Broken Headboards, Power Panties, and Penis Charms

by Nyddi

A lonely man. The young, beautiful, obnoxious girl he swore to protect. Question is, how did he protect her from himself and everything that came along with him? E x B #REVAMPED #REPOSTED #NEWDETAILS #BPP

10. En Garde

Chapter 10

En Garde

(Not that it'll do you much good, Bella. But go ahead and try.)

---

***BPOV

"I'm sorry, Rose. I think all the trauma of this evening has fucked up my brain. Please run that by me again."

Rose scowled, her brow slamming down in that way that warned you not to go there.

But Alice never listened. So, I knew where this was going.

Was still too much in shock to try to even do anything to stop it.

"I accidentally lost my virginity to your brother. Emmett."

Yup, sounded just about as Earth shaking that time as it did the first.

"You fucked my brother?" Alice hissed, her hair falling loose and down her shoulders as she shook.

"I believe that is what I just said."

"Wha...How...You didn't even know my brother!"

"I do now."

Oh my God.

Oh my fucking God.

Emmett? Rose?

Fucking?

And she was still walking?

But...but...she'd been a virgin!

"Please...please explain to me...what the hell happened?" Alice asked. She leaned back, unfurling her legs completely.

Her feet were still in those black heels.

Fuck, look at us. All three of us dressed up in thousands of dollars. Each with just-fucked hair.

All of us attacked by one of them.

God? I second Alice's question. But I'm asking you. Thanks.

"I lost you two bitches because you both decided to leave separately. After me! So here I go, walking in first. Who's there?" Rose asks.

"Morrison," Alice and I said in unison.

There was only one person alive who inspired that much hatred on her face. The perverted, egotistic, drunk-on-his-power old professor had been after her for two years now.

He was disgusting.

She'd stab him in the jugular given the chance.

No. Joke.

Has the knife to do it with, too.

"Exactly. The fuck is doing his not-so subtle flirt thing. Grosses me out. I escape. Go wash hands. Come back out. Who do I bump into? This big motherfucker leaning against a pillar and looking like Rambo..."

"Oh God," Alice groaned, her hand coming up to rub her face.

I just kept looking between her and Alice with wide eyes and an open mouth.

I know, I know. Something was wrong with me. It was obvious.

"And Alice, I'm sorry but honestly? That man looks dangerous..."

"Oh, hell no, don't go there Rose..."

"And in that setting? Never. Never in my life saw that. So you have to understand how shocked I was..."

"Considering what you just came from doing I'm guessing that by shocked you mean your pussy woke up, bitch."

Rose actually cringed and whined. "Yes!" The word left her sounding so helpless my ass wanted to go find a place and hide.

Rosalie scared.

What the hell was happening to the world?

What did Emmett do to her?

"Rose...but he's my brother..."

"I didn't know that until after he'd shoved his cock in me!"

"Holy shit," I whispered, knowing that if I laughed Alice might kill me. But can you blame me if I said that a part of me really wanted to?

Alice held up a hand, her eyes looking honest to God dangerously wide. "I don't think I need to hear anything else right now. Nope. I just had crazy night. We all just had crazy night. So Rose, just do me little favor. Please? Explain it to me tomorrow."

Rose and I blinked at her.

She just stared back with that blank and scary stare.

Breakdown was imminent. If she didn't get herself together it was going to happen. We had seen it happen many times before. Had seen the sadness set in and watched her lock herself away from the world.

For days.

Sometimes weeks.

All in all, a lot less frequently than me the first few years.

I had always tried to be there. Hadn't been able to help Alice. I had seen the signs. Recognized deep in my tissue those fucking symptoms.

But I had never known for a fact what caused them. Could only guess. And considering what I was hiding, there were only so many times I dared to try and get an answer.

I didn't deserve to know. As much as it killed me to watch those moments, the ones that had me fearing for her overall happiness, I couldn't do anything about them.

I missed her when the tables were turned and it was me. So many times I almost told her.

Knew she'd hate her brother for it. Couldn't bring myself to cause that.

"Rose?"

She turned and looked at me. In the moonlight that peered in through the window her eyes glowed with resolve. As always. Rosalie was determined to...everything. Seriously. Whatever the fuck it was, whatever the fuck it involved, didn't matter. Nope. If she was involved in it, she won it.

Yes, that included life as well.

"What, Bella?" she asked, her voice steady. Calm.

"Did you know? About Alice and Jasper, did you kn..."

"Bella!" Alice gasped turning to me with wide eyes.

"Yes."

Hm. Of course she did. After all, she'd been the one with each of us separately each time.

If I had confided in her...of course Alice had as well.

"You bitches put me in one awkward as hell situation," Rose said, her voice coming out rough.

Alice's eyes widened. Then her mouth fell open. That lasted about two seconds before her face came down into a fierce pout. "Rose! You knew about each of us. Do you know how selfish that makes me feel right now?" she cried, crossing her arms and leveling that pout on Rose.

"Me, too," I whispered. My eyes fell to the carpet and stayed there. It was time to start practicing. Apparently, after tonight all my reasons to hold my head high would be nothing but smoke. Blowing in the wind. Going bye-bye as I tearfully watched...

Focus. You can break down into La La Land later.

"Yeah, it was fuck shit to go through. But someone had to, right? You're my friends," Rose said calmly.

And there it was. One of two irrefutable facts. There was still doubt on a few things when it came to Rosalie.

One, was she mostly high-society princess or not? We've seen evidence to both.

Two, is she certifiably insane or not? Judge me and Alice for this all you want, but something isn't one hundred percent normal with Rosalie Hale. She snaps. Dangerously. Like short-circuit-in-the-spinal-column-bad. And I have a degree in human brain failure. I know the signs.

Three, would she kill someone? Without a doubt, one hundred percent, hell-the-fuck yeah. Has she done it, yet? No. But will she one day? Yes. Alice and I agree on this very seriously. The woman is very capable of committing murder. Depending on how badly the person fucked with her, she might very well really enjoy it, too.

And four, was she a fierce friend? To the point that in four years she'd become like another sister to me and Alice. Once Rosalie cared for you it was over. She was there for you no matter what you needed. No matter what it cost her.

"I'm an asshole," I groaned, rubbing my forehead and trying to make the ache go away.

"Bella, you weren't the only one," Alice whispered, her hand landing on my shoulder.

I groaned deeply, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to make the tears go back. Ended up sniffing anyway. "Yeah, but I'm on a roll. Riding the grand mega-wave of selfishness and fucking up on the people that care about me..."

"Bella..."

"Ugh! I need a cigarette." Surprise, surprise. I do think I've mentioned I've been on a slightly self-destructive streak the last few years, yes?

Still blinking back tears, I shakily got to my feet. Slowly, the girls followed suit. I stumbled over to where my clutch had fallen. Through blurry eyes I searched for my cigarettes. When I turned I saw that the other girls had down the same. I couldn't help but smile. "Aren't we something?"

"We aren't the only girls in the world that smoke. Now move, I've had a stressful night and I need a cigarette," Rose said, walking towards me and sliding the cigarette between her lips.

It was either go through the balcony doors or get mowed over.

I slid the sliding door open and stepped out onto the summer air. I felt the other two girls coming in behind me. For a moment, I let myself get lost in how good the wind felt. I loved summer nights. Loved how perfect the weather seemed to be.

Although, they reminded me. A lot of the time a simple breeze caressing my skin brought me back.

"Bella."

"Oh, holy shit!" Alice coughed, her hand coming up to her throat.

I nearly dropped my unlit cigarette. Out of the corner of my eye, on the balcony next to ours, I saw a tall figure. Dressed in black.

Either my peripheral vision had evolved to super human status or my memory was a masochistic asshole. Because even though I wasn't fully turned to look at the tall man on the balcony next to us, I could still make out every line on that face.

Every single freaking spot.

"Isn't your room upstairs?" Rose asked out of nowhere, her delicate fingers bringing the cigarette to her mouth.

"Emmett's room is upstairs. This is my room."

He'd been there. I don't know how long he'd been there but while I had stood in this room getting ready with the girls he'd been right next door.

And I hadn't seen him. How the fuck was that possible?

I had ended up on the very corner of the small balcony, tucked into it. I was frozen, cigarette still in hand as I stared off into the night. Trying to convince myself not to look. Trying to remind myself of the horrible thing I'd done in that parking lot.

Because it was horrible.

Regardless of how much my damned pussy seemed to like the idea. It was wrong.

There was only about two and a half feet separating the balconies. Had I not been so absorbed in my task of not turning to look at him I would have seen and known the moment he decided to put such small separation space to good use.

"Here," he said, coming closer. His voice sounded muffled, lips tensed.

There was a metallic click and then a flame appeared next to me, cupped gently by his large palm.

I turned, eyes wide and shocked, as the flame brought to focus something I hadn't noticed before.

Flat on his skin, enough to explain why I hadn't felt them, but dark enough to cause a large contrast.

Jagged and obvious.

Scars.

On the palm of his hand.

Every cell in my body jumped with recognition.

I cried out. Trapped by his hard dick pounding into me. Trapped by how he looked. Dangerous and wild as he moved. My back arched.

The next words that left my mouth did so on a breathless plea. "Yes! Oh, fuck. Harder! Yes! Fuck! Please, fucking break it! Break me!"

I froze, feeling something inside me crumbling a little further. My wide eyes looked away from his hand, away from the physical mark, and landed on his face.

In the dark, his nearly black eyes stared at me. He was still holding the flame out to me. Tensed.

Tall. Still.

His lips were wrapped around the end of a cigarette as well.

I knew he'd started smoking a few years back. Had seen some pictures in the papers of him doing so. But none were up close. None.

The tingling that had begun to go through me at the sight of his scars morphed into a drumming.

His lips looked soft. Full as they wrapped around that…

With shaky hands I reached up and quickly lit my cigarette. I was still shaking, damn it, when I pulled back and proceeded to put at least a foot of space between me and the end of the balcony. Giving me about three measly feet away from the man next to me.

Time had already proven that thousands of miles weren't enough. So three feet were really fucking with my tolerance levels.

"Can we talk?" he asked in that tone that made me want to pull his hair. I couldn't decide if I meant that in the good way or the bad, but I did know that if my fingers ever got in there it would involve a lot of pain.

A lot.

And was he serious with this? Really? "Uh...yeah...how about...no," I said, staring off straight into the night. Eyes landing on the Grand Hall. On the very parking lot that had started this mess. "Last time you asked for a dance," I continued, voice dripping with sarcasm as I took a drag.

Tensed and jittery for some reason (maybe it was the nicotine), I felt that blind acid like wave that rose in me. The one that demanded I stand up. Even though a part of me wanted to run from him, escape what he did to my body, there was no way I was going to do so.

None.

I had some control here, damn it.

Some, the fairy said, next to my head and eyeing his crotch.

See that? That just added to the flames of my pissed off.

Jaw clenched I turned and met his stare head on.

He was leaning on the railing, calmly smoking and watching me.

I wanted to shrink back so badly that it hurt. His eyes bore into mine. Reached into my brain and pulled out every single detail. Every single thing that I had tried to bleach and scrub free and had been unable to get rid of.

Every word had been an ant, burrowing deeper and deeper every time I tried to get at it. Destroy it.

Everything that just wouldn't freaking go away.

"Edward...I...please!"

"Please what, huh baby? You want my come? You want it...deep...in...here?" His voice was a breathless thrust, as hard as his hips were slamming into me.

My eyes were frozen. Frozen on his face. On the way his brow had gone hard. His whole body was tensed, curled into me even as he fucked me.

His eyes wouldn't leave me. They wouldn't let me go.

And his chest, his abs, God, looking down, the way his dick looked sliding in and out...

I could feel it. Like a tight bomb inside me I could feel it building with each throb. With each moan from him.

I was too close. Too tight. Everything had been building up and now I was right there.

I just needed him to push me over. "Yes...please...umph!...more!...fuck me please!"

"Oh, little one. I love how you take this dick."

That voice. Oh, fuck, I was close...

I forced myself back to the present. Forced myself even though every nerve in me was wailing. In agony.

How could I still be so hungry? How?

It had never gone away. It was getting worse...

"I don't trust you alone with me," I said stubbornly, still not backing down even as my body tightened.

He took another drag. Eyes fell down to my chest.

Damn him and damn me for not wearing a God damned bra!

To be fair, the dress doesn't really allow for that...

We could've figured something out!

His nostrils flared.

My nipples reacted even more to what seemed to be some silent call from him.

There was no hiding it like this. No hiding how starving I was.

Note to self: Wear heavy padded bra anywhere near this man in the future.

"You don't trust yourself alone with me," he said out of nowhere, his tone purely conversational.

The motherfucker.

"I am so not paying witness to this," Alice whisper/whined behind me.

Rose choked.

I was seriously battling a very intense urge that demanded I do something.

Something that ended with him just happening to trip off his balcony.

"I'm going inside," I snapped, flinging my cigarette over the balcony and turning to move.

"Stop running from me."

Red. Lazy, pulsing, blood hungry visions of RED.

I was shaking with rage as I turned around. Stomped the few feet back to the rail and leaned on it, getting in his face and feeling my own morph with anger.

He calmly threw his own cigarette then leaned towards me. Met my stare head on.

His calmness poked at something in me. The chaotic thing in me rolled around in indignation. It existed. He stood there calmly.

So not fair.

"I am not running," I said through clenched teeth, shaking and caught in the lock of his stare once more.

A stomach wave went through me. Almost like the one I got when I jumped off the airplane. Right before there was nothing but air. Weightlessness.

That thrill.

"Then talk to me," he said, leaning even closer.

His eyelashes fanned in front of his eyes as he spoke. His jaw worked, moved, played with his lips and made them do this weird thing that was too hot to be called speaking.

You obviously have a problem on your hands.

Duh!

"No, not now," I said, slamming my hands down on the rail.

His nostrils flared. He lowered his head. Stared up at me from under his brow.

My fingers became tight vices around the rail. Holding me still. Keeping me there.

"You always have to make everything so difficult..."

I gasped. "Fucker!"

"Ok..." Rose said behind me.

"I'm going in, I am so not watching this anymore!" Alice.

Heard the door slide open, their fucking heels clicking as they ran in.

Heard it slide closed.

TRAITORS!

One look down confirmed that Edward's hands were very dutifully mimicking mine. Except they were bigger. And they were tensed, strong looking, veins popping out from the strain. On the other side, I now knew, existed the visual proof that night had left on him.

That WE left on him, hunny. Remember how good his blood tasted? I bet that other mark is still on his shoulder, too.

No, please don't...

I watched, shaking again as one of his hands came up. Slowly.

Torn and conflicting heat rushed through me. He was going to touch me, he was going to...

His right hand simply came up and brushed aside the hair that was hanging over my left shoulder.

Edward pulled back. His eyes on the skin he'd exposed.

On the flat, circular scar that had barely begun to fade.

"How did you explain that to him?" Edward asked, his eyes hot as they stared at what had once been a very clear impression of his teeth.

"That's none of your business," I whispered, feeling even more anger rushing through me.

"Does he know? That there was someone before?"

I stepped away from the balcony. My eyes wouldn't stop taking in his mouth as he talked. How his lips moved and how they looked in the low street lights...

"And what the hell did you tell your girlfriend about your hands?" I snapped, almost stumbling backwards in my haste to get to the door.

"She wasn't really my girlfriend. She knew about us. Remember? And she only asked once. When I gave her no answer she never asked again," he said, watching me and looking like he was seriously debating jumping over the small space and onto my balcony.

I heard what he was saying. But the problem is, my brain was only registering his voice saying anything in relation to 'her'. The fact that she had even been close enough to him to see and ask about my mark on him...

Ok. You're going irrational again. Seriously time to go.

In a rush the words stumbled out of me. Not premeditated or thought through words, but words that were true nonetheless.

"He knows. He knows I slept with someone once in my life before him..."

"Does he know of the days before it? Of what happened..."

In a flash, my brain took me back to that night. To the freaking temple. To my stupid ass deciding to break the law big time by falling to my knees.

In my defense, Egypt inspires a pagan-like fury inside me.

I might have been simply possessed by the infamously horny Cleopatra.

Who knows?

But in the blink of an eye, I could see him. Up against the wall and in that dark gray and stripped suit. Weeks of wanting him had been tearing apart my clit from the inside. I was on my knees, his dick sliding slowly into my mouth.

The way he looked at me, his face pained and fixated, the sounds he made...

"We can't be near each other," I finally admitted out of nowhere, reaching the sliding door and leaning on it. The double-bed room was dark inside. I could see no signs of Rose. Or Alice.

My hand was on the handle when his voice stopped me again.

"Don't do this. Don't run from this," Edward said, his voice a soft plea that felt like a lick to my spine.

My hand tightened around the handle. With every flash of heat and every needy scream of my body, what I had just said was becoming more and more clear.

"He deserves better than this. He's been around this long. Waiting for me. Being my boyfriend and being...good to me," I said.

"Just...good?" he asked slowly.

I turned around in a heartbeat, meeting his stare head on and shaking my head. "He's not perfect, no one is. But he's a good boyfriend, Edward..."

Edward threw his hands up. "I just...if he gives you everything you need, Beautiful, then why can't you be near me?"

Fucker.

Stupid fucker. Idiot had a death wish.

I understand that this is just him being honest and his ego being that big because let's face it, it is, and that he probably wasn't really trying to piss me off. To throw it in my face.

But it felt like that anyway and it made me want to hurt him.

And he was right. I wasn't a fool. I knew.

He doesn't give you everything.

I know!

In all fairness, I hadn't even really tried. It could very well be my fault. My boyfriend could have probably scrubbed the man before me out of me but I had never given him the chance. Not yet.

In comes Edward and I'm cheating on my boyfriend by sharing an orgasm with the guy. Just like that. After four years, after everything that had happened...

Clearly, there was something wrong with me.

"I have to talk to you someday. But not now. I need...more time," I said, hugging myself and leaning on the door.

Edward stared back at me.

I involuntarily shivered, as always, trapped and awed by the heat slamming into me.

He was either the best actor in the world...or he was deathly serious. But everything in me was convinced that the man looked as insanely hungry as I felt.

"Forever wouldn't be enough, Bella."

My world felt fragile. Like broken glass that had been glued back together, it shook. I knew that if it broke again, this time it would be beyond fixing.

Just garbage.

"Edward, I'm leaving in the morning. I'll be back in a month or so. If you need to talk that badly we can talk then...I think," I said, finally sliding the door open and taking a step inside.

"Bella?"

I froze, inside the room now. Looked at him.

Saw him staring at me with pure determination.

"I let you go once. Don't think I'm doing it again."

I slid the door closed, shutting out his words and shaking. One flick of my wrist had the curtain closed.

I could hear the shower going now that I was inside the room. Other than that there was no other sounds. I slid down to the floor, the last of my energy leaving me.

Still in the damned dress and heels, the tears came. I felt them start to spill out of me as I shook everywhere. So powerful they were silent, the pounding waves of pain and guilt ran through me.

I tried to make sense of the maelstrom of thoughts that was going through my head but nothing registered. All I could do was try to breathe through every sob, through every heave of my chest. Part of me was scared, as I sat there, because with every minute the pain was growing and I was already having a hard enough time dealing.

I was so tired.

I didn't even hear the shower turn off. Didn't realize that the bathroom door had opened, either. Just sat there, eyes fixated on the floor as my misery and confusion left me in torrents.

Two small feet appeared in my line of my vision.

"Look at you, baby girl," Alice whispered, kneeling in front of me in her pink bathrobe.

Her small and gentle hands landed on my shoulders. When she pulled me near her, I didn't hesitate on going. Landing on her chest and feeling her arms wrap around me undid me.

"Shhh," Alice whispered, rocking me as another sob round began.

God, I was so sick. So sick of being like this. So sick of needing something so badly that I could barely exist.

In a fog, I was barely aware when Alice stood up and helped me up with her. Barely an inch shorter than me it still wasn't lost on me how small she seemed.

How delicate and tiny.

People said I wasn't that much bigger than her. I just couldn't see it.

She helped me onto the bed. Helped me out of my shoes.

Paused momentarily before smoothing back my hair. "I knew it," she said in a whisper. "I knew and was so caught up in my own shit that it was kind of comfortable to turn my back and ignore it. I'm sorry."

I blinked, more tears leaking out of my eyes. My hand came up and covered hers over my forehead. "How about you, dude? I just...I didn't tell you because I didn't want to cause problems between you and your brother. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked through leaky eyes and a stuffy nose.

Alice blinked back her own tears. Slowly, she reached up and unwrapped the towel that was wrapped around her head. Her hair fell down her back in a wet mess of straight tangles. When she turned back to me her eyes glittered in the moonlight. "You were hurt enough. I didn't know why but I knew you were. I didn't want you dealing with my fuck mess at the same time. Now move over missy, Rose has been there for you all this time. My turn now," she said shooing me towards the other side of the bed.

I opened my mouth to say something. Perhaps apologize again or ask her how she was doing.

But she just shook her head and laid down next to me. "We can talk tomorrow. We leave early as fuck in the morning and we have a seven hour car ride back into New York. Then we gotta meet up with everybody and board a seven hour flight," she said, making herself comfortable.

Her words made Scott's face flash through my mind.

His short blond hair, his blue eyes, his goatee. All of it beyond handsome, beyond what a girl could want. So many of the girls in the school talked about me behind my back. Asking themselves why he was with me. The moody, depressed, slightly unhinged girl.

I wondered at it myself. He put up with so much from me.

Suspected why but never made a big deal about it.

God, he was an amazing person.

In a few hours I'd have to see him. Kiss him again.

Look him in the eye and...what? Pretend I didn't do anything?

Lie?

"Alice, I don't know what to do. I cheated on Scott," I gasped, the tears starting up all over again.

"Define cheat..."

"Your brother dry humped me into the wall!"

"You came?"

"What?...DUH!"

"Ok, ew, but yeah. You cheated."

"Thanks for the newsflash!" I cried as a new round of waterworks started gearing up.

"Bella, please don't get mad but hear me out. I'm not saying you go back with my brother. That isn't even an option for you right now. But Scott? Bella, honey, you've never really been there in the relationship..."

"Please, stop," I cried, trying to block the pain her words were hitting me with.

"No. Listen. This isn't even about Edward anymore. This is about you. You are obviously not ready to be with someone else. Never were. And it led to this."

She was right. She was absolutely right.

I knew this.

Still, I cried like a pathetic fool as her words sank in.

Because if I wasn't ready now then when would I be? Never?

"Oh God, what am I going to do?" I asked feebly even though I was very aware of the answer to that.

And Alice, being Alice, didn't hesitate to give it to me.

"It's only fair. For his own chance at happiness. You've got to let him go."

My heart broke a little bit more.

"How?" I asked, choking on a sob. "We are all leaving for a month. To Europe. We planned this graduation trip for over a year. I'm supposed to walk up to him after all this time, right before we're supposed to leave, and be like, 'Thanks for putting up with so much. Now leave'?"

I stared up at the ceiling feeling the beginnings of exhaustion crawling in on me. My brain had been through too much, it was too overloaded.

Now this.

Two years. Two years and while I didn't passionately love Scott, I still cared.

I made him wait almost two years for something any guy could get in a snap. Especially a guy like him. He had girls wanting him left and right.

But he said he loved me. And that he'd been willing to wait. Although I had seen the tension in him, throughout that time he had settled for less.

I had never given him what one other man had taken only once.

Excuse me, but doesn't the fact that I am going to break up with him now not qualify me for some sort of 'Bitch of The Year' award?

Just asking. Seems like so to me.

"Don't do it now, then," Alice whispered.

"What?"

"Wait until after the trip. Have this time with him and then let him go when you get back."

I blinked at her, confused as to how she could say this seriously. "So pretend for another month that everything is ok then land that big fat one on him when we get back?"

"It's either that or leave him in the morning right before the trip."

"How about I don't leave him at all?"

"Bella!" Alice whined, obviously growing tired of me.

She was right. Damn it, she was right. I couldn't keep Scott. He deserved more. He deserved better.

I didn't deserve him therefore I shouldn't keep him.

Alone again.

"Ok," I heard myself say, feeling the grinding lock of fate sliding into place.

"It'll be ok. We'll be ok, babe, you'll see," Alice whispered, cupping my cheek and caressing it.

I nodded my head, feeling another tear slide out. "Where's Rose?"

"Said she needed some air. Our girl can take care of herself. Thing is, what the hell happened?" Alice asked, this time staring up at the ceiling herself.

"Um..." I said, sniffing and wiping away a tear. "Apparently Emmett saved her from Morrison. Somewhere along the line they ended up naked and fucking before she found out that he was your brother."

Alice cringed, her eyes blinking rapidly in disbelief as she continued to look at the ceiling. "The fuck?" she gasped, looking like she was still trying to make sense of the whole thing.

"I know," I groaned, just as confused. And tired. So bone deep tired I felt like I was melting into the bed.

"Ok, I'm done trying to figure anything out. My two best friends have now officially both fucked one of my brothers..."

"Alice!"

"And I am getting weird disturbing mental images just trying to put the pieces together, so I'm done. Good night, Bella."

She closed her eyes.

"Good night, asshole," I grumbled, doing the same because my body no longer felt like it had a choice.

I was almost instantly pulled under, pulled into a deep sleep.

I really should've fought to stay awake. You have no idea how much I mean this.

---

"Why are you here?"

That question smacks me. Burns me hard as it marks my flesh.

Why?

Why am I here?

Why do I keep coming back?

I open my mouth. Believing I don't know the answer.

Hear the echo of the word 'liar' bouncing through my head.

Suddenly he's close to me. In a flash, he's there. Behind me. His hands appear on either side of me, pressed into the glass.

He'd trapped me in again.

He's always trapping me.

"Tell me the truth. Why do you keep coming back to this place?"

His voice drifted across the skin of my ear.

It took everything in me not to grind back. Not to seek the hard flesh I knew was right there.

"I...I..."

"Is it because of this?" Edward asked, one hand coming down and pressing against my neck. Caressing right over my thundering pulse.

I jerked, eyes rolling back and body arching without my permission.

He pressed into me, growling, every inch as hard as I remembered.

"This is why you keep coming back, isn't it?" he asked into my ear, his hand circling my neck from behind. Holding me still while he pressed his throbbing dick into me.

Right there.

I throbbed in response, wet and needy from that alone.

"Admit it, baby. Admit it and I'll give it to you."

I whimpered, pressing back and rotating. Making him hiss in that way that was branded on my skin.

"Admit it. Admit that this is why you keep coming back."

I clenched my lips shut.

He was right, I knew it. I knew that this was exactly why I couldn't let it go. Because no one had ever come close. No one had ever made me feel like this.

No one ever woke it all up like that.

How do you let that go? After having it, tasting it…how do you let it go?

I jerked again, feeling my legs quiver as he lifted me up by his hold on my neck. In one swift move he turned us.

Made me face it.

That fucking desk.

Because this was one of the main places I always came back to.

That stupid fucking glass desk with its bright red drawers underneath.

Edward chuckled huskily behind me, his mouth too close to my ear again.

"Remember that, baby?" he asked, leaning in and licking my ear.

The shock was instant, running through every cell. Calling my attention.

I moaned, pressing back into him even though he still had a hold of my neck.

"Remember what I did to you on it?"

Fucker! He knew damned well I did. I wouldn't be grinding into him like a dog in heat if that weren't the case!

He groaned behind me.

I swear I felt the vibrations all the way down his chest, through his hips, and down to my toes.

My heart nearly gave out, excitement spilling through me as he pushed me forward. The heels of my ridiculous pumps clicked on the floor as he rushed me towards the desk.

I had no idea why, but in every dream I was wearing some new pair of stripper heels. I was.

Edward shoved his chair out of the way. The computer was already conveniently moved. Poor thing. I remembered what happened to it last time... Before I could finish the thought, Edward just shoved me down right on it.

Bent me over.

Holding my neck.

Slammed me on the desk and kept me there.

My cheek rested against the cool glass and, out of the side of my eyes, I looked at him. Felt myself throbbing under his stare.

And when he looked down at me, looked down at my feet and licked his lips, I also had to admit that I was lying about the whole heel thing.

I know why I always wear them in my dreams.

I knew he'd love those. I would've so fucking worn them for him in real life, had I been given the chance.

Would've had him grab onto them while pounding into me.

"Always so wet for me, huh baby?" he asked, tilting his head. I felt one single finger touch my inner thigh.

Trail upwards.

Did I mention that aside from stripper heels I am also naked in every dream?

Yeah. Whorella is always in full, shiny display for this.

Then his fingers traced my lips, barely touching them, and I was reminded of why Whorella even existed in the first place.

"Fuck, baby, you're so ready for me."

His voice always did that to me. Always. The things he had said had stayed. The brutality of his honesty in those moments shifting something within me.

Trapping me further even as I knew I had to get away.

"Please," I whimpered, pressing back into his fingers and letting my body beg for more.

He moaned, the tip of one finger pushing past my lips.

Barely circling my entrance.

"Edward! Please!"

"Fuck, baby. Look at how much you need me."

"Yes!" I cried, feeling the rush begin. Just a little more...God, just a little harder...I could feel it...

Then he slid his finger all the way into me.

No warning.

Nothing.

Just the aching pleasure of feeling some part of him penetrating deep.

"Oh, fuck! Fuck, please, yes!" I moaned, spreading my legs wider as he started slamming his finger into me.

In.

Out.

Hard.

I grabbed onto the desk, my body rocking back and forth from the force of his slamming. Pleasure rippled through every nerve, starting from inside me where his finger was feeding some of the hunger.

It felt amazing, feeling the tingle, feeling the tightening of my muscles...

It still wasn't enough.

I needed more.

I needed him. Long, hard, wide, and deep inside me.

Stretching me.

Tearing me.

Claiming my pussy as he came lost inside it.

"Please," I begged again, dying and needy...

"God. Tell me you want my cock. Tell me you want it, baby, I'll give it to you..."

"Fuck!" I cried as he slammed another finger into me. My head and neck were thrown back even as Edward continued to hold me against the desk.

"Say it."

I felt the tip of his dick press into me. Against me.

Lost my God damned mind and went into berserk mode.

"God, Edward, please! Please give it to me. I want it. I want your cock, Edward...Fuck!" I screamed as he finally slammed home into me.

Inside me. Throbbing.

Right there. I was fucking right there again and this time he was inside me. I heard his moans, his grunts as he slammed in and out.

One look over my shoulder showed him to me. In the moonlight coming in through that huge glass wall. His muscles flexing and releasing with every thrust.

His face the hottest fucking thing on this planet.

"I'm so close," I moaned, tensing in preparation for what I knew he was going to do.

Because he always did it. Every time.

Rocked my world and left me broken afterward.

And I knew. I knew the pain that was waiting for me after this. It was the same every time.

Yet, the promise of this, the promise of him making me cum the way only he knew how...

"I'm close. Oh, God, Edward..."

Felt something poke me.

Put a stake right through my orgasm plans.

Felt the poke again.

On my right side.

My face...

It was hard...

"Wake the fuck up bitch! If I hear one more thing..."

My eyes snapped open. Light jumped into the exposed flesh making it shrink back.

My heart was beating frantically as I tried to come back to reality.

At the same time it was the very last thing I wanted to do.

Because the pain that always accompanied those dreams was coming back.

My eyes were still swollen from all the crying the night before. Starting up again was really the last thing I wanted to do right now.

"Bitch!"

I jumped at that screech, eyes wide and trying to find the source.

Alice was leaning over me. No, more like standing up next to me. On the bed. Still in her pink bathrobe. Hair a complete mess.

Hanger in her hand and extended towards me.

Rosalie was off by the door. She'd obviously come in at some point during the night. She was in her red sleeping pants and black tank. Looked like she just jumped out of bed, too.

Clearly something was wrong with Alice and she'd gotten Rose out of bed first.

Now it was my turn.

Hm...

"What the hell happened?" I asked, trying to ignore the dream I had been woken up from. Trying to ignore the sensations left behind because of it.

You got this. It's not like this is the first one you've had. You've been through this before.

"I'll tell you what the hell happened!" Alice yelled, waving the hanger in my face. "I fall asleep with you and then wake up this morning and you're dry humping me!"

WHAT?

Eyes wide, I turned to Rose.

Saw her nodding at me with a sad and pitying look. A combination that was suspiciously mocking. "It's true, I was awake..."

"And if that's not enough!" Alice yelled again, making my attention snap back to her. "Here I am, I'm starting to get all flattered, thinking that your true feelings for me are finally coming to the fore..."

Um...

WHAT?

"Then next thing I know you're moaning. Out loud." Alice's face turned beat red as she seethed down at me. "And WHAT do I hear? 'God, Edward, please! Please give it to me. I want it. I want your cock, Edward...' What the fuck is that?"

My face went red. I felt my blood pressure center on my forehead, radiating heat out to the far reaches of my face.

I...wha...how...I...

"This is bullshit!" I yelled, because I really didn't have anything else to say, and jumped off the bed.

No way. No way had I said that fucking much out loud!

That seemed like a pretty accurate replay...

Shut the fuck up!

Alice watched me go from her perch on the bed. The hanger was still pointed at me and her chest was still heaving.

She hissed at me. Jabbed the hanger towards me.

Rose choked, trying to hold back her laughing.

"I can't believe it was that bad!" I yelled at Alice, feeling my face burn some more.

"Oh, yes it was!" Rose and Alice said, one laughing and one furious.

"He's my brother, Bella! Seriously, wrong..."

I turned, pissed off, embarrassed, in pain and needy.

And guilty. Let's not forget that one.

All in all, not the best way to start your morning.

As fast as I could I ran into the bathroom. Just as I was slamming the door, Rose's voice reached me.

"Yeah, girl better do it. And right after this trip. Staying with the man after what I heard? Not right. Nope."

The sound of the door slamming vibrated through the walls.

The sounds of my despair were silent as I turned towards the shower. Water trickled down my face. But it wasn't just the pain this time. No.

Guilt.

Fear.

They'd come along, those two. Made love then jumped into my head on a mission to unite with all the other fucked up emotions in there. I could hear them DJ-ing the pity party growing inside me. Could hear them at the fore, above all else, bringing to light all my failures.

My insecurities.

The fear of the unknown.

Get it together, Bella. Just go on this trip. Make it right. Then when you come home finish making it right.

I knew this. Knew this is what I had to do now.

Finding the strength to go through with it would be nearly impossible. And yet, someway, somehow, I had to try.

---

Seven and a half hours later...

"Oh my God. Finally," Alice groaned as we walked towards the gate.

Everywhere outside there were planes. Small private jets. Large private jets.

And what looked like private airplanes. Full blown, decked out, some even two floors.

Wow.

I hugged my Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee to my chest and nursed it as I had been doing for the last half hour. Salvation truly lay in those magic cups.

It was helping with the parade in my head.

A little.

My sunglasses were still propped on my nose and even that wasn't enough to block out the annoying sunlight that filtered in through the windows. I walked, clutching my coffee carefully, and playing a weird game of dodge the sun in which I jumped back as discreetly as possible from any and all possible sunlight.

Remained in the shadows.

I felt like I'd been jugging rubbing alcohol all night. My head was destroyed, angry as fuck over my life decisions and the situations it had thus been put in. With that in mind it had turned on me, decided that me feeling the emotional strain of this all wasn't enough.

No. Let's add some physical agony to the concoction and see how Bella turns out.

I was still in a daze. Lost and still trying to make heads or tails of the situation that I'd been put in…

"Girls! Over here!"

Only one person I knew had that uniquely loud and nasally voice.

Turning, I caught sight of Jessica. She was walking with the others and waving at us like a lunatic.

As the girls and I started walking in their direction my eyes finally caught on to the big hulking metal contraption to the left, on the other side of the glass window.

Wha...what...was that one of those two-story airplanes?

At our gate?

"Fuck, there it is!" Alice squealed, running towards the window with her arms wide open. "The family baby! Did you miss momma, big boy? Did you?" she cooed, pressed up to the glass.

The family what?

This thing was their private family Jet?

"What is wrong with your family?" I snapped as we got closer, my eyes frozen on the skyscraper on wheels before me.

"My brothers picked this out, not me," Alice said simply, her wide eyes still drinking in the metal Goliath we were supposed to fly in.

"Clearly," I said under my breath, knowing full well the extent of her brothers' equal and shared Megalomania.

What did surprise me was hearing Rose echo the sentiment from somewhere behind and to the right of me.

Begging once more the question: What did Emmett do to her?

My eyes took in the group before me as they got closer. Jessica, Mike, Angela, Ben, and...

My heart fell into my stomach. Scott's tall frame was behind Ben. His light blue eyes were on me and his face broke into a huge smile the moment he saw me.

Smile still in place, he waved.

I tried to smile back. Think it came out as more of a grimace. Then attempted to wave. Failed at that, too. It was more of a feeble hand flap.

Is that all you can give the man? After all he's given you?

Uh...I was going to attempt a kiss next? When he got closer?

Well, pucker up and pull it out of somewhere sugar. If that wave was any indication this might just go down as the worse kiss in history.

Fuck you.

"Oh my God, guys! I'm so excited!" Jessica screamed, jumping up and down before jogging up to Alice and bear hugging her.

Alice gave as good as she got, throwing in some of her own squeals. Her mouth was smiling wide but the moment she slid off her sunglasses I had to look away.

Was it just me? Was I just imagining it, projecting my feelings onto her? I don't know but her eyes made me hurt.

Made me ache.

In a flash reminded me of everything I was trying to keep bottled in.

"There's my gorgeous girl."

Like the guilty fucker that I am I jumped three feet in the air when I heard his voice and felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Whoa there, babe. You ok?" Scott asked, turning me to him and flashing me that panty dropping smile of his.

And it was one. It might not work on my self-imposed chastity belt but the man was gorgeous. Before I came along he'd been one of the most sought out guys in school.

Still kind of was. Girls still made it obvious they wanted him. That they wanted me gone so they could slide in.

And even more ridiculous? Scott hadn't been the biggest whore around but before me he'd been around. He was picky about who he got close to, which in a way was a compliment to me I guess, but before me he'd never done anything serious. Flings. Hook-ups.

Then me. And the girls couldn't have at him anymore because of that.

They hated me. Really.

Guess what I'm trying to say is my boyfriend is hot and any woman would be crazy not to want him.

Woo-hoo? Insane looney right here! Running lose! Somebody stop her!

You're losing it again. You're boyfriend's right there.

"I...I'm fine. Hey babe," I managed to say, even smiling back properly this time.

He cupped my chin in his large, tanned hand and held my face still as he reached up for my sunglasses. I concentrated on the way his hand felt. It was smooth, too smooth, proof of what he was. A well off guy from a very wealthy and prestigious family. He'd never had to work a day of hard labor in his life.

I took in the heat coming off his skin and tried to will myself to react. Yelled at my brain, told it once more that I was in control, and that I commanded it to light up at least one spark between me and the man before me.

As always, it just scoffed at me then turned away, head held high.

"There she is," Scott said, still smiling widely as he pulled my glasses off my face.

The sun attacked gleefully once the barrier was gone making me squint as it only added to the pain in my head.

I swear I could hear the throbbing going to the beat of 'Cheater! Cheater! Cheater!'

Scott laughed, cupping my chin tighter and bringing me closer. "So fucking cute, come here."

And he kissed me.

For the hell of it, I turned to my brain and pleaded with it to do something again.

Almost nothing.

Crickets. That's what the bitch gave me. I could hear them chirping.

Scott hummed against my lips, his own soft and firm. I tilted my head, trying to respond to him...

"Missed you," he said, pulling away and smiling down at me.

I could hear Satan cackling merrily over my soul as I barely held back the urge to exhale.

In relief.

Because my boyfriend had just stopped kissing me.

My God, what a bitch.

"Missed you, too," I said in a small voice. Not because I didn't mean it. I did. But because I didn't feel worthy of saying that to him.

I sure as hell didn't feel worthy when he smiled even wider and threw his arm over my shoulder.

Together we turned to the rest of the group.

When Angie ran up to me, arms wide and smiling brightly I couldn't help but smile back. She hugged me delicately as soon as she was close enough.

I hugged her back letting myself enjoy this one moment of unashamed happiness.

Which makes you even more shameful because you don't deserve any. Get it?

I groaned. Which, of course, Angie heard.

She put her hands on my shoulders, pulling back and looking at me. Her brown eyes shimmered with worry behind her glasses.

"Later," I mouthed, knowing that her, I would tell.

I'd always told her. Other than Rosalie, she was the only other person who had ever known until recently.

Angie stared at me seriously for a moment more before blinking and nodding.

I loved her, by the way. Really did. She was another one you could count own. Really count on.

And she was a little saner than Rosalie.

I think.

Again, kind of seen evidence to the contrary.

There was a little freaky-freak hiding behind those glasses...

"Yo! Bella!" Mike called, walking up to me and holding up his hand.

Rolling my eyes, I high-fived him. He knew I hated doing that shit.

Made me do it anyway.

It made him happy.

Thisis why he and Jess made a great pair. They did.

They just hadn't figured it out, yet.

Idiots.

The whole whirlwind of everyone greeting actually worked to distract me. For about five minutes. That's how long it took. Then almost as one everyone turned and began walking up towards the gate check in.

Everyone talked in a whirlwind around me. Scott squeezed my shoulder the whole time, only talking when spoken to, and just holding me.

He knew something was wrong. He was giving me my space. As always.

Because he was good like that.

And me?

Let's not do this again.

Ok.

I leaned into Scott's side as we walked down the small hallway leading to the entrance of the plane.

"Man, Alice. This is so fucking cool!" Mike said behind me, sounding for all the world like a five year old at Disney.

I smirked, just imagining what he looked like...

"I'm so excited! We planned this forever. We get to travel across Europe. For a month. In style. Who else is about to cum in their pants just thinking about it?" Jess gushed behind me, her tone alone making us laugh.

Almost everyone's laughing came to a screeching halt as we were ushered into the plane by one of the stewardess.'

Everyone's but Alice. She walked in behind me still giggling.

There was a slight maniacal tinge to it.

"Holy shit," Ben whispered behind me.

I agreed.

The first thing you see when walking into the plane? A dining room.

I shit you not. A dining room. Big motherfucker, too. I think it sat...one, two, three, four, five...six, seven...

Fourteen! It sat fourteen people!

And just had to have a flat screen TV in the back corner as a garnish.

I looked around me, blinking in confusion. I mean, it's not like I came from a poor family. My parents had been upper middle class. In school and thanks to who I dated, I'd been around enough wealth the last few years to get me acquainted with how they lived.

But everyone knew, even in the richest circles, that this went above that.

Beyond the dining room and behind the dividing wall I could see couches. What looked like another flat screen, beyond that even, another room...

"It's two floors. Has three real bedrooms and six other built into the wall beds. A total of nine bathrooms, too..." Alice rattled this all proudly as we walked far into the plane.

"This right here," she said as we passed the entrance into the second half of the plane. "Is where we buckle in for takeoff."

Here the design changed. Whereas up front it had been all warm wood and classy, sleek, back here it was a completely different story.

Still sexy but futuristic almost.

The ceiling here was made of sleek sheets of metal, cut into round and long shapes. Dim purple lighting emanated from a huge circular fixture above our heads.

I could see the round purple seats. Four seats, two facing each other, separated from the next four by a small purple wall on which there was a small table protruding from it. On the table facing the seats? A small flat screen.

Three small walls, a total of twelve seats.

Six medium flat screens attached.

Shit.

"Man, this is awesome," Mike said as he walked towards the very front.

Everyone else followed him with almost identical expressions. Everyone except Rose and Scott.

They grew up in this luxury. So had Alice.

They were used to this shit.

I for one was just using it as a massive distraction.

Scott grabbed my hand as we walked, choosing the third row/seating area, and walking into it.

From here I could see a small bar area all the way at the front. Beyond that? A hallway and what looked like a staircase leading down.

"You're quiet today, babe," Scott said as he took off his black blazer and sat down.

I watched him get comfortable, leaning back in his jeans and beige t shirt. His upper body was all muscle, big and defined.

Not as big as what we had in front of us last night!

Oh, hell no.

I blinked, forcing myself to ignore my stupid brain, and sat down. "Just tired," I answered, attempting a small smile.

"Didn't sleep well last night?" he asked, his bright eyes shining with concern.

I closed my eyes trying to block out the wave of self-disgust that question unleashed. When I opened my eyes again I saw that everyone had chosen where to sit and was busy settling in. "No. It's crazy when you share the hotel room with two other lunatics," I said, meaning it as I thought back to what had happened that morning.

Scott chuckled next to me which made me smile. I leaned back in my seat, quietly watching him as he relaxed. He looked tired as well.

Then again, nowadays, he always did.

"How was the trip up to see your family?" I asked, referring to his reason for not being at the ball yesterday.

Part of me still wished he'd been there. Perhaps then last night wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have ended up alone with Edward...

"It was fine. Same as always," Scott said vaguely, turning from me and staring towards the front of the plane.

I felt my brow furrow as I stared at his profile. Lately, he'd been going up to see his family a lot. And for some reason every time I asked him about it he always shut down.

Made me wonder what was going on. Was there a problem within the family? Why wouldn't he tell me?

Not like you two speak much about family.

True...

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a stewardess pass by me. She continued onward until she stopped near the front.

I saw Alice lean out. Alice said something to her. When the stewardess responded I saw Alice's brow slam down.

Hard.

Oh. Oh.

What?

I sat up in my seat, my heart taking off although I had no idea why. All around me the conversations of the others rose and fell.

My eyes were frozen on Alice. I hadn't even realized it but my hands had fallen to squeeze the sides of my seat.

My heart was twisting sickeningly inside me.

What the fuck was going on?

Then...

Oh dear Mother of God...

That voice...

"Fucking A, man! I've needed a vacation, bro!"

No.

No.

No.

"No, no, no."

Uh...That wasn't me.

Was that Rose?

"Emmett, shut the fuck up. You act like you've never been to Europe before."

My insides just...blagh! Exploded.

Melodramatic, much?

Fuck you, HE'S ON THE PLANE!

What?

For real!

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?" Alice screamed, looking all the way past me. Behind me.

Her eyes were wide.

I stared forward, trying to hold in the shaking that wanted to burst free. My head was being torn apart as my concentration, every bit of it, zoomed in and froze.

In two separate directions.

And they were battling each other to see who would lose.

You guessed it. The horror-filled, paranoid, future schizophrenic in me had set up a camera visual around Scott, covering every angle and waiting for some sort of negative reaction. For some sign that he was noticing something...seeing my reaction...

The other half of me...

Every muscle in my body was tensed. I was clenching down on my teeth and my hands. My toes inside my shoes had curled up. The only areas of my body that I allowed to do so. Everything else I tried to keep still. Calm. Like I didn't give a fuck about this new development.

The fairy appeared before me, right in front of my nose. It was kind of impossible not to focus on her and those damned wings up close.

She titled her head, her brow furrowing. Intertwined her fingers together in front of her. Silently pleading.

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMNED MIND?

He's here!

Don't you dare!

She took off anyway.

Got blocked by the large body that passed next to me.

Emmett walked in, his eyes not landing on me. He was staring somewhere towards the front.

Intently.

The man looked even bigger inside the plane for some reason. He sauntered towards where his vision was frozen, in jeans and a white muscle shirt. Black duffel bag carry-on held over one shoulder.

I watched his large back go feeling myself disassociate. I stepped outside my body and watched with abject horror as Edward appeared right after his brother.

Unlike his brother, Edward had been looking around. His head snapped to the side when his eyes landed on me. I tried my best not to show my inner fucked-upness as I watched the man do the worst thing possible.

Aside from coming on that damned plane in the first place.

Oh, and wearing dark low fitting jeans with a black v-neck shirt.

Pleeeeaassssseeee...

I SAID NO!

He turned and walked straight into our seating area.

Yes. Ours. Scott's and mine.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw one more figure pass by. Tall and blond.

The freaking Professor. Him, too.

I watched as Edward's eyes left me and froze on the man that was still my boyfriend.

Say something. Do something. For God's sake, MOVE!

Edward beat me to it. He turned back to me and smiled while taking the seat across from me.

Facing me.

Still smiling like what he was. One of the owner's of this damned plane.

My foot itched to connect with his face.

Of all the down low, dirty...

"Hello, Isabella. How are you today?"

I was going to kill him. Let this plane take off. There was going to be an accident tens of thousands of feet in the air.

I pasted on a fake smile, willing myself to breathe evenly. Asshole. Idiot who was used to getting his way.

Not happening.

No. Not this time.

I opened my mouth, ready to play him at his own game when...

"I asked you a fucking question, Emmett. Answer me," Alice snapped, sounding a little more than choked.

I wondered if the Professor had found a way to get up in her face, too.

Everyone on the plane had gone silent.

Edward's smile became even sweeter.

I returned it full force, putting on the polite-bitch facade I had picked up from Rose over the last few years.

"Alice," Emmett said, his tone lowering. Becoming serious. "I work hard. So does Eddie..."

"Emmett, I'll kick you in the forehead. I swear!" Edward yelled, leaning into the aisle and turning to look back.

"Shut the fuck up, Edward!" Alice yelled back.

Amen, sister!

"Anyway..." Emmett continued. "We are very tired men. And the Professor here just happened to be around. We figured we'd join you, seeing as we haven't really spent that much time with each other over the years, and partying in Europe is something that I am definitely always down to do..."

"Emmett, I'm going to kill you," Rose growled, her voice shaking with anger.

"Ditto," Alice whispered.

There was a few more seconds of silence.

"So..." I said, snapping to attention and grabbing my one chance when I saw it. I turned to Scott. My smile became smaller. But I could feel it was also more genuine. "Babe, this is Edward Cullen," I said, knowing he would know who he was.

Well he knew who he was but not who he was.

Does that make sense?

It's a mess. I know.

"Oh? Your ex-guardian?" Scott asked, smiling and sitting up.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward stiffen. I also saw the stewardess walking away, walking towards the front.

Conversation was starting to slowly resume around me.

I knew that my fate in that moment had been chosen.

I was on my way to Europe with my boyfriend, my friends, and three psychotic stalkers.

"Scott. Nice to meet you," Scott said, leaning forward and extending his hand to Edward.

I gotta give that man-child credit. Edward didn't aggressively stare at Scott or even show anything other than mild curiosity. He leaned forward, firmly shaking Scott's hand and even giving him a very polite smile.

Then I remembered. That beast had been trained to act civilized. He had been taught by some of the best professionals as a child. Instructed how to behave in a world that he hadn't always been a part of.

"Nice to meet you, Scott," Edward said, leaning back into his seat and adjusting his seatbelt.

With shaky hands I made sure I did the same.

A part of me was still in numb land, in disbelief, completely incredulous of the shit that was happening in my life...

"So, may I call you Edward?" Scott asked next to me, slipping into that friendly mode he did so well.

Only thing is, this time he really didn't need to do it.

Really.

Stop it, Scott. We don't really need you to talk to him, now do we?

"Of course," Edward said, his voice still flat and polite. But not disrespectful. Nope.

He only reserved that special tone for those close to him.

Beast.

Oh yes, he is, the fairy whispered, floating in that dreamy spiral again.

Shut the fuck up!

"This is a very nice plane you've guys got here. Thanks for letting us borrow it," Scott said.

I stared at my lap resisting the urge to smack my boyfriend. Regardless of the fact that this all seemed to point to the fact that he wasn't picking up on anything weird.

I just didn't want him talking to Edward. Nope. Classic cheater behavior. I know this.

I'm wretched.

"You're very welcome," Edward said and I could hear that he was smiling.

Genuinely.

My eyes flew up and focused on his face. Yup. That was a real smile.

"It kind of worked out for the best. We all came down in time for the ball to see Alice and Bella and had taken time off anyway. Getting to tag along is a big bonus," Edward said, his eyes flickering momentarily towards me.

"So you were at the ball last night?" Scott asked, sounding surprised.

I prayed and prayed to God for a distraction. Of ANY kind.

"Yes," Edward said simply, his tone too flat to be giving too much of anything away.

Not flat enough to hide the slight hint of more in it.

Asshole.

"Hm. Bella hadn't told me, yet. So, I assume you won't be joining us for the whole month? Because of work?" Scott asked.

Stop asking questions!

Edward was still smiling when he answered. "I can take time off whenever I want. So can my brother. Jasper has been on a lengthy vacation."

You have an answer for everything, don't you?

Almost as if he heard my question his eyes snapped to me. And stayed.

The amount of mental control it took for me to keep a straight face, even as I felt my nipples hardening under my tank, was outrageous.

And damn it! I wasn't wearing a bra again. Although, in my defense, I was not expecting to see him for at least another month...two...maybe a year if possible...

The voice of the captain came over the speakers.

All conversation ceased around me.

I thanked God fervently for the delayed distraction. Really, better late than never.

Edward alternated between looking through the magazines available to read and looking up at me from time to time.

Each time I kept my expression neutral, trying to not breathe deeply and take in the scent coming off of him.

Of course, he still used that same cologne. That woody combination that did weird things to his own already woody and chocolate-like scent.

Like amplified it. Unbearably.

I was barely breathing yet I felt like I was still taking in every molecule of that scent into my nostrils with each inhale.

I reached for a magazine myself, choosing one without looking. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Scott doing the same. Exhaling in relief, I told my heart to calm down and looked down at the magazine I had grabbed.

Cosmo.

Fucking Cosmo.

I hadn't read this month's issue, yet. Cameron Diaz stared back at me, her shirt giving a flirty glimpse of the side of one breast.

The big black words in the upper left corner caught my eye. "78 Ways To Turn Him On (These words will make his pulse pound hard.)"

The fairy was instantly at my shoulder, the world ceasing to exist.

One thing her and I most definitely agreed on was that our education was highly important. Highly.

Regardless of whether I got to apply said knowledge in life or not.

I quickly turned to the page, happy to have finally found something that would distract me enough to ignore the man in front of me.

Two minutes into the article I realized how very wrong I had been about that assumption. I was on number thirty two when I realized that my brain kept doing this annoying thing. Every time I read something, it would flash an image of me trying out what I was reading.

On the man in front me.

No wonder something felt really off below my belly button.

Frustrated, I turned the pages. My eyes landed on the article about the fab four new vibrators. Useful information. Extremely useful. Any other time I would've loved to have taken it in. But no. Now the mere thought of a vibrator sent a shocking image skyrocketing through my brain so hard I got whiplash.

My neck protested in pain as I saw myself on a bed, going at it with a vibrator. A very common occurrence. Problem is: the man I usually fantasized about (without wanting to) was in front of me.

Actually there.

Watching me hungrily as I pleasured myself before his eyes...

I swallowed heavily, avoiding any glances at Scott. My face felt hot as the plane began moving down the runway. I stared at the magazine in front of me with utmost determination as I flipped through the pages.

I finally landed on the article about Cameron Diaz. Deciding it had to be a safe subject; I settled in and began reading it.

Last thing I remembered, I had turned to the second page and the plane had taken off, gaining altitude. My ears felt like they had closed up, just like every time. The words began blurring before me. Becoming harder and harder to read.

At some point I fell asleep. I know this because later on I was woken up by a hand on my shoulder.

My eyes snapped open immediately.

"Bella?"

Asshole!

Hissing, I shot up, my head frantically whipping around. Looking for my boyfriend...

Scott was nowhere in sight.

"He went to play pool with some of the others. Downstairs," Edward said, his tone becoming slightly rough.

I scowled, trying to control my heart rate.

Trying to ignore how he looked, kneeling on the floor next to my knees, in that dark shirt and with the sunlight bouncing in his eyes.

Damn him. Damn him for still being beautiful.

Damn him for becoming even more so.

"You have some fucking balls!" I whisper/yelled, dying to strangle him but afraid to call any attention.

"Bella..."

"No! Don't you Bella me! You are a down low, sneaky little..."

His hand shot out. Covered my mouth.

Touching. Me.

Electrical signals were backfiring in my face, the skin now in contact with his swelling and coming to life so violently the tingle almost numbed my lips.

Almost.

The skin there reacted to the image that shot through my mind. Shaking and eyes locked with his I felt my lips almost pucker under his skin. Under where I knew those scars were.

My tongue was aching to trace them...aching to taste what he tasted like again...

Edward blinked, a breath shuddering through him. He blinked slowly, those long lashes moving with the movement. When his eyes opened again they landed back on me.

Hot. Intense.

Penetrating.

My nipples were aching, trying to get control of my hand so that it'd move his into position.

I swallowed heavily, trying to block out the way his body heat just took hold of everything. It leaked into my skin where he touched me and spread from there, a hot wave that left me dizzy as it rose to my head.

My heart was thundering in my ears. The pulsing centered in the middle of my head, a relentless drum, hammering so hard I could feel it in my toes.

"Fuck," he whispered.

One word and I almost arched off the chair. By a sheer miracle of God –high five, Lord- I managed to not move. To remain still. Wide eyed and tensed, I stared at him.

"How?" he whispered, his voice becoming fierce even though it was low. His eyes slammed into me, stabbing me with the turbulence in them.

He was pissed. That I could tell. His face was tense, the lines harsh and dangerous. And if that wasn't enough of a body overload? Behind the anger I could see more.

So much more.

He was hungry for me. It was there, in the deep darkness of his wide pupils. I had tried to convince myself that what I had seen years ago was a lie. That I had imagined the violent need that I had seen in those eyes. That I had blown it out of proportion within my memories.

Here he was, after such a long time, kneeling before me at thirty thousand feet in the air. On his private 'Jet' (Emmett and him are assholes for calling it that by the way. It's a plane. Plane.) on the way to a trip that he was not supposed to be on, forcing me to accept the facts.

The hunger hadn't been imagined.

It was there.

He did want to do to me the things my body wanted to do to him.

Bad information to have. Bad, bad, bad...

And my boyfriend was somewhere on board this plane. So were all our other friends.

If anyone saw this right now...the way he was leaning too close. Almost like he was barely holding back from pouncing on me.

My body shaking, mouth still covered by his hand.

His body mimicked mine, all that restrained energy rippling through those big muscles. The man had to have been hitting the gym harder than before. While nowhere near as big as Emmett, that body had become tighter. Yes, larger.

Fuck me, he was moving. The shirt was tightening around the stomach...

Fuck...was that his abs I just saw?

"How?" he repeated again, making my eyes come back up. "How can you even try to convince me that you can run from this? Look at those eyes."

His words cut me deep. Ripped open a fountain within me that started spewing forth all kinds of weird things. Things that were too raw. Too fragile.

Things that I was not going to contemplate. Never in a million years.

Couldn't put myself in that position again. Even after I left Scott.

No one, and I do mean no one, will ever have that kind of power over me again.

I squeezed my eyes shut, dragging up the last bit of resolve I had deep, deep down, and reached up. In one quick move, I wrapped my hand around his large wrist and pulled his hand from my mouth.

I thought not hugging him the night before had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

No. I was wrong. Letting go of that muscular wrist was.

"It's wrong that you came. Just admit it and maybe we can move on!" I hissed, crossing my arms and huffing.

The fucker smiled at me. Eyes crinkling in the corners.

He looked like...he was looking at a puppy.

A cute one.

Endeared, bitch. Nice one, comparing yourself to a dog.

It fits, no?

'Tis true...

"Bella, I was going to say it's wrong. But I don't care. I didn't have a choice before. I have one now. I'm fighting for you, deal with it," he whispered, leaning closer and looking me straight in the eye.

I had no choice. I closed my eyes, blocking him out.

Please, don't say those kind of things to me.

"You can't say shit like that to me. I have a boyfriend," I said, keeping my voice low.

"The fact that you have a boyfriend does not rob me of my freedom of speech."

"Don't be an asshole!" I hissed again, eyes flying open.

"I'm good at that. Said so yourself many times, remember?"

Stupid jerk!

I couldn't help it. The smile burst through before I could stop it.

He started laughing, trying to keep quiet.

"You are such an asshole!" I gasped, trying to hold back the giggles that were trying to break through.

"See? More evidence."

"No! Stop that!" I whispered in between giggles, aching to slap him somewhere. Hard.

But the fucker was a masochist and every time I hurt him it ended the same way.

We were so not going there, no-no.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!"

Our heads snapped up. Alice was rushing towards us, her Juicy Couture high heel booties bouncing off the carpeted floor as she jogged towards us.

"Alice..." Edward said warningly, actually backing up on the floor as she got closer.

"No! Don't you Alice me! You're such an asshole!" Alice whisper/yelled, running into the seating area and landing on Edward in a flurry of slaps and kicks.

"Alice! What the fuck? Ouch! Get off," Edward grunted, fighting her off by grabbing her wrists from his still kneeling position.

Alice wasn't deterred, bless her soul. She continued to fight him with her legs until Edward just rolled up to his feet in one smooth move, his tall body unfolding to its full height.

"Alice. Stop," he said, looking down at her seriously.

Alice stopped her struggles, looking up at him with a heaving chest.

I watched, sitting on that chair as Edward let go of her wrists. In one fast move his arms were around her, pulling her up and right against his chest.

The look on his face squeezed something painfully inside me. Alice was frozen. I couldn't see her face but I could tell by her body language that she was shocked.

Edward just held her and I blinked, swallowing past the lump in my throat.

Watching as they put on an unknowing replay of him and I last night.

Him hugging. The person in his arms reluctant to hug back.

I hadn't. I hadn't last night. And God help me, because if the way he looked right now was anything like what he looked hugging me, then I just...

I blinked rapidly, feeling a fresh wave of tears trying to burst forth. My hand came up to my mouth, covering it.

I was starting to get afraid Alice wasn't going to move. That like me last night she wasn't going to respond. Well, I did respond but not in the way a normal person should.

Whorella...

I HATE you.

Edward looked like he had been torn apart from missing her so much. His eyes were closed and his nose was in her hair. There was a small, pained furrow in his brow. Her heels made her tall enough to reach his chest where her head was laying, facing away from me.

Her arms were still tense at her sides.

My heart was already broken but the remaining pieces throbbed with pain.

Please hug him back, Alice. Please.

Slowly, Alice exhaled. I saw her small back move, Edward's arms rising with it. Then finally, her arms came up, wrapping around him and squeezing tightly.

Edward didn't open his eyes but the smile on his face made the squeezing in my ribs get tighter.

I blinked, not surprised to feel one single tear slide down my cheek. Hastily, I reached up and brushed it away before either of the people in front of me noticed it.

"I missed you, demon pixie," Edward said into Alice's hair, his voice gruff.

I had to squeeze my eyes shut and swallow roughly to stop another tear from leaking. For God's sake, what a mess I'd become. A completely emotional and very leaky wreck.

I wasn't the only one, though, because Alice's small sniff reached my ears.

"I missed you too, you dick. Five years?"

"I know," Edward said, his eyes squeezing shut tighter.

Ok, at this point I knew for a fact that I had to get up and leave. I couldn't keep watching this. Couldn't keep seeing a pain they shared that I understood all too well...

"Still!" Alice hissed, moving back and slapping him on the chest while wiping her cheek with her other hand. "What are you doing here?"

"I second this question," I chirped in out of nowhere, causing them both to turn and stare at me.

I stared back with an eyebrow raised. What? I honestly wanted to hear what he had to say about that one.

"You know what I'm doing here," Edward said to Alice as his eyes starting doing that attention-robbing-voodoo-thing on me again.

"Stalkers!" Alice snapped, stomping her foot on the carpet.

"Seriously!" I cried, forgetting for a second that attention in my general vicinity was the last thing I needed right now.

Edward threw his hands up, rotating at the waist to look at each of us at a time.

The movement was stretching that damned shirt over his skin again. The fairy and I just zoomed in. Eyes wide, got lost on the sliver of skin that was exposed.

A bet those abs are hotter now.

You will shut up. Got it?

"Edward, seriously," Alice whined. "I don't want to...be near him right now," she finished in a small voice, her arms crossing around her stomach. "Besides, he's in a bad mood."

Edward stared at her, crossing his own arms.

Pecs flexing.

Why was I still sitting in this damned chair?

"His mood is...understandable," Edward said, jaw twitching, lips tensed.

Uh...

"What does that mean, Edward?" Alice asked, tilting her head.

"Damn it, Alice. I don't wanna talk about it."

"What is it about?"

"Guy stuff, Alice. Leave it alone!"

Oh my...

"Alice!" I gasped, getting caught up in what my brain was letting me know. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

Alice had been staring at a red Edward, her own face matching his. "Bella...stop it."

"Alice Cullen, did you really cum all over the Professor's thigh and leave him hanging?" I asked, my inner gossip girl (aka ALICE) taking over.

Edward groaned, smacking a hand over his face.

"You're an asshole!" Alice cried, looking like she wanted to rip my eyes out.

I started laughing. Because I am insane and hysterical-at-any-little-excuse is what I do.

"Shut up, Bella!" Alice groaned. "If anyone shouldn't be laughing it's you."

This, of course, only made me laugh harder, the guilt her comment brought back adding to the snapping of my brain.

"Alice..." Edward said, clearly trying to calm her.

"No!" Alice said, because of course she wasn't going to be calmed. "She's has a boyfriend," she said, turning to Edward.

The laughing was starting to subside. Somewhat. Through my giggles I watched Edward's brow come down as he stared at his sister.

That jaw jumped, trying to get my attention.

And succeeding. Thoroughly.

"That relationship isn't real and we all know it."

I choked. Just choked. Mid-giggle, my windpipe closed up. The cough that followed hurt so much I momentarily saw black. And it was followed by another. And another.

"Bella!" Edward said, appearing in a flash next to me again.

No. No. I was having a hard enough time breathing, this hurt, he needed to stay back...

His large palm came down solidly on my back.

His face appeared before me, brow crinkled with worry.

I coughed into my hand again, feeling my hard nipples rubbing against my tank top.

Damn it!

His hand came down again. I swear, against my will, time slowed down. My attention zoned in on the moment of impact, on the way it felt as if his hand was unleashing electricity into the nerves back there with his touch.

Even as I was having a coughing fit.

This is pathetic.

Truly. What do you plan to do?

Establish some way to keep him at least ten feet away at all times?

Or just jump him and fuck him hard. That'd work wonders for the 'issue'.

I started coughing harder.

Edward was now rubbing circles into my back, looking so bitable in his worry.

In the background I heard feet hitting the stairs.

Then Scott's voice, coming closer.

"Hey, what's with all the commotion up here?"

I inhaled, trying to gasp.

OUCH. That hurt.

A glass of water had appeared before me. I was about to take it when Edward's free hand wrapped around it.

All coughing momentarily seized. My eyes zoomed in on how his fingers wrapped around the glass and that was that.

Temporary brain fail.

Until his hand then came towards me, tilting the glass up towards my lips...the hand that had been on my back was now cupping the back of my head tenderly...

And I could see my boyfriend out of my peripheral vision. Getting closer.

The coughing came back with a vengeance.

"Damn it, Bella. Please take a sip," Edward said, his voice low and concerned and a million other things it didn't need to be with my boyfriend mere feet away!

"Whoa, what happened, babe?" Scott said, rushing forward and moving to take his place by my side.

Problem...

You know what the fucking problem is. You know damned well.

There was someone already cozying up in his place.

God, I understand that maybe it's righteous and all that that I get caught this way. But really? On a fucking a plane? With nowhere to go?

Ouch.

Retribution came hard. I could hear the biblical choir of angels going off somewhere above me.

Hey, we were pretty close at this altitude. Right?

God, just don't strike me down. 'Cause yeah...I'm taking everyone with me if you do. Thanks.

My eyes landed on Edward's. I took the cup from his hand and began drinking the water eagerly. I begged him with my eyes the best way I could.

Begged him to move.

Begged him to not give anything away.

Please...

His nostrils flared for a moment. The way his eyes rapidly blinked and the way his lips tensed let me know how hard he was fighting with himself.

I prayed...

Just as Scott was next to us, Edward slowly moved back, letting me go.

It was so hard not to be obvious about how I stared at him. His body rippled with tension as he moved. When his eyes flickered towards Scott, I saw his pecs flex again.

He stood up fast. So fast that if I hadn't been paying such close attention I wouldn't have seen it before he turned.

But I did.

The fairy flew in front of Scott's face, trying to block him out of my line of sight with her tiny body.

Look at that man. That is one man that is aching to lay claim.

How do you know this?

That wonderful piece of meat I remember so well is hard and ready for us to attack it.

"Babe, what happened? Were you eating anything?" Scott asked, rubbing my back as I drank the water and looking around us confused.

No doubt looking for the food I'd been 'eating'.

"No," I coughed, clearing my throat. "Just swallowed wrong, that's all."

Scott looked at me, a questioning frown playing between his eyes. "That was one hell of a coughing fit..."

"Yeah," I said awkwardly, my face hot from the near death experience I had just gone through.

Scott was still looking at me, his eyes worried. My eyes snapped wide when he reached up and cupped my cheek, his thumb caressing it.

At the edge of my vision, I saw Edward, standing back. Tall in his black shirt. Tense and somehow I could also tell his fists were clenched.

"I worry about you, babe. You're a walking health hazard to yourself. Can't bear to lose you. Ready to admit you need help?" Scott said playfully smirking at me.

My eyes snapped back to his, my body reacting instinctively to his teasing. "You ass!" I gasped playfully, smacking his hand away from my face and trying to kick him.

He laughed, grabbing onto my leg and holding it down.

I giggled, shaking my head at how stupid he was sometimes.

Footsteps, so heavy that they could be heard over the plush carpet, pounded away from us. One look up confirmed what my heavy stomach already knew.

Edward had left, quick strides taking him straight to the stairs then down.

Just like that, I felt like uber bitch.

For what? For having a good time with your boyfriend?

What...what if it's really true? That the relationship was fake? That he hasn't been happy...

Oh, wow. You're really considering this aren't you?

No. No, of course I wasn't.

Was I?

Bitch, you're in denial.

Save it.

---

One hour and seventeen minutes into the flight...

There was an ice cream display.

In a small alcove inside one of the 'hallways' on the bottom 'floor'.

Up against a wall off of the small game room everyone was in.

There. Was. An. Ice. Cream. Display.

Ok, ok, easy there princess...

And it had twelve different flavors of ice cream in it.

Twelve.

One of which had me coming back and diving in.

Literally. My legs and ass were in the air as I bent into the thing and fought with the frozen ice cream to get it into my bowl.

Or straight into my mouth.

Please don't ask me what possessed me. I was clearly having a nervous breakdown. The last twenty four hours of my life hadn't been easy.

My stomach had become a never ending pit and my tongue had officially become an addict. My synapses let loose in chaotic and diverse firework-like displays. They were positively delighted with the amount of sugar I had consumed thus far.

This had to be, hands down, the best fucking cookies and cream ice cream in the world.

The. World.

Mean this.

And where did I happen to stumble upon this fat ass inducing deliciousness? Over thirty thousand feet in the air.

Ironic? Yes. Was I asking any questions? No.

The noise around me disappeared.

The fairy just floated behind me, her face reminding me of an anime character.

Yeah, go ahead. Mock me. You're the one halfway inside an ice cream case.

I shoved the scoop harder into the ice cream. I was starting to wonder how someone got this out of here in the first place!

"Come on," I grumbled, fighting to drag the scoop through the hard ice cream.

"Seriously, girl, here let me help you."

"Eek!" I gasped, my body jerking as I felt heat hit my back.

Well, considering my current position, it was more like my ass.

Oh God.

I actually froze, eyes staring unseeingly at the ice cream before me, my hands still holding bowl and scoop, my body still hanging in the case. I have a very good reason why I didn't move, however. My heart had momentarily stopped.

I kid you not.

I think I felt what death was like then.

The heat moved closer igniting an instant throb. My brain jumped, suddenly afraid that he would be able to see the throbbing through my jeans.

"Here, Beautiful. Move over."

His voice hit me, just as rough as it sounded, grating on nerves that were too sensitive.

I finally started to move, edging backwards to get out of that thing...

Edward stepped in next to me, his body too close to mine, his hands reaching for the bowl and scoop and taking them as I finished sliding out.

I let them go quickly, afraid his hands would make contact. Now standing outside the case, my head tilted back and looked up at him.

We were too close. Too close.

About two inches too close.

He stared down at me with a normal enough expression. But his damned eyes wouldn't play along.

They screamed too much.

Swallowing heavily, I took a quick step back. Then another. He watched me move, still standing there.

I opened my mouth, ready to demand my stuff back so that I could turn around and escape.

Edward walked up to the case and bent in. Since he was tall enough he didn't up hanging into the thing.

But still.

The view.

My God.

That ass...

I know...

My mouth was hanging open. And that's nothing. Edward must have started scooping because suddenly I could see massive waves of back muscles rolling under that shirt. My eyes almost bulged and a part of me had to admit that this situation seemed hopeless. The man's entire back rippled with his movements.

Why, God? Why? Why do I have to react this way to him?

Honey, don't feel bad. You'd have to be either related to him or dead to not react to that.

That's comforting.

I was still standing there like a witless fool when Edward carefully edged out of the display.

For a split second, I was horrified as my eyes froze on his chest. They were ready to devour all in sight when the bowl in his hand caught their attention.

He was holding the bowl, now filled to the brim with cookies and cream ice cream.

He ceased to exist. With single minded purpose, I took one step forward. In one quick swipe, I had managed to take the bowl from him without making skin contact.

I moved so fast that for a moment Edward stood there, his arm still extended from when he had been holding the bowl.

I turned from him on one quick spin and took the last few steps towards where the spoons were. I grabbed a new one. Forgetting about everything except the sweet sugary relief the ice cream promised, I dug right in, big spoonfuls bringing the ice cream to my mouth. In quick succession, the spoonfuls kept going.

Then I almost choked, Edward's low chuckle slapping me across the back of the head.

"See? That's why I served you a lot. I remember that," he said softly. I could hear that he was smiling.

I swirled the big lump of cold ice cream around in my mouth, melting it slowly. Swallowing carefully, I licked my lips and tried very hard to not compute what he had said.

Or how he had said it.

"You have to stop that," I said carefully, keeping my tone low.

Not turning to him because I hadn't gathered up the balls to do so yet.

"Stop what?" he asked lightly.

It just didn't seem physiologically possible what his voice caused in me. It was a voice. Just a voice. Why did everything have to tickle when I heard it?

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. There are certain things I don't need you telling me. I am taken. Stop..."

"Bella, there is only one way that I'm backing off," Edward said, his tone hard.

Light or hard, my stupid body reacted the same.

One look down confirmed what I could feel. Nipples were distended to an extreme.

"What way is that? Please tell me," I said, peaking at him over my shoulder.

He was standing about three feet behind me. As far as the small space would allow.

Still too fucking close.

"Prove to me that we aren't meant to be together. Then I'll go."

"We aren't meant to be together!" I hissed lowly, my veins pounding in denial. How dare he say something to ridiculous to me? I placed the bowl down on the small counter in front of me, my appetite gone. "It should be obvious considering how things have turned out."

"Keep saying that to yourself."

"Excuse me?" I snapped, turning around and glaring at him in the eye.

Edward stared back. Small smirk in place. Eyes squinting slightly as he stared at me hard.

"The day you can let me near you without wanting to run because your body is out of control is the day that you've convinced me you can fight this," Edward said simply, his hand motioning between us on the last part.

My mouth had fallen open slightly. "Do you understand the meaning of the word 'audacity'?" I whispered, truly amazed by the man standing before me.

The corner of his lips twitched.

Needless to say, there was a certain part of my body mimicking the movement.

"Bella, I'm being honest..."

"You're being an asshole."

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

I tried to remind myself that I was no longer a child therefore the foot stomp and whine were not an option. But seriously. God had played a really cruel joke on the women of the world when he allowed something that hot to be born.

And we've had that, the fairy said proudly.

I felt my brow tense as I tried to control my rapidly deteriorating mind. "Why are you such a masochist?" I said under my breath, shaking my head.

"Well, I used to not be one. But you've had that effect on me, what can I say?"

I twitched. "I am so not having this kind of conversation with you."

"Exactly what type of conversation are you talking about?"

I stared at his playfully serious face and fought the urge to bite down on it.

Hard.

Here we go again...

"Stop that," I said tiredly, my body caving under the exhaustion I was feeling. "I have a boyfriend, Edward..."

"You won't even talk to me. Do you hate me?"

The way he asked that question made the ice cream in my stomach roll. His smile was now gone and he was staring at me intently. Like my answer mattered the world to him.

I swallowed heavily, blinking rapidly as I fought the hold of his stare. "I..." Oh, fuck. What was I going to say?

How many times had I convinced myself that I did, in fact, hate him? How many nights full of raging yearning did I spend, thinking about what he had done and who he was with, hating him for all I was worth?

Imagining him giving her his body, over and over again in the same way I had only gotten it once.

Yet...here he stood, in front of me after so long. Telling me that he hadn't had a choice.

That he had never really been with the woman I had believed was his girlfriend this whole time.

That...that there was no one else but me since that night.

My brain throbbed with denial, refusing to accept any of it fully. There was no way that a man like him, a man that I knew for a fact (damn it!) had very, very strong needs, had been waiting for me all along.

There was no way he could have believed all this time that there was a chance between us.

Yeah, right. If any of it was true, what had he been ready to do? Wait forever without companionship because of me?

No way. No way I could openly soak that in and accept it as part of my reality.

"Do you have proof?"

I heard the question leave my mouth. It took me utterly by surprise.

I wasn't even sure I wanted an answer to that.

"About the blackmail?" he whispered, his hands sliding into his pockets.

I swallowed again, feeling my throat begin to dry up. "I...yeah. You said she did it to you and the Professor. Do you have proof?" I asked, actually beginning to shake from how nervous I was.

Part of me still didn't want the answer to that. But another part was twisting and turning, needing to know if there was any irrefutable way I could believe him.

And then what? What do we do with said information?

"We haven't been able to get the pictures back. But that's something that we desperately need to do. Especially the pics of...Alice and Jasper. Ours are innocent compared to those," he said, his face turning slightly pink. He cringed on the last part, looking completely uncomfortable.

I couldn't blame him. I couldn't help but wonder what exactly had those two been up to that was caught on film?

Knowing Alice...

"Where'd they take the pictures of us?" I asked. I probably should have stopped asking questions by then.

But as has been proven many times, my mouth has a mind of its own.

"The front of the building. When we got out the cab..."

"Right," I said, interrupting him before he could get further. Mention of that cab brought up the memory of that cab ride. Of him, intense and feral, clutching me to him in that back seat. His tongue dominating my mouth, his taste sliding into me where it would stay. An imprint that was still very much active within my cellular structure.

Helplessness was starting to weigh heavily on my shoulders. I hated it. Hated feeling, once again, out of control. Strapped into an intense and very painful roller-coaster that hurled me through the fabric of need and slammed me on the other side. Hard. Beaten.

Leaving me destroyed.

The pieces were the hardest to deal with. The small fragments that were left over every time. How they seemed to get smaller with each subsequent ride, small remnants of the girl I once was.

I lost my aunt. One of the most important people to me.

A mere few weeks later, I lost him.

And the tidal wave had taken everything in me with it. Leaving the pieces behind inside me. Showing me an echo of a girl that for a few days had been happy amongst the loss of her aunt even as I became the complete opposite of that.

It was very simple. As much as I hated to admit it, he'd broken me.

Broken me.

No one should ever have that power over anybody. Ever. It just wasn't fair.

"I need you to stop trying to get close to me like that," I said hoarsely, the fear blossoming and spreading inside me.

"I can't help it," Edward said, his voice grave. Low.

I had to lower my eyes to the floor, my pulse throbbing painfully in my neck. "Don't say that..."

"Damn it, Bella. It's the truth. Deal with it."

Just like that he took two steps towards me.

He was facing the way towards the hall.

I was facing the wall. Even as I took two steps back away from him I knew that there was no real escape.

Not without making a scene. And considering that he just took the third and final step, attention was once again on the list of 'Definitely Not Needed'.

"I'll leave you alone. I swear," he said, looking down at me.

I took the final step back, feeling the wall come into contact with my back.

"If," he continued, coming even closer.

I told myself not to pay attention to that rush again. To ignore the pounding thrill that was rearing up, regardless of my will to not be affected.

I had almost no control.

Massive and ultimately destroying pain lay on the other side of that man's realm. Who in their right mind would want to go through that again?

I wasn't suicidal, although there had been times when the pain had gotten so bad that the only escape had seemed death. But I wasn't. I had some self-preservation left. That self-preservation flared inside me as well, trying to beat back the heat coursing through me.

Trying to remind me that the only way to stay safe was to stay away from him.

"Edward..." I said warningly, my eyes darting behind him in case anyone came around.

"If you can convince me, Bella, that this is something you can get rid of then I'll back off. But..." Edward said, his body one freaking inch away from touching mine.

I stared up into his eyes, feeling absolutely trapped.

My thighs were aching to clench together. The need for relief was tightening everything again.

My most major problem in this whole situation was that I remembered everything.

Everything.

The asshole was porn-worthy in bed, and since my stupid self had decided not to have sex with anyone else I was trapped in the spiraling vortex of the memories.

My body hadn't let go of the complete memory of how he could make me feel.

Last night had only added to it.

His eyes flared and for a moment it felt like he had read my thoughts.

"You're just as helpless to this as I am, woman. So stop being so stubborn," Edward said, his hand coming up.

I watched it with wide eyes as it got near my face.

It made contact and nearly sent me flying off the wall and straight onto him. The way my skin tingled instantly when he touched me made me want to lean back and just let him have me.

God, I could just imagin...

"Edward, stop!" I hissed, trying to fight the need to burrow closer into his palm.

His thumb passed lightly over the skin of my cheek, his dilated eyes frozen on the path it took. "Look at you, Bella," he whispered.

I knew he could see them. The goose bumps that had broken forth across my flesh.

When his tongue slid out and across his lips, my own instantly did the same.

Edward's hooded eyes snapped back to my mouth.

Through his own slightly open mouth I could see his teeth clench. Saw the side of his jaw jump as he bore down.

"Baby..."

"Don't call me that," I whimpered. I wanted to reach up and push him back, place my hands on his chest and give one hard shove.

But I couldn't even trust myself to touch him long enough to do that.

"You can prove it to me right now. Easily. Although I already know what the outcome is going to be," Edward whispered, his thumb reaching the corner of my mouth.

Resting there.

Making my breath leave me in a sudden rush.

I stomped down on the urge to ask him how. The way he was looking at me warned me.

His scent annihilated my rationale making it hard for me to focus on why I shouldn't do this.

"Kiss me, baby. Kiss me and prove to me that this isn't as consuming for you as it is for me."

He was so close now. Leaning over me, his lips a few inches away from my forehead.

All I had to do was look up and I'd be aligned.

Right there.

Right where he wanted me to be.

Not doing so was harder than it should have been. The muscles in my neck fought my commands to stay still.

With pure determination, I focused on the floor. On his large feet wrapped up perfectly in fucking Converse sneakers.

"Bella," Edward said gently, his thumb moving below my chin. Softly but firmly, he tilted my head back. I tried to fight it but at the same time didn't have the energy. He eventually won, his eyes coming back into my line of sight.

Seeing those black and big pupils of his had me instantly captivated. It was like looking into the hungry stare of a dangerous animal.

Part of me was rightly scared.

The self-destructive part of me could be heard squealing somewhere below my belly button.

I swallowed again, licking my dry lips without meaning to.

His nostrils flared.

I resisted the urge to fling myself. Either back into the wall or forwards into him.

Either option would be loud.

There had to be another way out of this.

"I have a boyfriend, you selectively deaf man," I grumbled. I could feel my face scrunching up, falling into a pout as I thought over how unfair this situation was.

"I need to kiss you, Bella," Edward whispered, cupping my face again.

Bringing me closer.

My hands did shoot out this time, landing on his chest. Fisting his black shirt.

I neither pushed nor pulled, just held onto his shirt while I trembled and fought with myself.

"Stop," I said weakly, more to myself than to him really.

Which was just as well because the man didn't listen to me anyway.

"One. Give me one. If it means nothing to you, I'll head back home right after we arrive in France."

The prospect of him leaving was so tempting that a part of me wished I could go through with this. Just pucker up and kiss him like it didn't matter.

Like I didn't really care.

Like his lips weren't his but just anyone else's.

Yeah, good luck with that.

I know.

"I'm not going to cheat on my boyfriend again," I said fiercely, reminding myself as much as him of the reality of the situation.

Edward stared at me, looking like he was trying very hard not to appear pissed off. "You haven't been with anyone after me, Bella. There's a really big reason why."

His words slapped me so harshly across the face they left me blinking back tears. "Alice," I said, my chest heaving. "She told you..."

"No," he said, shaking his head. Still cradling my face in his palm.

Still too close for my breathing functions to work properly.

"She told Emmett."

"I'm going to kill him," I growled, my eyes sliding closed from the amount of frustration I was feeling.

With my eyes closed my hearing was magnified. I picked up on the sound of Edward's heavy breathing. Felt the movement of his chest as he inhaled and exhaled.

"I'm not going to kiss you," I said again stubbornly, my eyes still closed. My hands tightened around the material of his shirt, preparing to push back...

"Yes, you are, Beautiful. Even if it's not now, eventually you will. But I really am hungry for that mouth of yours so I'd prefer now."

Damn him.

"Fuck off," I mumbled, still not brave enough to open my eyes.

Edward laughed lowly, the sound making his chest bounce and my nipples almost fall off.

Just throw yourself on him. Seriously.

NO!

Edward's thumb was back at the corner of my mouth. It didn't stop there, however.

My mouth fell open and I could only gasp as his thumb traced my bottom lip. Dipped into the small opening and pressed against the inside of it.

His sharp inhale nearly made me cum. Right there.

I knew, just knew, that I had like two seconds to get him off.

Two seconds or he'd win. I'd lose control.

I'd be sucked back into his sensual atmosphere and trapped there for the foreseeable future.

Until he decided to up and leave again. Because I'm not an idiot. I knew damned well that once I was stuck in his spell again I wouldn't be the one willingly pulling out.

Just like the last time that decision would lie with him. He made it once.

What the hell guaranteed me that he wouldn't do it again?

Doesn't matter anyway. You're still taken.

Of course.

I pulled my head back, trying to escape his electric thumb and the tingles it unleashed. My head ended up slamming against the wall.

Hard.

I barely muffled the curse that wanted to scream out.

"Holy shit! You ok?" Edward whispered, his free hand coming up to cradle the back of my head.

I glared at him, still trying to fight off the expletives that were rolling out of the echoing pain back there. "You're an idiot!"

"What?" he snapped, his wide eyes falling to mine.

Don't do it, Bella. Not unless you're prepared for what's coming. You know where these arguments lead...

I heard what the fairy was saying. Very surprisingly, it was good advice.

Really good.

But it's hard to think and act logically when there's a chaotic stew of red hot hormones and chemicals cooking your brain from the inside out.

"Who do you think you are? Just storming into my life and deciding all on your own that you're going to try and...and...lure me away from my boyfriend. So typical. So freaking ty..."

"Watch it, Hotness. One more out of you and those lips are mine."

Yeah. My mouth snapped shut that quick. I glared at him from behind clenched lips, fuming and yearning to slap him again.

Hard. Next time I was aiming to take out teeth. No matter how pretty they were.

Edward's eyes were raping my mouth. There was no other way to put it. The man was looking at my lips like his teeth were itching to cause damage.

Apparently, he isn't the only masochist because the thought of him doing so made my head want to slam back into the wall.

"Kiss me," he said, his voice low.

I bit down on the shiver that tried to ripple through. "No," I said, teeth still clenched as I fought the need to taste him.

To feel the softness of his lips, the wetness of his tongue...

I hated the fact that I remembered everything. That time hadn't dimmed the sharpness of the images in my head.

"Bella..."

"Bella!"

Edward and I both jumped about four feet in the air. I took the opening when I saw it and caught him off guard. Heart pounding inside me, I pushed back on his chest managing to make enough room for me to duck under his arm.

Rose was standing in front of the alcove, her eyes wide as she looked at Edward and me. I rushed up to her, pleading with my eyes.

She needed to move. I needed to get away. Now.

"Bella," Edward said behind me sounding way too close for my comfort.

Rose snapped out of her daze. Quickly, she grabbed my hand and began pulling me with her.

"Bella! You can run all you fucking want, this isn't over."

Rose and I froze, both in identical positions. Shoulders up and tensed. As one we turned to him and I knew that the looks we threw him were just the same. Pure 'What the fuck did you just say?'.

"I'm not running," I said again, feeling myself quake with fury inside. I hated how sure he was. I hated how egotistical he was being in just assuming that he could walk in and sweep me back up after this long.

"You are," Edward said, sounding so fucking sure of himself. "And that says more to me than anything. So we can play this game all you want but eventually you have to face this."

"I do not need to face anything. You're making it out to be more than it has to be. I don't need to be near you because I already know the real outcome. And nothing you do or say will change that!" I hissed. My face had gone hot from the anger. All I could think about was every photo I had seen of him and Tanya together.

All that agony and for what? For him to think that he can just walk in here and pick up where we left off or something? Even if he was saying the truth about him and Tanya, it didn't erase what I had gone through believing what I had.

"Bella, I assure you. There is much I can do and say to change your mind. It's only a matter of time."

His cockiness made something in me snap. "Bring it on, asshole. I'll show you who's right," I snapped.

Rose grabbed onto my hand again, pulling me backwards. "Ok, it's time to go. Come on," she said hurriedly.

Edward's face had morphed into a wolfish smile that stayed on his face as Rose pulled me out into the hall and towards the stairs.

It's a miracle she didn't end up having to carry me.

His voice drifted to me just before we turned the corner away from him.

"I'm going to ponder that very seriously, Love."

"What the hell did you just do?" Rose whispered.

I blinked, reality beginning to settle in. Then I proceeded to trip.

Oh my God.

Had I?

No.

No way.

I hadn't really. That's not what it was.

No.

You just challenged the man to seduce you?

"You just challenged the man to seduce you!" Rose whispered again, echoing the fairy.

And punching out the last of my tolerance.

"Rose? Where's the nearest hatch?" I asked, looking around me slowly.

"Why?"

"Oh...nothing. Just thought it's time to throw myself off the airplane, no?"

You challenged Edward to seduce you. Thanks for making it easy for me, bitch.

Dear God, no.

Rose called my name as I took off, jogging down the hallway and frantically look around. I needed to find the hatch.

I might take the whole plane down with me and yes, that is selfish, but fuck it.

I had to escape.

My life had officially become a soap-opera. With two guys fighting over the girl included.

I was so not planning on being around to see the conclusion of this mess.

Nope.

You're a coward.

Damn right I am! Now, where the fuck is that latch?