Chapter 10: United through Love

A/N: Please remember that the first chapter – Previously on Stargate Atlantis – is a prologue and contains background information for several events mentioned in this chapter. Thanks to my beta-readers TheIceMenace and RodneyIsGodney.

"Beep, beep, beep, beep…"

Jennifer Keller heard a steady regular beeping and also distant voices whispering, but could not understand what they were saying. She was lying down again.

Again? No, not again! Jennifer thought. Suddenly, she heard a voice in her head begging and pleading…

"Jennifer? Jennifer? Jennifer! She's not breathing! Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Please… Come back to me. Please… Please…"

She recognized the voice and yelled out: "Rodney!"

Her throat was sore and her voice hoarse. The beautiful woman's brown eyes opened wide and she shot up in bed. She sat upright in an unfamiliar bed looking tousled.

"BEEEEEPPP, BEEEEEPPPP, BEEEEEPPPP…"

The heart monitor she had heard earlier was now loudly beeping its warning as she had pulled off the wires by her abrupt movements. The beeping stopped and Carson Beckett stood next to her. "It's alright, lass. Just take it easy. Everything's okay."

Jennifer was in the infirmary. "What happened this time Carson?" Her voice still sounded hoarse.

Carson explained, "You were asleep when you began to thrash around as if you were having an acute stress attack and you fell out of bed. You were hyperventilating and became delirious. There was nothing we could do to stop it or calm you so we brought you here. However, as soon as he came back through the gate," Dr. Beckett pointed at McKay, who was in the bed next to her, "you calmed down and everything went back to normal. That was half an hour ago and you have been unconscious ever since."

"Oh, I was having the strangest dream," Jennifer remembered. She recounted her dream to Beckett, but he did not seem at all surprised and told her about Rodney.

"Will he be okay?" Keller asked fearfully.

"Oh, he'll be fine," Beckett answered. "Ronon dialed the gate and Sheppard, with Teyla's help, dragged him back through just in time. Though any longer..." He paused and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Well, I don't want to think about what would have happened." Carson paused again not wanting to even consider for even a moment losing either of his friends.

"You're still wearing the rings and they gave off a bright red light the moment the gate shut down. At that time both of you had what appeared to be similar stress or anxiety attacks." Carson stopped and turned away to check on Rodney then turned to face Jennifer again. "It appears as if the text on the rings is to be interpreted quite literally. The two of you will have to stay in proximity of each other. Otherwise…"

Jennifer was not listening anymore. She looked at Rodney, the man who she cared for and loved more than anyone or anything. He was sleeping peacefully. Carson's gaze followed hers.

The Scottish physician tried to reassure her, "He's still sleeping, but everything looks good and he's finally getting some rest, though, he was muttering and wriggling in his sleep before you woke up. Until five minutes ago, he wasn't nearly this peaceful and relaxed. Rodney must have been having a bad dream as well. When they brought him in here, he was also much more difficult to calm down than yourself. That's why we decided to put the two of you together." Carson smiled. "As soon as we brought you in he relaxed except for a bit of the muttering and twitching."

Jennifer stayed in bed a little while longer, but eventually got up, despite the protests of her colleague.

"Where do you think you're going, lass? You can bloody well stay in that bed. You do not need to sit next to him…"

She ignored Carson and his protests, making herself comfortable in the chair next to Rodney's bed and took hold of his hand. Nothing and no one would get between her and Rodney! Jennifer would not let him out of her sight again until he woke up and she, sure as hell, was not going to be separated from him any longer. Before long her head nodded and her eyes closed sleepily. Still holding his hand, she rested her head on the bed next to his chest…

Jennifer was running through the hallways of Atlantis shouting Rodney's name. She tried to talk to other expedition members, but it did not seem as if they could see or hear her. Suddenly there was Colonel Sheppard bouncing down of a flight of stairs and walking towards her.

"John, what's going on?"

He did not stop or respond. He just walked right through her like she was not even there! Jennifer turned around and in front of her stood Ronon. He towered over her, his expression tormented. His size was intimidating and she was just a little frightened. Things had been uneasy between them lately, but now… and he was staring right at her. He could see her.

"You are so much like Melena and you've broken my heart. I thought you were my friend. Instead you've just kept me dangling, crushed me like a bug and then chose McKay over me. I hate you!" Ronon blurted out.

The scene blurred, dissolved and then they were in the hallway again, back on Atlantis, after the Attero device had been destroyed. There was Ronon running to catch up with her. She heard him asking…

Jennifer knew what would happen and she had no desire to watch it again. The beautiful doctor tried to turn around, but she could not nor could she shut out her own voice trying to be diplomatic and telling him that she was in love with Rodney. She heard him say: "I don't," before he ran away. The physician did not need to watch this again to remember the hurt expression.

She felt someone behind her and turned around. It was Ronon again. He had appeared from out of nowhere looking like a broken man. Hadn't he just stalked off in the other direction?

"Look," Jennifer said, "I'm very sorry. I want to be your friend. I am your friend, but that's all I have to give. I know I should have told you sooner, but I didn't want to hurt you. I'm really sorry I did. I-i-it was all just so confusing. We had that moment when the quarantine lockdown happened, but…"

She paused remembering when they had been trapped in the infirmary together. She did not want to say that she had moved on, for the reason that he had not said or done anything after that though she had expected him to. She could not say it was his fault – that would not be fair. She had not said or done anything either, however she was not regretting it. Ronon was not the most talkative person, but he could have at least… He had his chance and had chosen not to pursue.

When he did not, she had decided that it had been just them being trapped together in the infirmary. It had not really meant anything. Jennifer had no regrets about not following through because she did not want to be with him. She would continue to be his friend, but she loved Rodney. She had fallen in love with Rodney.

Ronon:They did not actually kiss… Okay they might have, but nothing happened after that…

Rodney: Rodney had confirmed his break-up with Katie and had also saved her life while they had been trapped in the Genii mining facility with Colonel Carter. They had flirted… no, she had flirted with him. Rodney had been, well, Rodney. They had a drink together. Okay, so it was nothing special, but she had caught all those glimpses of the man Rodney really was and the man he had the potential to be. Even before the Genii-mine thing she had fallen for him. God knows why…

Ronon again:"I'm sorry. It was great that you were there, but it would not have worked, Ronon. I know I'm the first one since Melena and can't begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you. But, deep down, you and I both know we weren't meant to be. I am not Melena and I'm afraid that you might think I am. You obviously still have issues and need to figure them out. If you want, I'm here for you… as a friend. I am in love with Rodney. You can't help who you love. You've saved my life. You probably saved all of our lives and I'm really grateful, but…"

Memories of what had happened on the Daedalus came to her mind. She had turned herself in because she had not wanted to endanger anyone else. What did he expect? That I would just blindly follow him? Do everything he told me to and ignore who I am, what I think and believe in? She had been irritated by his reckless behavior and his demeanor towards her. It had been clear more than ever that they were not made for each other. Any relationship beyond that of friendship was doomed to failure.

"You are dead to me… just like Melena!" Ronon snapped and stalked away.

In a deserted corridor of Atlantis the blonde woman leaned her back against a wall. Her soft brown eyes were wet. She let herself slide down the wall and sat down on the floor. Jennifer hid her head in her hands as she pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head against them.

Why was everything so difficult? Not only with Ronon, but sometimes with Rodney, too. Although she had been in love with Rodney for quite a while, it had been far from easy and it had also been so confusing. It took a long time, a lot of patience, some initiative on her part, her almost dying and Rodney rescuing her, saving her life again; for them to get involved. It had just started to look like it had all been worth it.

Jennifer still sat there on the cold floor, her back against the hard wall, hands crossed, holding her legs to her chest and her head resting on her knees, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Rodney sitting next to her. He took her hand brushing the back with his thumb. She rested her head back on her knees, closed her eyes and tried to relax.

"Hi there," he said. "Wake up!"

She thought that was an odd thing for him to say and opened her eyes to look at him again.

Jennifer was no longer in the hallway, but back in the infirmary, sitting in the chair next to Rodney's bed. Her head was on her arm, resting next to Rodney's chest on the mattress. He was holding her other hand, brushing the back with his thumb. "Hi there, beautiful," he whispered. "Nice to finally see you again. I've missed you. Were you having a bad dream?"

Realizing where she was and what had happened, she said, "You could say that, but I'm fine now."

The doctor gave him a reassuring smile and got up. She relaxed, it had all been a bad dream. But it was so real. She was exceedingly happy and relieved. The past few days the thing she had wanted and longed for the most, was to be close to Rodney again, the man who loved her, the man she loved. Even when he had forgotten almost everything else, reducing him to the core of his existence, he still had remembered that he loved her. She bent down to kiss him, but the scene dissolved…

The physician watched Rodney in front of a camera. They were making a video log. This is a memory, she realized when she heard herself speaking, while she had not wanted to say anything.

What is going on? she wondered. This is when Rodney was infected with the Second Childhood parasite.

"Jennifer, uh, there's something I wanted to, uh, while I remember, while I still can. There's something I wanted to say before…"

Oh god, she thought. This was the sixth day of the log. The day when Rodney had, out of the blue, told her he loved her.

Jennifer heard him say, "I-I-I, I love you. Loved you for some time now."

She had watched the log a thousand times and replayed it many more times in her head. Every detail firmly etched into her brain, she heard him say it, again and again and again… and once more.

She wanted to say she loved him too, change what had happened and was replaying in her mind. However, she made no response, she just was not saying anything. She had lost her ability to speak or even remember the words to say. She had been… thunderstruck. Her mind filled with the mixture of feelings, just like it had been that day.

"I didn't expect you to say that," she tried to say. The understatement of the century, she thought, but this was a memory and she could not change what had happened. The past was the past, immutable and unchangeable.

Rodney blushed at his own boldness, giving her that charmingly shy smile she found so appealing and saw way too little of. He looked down. "Okay, where was I?"

Everything blurred and dissolved. Other memories appeared. Over and over, one after the other they flashed and flickered through her mind:

… in the infirmary, talking to Jeannie.

… sitting in the jumper next to Rodney.

… sitting on his bed, eating his fruit cup.

… watching the recording of day6.

… watching Rodney and his sister talking.

… stroking the back of his head.

… sitting next to him on a bed in the infirmary flirting with him.

… in the infirmary, Rodney next to her with chocolates and flowers.

… lying on a blanket under the stars, cuddled next to him.

… sitting across from him in a private plane wearing a fancy dress and drinking expensive champagne.

… holding his hand.

… he's helping her into his jacket.

… lying on the floor… cold, so very cold.

… going to die and never able to tell Rodney she loves him.

… coughing, Rodney hovering over her.

… raising her head. Rodney helping her to sit up, holding her tightly, rubbing her left arm to restore warmth to her cold, cold body.

"You've saved me."

"Guess that makes us even. I used an axe, a big axe! I mean, I really wish you were conscious, because I think it's the coolest thing I've ever done in my…"

She smiles and kisses him. His eyes searching hers as she pulls back.

… standing in the town hall on R6X-432.

There's no one else but she and Rodney, standing in front of her, the rings already on their fingers. Holding hands, fingers entwined, they are standing exactly on the same spot as before, when they underwent the union-ceremony, just before they fainted. Surrounded by bright light, the most amazing and tantalizing thing Jennifer has ever seen. Just like before, the rings are the source of the light.

"It's the rings," Rodney suddenly states. "They are doing this."

She gazes at him in surprise. This is not a memory. This never happened. Had it all been just a dream? A vision? Illusion mixed with memories?

"Rodney? What's going on? What's happening… to me?"

Rodney does not answer.

"Rodney! What's happening to us?"

TBC

A/N: This sentence: "... lying on a blanket under the stars, cuddled next to him." refers to the last part of the first chapter or prologue.

"... ... Last week Jennifer and Rodney went on a 'moonlight picnic' on the mainland. They enjoyed some wonderful moments under the stars. It's established that they are indeed together and involved. Many people are surprised and most do not understand what someone like Dr. Keller sees in Dr. McKay. The news and gossip spreads rapidly through the city. Follow-up on Season5 Episode18 Identity ... ..."