Ten Reasons Why
Summary: An algebra assignment, a three leaf clover, an air freshener, a prescription bottle, a Star Wars trading card, a bottle cap, a tube of lip balm, a toy car, a photograph and a roll of candy. These are the ten reasons why…
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Teen Wolf, London however is all mine.
Letter Number 9
The clock haunted him at this point in time, it was getting late and Stiles was starting to seriously consider putting the letters in the box and waiting until morning. That seemed to be the most logical idea but Stiles was so close to the end that giving up now would just be silly. There were only two letters left, how much longer could it actually take to finish two more.
Then again, even if he could somehow manage to pull himself away from the letters, that didn't mean he'd be able to turn his mind off long enough to actually let sleep take over. Thoughts of what the last two letters could possibly contain took over and now there was no way he was just going to be able to ignore them, to leave them until daylight, especially not after the dropped bombs from the earlier letters.
Taking a firm hold of his scissors, he sliced the envelope with the number '9' marked on it open and slipped the letter out, letting it rest on his thigh. He grabbed the trinket envelope with the number corresponding to the letter and easily slid his blade across the top, freeing the item from inside its paper cage.
When he pulled it out, Stiles found himself staring at a photograph, an old school selfie, of him and London, well, their faces anyways. He remembered the exact moment of the picture, nothing on the journey to the lacrosse field had been photograph worthy so the two of them had taken a seat on the bleachers, a blanket of silence draping over them.
There wasn't anything super special about the picture that he could lay his finger on, except for her smile. London had shown up at his house one afternoon with a disposable camera and demanded that they finish the roll of film. It wasn't supposed to be a hard task, there were only about five left according to the number on the counter but London had insisted that they had to capture perfect moments in time and nothing less.
Stiles hadn't been expecting her to latch onto his wrist and pull him outside, leading him away from his house and towards the lacrosse field at the school a few blocks away. The journey had been half the fun, London had pointed out various things that would potentially make a decent photograph but they hadn't been able to agree on one specific focus, the counter hadn't moved the entire way.
He had taken the camera from her grasp and before she could argue, he shoved his body against hers, held the disposable camera out in front of them and had poked her in the side with his free hand eliciting the gigantic smile forever memorialized in the picture.
Stiles hadn't seen the resulting picture yet but there was something about it, something clearly very special, that brought a smile to his face.
Studying the photograph that he held gently in his hand, he tried desperately to figure out what was so extravagant about the two of them. He had spent hours upon hours hanging out with the girl but this picture, this captured moment in time, made his chest swell with pride.
London's face was right next to his and there was a radiating smile there that caught his attention and held it. Prying his eyes away from the photo would be a hard thing to do. His heart picked up in speed and his eyes locked on hers in the picture. She looked happy, genuinely happy and here it had been caught on film, was that what was so special? Was that the reason why he felt like he was lucky just to even know the girl?
He ran his thumb down the edge of the photo and felt his muscles tense. Was this the only evidence that he had of London being truly happy?
He made a mental note to try to capture her gorgeous smile with his phone any time that he possibly could. If they turned out anything like the photo he was looking at now, Stiles would forever find himself smiling at the image of London being happy, especially now that he knew what she had been going through for the entirety of their friendship.
Fighting against himself, Stiles managed to rip his eyes away from the photograph, away from London's beaming face. He settled his gaze on the letter, which resided against his leg. Still holding the photo in his hand, Stiles lifted the letter up and unfolded it, tucking the picture behind the paper of the letter in his grasp.
Dear Stiles,
It's amazing how far technology has come...
When I was little I used to grab hold of the photo albums lying around the house and I could spend hours just looking at pictures and trying to figure out what was going on in the photo. I would make up stories to go along with the ones I had no idea about and pictures with me in it were often used for sparking memories.
My mom loved looking at the albums with me, she could reminisce for days if you let her and hearing some of the funny stories about me when I was little were definitely enlightening. I was an entertaining toddler, that's for sure. The best pictures were the ones of my mom and I, honestly nothing will ever be able to beat those moments, those perfect moments, captured on film, forever holding a split second in time.
So tell me something Stiles, when did everything change?
Now I'm not talking about growing up and getting older, what I'm talking about is why are photographs in this day and age, meaningless, essentially.
I go on facebook, twitter, Instagram and all I see are selfies or pictures of food. Where have the important moments gone, the ones that tell stories, the ones that mean something?
I'm not saying that everyone should stop taking pictures, to each their own right and who am I to judge. If taking pictures of food and whatnot makes other people happy, good for them. I'm just saying, what happened, why are there not more photographs still being printed or framed, why does taking a snapshot involve so little effort that people spend time capturing dinner plates or desserts when they could be out there enjoying life and being happy?
What kind of world are we living in where our most precious memories are brushed to the side for a picture of elaborately placed food instead?
No one makes scrapbooks anymore, they don't get their films developed, they don't put pictures in albums to look at years down the road.
Tender moments have been replaced with multiple shots of the same thing over and over again until the 'photographer' gets it just right.
I miss the days where you took your chances, you pushed the button, the shutter went off and you didn't get to see the actual photograph until you went to the store and paid someone to develop the pictures. It didn't matter how awful someone looked in a photo, there was no easy way to get rid of the evidence. There were stories that went along with each photo, a memory; whether it be happy, funny, sad, devastating, something always went along with a picture.
Honestly, those were simpler times, better times in my eyes. Where did we go wrong?
If you've opened the gift envelope, you should already know that letter number nine is about the photograph of you and I and the story that goes along with it.
You probably remember what happened that day but you don't know the confluence of events from my perspective.
Yes I showed up at your house with a disposable camera that I had found and demanded you join me for a photography session but you don't know that the reason I had come across the camera is because I was desperately trying to find where my mom had hidden my laptop.
It wasn't out of malice, she was actually doing me a favour. I had gotten pretty bad around that time, the depression had kicked up a notch, and every time I logged onto my laptop I always ended up feeling worse about myself so she had taken it away.
I wanted to get online, to send an email to my counselor and tell her that I had to reschedule for our next session (that was a lie Stiles, I really just didn't want to go), so I had begun to search for my laptop and instead of finding my personal computer, I ended up finding a box full of fun things. In addition to the disposable camera, I also found a pair of booties from when I was a baby, my birth announcement, a journal I had written when I was seven and a number of other incredible memories. Needless to say, the box made me feel slightly better about myself, at least for the day.
When I laid my hands on that camera though, a smile spread out on my lips and I couldn't even begin to imagine what was on it. My eyes lit up when I looked to the picture counter and noticed that there were still a few photos that needed to be taken so I shoved the camera in my pocket and took off for your house.
I knocked on the door and you answered. It took every ounce of self-control not to just snap a picture of you right then and there, so instead I fished the camera out of my pocket and handed it to you.
"What's this?" You asked me and I'm pretty sure I laughed. Come on Stiles, anyone could see it was a camera, you're not that ahead of me in the technology race.
"It's a disposable camera, come on, let's go on an adventure!"
I waited for a few seconds for you to throw on your shoes. If you had plans with someone else that day, you didn't say, you just walked out of your house behind me, my hand wrapped around your wrist as I dragged you into the wonderful, beautiful world all around us. I had a goal.
"London, seriously, what's up?"
"There's still pictures on it Stiles, I don't want to waste them!" I didn't, I hate being wasteful, which is kind of funny (not in the joking, happy kind of way) considering I wanted to kill myself. Talk about being wasteful, right?
"So, do you have a plan?" You always seemed to think things through more than I did. My plan was to be spontaneous, can you plan to be spontaneous? Probably not, but that's unimportant, I will admit that I didn't really have a plan, all I knew was that I wanted to hang out with you and take pictures of beautiful things around me.
"If you find something picture-worthy, you let me know." Those were my half-assed instructions.
Eventually you wiggled your arm out of my grasp but then you took hold of my hand, our fingers intertwining together. If I had been paying more attention, been slightly more focused on you and me in that moment, I might have realized exactly what you had done. It wasn't just you taking my hand Stiles, it was you, holding on to me so that we could have an adventure, together.
"Well I think your idea of picture-worthy and my idea of picture-worthy are probably different." Oh Stiles, you were partially right. You're ideas of picture-worthy were immensely different but what you didn't know was that anything you thought was deserving of being captured on film was most certainly enough for me.
"Just keep your eyes open." I grumbled but we walked along the sidewalk, hand in hand, my eyes were scanning the environment around me, you, I assume, were doing the same. It was only comfortably silent for a few minutes before you pointed to your right.
"Old man walking his old dog!" Stiles, the look on your face at the sight of that old, decrepit man walking along slowly behind the grayest dog I've ever seen, well, to put it nicely was hilarious. You got so excited about that man and his dog.
Little things thought right? I totally get it now.
"It has to tell a story Stiles, it can't just be something random." I wasn't totally right, random things sometimes are the best. I should have let you take the camera, I should have let you capture that old man and his old dog. If it would have put a smile on your face time and time again, I would have let you take pictures of nothing at all.
"I'm sure he has a story."
"I'm sure he does too but that's not something I can tell my kids one day when they're looking at the pictures that I took on this camera. It has to be a story I can tell, a story that will bring back the memory of how and why the photo came to be."
"And you can't just tell them this story, the one about how you showed up to my house and dragged me out the front door so that I could help you take pictures?"
"That's not very exciting." I shouldn't have argued, I should have just taken the picture and given it to you, looking back on it now I should have filled the remaining pictures with anything and everything that you pointed out.
"Okay fine."
And that was that. We continued to make our way to the lacrosse field, you pointed out interesting (yet not photo-worthy) scenes but there was nothing that I agreed with. I'd point things out too but you'd easily talk me out of them. We went back and forth like that the entire way and finally we made it to the bleachers.
The field was empty, there wasn't anyone in sight but that's how I liked it. Spending time, just you and me, was the best thing ever this summer. Thank you for that, thank you for wanting to spend time with me. I really do appreciate it, even if you think that it wasn't a big deal, it meant the world to me.
So there we sat, side by side in a comfortable silence, just looking out at the vibrant green grass, basking in the warmth of the summer sun.
"Let me see that." You broke the silence and without even thinking about it, I handed you the camera. I didn't know what you were planning and I didn't think you were going to take a picture but you did.
You readied the camera in front of us, your arm stretched to the max, and you shoved your body against mine. Before I could object, you poked me in the side and I let out a laugh, a smile gracing my face. It was at that second that you pushed the button on the camera, forever encapsulating that exact second on film.
See Stiles, this is what I like about photographs. They're proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect.
When I got the pictures developed and I saw that one of you and I, I just, I swear to god my heart stopped. I don't remember having a smile that genuine, that big, in a long time and it was all thanks to you.
So even though I was depressed and fighting with myself constantly, there was a reason for me to carry on, a reason for me to wake up and get out of bed. You were one of those reasons, you cared about me, you cared about my well-being, my feelings, you wanted to spend time with me, you kissed me, you liked me. My mom, my family, the possibilities that lie ahead, those are some of the other reasons to get up in the morning.
Do you understand it now though, because I do. It took me a while to figure it out but I got it.
Everyone's just looking for reasons to wake up and get out of bed, some do it for nothing but a kiss, perhaps a cup of coffee, others have a harder time; no train to catch, no hand to hold, no reasons at all but if you can pull yourself out of sleep and make yourself get out of bed, there's nothing in the world that can hold you back.
Thank you, a thousand times over Stiles, thank you so much for making me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. You made me move forward, you gave me hope, you put happiness into my life.
Remember, no matter how you're feeling or what you're dealing with that you have to move on, somehow. You just pick your head up and stare at something beautiful like the sky, or the ocean, or an old man and his dog, and you move the hell on.
Find what makes you happy, and if you can't do that, find what makes you get out of bed in the morning.
Love always,
London Lee Parker
Stiles quickly folded the letter back up, slipped it back into the envelope and stared at the photograph in his grasp. He knew that he'd never get tired of looking at it, her smile was contagious and he couldn't help but grin at the sight.
Relaxing into his pillows, Stiles let out a sigh of contentment and shut his eyes momentarily. He took a deep breath and let his mind just drift to London. The image that he saw in his head was nearly identical to the photograph. No matter what happened, no matter how London was feeling, he'd forever and always remember her as the happy, smiling, gorgeous girl in the picture, a picture that he silently vowed would wind up in a frame, just as soon as school was over and he made it to the mall to purchase one.
London deserved to be framed, to be put front and center on his nightstand in his room.
With one last letter left, Stiles couldn't fight back the smile that would be present on his lips every single time he looked at the photo of the two of them.
Soon enough, London's words would be read, the last letter folded up and put back in the box with rest. The last gift would be opened and Stiles would be able to finally climb under the covers and sleep.
Soon enough, Stiles would reach the end of the box and now he wasn't entirely sure he was ready for it.
Not long ago, he couldn't have waited until the last letter was read but now he didn't want it to be over, there was so much more he wanted to know, so much that London still had left to tell him.
With one single letter remaining, Stiles settled into his pillows, looking once more at the photograph in his hand. It would all be over soon and Stiles didn't know if he was prepared for her final words.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Author's Note:
There are not enough words to express how amazing each and every one of you are! Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback!
If any of you are having a tough time with anything along the lines of depression or other mental illnesses, I'm always open to talk. I know it can be difficult, I've been there before.
PassionForWritingAlex: While I have nothing against Malia, this character London fits with Stiles. I feel that they need each other in their lives and they balance each other out in a perfect way. You can tell me whatever you want lol, I always love hearing from you and your reviews definitely make me smile (little things right haha) I'm glad that you're learning...I guess lol, I don't want to preach or anything but I feel that London has a lot of good things to say. Yes Miguel! She's depressed not blind haha!
poorxbrokexcollegexkid: OH you're making me blush over here! Thank you, as always, for the wonderful review! Only one more London letter after this one :(
winchesterxgirl: OMG yes! It's not a completed review without that ;) I'm so glad that you loved it and it means so much to me that you review and say the things that you do! Even if she's not ready for a relationship, she still had to express how important he is to her. She knows that he's amazing and he's clearly helped her in her battle. How did you enjoy 9?
Questions, concerns, ideas that you want to see, you know what to do, just leave me a review or a PM and I'll do my best!