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2 chapters in one today, because the 2nd is rather short.

We fell into a rhythm, a way if being.

Isn't it always that way, though? Any relationship that lasts past a couple weeks has to establish its own way of being somehow.

We watched movies late at night a lot. Sometimes smoked and drove to Walgreens for candy late at night.

Lots of late at night.

We napped together a lot.

Well, that's a lie; he napped and I read. I was too hyper to sleep any time that wasn't night.

We went out to eat a lot. He didn't cook and I didn't really know how. Rose had taken to teaching me at home; she was one of those people with an instinctive knack for knowing what tasted good with what. She experimented and won. I attempted and failed. But she was patient with me.

Still, I wasn't confident trying to make anything Edward would actually have to consume so he and I just went out. He wasn't filthy rich but he had plenty of money. He was practical, rational, and logical, and all of those stodgy words that meant he was good with numbers and finances.

It helped he'd also been out of school for awhile, and had paid off his student loans.

So he had plenty while I was struggling through school, holding down a full time job at the same time.

"You pay your dues. I'll pay for dinner," he said.

And that was fine.

I liked the way he took care of me.

It wasn't typical gentlemanly type stuff.

He didn't open my door for me or pull out my chair. Sometimes he was still late, even though he'd gotten better. His bed was chronically unmade from sleeping and sex. There were blueprints and contracts covering the coffee table and multiple projects he had going in every corner. And tools, everywhere.

He wasn't clean cut and GQ.

But he got me. In the silences and the conversations, in the presence and the absence, he got me.

When I told him I'd finished reading a book I loved he'd gone out and found the sequel. Without fanfare. I found it in my messenger bag later the next day.

When we walked down the sidewalk he kept me on the inside, putting himself between me and the road. The only other guy ever to do that was my dad.

"Take a bath with me," he said, pulling himself up from the couch.

I almost didn't hear him, between the Isley Brothers album he had going and the latest National Geographic I'd found by his bed. Unable to resist the article on baby snow leopards, I'd curled up beside Edward and gorged myself on cuteness. The furrier, the better.

"Bella."

Sticking my finger into the magazine so I wouldn't lose my place, I looked up.

"Come take a bath."

"Oh." Forget baby snow leopards.

I followed him into his bathroom which, of course, was midway through remodeling.

He'd already started filling the tub with hot water. I shed my clothing, thankful for the steam misting out of the tub and how it helped lessen the chill in the air.

I heard Footsteps in the Dark start up again.

Edward joined me, his shirt gone.

"I like your scruff," I said, pressing my naked body against his partially clothed one.

"Yeah?" He smoothed his hand over my butt, cupping it before letting go.

"Yeah."

"I'll leave it then."

"Good."

He smiled a little and undid his jeans, letting them pool at his feet before stepping out of them. The only light came from the bedroom, and because I knew Edward and his quirky ways, I didn't bother asking for more.

He got in first. I climbed in after, careful to give him space so he could actually bathe.

Sexy, yes.

But practical. He had grease all over his arms from working on his truck earlier, and paint speckled his skin. I turned in the tub so I was facing him and grabbed another bar of soap so I could get clean too.

I imagined he would've been one of those Wild West types, rugged and strong and quiet. Rowdy in the sack. I could see him on a horse.

"What're you smiling about?" His voice floated across the water.

"You as a cowboy."

"I could live on the frontier, easily."

"I know you could," I said, smug on the inside because I'd thought as much.

"You could be my cowgirl. Assless chaps and all."

I laughed, thoroughly amused at the thought, and splashed him. "I could ride you."

"You can ride me now."

My smile dimmed, crowded by lustiness. "I could."

He yanked me over by the leg and turned me around so my back was to his chest, pulled me against him so we were both reclining back. I closed my eyes, breathing him in, loving how our skin felt slick and supple.

I startled, realizing we'd been dozing.

Edward's somnolence was contagious.

The water wasn't as hot as it had been and I shivered involuntarily.

"Edward." I detached myself and stood. "Edward, come on."

His eyes opened slowly like they always did. He gazed up at me, his arms draped loosely over the sides of the tub.

Oh.

I got out of the tub and grabbed a towel. I liked how he watched me.

"I want you," I said simply, getting his towel off the rack. "I don't care if you're tired."

"I want you too, cowgirl." He smirked as he got up and it took all of my will power not to drop to my knees and put him in my mouth.

Instead, I tossed him his towel and hung mine up.

My skin was wrinkly from having been in the bath for so long. I got onto the bed, thankful he'd finally fixed the heater.

He'd barely dried off.

Without another word he got between my legs and kissed me where he'd take me. I held his head between my hands and succumbed to how good it felt, how good he felt. I threw a pillow over my face when I came, wanting to muffle the sound of my orgasm. It was really hard for me to keep quiet and sometimes I didn't feel like wondering if the neighbors could hear Edward taking care of his girl.

He moved so that he was cradled between my thighs and snatched the pillow, sending it across the bed. He yanked away the one under my head too, preferring when I was flat.

"You feel good," he said as he loved me, and that was rare. He rarely, if ever, spoke during sex.

"You too," I said, spreading my hands over the expanse of his back.

He smiled, and caught my lip in his teeth, and kissed me, and I held him tight and kissed him back, kissed him and tongued him and kissed him some more, even when and especially when he came, the forces of his thrusts bringing my bottom off the bed.

"You okay?" he asked at the end, collapsing on top me.

I clung to him, reminding myself of the baby snow leopards riding their mother's backs during playtime.

"You make me okay," I purred, earning a quiet laugh from him.

"Good."

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked, running my tongue against the outside of his ear.

He shook his head away from my mouth, squeezing my hip as he got up.

"Just making sure."

"I'd tell you if I didn't like what you were doing," I said when he returned from the bathroom.

He nodded, lying next to me. "I'm glad. You used to be afraid."

"You intimidated me," I admitted.

"Why?"

"I don't know, you just did."

"I'd never hurt you."

"I know." I glanced at him, loving him in secret.

I wanted to go home for Thanksgiving, but I couldn't wing it financially. I'd be going home for Christmas instead.

Gone were the days of getting everything I wanted all of the time. Childhood is so damn fleeting. It takes forever when it's happening but as soon as it's over you realize how golden it was. How temporary.

I missed my parents, missed Phoenix. But I was, technically, an adult now. I had to work and earn my keep and pay my dues and stick to schedules.

Thankfully Rosalie had family in the Bay, so that's where Alice and I would be for Thanksgiving. Edward hadn't invited me to have dinner at with his family, and I hadn't asked. For some reason it didn't bother me. They were a close knit unit, and honestly, I really missed just spending time with my girls.

It was quite possible this was the most mature relationship I'd ever had. I trusted him. I didn't have to worry about who he was with or what he was doing when he wasn't with me. That wasn't something I could say about a few of my other past relationships.

As long as I spent time with Edward during Thanksgiving break I was straight. It wasn't like we didn't spend a ton of time together already.

It was all so easy.

Movement from the doorway caught my eye.

I glanced up, taking my ear buds out of my ears. "What's up?"

Alice nodded back toward the hallway. "Peter and Sean are here."

"Oh, okay. Cool." I detangled myself from my books and music and followed her into our living room, where Rose was talking with the boys.

"Bella," Peter said, standing up to hug me.

It was weird. He still looked good to me, and I could admit to myself that the attraction was still there.

But I no longer craved his presence, or cared about what he did. It was so freeing, and so nice to be able to appreciate his capacity to be my friend and just my friend. We'd hung out a couple of times in the past few months and it always felt the same: easy going. It was like, the good parts of our friendship were the only parts now, no bitterness because he didn't like me the way I wanted him to.

We'd always had a ton in common, and back in the day had spent so much time together that people at my job had asked if we were dating. I'd loved when they'd ask that, because I'd wanted it to be true. Things were different now, though. Healthier. Thank God.

"Hey, Pete. What's up?"

"I was gonna stop by Embry real quick –you wanna come?" he asked. "He's working on some of the tracks we laid down earlier."

"Sure," I agreed, shrugging.

Alice and I shared a look when Peter turned around and I left the room before I began laughing out loud. Seriously – everybody in the Bay was working on their album. Everybody, Peter included.

"So he's a nice guy?" Peter asked in the car, the afternoon sun making his skin look like caramel.

"Of course he's nice," I said, smiling. "I only date nice guys."

"What's his name?"

"Edward."

"Edward?" he snorted. "That's kind of… I don't know…"

"Yeah, okay Peter," I teased, not the least bit phased by his silliness.

"I'm just sayin'. Isn't he a lot older than you?"

"Who told you that? Rose?"

"Yeah."

"Did Rose tell you she's messing with his friend, who is also much older?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Ha, no she didn't. Nice." Peter shook his head, smirking. "Anyway, it's all good. Older women are great."

"Is that right," I hummed, smiling.

"Yeah."

We pulled up to Drew's. He looked at me and I looked at him and yeah - it was all good.

Rose had grown up in the affluent area of Walnut Creek. She had aunts and uncles and cousins spread out all over California and they all met at her parent's annually for Thanksgiving dinner. Alice and I were welcomed with love, laughter, food and wine.

Once we'd gorged ourselves we went for a long walk through the neighborhood, trying desperately to rid ourselves of the bloated feeling. It was nice and cold out and I breathed it in greedily, feeling very blessed with my life.

Despite our easy going agreement that we'd spend Thanksgiving apart Edward called me around nine, wanting to know what I was up to. It surprised me a little, but I found myself relieved. I'd been getting a little restless, not even knowing why, not knowing he was feeling the same way across town.

He said he'd be by to get me in about a half hour. I made rounds, saying my goodbyes, giving hugs and receiving leftovers to take home.

He came to the door to get me, and I left the warmth of Rose's childhood home for the warmth of Edward's truck. We kissed when I climbed inside; he smiled at me, affection apparent in his gaze. Edward wasn't too liberal with his words and he wasn't too effusive emotionally, but I'd learned how he communicated.

We drove home with the windows cracked open, letting in the autumn chill with its smell of burning. He stopped at a corner store to get another bottle of wine and we went home where we fooled around in his bed and I read him poetry in my panties. He teased me about my academic pretentiousness and bourgeoisie methods of flirting until I got to one poem in particular. That made him horny he said, and that was okay, so he touched me, teasing me now with fingers instead of words.

But he'd tricked me all along because he waited until I came and then whispered, his stubble scraping my cheek, his wet hands gripping my hips, "I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees."

he's quoting Neruda's Every Day You Play.

she's reading Carnal apple, Woman filled, burning moon

Carnal apple, Woman filled, burning moon,
dark smell of seaweed, crush of mud and light,
what secret knowledge is clasped between your pillars?
What primal night does Man touch with his senses?
Ay, Love is a journey through waters and stars,
through suffocating air, sharp tempests of grain:
Love is a war of lightning,
and two bodies ruined by a single sweetness.
Kiss by kiss I cover your tiny infinity,
your margins, your rivers, your diminutive villages,
and a genital fire, transformed by delight,
slips through the narrow channels of blood
to precipitate a nocturnal carnation,
to be, and be nothing but light in the dark.

Pablo Neruda