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BPOV

Wow. I swear that Alice was in that film, it had to be! It had helped though. I was much more animated now, though the depression was digging at the outside of my head. I ignored it for now, I had too. Me being half dead hurt others as well. My stomach growled and I laughed. I looked at my watch. It was 2:30.

"Alice, I'm going to go get some food okay?" She nodded and I went into the kitchen. Esme was there already making me a sandwich.

"You don't have to do that Esme." She looked up at me and smiled.

"I want to Bella. It's the least I can do." I sat down on a chair and watched as she prepared my meal.

"Does that not smell really bad to you?"

"It's bearable."

"What about me being here? I don't want to be a bother—my scent has to be hurting you all."

"Bella, we are all so glad that you are here that we don't mind the smell. And anyway, we're all used to it. Your smell is immune to us. Well not immune, but it doesn't have any pull over us anymore."

"Are you sure?" I asked sceptically. Edward had never gotten used to my scent. Esme realised my line of thinking and answered accordingly.

"Bella, Edward just couldn't let go, he wouldn't let himself let go of the blood lust. He was scared of losing that. If that was gone, he would have no excuse left if he hurt you." I nodded.

"Everyone's been saying about how much he loves me blah, blah, blah, how he left to because he loved me, blah, blah, blah, but him leaving hurt me. He should have known how much it would hurt me, yet he left anyway."

"Bella, my son has a one track mind. He's like you. He did not see any qualities within himself that would explain why you loved him, so he forced himself to believe that you weren't in love with him so much. I can't explain it myself. I'm just sorry that the two of you got hurt so much because of his choices." I smiled slightly.

"Thanks Esme."

"You're welcome Bella. Here." She put my sandwich and a glass of orange juice down in front of you. "Enjoy." She laughed and shook her head. "I can't see it's very appealing myself."

"You can leave if you want? Don't feel you have to sit next to me."

"Bella I like sitting with you. Haven't you noticed, you have a very calming effect on us. Look at how much you changed Jasper!"

"I didn't change him, he changed himself."

"But you helped dear. Stop thinking that you aren't an amazing person."

"How can I think I'm amazing when I'm surrounded by the most beautiful, kind, good hearted, completely self-sacrificing creatures?"

"Bella, you are just as good as we are, never doubt that. You've changed all of us for the better." I didn't answer, knowing that I wasn't going to win this argument. I still disagreed strongly with her. With such good sight, you would expect they all would see a clearer picture.

I sat thinking about Edward's return tomorrow. Despite Alice, Jasper and Esme's assurances that he loved me, I was still doubtful. I would need to make him see that I was good enough for him. I needed Alice.

Right on cue, a scream could be heard from the living room. A cannonball came running through, jumping up and down.

"THANK YOU BELLA! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper came through to see what Alice was so excited about.

"Alice please, don't say anything. Please?" I pleaded with her. I can't believe I was asking her to do this. It wouldn't make him love me, I was deluded.

"Bella," Jasper warned. Stupid empath. I sighed.

"Bella, can Rosalie help." I nodded blindly, my eyes drooping. Maybe I shouldn't do this, it wouldn't help.

"Bella, we'll leave now." Okay, I guess I wasn't getting out of this now then.

"Um, Alice? I'm still in my pyjamas. Can I go get changed first?"

"What's actually going on?" Emmett asked.

"Bella's letting me take her shopping. Rosalie you're coming too. We need to leave now before she changes her mind. Quick! Bella get upstairs! NOW!" I hurriedly got up and went upstairs.

"Geez, you'd think someone was dying." I heard Emmett burst into laughter downstairs.

"Bella! Stop daydreaming!"

"Yes sir!" I yelled. I chucked on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. If Alice was going to drag me round these shops then I was wearing something embarrassing for her. I smiled grimily. I pulled on my trainers and grabbed my coat before running down the stairs.

"Finally!" You'd think I'd been gone for hours. She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out the house.

"Good luck Bella!" I heard Jasper call from the house. She went and got her Porsche.

"No Alice, please say we can take another car."

"Nope, I haven't driven this for years." She hadn't even had it for years. "Bella just get in." I huffed and climbed in reluctantly. So much for going unnoticed.

"Alice, please can you go easy on me? You know what I want; can you just let me get that? Please?" She looked at me with pity and sighed.

"Fine Bella."

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked. It was then I remembered that only Alice knew what I wanted. Alice looked at me, as if to say 'can I tell her?' I nodded, she would find out anyway.

"Bella wants to get something to wear for Edward. When we left, she chucked out every shirt he ever said he liked."

"Okay so we want something in dark blue then?" Alice nodded.

"I already know where we're going and what we're going to get so we'll just go there first." Wow, I didn't think Alice was actually going to do that. It seems Rosalie thought the same thing.

"You sure you'll be able to go into just one shop?"

"Who said anything about one shop?" Well maybe I was wrong. "We need to get Bella other clothes as well, not just for tomorrow. And she needs underwear."

"No way Alice! I'm not buying underwear with you! I don't even need it! Mine is perfectly fine!" But like Alice, she wouldn't back down. Suddenly the car screeched to a halt.

"We're here already?" I asked incredulously. She looked at me like I had two heads.

"Obviously Bella." And so the torture began.

Alice headed straight to topshop where she led straight to the far side. And there on the wall I saw it. It was a short sleeved, silky dark blue shirt. It was perfect.

"Wow Alice, it's gorgeous. I have to get it."

"I know," she said smugly. I took one in my size and went to the changing rooms. I put it on and stared in shock in the mirror. For once I actually looked good. The top was low cut enough to look sexy but without being revealing and the silk clung to my figure, showing off what curves I had. It was perfect. I walked out to show Alice and Rosalie.

Rosalie whistled when she saw me.

"Wow Bella, you look stunning!" I smiled.

"Thanks."

"Edward will be amazed." I giggled.

"Where's Alice?" As I asked the question she walked into the changing rooms.

"Wow, that's gorgeous. It looks even better than it did in my vision." I laughed again. "Right, here are the jeans you're going to wear with it and shoes, now go try on the whole outfit." The jeans were dark grey skinny fitting. Luckily the shoes were flat. They were blue and sparkly. Very Alice. I walked out again and they both clapped when they saw me.

"You look amazing Bella. We have to buy that!"

"I agree. Are you not trying anything on?"

"Nope, today is about you."

"Alice, please?"

"Maybe later Bella but come on. Now you've got that for tomorrow we can get more clothes."

And so it went on. They would hand me a pile of clothes, I would try them on, they would criticise and praise, when I was changing back they would take the clothes and buy them for me, despite my protests. That was until the last shop.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," I said pulling my arm from Alice's and walking to the other side. "I am not going in there. No!"

"Bella, be reasonable. How about if we try on some things to?" I hesitated then. If they were trying on things would it be so bad?

"Fine." And we walked into Victoria's Secret. Oh God, oh god, help. I was blushing whenever I looked up while in front of me, Alice and Rosalie were pulling items from the shelf everywhere. I looked back at the floor and trudged behind them.

"Here Bella." Alice threw a huge pile at me while she and Rosalie stood there with just two things.

"How come I have 10 times more than you guys?" I complained. Alice sighed exasperated.

"Because we don't need as much as you."

"But I don't need any of this." Alice and Rosalie exchanged a knowing glance.

"Oh you will Bella." What the hell was that supposed to mean? I flung myself into a cubicle and looked through the stuff. Okay half of it wasn't that bad but the rest of it, well let's just say it was more Rosalie than me. I flung that pile over into Alice's cubicle.

"No way am I even trying on any of that."

"Spoilsport," I heard her mutter. I laughed and quickly got on with trying the underwear on. Some of it I liked , like this white lacy set, while others were hideous on. After being scrutinised from Alice and Rosalie, they sneaked off to buy my things while I got changed. I went out and they passed me some of my hundreds of bags that I seemed to have collected. Alice looked at her watch.

"We better get back. We have a phone call soon." We walked back to the car, me struggling under the weight of them all and filled up the boot of the giant Porsche. A small crowd had gathered round and were ogling it.

"Geez, it's just a car," muttered Alice.

"Alice you only say that because you are used to big fancy cars. The rest of us aren't so lucky." She looked at me sceptically before pushing past everyone to get in. Another five minutes and we were home.

"Wow, so you survived?" Emmett asked.

"Define survive," I murmured. I was exhausted and about to collapse.

"Alice, look at her, you've run her down!"

"Yeh but you should see the outfit we bought her for Edward." The room went silent.

"Thanks Alice." I picked up my bags and went up to my room, putting them down in the corner, then went and sat on the bed. As I was expecting Alice was upstairs within a minute.

"Bella, I am so sorry. It just slipped out. I was so excited and everything. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine Alice, they would have found out anyway." She smiled at me.

"Would you like some food? Esme made macaroni while we were out."

"Yeh that would be nice." I walked down the stairs with Alice and into the kitchen where Esme put a bowl down in front of me.

"Thank you." Esme was an amazing cook for not actually eating anything.

"You're welcome Bella." As soon as I had finished my meal, the phone rang. This must be the call they were expecting.

"Hello, Cullen household, how can I help you?" Esme said as she picked up the phone. "Sure, I'll just get her. Bella it's for you." I took the phone from her hand and went out into the hallway.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, it's me." Charlie, lovely.

"Dad, if you've phoned to give me a lecture I don't want to hear it. I'm staying here."

"I phoned to tell you sorry. About ranting at you and about Jacob. Billy told me. I'm so sorry Bella. We're coming down in a couple of months to say goodbye. How are you coping?"

"Okay I suppose. Alice has been amazing. She keeps distracting me so it's not on my mind all the time."

"That's good. I'm glad you're with them. They're the only people who could make you smile at a time like this, I know that now. I'm sorry."

"That's okay." There was an awkward silence before Charlie coughed gruffly.

"Well I better go. I'm going round to La Push. See you Bella."

"Bye Dad." I hung up the phone. They were coming down in a few months. To say goodbye. Jacob was actually going to die. Finally, I actually admitted it to myself. Jacob was going to die and here I was panicking about what I was going to wear. The guilt shot through me like an arrow.

"Bella, why are you feeling so guilty?" I jumped and turned round at Jasper's voice.

"Because Jacob is dying and I'm having too much fun!"

"Bella, Jacob wouldn't want you to be worrying about his death." I flinched at the word. "He would want you to try and be happy and get on with your life. You know he would." I nodded in defeat.

"I still feel guilty though."

"That's normal Bells. Everyone feels like that sometimes." I nodded again and sighed. Alice came through and joined us in the hallway.

"Bella, do you want to go to work with Carlisle in the morning, then I have all afternoon to play Bella Barbie?" I nodded, knowing she would get her way somehow. She smiled at me wildly.

"Thank you Bella!" I laughed at her. Thanks to Jasper's talk I felt much better now. Maybe it was okay to smile sometimes too. I saw Alice's expression falter.

"Alice what's wrong?"

"I don't know! Something is going to happen tomorrow and I can't see what!" Something bad to do with me and Edward? It will be. I have awful luck. He's going to kick me out, I know he will. He'll be angry with them. He won't want me. I was always right. Alice spotted my look.

"Bella, I'm sure everything will be fine," she said unconvincingly.

"I'm going to go read." I went back up to the room and took out Wuthering heights. I'd read his book far too often, I really needed to get a better copy. I was able to skim read most of it so by the time I was ready to sleep, I was halfway through the book. I changed in a pair of short pyjamas that Alice had forced me to buy today. I went downstairs and poked my head into the living room.

"I'm going to bed. The human is tired." They all nodded and smiled.

"Do you need any one to come up with you?" I blushed crimson. I was like a pathetic little baby.

"Um no I'll be fine." I walked off quickly and collapsed onto my bed and promptly fell asleep, exhausted after my day.

Once again I woke up screaming. My voice was getting hoarse from this nightly occurrence. Jasper was there to calm be down again and I fell asleep clutching him, his cold skin reminding me of the comfort I found in Edward's arms.

When I woke up, I was still leaning on Jasper. I blushed.

"Oh god, sorry Jasper. You didn't need to stay with me." I looked down at the ground.

"Bella it's fine. You're very amusing in your sleep." Okay that's embarrassing. DO I even want to know what I said?

"What did I say?" I groaned.

"You said I felt like Edward. And that Alice is always too hyper." My blush deepened.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise, I found it rather funny. Anyway Carlisle's going to leave in half an hour so you better get ready quickly." He left the room and I ran around the room, not caring what I put on. I went out the stairs quickly and saw that Esme had some cereal ready for me. I ate it quickly and went through to the living room, where I guessed the rest of the Cullen family were. Alice's frown was deep when I entered the room but she smiled as soon as she noticed I was in the room. The smile didn't reach her eyes though.

"Sorry Carlisle if I've kept you late."

"Not at all Bella." He got up and walked over to me.

"Bella, I'll pick you up at 12, then you can have had your lunch and showered by 1, then we have 4 hours to get you ready," Alice told me. 4 hours? Was I supposed to be alive after that?

"You have it planned?" She looked at me as if to say duh!

"Anyway, Bella we better get it on."

"Oh sorry." Carlisle smiled at me and put a hand on my back as he led me to the garage. We would be taking his Mercedes. At least it wasn't as noticeable as the Porsche. Just.

"So Bella, I'd like to go over some treatments we can give Jacob. Most of these treatments will cause nausea, vomiting, a loss of appetite, headaches and depression. For almost all, he will need to get tested for hepatitis B which we will do today. Hopefully if the lab results come back today we will be able to get him started on either Retrovir or Atripla. In Jacob's case we may be able to use both. Does this sound okay to you? As you are Jacob's only guardian as sorts here it is you who we will need to ask for any major decisions. Including giving him these drugs as the side effects can be quite serious in some cases. How does this sound to you?" I didn't understand any of it, expect I was responsible for the decisions concerning Jacob and the drugs are harmful.

"Um, it sounds okay?" It came out sounding like a question. He laughed at me.

"its okay that was a bit overwhelming. I'll give you my advice from a medical point of view, I hope you'll agree with it, then it's much much easier." I nodded in reply this time. By this time however we had reached the hospital.

"Wow, you drive almost as fast as Alice." He laughed at me again.

"Come on, let's go see your friend."

Once again I found myself walking through one of the most depressing places I had been to. When we got to Jacob's room Carlisle had to go.

"I'll give you 5 minutes to talk. I need to fetch my things." I walked into his room and Jacob sat up properly when I entered.

"Bella, you weren't here yesterday."

"I'm sorry. I just needed a break from all this, what with the news and everything. How are you?"

"I'm doing better. I've kinda accepted that it's going to happen. I'm trying to look on the bright side of things."

"That's good. Listen I'm getting picked up at 12. Edward's coming back today." I looked down at the ground, feeling guilty.

"Bella, it's okay. Much as it hurts, you deserve to be happy and he makes you happy."

"I'm sorry Jacob."

"Bella, it's fine." Carlisle walked through the door then.

"Good morning Jacob. How are you today?"

"I'm feeling a bit better."

"Pain scale?"

"Um about 4."

"I just need to draw some more blood, we need to do some tests to see what treatment to give you. Hopefully it will all be fine." I just heard the word blood before I froze. I clutched the sides of my seat. I watched as the Carlisle slowly pushed the large needle into Jacob's vein. I felt sick to the skin. I inhaled and the smell of the blood reached me. I was feeling sicker and sicker and the room was starting to spin.

"Um...C..Carlisle?" I managed before the sickness grew. He looked round worried. He took one look at me and pressed the call button. A nurse immediately came into the room and Carlisle nodded at me.

"Um, would you like to come with me? We can go get a glass of water." She grasped my arm and I leant most of my weight on her before walking shakily out the room.

"Not a fan of blood?" she asked as she sat me down on a chair. I shook my head and put my head between my knees taking deep breaths until the nausea a passed.

"Here." I looked up and the nurse held out a glass of water. I gulped it down and sat back.

"Thank you," I said weakly.

"My pleasure dearie. You stay here until you feel better." A few minutes later Carlisle came and stood in front of me.

"Sorry Bella I should have warned you. Are you feeling any better?"

"A little."

"Well you can go back to Jacob now. I've made sure it doesn't smell any more."

"Thanks."

It was almost 5 hours later and I had been primped to within an inch of my life. I had to say I looked kind of good. For a human anyway. Alice and Rosalie admired me before we all went down to group in the living room to wait nervously for his arrival.

EPOV

I'd just got off the phone to Alice and let's just say I was worried. What had happened to Bella that was so important that she needed me back? Something had to have happened to her. First though I needed to phone the airlines and book a flight. After talking to an obnoxious woman on the phone, my flight was booked. Now I just needed to look vaguely presentable. I'm not sure why I wanted to look good, I just had a feeling that it would be better. I sneaked into someone's empty house and showered as fast as possible. I then went and bought some decent clothes and left for the airport. I had all night to wait but I had nowhere else to go. I might as well wait there.

My mind had blanked itself and before I knew it I was on the flight and halfway to Seattle. I shook my head. I had completely lost it. I looked around me, luckily I was in first class and therefore I had no one around me. I kindly declined the offer of a drink from a hostess who looked like she was offering far more and prepared myself to watch some crap film. I didn't even know what it was. When it finished, luckily I was saved from another as Michigan City was nearing and we were ordered to put on our seatbelts. I don't know why the sudden change of emotion within me, but I felt that something good was coming. I was looking forward to living in the human world again. The plane touched down and I was off out the door and running to their new house. Then I caught the smell. I could never forget it. It was Bella. I growled and started running faster. What had they done? I reached the house and opened the door, the smell growing stronger as I made it through the house and into the living room. The sight stopped me in my tracks. I was right. Bella was here. And she looked better than I remembered. She looked like an angel, like someone from my dreams. She was wearing a tight dark blue silk shirt. My favourite colour. I stared at her in shock. My head was rushing with emotions. Love; lust; nervousness; love again; and finally anger. Anger at Alice who had brought her here. Anger at my whole family for endangering her again. Without thinking I turned and growled at Alice.

"Why the hell is Bella here?" I heard Bella gasp, stifle a sob and I turned back to her but she had already left ran from the room. Then I heard a low snarl from Jasper, and Alice glared at me before launching herself across the room towards me. No one tried to stop her. She crashed into and stared hitting every inch of me.

"You BASTARD! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH SHE WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU? AND YOU WENT AND BROKE HER HEART AGAIN! EDWARD CULLEN YOU ARE THE MOST INSENSITOVE COW I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO MEET! I HATE YOU!" That stumped me.

"Alice why is she even here?"

"Jacob is in hospital. He was transferred here." She stopped hitting me and ran back to Jasper who wrapped his arms around her.

"Edward you better fix this mess. You have no idea how much she wanted you. She even asked Alice to go shopping for something nice to wear for today. For you." Jasper than through every memory he had of Bella talking about me. I was stunned.

"Fuck I'm so sorry. I need to go find her."

"We're coming with you. I don't trust you," snarled Alice. Just then we need a cry of pain from somewhere outside. Bella. Before anyone could stop me I was running. The others following but I was only concentrating on one thing. I had to get to my Bella. My angel.

BPOV

He came through the door and stared at me in shock. I saw a rush of emotions go through him, was that lust? Then he finally turned to Alice and growled at her.

"Why the hell is Bella here?" I couldn't help it. I gasped and tried to stifle a sob. But it was too late. I was right. He didn't want me, no one could. I had to get away and so I turned and ran. I ran into the forest outside their house and kept on running. Running and running, away from my source of pain. Then I tripped. I heard a crack and I screamed in pain. I couldn't get up. It was too sore. The tears leaked out, for the pain in my wrist and for the pain in my broken heart. I sobbed and sobbed as the rain poured down on me, soaking me. Then someone's arms were on me.

"Bella, Bella, I'm so so sorry. I love you. Bella please be okay." Edward wrapped his arms around me and picked me up. I think I saw the other Cullen's there as well. "Carlisle I think she's broken her wrist."

"Let's get her back to the house." Then he was running. I buried my face in his chest, knowing this would be my last chance at being close to him.

"Bella my love, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, please. I love you so much, so so much. Please forgive me my love." But the roaring pain in my wrist was keeping from answering. I could tell we were almost at the house now, they were beginning to slow. Then I heard Alice shout from behind.

"NOOOOO!" Edward stopped suddenly and out me behind him, growling protectively. The rest of the Cullens surrounded me protectively. It was just like my dream. There was loads of them, newborn vampires and Laurent, the one who was supposed to be on our side. But there in the middle, standing in the middle of the house was the greatest fear of all. It was Victoria. She was back.

thank you for reading!! Nice long chapter for you! I'm going to Inverness for a week in a couple of days so I am so so so sorry if I dont manage another update before I leave. I'll be away for a week and I'll be camping with no access to the internet. sorry!!! please review!!!!!