn't left the dorm the whole week after the exams, too humiliated to face anyone. None of his housemates had said anything to his face, but he could say they were still talking about it and laughing at him. It wasn't every day that someone was stripped naked hanging upside down in the courtyard. At least it had happened after their last exam.
After he had missed dinner and then breakfast the next day, Regulus had started bringing him his meals. He never said anything or stayed around, he just put the food on his bedside table and left. They weren't really friends. Regulus had tried to talk to him when he had first came to school, but Severus had ignored him. The boy looked too much like his brother for comfort.
Severus sighed. He had not been expecting the attack from the marauders. Potter and his friends had laid off of him for a while, with Potter being injured and Black having detention most of the time. Severus had been really happy that day. His exams had all gone great, even transfiguration. Just before the exam, Professor Taylor had told him that his paper on werewolves had not only been accepted, but it would also get published. Severus had been over the moon, he was finally getting some recognition and his hard work was paying off. He had felt his hopes for his future turning to reality. But all his joy had turned to ashes.
It didn't matter what he did or how hard he worked. He would always be the laughing stock in this school. He couldn't believe how naive he had been, thinking everything would work out.
And now he had to go home knowing his mother wouldn't be there. She had stopped writing to him a few weeks after the school year had started and she hadn't been there when he went home for Christmas. His father only said that she had left. The last time Severus had seen his mother she had been really sick. He didn't know if she was even alive or not. Tears started running down his face and he made no effort to stop them.
...
Sirius got into the Slytherins' compartment behind Avery. He was wearing James' invisibility cloak and was on a mission to drop a dungbomb in there. The marauders were making up for lost time. They had fallen behind their studies with everything else going on and had to hold off their mischief until the end of the OWLs. Sirius grinned and took a look around the compartment. The grin fell off of his face however when he saw Snape.
The boy was sitting in the corner hugging his knees to his chest. He was pressing his face to the window and looking at the wall. For once his greasy hair was out of his face and Sirius could see tears shining on his cheeks. The sight took him by surprise. Severus Snape did not cry. Sirius hadn't once seen him cry in the five years they knew each other. He hadn't cried when James broke his nose in second year or when he had burned his hand in potions fourth year. Snape never showed weakness. He fought and cursed and gave as good as he got. The boy he was looking at now was shaking all over and rocking himself back and forth.
Was this because of what they did? Was this the reason he hadn't come out of his dorm since then? He remembered how gleeful they had all been about it. The marauders had wanted to have another go at him, but whenever they checked the map Snape's dot had been in the dungeons. They had congratulate themselves for scaring off the git and laughed at his cowardice.
Sirius dropped his eyes. It had been a joke. They had just gotten through their history of magic exam and wanted to have some fun. It hadn't been just them either. It was the last day of exam and everyone was bored. They had all laughed and cheered them on. Even Lily had stood with her friends and watched, looking triumphant. This had gotten James more excited. They had all left for dinner afterwards. Sirius could remember Snape hurriedly crawling about reaching for his clothes like a blind man and dressing himself clumsily with shaking hands. It had seemed so funny to him at the time, but now the memory filled him with shame.
Sirius left the compartment. He decided to release the dungbomb in the bathroom.
...
The next morning Severus sat in the kitchen with his father. They haven't talked at all last night. As soon as he had arrived, Severus has gone to his room and his father hadn't sought him out. He usually spent the holidays either hanging out with Lily and helping his mother or studying in his room. Sometimes he would just sit and think about his future and fantasize about the life he would make for himself. This year neither Lily nor his mother were around, he wasn't in the mood for studying and he certainly wanted to avoid getting caught up in depressing thoughts.
Severus was dreading spending the day alone in the house and didn't want to chance coming across Lily outside. He watched his father gulp down the cheap coffee.
Severus took a deep breath and braced himself. "Dad?" he said, tentatively.
His father looked at him expectedly but didn't say anything.
"Can I come work with you at the mill?" asked Severus.
"You want to work at the mill?" asked his father slowly in response.
Severus swallowed his nervousness and went on. "I'm sixteen, now. I can help with money."
"You? Doing men's work?" mocked his father and snorted.
Severus stood up abruptly. He didn't need to be made fun of at home, too.
"I don't know why I bothered to ask!" he spat and stormed to his room.
Severus spent rest of the day and the day after cleaning the house to keep himself busy. It looked like nothing had been cleaned since his mother had left. Dust and dirt was covering everything. Severus ignored his father and the looks he gave him. He swept the floors, dusted the furniture, washed the tiles and cabinets and pretended he was alone in the world.
...
It was the third day of the summer holiday that Severus woke up to his father shaking his shoulder. He blinked a few times and scowled.
"Put some clothes on, you lazy boy." said his father with a glare.
"Why? You want me to go shopping?"
"I'll be down stairs. Don't keep me waiting." with that the man left. Severus stared at the doorway where Tobias had been standing for a few seconds then decided to get ready. It wasn't the best idea to make his father mad.
When Severus got down the stairs, Tobias was waiting at the door. They went out and started walking in silence. They were going to the nicer part of the town. Severus was getting nervous, he didn't want to run into Lily. He slipped his hoodie over his head and kept his head down.
They finally stopped in front of a shop. Severus looked up. It was a hair salon, a really posh one. "Are they hiring?" asked Severus hopefully.
"No, you're going to get a haircut. I won't have you working at the mill looking like this."
Severus stared at his father, stunned. Tobias huffed and pushed him through the door.
"I don't want to cut it short." said Severus hastily. His father didn't answer. He pushed Severus down on one of the a chairs and went over to talk to one of the barbers.
Tobias had them do the whole treatment. Shampooing, conditioning and styling. Severus just sat there and kept his mouth shut through the whole thing. He didn't want his father to regret his decision to let him work at the mill.
Finally it was over. Severus looked in the mirror and studied his reflection. His hair wasn't much shorter, just layered. It looked smooth and shiny and it refused to stay in one place like it used to.
"You have such beautiful hair. Just try to take care of it from now on." said the barber kindly. She ran her hand through his hair one more time and went to the register where his father was standing. Severus took another look at his reflection. His mother was always the one cutting his hair. He wasn't sure if he liked his hair like this. It looked very girly. He decided to keep this to himself, otherwise his dad might make him cut it all the way. He turned and looked at the register. The barber was handing his father a plastic bag loaded with bottles.
Severus hurried over there. "Dad, I don't need all that. It's expensive." he whispered. He had always made due with a bar of soap. He wouldn't need anything more now.
"It's my money, isn't?" snapped Tobias. He paid the barber and pushed Severus out the door. "Hurry up boy. We'll be late for work."
Severus' face lit up and he smiled for the first time in days.
...
Notes: When Sirius is thinking about what they did he describes Lily's impression as "triumphant". The reason Lily was triumphant, is that she blames Severus for ending the friendship and she saw the situation as proof that Severus is the one that needs her friendship and support.