Title: Renesmee's Forever: All Grown Up, Chapter 10
Author: FunSizedAuthor
Word Count: 2,562
Rating: M
Warning: This story contains adult themes and is rated for 18+, if you are younger than 18 or find yourself triggered, offended or uncomfortable with mature themes, please click out of this story at this time.
Disclaimer: This story contains characters and locations from the Twilight Saga World, owned by Stephanie Mayers, and I do not claim ownership over them or the world of Twilight. The story and situations described are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon, this work is intended for entertainment outside of the official story, owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the publication of this story.
Renesmee
I giggle as Jacob lays further down the bed from me, whispering and chatting with to our baby.
"And then, there was this one time that your grandma and I were out on my motorcycle and had her phone in her back pocket, so it flew out when we stopped to go get it she slipped, and she landed on an old bees nest. There were a few dead bees in it, and their stingers got her, so we spent 15 minutes picking those suckers out of her leg." He chuckles, and I smile at him, running my fingers through his hair. "Learn from all of our mistakes; there's no need for you ever to do anything stupid or get hurt. Apparently, parents are supposed to want their kids to make mistakes and learn, but I would just prefer you always do the right thing and are smart."
"Our kids are always going to know how to do the right thing because they have you as a dad," I tell him.
He smiles at me and crawls up to lay next to me but keeps his hands on my belly.
"You're going to be a pretty great mom too." I kiss him briefly before feeling the baby kick against Jacob's hand.
I look a bit larger than someone six months pregnant but still look on track for a very human pregnancy. Six months of being locked away and although we were together and although we had fresh air, good food, and a clean bed, books were not doing it for entertainment anymore. I didn't feel like having sex very often, and there's only so many things to talk about when you aren't doing anything at all.
After about a month, blood, animal and eventually human made me throw up all day. Jacob and I decided it hoped it meant our baby was a human, or at least human enough. We desperately wanted our child to live as full and as wonderful of life as possible, even if it meant we only got 80 or 90 years with him or her. Not drinking blood has started to leave me tired and meant I didn't want to do much more than lay in bed or sit in the library
We sit quietly for almost an hour before I find a new topic to talk about.
"How many kids do you want?" He looks at me thoughtfully, pondering my question.
"I don't know. It's not like normal humans where they only have so many years to have kids. It's possible we will have some kids now and feel happy but if in a hundred years, if we are still around and want to have more kids, nothing is stopping us."
"So this time around. How many siblings should Sarah or William have?"
"I like the idea of four or five. But you're the one who has to get pregnant every time, so I guess in the end it's your call."
"I like the idea of a big family, and hey, if we weren't locked in a tower like some tragic romance novel, pregnancy isn't too bad so far, and at the end, a whole new person pops out for us to love."
"I'm so torn between hoping they are all human so that they can experience as normal of a life as possible and, wanting to be selfish and hope they are a hybrid vampire or get the wolf gene and decide to keep phasing so that I never have to lose them."
"I understand." I sigh and look away from him and up at the ceiling. "I can't even imagine how it's going to feel, 500 years from now when we are still 20 years old, and we have babies who have lived a life and died if they do." Jacob nods in agreement, and again we fall into a long, comfortable silence.
By seven months we notice that the baby wasn't kicking very often, so I try to add blood back into my diet but that only makes me sick, and since we can't exactly visit a doctor we are left to stick to what we find in books or the few times we are allowed to use a laptop in the library.
By eight months we are painfully aware that something is seriously wrong when we never feel a kick again. I give birth, what seems way too early to a stillborn baby girl.
We cry over our baby who will never grow up. Frozen forever at this age. It's something I painfully relate to as we mourn the life that Sarah Black never gets to live. Eventually, Corin takes her away, giving us one last look at our very human baby girl with pale but tanned skin and black curls.
For a week Jacob and I lie in bed. We don't move unless we have to, and we don't talk. Corin feeds me blood and brings plates for Jacob which he only picks at.
By the time Aro comes in to tell us he is sending us home, my body looks just as it did before. No reminders that my sweet Sarah was ever there.
I scream and throw things at the man who let my baby die as Jacob sits motionless in the corner.
It's a few more days of tears and sleeping until my parents arrive. My dad carries me out, and my mom guides Jacob out behind us. I cry all the way to the car, I cry all the way to the airport, in the airport, on the plane, and after hours on the plane, I start crying all over again when we land in Seattle. The place I wanted to raise my baby.
I stop crying just long enough for Jacob and me to decide we will go out and stay at his house on the reservation. Before the wedding, we had planned on living out here, so most of my clothes and things are here.
Two weeks later I lay in bed watching the news mindlessly when I hear Jacob knock on the door. I want to be the kind of wife who always looks put together for her husband, but instead, I leave my bed hair and tear streaked face alone and look straight ahead, ignoring him as he comes in. Maybe it's night? Jacob has made a habit of leaving our room as soon as he's awake and not coming back except to bring me food or sleep at night.
"You're mom called. They are all going hunting, so we are going to go with them." I shake my head and sink further into the pillows. "It's been almost three weeks. You can't spend the rest of your life in bed ignoring everything. That's not going to change anything."
I roll over on my side so that I'm no longer facing him and close my eye's trying to drown him out.
"Renesmee, I want to spend time and be with my wife again."
"I don't want to get up yet. Come lay down with me for a few minutes." I murmured, closing my eyes when I feel the bed dip in anticipation for his warm embrace. Instead, he shouts-
"No! I'm done with 'just a few minutes.' I want my wife back."
"I want my baby back!" I scream sitting up to face him. He's kneeling on the bed, his fingers knotted in his hair and an awful angry look on his usually pleasant, happy face. He doesn't move for a moment, and when he does, he sits down next to me. He looks ahead, and eventually, I turn my gaze straightforward as well, and there we sit.
After a few dark, long minutes he shifts to face me again.
"She was my baby too. I want my baby back just as much as you do. I was supposed to get to dress her up in cute little dresses and take her to the park and get sad when she skins her knee for the first time. Be the awkward dad when she got her period, started wearing bras and liking boys. Walk her down the aisle. She was my baby too. One that I had already pictured in my life, so to now know that it's not going to happen hurts me too. I didn't carry her, but she was mine." He gasps for breath from his long speech. "But stuff has to get done. Someone has to make food and let your mom know we are still breathing over here, run the dishwasher, make sure we are still showering and brushing our teeth. I let you take this time because I know you needed it, but we have to get on with our lives. Being happy isn't going to mean we forget about Sarah, it just means we won't suffer anymore."
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, knowing that he understood what I was going through and that he missed her just as much as I did.
"But I want my wife back even more than I want my baby back,' he whispers.
As I work out a response, I realize that if Sarah had lived, Jacob and I would never get just to be a young newlywed couple. We could have another baby and be parents another time, once Jacob and I have had our chance to love each other and only each other. That was something we could do for Sarah. Make use of the time we had now to love each other so that her younger siblings would someday get to grow up with parents who loved each other, not just hung around each other because we have a mystical imprint binding us together.
I run my hand through his hair and brush the back of my hand over Jacob's face, letting the stubble scratch the back of my hand. When my fingers touch over his lips, he kisses them, and I look up from what I'm doing to make eye contact with him. I turn my hand over to replay my recent thoughts for him, and he smiles as he reaches the end.
"That's a beautiful idea. We can still love Sarah without getting to raise her." I nod and lean forward to kiss him. He kisses back but pulls away fairly quickly. "I'm all for being a romantic babe, but your breath is awful, and you need to get in the shower. Apparently, I wasn't so great at the who shower and brush teeth thing that I mentioned. I giggle and lean forward to kiss his neck instead.
"I love you," I mutter into his neck. He lets out a throaty moan and shifts on the bed.
"New plan. Brush your teeth, the sex, shower, hunting, more sex."
"Got it," I giggle as I hop up and run out of the room."
I brush my teeth quickly and pull a brush through my long locks. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I still look broken, but I desperately want to be there for and with Jacob. When I come back, Jacob is still laying on his back with his arms tucked under his head and legs stretched out in front of him. He looks lost in thought and doesn't even notice me until I clear my throat.
"Hey," I whisper.
"Hey wife," he mumbles back. I walk around to his side of the bed and softly kiss him. He cups my face, and we stay there for a moment, re-exploring kissing again.
Eventually, he pulls me over onto the bed so that we are lying, facing each other. He pushes my hair out of the way and kisses over my chin and down my neck. He knows I love being kissed there and I moan and take a moment to enjoy it before rolling over on top of him. We kiss some more in the new position as I play with the hem of his t-shirt, occasionally slipping my hand under it and running it over his hard stomach and chest.
He puts both of his hands on my back and supports me as he sits up with my still on his lap. He pulls off his t-shirt and then my own. I'm not wearing a bra, so he immediately moves in with his mouth, licking and sucking at the soft skin.
"Beautiful," he whispers as he pulls his face back and takes one more long look at my chest. I hop up and slip off my pants and underwear, and he follows suit, grabbing a condom before we sit back on the bed. We awkwardly shuffle around as we get into what ends up being missionary. We kiss long and hard once more before he runs his fingers over my core, spreading my wetness around and then guiding himself into me.
I gasp at the feeling of being full and immediately start lifting my hips, trying to meet his thrusts, both of us a moaning, blissed out mess. He shifts so that he's on his knees, holding my hips up into the air. With him hitting new places, I moan, gasp or mutter fuck, fuck, fuck as I start to get close. He licks his finger and brings it down on my clit. His thrusts start to get a little less controlled so I replace his finger so that he can focus on what he's doing. I feel my belly start to tighten and hear him let out a strangled moan.
"I'm going to cum soon. Please cum for me," Jacob mutters. I gasp start to feel myself getting closer and closer before all at once I let out a silent scream and cum. My vocal chords, incapacitated and my body is shaking as Jacob continues to hit my g-spot. I come down from my high but almost immediately cum again when I hear him mutter. "Fuck that was hot." In the middle of me being a million miles away, he comes. "I love you, so much, I love you, love you." he chants, before leaning down to kiss me. We both sigh, satisfied and happy before we untangle ourselves from each other and lie down, two sweaty messes.
"I love you too." I giggle after a minute. He rolls into me, draping an arm over my body and sighs.
"I love you more than you know Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black."
After a few minutes, Jacob stands to take a shower and once he's out calls my mom and lets her know we will meet them at the Cullen house. I shower quickly too. Enjoying the feeling of getting clean for a purpose and not so that I can lay miserably in bed again.
I hop out and find my husband so I can kiss him again. We get dressed and leave to go hunting. Starting the process of healing and moving on from the pain of losing Sarah so that we can once again find happiness.
A/N:
Hey there, since this is chapter 10, I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and thank you for hanging with me thus far! This is a story that I wrote int 2014-2015 am now editing and adding on to. I'm not going to be one of those authors who says I need a certain amount of reviews to update, but I do always appreciate reviews. Chapter 9 was posted as soon as it was because of BellaK26's review so thank you!
I have some awesome plans for this story and already a rough outline for a sequel so stay patient and hang with me :)
Lot's of love and thanks again!
-Anna