Note: Woehoee, next chapter, haha. I hope you like it! X.

Chapter 9

"You're sure this is okay?"

"We're doing nothing wrong, Catherine. We're friends and friends can have breakfast." Gil gave her a reassuring smile before she decided to turn her key and let them enter her house.

It surprised Gil how worried Catherine was about everything they did. After they'd decided to stop their romantic relationship, every single thing they did worried her. Weren't they growing back too much to the romantic level? Weren't they encouraging each other to re-evaluate their relationship status? Everything they did, seemed odd. Both were still in love, and knew it was hurting to spend time together. But they couldn't let go.

"So, you want me to make something? Or you wanna make your famous eggs?"

Gil could already tell she was way more interested in his eggs and chuckled. "I think you've already made decision. And I'm perfectly fine with that."

She smiled. "You wanna wash up first or something?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm good, I'm good. You do so, I'll make us the food while you're upstairs."

Catherine got downstairs fifteen minutes later, wearing a pair of jeans and a wide black sweater, her hair up in a ponytail. Gil thought she looked absolutely breathtaking. "Hey! Your timing is perfect."

"Well, good. I'll grab some plates. Let's eat on the couch though, I'd like to watch some television."

They got settled on the couch two minutes later. Gil chuckled when Catherine took her first bite, a look filled with delight gracing her face as she swallowed it. "You've outdone yourself again, Grissom, this is delicious!"

"I'm glad you like it."

They ate in silence while watching an episode of an old detective series. Even after finishing their breakfast, they kept their seat on the couch, indulged in the show they were watching. Catherine automatically scooted closer to Gil, wanting his warm body closer to hers. Gil didn't tell her to stop either. She ended up with her head on his chest, his hands wrapped around her body. "Gil… This isn't the way friends have breakfast, is it?"

He knew she was only stating the obvious, but he answered nonetheless. "Maybe it's not. But this is the way you and I have breakfast and watch television. And that's perfectly fine."

Both fought the urge to let their lips collide, trying to purely enjoy the contact they were having at that moment.

"Didn't I tell you to leave?" Catherine came down twenty minutes later, not even surprised to find Gil still on her couch.

Her sharp voice interrupted him from continuing to think about one of their many breakfasts in the fast. "Yeah, well, I figured you'd have some time to cool down and perhaps you'd be able to talk to me now." Gil's hopeful eyes looked at the woman next to him. She looked fresh. Her hair was still wet and her face shoed no traces of make-up. She was beautiful.

Catherine shook her head as she disappeared in the kitchen. She'd indeed cooled off, but still didn't feel like talking to Gil. The man was still following her though, ending up in the kitchen behind her as he said: "Cath… I'm sorry. I think I know what you're so upset about and I understand. I'm sorry."

She turned around to find Gil close to her, looking genuine and frankly, quite sad too. She couldn't get angry with him now, as a small sad smile appeared on her face. "I'm not sure if you really do understand… But I appreciate the apology."

"Tell me what I don't understand then." He sounded determined and the look in his eyes surprised Catherine. She narrowed her eyes as she replied: "You tell me what you understand first, then."

Their bodies were almost colliding, feeling each other's body heat. Catherine stepped away before their bodies touched and said: "Well… Tell me." She turned her back to him, trying to steady her breath again after feeling so close to her friend.

Gil scraped his throat, also affected by Catherine's closeness. "You're upset because I'm dating Sara. And I think you're mostly upset because I was the one who told you we shouldn't be dating because of us working together."

Catherine was stunned. Gil seemed dense sometimes, absolutely clueless. But apparently, some time to think had given Gil enough information to tie some loose ends together. She turned around, eying Gil suspiciously as she said: "Well, congratulations on figuring out my feelings, Gil Grissom."

The woman in front of Gil looked strong, confident. But Gil was aware of Catherine's disguise when she was upset, and he was quite sure that underneath that cover, she was still upset and sad. He spoke softly as he said: "So why didn't you tell me immediately?"

"Gil! When I told you there was something wrong between us you freaked and made nasty comments. Is it that weird I didn't tell you this?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I know… I'm sorry. But I know what was bothering you now and I think we should just forget about it and continue what we usually do."

"But I don't like what we usually do anymore, that's what got us in an argument in the first place!"
Her eyes were getting darker and Gil wasn't sure what to do anymore. He didn't want to hear Catherine tell him more about how she felt; he was afraid it would make him want to forget about the present and turn back time, fix the mistakes he made.

"I…. I think I should leave, Cath. I'll see you later at work, okay?"

Catherine wasn't sure what was happening. They were talking, apologizing and now he was trying to leave. She wasn't going to let that happen though. She rushed through her house, over to her parking lot where Gil was about to step in his car as she said: "Hey! Wait a minute… You're not leaving now that we were finally having a normal conversation."

"Cath…."

"No, no, you're not going to Cath me right now. You were right, I was upset because you're now doing something I thought you would never do. Not only because you told me it was inappropriate, also because I hoped it would hurt you just as much as it would hurt me! What if I would start dating, I don't know, Nicky? You wouldn't be too happy about that either, would you? Can you imagine how this feels for me? You dating a co-worker, even though you told me that was impossible back in the day, a decision that still upsets me every single day?"

Catherine had uttered those words without thinking. The last thing she'd told him caused her hand to fly up to her mouth, immediately regretting telling him those words. Now, he would be asking more. And then she would have to tell him eventually how she felt. How she still felt after all those yours.

It took Gil a few seconds to process Catherine's words, surprised when he realized those last words. He closed the door of his SUV again and said: "Let's go back inside for a bit."

"No, no.. It's okay. You go. Leave, it's all good."

"No, it's not." Gil was almost pushing Catherine back into her house until they'd reached her couch. They sat down together and Gil slowly said: "So… Please explain me what exactly is going on with you."

His words were tender and sweet and it almost made Catherine cry. She knew that instead of anger, she soon would be telling him what she'd been trying to hide for years now. "I'm not so sure if that's a good idea though."

Gil gently grabbed her hand, stroking it, hoping to encourage Catherine to say whatever she needed to say. He wasn't sure why he wanted to hear the words she had to say so badly. His head told him to walk away, but his heart insisted on staying, listening to his best friend and comforting her. "You know you won't scare me away, right?"

"You already were away though." Catherine bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes as Gil said: "I'm sorry… I know things have been odd between us. But I'll do everything to make things better, I promise you, regardless of what you're planning on telling me."

"You're not gonna like this though… You're not going to like me telling you that I… That I hate that you're in a relationship with Sara… Because I still love you. And that I hate that you're doing with her what you wouldn't want to do with me. That you care more about her, then you've ever cared about me."

The tears fell down her cheeks now, not caring anymore about the fact that Gil saw her cry, or the fact that he now knew about her feelings. She really didn't care anymore.

Seeing the tears falling down Catherine's face broke Gil's heart into billions of little pieces. Not only did a crying Catherine hurt him too, her feeling that he didn't care about her hurt him too. Everything she was thinking, was wrong. She'd always been the one he cared about the most. The woman he loved the most. The woman he would've loved to have spent his life with for the past twenty years. If only he hadn't been so scared…

"Don't… Don't say those things. You… You shouldn't say things that are not true."

He brushed away the tears falling from her face gently as she said: "I…I don't get it."

"You're the only person I've loved for the biggest part of my life. The only woman I've loved since I met you. There isn't a person in this world I care about more than I care about you."

His words slowly dawned on Catherine, not quite understanding what he meant. Gil loved her. He cared about her. Yet she wasn't the woman calling him honey out of his living room. "Then why are you with her, and not with me?"

Gil wanted to explain. Tell her he'd been scared of ruining their friendship. That he'd been scared of pretty much everything. He wanted to say those words but they were stuck in his throat. Instead, he decided to act on instinct. His lips slowly crashed down on hers, capturing hers gently, hoping she would respond.

Catherine wanted to push him away and ask her what he was doing. Telling him to explain first instead. But she didn't. His lips felt too good and her need for him was big. That was why she responded without doubt to his kiss, allowing his hands to slide down her hips as hers entangled in the curls at the back of his neck.

Note: And their first kiss is history now too. Hope you enjoyed it! X.