{ x. Complications Galore .x }
x.| Chapter Ten: Gone |.x
"Thank you for being there, that must have been really weird for you..." she muttered with one hand wrapped around her raised knees and the other aimlessly wondering from twisting her hair to rubbing her neck to touching her cheek and back again.
"It's... not a problem," he replied in an equally weak voice, his once again golden gaze never bothering to hide their blatant staring at the spacey girl who was still stuck in a hospital bed. He needn't point out to her what an understatement 'weird' was. It was beyond odd, her world was just far too filled with advances he'd never understand, particularly whatever happened in that operation room. Well, he understood one thing that occurred in that room… the one thing that neither of them would ever forget.
"I am really sorry, you hadn't any idea what was going on but you—"
"Kagome," he coaxed coolly, "it's really fine. I wanted to be there for you."
She just gave him the feeblest attempt at a smile in return before her hazels once more returned to their lock on the wall ahead of her. The room returned to the creepy calm that had consumed it for far too long, he stood just out of reach not knowing at all what he was meant to do now and it appeared she, too, was at a loss.
Finally, the silence was shattered by the sound of the door opening up and the appearance of one of the many nurses that neither of the two highly sleep-deprived individuals could tell apart any longer. There were those that wore bright colors and funny patterns and those who wore simple, plan, solid colored scrubs but besides that… they were all the same.
"Good morning," she shined with far too much cheer as she pushed in a square container of sorts to the side of Kagome's bed, "how are you feeling?"
Seriously? Could she not tell from looking? Wasn't she a trained medical professional? Still, she managed to give her a weak smile and nod before she pushed her legs down and looked over to the infant as the nurse picked the bundle up to hand to her.
"Everything's fine, just like the doctor told you earlier, we just had to double check," the nurse explained as she gently let go, right away a true curl of her lips formed as she looked at the small child in her arms. "I'll give you three sometime alone."
It still sparked Inuyasha as odd to keep getting congratulated by the nurses and even the doctor that ended up cutting the baby out of Kagome—that was what happened, right? He was still iffy on the details. It wasn't his child, he hadn't anything to do with it, but that's what they all thought… and that's what he wished, too. Didn't he?
"I don't know…" Kagome murmured, startling him gravely. For a moment he mistook her for answering his unspoken question until he saw her eyes were on nothing but her now healthy baby, "I don't know… what to name her."
She had one victory through all of this, besides her little girl ending up being wholly healthy, she did have a girl just like she had been hoping and praying for all the while. She had some very thin patches of black hair but had yet to open her eyes, she was as tiny as could be—yet, the doctor had assured her a normal size—and the softest of skin. She was perfect.
"I thought that's what all those baby name books were for that ya' bought," Inuyasha retorted rather meekly as his gaze wondered down the surreal look on her face to the infant. Now what? What did he do? He wasn't her father, he never would be blood, and he didn't feel right imposing the idea on Kagome… and wasn't even sure if he wanted to take on the responsibility of fatherhood. It wasn't like he had even ever known Kagome in the proper fashion to create a child… he wanted Kagome, more than anything, but did he want to be a father? Wasn't that what it would entail to be beside her still?
Was that what she wanted?
It wasn't out of some selfish reason that he didn't dare take on such a title to the new born it was just… how could he be a good father when he hadn't any idea what one was meant to do? Protect the kid; he got that, but what else? And even if Kagome was willing to walk him through whatever else he was meant to do would he even be good at it? Every bit of him retorted with a sharp 'no'.
"I know," she murmured with a shaky sigh, "I had a lot of them planned out but now that she's actually here… actually in my arms, I don't think any of them fit."
"Kagome…" he mumbled back as he took an unsure step towards her, he knew what those frantic bashes of her eye lashes foreshadowed.
She pressed her lips together ever so tightly as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose, no, she told herself she wasn't going to cry. Not now, when she opened her eyes once more her daughter was stilled in her arms with an even breath. She was asleep, she couldn't help but smile slightly at that as she leaned over to place her back into the portable crib that the hospital had for the babies. Just as soon as she did that she pulled her knees back to their former position and rested her cheek upon them so she could look down at the slumbering infant. The smallest of jumps coursed through her upper body when she felt a hand against her back but just as quickly as it came she relaxed, it was just Inuyasha, after all.
"Everything's gonna be alright now, she's fine, you're fine…"
"Not everything," she whispered back while one tear trickled down her cheek. "I miss him."
Isao, he didn't even have to ask, but he couldn't really find anything to say in return. 'That's normal,' seemed inconsiderate. 'It'll be OK,' wasn't necessarily true. 'I'm here,' meant nothing to her at the moment.
"I miss him so much," her words came out in a crackle as she shut her eyes tightly, the tears couldn't be stopped anymore. "Stupid hormones," she muttered all the same.
Still, he meant to say something but 'it's alright' just wouldn't cut it this time.
"He should be here," she choked, "he should… he doesn't know it was a girl. He'll never know her and… and she'll never know him. I miss him so much… if it was a boy I would have known to name him but… but I don't know what to name her."
"Kagome-chan," a sweet hush caught her attention as she opened her eyes, blinked away the tears that blurred her vision, and saw Isao's parents at the door. There was an ever so worried look written across her mother-in-law's face as she walked in first to sit on the edge of the bed and place her hands upon Kagome's knee.
"She's fine," Kagome assured as she turned her head once more to look down at her daughter.
"I'm… going to give you guys some time alone," Inuyasha decided as he let his hand slip from her back and walked out of the room without another word but one shared stare with Isao's step-father, a rather cruel one at that.
"Kagome-chan," Isao's father sighed as his eyes returned from the closing door to the girl in question, "I have to ask."
"Shin," Isao's mother coaxed.
"No, it has to be asked, who is that man to you?" The way his brows flexed together and grim glare set in upon his face told her how serious the usually laid-back man was.
They had a right to know, she supposed, but must he pester her on the day of her daughter's birth of all times? She was already fairly miserable as it was, and being reminded of her minor gaffe with Inuyasha in Kyoto the night of Isao's accident just didn't make it any better… "Inuyasha is… he was my first love, my first boyfriend," she admitted while she dodged their looks to keep hers on her daughter, "but we haven't been anything like that in over six years now. We're just friends… all that was way back in high school, anyway."
A very iffy, "hm," was all she heard from Shin, Isao's father, but she felt the gentlest hand upon her shoulder from Isao's mother.
"Sweetheart, it's fine, whatever makes you happy now," she assured once Kagome turned to look at her once more, the sweetest of smiles upon her lips as she leaned in to give her a hug and whisper, "Isao would want you to be happy, Kagome-chan, and his little girl to have a father."
"Thank you," Kagome mumbled back as she returned the embrace with all her might and squeezed shut her teary eyes. A weight was truly lifted from her shoulders to hear her say that. She felt her mother-in-law place a simple kiss upon her head before she pulled away to look at her granddaughter.
"Congratulations on having such a beautiful girl, Kagome-chan."
"Thank you," she repeated with a smile, "would you like to hold her?"
"I'd love that."
..x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x..
"I feel like a circus or something," she sighed, swaying her child in her arms lightly as she rested against her bed that was in an up-right position. Finally, her room was empty of relatives that wanted to ogle her daughter endlessly. It was perfectly fine, of course her grandparents would want to and uncle and great-grandpa but after a while… she just wanted to be alone. Well, not fully alone.
"I don't know what a circus is," Inuyasha grumbled back as he readjusted himself in the seat he had pulled up to the bed.
"Never mind then," she retorted as her hazels moved all over her new born, "she has very pretty eyes, don't you think?"
"Uh-huh," they were big and brown, he really didn't see anything special about them but… he wasn't blood and he hadn't really been closer than he was now to her, either.
"I still don't know what to name her… and everyone's been bothering me about it," she complained, finally prying her eyes from her precious to Inuyasha's golden gaze. "What do you think?"
To name her child? As if he'd know so he just shrugged in responds.
"That's no help," she huffed, "how about… Natsumi?"
"That makes sense," he nodded.
"Yeah… but does she look like a Natsumi to you?"
She looked like any other baby would the day of her birth, to him, but he guessed he shouldn't say that, "sure?"
"That doesn't help," she puffed with a quick glare to him, "Takara?"
"Takara…" he let it linger on his tongue for a moment, "if you want it."
"I'm asking for your opinion, Inuyasha," she muttered.
He sighed as he leaned against the chair more, "fine, then, I don't like Takara."
"Then it's not Takara," she nodded as her hazels wondered over the baby twice more before she came up with another, "Tsukina?"
"Tsukina?" he repeated with an awe, "why Tsukina?"
"I like the way it sounds," she replied with a slight shrug, "oh, wait, what about Mizuki?"
After a moment too long of his silence she turned her head to see him looking at the unnamed child, "I like Mizuki."
"You do?" She dragged out a bit before he looked up to meet her eyes, "really?"
"Really, but it's your choice, she's your daughter," he assured as he closed his eyes. It was a good thing he was a half-demon or else he'd be far too exhausted to put up with any of this. How she, a mere human, did it was beyond him.
That's true, very true, it's her daughter… not his. She pressed her lips together before she looked back down to the girl, "Mizuki it is, then… maybe I should ask my mom…"
"Jeez, Kagome, pick a name already," he groaned as he let his head lean more to one side than the other.
"Hey, this is a lifelong decision for her! I can't just pick any name," she snapped back.
He kept a growl from forming in his throat as he pried his eyes open to see that she was giving him quite the glare, "sorry…" he guessed, "I'm tired."
Right, she nodded and let her grievance go, of course he was tired. He had been up the entire time with her, every bit of the way, and had barely left her side for the expectation of Isao's parents meeting their grand-daughter. It wasn't even his responsibility to do any of this, it was just out of the goodness of his heart that he was still awake instead of spewed across the probably highly uncomfortable couch on the opposite side of the room and passed out like the slowly forming bags under his eyes told her his body would rather him do. After all, he was just a mortal last night; it probably took a toll on him.
"Mizuki," she let it roll off her tongue a few times before she decided, "it'll be Mizuki."
"Great," he sighed right as the nurse came in.
"OK, let's try breast feeding, shall we?" She inquired as she walked over to Kagome's bed.
"Alright," Kagome nodded as she balanced Mizuki in one hand as she pushed her garment down her shoulder with the other. She barely had her breast exposed before she heard a thud and glanced over to see that Inuyasha was up to his feet and looking anywhere but at her, she couldn't help but smile at how red his cheeks still got.
"I'm gonna go out… to where... everyone else is," he stumbled over his words before he made his hasty exist.
"He's cute," the nurse giggled, "it's hard to find good guys nowadays, if you don't mind me saying, it seems like your pretty lucky."
"I am," Kagome gleamed back without really thinking.
But… wasn't she? All of this would have happened whether or not Inuyasha managed to get through the well, so wasn't she lucky he had? Wasn't she even luckier that he stayed all the while? Through her marrying another and even giving birth to the other man's child?
She was, she was certain of it.
..X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X..
"Everything's squared away," Souta chuckled as the three of them headed up stairs, "Mizuki is tucked away in her room for a nap and now you two can finally sleep, huh?"
"Yes," Kagome groaned when her heavy steps finally reached the top floor, her eyes were shut but she knew the way to her room without the need of sight.
"Oh, by the way," Souta chimed innocently as he slowly headed towards his bedroom, "since I'm back for summer vacation I'll be taking my room back, it is mine after all."
"What?" Kagome muttered as she pried her eyes open to stare blankly at her brother, "but where will Inuyasha stay, then? We're all out of rooms…"
"I thought that'd be obvious," Souta shrugged before he rubbed the back of his head and smiled all the more, "with you."
"What?!" The duo shouted, neither saw how that was obvious. Sure they'd slept together, many times, but… it was different when they both knew he had a room he could go to. It wasn't each and every night, either. There was an altered atmosphere knowing it was her room, what would it be like to know it was… their room?
"It's just temporary, if you want it to be," he mumbled the end to himself but it only got by his sister, he could tell from the quick glare he got from Inuyasha that he picked up on it. "Seriously, all will be fine. You two are—"
"You both are boys, why don't you just roll out a futon on your floor?" Kagome inquired with a cocked brow and folded arms.
Souta's shoulders sagged instantly, damn it, he hadn't thought of that… "my rooms too small for that," he lied as he pushed them both towards Kagome's, "you two will be good. You can roll a futon out on your floor, if you want."
"You know my room really is too small for that!" Kagome shrieked but she was the first one that Souta shoved into her room and she was far too tired to put up a struggle.
"Just be careful, Inuyasha," Souta whispered, covering his mouth so Kagome couldn't hear for certain, "she doesn't need to be having any other kids soon."
"Souta," Inuyasha stuttered with utter embarrassment spewed across his face, he had never done that with Kagome… did Souta think he had? Did that mean... everyone else did, too?
"It's alright, we've got stuff to protect that from happening, I'll tell you about it later," Souta assured with a wink and a thumbs up before he shut the door behind Inuyasha, to seal the two star crossed lovers in a room all alone.
"Well…" Kagome mumbled as her eyes moved around her earnestly tiny room, she just sighed and crawled into bed. "We'll deal with that later. I'm tired."
"Right…" he murmured as his he turned slightly.
"Where are you going?" She snapped rather sweetly, at that, "you're really tired, too, I can tell. You need to sleep, so you might as well… just come here. It's not like we haven't before."
"But…" before she was pregnant, before there was no chance of anything happening between the two, before there was usually a bulging belly in between them an no real intimacy but now…
Still, he ended up in bed with her and asleep as soon as his head hit one of her frilly pillows, just like she was.
..x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x.O.x..
Souta meant it when he told me he'd tell me about 'that stuff' later, and he did… gods, I wish he hadn't. Embarrassment was an understatement of what I felt when he was explaining to me what a 'condom' was and when and how to use it. I did not need to know that because… Kagome and I weren't more than friends, very closed friends, but that's it.
I loved her and I'm… kinda sure that she loves me, too, but that doesn't mean we'd do anything like that. I didn't necessarily need to… and even if we wanted to, which she obviously never did, we would never have the chance to. The house was full at all times and Mizuki was the center of all attention, and of Kagome's world, too. Everything pivoted around Mizuki, when Kagome slept, when she ate, when she did bathed, when she anything. I didn't mind, and at first I just watched from the side as all this went on before that day when Mizuki was only a few weeks old.
"Inuyasha, hold her," Kagome demanded rather abruptly as she held Mizuki out to me.
"What?" I gulped as I took the smallest of steps away.
"Hold her," she repeated with firmness and I honestly didn't think I had a choice. If I ran away from her request again I really think she might have told me to 'sit' which she hadn't done in well over six years—yes, I still had that damned necklace and hated it—and I planned to keep it that way. I never wanted her to say the word again, so I slowly took Mizuki into my arms in the most awkward of manner as Kagome went about doing whatever it was she wanted to. I guess rearranging stuff in Mizuki's crib. "You done?" I sped as soon as she stepped away, she looked at me rather blankly before she nodded and took Mizuki back from me.
"Sorry… you don't want to hold her, do you?" she mumbled with the most precious pout that it made me want to hit myself for being the cause of it.
"It's not that…" I assured her weakly, "it's just… I feel like I'll drop her or something so I hold her tighter but then I think I'll crush her or something…"
"Inuyasha," she laughed lightly, "you'd never do either of those things."
"I feel like I would," I retorted a bit bitterly.
"Don't worry, we're both starters at this, I don't really know what I'm doing either."
Right… 'us', why was it 'us' when Mizuki wasn't mine?
But... she smelled like mine, she really did and it drove me a little crazy. She smelled like the perfect mix between Kagome and I until I realized she didn't smell an ounce like a demon which meant she truly wasn't mine, contrary to my body's belief with every whiff.
The summer went on, and most of that was spent in the Higurashi's home. I never realized how small and confined it felt until the month went by that Kagome refused to leave with Mizuki—she told me something about it being bad that for a new born to go outside because of a low 'immune system' or something like that. I had to run around some times or else I would have gone mad.
After that first month passed she still rarely left, besides to go to doctors appointments to make sure Mizuki was still perfectly fine. I don't really blame her, she's so small, after all, what could you do with her? I couldn't remember if Miroku and Sango's children were so tiny or if it was just different this time because I was… really attached, I was to their kids, too, but not like this at all.
Kagome didn't let up on making me hold Mizuki and I couldn't really argue with her when she requested it. She didn't ask anything else of me when it came to Mizuki, I never had to change her, I never had to bath her—though I'd give Kagome company while she did—or anything else like that. I got better at it, I guess, and each time I held her I felt something strange flutter in my chest. She wasn't mine but… I kinda felt she was.
That didn't happen until the second time I held her on the couch, at first I felt terribly awkward as she stared up at me blankly with her big brown eyes before she reached her hand out to grasp a chunk of my silver strands. I don't know why but I felt a click in my chest right then…
And slowly as the summer progressed I started to help Kagome without her asking me to. It just felt right.
I wanted to. I love Kagome and I… really care about Mizuki.
..X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X.o.X..
"Inuyasha?" Kagome whispered as she slid open the door to the hut that housed the well, her heart sunk at the sight of him staring aimlessly at it. Did he want to go through it? Did he want to leave…? She thought he was slowly growing fonder of Mizuki and she didn't know if she could sleep without him next to her anymore. Well, on the rare occasions that Mizuki allowed her to sleep, that was.
"Hey," he muttered back without looking over at her until he heard her close the door and walk down the old steps. Then he turned to lean against the well and show her what she had to know what was already in his hand.
"The shikon?" she mumbled as she looked from it to him, "you never used it?" She knew that, she knew he had it with him while he was there, but she felt like asking anyway.
"I didn't want to lose it," he replied as he jumped up a bit to just sit on the side of the well, "if that happened… I was worried I'd never get here to see you."
She nodded weakly before she walked all the way over to him, biting her bottom lip loosely all the while, "what are you doing with it now…?"
"I want to use it now," he stated sternly as he grasped it in his hand, "I think… I really want to use it to become human."
"Inuyasha?" She lightly gasped as she raised her hand to her mouth.
"I want to stay here with you and Mizuki for good. I want to stay… and it'd be easier if I stay as a human, right?"
"That's what you really want?"
He nodded firmly as his eyes locked with hers. That was truly what he desired; he never wanted to outlive Kagome or Mizuki, either so what didn't make sense about using the shikon to become a human for her? For them?
"I lov—" but he couldn't get his words out before he felt a pressure against his lips and a pair of arms wrapped around his neck.
She was kissing him, how long had it been since that last happened? Not since back in Kyoto… in other words, for what felt like forever.
Too bad, the gesture caught him completely off guard and off balance so he toppled over with her tagging along until he hit the bottom of the well with a thud.
His eyes had shut from the start and so did hers, so he squeezed them tighter before pushing himself off the ground, her still on him, "good job, Kagome."
"Sorry," she laughed as she pulled off of him only to continue to giggle at the result of her hasty actions.
"Oh, haha," he muttered with a sigh as his eyes wondered up the well to the top, that's when they widened. "Kagome…"
"Huh?" She sighed after her fit had finished, all glee faded from her face as she saw his shock and slowly she looked up but... she knew what she'd see before she did.
The orange sky as the sunset.
A/N: I updated~ Here's what the names meant, just an fyi.
Mizuki -beautiful moon, Natsumi - summer beauty, Takara - treasure, and Tsukina - moon and greens.
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