i dont own The Walking Dead or it's characters.
I didn't realize I fell asleep until I had something nudge me awake. On instinct, I lunged my hand out at the intruder and was rewarded with a "Damnit! I was only tryin' to be nice!" from an angry redneck.
I looked over and saw Daryl, holding his nose, "Jesus man, how does a small girl like you manage to land a hit on me?"
"Aw," I say in false caring, putting my hand over my heart just to piss him off furthermore, "did the poor wittle wedneck get hurt?"
"Fuck off," he says jokingly, then leaves still holding his nose. I laugh to myself, and then the familiar boy with the sheriff's hat comes in, astonishment all over his face.
"What did you do to piss Daryl off?" Carl asks me.
"I punched him in the nose by accident," I reply and shrug. He seemed to still be incredulous by my actions. We leave the room. He leads the way while I follow him. We go outside, where Hershel is walking on his crutches.
"I forgot to ask," I whisper to him as we walk nearer to everyone, "what did happen to Hershel?"
"We had to cut off his leg after he got bit there," Carl said. I didn't say anything to him, because I started to get this bad feeling. It's an animal thing, but I feel like something really bad is about to happen. I look around everywhere, and see nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone here was happy about Hershel's recovery. Then why can't I shake this bad feeling?
"Something wrong?" Carl asks me. I shift my gaze to him, and notice he's a couple inches taller than me. I remember when it was the opposite, and now it seems the roles are switched. And we both are pretty short for our ages.
I was about to reply when I heard a deafening screech of metal hitting concrete. Suddenly, a whole heard of walkers came bursting through one of the gates.
"Everybody run!" I yell. I follow Carl over to his mom and Hershel and Beth. I look all around us, and see so many coming where we are. They just, appeared, out of nowhere. They weren't there when I looked before. Everyone took out their guns at the same time it seemed, and started shooting the walkers. Daryl tossed me a gun while he used his bow. I caught the handgun and turned the safety off and began shooting at them. I hadn't used a handgun in a while but it didn't seem to affect me as I shot the walkers in their heads.
"Come on, we got to go!" Carl grabs my hand I wasn't shooting with and took me along, following his mom. We all ran over to the stair and took them into the cell block. We ran inside until we were faced with more walkers. We turned the way we came and went through a different door. I locked the door so the walkers couldn't come in. Carl and I walk ahead, checking for walkers in any of the rooms in the dark and dank halls. We heard the sirens blaring in our ears, and I couldn't imagine how many more walkers were hearing it and coming here. We turn around a corner and Lori stops.
"What happened?" I ask Lori, she puts a hand to her stomach, and I already know.
"Were you bit?" Carl asks.
"No, no, no," Lori says. She leans up against the wall, and I try to help her in any way I can. "I think the baby's coming."
"What?" I ask. I already know the answer, and these kinds of things can't be controlled without any real doctors.
"Mom?" Carl asks worriedly. More walkers flood the hall and we are forced to leave.
"Come on, Lori, we have to go," I say, trying to help her walk faster away from the walkers.
"Carl," I say, "helps her, give me your gun so I can fend them off."
He nods and gives me his gun with the silencer. I use both of the guns with both hands and shoot at the walkers. They go down two by two, and my gun has no more ammo. I continue to use only my gun while we keep moving. Carl and Lori walk behind me, and I stay ahead, looking for a safe place to hide out for the moment.
Lori kept letting out groans and I knew she was going into labor.
"We have to stop!" Carl says to me. I finally find a room and tell them to go into it. It's the boiler room, I notice. I lead Lori down the stairs, helping her walk with Carl. She grabs onto chains and walls as if they were the only thing keeping her up. We hear growls and moans from the passing walkers. The noises increase, but then decrease, so I know they have past the boiler room we are in.
"What are those alarms?" Lori asks me, clearly trying to get her mind off of the baby.
"I don't know," I say honestly. "Come on let's have you lie down, OK?"
"Destiny, the baby's coming now," she says in between breaths. My heart drops. I'm not supposed to be the one doing this.
"Let's g-get back to the cell block so Hershel c-can help," I stumble on my words. I'm freaking 13; I can't help deliver a baby! I don't even know what to do! The only thing I know about it is what I've seen from when I saw my aunt give birth to my little cousin! And that was a wolf birth! Not a human birth!
"I'm sorry, but it won't wait any longer," Lori says, "it's coming now."
Lori breathes heavy, and Carl seems to freak out about it.
"What's she doing? Can't she breathe?" Carl says.
"Carl it's normal. Calm down," I say probably more for me than for him. My heart's beating out of my chest and my hands are shaking uncontrollably. "Let's, uh, take your pants off so…" I mumble.
I help her lay down on the ground and her brown hair lays askew around her face. I can feel the tension in the air and try to break tension.
"So Carl, you ready to help deliver your baby brother or sister?" I ask him with a shaky smile. He nods and tries to smile. "Well," I say, "this isn't how I pictured my first few days back with you guys."
We all laugh halfheartedly, and I go back to the job at hand, "I can't tell if you're dilated yet."
"I got to push," Lori says. Sweat lines her face, and I stand her back up. She holds onto a metal bar protruding from the wall and she pushes.
I check underneath and see that something's not right.
"Lori stop, something's wrong!"
Lori yells loudly, trying to listen to me, but it's hard for her. Carl and I help her lie back down. I give Carl a look, telling him to keep her attention on him and he understands.
"Mom, look at me," he takes her hand, "look at me, keep your eyes open."
I look at Lori's face and see that she can't hold on for much longer.
Your mom is going to die, I think to Carl, even though he can't hear me. should be thinking happy thoughts, to keep myself in check, but if this new world has taught me anything, it's to not keep your hopes to high or else you'll be shot down. This still makes me sad, because Lori was an overall good woman.
Lori can't focus her eyes on me, but I know she's trying to say something to me.
"I'm not going to make it," she gasps. I can see a tear roll off Carl's face from the corner of my eye. I feel sorry for him, and tears cloud my vision.
"We can get you back to Hershel," Carl pleads.
"There's not enough time, Carl," Lori says, looking at him with a shaky smile. She then turns her gaze back to me, "You need to cut me open."
I look at Lori with tear filled eyes now, "I can't do that, I don't know what I'm doing, I'll kill you if I even try."
Carl lets go of his mom's hand and stands up, "I'll go get Hershel-"
"No," Lori says harshly. He turns around, heartbroken, and comes back over to me.
"Look," I say, as calmly as I can manage, "I don't have any tools, training or anything-"
She cuts me off, "Carl has a knife," she says, trying to calm me down despite the fact that she's the one about to have a baby.
I glance at Carl, and his eyes widen in surprise. His hand goes to a sheath on his belt, the one where the knife is.
"You won't survive, though," I point out.
"My baby has to survive," she breathes, "please, at least try…"
"But," I say with tears.
Lori brings a hand up to my cheek, "You have to," she drops her hand to mine, and pulls it towards her stomach, "You see my old C-section scar?"
"Yeah? Why?" I ask her once I see the scar lining the bottom of her stomach. Why she asked me this dawns on me, "No, I can't do that."
"Yes you can," she says. She looks at Carl and me again, "look, I don't want you guys to be scared; I know it's hard, but you have to. I know we all would've preferred someone else to do this, Hershel, Carol, anyone, but I'm stuck with you," she doesn't say it accusingly, just matter-of-factly.
She gazes upon Carl, "this is what I want. This is right, Carl. Now you take care of your father for me alright? And your little brother or sister."
Carl shakes his head, "No, not without you," he says to her. "You don't have to do this."
"But I do," she said, "you're going to be fine, okay? You are going to beat this world, I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong and you are so brave. I love you."
"Love you too," Carl says tears dropping from his eyes religiously.
Lori brings a hand up to Carl and wipes tears from his eyes, "you got to promise me you'll do what's right," she looks off, "it's so easy to do what's wrong in this world. So if it feels wrong, don't do it, okay. Don't let the world spoil you," her voice breaks as she says the last part.
He nods his head in reply to his mom, not able to say any words. I couldn't either. There are no words to describe what's happening today. Not at all.
I feel awkward while they have their talk. It's so heartfelt and sad, and I'm the one who's going to end it. I let them talk, and I stay sitting on the cold ground. This is where Lori is going to die. This is where her life ends.
"You're my sweet boy, and I love you," she says finally and grabs Carl into a hug. The only thing heard in the room is our sobs. She lets go of Carl and he sits up, not close to being over what's about to happen.
"When this is all over, Des, you're going to have to end it, it can't be Rick," she says to me. How does she know to call me Des? No one here knows about that nickname. The only people who did were Adam and his group, and then Sophia. Everyone who dies knows it. I try to shush her because I don't want to do it. I couldn't. I take a deep breath, and stop myself from shaking as much. Carl hands me the knife, and I hold the blade in my hand.
"Goodnight love," Lori whispers quietly while staring at the ceiling. Who was that supposed to be directed to?
"I'm so sorry Lori," I say to her, and cut the knife across her C- section scar. Blood immediately pours from the new wound, and I Carl bursts into more tears. "I'm sorry," I say over and over, like a chant. "I'm sorry Lori."
She screams and shudders. Her eyes fade in and out. She falls into unconsciousness, and I reach into her body to find the baby. It's morbid, and I could never ever do this again.
"C-Carl," I stutter, "give me y-your hands."
He looks at me with absolute terror and surprise, but does what I ask. He pulls the skin aside while I reach into her stomach and I feel it. I feel the baby but can't tell whether it is the leg or arm. I try to pull it out as carefully as I can, and the baby comes out, covered in red blood. The baby doesn't cry, and I know something's wrong. I pat its belly, and it starts crying.
"Carl, cut the umbilical cord," I tell him with my eyes still on the newborn baby girl. Carl takes off his coat, and I wrap the baby in the jacket to keep her warm in this cold room.
"We have to go," I say.
"We can't just leave her here, she'll turn," Carl points out. I nod to him and he gets it. I pull out the knife, so I could do it, but Carl stops me.
"No," he says, pulling out his gun. "I have to do it. She's my mom."
I nod to him and leave him to shoot her. I can hear him saying a few last goodbyes only I could hear with my enhanced hearing and I feel like I'm eavesdropping. I hear a gunshot and jump a little at the loud noise. The noise echoes in the small boiler room and Carl comes out from it. He brushes past me and I follow him, holding the baby in my arms. We exit the halls and go into the cell block. No one was in the cell block, so we go outside. The sudden change in lighting makes the baby cry. We walk outside and see Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, Beth and Hershel. T-dog and Carol aren't there though.
Rick looks over and sees Carl and me, and his face is filled with relief. I close the door behind me, and he is curious. I already know what he's thinking, and he runs towards us. He drops the axe he had in his hands.
"W-where's Lori? Where's my wife?" he looks down at me, and I break into sobs again from the memory. He comprehends what happened without any words. Rick begins crying and goes into denial.
"No, no, no," he says in between sobs. Next to me is Carl, and I lie my head on his, crying into him arm. He's emotionless, and I look like an idiot crying on him, but I don't care. Lori is dead.
Lori is dead. I killed her. It's my fault.
I didn't know I was saying these words until Carl says next to me, "no it's not. You had to. I did too."
He says it no emotion, no comfort, no sadness. Maggie cries and Glenn holds her. Rick falls to the ground and huddles into a ball and cries the loudest of all of us.
Why can't we be happy for once? Is it too much to ask?
A.N.: Thia was an extremly long chapter for me. i didnt really want to end it earlier though. this chapter was really sad. i know i changed a huge detail with my character not helping with the childbirth but i felt like doing it like this. i'll probably get some hate for this because it was supposed to be Maggie but whatever. hope you can forgive me!