Chapter 9: Lost
And so, my journey began.
The journey that is still continuing to this day, and will not most likely end until the day I die.
Somehow-- although it was not very surprising in the least, I numb and sore when I awoke the following morning; there was a huge bump on the back of my head that was throbbing wildly, (I figured that it had been swelling since I had left the hospital), and I was still wearing the fading periwinkle robe that they usually tend to slip over your street clothes right when you arrive at the hospital. I groaned. Somehow, during my journey from my world, and into this strange one, the bloodstained bandages that had been wrapped around my head to prevent infection had fallen off, and disappeared into the wind. Was there wind? I wondered, as I sat up, and looked around my peaceful, tranquil surroundings; as I did so, I realized that it probably was morning. And the painkillers they had given me weren't doing their work anymore; no wonder my head was throbbing so... I felt the bump on my head, and groaned again. To make matters worse, I'd probably be getting an infection soon.
And the sun. A huge yellow orb in the blue sky was harshly shining upon my pale face-- paler than usual from all of the tension and fear that I had experienced within the last twenty-four hours, and it had also become bruised during my journey; I must have landed on my face. Wincing in pain, I brought a trembling finger to touch a purple bruise just above my left cheek, and then took it off just as quickly. The pain was killing me. I closed my eyes; trying to remember what had led up to the journey, and how exactly I had ended up in the forest... There had been the black cat-- and the fiery pain after the strange mirror had been shattered over my head. Whatever Jacqueline had done, she had done a damn good job. She had gotten rid of me once and for all, and I didn't know where I was. There was no way home; Jacqueline had probably figured on this... Although I had never realized it before, Jacqueline was crafty. She had planned this journey very well-- My journey... was it a journey, or was it a banishment from the world, people, and places whom I had loved? I felt a stab of pain and comprehension in my empty stomach; I had suddenly remembered that my father was now dead-- although you couldn't really say that I had forgotten it. His death had been in the back of my mind from the moment I had woken up; Jacqueline, the woman whom he had loved so dearly with all of his heart had betrayed him in the ultimate, by killing him without cause or reason. The thoughts were making my head pound. I felt woozy. I suddenly realized that they had used multiple drugs on me back in the hospital; the pain had returned, but I was terribly groggy. Maybe I've been asleep here for days, I thought, standing up on two very shaky legs, and hearing my stomach growl timidly... I hadn't had anything to eat since the apple-- the small bite of heaven that had condemned me.
I looked down at my hands; my fingernails were still stained red, and just looking at them returned the image of the dark red blood that had flowed from my father's corpse after she had murdered him in cold blood, I wonder where Jacqueline is now, I wondered, shaking a bit from the frightening image of the ghostly black cat as Jacqueline transformed, Could this all be a dream? I thought, somewhat hopefully, looking around me, and at the tranquil, lush, surreal greens, and subtle browns. And then, a second voice answered directly after; cruelly-- and rationally, Then why does it all seem so real? A tear rolled down my cheek, but I wiped it away; deciding that it was best to remain strong. Everyone would want be to try to go on, I told myself, hardly believing the calming words. MAGIC-- What sort of magic was going on...? But that was crazy. Simply crazy. It just didn't make sense, after all. There wasn't such a thing as magic, and yet magic was the only thing that could possibly explain what had happened to me. Either way, it didn't make sense, though. Even if I blamed Jacqueline's transformation into a cat before my very eyes on a hallucination... the fact that hospital workers were rushing into rescue me-- that could not be explained. Jacqueline couldn't possibly have smuggled me out of the room, and dumped me in some forest because the room was on the fifth fucking floor.
Any way you wanted to explain it. If magic had had a role to play in my journey, or if it was could all be explained scientifically or whatever, standing around, and exploring my very few options was not the best thing to do in this situation.
And so I began to wander about aimlessly; soon realizing by the leafy-green canopies of the forest that Jacqueline had somehow trapped me inside some bizarre prison from which there was no hope of escape; whatever lay outside of the forest was blocked of what seemed like miles upon miles of endless trees. It was maddening. Simply maddening, "How in the fuck did I ever end up here?" I wondered out loud, as a blue jay began to sing its bittersweet song in a nearby elm tree. It was quite a mystery after all. A mystery I could only hope would one day be solved.
I seldom slept; I was too scared-- too nervous to sleep, and as the days wore on, I began panicking; all I did all day was pace-- going around and around and around in endless circles, all the while wondering why I had been sent here; lost in the God-dammed woods... Hearing strange memories screaming my name in my mind; my stomach growling with hunger, my throat aching with thirst, my body weak, and dying... I was lost.