After getting kicked out of Magnus' apartment, Alec took a deep breath and headed back to the Institute. He kept replaying Magnus' words in his head and went back through the front doors. The group of mourners had broken up into a only a few remaining shadowhunters. Including a group made up of Clary, Izzy and Jace. When Alec got close enough, his friends turned their attention to him.

"Alec, have you…" Began Clary

"Before you say anything, I need to get something off my chest." Said Alec as the other three nodded, "I feel terrible about what happened to your mother. I know it wasn't me but it was my hands that did the act. I have so much guilt and it burns. I just want to apologize for what I did and to let you know how terrible I feel. I am so sorry."

"Alec, none of us blame you. I know you think we do, but we don't. I forgive you and I know the others do too. Just remember it wasn't you." Said Clary as she brought him in for a hug. The first hug I think they ever had. After she backed away, Jace also hugged Alec and reassured him; no blame was put on his head.

"So, what were you about to say before I interrupted you?" Asked Alec wiping away a tear that had formed when he was talking about his guilt. He wanted to change the subject after getting all that off his chest.

"Have you seen, Carly? She was acting strangely and ran out of the Institute. She was hiding in this bathroom before she left. And when I opened the door…" Said Clary opening the bathroom door to reveal the mess inside. Isabelle and Jace had already seen the interior, but Alec had not. As he took a step inside he saw the broken mirror, blood and bloodied toilet paper.

"I saw her at Magnus'." Said Alec turning to face his friends.

"Wait, really?" Asked Isabelle

"To clear my head, I went to Magnus' so I could talk to him. After a chat, there was a bang at the door. I readied my bow as Carly came running in. Magnus helped her to the couch and kicked me out, saying that Carly didn't want me to see what he was helping her with. But as I was pushed out the door, I noticed Carly was hiding her right hand in her sweatshirt pocket. I'm guessing the hand she used to punch the mirror." Said Alec

"We should go get her." Said Clary

"I say we leave her be." Said Isabelle

"Why?" Asked Clary

"If she's with Magnus, she is safe. Besides, if she doesn't want us to know then we shouldn't pry. When she get's back to the Institute then you can talk to her." Said Isabelle as the group silently agreed. Clary was a little hesitant but knew prying wouldn't help.

I made my way to the lobby and got stuck in my thoughts. Magnus might be able to find something but there's also a chance he doesn't. I could go dark and I really don't want to do that so I try out my only other option. I take a taxi to the Hotel Dumont and bang on the back door, "Raphael!"

"Have you finally decided to accept my offer?" Asked Raphael with a smirk.

"Do you know how to fix it?" I asked pulling my hand from my pocket to show him my veins.

"I might. Are you willing to let me help?" Asked Raphael with a smirk.

"Yes. Please." I said with pleading eyes.

"I have been a vampire for a little over 60 years, which has given me time to study up on history. There was a case hundreds of years ago of a man being experimented on with demon blood. They wanted to make him the key to ending the war his people were stuck in. These people believed if injected they could get super speed and strength. What they didn't know, were the side effects that came along with it." Said Raphael as he appeared behind me. I jumped as he whispered in my ear, "The eyes. The urges. The evil of it."

"Thanks for the history lesson but I actually need something to help me." I said shivering a bit as I crossed my arms across my chest. Raphael smiled as he walked around me so we were face to face once again.

"I wasn't finished. Once they realized what they had created, they tried to cure him. They needed a fighter; not a monster. So they tried everything from magic to medicine but nothing worked. As a last ditch effort, they started to drain the blood from his body. What they discovered, was that if drained of blood the symptoms from the demon blood vanish. They don't disappear forever but he became practically human for about a week." Said Raphael

"So, that's why you wanted to help me. You just wanted my blood." I said backing away from him. I grabbed for my blade, only to realize I left it at the Institute when I ran.

"Vampires cannot drink a demon's blood because it is like acid and the same goes for angel blood. But when you mix angel or demon with a human's blood, it's intoxicating or so I've heard. Angel/human tastes like fresh fruit and good. Demon/human tastes rich like a chocolate cake." Said Raphael licking his lips as he stepped forward.

"If you want allies, this is not the way to go about it. I would rather not be drained to a husk out in an alley at your shitty hotel. So, If you don't mind, I'm gonna leave." I said as I turned toward the busy street. I walked about two steps before Raphael appeared in front of me, blocking my only way out.

"Carly, you are one of the only shadowhunters I don't completely hate." Said Raphael as he walked forward and I backed up.

"That's because I haven't done anything to you that made you hate me." I said searching for any exit.

"That is true. As I said I help you, you help me. By draining your blood you'll become human for your last few moments and I get a tasty treat. I could take enough where you live and that should do the trick but I am not in the mood for half a meal." Said Raphael as his fangs extended.

"Come to your senses. You kill me, the Clave will be on your ass in minutes. Do you really want to break the accords just so you can get a meal?" I asked as I backed into the brick siding of the Hotel Dumont.

"If I killed you I think the Clave would thank me; one more knot in the chain untied. You are a freak and everyone knows it. I am just helping you get out of this." Said Raphael as he grabbed ahold of my chin, tilting my head to the side. I tried to push him off but fighting against a vampire was useless when you had no weapon. He closed in on my neck as I felt his hot breath on my skin.

Suddenly, his grasp disappeared and so did his breath. I opened my eyes to find Raphael on the other side of the alley and Simon between us.

"Little Simon, pretending to be the big bad vampire prince. You won't always be there to rescue her." Said Raphael

"Maybe not. But at least I can protect her now." Said Simon

"I won't be the only vampire or downworlder out there that will want to hunt you, Carly. Watch your back." Said Raphael vanishing. Once he was out of sight Simon turned around and ran to my side. He looked me over to make sure I wasn't hurt then pulled me in for a tight hug.

"What were you thinking coming here all by yourself?" Asked Simon in a worried tone.

"It was nothing, okay." I said pulling away from his hug. I turned away and hid my hand back in my pocket.

"What's wrong?" Asked Simon

"Nothing." I said stepping back only for Simon to pull me forward.

"You're lying." Said Simon

"No, I'm not." I said

"Whenever you lie, you tap your finger against your thigh. And that's what you're doing right now." Said Simon as we both looked down to see my finger tapping on my thigh. Once I noticed it I stopped immediately and then he repeated himself, "What's wrong?"

"Why do you care so much?" I asked

"I care because I'm your friend and all that crap that just happened with your mom and Jace is hard. I don't like to see you hurting, alright." Said Simon

"Well, then stop caring. Caring for me will just make things worse for you. So stop. When I go dark side, I don't want to pull you down with me." I said

"I'm not going anywhere, even if I get pulled down with you." Said Simon

"Why? Why would you risk your life for mine?" I asked as I looked up into his eyes.

"Because...Because I love you." Said Simon as he grabbed ahold of my face. I didn't know what was happening until his lips were upon mine. He wasn't rough or attacking, but light and feathery. His lips danced on mine, being as light as possible so he wouldn't hurt me. When he finally backed away, I was out of breath.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that. I should go." Said Simon backing up

"Simon, wait…" I said as he vanished.

I ran around the corner but he was gone. I looked down the other side of the street as my arm started to burn, and I mean burn. It felt like someone had ignited my arm with gasoline. I pulled up my sweatshirt sleeve to see my veins grow about an inch. Making it now halfway to my elbow. Then the feeling of flames extinguished and the pain stopped. I pulled my sweatshirt sleeve back down as I called for a taxi. Minutes later, I was at the Institute's front doors and Clary was right behind.

"Where have you been?" Asked Clary

"I was at Magnus'." I said pushing past her. I made my way to my bedroom as she followed close behind. Once I got to the door, ready to go inside she spoke up once again, "I saw what you did to the bathroom."

"I got angry and punched a mirror, no big deal." I said opening the door, only for Clary to close it.

"It is a big deal. I know everything that just happened is hard on you, and I want to help. I lost mom too and I might not have demon blood but I can try to understand." Said Clary with pleading eyes. She was trying to be nice and help but me being me, I declined.

"You will never understand, Clary. I'm not you who shares and cries. I bottle everything up inside till I explode. That bathroom mess was me exploding. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get some shut eye." I said entering my room and closing the door. But right before I got it closed, Clary put her foot in between the door and the frame, "What now?"

"I'm not going to ask to help you again. If and when you need someone to talk to, I'll be there. Did Magnus heal your hand?" Said Clary

"No, I wanted it to heal on it's own." I said still hiding my hand in my sweatshirt pocket.

"Great. That's good. Before I go, Max is having his celebration for finally getting his first rune. Alec is organizing the party and it'll be at Magnus' tomorrow night. You don't have to go but maybe it'll distract you for awhile." Said Clary

"I'll think about it." I said as she finally let me close the door. I locked it behind me as I belly flopped onto my bed. I flipped over so I would be on my back as I got consumed by my thoughts.

Darkness within me is growing, my best friend just kissed me and now I have to get ready for a party tomorrow evening. Wonderful...