A/N: Thank you for all the reviews!
Disclaimer: POTC belong to Disney.
Chapter 10
She knows. She remembers. It's over.
The thoughts flashed across Jack's mind as soon as he opened the door. Elizabeth stood by the window, frowning. She wore an ash-pink light dress. He had picked this dress as the first one. He had thought she might like the color. Perhaps she did.
But she was displeased, nevertheless. There was something in her face, some vexation, irritation, anxiety. She looked at him when he came in. He could tell she was upset.
Yet, all he could think of was how beautiful she looked. And he did not regret... If there was anything to regret. Nothing had happened. He could easily explain to her why he had not told her immediately... It was just one day, after all. Just one day. One night. Uneventful one, apparently, too. She could not be too angry at him...
Elizabeth came up to Jack quickly, a resolute expression on her face.
...could she?...
Was she going to slap him? Maybe. It was nothing new. He could live with this.
Elizabeth stood before him, silent, yet, she looked as if she was about to say something.
Was she going to yell at him? It was possible. She yelled quite well. Quite charmingly, too.
She bit her lower lip, staring at him, not really waiting for him to speak, but not really ready to speak herself either. She looked troubled.
Jack was steadily returning her gaze. He was not sure how should he start... Should he apologize? He was not sorry. At least not very sorry. As a matter of fact, he felt less sorry now, when it was apparently over, than before, when he was vexed, and uncertain what to do; when he had been lying to her.
The silence engulfed them. They stared at each other, both deep in their own thoughts, yet, looking in each other's eyes intently. Intently... Intensively, rather. Suddenly, Jack noticed how close they stood. Only inches away, actually.
"Why did you do that, Jack?" She finally asked in a low tone of voice.
Jack looked away, and stared at the floor for a moment. Then he looked up at her again. With some surprise he noticed that she shivered under his gaze. Maybe she was not that angry at him? Maybe she was not angry... at all?
"I don't know, Lizzie. I don't know," he muttered sadly.
Elizabeth felt suddenly very guilty. He had probably given her all those gifts out of compassion, and she was accusing him of some evil intentions... He must have felt treated unfairly. It hurt her, that he looked so grim all of a sudden. She liked his smile. She did not want him to look so sad. She did not want him to look so sad because of her.
Elizabeth took one more step forward. With certain relief Jack realized that she was not going to slap him. Clearly, she was not going to yell at him either. What was she going to do, then?
"I just thought, that one would be quite enough," said Elizabeth timidly, smiling faintly.
A glimpse of some unrecognizable emotion in his eyes frightened her. She did not know what it was. But somehow he looked even more sad now.
It did not hurt him, that obvious reference to his own words. He had said them, so she had a right to repeat them. But he had not meant them, back then. In fact, he had never meant anything less. That one kiss was not enough. He felt (subconsciously, because he would have never admitted it overtly), that no matter how many times they would kiss, he would have never had enough of it. Never.
"Elizabeth... I'm sorry," he said with a trace of exhaustion in his voice, not really knowing what he was sorry about. Was he sorry about his words, about not telling her the truth, about...
"No!" She exclaimed. "I am sorry. I did not mean it..."
Jack blinked, and stared at her in bewilderment.
"I-I," stammered Elizabeth, suddenly reaching for his hand. "What I wanted to say was that one dress would be enough. I was little confused by all of these... and yet that woman... Never mind", she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I know-"
She went on, but he was not listening. The only thing that he had understood in that moment was that she did not know, that she did not remember. And that she had been talking about the clothes all this time, while he had been thinking...
He unconsciously squeezed her hand, and she stopped talking.
On the one hand it was a disaster. He had to continue carrying out this illusion, deception; this dream... On the other hand, he had never felt happier before.
Elizabeth watched him, and the change in his eyes, the change on his face puzzled her. She saw a trace of a smile flickering across his face, and all of a sudden, before she could do anything about it, he pulled her into his arms, and held her close, looking deeply into her eyes.
She instinctively, yet unconsciously rested her hands on his shoulders, trying to figure out what was happening. She could not tear her eyes off him, and the longer she looked into his eyes, the more hopeless she felt. Hopeless? No, not hopeless. Calm. Peaceful. Happy. Hopelessly happy...
Maybe his intentions were after all debatable...
"That woman," started Elizabeth, desperately looking for a pretext to say something, and brake this dangerous, intoxicating silence, brake away from his scent, from his presence, from his touch... She felt his arms wrapped around her, and it distracted her, but she continued nonetheless. "She told me that you're... maybe... doing this... for wrong reasons."
Jack smirked at her. He was in his good mood once again. He was in control of the situation. He held her in his arms, and she trembled.
"Maybe I am doing this for wrong reasons," he teased, leaning towards her.
Elizabeth tilted back her head. "I don't think you do," she said awkwardly. It was quite obvious at that point that this assumption might be wrong. But she refused to believe it.
"What makes you think I don't, luv?" He asked in the whisper which sent shivers down her spine. He looked at her searchingly, his lips twisted in a roguish smile. Whatever she was thinking right now, what was important for Jack was the fact that she had not pushed him away immediately.
"I trust you," she said blankly, her lips barely moving. She shifted her eyes from his eyes to his mouth, and then back to his eyes, anxiously. What if he would attempt to kiss her? What would she do? She knew what she was ought to do, but... will she do it? She was terrified. She could not even move, not to mention pushing him away, or pulling herself away.
Her string of thoughts was interrupted by a sad look which once again appeared on his face. What did she say? Did I say something wrong?
Jack looked at her grimly. He felt guilty. He felt dirty. Trusts me. She trusts me. Oh Lizzie. What a mistake. You shouldn't. You really shouldn't.
"Maybe you shouldn't, Elizabeth," said Jack stiffly, his eyes dark, and undecipherable.
She looked at him in awe. She felt as if there was a totally different, mysterious world behind his eyes. She could look into his eyes ceaselessly. She drew shallow breaths in order not to suffocate, but she found it difficult to breathe at all. His mouth was hovering over hers, and instead of pulling away, she leaned forward, not breaking the eye contact with him even for a moment.
"Why shouldn't I?" She whispered, blushing, and trembling uncontrollably.
"Why shouldn't you?" He asked with a grin, his eyes glimmering, his arms tightening around her. He tried to forget about his thoughts. He tried to forget about the truth.
If there even was any truth beyond this moment.
"Tell me," she said purposelessly, just for the sake of talking, of focusing on something else...
She felt as if she had known him. As if he has always existed in her mind, in her imagination. His eyes... There was something about his eyes. Something that she knew. Something that she has longed for. Something she could hold on to.
I'm just making it up... I'm making up some explanation... Some justification... This is wrong... This is so wrong... I should not...
He brought his hand to her face, and gently ran his fingers across her cheek. Elizabeth gazed at him in disbelief. They have known each other for one day. He should not have even tried to do a fraction of what he was actually doing right now. How did he dare... How did he dare was the one side of the problem. Why she was letting him... was the other.
"Tell you what, Lizzie?" He inquired with a smirk, tracing her jawline with his fingertips. She looked quite terrified, but he knew that it was not because she was scared of him. If anything, she was rather afraid of herself...
"Tell me-," she started, but trailed off almost immediately.
Jack looked at her, only vaguely realizing that it was the first time when they were actually that close, when he could hold her in his arms, when their closeness was neither a game, nor an illusion. He did not even know he liked it that much. He liked being with her, and looking at her.
What difference did it make that it was stolen. This moment, this yesterday, this tomorrow... Will there be tomorrow?
And then she did something that he had not expected her to do. She just leaned towards him, and nestled her head into his chest.
It startled him. She really did trust him. And she needed him. She wanted him. It was happening. He could have her. He could be with her. It was possible. The garbled thoughts were racing through his mind, enchanting, enthralling, intoxicating, vicious... Vicious. Maybe if he told her... told her right now, she would understand... She would say she does not care... Would she care? Not remembering... She would not care, if she did not remember.
He hugged her close, frightened by how much he liked the feeling of her body pressed against his. Not in a sense... Well, not only in that sense. In a different sense. In a scary sense. In a sense that he knew little about. In a sense he did not want to get rid of.
Jack rested his head against hers, and closed his eyes. They were standing like that for a long time, without saying anything, without moving, without explaining...
Elizabeth listened to the heartbeat, wondering whether it was his heart, or her own that she was hearing. Her head raised and fall in the rhythm of his breathing. She felt absolutely safe, and happy. She felt as if she did not need anything more, anything else. Her memories? She did not care. Her past? She was suddenly disinterested in the subject. She could not explain it. She knew how weird were her thoughts in these circumstances. She knew how weird it was of them to stand here silently in an embrace, two people who barely have known each other.
Yet, she did not want to break away. She knew that there was something magical about this moment. And she did not want to break free.
She felt free. She was free. She was free in his arms. The realization amazed her.
"We should be going," whispered Jack into her hair.
"I know," she answered blankly.
Neither of them moved.
Tell her now... I should tell her now... Now is not too late... And not too early either...
"I think I'm alone," she said all of a sudden.
Jack tilted back his head, and looked at her hesitantly. "What do you mean?" He asked concernedly.
Elizabeth sighed softly. She did not even open her eyes. Jack stared at her, thinking how lovely she looked leaning like that against his chest.
"What would I have been doing here alone, if I don't live here...," she explained quietly, feeling the tears gathering under her eyelids.
"We are just about to find out whether you live here or not, luv," said Jack, almost disgusted with a natural manner in which he had said it.
"I know," muttered Elizabeth. "But I have a feeling that I don't live here," she opened her eyes, and looked at him.
"We shall see," said Jack, forcing a smile.
The truth... I owe her the truth... She was looking at him. He did not feel like losing her looking at him right now.
She timidly pulled away from him at last, and smoothen her hair in a nervous gesture.
"Let us go, then," she said with a faint smile.
"Let us go," he repeated absent-mindedly, turning around, and attempting to open the door. Maybe now...
"Jack..."
He turned around immediately. She stood right in front of him.
"Thank you," she said with a small smile, and before he had the time to answer, she leaned towards him, and quickly kissed him on the cheek.
He gave her a roguish grin, and she blushed.
"I just-," she started.
"You just wanted to kiss me, Lizzie. I can certainly understand that," he cut in.
Elizabeth blinked, shocked. "No. No, I didn't," she assured him firmly.
He grinned again.
"I did not!" She repeated irritably.
"Very well, then. You didn't want to kiss me," agreed Jack, trying to sound serious.
Elizabeth calmed down, satisfied with his consent. But then, she noticed a mischievous glint in his eyes, and in no time she found herself being pulled into his arms once again.
The hell with the truth.
"I did want to kiss you, though," he smirked, and leaned towards her, but the knock on the door thwarted his plans unsympathetically.