Authors Note: Hi again, this is my first story, so please be gentle! This story isn't perfect, and unbeta'ed. Mistakes are my own. I don't own Twilight or anything relating to it but I do love to read these stories, and now write a bit of them too :)

I am so sorry for the length of time that this has taken me to get this up, it's actually ridiculous and I really do apologise. I promise it won't be that long again! I have a few chapters in the final stages, so I promise it won't be too long. Aiming for next Tuesday :)

Just to reconfirm, italics with no quotation marks are the persons own internal thoughts. Italics with single quotation marks are internal thoughts from someone else, that Edward can hear.

As always, lemme know what ya think.

*drops mic*

~ Chapter Ten ~

Edward

The small dot of red on the horizon was the first thing that had caught my attention in a long time. As the cloud mist slowly lifted, that small red dot glowed brighter and brighter, pushing its way into the sky. Red streaks of light seemed to scorch the dry, windswept, and seemingly endless scrub of the harsh mountainside, engulfing every valley and ridge as it went. Finally, the entire sky and the surrounding forest below were bathed in a shimmering luminescent red. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen a sunrise of such magnitude.

I took a slow breath in before rising to my feet, my limbs tingled from misuse, and I took my time shaking out each one, it felt strange to be conscious of my movements. Shuffling backwards until I came to rest against the cool rock face, I watched as the sun moved higher in the sky and the vivid red slowly receded into spun gold, coating everything as far as the eye could see.

It was the dawn of a new day.

As the sun chased the last of the shadows away, I stretched and rolled my shoulders a few times to loosen them up, then swept my gaze over the open land. It was time to move, time to go home. But where to start…Down the mountain, I mused, chuckling softly. I slowly made my way to the cliff edge to start my decent when the sun caught the dirt covered skin of my hands, cutting my chuckle off abruptly. My hands glimmered in the soft morning light. I stood, transfixed by the patterns and colours and let my mind drift back to a time long ago when the love of my life had called it beautiful. The thought confused me and snapped me back to reality, how long have I been up here?

Since leaving Forks, I'd drifted in a daze, incoherent and drowning in memories of what felt like another life. I wavered between disbelief and denial of that part of my life being over. Every memory was like a knife dragging through my chest, but I couldn't stop them coming, part of me didn't want to stop them. No matter how much it hurt, the pain reminded me that it had actually happened, and it hadn't been a figment of my imagination. I had been loved, no matter how briefly.

I palmed my chest, trying to rub out the pain that pulsed once again, and tried to distract myself from my thoughts. As if on cue, a scorching burn ripped up and down my throat. I needed to hunt. I hadn't fed often since I had left Forks, only when the thirst would get too much that, without thinking, I would drag myself down the mountain until I crossed path with a goat or something equally as unsatisfying to drain, before returning to my nook in the rocks.

I had no idea how much time had passed, it had been so long since I'd actually focused my thoughts, but I guessed it would have been a few years at the very least... Guilt welled up when I realised that not once had I even attempted to contact my family to let them know where I was. I knew Alice could see me, but Esme would worry no matter what Alice told her.

The first thing I need to do is find my family, start where I left. Forks… A shudder rolled through me at the thought. Where would they be now? They couldn't possibly still be in Forks. I imagined they would have waited at least until she was married, they would have wanted to be there for her, stand by her on her day. They may have even stayed until she had her first child… But as soon as the questions started on why no one looked any older, and why the 'teenagers' hadn't moved on to college, or at the very least left home, I knew they would need to leave. It was the same old story wherever we went.

With a vague plan in place I started my decent from the mountain, taking my time. Hours later I hit the foothills and came to a halt at the forest edge, I let my eyes drift shut as I took in the sounds and scents around me. My senses were throbbing, growling to take over, to allow the search for sustenance to cool the raging fire in my throat. I took a slow, deep breath in and released it just a slowly, letting my control slip as the breath left my lungs and let my instincts take over. It wasn't long before I caught the soft, wet slug of a heartbeat off to my right. My body tensed in excitement and I was off.

Seconds later my teeth slid through the thick skin of an elk and hot blood spilled down my throat. Grunting with predatory satisfaction, I dropped the drained carcass and sniffed the wind, hoping to catch the scent of more. In record time I was draining my second elk, groaning in delight as the fire in my throat was extinguished slightly. I knew it wasn't enough, but I could hunt more on the way back to Forks.

Wiping my hand over my mouth as I stood over my feast, I felt a cool gust of wind wrap around the skin on my chest and shoulders. Looking down at the torn remains of my shirt and pants, I groaned when I realised I'd have to find something to wear before I attempted to return to civilisation. A small smirk lifted the corner of my lips at the thought of people, or Alice seeing me like this. Somewhere along the way, I'd lost my finesse in hunting. My clothes were torn and covered in dirt, grime, fresh and dried blood. The exposed skin of my chest and thighs were just as covered. Clothes. I definitely needed clothes.

With my next plan in mind, I left the carcasses, knowing no human would find them this far out, and started in the direction of where I thought would be the nearest town. I took my time, walking slowly through the forest and taking in my surroundings. It had been so long since I had taken notice of what was around me, it was a strange feeling knowing I'd come through this forest before and I couldn't remember the journey.

The sun had descended into late afternoon by the time I came across a ramshackle old hunting shack. The windows were all broken, vines grew across the roof and it was barely held together. Figuring there might be something inside that might be able to get me as far as the next town, I walked up the unstable porch steps and pulled at the broken door. With a pop, the hinges snapped off and the door fell away, showering me with an extra coating of dust and decaying leaves in the process. After carefully placing the broken door down, I shook off what I could before hesitantly moving over the warped floorboards and into the shack.

I scanned the small open living area, taking in the dusty table with a few broken chairs, an old pot belly stove with rusted-over pots and pans, a few unlabeled cans, a small chest and a thin musty mattress resting on the bones of what looked to be an old cot. From the smell of the place, there hadn't been humans here for years, if not decades. Not a single human scent remained in the place.

I made my way over to the chest and opened the lid slowly, careful not to break the grinding hinges. The chest was filled with old papers, a few more unmarked cans, and some dusty old clothes. Pulling out the clothes, I shook off the dust and found a dark pair of pants and an old chambray shirt. Despite the years they'd been sitting both seemed to be fine, apart from being faded and dusty. They would do.

Taking the clothes, I backtracked to a creek I'd passed earlier and stripped off. The water was arctic, but it felt good to wash the filth from my body and hair. I lay for a long time in the creek, staring up at the trees and letting the water swirl and flow around me, enjoying the peace and quiet. I knew the next town would mean humans and thoughts coming at me. That would be a challenge I wasn't looking forward to after years of silence, but I knew it had to be done. Hopefully I could still keep my control in check.

The waters constant flow soothed as I thought about what would happen after I'd reached the nearest town. Returning to Forks would be hard, especially if I couldn't find my family there, but worse than that would be seeing them together. It would be unbearable, excruciating, but I knew it would be inevitable to see some part of their lives, even just through others thoughts.

Maybe they'll want to come and thank me when they hear I'm back… My heart spasmed at the thought, although I knew I'd done the right thing, it didn't hurt any less. I needed to shut it all out while I was in Forks, to harden myself to the feelings that would no doubt try to cripple me. I would give no external indication as to what was going on inside, they didn't deserve to feel any guilt over me. Hopefully I would be able to convince Jasper with my stoicism, but if not, I knew he would keep my feelings to himself.

With the years alone, I'd had no reason to keep the wall up, but before I returned, my hard, impenetrable wall needed to go back up. I would not be at the mercy of my emotions in front of her, them or anyone else. I would make them all believe I had moved on. As if in agreeance, each swirl of water dragging past my prone form helped harden the wall, shifted the mask into place and indifference hardened my expression.

By the time I rose from the water, it was pitch black. With my resolve in place I shook myself off and pulled the pilfered clothes on. Despite the musty smell, they fit relatively well although they were a touch snug, but they didn't look half bad. My boots had held up over the years and they would do for the next few days at least, so I dragged them on as well. It probably wouldn't be best to turn up barefoot anywhere near humans. By now Alice would have seen my decision to head to the next town, and would be frantic trying to track down where that might be so she could get some type of message to me about where they were now. Hopefully that meant I could avoid Forks.

With a deep sigh and one last glance to check everything was covered, I said goodbye to the feelings I'd wallowed in for years and followed the forest west.

~o~

Great Bear Lake.

I could see the imposing body of water in the distance, and knew I was almost back in some type of civilisation; it was only a matter of time before I came across a community of some sort. A small dash of trepidation flowed through me again at the thought of coming in close contact with humans. Slowing my pace, I walked as close as I could along the banks of the lake until I reached the outskirts of what could barely be considered a town. Thankfully that meant not as many thoughts to deal with…

The closest establishment I could find was a red clapboard house with a wraparound porch that seemed to double as an airport. That's where Alice will leave me a message. Alice. I mentally decided to wait 5 minutes outside so Alice would have time to call through with a message for me, and briefly focused on the sign highlighting the town's name as Déline, so she could find the number. I paced as I waited, letting the soft thoughts of the man inside wash over me. It wasn't too bad considering, I could still push the thoughts out.

Finally 5 minutes had passed and I pushed through the last of the forest to walk up the steps of the house. There was definitely only one mind coming from within, no one else seemed to be around. I opened the door, the bell tinkling as the door brushed past.

"Can I help you, young man?" an old grey haired man addressed me from behind the counter, his eyes sweeping over me. 'Strange, kid isn't wearing a jacket out there and it looks like he walked in from the wilderness! Haven't seen eyes that chilling for a good long while, they look like cat eyes! Now where have I seen those before?' Ignoring his thoughts, I cleared my throat and softly asked "I'm expecting a message to be left here for me? Has anyone phoned through?" Startled from his thoughts, the man stroked his long white beard as he responded, "Not much call for that around here. What's your name, son?" "Cullen. Edward Cullen." "No, siree. No messages left here for you. Where are you staying, maybe a message it was left there?" The puzzled look on the old man's face as he mulled over whether he had heard of the newcomer in town, was enough to kick me into moving back towards the door; Alice had definitely not called. "No, no that's okay. Thank you for your time." Without a backward glance, I quickly exited the building with the soft questions from the old man thoughts trailing after me.

Strange, I must have caught Alice off guard I thought, well, at least I know where I am now. Where, was Déline. Well over four days drive home to Forks, but with no money or a passport with me; driving wasn't an option, so it would be a long run home through the deep of the forest.

Strolling slowly back into the wooded area, I waited to check the old man hadn't watched where I had gone, the last thing I needed was more curiosity and a mysterious 'man' disappearing into the woods. When enough time had passed, I weighed my options. Heading back to Forks was the only option I had from here.

I cast my eyes across the great lake and the small town for the final time, and checked my resolve. I was ready as I ever would be. My hard mask in place, I let a cold smile tilt the corner of my lips as I pinned my gaze to the direction of Forks. Without a glance back, I took off in the direction of home.

:) Next update should be Tuesday.