Chapter 10
Sasuke sighs as Naruto drags him through the Uzumaki-Namikaze residence. His own childhood was spent in the dark, gloomy, sad halls of the dreariest of all Uchiha mansions: the Main mansion. Naruto's childhood home is a sharp contrast to Sasuke's. Everything is bright, and happy and so painfully sunny, that Sasuke's overly-sensitive eyes ache at the sight of everything. This place explains Naruto's happy personality easily.
This day isn't the nightmare Sasuke thought it would be, but it isn't exactly pleasant either. The morning started out early, with Kisame cruelly and loudly banging on Sasuke and Naruto's door until they came out, and dragging them outside the warmth of the mansion in the bitter cold, only to shove them inside a car, driving through Konoha at ridiculous speed, and literally dumping them at Minato's feet, who had greeted Naruto with a warm cuddle, and his son-in-law with the coldest, most ball-shriveling glare.
Kushina was a bit kinder, and fed Sasuke breakfast (her pancakes almost as good as Deidara's, but not quite as sweet, because Minato's diet is a lot less saccharine than Itachi's who has quite a sweet tooth). Naruto excitedly told Minato all about Deidara's pregnancy, and how he can't wait to have Sasuke's children, at which Minato had given Sasuke the glare to end all glares. "How dare you pressure my son into pregnancy? He's too young to be a parent."
Sasuke briefly considered trying to explain to Minato just exactly how much Naruto wants children, and how jealous he is of Deidara's recent good news, but thinks better of it and lets Minato threaten him. "If you ever force my son to do anything he doesn't want to, I will make you pay."
"Daddy," Naruto had pouted up at his father, "I want Sasuke's babies." He has seen Sasuke's baby pictures. The bastard was absolutely precious. No sharp angles and sociopathic, demonic tendencies yet, just a sweet little baby with porcelain skin and wide, puppy black eyes. Naruto wants that adorableness replicated as soon as possible. He would de-age Sasuke now if he had the means to and cuddle his baby husband to suffocation.
"That's what he's brainwashed you into thinking." Minato had told his son soothingly. "You're not old enough to be making these kinds of life choices." He has no idea that whenever Naruto looks at Sasuke, his mind displays a giant neon sign screaming baby daddy.
Before Naruto could have even thought of a half-decent response, his mother had placed a bowl of ramen in front of him, and the potential argument had been stopped in its tracks.
Kushina was ecstatic to see her baby eat again, and had watched Naruto shovel bowl after bowl in his mouth proudly, fighting tears in her eyes. She honestly thought Naruto would waste away into nothingness and starve to death.
Minato had thankfully left for work, after cuddling his son again, and Kushina had shooed Sasuke and Naruto away from the kitchen. She did not want them to know anything about the party, which is tomorrow night, and wanted to be left in peace to do her planning. She had spent hours last night talking to Deidara, inquiring about Sasuke's favourite foods, and colors, and pet peeves, and jotting down the guest list and important phone numbers (only the most immediate friends and family - a much smaller list than the wedding, but still an intimidating number of people).
And that's how Sasuke finds himself being dragged around by Naruto, listening to his mate's happy rambling.
"This is where I fell and broke my arm when I was six." Naruto tells Sasuke, as he points to a corner of the upstairs living room. "I cried for hours. I still remember when daddy took me to the emergency room. They had to hold me down to take an x-ray. I was crying so much, I was out of control."
Sasuke feels a growl escape his lips. While his human side is perfectly aware that he can't travel back in time and protect Naruto from getting hurt (especially from an accidental fall), his demon side refuses to see any reason and compels Sasuke to somehow save his mate.
Naruto blinks up at Sasuke. "What's wrong with you?" His husband's doll-like face is contorted in torturous fury.
"Do me a favour." Sasuke murmurs as Naruto leans against him. That warm body a pleasant weight against his. "Don't mention any past injuries."
"Bastard, this weekend is about getting to know each other." Naruto buries his face in Sasuke's shoulder and inhales his husband's elegant, classy scent. The submissive in him purrs seductively at the raw, masculine energy that seems to naturally radiate from Sasuke's being. "I used to get hurt a lot. I was a very clumsy kid."
"Seriously," Sasuke says, a desperate tremor in his voice, "Stop. You're hurting me."
Naruto frowns at the overly deep breathing, indicative of a panic attack. "Sasuke…"
"I couldn't protect you." Sasuke bites out. "I should have protected you."
"That's ridiculous." Naruto laughs incredulously, "You weren't even there. We met a few weeks ago. I moved away from Konoha when I was four. I moved back two months ago. There is no way for you to…"
"I'm sorry." When Naruto looks up, he's staring into the Sharingan. "I wasn't there to protect you." Sasuke says, his voice unnaturally breathy. "I should have been there."
"Sasuke," Naruto says, starting to panic. The deranged look is back, along with something else that Naruto can't quite put his finger on. It's impossible for you to protect me from things that have already happened.He finds himself thinking. "It's okay." Naruto says instead, his tone soothing and soft. "Everything's okay now."
"You forgive me?" Sasuke's voice sounds divided in two. As if another entity is speaking along with him.
"Yes." Naruto says firmly, and lowers his lashes submissively. "I forgive you."
"Thank you," Sasuke says reverently, his very being shuddering from the sheer intensity of the emotion he is feeling, the powerful need to protect and defend Naruto from any and every threat there is, past or present.
Naruto hasn't shown Sasuke the entire house yet, but judging by his husband's condition, Sasuke isn't up to finishing the home tour. "Let's go lie down." Naruto grabs Sasuke's arm and starts slowly leading him back to his room. Sasuke follows Naruto, as if in a daze, and that sudden extra voice that appeared along with Sasuke's disappears as quickly as it came.
What the hell just happened?Naruto asks himself five minutes later, when he's got Sasuke in his bed, laying peacefully on bright orange sheets. The raven's breathing has calmed considerably, and he's staring up at the ceiling, unblinking. The Sharingan seems to have inactivated itself. Did the demon just make an appearance?
"No," Sasuke answers. "He didn't."
Naruto blushes when he realizes he asked the question out loud. "Oh."
"Uchiha demons rarely manifest physically." Sasuke keeps staring blankly up in the air. "Some even say it's impossible for them to appear outside their host bodies."
Naruto releases a breath he doesn't know he's been holding.
"There have," Sasuke continues, "however, been instances of demons taking over their host bodies and controlling them to carry out their own agenda. In the Uchiha family, we refer to that as manual operation."
"It must happen a lot if your family has a name for it." Naruto says weakly.
"Demons don't generally interfere in host lives. They find us boring and tedious." Sasuke says, "The only time I was possessed was during my wild days. I would pass out, or get attacked, and the demon would come out long enough to take me back home safely, or to defend me against attackers. He protected me."
"It." Naruto amends Sasuke's statement. "It protected you."
"The demon identifies itself through me. A male host means male demon characteristics."
"So…" Naruto looks at Sasuke's breathtakingly beautiful face carefully, suddenly noticing the lack of imperfections and the barely there emotion in those dark eyes, "The demon's like you."
"Yes." Sasuke pulls Naruto close so the small blond is lying on top of him, his bride's weight soothing frayed nerves. "Like a less human version of me."
"It's possible for you to be less human?" Naruto asks dryly.
"Yes." Sasuke says after a moment's pause. "Compared to my demon, I am the epitome of kindness and selflessness."
"Oh god." Naruto nuzzles Sasuke's face. "What the fuck did I marry into?"
"Money, good looks, power." Sasuke answers dryly.
"Demons, criminals, insanity." Naruto mimics his husband's tone.
"Doesn't matter," Sasuke places a kiss on a soft whiskered cheek. "You made your choice. Now you are mine forever."
"Yes," Naruto verifies Sasuke's possessive claim, "yours forever."
Naruto's words have an incredibly sedating effect on Sasuke. All of a sudden, he's calm, relaxed, languid even. The dominant male falls into a peaceful doze for the next few minutes, one which is interrupted when his blond starts placing soft kisses alongside his jaw. "What are you doing dobe?"
"I miss Sasuke." Is Naruto's petulant response.
"We haven't been away from each other since our wedding."
"I miss Sasuke." Naruto repeats himself, not able to make his husband understand what he really means. "I feel empty."
Sasuke then realizes that Naruto is talking about sex. Severe eyes soften considerably. "You miss me."
"Even when we're together," Naruto tries to explain himself, "It's not enough. I'm not complete."
The submissive wants Sasuke inside himself, a request that Sasuke wants to honor with every cell of his being.
"I want Sasuke."
"Not here." Is Sasuke's pained response. Quitting heroin has been ridiculously easy because of his demon tenant, but to deny himself Naruto, even for one weekend is going to be agonizing. His demon tenant may shrug heroin and cocaine off like its nothing, but Sasuke's Naruto addiction is in its own league.
"You don't want sex?" Naruto asks suspiciously. "Are you dying?"
"No," Sasuke rolls his eyes, "But I'm not fucking you in your parent's house."
"I want Sasuke in my bed." Naruto pushes the raven down further, until he's sprawled comfortably on soft orange blankets.
"Your mother's downstairs."
"So? She's busy planning your party. She won't come upstairs."
"It's not appropriate to mate in the same house as her."
"Your brother and Deidara are always around." Naruto mumbles into Sasuke's neck as he nuzzles the pale, elegant skin. "That never stops you."
Sasuke turns his head so Naruto has better access. "That's different. They're siblings not parents."
"What if one of them walks in on us during sex one day?"
Sasuke shrugs. "They can stay and watch. At this point, they are probably experts on sex. Maybe they can critique us."
Naruto turns red at Sasuke's words. "That's terrible. You're a pervert."
"You suggested it."
"I was trying to freak you out."
"You failed."
Naruto pouts, a subconscious gesture which drives Sasuke wild every time he does it. "Don't pout at me with those cocksucker lips."
"What?" Naruto asks, confused.
Sasuke sighs. His dobe is too new to sex to understand a blowjob reference. "Remind me to teach you how to give head."
"I don't get it." Naruto whines and presses his face against Sasuke's chest.
"Oral sex." Sasuke tries to clarify.
"Oh," Naruto says, even more confused. "Alright."
"Don't worry," Sasuke coos and runs his fingers through feathery, golden locks. "It will be a while before I expect oral sex from you. For now just lie on your back and spread your legs. I will continue doing all the work."
"I want to help." Naruto mumbles, embarrassed. "I just don't know how."
"That's why I am here." Sasuke nuzzles Naruto.
Naruto yawns and rests his head on Sasuke's chest, letting the strong heartbeat and Sasuke's fingers through his hair soothe him.
"Sleep." Sasuke orders Naruto. "Kisame woke us up too early."
"He's mean too." Naruto whimpers in pleasure when Sasuke gently massages his neck and tense muscles start to loosen. "I can see why he's best friends with your brother."
"Best friends? He's been more of a brother to Itachi than I have ever been."
Naruto raises his head and looks Sasuke dead in the eye. "You know that's not true."
"Itachi has protected me his entire life. What have I ever done for him?"
"You've stayed alive." Naruto shifts until he's eye level with Sasuke. "I don't think he wants anything more from you."
"His standards for me are much lower than those of normal siblings." Sasuke admits.
"His standards are actually pretty high." Naruto rests his forehead against Sasuke's. "Your very DNA is trying to kill you. And you have all those natural self-destructive tendencies. Asking you to stay alive is like asking a cat to not meow."
"You're not supposed to be this smart." Sasuke wraps his arms around Naruto's waist tightly. "You're supposed to be innocent and naïve."
"Just because I don't know all the sex things you do, doesn't mean I'm stupid." Naruto says sagely. "If anything I am smarter than you."
"Is that right?" Sasuke asks, amused.
"Of course." Naruto replies. "I will even help you catch up with school work. I have all the notes, and assignments done. And I can help you study for the exams."
He thinks I need help with whatever imbecile material Konoha High is shoving down its student's throats."I'll be fine, dobe. Don't worry about me."
"I want you to do well in school."
"I will be fine." Sasuke says firmly. "Stop worrying."
"If you fail I will never forgive you." Naruto whispers, "You said in our vows that you would protect me. I said I will always keep you by my side. You can't protect me if we're not in the same class. I don't want you to fail. Then we won't be together anymore."
"Dobe," Sasuke finds Naruto's clingy behavior very appealing. "I'm telling you, there's no way anyone can fail me. Believe me." With Kakashi in Konoha High, Sasuke is untouchable.
Naruto gives Sasuke a suspicious look. "Are you planning on cheating on your tests?"
"I don't need to cheat." Sasuke has occasionally thought about using his Sharingan to copy his fellow students' answers, but the material was never challenging enough for him to resort to that. "Uchiha are geniuses. We don't cheat at anything."
"Genius." Naruto wonders to himself. "Does that mean our babies will be geniuses too?"
"There's a high genetic probability of that, yes."
"I don't want my babies to be smarter than me." Naruto pouts, already having forgotten Sasuke's warning about his arousing, plump lips. "They'll think their mommy is stupid and they won't love me."
"Our children will worship you." Sasuke kisses Naruto's left cheek, unable to help himself. "You are warm and sunny and everything a depressed Uchiha child wants in a mother. It's me they will probably hate. Fathers in my family aren't exactly popular."
"I won't let our babies hate their daddy."
"You can't force them to love me."
"The hell I can't." Naruto snaps.
"Every child has a favourite parent." Sasuke pulls Naruto even closer, so the dobe is pressed right up against him. That soft, perfect body so incredibly pleasant. "I don't stand a chance against you. You are more lovable."
"Well that's true." Naruto yawns again, sounding tired. Sasuke kept him up all night, and the evil shark woke them up at an ungodly hour. "Our babies can't help it if they have good taste."
"You're the mother. You have an unfair advantage. Fathers are more difficult to relate to. Especially if they are Uchiha men."
Naruto just lets out a soft sigh. "I don't care which one of us they love more, as long as they are happy."
Sasuke doesn't bother telling Naruto that Uchiha children are doomed to unhappiness since the day they are born. He just strokes soft, feathery hair, gently luring the small blond into peaceful sleep.
"Sasuke chan." Kakashi holds up a poorly wrapped gift. "Happy birthday."
Sasuke looks at the package suspiciously. "It's porn again, isn't it?"
"Have you been a good boy this year?"
"It's not Christmas, and you're definitely notSanta."
It's a peaceful Saturday evening, and Kakashi looks annoyingly casual when compared to his fellow guests, no suit or tie. He hasn't even bothered to comb his hair, silver mane messy in the breeze flowing serenely in through the window.
Kakashi shoves the gift in Sasuke's arms despite his protests, and nods at Naruto. "I'm Kakashi. Sasuke's mentor."
"I know who you are, sensei. I'm in your class." Naruto says.
"You are not my mentor."
Kakashi looks past Naruto's shoulder and his one visible eye widens slightly. "Alrighty then. Enjoy the party, children." That said, he shoves past Sasuke, and starts climbing out the open window.
"Seriously?" Minato who comes over and stands by his son says, "You are really going to do that?"
Kakashi doesn't stop; too busy taking both legs out the window.
"I miss you." Minato pleads just as Kakashi is completely out. "I just want to talk."
The plea falls on deaf ears. Kakashi quickly disappears.
"What a jerk." Naruto grabs his father's hand and squeezes it gently.
"Would you like me to retrieve him?" Sasuke asks blandly. "It will be difficult, but there's a lot of strong people around and I can take some with me. It will take a while but we should be able to hold him down while you talk at him. It's the only way to deal with Kakashi when he's being difficult."
Minato scowls. "I know how to deal with Kakashi better than you ever could." That said, the taller blond gently frees his hand from Naruto's and walks away.
"I was just trying to help." Sasuke mutters.
"I know." Naruto wraps his arms around Sasuke's waist. "Daddy's just upset right now."
"Kakashi will do that to you." Sasuke frowns as Minato disappears around a corner. "What exactly happened between them anyway?"
Naruto shrugs. "I don't know. I didn't even know Kakashi sensei existed until we moved back to Konoha."
"I am so fucking bored right now, I am going to fall asleep on my feet." A tall, silver-haired male walks around the corner, "What the fuck kind of party is this? No booze, no strippers, no coke. You used to be fun, Sasuke."
"Kakuzu's whore," Sasuke introduces Hidan to Naruto.
"Nice to meet you." Hidan holds out a hand to Naruto, which is hesitantly accepted. "So tell me, how big is Sasuke's dick?"
Naruto lets out a loud squeak.
"Don't be an ass." Sasuke warns. "I willhit you."
"What's the point of being bottom if I can't compare my man's size to others?" Hidan shrugs and then turns to Naruto again. "What kind of kinky sex play is Sasuke into? Does he tie you up? Are you allowed to masturbate? I'm not. Kakuzu won't even let me touch myself."
Naruto frees his hand from Hidan's grip forcefully and buries his face in Sasuke's shoulder out of shame. His blush is so hot, it feels feverish.
"You're scaring him." Sasuke glares at Hidan. "Stop it."
"What kind of lubricant do you use as a spoiled Uchiha couple?" Hidan ignores Sasuke's threatening tone. "Kakuzu is such a cheapskate. He tries to buy whatever's on discount, but I don't let him. I like that fancy tingly lube. My pleasure is important too you know. I'm the one dealing with his monster dick."
Naruto lets out a mortified moan and clings to Sasuke even harder.
"Kisame went out and bought booze." Kakuzu comes looking for his mate and calls out when he finds him. "I'm going to go get wasted upstairs. You coming?"
"Whatever." Hidan shrugs. "I'm chatting up the latest member of the rich bitches club."
Kakuzu gives Sasuke's shivering mate a bored look. "What's wrong with him? Did Hidan make him cry?"
"This one's all shy." Hidan then reaches out and grabs Naruto's bottom and gives it a rough squeeze. "His ass is perfect though. Sasuke's dick must have died and gone to heaven."
Sasuke holds his dobe away from Hidan. Naruto whimpers like a wounded animal. "He's traumatizing my mate. Control him, Kakuzu."
"Why start now?" Kakuzu shrugs at Sasuke carelessly and turns around to walk away. "Hurry up and come upstairs," He says to Hidan over his shoulder. "Free booze."
"I'm not gonna go get drunk just because there happens to be alcohol that someone else paid for." Hidan yells at Kakuzu. "I will drink when I feel like it."
"I'm not paying for that."
"You cheap motherfucker. You don't deserve me." Hidan glares daggers Kakuzu's back.
Deidara nods at Kakuzu as he walks past him. "Naruto," Deidara comes over to Sasuke and the frightened blond who's plastered to his back. "Did Hidan scare you, un?"Hidan scares everyone unfortunate enough to encounter him.
"I did not!" Hidan says indignant. "He's the one pretending to be a blushing virgin."
"Come here." Deidara gently separates Naruto from Sasuke and places a soft kiss on a whiskered cheek. "Don't worry about Hidan, un. He has a lot of mental issues."
Naruto nods slowly as Deidara starts leading him away from Hidan. "We'll cut Sasuke's cake in about two hours, but how about I sneak you a piece early. You want some cake, un?"
"How come he gets cake early?" Hidan starts following Deidara and Naruto, even though they are trying to get away from him. "I want cake. I haven't even eaten lunch. My husband starves me to save money."
"He does not, un." Deidara rolls his eyes at Hidan. "Now you're just exaggerating."
"I want cake."
"No cake for you until the birthday boy cuts it, un."
"You stupid fucking cocksucker." Hidan growls at Deidara. "Do I have to be an Uchiha's bitch to get any kind of favours from you?"
"You have to be polite."
"Fine," Hidan grunts. "May I have some cake, please?"
"No. Only Naruto gets some before Sasuke. No one else."
"You dumb blond whore!"
Sasuke starts to follow the three males, but is stopped by Gaara's voice. "Let them go."
The redhead holds three champagne flutes in his hands, while Neji holds up a bottle of the champagne the Hyuuga family obsessively hides in their basement for what they consider special occasions.
Sasuke accepts a glass from Gaara while Neji pops the bottle open. "How the hell did you manage to sneak this out of your house?" The Hyuuga family is more protective of its champagne than it is of the Byakugan, which is worrisome considering there are organizations out there dedicated to kidnapping Hyuuga children and ripping out their eyes.
"I had Hinata create a diversion."
Neji pours liberally for Gaara and himself, but only a small sip for Sasuke, whose alcoholism is a source of concern for many.
"I honestly thought we would spend your seventeenth birthday by your grave." Gaara tells Sasuke.
"No depression allowed tonight." Neji takes his glass from Gaara and raises it in the universal gesture for a toast. "To the birthday boy."
They clink glasses, Sasuke takes his one sip of alcohol for the night while Gaara and Neji down their glasses at a more luxurious pace.
"Delicious, isn't it?" Neji asks arrogantly.
Gaara shrugs. "No different than any other pretentious champagne."
"As expected, Gaara." Neji says carelessly. "You have bad taste in everything."
Sasuke raises an eyebrow at Gaara. "Are you still dating the green beast?"
"Of course." Gaara confirms.
"How do you survive that annoyance?"
"If you had seen his body you wouldn't be asking that question. He works out obsessively. His abs are ridiculous."
"God help us all if he decides to ask you to marry him." Neji sighs, "He will probably create a dazzling display of fireworks and spring flowers to symbolize eternal youth and love."
"We will all die of second-hand embarrassment."
"Who are you to judge?" Gaara asks Sasuke. "You proposed to Naruto in a ramen hut."
"It was simple and elegant."
"It was tacky." Neji mutters, already pouring himself a second glass.
"Easy there." Gaara warns. "We're supposed to be setting a good example for Sasuke."
"How are you and Shikamaru doing?" Sasuke asks Neji, already dreading the answer even though he knows exactly what it's going to be. "Please tell me it's getting somewhere."
"I'm not even sure Shikamaru knows Neji exists." Gaara answers for Neji.
"He knows I exist." Neji says crankily.
"You've asked him out, right?" Sasuke asks, terribly worried, again already knowing the answer. "Tell me there's been at least one date."
"Shikamaru goes on a lot of dates," Gaara answers again, "Just not with Neji."
"There's competition?"
"Well let's see," Gaara continues, "Neji's competing with Ino, Tayuya and Shiho, and that's only the girls I know of. There are definitely others out there."
"I think I have a headache." Sasuke massages his forehead.
"Neji needs to be more assertive." Gaara explains.
"Neji is right here." Neji grumbles. "Stop talking about him as if he's not."
"Gaara's right," Sasuke says, "You need to do something more obvious, or Shikamaru won't notice. Coy flirting is not going to work with a Nara."
"He's a genius."
"And oblivious as fuck. Even Naruto knows you like Shikamaru, and he's been here a few weeks." Sasuke says, "Shikamaru's father is best friends with Ino's parents. They will probably try to arrange their marriage and strengthen their relationship by trying to create a blond, genius grandchild."
"Can you imagine Ino pregnant?" Gaara shudders despite himself. "Can you imagine the noise, the mood swings, the morning sickness?"
"Deidara's pregnant." Sasuke shrugs. "We've barely even noticed."
"Different blonds, different personalities, Deidara is tough. Ino gets a paper cut and the entire class hears about it for days."
"Can we please stop talking about the love of my life reproducing with someone else?"
"It's going to happen if you don't do something about it. Shikamaru and Ino are highly compatible. Hell, Chouji and Shikamaru are highly compatible. That lazy ass looks good with a lot of people."
"And I'm somewhere on the bottom of the list." Neji says self-deprecatingly. "The last person he would even consider for any kind of amorous activity."
"Great," Gaara takes the bottle from Neji's hand and places it aside... carefully. The thing is worth quite a lot. "We just saved Sasuke from his tragedy, and your saga begins."
Sasuke pulls out his phone and starts texting.
"I'm sorry." Neji says, his tone sarcastic and acidic. "Is it too much to ask for you to actually pay attention when I'm baring my soul?"
Sasuke pockets his phone again. "I am doing this for your own good."
Before Neji can even begin to question Sasuke, Shikamaru comes around the corner.
Gaara gives Neji (who has the dumbest, most stricken look on his face) an apologetic look. "It was Sasuke's idea and I'm just going to go along with it."
"How do you have my number?" Shikamaru asks the birthday boy. "Why are you getting drunk in the dark when your party continues without you?"
"I was thinking about school," Sasuke ignores Shikamaru's inquiries. "I am very far behind. It's not going to end well for me. I'm going to fail this year and be left behind while all my peers move on, including Naruto."
If Shikamaru is suspicious at Sasuke's overly pleasant and fake tone, he doesn't show it.
Gaara and Neji both know Sasuke is a genius, and couldn't fail if he tried. Kakashi always cooks up some way to make sure he passes, like he has in the past. Kakashi's even gone as far as to hack into the school's mainframe to manually change Sasuke's grades and has bribed his fellow teachers to make sure the Uchiha at least gets a passing score. To this day, every time Asuma sensei goes out to eat, Kakashi pays for it.
"That's a drag." Shikamaru says blandly. "What do you want me to do?"
"I just mentioned how amazing your grades are." Gaara adds, his own tone so saccharine it makes Neji flinch. "We were hoping you could tutor Neji."
"I should tutor Neji?" Shikamaru asks, confused. "What's wrong with his grades?"
"Nothing," Gaara continues, the fake grin still painted on, "He's doing fine. But he needs to do much better than fine if he wants to tutor Sasuke."
"You want me to tutor Neji," Shikamaru asks, perplexed, "So he can tutor Sasuke?"
"That's exactly right." Sasuke says.
"We knew you would get it." Gaara keeps smiling.
"Why don't I just tutor Sasuke directly?" Shikamaru narrows his eyes. "Isn't that easier?"
"I don't think it's safe for you to be alone with Sasuke." Gaara says. "He has issues."
"Why doesn't Kakashi tutor him?"
"He doesn't want to." Sasuke sighs, "He's given up on me."
"Really?" Shikamaru recalls the day back in kindergarten, when the Uchiha heir had fallen and skinned his knee, and teenage Kakashi had carried a sobbing Sasuke to the nurse in his arms, clutching him against his chest, all the while whispering comforting words in dark hair. "Isn't he your godparent?"
"Not a very good one." Sasuke says, as Gaara nods along. "He loved me when I was a cute kid." Kakashi is actually a big reason why Sasuke's mind is as razor sharp as it is now, due to early childhood tutoring, but Shikamaru doesn't need to know that. "When the teen years hit, he lost all interest. He says I'm not cute anymore." Again, not true. Kakashi thinks Sasuke is absolutely precious.
"That does sound like Kakashi." Shikamaru admits. "What about Itachi?"
"Itachi's too busy running the family business. He has a lot going on in life. I don't want to burden him."
"What about Naruto?"
"That dumb blond?" Sasuke scoffs. "He's worse than I am." Naruto essentially has a pretty good handle on all subjects, and can teach Sasuke anything through a sophisticated sexual reward system, but again, Shikamaru doesn't need to know that.
"Deidara? He's a university graduate with honors."
"An Arts major. Useless in other subjects." That's actually true. Deidara could care less about anything that isn't about drawing, sculpturing, fashion and when the mood strikes him... explosions.
"Kisame?"
"Cheated off Itachi all through school."
"Kakuzu?"
"Will beat me to death once he realizes he's not getting paid."
"Why don't you just pay him?"
"We can't afford him."
"You're an Uchiha. You're filthy rich."
"Still can't afford Kakuzu's hourly rate."
Neji watches his childhood friends incredulously. You bastards have an answer for everything, don't you?Clearly they have planned this in advance.
"What are you having trouble in?"
"Math, Science, History, you name it he's having trouble in it." Gaara answers. "This drug-addled idiot hasn't opened a book in months."
"So, I teach Neji," Shikamaru says, scratching his head, "And he teaches Sasuke?"
"That's exactly right."
"Okay," Shikamaru shrugs. "Sounds troublesome, but whatever."
"Wonderful." Gaara and Sasuke say together. Neji's eyes widen.
"So," Shikamaru turns to Neji. "What time should we meet?"
"This Monday after school." Gaara says, "We have taken the liberty of making reservations for you at that new restaurant downtown."
"Reservations?" Shikamaru asks, "For tutoring?"
"You have to discuss my lesson plans, silly." Sasuke smirks. Neji flinches. Gaara keeps smiling like a demented racoon. "What better place to do that than a nice, quiet restaurant?"
"Okay." Shikamaru goes along with the oddness. "What's your number?" He asks Neji.
"Here," Gaara takes Shikamaru's phone and enters Neji's number in swiftly. "Allow me."
"Thanks," Shikamaru nods and accepts his phone back. "See you on Monday." He says to Neji, "Happy birthday, Sasuke." He then adds and walks away.
"Thank you." Sasuke drawls after him sweetly.
"You are both assholes." Neji tells Gaara and Sasuke once Shikamaru is out of earshot.
"And you are a sad little boy who needs to grow some damn balls." Sasuke growls at Neji and then proceeds to show Gaara a series of outfits on his phone, that he's picked out for Neji's 'date' with Shikamaru.
Neji should be annoyed with his friends for being so meddlesome and intrusive, but the only thought that crosses his mind is I missed this.
Sasuke's birthday party is not nearly as wild as his wedding reception but it's still an energetic gathering. People have broken off into small groups. Laughter and the sound of three dozen people loudly talking over each other fills the room.
"Why do your clothes still fit you?" Hidan questions Deidara where he's cutting a slice from Sasuke's cake for Naruto. "Aren't you supposed to be getting bigger? Are you faking a pregnancy to get your creepy husband to pay more attention to you? I tried that one. Kakuzu didn't buy it."
"Why are you even here?" Deidara grumbles at Hidan. "It's Saturday. Shouldn't you be praying to that god of yours, un?"
"Jashin sama doesn't care where we worship as long as death and destruction is in our hearts."
"Right." Deidara sighs as Naruto inches even further away from where Hidan is sitting. "Try not to pull anything weird tonight. It's Sasuke's birthday, un."
"I want cake."
"You will get some when Sasuke cuts it." Deidara says as he hands Naruto a plate full of cake. "Here you go, baby. Enjoy. It's Sasuke's favourite, un."
Naruto tastes the plain looking cake and is surprised to find it quite delicious, not as sugary as regular cakes, but with a spicy undercurrent he can't put his finger on.
"We're having cake already?" An orange-haired young man joins them and gives the plate in Naruto's hand a hungry look. "Is that the weird dessert thing Sasuke likes?"
"You will all get cake when Sasuke cuts it, un." Deidara says sternly.
"How come blondie gets it before everyone?" Hidan gives Naruto an acidic look.
"You upset him. Cake will make him feel better. He's Sasuke's bride, his husband won't mind if he has some before he cuts it, un."
"Kakuzu hides everything from me."
"That's because you would spend it all on weird cult stuff."
"Jashinism is legit." A few years ago Hidan would have tried to attack Deidara for being disrespectful toward his religion. Now he replies calmly. It's either a personal growth of some kind, or a deeper escalation into bizarre delusion. "It's the answer to basically every problem."
"So… the answer to every problem is death?" Deidara asks.
"Exactly."
"I would have introduced myself at your wedding, but your husband took off with you before I had the chance. I'm Yahiko," The young man smiles pleasantly at Naruto, who shrinks back as if trying to disappear into the sofa cushions. "Shy, are we?"
"Yes," Deidara glares, "Hidan scared him. Now he won't talk, un."
"Hidan is harmless." Yahiko assures Naruto. "Just don't let him corner you somewhere alone."
Naruto whimpers as Deidara chastises Yahiko for speaking the truth. "Don't scare him even more. He's already scarred for life, un."
"Ten minutes with Hidan and already scarred for life, that sounds about right." A blue-haired woman takes a seat between Naruto and Hidan, much to the small blond's immense relief. "Konan," she extends a hand. "Yahiko's mate."
"Hello," Naruto takes the hand, surprised at the ring he finds on her hand. It's the same one Yahiko is wearing. He's never seen a couple wear matching rings before. Usually the wife wears a fancy ring, and the husband a simpler band. Both Yahiko and Konan's hands sport heavy, priceless diamonds.
"Fancy, right?" Yahiko guesses what Naruto is thinking, and laughs at his stricken look. "We wanted plain rings, but Nagato went all out."
"Nagato?" Naruto asks weakly.
"Our husband." Konan answers.
"They are poly-amorous." Deidara explains patiently. "Yahiko and Konan share a husband."
"I think I need to go lie down." Naruto lifts a hand to his forehead. "This situation is too much for me to handle."
"We grew up together." Konan says, "When it came time to choose a mate, Nagato had to pick between us."
"But the big sap couldn't bear to part with either one of us," Yahiko laughs, "So here we are."
Naruto massages his forehead. "How can you share a husband? I don't get it." He mutters.
"That's what I said when they had that retarded three-way wedding." Hidan throws his hands up. "Three bitches, one house. Disastrous."
"Still a better marriage than you and Kakuzu."
"Jashin sama has blessed us with a lot of happiness." Hidan says, his calm and civilised manner again, very unnerving. "No reason to be jealous."
"Who is Jashin?" Naruto asks weakly. "Do you have another husband too?"
"I wish I was married to Jashin sama." Hidan scoffs. "I had to settle for Kakuzu's cheap ass."
"Don't ask about his religion." Konan warns Naruto.
"Don't go there, un." Deidara adds to the warning.
"You're not ready for that." Yahiko shakes his head.
"Alright." Naruto agrees quickly. He's already regretting asking.
"Would you like to participate in one of our ceremonies?" Hidan asks Naruto politely. "You look like a perfectly adequate human sacrifice."
Naruto lets out a shriek and darts out of the room. Deidara shoots Hidan a withering glare and goes after him. Yahiko quickly grabs Naruto's abandoned plate.
"Is it just me…" Konan asks the men in her company, "or do we not make good first impressions?"
Yahiko ignores her and makes pleasured noises as he devours Naruto's cake. Hidan watches him hungrily. "Fucking bitch could have given me a piece."
Konan sighs and leans back against the cushions. I'm doomed to never make any new friends again.
"Naruto." Deidara follows the younger blond at a slow and steady pace. "We are not going to let Hidan sacrifice you, un."
Naruto stops outside his bedroom door, and after opening it, is mortified to realize that there is a young, incredibly sexy couple fornicating on his bed. At first, the blond watches the sight in front of him mesmerized and horrified – two well-muscled males moving together, their toned bodies and animalistic grunts incredibly loud in the silence of the room - but his voice eventually finds Naruto and he croaks, "You sick perverts!"
The seme, a ginger-haired male, growls at Naruto threateningly. The blond doesn't even flinch. "I don't care how scary and horny you are. Get out of my room. You can't hump here."
"Give us five minutes." The uke, a white-haired number with vivid green eyes, and skin so pale even Sasuke would be envious. "We just need to come."
"Not on my bed." Naruto positively shrieks. "No fluids on my bed. For the love of god, get off my bed."
"Jugo, Kimimaro." Deidara comes and stands beside Naruto, and crosses his arms across his chest in a very disapproving manner. "Off, now."
The couple starts moving despite firm orders, and Naruto blushes furiously to realize that Jugo is balls deep inside Kimimaro and the couple is too close to orgasm to care about the two blonds in their company.
"Like animals, un." Deidara shakes his head.
Naruto feels as if his head will explode. He is ashamed to realize that his own body is starting to respond to the pornographic vision. Naruto quickly closes his eyes and starts thinking unsavoury thoughts, like that time he accidently walked in on his grandmother naked.
Deidara doesn't bother looking away. One advantage of being uke is that watching another couple have sex doesn't really get one in trouble. A seme wouldn't tolerate another seme watching him fuck his uke, but other submissives are always welcome. Jugo enjoys the presence of the two blonds, and even preens and flexes his muscles as he thrusts brutally hard and fast into Kimimaro's welcoming body.
Oh god, Naruto prays internally. Please get me through Sasuke's birthday alive. His friends are crazy.
"Harder," Kimimaro orders Jugo, and the alpha male obeys.
Jugu forces himself to precisely aim for Kimimaro's prostate despite the extreme fog of lust which clouds his every sense, and after a few moments, Kimimaro lets out a pained howl, as if he's being murdered. Jugo allows himself to orgasm after making sure his mate has received his pleasure. After grunting and releasing into the slender male's body, the seme allows himself a couple of seconds of rest, and then gets off Naruto's now soiled sheets, taking Kimimaro with him, who barely has enough strength to wrap his legs around his mate's waist.
"We need to use your shower," Jugo's voice is hoarse and rough as he starts walking toward Naruto's bathroom, carefully carrying his submissive. Kimimaro sighs as Jugo places soft kisses on his throat.
"Is it over?" Naruto whimpers when he hears the shower running. "Please tell me it's over."
"I think it's continuing in your shower, un."
"Shameless idiots." Naruto grumbles as he glares at the mess on his bed. "They had sex in my bed, before Sasuke and I could. Assholes."
"You can fume later, un." Deidara quickly moves toward Naruto's bed and strips it of all bedding.
"I will burn these sheets." Naruto wrinkles his nose.
"You might just have to, along with your mattress." Deidara opens the balcony door, and throws the soiled sheets outside. "If Sasuke smells Jugo on your bed, he will go berserker, un."
"It's not my fault his slutty friends had sex on my bed!"
"Sasuke won't see reason when he smells another seme in your sheets, un."
"Ugh," Naruto throws himself on his favourite arm chair (which is a crispy, burnt orange). "I should sue those two horny bitches."
"Kimimaro's family disowned him when he ran off with Jugo, so I doubt they have much to give you."
"So complicated." Naruto massages his forehead. "Do all of Sasuke's friends have such complex backstories?"
"Yes."
"I have a headache."
"Why don't you take a nap before Sasuke cuts his cake, un?" Naruto looks as if he'll faint. He is pale because of the activity he has just witnessed.
"There is nowhere to rest. My bed has been raped."
"You won't be sleeping in this room much anyway. Especially if Sasuke has anything to say about it, un." Deidara pats Naruto's head, allowing his hand to linger in feathery blond locks for a few seconds.
"I want Sasuke in my bed." That bed wasn't dear to Naruto in any sense. It was the place where he had most of his nightmares, and he needs to sleep in it one more time, with the person who chases his nightmares away, to move on from the darkest period of his life. Catharsis is a necessary part of personal growth.
"The sheets are gone," Deidara gets up, and goes to the bathroom. "Maybe we can still salvage this." He finds some fabric freshener and starts spraying the bare mattress liberally. "Jugo's scent should eventually dissipate. But you need to give it time. Don't sleep here tonight, un."
"You probably think I'm some kind of baby."
"You are a baby. I like that about you, un." Deidara empties the freshener bottle. And starts fanning the air to try and air out the heavy scent of sex faster.
"You like things about me?"
"I like lots of things about you, un."
"You don't want to compete with me? You aren't threatened by me?"
"Why would I be?" Deidara wouldn't be threatened of Naruto any more than he would be of a puppy.
Naruto is surprised at Deidara's answer, and very, very confused.
"You saved Sasuke's life. I owe you gratitude, not petty intimidation tactics." Naruto is the single reason Sasuke isn't a burnt corpse and Itachi hasn't gone into a suicidal rage as a result. "Itachi sama loves Sasuke more than he loves himself, more than he loves me. This loss would have absolutely crushed him. He could have never moved on from his baby brother's death. You saved my husband's life, un."
Naruto is starting to realize that he created a persona of Deidara in his head which is starting to prove false.
"I would never intentionally make you uncomfortable, un."
"When I first met you, I just saw you as the person I will never be as good as. I thought…" The next part is especially difficult for Naruto to admit out loud. "I thought Sasuke wanted to be with someone like you."
"You couldn't be more wrong. Sasuke needs someone like you, a playmate who constantly fights him and proposes a challenge for him, un."
"I still think it's unnatural how nice you are to me." Naruto was expecting a lot of competition and insane jealousy.
"I think it's unnatural you think I'm like our mother-in-law."
Naruto has heard some pretty horrible stories about in-laws. The very thought that he has to deal with his very own now is seriously upsetting.
"Mikoto hates me, un." Deidara glares, it's the first time Naruto has seen him do so, and the older blond is as sensual in fury as he is when happy and pleasant. "She blames me every time Itachi sama doesn't visit her. He's just trying to avoid his father." Deidara scoffs, "He's also busy all the time, un."
While Deidara is ranting about Mikoto, Naruto starts thinking of ways he can avoid his mother-in-law. He also starts thinking of what he's seen his parents do to keep their spouses' parents away. Kushina for example, disappears from the house for hours at a time doing "groceries" when her in-laws come to visit. Minato sleeps at the office every time Kushina's mother comes to stay with them.
Deidara continues to vent. "You know what she said when she called this morning? I hope my grandson isn't a blond.What kind of thing is that to say? I hope she burns in hell, un."
Naruto silently curses himself for marrying a male whose mother is still alive.
"She hates me. I will never be good enough for her son, un."
"The curse creates soul-mates, right? That means you are the perfect person for Itachi."
"Tell Mikoto that, un."
"You should just avoid her." It's what I'm going to do until she dies.
"I try but she hunts me down every time, un."
"Try harder." Naruto has come to a new conclusion. Deidara couldn't care less about what Naruto does, as long as Sasuke is alive and happy. The relief washes over him in an awesome wave.
"I don't care anymore. Every time she attacks me I just attack her back. Itachi sama refuses to interfere between us, un."
Naruto has new appreciation for Itachi's intelligence.
"Sometimes," Deidara says dreamily, "I fantasize about exploding her, but that would upset my husband so I refrain from acting out my desires, un."
When Itachi comes looking for them, he finds Deidara in a happy daze and Naruto giving him a horrified look. There is an uncomfortable lingering scent of heavy sex in the air. "What happened here?" Itachi's nose wrinkles. It's a sign of his maturity that he hasn't thrown a psychotic tantrum at the mere closeness of Deidara's scent to another dominant male's. "Someone better have an explanation." Just because he trusts his bride doesn't mean he's happy.
"Sasuke bastard's friends are out of control."
"I definitely smell the Kaguya boy." Itachi's expression is that of disgust. "The smell of raw bone is repugnant."
"Raw bone?" Naruto looks confused. "Where are you getting raw bone from?"
"Kimimaro's family carries some distinct traits." Itachi places a hand over his face. "They all smell like bone."
"Is it time to cut the cake already?" Naruto asks.
"Sasuke wants to get it over it so you two can fornicate." Itachi's eyes water from the stench. "How can you stand this smell?"
"Our nose isn't as sensitive as yours, un."
"This is a punishment," Itachi quickly grabs Deidara's hand and starts to walk out. "I think I will faint."
"You are such a princess." Naruto says disbelievingly, as he starts to follow them.
"He's got the nose of a blood hound, be nice, un."
When they're outside, Itachi inhales clean air greedily, and then warns Naruto. "Don't let Sasuke in your room. He won't be able to stand it."
"Why should I suffer because Sasuke's friends are dumb whores?"
"Naruto," Deidara says as he massages Itachi's shoulders comfortingly, the smell of Jugo's semen has been quite a shock to his system. "Always listen to your brother-in-law when it comes to Sasuke. He knows his baby brother best. If Itachi sama is having so much trouble with the sex scent, it's no telling what it will do to Sasuke, especially since it's in his mate's room, un."
"Yeah, yeah." Naruto grumbles and flamboyantly gestures to Itachi, "His highness is the queen of the world, and we're all his loyal subjects."
"I thought I was a princess."
"I amend that statement." Naruto smiles at Itachi sweetly. "You're too old to be a princess." That said, he runs downstairs, leaving Itachi and Deidara behind.
"He's the most disrespectful child I have ever had the displeasure of meeting."
"He's a sweetheart, just give him a chance, un."
"He needs discipline."
"He's feisty. Sasuke loves that about him, un."
"Sasuke can do whatever he wants with him," Itachi pulls Deidara closer, and wraps an arm around his waist, "Just don't pick up any of Naruto's habits."
"I'm not cute enough to pull off Naruto's attitude, un."
"Cute," Itachi makes a disgusted face.
"Sasuke needs Naruto's sunshine to brighten up his life," Deidara gets that same melancholic look he always gets when thinking of Sasuke's past, "he deserves that after the darkness that was his life, un."
"Stop being sad," Itachi starts carefully leading Deidara downstairs, it's about time their child enjoys its uncle's birthday cake. "Think happy thoughts."
"I can now that Naruto's here. He's the reason we get to even have a future. If he wasn't here, Sasuke wouldn't be, and if Sasuke died, you would die, and I would just slit my wrists because…"
"Enough," Itachi pauses on the stairs to glare into bright gray eyes, "Stop thinking such unpleasant thoughts."
"He's our saviour, un." Deidara's eyes get teary. "I don't even know how to thank him. He doesn't even realize what hell he has rescued us from. He is completely clueless. He thinks I am going to pull some kind of rank on him and make his life miserable, un."
"He's a child," Itachi strokes Deidara's back, in an effort to sooth both his mate and his child, "He isn't even sixteen. He doesn't even know us yet."
"I want him to be happy with us, not constantly on his guard, un."
"He's a child in an unfamiliar environment, of course he's going to be defensive." Itachi tries to reason with his distraught mate. "Give him time. He already feels comfortable enough to make fun of me."
Deidara can't help but crack a grin at that. "He called you a princess, un."
"A queen, I'm too old to be a princess."
Deidara guffaws at that, "I can't believe he talks to you like that, un."
"We're missing Sasuke's birthday," Itachi starts walking again, he wants Deidara and his child to have lots of cake.
"You just want me to taste like cake tonight," Deidara says knowingly, and lets Itachi lead him.
"What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asks Naruto as Kushina and Mikoto bring out the cake and obsess over its frosting and argue over 'perfect table placement.'
"Nothing." Naruto pouts subconsciously, and then forces himself to keep a neutral expression when Sasuke's eyes darken with lust. "Stop being a pervert."
"Then stop being sexy."
"I'm not sexy!" Naruto exclaims and then squeaks when Sasuke grabs his bottom and sensually massages both cheeks. "Stop that, bastard."
"I can't help myself." Sasuke confesses. "That cake looks good."
"It was delicious." Yahiko, who's been eavesdropping on their conversation shamelessly, says. "You have great taste, Sasuke. And I'm not just talking about the cake. Naruto looks very tasty."
Sasuke is very pleased at the compliment. Naruto just blushes prettily.
"Naruto," Yahiko leans in and whispers in the small blonde's ear. "You saw Jugo and Kimimaro. Call me and tell me everyfilthy detail."
Sasuke frowns when Yahiko saunters away to join Nagato who instantly wraps an arm around his mate's muscular waist, Konan on his other arm. "What the fuck was that?"
Naruto glares hatefully. "Nothing."
"Dobe, tell me what's wrong. What did Jugo and Kimimaro do?"
"They had sex in my bed." Slips out before Naruto can filter himself.
"They had sex in my bed too." Sasuke says back to Naruto's surprise. "They have sex in everyone's bed. It's some kind of slutty ritual. I had to replace my bed."
"You're not mad?"
"I'm replacing your bed," Sasuke matches Naruto's hateful glare with another one of his own, "Don't let me near your room for at least a week."
"I loved falling asleep with you in my bed last night," Naruto remembers how safe he felt in Sasuke's arms, how therapeutic it was, "It was my bed for like five years. Now it's ruined. It's going to smell like Jugo and Kimimaro forever."
"I will replace it," Sasuke pulls Naruto closer, "With an exact same one. You won't be sleeping here much anyway. You belong in my bed."
"You're so possessive." Naruto states the most obvious thing in the world.
"And you are blond." Sasuke says in a slow, clearly patronizing tone.
"Don't be a bastard."
"Dobe, before we cut the cake, I need you to know that I owe this night to you."
"From sarcasm to romance," Naruto laces his fingers through Sasuke's, "You're giving me whiplash."
"I don't know about whiplash but you will certainly get a concussion tonight when I fuck you into a guest bedroom mattress and your pretty blond head bangs against the headboard multiple times."
"Your idea of dirty talk is strangely violent."
Before Sasuke has a chance to reply, Itachi comes over with Deidara, and wraps an arm around Sasuke's waist. "Happy seventeenth."
Sasuke leans into Itachi's body and accepts the kisses placed into his face. "I can't believe I'm still here."
"Me neither." There is a tremor in Itachi's voice which makes Deidara and Sasuke wrap their arms around him and hold him tight.
"It's all because of one person, un." Deidara says, and all of a sudden, there are three pairs of grateful eyes on Naruto – black, red and gray – and he looks away, embarrassed.
They are standing in a close circle. Naruto hears Hidan mutter rudely under his breath All four of them are fucking each other, they do orgies every night.
"It's time." Kushina is basically crying tears of joy. She's always been a good baker but the perfection that is Sasuke's cake is too much for even her culinary skills. "It's so beautiful."
"It's alright." Mikoto shrugs jealously. "You used almonds instead of peanuts in the frosting. Sasuke probably won't like it."
"Ignore her." Minato grabs Kushina's shoulder before her famous loud mouth gets her in trouble. "It's not worth it."
"Nothing is good enough for her sons, un." Deidara tells her kindly, "I'm sure your cake is better than hers.
"You wouldtake her side over me." Mikoto hisses at Deidara who rolls his eyes.
"I can't win with you anyway, why should I try to please you, un?"
Naruto watches the exchange between Deidara and Mikoto and immediately hides behind Sasuke to avoid his mother-in-law's poisonous gaze.
"She's not that bad." Sasuke is enjoying the way Naruto clings to him for protection, but not how scared the boy is. "I won't let her bully you." Deidara can handle Mikoto. Naruto will get trampled.
"Sasuke," Kushina bites out, her fists are clenched. She clearly wants to punch Mikoto. "Do the honors."
Sasuke obeys and blows out the candles, followed by cheers and the standard chorus of Happy Birthday to you! along with Make a birthday wish!
Sasuke prays for his mother's safety because Deidara will surely kill her in a fiery explosion someday. He also prays for Naruto in a French maid costume, and for Itachi's child to find his mate much, much earlier than Sasuke. Seven or eight is a much better age than the cusp of seventeen.
Naruto cuts a piece of the cake and holds it up for Sasuke to eat, only to have it pushed into his own mouth along with Sasuke's lips desperately against his, and that naughty tongue in his mouth, enjoying the exotic taste of the cake.
Minato growls loudly, not enjoying the sight of the Uchiha boy locking lips with his baby. The rest of the room catcalls and jeers, encouraging the couple along with contradicting choruses of, Get a room lovebirds! When they part a minute later, Naruto's voice is breathy and raspy, "My mom is a good cook," is all he can mumble out in his daze. The cake tasted good.
"Of course she is," Sasuke smirks, "She made you didn't she?"
"Seriously," Hidan yells out, "Get a room, horny bitches."
"That's enough." Minato glares at Sasuke who is giving Naruto the same look Chouji is giving the cake. "No rooms are required. Everyone get some cake."
While the rest of the room parts for Chouji to charge toward the cake desperately with Ino and Shikamaru trying to protect the cake from his wrath, Sasuke whispers in Naruto's ear. "Why don't we go up to your room and you can give me my present."
"We missed our wedding reception. You want to miss your birthday party too?"
"I'll be quick." Sasuke promises, Naruto's scent already clouding his senses. "I will make us cum fast and we'll be back down here before anyone notices."
Sasuke is hard already, Naruto can feel that steely erection pressed against his hip. He's going to have to take care of his Sasuke now, or he won't make it through the rest of the party. "Fine."
Sasuke manages to get them to the periphery of the crowd, and they eventually succeed in escaping upstairs.
Naruto drags Sasuke toward a random guest bedroom and locks the door behind them when they are inside. A surprised noise escapes him when he's grabbed suddenly and thrown on the bed, Sasuke's weight on top of him instantly. Hungry kisses are placed on his throat, jaw, and chest.
"I have never been so starved for sex in my entire life."
"It hasn't been that long."
"It's been more than twenty-four hours." Sasuke feels as if he will die unless he is inside Naruto. "I feel so deprived."
"That's all on you. I wanted Sasuke in my bed last night."
"Your parents were around."
"They are still around, moron."
"And lots of other people."
"Your logic makes no sense." Naruto says as Sasuke takes his pants off and pulls his cock out.
"Less talking, more fucking." Sasuke growls out, and starts roughly stroking Naruto's cock, making him whimper and spread his legs even wider in invitation.
Sasuke pulls out a tube of his favourite lubricant, which he has vowed to always keep on his person in proper supply. Just because his sweet little dobe didn't bleed on their wedding night doesn't mean that perfect ass can't be damaged during future sexual encounters.
Naruto lets out wounded moans when Sasuke's slick fingers enter him and start scissoring, spending sparks of intense pleasure throughout his body. He can come from the fingering alone. Sasuke's cock will be too much to handle. Naruto's eyes snap open at the thought. Just as Sasuke is about to enter him, he whispers out a desperate stop.
"What?" Sasuke gasps out and pauses where his dick is inches away from heaven. He almost can't believe his ears.
"Get off." Naruto begs his husband, panting. "Please."
"Are you fucking serious?" Sasuke glares. It's my birthday and he's torturing me?
"Yes," Naruto has tears in his eyes. He himself is at the height of his arousal, and telling Sasuke to stop hurts him just as much as it hurts the dominant male. There is nothing more he needs in this world than Sasuke's perfect, huge penis inside of him.
There is a painful moment of weakness, in which there are adamant whispers from his demon, encouraging him to continue, and ignore Naruto's wishes. Sasuke almost gives in to the hellish commands, but the look on Naruto's face, those blue eyes sparkling with tears, stop him. He could never rape his dobe, no matter how horny he is. There is nothing the demon can tell him, that can convince him otherwise.
Naruto almost screams for Sasuke when the husband pushes himself off the bed, and starts walking toward the bathroom.
I need a cold shower.Sasuke thinks furiously. While he has managed to control himself enough to not rape his bride, he is still afraid that he will hurt the innocent boy, and damage that sweet body. Naruto has every right to deny Sasuke sex, but the fact that the boy chose to do so on his birthday stings worse than any bullet ever did in his crazy days.
"Sasuke," Naruto manages to gasp out, "Please don't go."
"I can't be near you right now," Sasuke answers truthfully, "I will hurt you."
Naruto's anus is tingling with both the pleasurable sensation of the lubricant and the recent memory of Sasuke's fingers. This is torture, but he has to give Sasuke his present. "Please come back." He cries out, and Sasuke's eyes widen. "I need you."
"Hey," Sasuke is alarmed when Naruto starts sobbing. "Dobe, it's okay. Calm down." He forces himself to approach the bed again. "I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He will even cuddle with Naruto with his painful hard on, anything to stop the precious blond from crying. Even if Sasuke dies from blue balls, the bride's will is more important than Sasuke's.
"I don't want you to go." Naruto sniffles, embarrassed that he was reduced to tears so easily. He has been so emotional lately, not just because of the wedding, but because of his need both for, and to please Sasuke.
"I'm not going anywhere." Sasuke doesn't understand why his dobe is torturing him – on his birthday – but he is willing to take any kind of punishment to keep Naruto from crying. "Stop being an idiot and calm down."
"Get off me," Naruto pushes Sasuke off him. "Stop hugging me."
Sasuke can't help the pang of hurt at Naruto's rejection. Have I done something wrong?
"On your back." Naruto orders after a few seconds, unaware of the desolate turn of Sasuke's thoughts.
"Dobe, I need you to tell me what the fuck's going on."
"Do you want your present or not?" When Naruto typed oral sexonline, he got the shock of his life. He's not letting his traumatic research go to waste.
"Present?" Sasuke has a second to ponder Naruto's question, before his erection is swallowed by what has to be the most flawless, wet heat in the world.
Naruto doesn't quite like the taste of Sasuke's penis, but he doesn't mind it either. It's bitter, and salty – a seme's semen is for reproduction, and doesn't have the delicious taste a uke's essence carries – but it's Sasuke, and to taste Sasuke at such a primal, intimate level makes Naruto hornier than ever.
"D-Dobe," Sasuke's hands grab golden locks, "Fuck."
Naruto whines at Sasuke's rough tugging of his hair, carefully not to bit down on his husband's most vulnerable part, and the vibrations in his throat send Sasuke's penis to heaven. "Fuck, dobe, I can't, I can't stop, fuck."
Naruto chokes when Sasuke's ejaculate suddenly floods his mouth, and he quickly pulls off, trying to swallow as much as possible, but most of it ends up on his face.
"Fuck," Sasuke's usually extensive vocabulary has been reduced to one word. "I usually last longer than that."
"I'm glad you didn't. My throat hurts" Naruto pouts, and those bruised lips, and the way he licks them to get the rest of Sasuke's semen makes the dominant male gasp with the sharp wave of arousal.
"Are you okay?" Naruto is worried he accidentally bit Sasuke, or hurt him some other way. "Did I do something wrong?"
Sasuke was thinking that just five minutes ago, and the irony of Naruto thinking the same thing after giving Sasuke the greatest blowjob in the history of time (not technique wise, but still the most intense orgasm of Sasuke's life) is kind of hilarious. "Where did you learn how to do that?" A sharp, ridiculous wave of unnecessary jealously arises.
The smile on Naruto's face is one of pure delight. "I looked it up on the internet."
Sasuke smiles back, not an arrogant smirk full of pride or contempt; an actual smile full of joy, instantly looking so innocent and angelic, and younger, like a seventeen year old boy, not someone in his mid twenties. Naruto can't stop himself from leaning in and showering his face with kisses. "Sasuke looks so beautiful when he's smiling."
"Naruto looks so beautiful with my dick in his mouth," Sasuke mimics the blonde's third person narrative, the moment of sweetness has passed. The Uchiha is back to his usual arrogant persona.
"Sasuke liked it?"
"Sasuke lovedit." Naruto is pulled down against a muscular chest. "Sasuke wants three of these every day."
"No," Naruto says sternly. "Only once per day. Sasuke needs to come inside me too."
It's then when Sasuke remembers his dobe hasn't orgasmed yet. That pretty, blond cock is still hard and waiting for Sasuke's attention. "Dobe."
"What?"
"You want your first blowjob now, or are we waiting for your birthday?"
"I want Sasuke inside me." Naruto has been feeling so incomplete for the past twenty-four hours. He's sick of watching Sasuke walk around clothed, when he could be naked, thrusting inside Naruto.
"You're one bossy bottom." Sasuke informs Naruto as he flips them so their positions are switched.
"I want Sasuke to be happy," Naruto sighs as Sasuke enters him with one hard thrust which is the perfect mixture of pain and pleasure.
"You will like blowjobs." Sasuke grunts as Naruto's body welcomes him home, into nirvana. That flawless anal passage squeezing tightly around his prick, as if it never wants to let go, and judging from Naruto's mewls, it truly doesn't.
"I want Sasuke inside me all the time."
"Dobe," Sasuke wants to reward his mate for his first blowjob, for taking initiative and submitting to his husband in such a raw, sensual manner, but Naruto's body is made for sex, and Sasuke finds himself starting to come too fast, for a second time.
Naruto whines when Sasuke harshly pumps his penis and induces an orgasm, and when his body is flooded with semen.
"I'm sorry." Sasuke pants as he collapses on top of Naruto, "I couldn't last longer. It's so much harder when I'm with you. I used to be able to keep girls coming while I stayed hard all night long. You have completely fucked with my control."
"Don't talk about your whores when you're inside me, you stupid bastard."
"Why, are you jealous?" Sasuke smirks into Naruto's neck.
"Yes."
That wasn't the answer Sasuke was expecting.
"I am jealous of everyone you've ever been with." Naruto admits.
Sasuke raises his head, and stares into deep blue eyes. "That's a lot of people to be jealous of."
"I wasn't your first." Naruto's eyes fill with tears and he curses himself for being so damn emotional.
"Dobe…" Sasuke can sense Naruto's hurt, "I'm sorry."
"I wouldn't have minded," Naruto sniffles, "If you had a few meaningful girlfriends, or hell, even boyfriends before you met me. Four, even ten. As long as it meant something, that there was an emotional connection, but from what I have heard about Sasuke… None of it meant anything."
"You think I'm dirty?" Sasuke pulls out of Naruto abruptly, and lies a few inches away from his bride, suddenly afraid to touch. "Used?"
Naruto can't help his sadness, and Sasuke senses it clearly through their new bond. "If I was around, your past would have been a lot happier. I could have been Sasuke's release. His sex toy. He wouldn't need all those girls, or boys. He could use me whenever he wanted."
"I wouldn't be the person I am now if it wasn't for my past." Sasuke can see that Naruto is blaming himself for the rough years of drug-fuelled mayhem that was his life. "It's a part of me."
"I accept all of you." Naruto doesn't like the vulnerability in Sasuke's eyes. He almost misses the sociopath the bastard was before their wedding. "Doesn't mean I like being responsible for all your pain. The reason you suffered all those years was because I wasn't around. And now you and your brother and Deidara think I'm some kind of saviour, when the truth is," Naruto's chokes on a sob, "You were weeks away from your death."
Sasuke watches Naruto cry for a few minutes, silent tears and pained sobs shake the blonde's tiny frame, his pain so obvious through their bond.
"You're seventeen years old," Naruto feels his heart clench with excruciating hurt, "and your family is reacting as if it's a divine miracle."
"That's because it is."
"It shouldn't be. A seventeenth birthday shouldn't be some kind of rare prize. It should be a normal part of growing up."
"For normal boys it is," Sasuke runs a hand through his bangs, looking so effortlessly gorgeous, Naruto's heart skips a beat, "For Uchiha men, it's like winning the lottery. We're a flawed family. I don't even know why we bother trying to continue our line."
"Don't say that."
"Itachi is so happy I survived. This isn't the end of his worries by any means. Deidara will probably give birth to a son, and that child may or may not survive his seventeenth birthday, and the cycle continues. Our family should just stop reproducing and give into what our DNA is instinctively trying to achieve; extinction."
"Stop saying such horrible things." Naruto's body trembles at Sasuke's ominous words. "Stop it."
"I'm sorry you have to be a part of this." Sasuke smiles that innocent, pure smile again, the one that makes Naruto want to hold him and never let go. "I wish there was some way to release you from me."
"I don't want to be released." Naruto closes the distance between them, clinging to his husband's feverishly hot form. "I want to be yours – like I said in my wedding vows – forever."
"If I kill myself, you die too, so that's no solution. It's best just to try and make this work."
"Stop it." Naruto slaps Sasuke in the face, making him flinch. "It's your birthday, and this is how you celebrate it?"
"You're the one who brought up past girlfriends."
"Because you bragged about satisfying them."
"They didn't satisfy me. Why do you think I fucked so many? I was looking for the best orgasm."
"Why didn't you just wait until you found me, bastard?"
"Do you know what the odds of Uchiha finding their mates are? I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning andwinning the lottery simultaneously."
"Sasuke," Naruto's tears have dried, but the pain in his voice is very real, despite their playful bickering to ease the tension. "You're not dirty."
"Not anymore," Sasuke laces his finger through Naruto's. "You've neutralized my sluttiness."
"Deidara's baby is going to find his mate. I will hunt him or her down myself if I have to."
"Don't be jealous of my past sexual encounters," Sasuke would go insane if anyone else touched his Naruto, but he expects Naruto to forget his past fuck buddies. He is the definition of hypocrisy. "They are nothing but shadows. I don't even remember their faces."
"I don't want anyone to ever come between us."
"Never," Sasuke places a kiss on one soft, whiskered cheek. "No one is that stupid."
"Is this seat taken?"
Sakura doesn't bother looking up from her drink. This has to be the tenth guy to approach her tonight. "Don't bother. I'm not in the mood for company." She mumbles.
"Maybe you can make an exception for me."
Sakura side eyes the boy… man, and shrugs. "Whatever."
Wide brown eyes, bright red hair. Face so expressionless, he can be a doll. "I am Sasori." He extends his hand toward Sakura. "And you are?"
"Not interested." Sakura replies dryly, leaving the stranger's hand frozen in midair.
"Fair enough." The man smiles so minutely, Sakura almost misses it. "I can take a hint."
"And yet you're still here." Sakura says, her tone mockingly saccharine. "Keep walking, handsome. There're plenty of girls here. Anyone of them will gladly go home with you."
Sasori gives the group of college-aged girls in the corner booth a bored look as they giggle drunkenly and eye his slender, muscular figure with barely hidden lust. "You are the only one in a rather unique position to understand exactly what I am going through."
"Wow," Sakura laughs, the night is young and she is already pleasantly buzzed. "That has to be the worst pickup line I have ever heard."
The man only leans in close and catches Sakura's eyes in a hypnotizing stare. "Rejection hurts, but what hurts even more is letting the person who hurt you get away with it." That said, Sasori pointedly gestures to the flat screen perched in the upper left corner of the barroom. "You can spend the rest of your life, stewing in your own hatred, or you join me, and teach this overly-privileged family a lesson." That said the man disappears from her side as quickly as he appeared.
Sakura blinks unevenly and stares up at the TV. The local news is covering Sasuke's birthday party. Sakura can see some of her classmates in the background as Sasuke and Naruto sit in the middle in front of a giant cake, surrounded by loved ones.
This is the first time Sakura has seen Sasuke's mate despite the local media's extensive coverage of Sasuke's nuptials. Bright blue eyes, blond hair. The boy certainly is pretty. What really catches her attention is Sasuke's glow. The blank expression on his face does nothing to hide the happiness in his heart. Downing her drink quickly, Sakura slams down some cash on the table and hurries after the stranger.
She almost trips in her heels but manages to catch him as he is about to turn around the corner. "Wait." She calls out. "Don't go."
Sasori turns around, and gives her a faintly surprised look. It looks strained, as if he's not used to showing so much emotion. "I wasn't leaving; just going to get a pack of smokes."
"You should quit, your lungs will thank you." Sakura catches her breath as she stands next to him.
Sasori shrugs. "Take your own advice." Sakura's breathe reeks of alcohol. "Your liver will certainly appreciate it."
"Don't judge." Sakura starts following Sasori as he starts walking in a random direction. "I've been having a bit of a rough time coping with reality lately."
Sasori doesn't say anything, but something about his manner tells Sakura that he knows exactly what she's talking about.
The night is cold, and the air is bitingly chilly. Sakura shivers, but doesn't complain. The bristling, unforgiving icy wind sharpens her senses and helps lessen the effect of alcohol. She finds herself awake, and ready to deal with whatever this mysterious man plans to throw her way. They walk for about twenty minutes. Sakura doesn't question where the stranger is taking her. She feels oddly safe in his presence.
"My humble abode." Sasori says as he leads Sakura into a building.
"Condos here cost an arm and a leg." Sakura looks at the priceless chandeliers and the fountain in the middle of the lobby.
Sasori leads Sakura toward the elevator. "They are actually quite affordable, with the right-sized bank account."
"So," Sakura asks when they are sitting in his living room, which seems as devoid of life as he is. There are no pictures anywhere, no signs that a human being lives here. If Sakura cared at all about her safety, she would be scared. After watching Sasuke and his mate however, she is feeling a little suicidal. She is secretly hoping that Sasori is an axe murder, just so he can put an end to her pitiful existence. "What's your plan?" Please tell me you are going to kill me and bury me in an unmarked grave.
"We take down the Uchiha family," Sasori says, and then adds. "And take back what belongs to us. Sasuke and Deidara."
"And how is that exactly?" Sakura recognizes the insane, deranged expression on Sasori's face. It's the same one she sees in the mirror every day. "They are both happily married."
"We won't let that stop us. Nothing can stop us if we are determined enough. Even if it all ends in bloodshed."
"Sasuke won't get hurt, will he?" Sakura asks with trepidation. "Because if he even gets a paper cut, I will rip you apart."
"Relax," Sasori rolls his eyes, "Your idiot pretty boy will be fine. It's my bride we need to worry about."
"I heard rumours," Sakura says carefully, "Deidara is pregnant. I can't believe I am the one saying this, but maybe you should move on. They are starting a family together."
Sasori looks positively murderous. His doll-like face is so absolutely beautiful in fury that Sakura wonders for a second what made Deidara pick Sasori over Itachi. Sasuke's elder brother is certainly extremely beautiful, but Sasori seems to have been crafted from prized marble. "That freak has a nasty habit of continually violating what's mine. Itachi Uchiha will burn in hell."
"Deidara seems happy."
"So does Sasuke." Sasori says sweetly. "Shall we leave him alone as well?"
Sakura straightens in her seat. "I get your point."
"We may be strangers, but our situation is the same. If we work together…" Sasori extends a hand toward Sakura, his tone full of meaning. "We can separate them."
"Right," Sakura says, hesitant, but at her wits end, she accepts the stranger's hand.