The Locust
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Criminal Intent , LO:SVU , Without a trace , or any other show mentioned here, but owe so many thanks to the people who created them. I'm making no money out of this whatsoever. Don't sue me, I have no money.
A/N: This chapter is for all my reviewers and readers. A big Easter-egg for you, maybe some reviews for me…
Sorry, Confused, Alex was not intended to be so harsh as she might have appeared. Hope I can get it better now. And I don't know, why the pool game became so long, it just happened and I don't know how to shorten it. It all seems to be important. Have some faith in Bobby.
I really appreciate your opinions. Please give me some. It's the only way I can get better. I have no idea if I even reached good so far, but if you stop to try and get better, than you stop to be good. I don't want to stop, I want to develop. Please help me with your review. Thank you!
9
Barek set the balls. Cautiously she removed the triangle for Goren to take the first shot. The big detective bowed over the table and aimed carefully. It was a straight shot that sent two balls into the pockets. For a moment Goren stared at the scene on the green cloth. When he finally made his decision, he missed. The ball touched the cushion on the rim of the pocket and did not fall. Yet, this pocked was now sealed by his ball.
"Ugh, bad luck," Eames exclaimed and slapped her thighs. "This should have been in."
"But it isn't," Goren replied lightly. "It's Stabler's turn." Saying that he threw a challenging look in the detective's direction.
Eames could not shrug that off so simply. She harbored the feeling that she had been wrong in judging Stabler. Now she suspected that he would not let Goren off the hook so easily. If Goren would not win now, Stabler would remain the asshole he tried to prove to be the whole day… at least towards her partner. And she honestly had thought that he only acted out… and would let himself be proven wrong once Goren made up the profile.
Stabler smirked when he picked up his cue again. This would become interesting. He had watched Goren and looked at him now. When their eyes met, he grinned. To be honest he had been quite surprised that Goren suggested this duel. He had accepted the challenge because it seemed to be the best way to get out of this stuck situation and clear some things between themselves. He also was not as oblivious to the resentments of Eames as he seemed to be. He had noticed that she became annoyed with him, too. That had been why he refused to come along with them to the pool hall at first, and the same reason why Benson had asked him to accompany them.
Goren also watched Stabler. Right now he saw him bow over the table and take aim. Then the SVU detective changed his mind and aimed for another ball. This shot would be more difficult. By the posture and energy radiating from Stabler Goren could tell that he most likely had been right. He had challenged Stabler and he had accepted it. Now he had returned the challenge to Goren when he had asked for to raise the stake. And that had been what Goren had expected and waited for. To put a change in behavior on stake was giving them the opportunity to do that and to save their faces as well. The deal Stabler suggested was good for Goren. Now he had to let him win.
The white ball approached the other, collided… the ball vanished.
Stabler actually sank it. Goren was perplexed. He was a good player himself, but he doubted that he would have managed that shot. While he watched Stabler continue his eyes fell on Eames. She seemed to be worried, but he did not know why. If she does not follow me this time? Is she taking this for real? This was not the moment to talk with her about it.
The next shot was not much easier but Stabler also sank this.
So Goren wondered about how important this let win would be in his plan.
"He's good," Barek whispered to Eames. "And he's cute."
"And married," Eames grumbled. She had lost her interest in any banter.
"Don't you enjoy yourself?" Barek wanted to know.
"Not anymore."
"Because Bobby is about to lose this game?" Barek was astonished. She did not know her colleague as so overprotective.
No, because he's about to lose the last bit of respect Stabler meets him with, she thought miserably and nursed her drink.
"Alex," Barek almost was upset. "They're just playing."
"They're not just playing, Caro."
"Yes, they are. Do you miss these mischievous sparks in your partner's eyes?"
Eames frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Don't you get it?" Even as she got excited Barek kept her voice low. "Bobby has challenged him! He's going to let him win because he wants this deal, Alex."
Eames' frown deepened.
"What are you whispering, ladies?" Logan wanted to know. He just returned with the drinks, Stabler had to pay for. When he looked at Eames he also frowned. "What? Are you worried? Don't you trust your partner anymore?"
Are they really seeing something I've missed, Eames wondered. She looked at the boys again. The features of Goren did not give anything away. One brow was raised with concentration. He followed Stabler's every action.
"You really don't want to do that, do you?" Goren asked.
Stabler squinted at him, the cue still aimed. "What do you mean?"
"This shot. You don't want to play it."
"Oh, yes, I want to," Stabler replied and his grin returned. "I want to get your cooperation tomorrow."
"You will miss that."
"No…" he said, took aim and shot. Everyone watched the ball until it vanished into the pocket. "…I won't."
Now only one ball remained. Stabler's best shot would lead to the side pocket blocked by Goren's ball to be the one which he would have to hit with the eight ball. Another shot would be possible but was quite more difficult. Though, in case he managed to sink it, he would also have free access to the eight ball, lying comfortably opposite of his last ball.
Goren felt shivers on his back. Suddenly he realized that Stabler actually planned to do exactly that. He circled the table. When he passed Eames on this way he lightly squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. When he looked at her afterwards he offered her the smallest of smiles.
Eames shuddered. Does he really do this on purpose? It did not happen often that she lost track of him. Should this be one of those rare occasions? She glanced at Logan. He was grinning, too, as was Barek. Benson seemed to be totally unimpressed.
"Did you let us win the other games?" Goren wanted to know, interrupting Stabler's flow of play again.
Stabler looked up at him, rolling his eyes. He glanced at his partner. "The only way to still get Liv to play with me."
"She was in your team."
"I mean when we're playing with our squad."
"How long have you been playing pool as sport?"
Stabler grimaced at Goren. "Never." A smirk found its way out. "I was playing for money."
"You know your part of the deal?" Goren asked, closing in on Stabler, getting in his personal space from diagonally behind. "You shall stop being such an ass," he whispered in his ear.
Stabler turned his head to look him directly in the eyes. "I already would have stopped, if you wouldn't steadily aim at annoying me."
"I don't," Goren murmured back.
"But you do."
"Yeah, well… maybe as much as you don't try to be an asshole then."
Stabler grinned mischievously.
"So you were playing for money?" Goren asked, passing to Stabler's other side. The SVU detective nodded. "Want to take a side bet? On this shot?" He nodded towards the table.
"What do you mean?"
"You wanted to play the corner pocket, didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"Ten to one that you'll miss it."
"Ten bucks?"
"Okay."
Eames gasped. It was the first time she saw Goren bet on something he could not look up in a book. She had learned the hard way and lost such bets against him as did Carver and Deakins, as well as Barek and Logan. She knew he liked to bet, but it never had been a game like that.
"You owe me one hundred dollars," Stabler smirked. "And another root beer."
"At first you should sink it," Goren taunted.
Slowly Stabler bowed over the table again to play the next shot. He took his time and thought about it carefully before he actually shot.
They all caught their breaths as the white ball bounced back from the cushion towards the blue one, hit it and… it went right into the corner pocket.
"Wow," Logan exclaimed. "That was a great…" he trailed off.
"No," Stabler breathed, who also saw what Logan had noticed. The white ball continued towards the side… and hit the ball blocking the pocket, letting it fall… and bringing Goren back into the game. "No! Shit!" He hit his forehead with the flat hand. "Damn!"
"Thanks, Stabler," Goren teased. "I may owe you one hundred bucks, but you may pay for your root beer yourself."
"Yeah, yeah." Stabler glowered at Goren, but a grin tucked at the corners of his mouth. "You still have to win the game. It's not over yet."
"We'll see."
Eames was astonished. She could hardly believe that Goren became so relaxed in Stabler's presence. He now aimed for one of his balls. It smoothly dropped into the pocket. He missed the next shot, but two of his balls were blocking the white on its way to Stabler's.
"You did this on purpose, hm?" Stabler asked. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to disappoint you." He aimed at the white ball in a steep angle. When he shot, it jumped over the balls and hit the eight ball to let it vanish. Stabler put his cue on the table's rim. Goren circled the table, holding out his hand.
"Well done, Stabler," he said, shaking the other man's hand. "You're right. I owe you a root beer."
Side by side they went to the bar to get the drinks.
"So you really were playing for money?" Goren asked as they waited.
"Yeah. In addition to the job I had in the time between the marines and police academy. I could pay the rent, but pool sometimes was what kept bread on the table." He grinned at Goren. "But if you're going to tell my wife, I'll have to kill you."
"And I'm going to have to kill you, in case you're telling Eames that this was show."
Stabler chuckled. "Not all of it, I guess."
"Yeah. You being an ass was for real."
"I had a bad hair day and to be called out in the middle of the night didn't make it better. Sorry. I apologize." He looked at him intently. "Thanks for offering a way out. I'm going to try and behave myself. Just don't push us aside again, okay? Don't leave us out."
The barkeeper put the drinks on the counter. Both men took their beer and clank the bottles, before they drank.
"Okay," Goren agreed.
xxx
Eames saw them clink the bottles and was both, relieved and annoyed. Yes, it looked as if they would get along with each other now, but she was angry nevertheless.
Why am I angry, she wondered. At myself because I did not interpret the small signs between the boys correctly? At Bobby because he did not tell me that he was challenging Stabler for to achieve a truce? Or am I just mad with Bobby because he has talked with Nicole? Alone? That he left me out?
When the boys were back she just took several sips of her drink before she grabbed her stuff, ready to leave.
"You want to go?" Barek asked and she nodded.
"I'll give you a lift," Goren offered. He backed off a little when she squinted up at him. "Can I take you home, Eames?"
He seemed to be eager to leave with her. To be alone with her? To be able to talk freely?
"Okay," she agreed. He accompanied her out and to his car. She kept waiting, but during the entire ride he did not say a single word. Parking on the curb in front of her apartment building they were sitting wordlessly in their seats. She was just about to get out when he spoke.
"I'm sorry, Eames. I should have told you."
"What should you have told me?"
"About Nicole."
Well, at least he seems to know what he has done wrong. She sighed.
"Why did you talk with her… alone? You know what she's like. She's always messing with your head."
"I should have waited for you, but I did not know when you'd be back and I… I have to admit… that I really was curious to find out what had happened to her."
"You shouldn't have interrogated her."
"I wasn't. We were just talking."
"You know that she's never just talking!"
For a moment he just looked at her thoughtfully before he nodded. "Yeah. I was so consumed with the case that I didn't give it another thought. And Deakins didn't either."
"The captain's another case!" Thinking of him made her furious again. But the whole day had been a horror trip. "I'm sorry, too," she breathed.
"What for?"
"My behavior. I wanted to show you that it wouldn't hurt to work with them together. I may have overshot the mark. I'm sorry."
He did not answer right away. A small smile touched his lips. "I wanted you to bond with them… to make a connection between us."
"That may be right, but I started it the wrong way."
"I'm glad you started it at all. I should have reacted differently to Stabler." He paused. "I was astonished but still amused that you called each other by first name so fast. When did that happen?"
"Right after breakfast," she said. "They're calling each other by first name constantly and Benson asked me if it would be okay for me, too. I shouldn't have agreed."
"Why not?"
"I excluded you by doing that. I did not want to exclude you. You already had a bad time. I'm sorry, Bobby."
For a long moment he remained silent. When she did not expect it anymore he finally answered.
"It hurt. But it's forgotten now. Don't feel guilty anymore."
"Are you okay with Stabler now?"
He shrugged. "The deal's okay. I guess we found a basis for our work relationship now. Let's see how it's going to work."
"You're going to be okay?" she asked, lightly touching his cheek with her fingertips.
"Yeah, I will." He looked at her, smiling. "I'll walk you in."
"Oh no, you won't!" Eames laughed. "Why should you? Don't you think I can walk on my own?"
"I just want to make sure you're going to be okay, too."
"I will be able to reach my apartment on my own, Bobby. I'm not drunk. Thank you."
"Then flicker with your lights as soon as you're in, okay."
Now she stared at him, puzzled. "Okay, Goren. What's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing's sitting with Humpty Dumpty on the wall and knitting sweaters. What's wrong with you?"
He did not answer right away, but even in the dim light of the streetlights she could see that he blushed.
"Is it because of this guy?" Eames demanded to know. "C'mon, talk with me. Is it because of him?"
For a moment he just stared at her. Then he slightly nodded.
"You're worried? Do you think he could be after me? Don't be ridiculous!"
"I don't find anything ridiculous about caring for you. You're my partner. It's my job to protect you. I'm just doing my job."
"Don't go too far, Sherlock," she warned. "I can take care of my own. I'm trained to do that. And I have a gun."
"I know."
"Then you'll stay here and I will go upstairs. Don't try to follow me."
"I would not follow you." He glowered at her, offended. "Would you offer me your sofa?"
She punched his shoulder, laughing. "No, I won't! I don't need a babysitter, so you won't come with me. I'll flicker with my lights, but nothing else. Night, Bobby."
She got out of the car and waved at him from the entrance of the building. Goren waited until the lights in her apartment went on and a few minutes later flickered. Then he lowered the backrest of his seat and prepared himself for the night.
"Sweet dreams, Eames," he murmured.
xxx
unknown location
next day around 8 a.m.
Linda could not tell which day it was. Was it day at all? Or was it night? She had no possibility to determine that. When he came back this time he did not beat her, he did not violate her and he did not humiliate her. He just handed her a light cotton dress, beige with multicolored dots, and told her to get dressed.
Then he cuffed her hands behind her back and gagged her with tape.
She was dragged out of the door and up a stairwell. Blinding light embraced her when she left whatever it was where she was held prisoner. Her eyes could not adjust to the brightness, but she felt grass and soil under her bare feet. Then she was pushed inside of a van.
Endless seemed the ride to be.
Through the blackened glass of the windows nothing could be seen. After a long while Linda could hear traffic. After the long time in silence it was almost deafening.
If we're back in the city? Have we left New York at all? Or is this another city?
She lay on her side and had no choice but to wait for whatever might come. Slowly she readjusted to the noises.
When the car stopped, nothing happened at first. She heard him rummage and dial tones of a cell phone. Then silence. Well, relative silence compared to the traffic.
He climbed in the back of the van and knelt down beside her to undo the cuffs and remove the tape. One of the halves he closed around his own left wrist and threw a light jacket over it.
"If you come with me without any fuss you might see your brat again," he hissed and opened the back door.
She scrambled to her feet and followed him out. Once more she was blinded by light. Only when they entered a house it became better and she could make out where she was going. She was dragged into a lift and later down a hall.
A couple came from the front and Linda stared at them expectantly. The woman glanced at her disgustful but passed without any question. On the contrary, she urged her husband to go faster to avoid the strange couple.
Help me, Linda thought. Oh please, help!
She threw a glance over her shoulder and stumbled along. In front of apartment 8G he stopped. With a picklock he opened the door and pushed Linda inside.
They were in a small flat with just a large living room, a kitchenette, a bathroom and a bedroom. Linda was under the impression that it belonged to a woman. The whole interior had a feminine touch.
He guided her into the bedroom and released the cuff.
"Lay down on the bed," he told her.
And she followed the order. What she had to expect she could not tell. It might be humiliating or painful, but if she had a chance to see Jamie again, she would endure it.
He looked around the room in search for something he could use. When he spotted an item he picked it up and went to the bed.
"Take off the dress."
Once more she submitted to his wishes. Slowly she sat up and pulled the dress over her head. Beside the bed she let it fall.
"Lay down prone."
So she started to stretch on the plaid.
"No, head to the end, honey."
When it had to be… she turned and lay down. In only a second he was over her.
"Don't scream. If you scream I'll go and kill your brat."
It was only the thought of Jamie and her survival that kept her from expressing the pain that filled her when he used the object he had found to sodomize her. Then he grabbed her legs and flipped her on her back. As she lay there underneath him he took another piece and raped her.
Tears streamed over her face and she whimpered and sobbed heartbreakingly. Each thrust let her slide towards the bed's end until her head hung over. The next shoved her shoulders over the rim.
When he got a knife out, it happened so fast that she did not even notice it. In rich splashes her life left her body.
xxx
One Police Plaza
Major Case Squad
Goren had managed to wake up quite early. He had minor problems to get out of the car to stretch. Then he checked on Eames' building before he went to get coffee and danishs. Just before she was usually ready to leave he was back at her house, ringing her bell. Eames had been astonished to find him on her threshold so early and she frowned at him with mild suspicion which grew when she saw that he wore the same suit as the day previous.
Have you been at home, she had asked and he had refused to answer. She knew he had not been home, otherwise she would not have asked. So she ate her danish, climbed in his car and remained silent for the time they needed to get to One Police Plaza.
There had not been any news. When Benson and Stabler arrived they continued to discuss the case for a while, then Benson and Eames left to question more people and to try and find someone who might have seen the killer. The men stayed at the squad room, searching for a vital clue in the files.
Lazily leaning back, his feet on the corner of the table, Stabler sat in the office chair with a file in his lap. Goren was pacing again.
"This goddamned sergeant of the 1-7," Goren grumbled. "He hasn't put the least bit of effort in this case. Eames would have said due to the other two thousand cases they had to deal with, but that doesn't change the fact that we have hardly information about Perkins."
Stabler glanced up at him. He watched him for a moment before he decided to address him.
"Is there any chance you could stop that?" he asked.
Goren froze in his track. "Stop what?"
"That," he made a circling hand gesture. "You're making me seasick."
This remark triggered a snorting laugh of Goren. He shrugged and dropped into another chair.
"What is it that makes you really this restless?" Stabler demanded to know. He eyed him closely, knowing that his chances for an answer were slim.
"I'm worried for Linda," Goren admitted. He knew he had to talk to someone, and if he did not want to share his thoughts with Eames he had to chose someone else. "And I'm worried for whoever may follow her. Once she's found he needs a new victim to serve his pathologic needs."
"You already said that. Still, your theory about the last two women to be selected because you know them sounds… strange."
Goren snorted, getting up again. "I am strange. You didn't notice that?"
"Oh, yeah, I did notice… borders on crazy." He intended to let that sound funny, but as he saw the Goren turn to him and the look on his face he doubted that he was understood this way. "Hey, wasn't meant that way," he hurried to explain. He must have hit a sensitive spot. Well, he could understand that. All the rumors did not go unnoticed. "I mean it isn't as if you would have a history of mental illnesses in your family…"
Goren's piercing stare let him stop immediately. Stabler swallowed. Unintentionally he had said something that hit very close to home.
"Pursue this path and I'll show you how crazy I can really be," Goren roared, closing in on Stabler, getting in his face.
"I don't know anything. It was just…" Stabler stared into the brown orbs and was overwhelmed by Goren's intensity. "That was not…"
"I don't have to justify myself, above all not to a lose cannon like you!"
"You see me as a lose cannon?" Stabler breathed, more than surprised to hear that, even more as it came from Goren, who was considered to be a nutcase by the whole department.
Goren eyed him thoughtfully. "Well… you're known for to have quite an attitude. And you're not easy to get along with. You showed me how much of an ass you can be."
This left Stabler really dumbfounded.
"I really was, hm?" he asked tentatively. "I'm not used to guys like you. Is there something you might want to explain?"
Thinking about that Goren backed off and leaned against the pin board, his head tilted to the right, arms crossed over his chest. He was not sure whether he should answer this request or not. Either way it could go from bad to worse. He was not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve and still tried to judge if any confession from his side would not be round all the precincts by next day's end. Once burnt, twice shy. Still, he had to make a decision.
"Your squad is all voluntary, right?" he started cautiously.
Stabler nodded, equally cautious.
"And normally the detectives are assigned to it for two years. You're with SVU how long now?"
"Touché," Stabler said. "What do you want to tell me? That I can't be normal if I stay with this squad for such a long time? Think of what to say, you might offend my partner by implying that she's not normal either.."
Goren smiled at Stabler's protectiveness. Benson was almost as long with SVU as Stabler. And they were their squad's equivalent to Eames and himself at Major Case.
"IAB has it in for you. Word is that you can be easily annoyed and that you exaggerate playing the bad cop."
"Very nice description. Careful wording."
"Two times suspended, one time on the verge of being dishonorable dismissed. You're not calling this a lose cannon?"
Stabler frowned deeply and ground his teeth. He could not deny that he was annoyed right now, but he also was curious. "Anything more?"
"You have to deal with the abysses of human nature. This can cause severe traumata…"
"You sound like Jackson," Stabler cut him short.
"Who's Jackson?"
"You know so much about me and don't know Jackson?" He grimaced. "She's the shrink who almost cost me my career. This has been the ominous dishonorable dismissed. She did a psych evaluation and told Cragen I'd be close to blow. I can get rough on people but I'm not crazy. No one can tell me what and what not to think about. And yes, something like this makes me very angry." Yes, he also sounded very annoyed now. "I have a wife and four kids. All I want is, to try and achieve a bit more security for them and everyone else."
"So you're purely idealistic?"
"You don't survive in a unit like special victims if you're not dedicated to this job."
"Just dedicated or obsessed?" Goren pressed.
"I could easily return this question to you," Stabler tossed the ball back in Goren's court, getting up from his perch. "Or should I question you about possession?"
The big detective smiled inwardly. He already wondered when Stabler would lose his coolness. Actually he believed the job the detectives with SVU did to be more difficult than what they were doing at MCS. In his opinion they were the true elite of New York's Finest because they had to face the most heinous felonies imaginable… and often the victims were children.
Truth be told, he did not think that he would be able to do this job permanently. It would give him truly bad headaches by day and more nightmares by night. And maybe, just maybe, it would finally drive him over this thin line he always feared to cross… and end up being institutionalized together with his Mom.
It was not easy for him to admit, but he admired Stabler and Benson for their ability to do this hard, emotionally demanding and yet so desperately needed job. He could understand that they might kick over the traces from time to time.
He had asked to call them in. His only concern now was, that he still did not know what to expect from them.
"Tit for tat," he agreed. "You answered my questions, now it's my turn."
As a matter of fact, Stabler had not expected his consent. Too contradictory were the rumors which circulated through the department. Mostly to hear were that the quirky detective was nuts and unbearable to work with. And that he talked a lot, yet not about himself but very much incomprehensible stuff like profiles. Last but not least he had the habit to have just one last word to say…
He almost could feel the stare with which Goren observed him. He felt like he was dissected. Well, that was something he also could easily return, and the brows over his sapphire eyes furrowed.
"No, I'm not possessed. Even if this might be one of the most common rumors," Goren said, cringing slightly under the piercing stare. "I just can't explain myself."
"Oh." Slowly Stabler nodded. "That's all? You don't contradict that you're believed to be nuts?"
Goren shrugged. "That's old. I have to live with that since I became detective." Truth be told… a lot longer.
"But you don't deny it?"
"It's no use in denying that. By the way: Letting them believe keeps them away from me."
Stabler thought about that. "But wouldn't you prefer respect over suspicion?"
"I have the respect of the ones who count… at least for me." He cleared his throat. "And their trust."
"Must be difficult to maintain. Don't get me wrong, but a stunt like almost blowing up your partner and yourself definitely qualifies for a lose cannon, don't you think?"
Once more Stabler was surprised by an unexpected reaction. He would have bet that Goren would get angry. Instead of that he saw him blush now, a deep crimson red, right up to his hair-line.
"I… wasn't aware… that this circulated, too," he mumbled. "I… I really was… sorry. You can believe me that."
It was all Stabler could do not to show his amazement. The famous Robert Goren, king of interrogation, was actually stuttering.
"That's almost as known as the incident with Croyden," he said.
Goren snorted. "That wasn't my fault. It turned out that he did not commit suicide but was murdered."
"For to damage your reputation, as I have heard."
"For once the rumors are correct," Goren confirmed. "A suspect wanted to discredit me, so that my theory about her own crimes would sound unbelievable, that I wouldn't be trusted."
"It worked. I know some folks who still believe the first version," Stabler admitted.
This time Goren frowned. He decided to take the straight path this time. "Are you one of them?"
"No." Stabler chuckled. "I'm not. I'm trying to solve the mystery that's you."
"That's more than most people do," Goren mumbled.
But Stabler heard it nevertheless and was astonished to hear sadness in these words. "That's why I'm a cop, Goren. To solve mysteries."
His small but genuine smile was inviting and Goren could not resist to return it. When Stabler saw it, together with a passionate glow in the brown depths, one of the open, hilarious smiles he was famous for broke his features.
"Shall I get us a coffee?" he asked.
"That would be great," Goren agreed. "Thanks, Stabler."
He still stared at his SVU colleague when Stabler turned and headed for the door. Under the frame he stopped and pivoted again. Eyeing the big detective sympathetically he made up his mind.
"Elliot," he said and met an incredulous stare. "It's Elliot," he offered again.
A broad, still somewhat cautious, smile was the first response. Obviously he had to think this over.
"Bobby," Goren finally said.
"Okay."
Only now Stabler left to make the Starbucks run.
xxx
Manhattan
Even if it was just afternoon special agent Samantha Spade was tired. She was ready to fall onto her bed and to sleep without even getting undressed. But when she reached her apartment she forced herself to stop at her kitchenette first.
Sitting at the counter, head in her left hand for support, she waited for the instant meal to get hot into the microwave. She longed for a coffee but couldn't get herself up to make it. Even if she would have been able, she told herself that coffee only would prevent her from sleeping. And sleep she needed after a rough double shift.
So she ate the meal without even noticing what it was, just to supply her body with energy. Then she strolled to the bathroom.
That was when the thought of something being wrong crossed her mind for the first time. She shook her head and walked on. After finishing her go-to-bed-routine in only four minutes, she wandered to her bedroom and opened the door.
Sam froze in place.
She heard someone scream in shock only to notice seconds later that she was screaming herself.
O no, she thought. Don't let Jack and the others let this know. Despite of knowing better she felt shame. Why haven't I smelled it before? It's pretty obvious now.
Backwards she stumbled into the living room and to the phone to call…
To call Jack? To call Major Case Squad?
Finally she called One Police Plaza first, reaching captain Deakins personally, who assured her that the detectives would be on their way. Then she called Jack's cell phone. He promised her to be there in about half a hour and to inform Viv and Martin as well.
The first to arrive were neither of them but Bonasera and Messer.
Sam had regained her composure when she opened the door and gestured the CSIs to the bedroom. All three of them stopped at the door.
Onto Sam's bed lay, her head dangling over the rim, Linda Montagnolo. She seemed to stare right up to them, her open mouth forming the voiceless question 'why'. It was the same as with the other scenes. Her legs were crossed, the hands folded. And the mane of red was flooding to the floor, mixed with blood.
"He's killed her here," Danny gasped.
"You're kidding," Sam replied.
"No, he's not," Stella affirmed. "You can recognize it by the blood stains. She may have been drugged or unconscious when he brought her here, but he cut her throat when she was lying on the bed."
"Sam?" Jack strode in through the apartment's door she forgot to close. "Everything all right?"
"Honestly? Not really." Still she was pale.
xxx
Goren and Stabler looked up startled, as Deakins shot into the office. By the look of him Goren could tell, that he had bad news to deliver.
"We have another body," he said. "Stabler, where's your partner?"
"Gone again, questioning people," the SVU detective answered.
"Okay, then I'll call her cell phone. You'll go to the crime scene and meet her there." With that he handed him a note with the address.
Stabler just had a short look at it and followed Deakins out.
"Captain Deakins, sir," he said. "With all due respect, I think that Goren should come with us to the crime scene. Eames and Benson are in Brooklyn and it would take some time for her to come to the scene."
Deakins turned on his heels to face the detective. He knew about the rivalry between the men and was surprised by this request.
"While we were talking about the report of the Fountain case he pointed out some vital clues," Stabler explained. "His evaluation is of great value, but it's more difficult if you don't know the crime scene firsthand. We would appreciate it when he could examine the scene himself."
Deakins stared at him. Actually he was asked to withdraw Goren's desk duty. He did not want to do that. Deakins also did not know if he should reprimand or congratulate Stabler for his brazenness. As much as he appreciated that the detectives had found a way to bury the hatchet, he was not happy that he was approached in this way. He already thought about to order Logan to go with Stabler. Yet, he knew about Goren's sense for crime scenes… but it was only Thursday…
"Goren," he called for his lead detective. When he came out of the office he eyed him sharply. "Do you want to tell me something?"
"Sir?" puzzled he looked from his boss to Stabler and back.
"The feds…" Stabler whispered.
Goren glanced at him. "That I won't insult federal agents again?" he mused.
"Right. And if you mess this up, you're going to write that on the whiteboard, two hundred times," Deakins said. If it would not be his job to be the strict superior, he would have grinned at Goren's confused expression, but he kept his features stern. "You'll go with him," he told Goren, eying him sharply once more. "And when you're done with the scene I'll see your butt behind your desk again. Clear?"
"Yes, sir." Goren was way too surprised to think of something else. He left together with the SVU detective. "Shall I drive?" he asked his colleague on the ride down to the garage.
Stabler stared at him. "No," he contradicted with determination, shaking his head. "I heard about your ways with cars. I will drive."
"You already spent too much time with Eames."
This time Stabler grinned. "It wasn't her who told me that. And I won't tell tales."
Well, actually Goren had no problem with Stabler doing the driving. There were way too much things on his mind he had to deal with. "Why did you do that?" he asked lowly.
"You can call me selfish…" he grinned at him, "…but I just figured that you would most likely become a nervous wreck, once you know that this time it is Linda Montagnolo… and you were left behind. That would drive me mad."
Goren stared at him, his eyes turning a deep dark chocolate with grief.
"You knew that we would find her murdered, right?" Stabler asked.
"As you knew as well," he said.
"There was no evidence that she was part of the string."
"Well… we have evidence now."
Stabler could hear sadness and grief in these words. They offered him a glimpse at what was really boiling inside of his fellow detective. Something quite bigger and deeper that was not readable if you did not know Goren better.
"It was just a matter of time," Goren continued. "And time just ran out. Now he's after a new victim."
xxx
While the CSIs began to work, the agents sat down in the kitchenette. When their other two colleagues reached her place, Viv made the coffee Sam refused to make not just a hour ago. Everyone of them was gladly sipping it, discussing the latest events, when Goren and Stabler arrived fifteen minutes later.
While the SVU detective gave a short 'hello' to the agents, Goren strode directly to the bedroom, where Danny marked evidence with numbers, taking photos of the whole scenery and the single traces in detail, and Stella dusted everything to get fingerprints. No one said a word. Cautiously Goren stepped in, not to ruin any possible trace. Stabler stopped at the door.
"Looks like the first we found," Goren stated, then he spotted the hair brush, the killer had used, and swallowed. "It's the same posture," he mumbled.
"Will confirm your theory, right?" Stabler asked.
"I don't want to be proven right," he snapped. "I wish we could have found her alive."
Of course you do, Stabler thought. As everyone of us does.
Carefully, not to step into traces, Goren squatted at the end of the bed. His look was caught by the open eyes of the dead woman. He put his left hand over his mouth, fighting the sick feeling that threatened him. The lump in his throat hardened. I'm sorry, he thought. Oh God, I'm so sorry. This is my fault. He studied her face and the cut throat.
"This it not your fault, Goren," Stabler said softly. "You may feel sorry, but this is not your fault."
Damn! Have I said that aloud? As he raised his head to look at Bonasera he saw her giving him a small encouraging smile and knew he actually had. He withstood the temptation to brush over the red mane. The hair flooded down into the pool of blood on the ground.
Slowly he got up and slipped a pair of gloves on. His expression turned professional again and he bowed over the bed for a closer look.
"He has changed… or developed," he said, pointing to her wrists. "This doesn't seem to be caused by a rope. What do you think, Bonasera?"
"I do agree," she replied. "Guess it might have been cuffs."
"Yeah."
He bent deeper to examine the body. "Smells somewhat musty," he said.
If he would not have been so concentrated on what he did, he might have been alarmed again by the way Stabler arched his brows as he watched Goren inspect the scene. Right now Stabler could watch how Goren felt the body and then had a closer look at the woman's abdomen. He did not like what he saw, but he remained silent, determined to wait until Goren was finished.
"It's in her hair," Goren mumbled. "And this… injury," he subconsciously tried to put into words what the killer had done to Linda with the hair brush. "It testifies to an enormous rage. Enormous but controlled."
He continued with the crime scene, oblivious to his colleague still standing under the doorframe. Goren looked tired. It was not only in his features but in his whole body language.
Stabler wondered. During the drive he had been in high spirits, almost nervous. About the hunt, Stabler had thought. But now he wondered. His major case colleague was lost in thoughts, he could see that. What made him uneasy was the fact that Goren wasn't saying aloud what he got in mind about the killer.
Abruptly Goren turned and Stabler jumped out of his way, when he paced to the kitchenette.
"You shouldn't sit there, drinking coffee", Goren spat before Stabler could reach him.
"We didn't…" Martin prepared to say.
"What kind of behavior is that?" Goren was close to losing his temper now. To see the FBI agents made him nervous, to see them comfortably drinking coffee almost was the straw that broke the camel's back. "I don't mean that you do not respect her! Do you know if the killer was not in here, too?
"We supposed…"
"Don't suppose. That's the fault! You can't spoil a crime scene by making coffee! What are you thinking? Is that what they are teaching you at Quantico?" It took him some effort to keep his voice low.
Stabler saw Goren run into more days of desk duty if not suspension and stepped forward.
"Detective Goren is right," he said. "Just because this crime scene happens to be in Agent Spades apartment does not mean that you have anything to say here. This is a NYPD investigation. You're not responsible…"
"Detective," Jack Malone interrupted him with the low soothing tone he usually used when talking to relatives of missing persons. "No one is threatening to undermine your investigation…"
"But you're spoiling the scene," Goren stated.
"We are not spoiling the scene," Jack contradicted with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "We also know how to handle a crime scene. And Agent Spade will be at your disposal for to give her statement."
"We should do that at the station."
"Then we'll meet you there in about one hour," Jack said.
Goren frowned but agreed.
"And don't insinuate that we don't care. We are concerned. About her," he tilted his head towards the bedroom, "and about her," looking to Sam.
Before Goren had a chance to open his mouth, Stabler nudged his side, and Goren glowered at him.
"I don't think you have to be worried," Goren said, staring first at Sam than at Jack. "This isn't about warning her, she might be the next. This is about telling us, that she could have been and he refused to take her." He fired a look at Jack. Then he left the apartment, Stabler right behind him.
xxx
"Wait," Stabler shouted. "Just wait." He almost had to run to catch up with Goren. "What was this in there?"
But Goren did not stop. He also did not stop to wait for the elevator. He ran down the stairs, shot out on the street and away in the direction of their car. Stabler followed a few yards behind. He saw his colleague reel and finally stop. Goren leaned against a streetlight with his back, bowed, clutching his knees and breathing heavily. Stabler suspected that it wasn't the run that made him gasp for breath. Slowly he stepped closer.
Goren grabbed his head and it seemed to Stabler as if he was trying to press something out of it.
"Hey, Goren. Talk to me. What's up?" he asked.
For more than a minute, which stretched for him to eternity, he didn't react at all. Then his hands fell down. He took a deep breath and straightened up.
"It's him," he answered.
Stabler almost couldn't hear him. "Who? Malone?"
He smiled wryly. "You know that I don't mean him." His stare softened as he looked at his colleague. "It…it…was someone else I saw lying there."
"Eames?" Stabler suspected. "But why? Your theory that the killer is fixed on you is weak at best. She won't be in danger…"
"She matches the profile as well as her or agent Spade."
"Yes, and as Olivia and several other women. This so-called connection still can be a coincidence."
Goren looked at him, his doubts clearly visible.
"Let us go back to One Police Plaza," Stabler suggested and went on towards the car.
It was a silent ride. Stabler couldn't bring Goren to talk to him and so he ceased to try. Now and then he looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Goren sat deep in his seat, staring out of the window, yet, seeing nothing but what crossed his mind.
xxx
Back in the bullpen they both sat at their desks doing paperwork until Jack and Sam arrived. Then they questioned the FBI agent together and needed hardly thirty minutes to take the statement. Not much later Benson and Eames returned and the four of them filled Deakins in on their results. Now they all sat, writing reports.
Eames couldn't concentrate. She was thinking about her partner. It surprised her that Deakins had let him go to the crime scene. She was also surprised by Deakins decision to let Goren talk with Nicole. Alone! Eames still was furious about that.
When she looked at Goren now, she could see that the case was hard on him. He was absentminded and totally unfocused. And she knew that until now he did not really try and make up a profile of the guy. So far Stabler seemed to know more about the perp than Goren. But Eames was certain that her partner most likely knew a ton about this guy. The information was locked up in his head. The trick was to find out how to get it out of there.
Eames got some coffee and set one of the cups next to Goren on the table. He did not seem to notice. As she watched closer she realized that he wasn't working at all. He was just shoving the paper from one side of the desk to the other.
Eames circled the desks and leaned in on him. "Goren," she whispered into his ear, yet, with a sharp touch to underline her seniority. "Come with me. Now." She turned back on her heels.
After all he looked up. Eames already entered interrogation two. If she was calling him his last name, she was angry. Feeling that at least Logan and Barek were watching him, Goren got up and followed her.
In the privacy of the interrogation room Eames was waiting for him. "Explain yourself," she demanded.
Slowly Goren entered the room and closed the door. But he didn't speak, was just waiting.
"What's the matter with you?"
Silence.
"I can't believe you lost your ability to talk. – It's me, okay. So come on, speak to me."
Silence.
"Bobby, I lose my patience," she said. "Does this case really disturb you so much?"
"Who says so?"
"I do!" She was glaring at him. "You haven't done much so far. I know you can do better than this."
"You think so?"
His taciturnity arose her anger. Normally he was the one who was talking.
"What was this all about being no warning, but a message he could have killed Spade but refused to do so? You made up a good profile of the victims but the profile of the murderer is at least fragmentary! I know you could do better – but you don't even try!"
"Are you finished?" he snapped.
His look gave her the creeps. This was not the Robert Goren she was used to.
"What would you say if I'd tell you I don't want to try?" he challenged her.
"I would want to know why."
He watched her closely. "No, you wouldn't."
Silence.
"We have a lunatic on the loose out there," she finally said. "He's abducting and killing women. We don't have a clue how to catch him. And you refuse to do something?"
"I don't refuse to do something. I'm working the case."
"You're kidding! You're shoving papers round and talking in riddles. But you don't try and really help."
"You do want me to try?" This sounded like a challenge again.
"Yes, I do you want to try," she took it, even if she was annoyed. "Come on, go ahead. You know me, partner. Here you can talk."
He definitely wasn't pleased. Nevertheless, he started thinking, which included him marching round the room. Still he didn't talk and Eames soon became nervous.
"He is someone who needs attention," he began. "He often to almost lacks it even if he truly deserves it. Because he isn't dumb. After all he has to be very intelligent and that comes along with arrogance. That's the reason he's leaving his victims at exposed places to be relatively quickly found. He longs for the media showing his prey and discussing his murders. His arrogance possibly drives him back to the scene, talking with reporters or even cops." He paused.
If this should be all you're coming up with, it wasn't worth the trial, she thought.
"He thinks he's creating art. The way he arranges the bodies is not just his MO, it's more a way to express himself. His MO develops fast and seems to be unusually controlled…"
Eames listened to him as he was collecting and discussing his theories until it struck her that he changed. Something was wrong. Eames could sense it with every fiber of her body. Her partner was still talking but his usual mannerisms ceased. He became unaccustomarily still. And then it stroke her: He was talking of the killer in first person - he said 'I'.
"Bobby?" she asked tentatively.
She had no ear for whatever he was saying right then, but when he turned, his gaze made her not uncomfortable but afraid. As he turned himself on her it was in a calm and silent way, what scared her more as if he had downright attacked her. When he did not react to her orders she hit him hard and he backed off. He was breathing heavily and gestured her to stay out of his way.
She caught her breath and hurried out as fast as she dared, not to rise the suspicions of her colleagues.
"War of the roses?" Logan sneered at her, but his grin faded at the sight of her puzzled look.
"You're okay?" Barek asked.
"I'm fine," Eames replied.
Logan did not believe her. He had seen where they were going to earlier and so he got up and went over to I2. Goren still was there, leaning with his back against the wall.
"What have you done?" Logan snapped. "How did you manage to upset your partner?" He wanted to say more but thought better of it when Goren turned his head to face him. The brown eyes were darkened and clouded by a look that even Logan gave the creeps. For nearly three minutes they had their stares locked.
When Goren's eyes finally cleared it was as if a demon had left him. His legs couldn't hold him upright anymore and he slid down the wall to collapse in the corner of the room.
Fear suddenly struck Logan. Not of his colleague, as it happened to be only minutes ago, but for him. With four long steps he crossed the room and knelt down beside Goren.
"Hey, pal," he said softly. "S'everything okay?"
Goren tried and hide from him. From behind Logan heard someone slip in and close the door.
"What happened?" he heard Eames ask.
"I don't know," he answered. "What were you doing here, anyway?"
"I tried to get him focused on the case." She sounded guilty. "He didn't want to and I was furious because we can't afford any disturbance in the investigation when we're already got stuck."
"Did he do his psycho-thing?"
She frowned at him. Logan should know by now that Bobby wasn't just doing any psycho-thing. Logan saw her anger and replied lightly,
"This was meant as a compliment. I was just fishing for words."
"It turned out well…" Eames swallowed. "Until he somehow stepped over an invisible line. His personality seemed to change completely. I was scared," she admitted.
"If he's suffered a nervous breakdown, we should call Olivet or Skoda," Logan proposed.
"Don't you dare!" Eames went mad again, this time at Logan.
"But…"
"It was not a nervous breakdown," Logan was interrupted by a slightly trembling voice. "And even if it would have been it's now called acute psychosis."
Both the detectives looked down incredulously at their colleague.
"Smart-ass," Logan snorted. "Will you tell me what it was instead?"
Goren shifted until he leaned directly in the corner, his arms on his drawn knees. Still his hands were slightly shaking.
"Just… couldn't get out of his head," he simply said. Until now he'd avoided to look at Eames. When he did his eyes radiated compassion. "I'm sorry. You always kept me grounded when I did it before. This time it didn't work."
"Why?"
He just shrugged. "Can't tell. But I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize," she said. "I am sorry for forcing you into this. I should've been listening to you when you told me you didn't want to try."
"That wasn't your fault. I should have tried earlier… without being reminded by you." He took a deep breath. "Did I tell you anything useful?"
"You don't remember?" Eames asked.
He shook his head.
"Do you know what was different to…" Logan lacked an appropriate word. "You know what I mean."
"To the other occasions I was entering a criminal mind?" Goren suggested. "No, I don't. And I don't know whether it might happen again."
They stood there in silence. Obviously Eames was waiting for a chance to talk to her partner alone. Likewise was Logan. And Goren was torn between them. At last he didn't respond to either of them and left the interrogation room. He was walking slowly and was overtaken by Eames before he could reach the squad room. From behind someone grabbed his arm and urged him through the next door, out to the stairway.
"You want to talk?" Logan asked and sat down on the stairs leading upwards.
For a moment Goren just looked at him. No, I don't want to talk. Then he sat down beside him.
"You don't remember," Logan said and it was a sarcastic statement instead of a question. He watched his colleague who sat really close to him, gritting his teeth, staring at the closed door. "You don't want to tell her what's on your mind. Why?"
"I don't want to scare her," he answered.
Logan snorted derisively. "You don't think that it scares her even more if you don't talk to her?"
There was a pause.
"I think this guy will challenge us," Goren finally said in a low voice. "Challenge me. He doesn't need the shelter of the night. He operates in broad daylight. He always took not only attractive but also strong women. He likes them to resist. I cannot tell what he's doing to them while he holds them prisoner but I believe that this time together with them is the reason he abducts them. It's not about killing them. He only does because they could identify him."
Logan didn't dare to interrupt his thoughts by asking. He waited for him to continue.
"That's why the posture of the bodies can't really tell us something about him. He leaves them there just to show that he is capable of doing so without being observed. He exposes them this way just to let us know that we can't do a fucking thing to stop him." He sounded frustrated.
"That tells us that he's quite arrogant an asshole," Logan plainly said.
Goren looked at him incredulously. "You doing the psycho-thing now?"
"Perhaps you're rubbing off on me." Logan grinned and earned a grin in return, though it faded fast.
"This guy doesn't care about a person's status. He likes tough women and a federal agent or police detective won't scare him away but attract him." Goren looked at the door again obviously seeing the bullpen behind in his mind. His voice became lower with every word as he continued, "I just have the feeling that we might personally find out about him. I'm scared that he might attack… Carolyn, or… Alex." He swallowed.
"You want to protect her," Logan said. "That's okay. You feel responsible for your partner. Nevertheless, you should talk with her about your worries."
"It's nothing substantial. If there would be some kind of proof…"
"Goren…" He waited until the other man looked at him. "You should really talk with her."
"And say what?" Logan didn't answer. "I cannot tell why, but I think that he's already close. He's waiting for the right moment to make the next step. I just want to be there when he tries do take her. I want to defend her and make him regret his arrogance."
Logan smiled. "You don't want to lose her." His eyes showed his compassion. "You two have a very special partnership."
"Yeah, we have." Goren sighed. "With her it's so much different to every partner I had before. I can't tell what it…"
"You're soul mates," Logan interrupted gently. He nearly laughed out loud at the almost shocked impression on Goren's face. "You'd do everything for her, wouldn't you?"
"I'd give my life for hers."
"As I would for Barek," Logan admitted. He slapped his colleague on the shoulder encouragingly. "C'mon! Go and talk with her."
The two detectives stood up and entered the bullpen again.
If either of them would have known that their conversation had been overheard they wouldn't have been so relaxed. But they did not see the man who stood on the next landing below. He was smiling like a piranha.
tbc...
A/N: Okay, thanks for reading folks. It would make me so happy if you would take the time to log in and leave a review. They're always so inspiring. So please, review. Thanks.
Oh, and… Happy Easter:)