Morning came way too soon, but also not nearly quickly enough. I'd slept fitfully all night thinking about Soda and was exhausted, but I was also impatient to get back to the hospital to visit him. I was hoping to get there by 8:00 so I could spend a few hours with him before having to be at work by 11:30. After I'd showered and shaved, I started breakfast. It felt wrong to be making only two portions worth. Pony came into the kitchen and got the dishes out of the cupboard. "Mornin' Dare," he said.

"Hey kiddo. How'd ya sleep?"

He made a face. "Lousy. How 'bout you?"

I sighed. "The same. I don't think I'll sleep well till Soda's back home. I hate leavin' him there by himself."

Pony nodded in agreement. I realized the nights were gonna be a lot worse for him than for me since he was used to sharing a room with Soda. After we'd been eating for a few minutes Pony glanced at me hesitantly. "Dare," he started, "I was thinking I could maybe skip school again today. Steve and Two-Bit could get my homework—"

I stopped him before he could go on. "Not a chance, Pony. You only have two weeks before your exams start. You can't afford to miss more school right now."

"But I wanna spend time with Soda!" he protested. "You're missin' work."

"I'm going in to work late. I'm making it up later in the day," I corrected him. "Pone, you're gonna be done school in a couple weeks and then you can spend as much time with Soda as you want. You know he wouldn't want you to flunk your semester cause of him."

That caught Ponyboy's attention. He sat back quietly for a few minutes. I should've known better than to think he was done tryin', though. "What about gym?" he asked. "I have it last period. There's no exam in it and I bet I could convince Mr. Stevens to let my track count for credit since it's almost the end of the year anyway. It's only a twenty minute walk to the hospital—I could leave right after math class on the days I don't have to stay for practice."

I laughed and shook my head. My brother sure was persistent. "Okay, Pone. If you can get Mr. Stevens to agree, then it's okay with me. But I need a note from him." I wasn't putting it past Pony to go whether or not he had permission and I wanted to make sure he wasn't gonna lose his credit over this.

"Don't worry. I'll bring a note tonight." Pony seemed a little happier during the rest of breakfast, having won a small victory. I helped him with the dishes since it was just the two of us. Just as we finished, Steve and Two-Bit came through the door to collect Pony for school. It was in walking distance, but they usually let him hitch a ride when I wasn't going by the school myself.

"Hey Darry," Two-Bit greeted as he came through the door. "Hey kid," he added, grabbing Pony in a headlock.

"Aag…get off me, Two-Bit." Pony struggled for half a minute, then managed to throw his weight just right to knock Two-Bit off balance. Pony pushed him onto the floor and pinned him down.

"You'd better watch it, Matthews, or you're gonna get your ass kicked," I mocked, smiling proudly at my younger brother.

Two-Bit scowled at Ponyboy and pushed him off. "The kid should watch it or he'll be walkin'."

Pony stopped smiling. "I'll be late if I walk now!" he complained.

I looked at the clock: it was 7:50. "We should all get going," I urged. "Steve, you and Two-Bit still good with driving Pony to the hospital after school? I work till five."

"Yeah, we'll be there," Steve said. "C'mon Pony, let's go."

The three of them left the house and sped off. I headed out to my own truck and made my way to the hospital. When I got to Soda's room I found him leaning back against the pillows with his eyes closed. He opened them when he heard me come in the room. I was happy to see that while they weren't as lively as they normally were, there was a spark in them. "Mornin' Dare."

"Hey, little buddy. How're ya feeling today?"

"Not that bad," he said brightly. "I still have a headache, but my nausea is gone. I ate some of the breakfast they gave me." He made a face. "It tasted awful."

I had to laugh at that; I was thankful to hear some good news. "I'll try and sneak in somethin' better for ya tomorrow," I told him.

We spent the next couple of hours just relaxing and spending some time together. It was a nice day out and Soda convinced me to take him outside, but only after I'd insisted on him using a wheelchair. He wasn't happy about it, but he gave in when he realized I wasn't gonna take no for an answer. We were on our way back to his room when we ran into Dr. Sheldon. "Good morning, Darrel," he greeted me. "It's nice to see you out of your room, Soda. I'll take it you're feeling better this morning?"

Soda grinned at him. "Yeah, way better than last night." When we got back to his room Soda climbed back into bed and I took my usual seat next to him. He was starting to look tired again after our trip outside, but I guess that wasn't surprising given the circumstances.

Dr. Sheldon scanned Soda's chart. "I see you ate some breakfast this morning—that's very good news. Any nausea since then?" He asked.

"No, my stomach feels pretty good." His stomach might be feelin' better, but I could see his face starting to pinch up a little in pain. He was tryin' to hide it, but somethin' wasn't right.

"And your headache?" Dr. Sheldon continued. He glanced briefly at me; he must've noticed Soda's expression, too.

"It was okay earlier," Soda started. "It's gettin' worse right now, though…" He trailed off and leaned forward a bit, placing a hand on his head. I took his other hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. He started breathing heavily and gripped my hand tight. "It's real bad, Darry," he gasped.

Dr. Sheldon reacted quickly. He got a needle out of the cupboard and filled it with a clear liquid. Then he went to Soda's side and put the needle in his arm. Soda was so focused on the pain in his head he didn't even flinch as the needle broke his skin. I looked at Dr. Sheldon, wanting answers. "This is the breakthrough pain we discussed last night," he explained. "I've given him a strong opioid that should start to help in a couple of minutes."

I nodded and turned my attention back to Soda. He was still leaning over, holding his head with one hand and gripping my hand tightly with his other. Slowly his breathing evened out and he started to relax. "What the hell was that?" he asked after another minute, looking up at Dr. Sheldon.

"It was an episode of breakthrough pain. Sometimes your pain will 'break through' your regular medications and you'll experience more intense symptoms than normal. When this happens, Soda, you need to make sure you call someone immediately so we can get it under control right away." Soda nodded, looking shaken. "You should get some rest now. You've had a busy morning and you'll need your strength this afternoon."

After Dr. Sheldon had left the room, Soda turned to me. "Dare, do you have to go to work yet? Can you stay till I fall asleep?" He sounded so scared and vulnerable.

"Of course I can stay," I said softly. "I still have time before I need to leave."

Soda lay back and closed his eyes. I stroked his hair with my free hand, trying to comfort him, and after a while he fell asleep. I stayed that way for as long as I could before reluctantly leaving to go to work.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

When I woke up my room was empty. The clock said 1:15; it would be another couple of hours before the gang got here. A nurse brought some lunch in—more gross hospital food—and I picked at it, knowing I had to eat. She gave me more pain meds, too, which I took gratefully. I didn't want to have another experience like this morning. It had felt like my head was being crushed by a cement block.

It didn't take me long to get bored. I didn't feel like reading any of the magazines Darry had packed for me and I'd already spent most of the last twenty-four hours sleepin'. I was relieved when Pony, Steve, and Two-Bit finally arrived. "Hey guys!" I said cheerfully. "I'm glad you're here. I was startin' to think I'd go crazy if I had to stare at the wall any longer."

"Hey Sodapop!" Two-Bit plopped down on the end of the bed.

"Hey Soda," Pony said, smiling at me as he and Steve each claimed a chair. "Ya feelin' better?"

"Yeah, today's been good," I answered. I saw Steve relax a bit at those words. I think I really scared him last night. Steve has seen a lot, but this wasn't the kind of stuff he was used to dealin' with.

Now that the gang was here, the time passed a lot faster. I was surprised when Darry joined us; I hadn't realized it was already after 5:00. Steve looked at the clock when Darry came in. "Shit, it's later than I thought. I gotta get to work. Two-Bit, ya need a ride?"

"Yeah, thanks Steve," Two-Bit answered, getting' up. "See ya later, buddy," he added to me as he left.

"Take care, Soda," Steve said softly, following Two-Bit out the door. I was a bit relieved they had to go. Dr. Sheldon would be there in a few minutes to give me my next dose of chemo and I wasn't ready to have the guys see me so sick yet. I knew they'd see it eventually and I knew they'd support me, but I still felt self-conscious about it.

After the guys left, Ponyboy smiled at Darry. "I got the note," he said. He started digging through his backpack and I glanced at Darry, confused.

Darry chuckled and explained it to me. "Pony's getting phys ed credit for his track so he can skip some of his gym classes and get here before school's out."

I turned to Pony, startled. "Pone, I don't want you skippin' school for me. I know how important it is it you."

"Relax Soda," he told me, finding the note and handin' it to Darry. "It's just a few gym classes, nothin' important. I'd rather be here."

I didn't bother to argue anymore; I'd rather he was here, too. Besides, if Darry said it was okay, I wasn't gonna win the argument, anyway. Just then, Dr. Sheldon came in. "Hello Soda. How are you feeling?" he asked, getting everything ready.

I shrugged. "Ask me in twenty minutes." No one laughed.

I tried not to think about what the night would bring as he injected the drugs into my arm. I made Pony talk about school and Darry told me about the dog at his current roofing site and how it had kept barkin' at them all day. They got quiet as the treatment started to take effect. It wasn't long before I was throwing up, hoping desperately that once my stomach was empty the nausea would stop. It was a useless hope, though. I spent the next couple of hours alternating between throwing up—or dry heaving, anyway—and curling up with my eyes closed, too tired to keep them open but too nauseated to sleep. The pounding in my head didn't help, either. I'd taken more pain meds just a little before the chemo shot, but it didn't feel like they were helping much.

Suddenly, the pain started to intensify. "Dare, it's happenin' again," I whispered. He understood what I was talkin' about and I heard him rush out of the room. Pony took my hand and I held onto it tight, trying to distract myself and relieve some of the pain at the same time. After what felt like forever, I heard some noise in the room and felt a prick in my arm. I knew it wouldn't be long now till the pain meds kicked in. I concentrated on breathing till I finally felt the pressure in my head start to fade some.

Darry put a cold damp cloth on my forehead. I slowly opened my eyes and gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Darry."

"You're welcome. Does it help?"

"Yeah, it's good." I looked at Pony, whose eyes were full of worry. "Sorry Pone. I didn't mean to scare ya."

He shook his head. "Don't be sorry, Soda. It's not your fault. Besides," he added, "I knew it would happen eventually."

I sighed to myself. I couldn't blame him for being so cynical—not much had gone right for him lately. I hated that I was putting him and Darry through all this, even if it wasn't really my fault. After a while, I fell asleep. When I woke up it must have been a lot later cause Darry and Pony had gone home. I was glad, for their sake, that they had; I didn't want them to get run down trying to stay overnight here with me. They still had to go to work and school. One of them had made sure the call button was in easy reach for me and I didn't hesitate to use it when my headache got real bad again. After a nurse had given me the stronger pain meds I lay quietly in the dark, wishing more than anything else that Mom and Dad were alive and that someone was here with me.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Thanks for reading. :) Please leave a review and tell me what you thought! Hawiichick—I wanted to climb into the story and mother him too after writing the end of this chapter!