Disclaimer: Can any of us really claim to own anything? I mean what kind of materialistic society do we live in today? I refuse to claim ownership for anything ***hehehe, that means…I refuse to take responsibility for anything *_* Sneaky, huh?***

Warning: Watch out for saccharine ahead. Some say blood and guts, I say blood and sugar.

Author's note: Yep, it's me again, escaping from reality. I know you can't recognize me because I'm hiding under a desk with a maniac chipmunk dancing on my head (I think his name is 'Chippie.' *laughs* Just kidding, I'm not under a desk. Here chippie have an acorn. *sighs* This is not the kinda of chippie I imagined would be over at my house.

Well, once again you are about to be treated to Kai's past. I'm tossing in all sorts of clues of what's coming, so keep you're eyes open. This will touch on important things that happened over three years. I'm trying to get to the present but there is so much past. *laughs*

I don't think I have any translation tips for this one, so instead I'm going to be really nice and answer one question I got from a reviewer *waves "Hi Lyn"* Of course, the answer is at the end of the chapter *MWAHAHAHAH*

A World So Cold

Chapter X: Look into their Eyes

The chains holding the boy's body to the wall were unlocked, allowing the limp body to complete its collapse to the floor. Voltaire stood in the doorway watching as Hedeon picked up the thin body of his grandson. Motioning for Hedeon to follow him, he led the way through the dark corridors. Without warning, a turn in the path led them into a brightly lit, starkly empty hall. Branching off from this new hall were a multitude of rooms, all antiseptically clean and bustling with people and equipment.

Voltaire stopped at a sealed door labeled 101. Typing a complex series of numbers into a keypad, he opened the door and gestured for Hedeon to precede him inside. A group of men in white coats gathered around the table that the scarred man laid the limp body on. Even though the boy was obviously unconscious and was visible starved and wounded, the men wasted no time in securing him with restraints. Once the ankle, wrist and neck restraints were applied the men stepped back waiting for commands from Voltaire.

The large man approached and stood glaring down at Kai's still form. Damn you, I was so close. I don't know where you got that strength from.

From the monitor in his secret room, he had seen the trembling form of his grandson slowly fight back against the cold. He had only been able to watch as the tremors stopped and the boy's red core deepened. He had been waiting for the last few days for the cold to break Kai, knowing that it would provide him the perfect opportunity to reclaim him. Somehow, Kai had disrupted that plan. Voltaire knew that the new strength would allow Kai to continue with his defiance, even to the point of death. I won't allow you that escape. You are mine. I will only allow your death when it serves me best.

"What are you waiting for? Idiots, he's of no use to me dead."

Voltaire turned and left the room without another word. Hedeon remained behind, his dark eyes watching as the scientists swarmed around the boy's body. With practiced ease, an IV was placed in each arm, a light yellow fluid dripped slowly into his left arm while a clear fluid flowed into his right. His torn and bloody shirt was cut off so small pads could be placed on his chest. A soft, rhythmic beep could be heard filling the silence of the room. A small mask was placed on Kai's face, covering his nose and mouth. A faint sheen of fog could be seen with each ragged breath he took. Using a large needle, one of the scientists was extracting dark blood from the vein running down Kai's neck while another was piercing his wrist to draw out bright red blood.

Despite the voices of the men around him and the repeated invasion of needles, the boy lay still. Bored, Hedeon left the room. He only hoped that the current activity would allow the boy to wake up enough for a little fun.

Kai was aware of the activity around him, but was too deeply entranced to react to it. He focused only on Dranzer and the bond they shared, shutting out the rest of the world and the pain it held.

***flashback***

The golden summer passed quickly for Kai. Everyday was spent with Ran, playing in the clearing or having adventures in the woods and each evening he would return home to Nadya. Dinners were usually quiet. The blonde devil would join them for dinner, but Kai didn't let this stop him from enjoying his time with Nadya. After dinner they would play a quiet game by the fireplace and then she would carry him upstairs to bed. Kai didn't know which he liked more, her bedtime stories or the songs she would play for him.

Those last evening hours were Nadya's favorite time of the day as well. She, too, didn't know which she loved more, hearing Kai's sweet voice singing as she played her guitar or the soft question he always asked before drifting off to sleep.

"Nadya, why do you call me Akemi?"

She would always laugh softly at this, for no matter how many times she answered him, he would always ask again. It had become their ritual.

Gazing deep into his gem-like blue-green eyes, she replied, "Because you are my beautiful sunrise. Every time I see you, you bring me the hope of a new day."

Kai would giggle sleepily at this, he always found it a silly answer. But he was always comforted by this and would drift off into a quiet slumber.

Before he knew it, the summer came to an end and he found himself packed and bundled back into the car. He watched forlornly as the car drove away from the chateau. He briefly saw crimson eyes peering out at him from the branches of a tree they passed. He waved frantically, giving a silent promise to his friend that he would return the next summer.

Kai found that the abbey had changed since he had left. Upon returning, he found that his routine had changed as well. His grandfather had not known much about beyblading the previous year and had always been ordering Kai to demonstrate with his beyblade. It seemed Voltaire had done a lot of research while Kai was away. Instead of demonstrations, Kai's grandfather now had him doing drills. Unfortunately, the endless training did not stop the scientists from continuing with their studies. In fact, the experiments got more focused. They started combining the drugs and blood draws with his beyblade training.

Again, Nadya seemed to be pulled from him, only being allowed to see him a few times a month. Adversely, he found his mother's visits were increasing. His mother now had made it customary to visit him once a month. He always feared her visits, he never knew if she would just sit and speak quietly with him, or if she would suddenly become enraged with him and use the locket tethered around his neck to choke him. He had tried many times to remove the locket, but the chain had no clasp. He had worn it since he was tiny and he had grown enough that he couldn't remove it from over his head. Some of the scars that decorated his throat were from his own attempts to remove the chain.

Through it all he endured, focusing only on the summer to come. Finally, he was rewarded. He found himself and Nadya headed back to Japan with Hedeon as their only shadow.

----------------

Walking timidly into the clearing, the small seven year old looked hopefully around for his friend. He wasn't disappointed. A slightly taller boy with crimson eyes strode into the clearing from the other side, a large grin on his face.

"Guess what, Kai," the boy said in Russian. "I've been practicing."

Kai's mouth dropped open in surprise at his friend, too shocked to even speak.

Peals of laughter greeted this, "I convinced Mama that I needed a tutor Then, I convinced the tutor that I needed to know Russian. So viola, Russian."

Kai's laughter joined his and the boys immediately resumed where they had left off.

"Kai, I want to show you something," Ran said enthusiastically, pulling out a shiny beyblade from his pocket. "Let's battle."

Kai was reluctant to beyblade. He had forgotten the joy it could hold, but he didn't want to disappoint his friend. He pulled out his small blue blade and they both launched into the beydish located in the middle of the clearing.

As the blades circled and fought, Ran smiled at his friend.

"Hey, you've really gotten better. But then again, so have I. And you haven't even seen my secret weapon yet."

A strong wind kicked up around the beydish and Kai could see a bright light shining from the bit on the top of the blade. Suddenly a large animal rose from the blade. It looked like a bird, but it was much too large for that and its tail feathers were too long. Kai stared in awe at the pale golden beast. It seemed to be surrounded by a soft fire and moved with a stately grace. Before he could react, he found his blade flying from the dish to land on the ground beside him.

"Wow, what was that?"

"That is Zephyr," Ran replied, staring proudly up at his beast. "He's a phoenix. The phoenix is supposed to be immortal, that means he can't die. And it must be true because he's been in my family for as long as anyone can remember. He's sort of like a spirit animal that has guided and protected our clan. Papa said he is my guardian now."

Kai was bewitched by the majestic beauty and ancient wisdom he felt from the phoenix. As often as Ran challenged him to battle, he was ready. Even if he lost to his friend, he would at least be able to see the phoenix's grace as it repeatedly tossed his blade from the dish.

That evening as he was tucked in for bed he asked Nadya about the phoenix.

"Hmm, so you want to know about the mythical phoenix, do you? Well, let's see. The phoenix is believed to be a symbol of loyalty and honesty. Its voice is supposed to be so beautiful that even the sun stops its travel across the sky to listen when the phoenix sings. According to legend, there is only one phoenix in the world."

"Do you think he's lonely?" the small boy asked in a sad voice.

"I suppose he could be," she replied honestly. "But just because he is the only phoenix, doesn't mean he can't make other friends."

The boy smiled at this and asked, "Is it true that the phoenix lives forever?"

"Akemi, my but you do ask difficult questions," she said laughing. "The phoenix lives a very long time, some say a thousand years, but he doesn't live forever. You see, he dies, consumed in his own fire, and a new phoenix is born. The new phoenix is a blend of the old phoenix and new possibilities. This is probably why the phoenix is so wise, its knowledge only grows with time."

"But why would they say it's immortal if it dies?"

"Dearheart, everything dies. But the phoenix experiences life and death endlessly, and that is as much like immortality as anything could be."

The gem-like eyes darkened at this. The small boy had preferred the idea that the phoenix would never die. Yawning sleepily, he asked one last question.

"Nadya, why do you call me Akemi?"

-------------------------

The summer passed swiftly and upon his return to the abbey, more changes greeted him. A new trainer had appeared, a large man that Kai could only describe as evil. The man was named Boris and he seemed to take a certain joy at finding fault in everything Kai did. Kai's training sessions began to last longer, and punishment for poor performances became a certainty.

 He also found he was not alone anymore in his training sessions. His grandfather had recruited many other children to come and train at the abbey. At first, Kai was happy to find this. He believed that he could make allies and friends of the other boys. However, he was quickly dissuaded from that idea. The other boys endured the same rigorous training schedule as him, with one key difference. They did not have to endure the experiments that he did. And because they did not know why he would repeatedly miss hard training sessions, they resented him, thinking that he was excused from them because he was Voltaire's grandson. They took to bullying him to make up for what they considered was unfair treatment.

Returning to his room after one such attack, Kai found his mother waiting for him. Her hard silver eyes watched as he bowed politely to her and took the chair across the table from her. Without taking her eyes from his bruised and bloody face she rose and crossed over to him. Kai suppressed the flinch that he knew would only anger her and sat quietly as she reached down and caressed his face. As his wide eyes looked up into hers, he was surprised to see soft blue-green eyes looking down at him, the usually impassive silver eyes mirroring his own. Her eyes seemed to be the one thing that Kai had inherited, hazel eyes that seemed to change with one's mood.

"Gavriil, I have need of you."

At her request, the tall blonde seemed to materialize at her side with a deep bow.

"It seems my son does not know how to defend himself. I want you to teach him."

"Yes, my Lady Marya," Gavriil replied with another deep bow. Turning to Kai, he continued "You will wait for me each day after training. I will meet you in the main training hall."

Marya rose at this, her eyes changing back to flint. As she left the room she gave one last instruction to her blonde shadow.

"Try not to hurt him too much."

From that day on, he had one more thing to endure. Gavriil seemed to pay no mind to his mistress's final instruction. He seemed to derive pleasure from beating the boy each evening. But Kai endured. In fact he learned, despite his teacher's cruel methods. But each time he started to feel he could defend and attack against Gavriil, the man would change his style, forcing him to endure more pain before he could adapt.

-----------------

Summer finally came, but Kai didn't feel the joy he normally did. He was anxious about spending the summer with Nadya and Ran. He knew that he had changed a lot in the past few years, maybe he had changed too much. He was worried that seeing his friend would destroy the illusion of friendship that he felt he could still claim.

The first morning at the chateau, Nadya had to practically toss the silent boy out of the house. She was concerned for him, she rarely heard him laugh, and he had stopped singing for her in the evenings. She only hoped that seeing his old friend would help bring him back to her.

When he entered the meadow, he found Ran already there practicing with Zephyr in the beydish. Ran looked up with a large grin at the sound of Kai coming through the trees. His smile quickly faded as he caught sight of his friend's eyes. His own family seemed bland to him, everyone had black hair and various shades of crimson eyes. Because of this he had always been fascinated with his friend's eyes, how they seemed to change color at times. In the years that he had known Kai, he had learned to read his eyes to gauge his feelings.

The darker the eyes, the more intensely his friend's emotions were running. Green meant calm and peaceful, while blue meant mischievous. The gem-like blue-green that had always been the most prevalent was always seen when he was happy and playing or if he was concerned with another. But it was times like now that always worried Ran. Kai's eyes were dark, almost black. He had only ever seen this color when Kai was hurt or upset. It worried him that each time his friend returned, that darkness seemed to have a stronger hold.

"Wanna battle?" the dark haired boy scooped up his blade and approached his friend.

The eight year old stepped back and reached into his pocket to grip his blade. He didn't want to battle, all he had done since the last summer was beybattle. He knew he was good, after all defeat meant punishment, and he didn't want see what would happen if he defeated his friend. He looked up to Ran, he wasn't sure what could be worse, how Ran would feel when he defeated him or how he would feel seeing his best friend/big brother defeated. He depended on Ran's strength and didn't want to see anything that would show he could be weak.

"No," he shook his head at Ran's invitation. "I don't want to battle now."

Ran had seen his subtle retreat and looked his friend over carefully. He saw more delicate white scars peeking out from Kai's open collar. His eyes narrowed as he took note of the long sleeve shirt and pants that the boy was wearing for the warm summer day.

"Alright," Ran said slowly. "Wanna climb?"

At Kai's nod, the two boys moved to the largest tree and soon were high up in its concealing branches. Over the next week and a half, the two boys could be found at anytime in that tree. They only came down for snacks and when the sun set. Slowly, Kai opened up to his friend, telling him some of what happened while he was at the abbey. Kai knew there was nothing his friend could do, so he only told Ran about the training Boris put him through and about Gavriil's lessons. He didn't mention the experiments or punishments, nor did he mention his mother's treatment of him. He felt too much shame for the things that he considered to be his fault. Ran didn't push, but would listen quietly to anything that Kai said. Ran took his friendship and adoptive older brother roles very seriously.

It was almost three weeks into the summer before Kai's eyes lost their darkness, and another full week before he gave his first genuine smile. The boys began to spend more time playing and less in serious conversation. Kai even rediscovered his joy in beyblading before the summer ended.

The last day of the summer found the two boys again high in the concealing branches of the largest tree.

"Ran, I'm scared," Kai looked away from his friend feeling weak and foolish.

"Me, too," replied Ran seriously. He didn't like seeing his friend return each summer seemingly lost deeper each time in darkness. "You could stay with me, you and Nadya. I'm sure my papa wouldn't mind."

Kai looked up momentarily, his eyes bright with hope, before a crestfallen look came on him. "No, that won't work. Grandfather would never allow it."

He couldn't help but think of the times Nadya had been punished for interfering with his Grandfather's plans and punishments. There was no way he would let Ran risk that.

"Just promise me that we'll always be friends, Ran"

"What kinda request is that?" Ran said with false indignanty. "Didn't we pinky promise on that already?"

Ran held out his pinky to Kai, who only laughed at the child-like gesture. Linking pinkies, they both laughed.

"Kai, remember, I'm always here for you, I want you to come to me if you ever need help." Ran's face became serious again as he released Kai's hand. "I also want you to remember that you've never done anything to deserve punishment. They are the ones who are wrong, not you. Try not to let the darkness in."

Kai remained silent at this before replying, "I'll try."

Hearing Nadya calling for him to return home, Kai leapt down and with a sad wave turned and ran home. Ran watched him leave, fearful of what he would see the next time they met.

---------------tbc

Hope you like chibi Kai and Ran. Am I doing a good job of showing Kai's fall from grace? Just wondering.

*drumroll* Now for the reviewer question…

The answer is………. Yes

*laughs hysterically*

Just kidding. I get to pick the question, so as far as why Dranzer suddenly burned in Rei's hand…. Kai had been cut off from Dranzer and despite trying to reach him through their bond, he was too weak and the distance was too great. When the plane approached Japan, Dranzer and Kai both felt the fire flame bright within and reacted to the re-establishment of their bond. So, the meaning behind it is…..(can you guess where Kai is? ^_~)

Now, here's a question for you guys. Anyone out there able to tell me the meaning behind 'Room 101'? You only get one hint, if you don't know, ask your English teacher. (that was the hint *_~) It's from a really good book (obviously). Hence the English teacher

Huggles with chibi Kai for anyone who knows.

Special Thanks to:

Frostt: Yes, you all have Frostt to thank for Chippie. And I encourage everyone to check out our budding new authoress. Frostt has posted her first fic. It is a Kai torture, what else?, called Gone in a Flash. Please give her a little light, the first is the hardest.

Lyn/Lin: Yea!! Many more reviews!!! I hope you didn't stay up waiting for this chapter, and you definitely shouldn't for the next. I'm glad you enjoy my chappies, I love knowing that I'm giving readers that 'argh!' feeling at the end of the chapter. It means I really had you 'in the moment.' Ran is definitely important to the story, and you will find out later what happened to him and all of Kai's family. So stick around. ^_^ Ohh, I don't hate Kai, I love him. Think of it this way, I'm not the one torturing him, his so-called family did that, I'm only trying to shine a little light so others can understand his tortured soul (^_~ what do you think? Good answer?)

Elves of the Moon: Wah!!! ;_; I want more!!! Thanks for the fantastic praise. Yes, I'm sure no Kai/Rei in this story. Perhaps if I ever get started on Beautiful Goodbye, you'll come back for more. Otherwise, hope you still enjoy this one.

Rei-chan:  I will say someone will die, probably several someones, but I will not say who. *MWAHahahaha* Stick around.

Summing up the Stars: Thanks, I really appreciate that you like my style of writing. I have to do my best to give justice to my beautiful kai.

Cosmos angel: Don't worry, no yaoi here. Glad you are enjoying. See ya next chappie.

Othela: Yea! That's just the response I wanted. Hope you enjoyed this saccharine chapter as well.

Dragonblade: Rei and the others take center stage in the next chappie. Hope you come back for it.

I hope you enjoyed. I had some heavy chapters, so I'm doing some relatively light ones now. Don't worry, pain, anguish and sorrow will be coming up. Please be sure to let me know if I make you cry ^_~

Next chapter is Drift Away.