***ENGLISH ISN'T MY LANGUAGE***
I don't know how to feel with this chapter so I really hope you like it. Let me know what you think.
I also invite you to read my new fic "Waiting for a friend" (Tom Koracick & Teddy friendship with some Towen fluff), you can find it in my profile.
There I made a question that until now nobody has answered. I've been working on a new fic, an AU where Teddy doesn't say anything to Owen about the baby because of a misunderstanding and stays in Germany. So if you are interested in reading it let me know so I can continue working on it or definitely stop. (I already hace aroun 10-11k words)
If not let's pretend that I never asked this question. okay?
Anyway, enjoy this chapter :)
I thought I could be without you and I can't, my love is harder than I thought.
For how much I need you here and for everything I want from you.
Don't get away from me, no, my love...
I walk through the park smiling from ear to ear, with one hand holding my handbag to my shoulder and the other placed gently on my belly. I take a seat on a bench under a tree and watch the children playing in the jungle gym. Shortly after my cell phone rings. Is him. As if I had called him with my mind. I read his message and my heart skips a beat...
I keep looking at the screen of my cell phone. It's a very simple message but after our talk and considering how things are it can lead to many interpretations.
-"Teddy we have to talk. I NEED to see you. Please, I really need it".
The use of capitals in the word NEED makes me feel all sort of things. He needs to see me; he wants to see me. I don't want to let my hopes rise. I don't want to create movies in my head. The bridges of Madison County. Think rational Theodora. He wants to talk to you and maybe it's urgent, that's all, that's the reason for his use of capitals in that word. He doesn't need you he already has someone else, he just wants to talk to you, after all you're carrying his child.
I put my phone down before answering. This was supposed to be a good day, I felt great this morning and seconds before reading his message. Breathe, It's just a message, he probably wants to talk about the baby, there's no need to make thousands of stories around something so simple. I sigh.
-"What do you want to talk about? I told you I'd call you when I'm ready to talk again".
For a moment I feel that I sounded really harsh. I see 'writing…' and my hands begin to sweat.
-"I know, but it's important. We have to really talk Teddy, without interruptions, just you and me. We are going to be parents for God's sake! We need to clear the air".
-"Does Amelia know about this?"
There is no more 'writing...' on the contrary, he goes off line. I would be lying if I say that this doesn't sink my heart. But immediately I shake the thought out of my head, probably he's busy. He'll answer soon and indeed, only a couple of minutes later the notification of his message makes the screen of my cell phone shine.
-"No, I haven't done it yet, but I will soon. First I have to talk to you".
-"I don't know, Owen. I don't want misunderstandings. The best thing to do is to first talk to Amelia. Call me once you've done it".
He keeps sending me messages but I don't read them. This is a good day. I don't want this drama now. I take my handbag and walk to the playground Artist at Play crossing through the esplanade of the Space Needle to take a taxi on Broad St. Then I think it better. I'm in the mood to walk, to know a little more this city I lived in for many years in the past but I didn't have time to know in depth. So I walk all the way down Broad St. and I turn left on 1st Ave. It's a walk of at least half an hour, but among so many restaurants, coffee shops, art galleries, bookstores and other endless stores that keep me distracted soon I arrive at the hotel.
As soon as I'm in my room I take off my boots and replace my jeans with comfy leggings. I place my hands on my lower back and I lean backwards stretching, then forward touching the tips of my feet with my fingers, I laugh because it's a little bit harder to reach my toes because of my growing baby bump. Then I remember that I had a plan this morning. I go and take my camera and I sit cross-legged on the bed leaning on the headboard and placing the camera in front of me.
"Hey sweet pea. I know it's been a while but Mommy's been... busy. Many things have happened; you are growing by the day by the way". I giggle while I look at my belly rubbing it gently. "I can't wait to feel your little flutters". I stop for a few seconds. "So... I've a lot of things to tell you about your daddy. He... he already knows you're on the way and he's very happy, I told you that he would love you from the beginning, but... things are not as I expected, your daddy already has another family. He's fostering a little boy, Leo, but that doesn't mean he will love you less, who knows and maybe you and Leo can be good friends, like siblings".
I'm not sure if I want to talk about the other part of the story. The part that hurts me the most. The part where Owen didn't wait for me and now he is already living happily with his new family. But I know that sooner or later my child will ask questions about why his dad isn't with us and is with another family instead. "Like I said, your daddy has a new family. Not only Leo but also has a new girlfriend, maybe when you see this she'll be his wife, her name is Amelia and... ". I breathe deeply to steady my trembling voice. "No matter what happens you should always be nice to her, after all she is the woman your daddy loves and I'm sure she'll be very nice to you too... Anyway, I just want to add that it doesn't matter that your daddy and I are not together, we love you with all our hearts and all we want is to see you happy forever. I love you my little miracle. And I can't wait to hold you in my arms".
I turn off the camera and place it on the nightstand. I lie on the bed looking at the ceiling caressing my baby bump absently, I remember again Owen's message. He hasn't said anything to Amelia and although my highest priority was that Owen knew it, I can't help but be weighed by the fact that she still doesn't know anything. I don't know how she will react. I hope she takes it the best way; after all the last thing I want is to end her relationship with Owen.
OWEN
It's been two weeks since I last saw Teddy and 5 days since the last time she answered any of my calls or messages. The lack of news about her is killing me, it is kicking my anxiety to the limit, not to mention that I still don't tell Amelia about the baby and she clearly suspects something is wrong with me, but I just can't bring myself to tell her what is happening and also Teddy asked me not to do it for now. Neither she nor I want to hurt another person. I don't want to add more tension to our already tense relationship. I knew that this would happen, all that magic of the first days is starting to fade and the harsh reality is beginning to break through without us being able to do anything to stop it. Betty had consumed marijuana secretly. Child services had realized that Betty is living in my house with Leo, something they didn't see with good eyes and Amelia was losing control of the situation, she didn't know how to deal with a teenager and a baby. Even so, I'm trying my best to be there, to support her. As Teddy advised me the last time we talked.
"Owen! ... Owen!" Amelia's husky voice brings me out of my dream moment. I shake my head slightly and look at her.
"W-What? Were you talking to me?" I answer, still distracted.
"What's happening to you, Owen?! Lately you live with your head in the clouds and I need you here. Feet on earth!" She is upset, but as much as I try I can't remember what she was telling me.
"Oh nothing, it's just work".
"Yes, I have a job too, Owen".
"But tell me... What did you say?"
She huffs heavily as she runs her hand through her hair. "We have to do something with Betty, she can't continue like this. We will also have to leave the house at least for a couple of days at least until children's services are done with the home visits, they can't know that Leo's mother is still living with him".
"I agree. What do you propose?"
"What do I propose? What we propose Owen! I can't do this alone. What is the point of being together if I have to deal with all the mess?!"
I don't know what to tell her. I really appreciate Betty and I really want her to be well, especially if she's thinking on getting Leo back, but my mind can't stop thinking about Teddy, I want to know how's she doing, how's our baby, I want to see her, I want to hug her. Feel her slender and warm body between my arms. I want to touch her belly again, surely it has grown in these last two weeks. God, I can't keep this secret. I'm sorry, Teddy.
"Amelia..." She is breathing deeply. "I need to tell you something".
Her expression changes and her breathing slows down; I can see the curiosity in her frown.
"What about?"
"I... I'm going to be a dad". She shakes her head slightly and looks at me squinting.
"What?!"
"Teddy... Teddy is pregnant. The baby is mine".
Silence. She turns around giving her back on me hugging herself and pacing from side to side.
"Amelia..." She raises her hand making me shut up.
"Just... let me process all this, ok?"
She keeps pacing back and forth, I can almost hear the buzz of her thoughts running fast and wild.
"Since when do you know it?" She asks me after a few seconds, her voice doesn't indicate any emotion, I don't know if he is upset, sad, in shock.
"I've known it for two weeks".
She turns to me and although she isn't crying her eyes shine with pooled tears. My heart sinks.
"And why are you telling me it until now?"
I shrug. "At first I didn't know how to tell you and then... we were having so many problems and Teddy asked me not to do it. She doesn't want to cause more problems between us".
"Does she know we're living together?"
"Yes. She came here a couple of weeks ago and Betty opened the door. She told her that you and I were asleep, then she saw us at the hospital... she put two and two together".
She nods slowly, biting the nail of her thumb.
"Amelia, this doesn't have to change things. Teddy... she doesn't want to cause problems between the two of us, she just wants my child and I to be close, nothing more. She didn't even want to tell me after she came here, she did it just for my child, she doesn't want anything with me".
She sits next to me on the sofa and looks into my eyes, her face is serene. She is not upset, I think. I can almost see the imperceptible trace of a smile on her lips.
"She's right... things don't have to change. I don't know her very well Owen, but I can say that she is being honest. But now I ask you... Do you want things to continue as they are now?" Her voice is soft and understandable. "We're talking about a baby Owen and not with any woman but with her, so tell me, do you think things can continue as they are now?"
I can't answer her. I don't want to answer her. Obviously things will not be the same, this will completely change my life.
She laughs softly, but I can detect the sadness in her laughter. "When I said that she was your tumor I wasn't referring to something bad but quite the opposite. Haven't you noticed how all your actions and relationships in one way or another always lead you to Teddy?"
"I was honest with you Amelia. I told you from the beginning that Teddy is a very special person to me. She has been there for me when... in many moments".
"Say it, say it without shame. She has been with you at times when I should've been. She is your tumor, Owen".
She stands up laughing humorlessly, placing her hands on her hips and looking at the ceiling. I don't know if she's doing it consciously or unconsciously, but it's her superhero pose. She's looking for strength in her coping mechanism.
"Just answer me something Owen... Do you love her?"
"Amelia... don't ask me that, please".
"Why not? If you don't love her the answer is very simple and we all can go on with our lives as before. Owen, that baby is yours, I could never hate it. I would welcome it with open arms and I want to think that this is what Teddy would want, that we all live in peace, especially for the sake of the children... now that if you love her... tell me Owen, do you love her?"
"She is very special to me, Amelia".
"I asked you if you love her... Alex is a very special person for me and I can't see him more than as a friend".
I can't bring myself to look her in the eye. I nail my eyes on the ground.
"You know? To this date there hasn't been a day when I don't ask myself why you went to Germany. I know I told you, but why did you do it? Deep down I always dreamed that you would reject the idea and you would stay with me... I... Owen, I don't know if I can do this".
"Amelia, please don't make a hasty decision".
"Are you talking to me about hasty decisions? You that after Teddy threw you out of her house you came back to foster Leo and then with me?"
"Yes, I know that many of my decisions have been hasty, but..."
"But nothing Owen". She answers me so softly that her voice gives me goosebumps, during all our conversation she hasn't raised her voice for a moment. Pre-tumor Amelia would have brought in the complete artillery, but not this one. She is being mature, she has changed. But I can't change what I feel. Yes, I have a great love for her. But I can't love her as she deserves.
"We have to talk..." I can't finish my sentence when the shrill sound of my pager interrupts us. Dammit! Why now? I huff heavily. "It's from the ICU, it's urgent, I've to go. But please Amelia, we've to keep talking about this. Please".
She only gives me the softest of smiles. "Go".
TEDDY
It's been two weeks since Owen was in my hotel room and five days since I last spoke or messaged with him. I would be lying if I said that this isn't driving me crazy. In one way or another I was getting used to our conversations by messages and our brief calls, but I couldn't keep it up, he had to tell Amelia what was happening, it's the best for everyone involved. We all need to be in the same page before taking a step forward. Although that will have to wait for a few more days, with all the problems they are having I don't want to add more to that.
I leave the hospital after having made an appointment with the OB-GYN. I need to resume my medical check-ups, I don't have one since I left Germany, three weeks, almost a month without medical attention. I've also met with Miranda secretly. Secretly, since none of the surgeons can find out yet that I'll be the new Interim Chief of Surgery. Another reason to clear the air between Owen, Amelia and me. If we are going to work in the same place the last thing I want is feuds between us.
On my way to the street to take a taxi my phone rings, I rush to answer it, deep down I expected it to be Owen, but it isn't him, it's an unknown number. I doubt whether answer or not. But I won't play modest, I know I'm a very solicited person, as soon as the news that I had left MedCom began to spread among the medical circle dozens of job offers began to come to me so who knows, maybe this is one more, one more that I'll reject, all for being close to Owen. No, correction, all because of my child, so he or she can be close to its father. If you say so. A voice inside tells me.
"Hallo?"
"Huu-uum... Am I calling to Teddy Altman?"
It's a woman's voice and it sounds extremely familiar to me.
"Who's calling?"
"I know it's you Teddy. I'm Amelia Shepherd... we have to talk".
So here we go... apparently she already knows the truth...
What do you think Amelía wants to talk to Teddy about?!