So I wanna thank Crystal (sexysadie) for her reviews once more of the last two chapters. I DO NOT OWN THE LYRICS IN THIS CHAPTER. THEY BELONG SOLEY TO THE ARTIST SARAH MCLACHLAN. SONG: FEAR. NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED.!!!! Oh yes and enjoy the rat I made in this story. He had a small role in the film and he wasn't crooked, but I made him crooked *evil laugh* enjoy!!!

Chapter 9: He Says You're Sentence Pt. 1

*(Nick's P.O.V.)*

"I killed them. I killed my family. "

"Well, your son is still alive. " Wallis spoke giving me a sigh.

My son. Luke. Luke is alive. How can he be when that fucker... My boy. I need him; I need to see him.

"What?"

"Barely." She spoke again.

"Where is he? Is here? Where is he?" A jolt of hope filled me again. The monitors started to frantically beep and I ripped the oxygen from my nose. It was painful to get up, but I didn't care now. All that mattered was that my son was alive.

Wallis's hand shot out. "Whoa, whoa. Hey come on, wait a second now." I jerked my arm from her grasp and pushed myself up. "Luke. Luke." I was frantic, if I didn't see him soon enough then it wouldn't feel like he was all I had. The monitors had no mind as I pushed my way past the cop. "It's all right." Wallis interjected. "Lucas. Lucas," I ran head on into a nurse. "Where's my son?" She grabbed a hold of my arm. "You need to get back to bed!" I jerked her hard. "Tell me where my son is!"

Her eyes softened. "He's in room 206." It didn't take me anytime he just down the hall from my reach. "Lukey. Luke." Voices and footsteps echoed behind me, but I didn't care what they said. "We're taking good care of your son."

"Doctor it's ok, just let him see him." Wallis's voice somewhere far off. I pushed myself into the doorway. My boy lay in the white bed, draped in a white blanket with bruises making him dark. He didn't look like Luke. And it was my fault. "Is he gonna wake up?" I spoke out. Like it echoed off the walls, not really expecting a valid answer. The one I was hoping for, needing to hear anyway.

"I can't say right now."

Then what the hell could you say? If hospitals can't fix people... Things aren't simple.

"It was never gonna balance." I spoke up.

Wallis clicked her tongue before speaking. "What did you say?"

"The equation. Sometimes it's just," I paused. "Chaos. It's all there is. I'd like a minute with him." Her silence wasn't golden. She hadn't done her job as a cop to anyone, and I hadn't done my job as a father. I turned, pleading with her. Pleading was all I had left in me as of this moment, but it wasn't the only thing circulating. She was right, I was dangerous, even to myself.

She sighed and clicked her tongue before moving forward and speaking. "I'll be outside." With that said she closed the door. The silence hit, and was painful. I placed myself in the chair and stared at what was left of my fourteen-year old. Just a kid. How could I have let this happen? I made it worse. "Hey Lukey can you hear me," I grabbed his hand. Cold and still. "Son just move your fingers if you can hear me." His hand was still. He wouldn't speak even if he could, not to me. Not after what I'd done.

"Luke I know that you didn't think I'd cared about you as much as your brother. You or Kass." I struggled with my words, but needed to say them one last time. "And good uh maybe I didn't at first." I choked on my own words. "You know uh when your mom and I first had Brendan he was just, he was so amazing to me. He was like uh, he was like this miracle kid. I didn't know exactly what to expect with him. Even though Kass came about year before him, your mom she took to her so well. Our first baby together, our first daughter. And I was confused as to what to do with a little girl, at first ya know? She was so vibrant and so beautiful. So tiny and pink. She didn't like to do certain things other babies did and I just thought she was unusual and then.. You came along. And I don't know I uh kind of expected to have another Brendan, you were my second son. I expected you to be like him, but, but you weren't. You were so different. Different than him and different than me. You were just so much more like your mom and your sister. Stubborn and.. Kass she looked just like her. Hair always down. Our first child.'

It hit me. Helen wasn't here holding my hand, or being forgiving. I'd killed the person I had started this family with. We weren't perfect and I couldn't see that we weren't fine.

"To much passion. Your mother oh she meant the world to me. And so do you. I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much and I love your brother. I love your mother. And I love your sister. I love our family." I choked on my words as my throat burned. That family was gone now. I had to fight for it, make sure it would stay alive for good. And no matter where that bastard put Kassia I would take him down. "I am so sorry that I wasn't a better father. I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you guys." He lay unmoving giving me one final surge of voice. I picked myself up and off the chair and leaned over him. I placed a kiss on his cold and battered forehead. I wasn't going back. The emotions came one last time over me and I had to wash them down. I strayed over his head a moment longer, avoiding the massive stitches. I sucked the emotional tidal wave and straightened my face. This was it. I stood up straight and already knew as I headed straight for that bathroom window. I had nothing left and nothing or anyone was going to stop me! I was going to finish this off!

~****************~

(Kassia)

I remained unmoving. The warmth running between my legs vigorously took notice early on as Billy left the room. Deciding against the cleanliness of this hellhole I got up and stumbled with the pain. I held my stomach and that's when the fact of having to pee really hit me. That bastard let me go this long without it. Luckily when I pushed the door open everything looked sanitary. Can't have Billy Darley running around with a sexually transmitted disease or god forbid some kind of rusty disease on his tools.

I held onto my stomach and the queasy feeling hit me with force. I fumbled frantically with my raw hand over my mouth and finally my fingers were rewarded with a light switch. The toilet lid already left up I threw my head into it and the nausea poured from me. "Oh god." I whimpered between breathless pants. Everything that happened I couldn't deny or hide it. Billy didn't think I was strong enough to fight him off or kill myself. Maybe if I proved him wrong?

What has happened to you? Look what you're letting this man do to you.

He's not a man he's a monster. So am I.

You can't protect everyone Kassia. Why don't you start protecting yourself.

There's nothing left of me. Everything is gone. If I had told someone.

Kassia. It warned me. I warned myself. Fuck you.

Darley was smart because on the sink lay something that caught my eye. A fresh razor. I picked it up after wiping my mouth as the silent tears slipped down my face. The blade's shimmer danced off the light. Not my usual, but I'd take it. Time was loosing grip now and though I knew it was the next day I didn't know how much time within the day had passed. The roars of thunder outside and the beating of the rain against the dim windows came from the outside. I knew Billy would have ways around every escape. By now I knew he left nothing easy. He'd given me a route, and I wanted to cause him trouble. I pushed the blade to my skin, skimming the surface.

I hadn't noticed the slam of a door. The blade touched just the skin was inflamed and I pressed down. Harder and deeper. And just a little harder as a sprout of blood surfaced. This outta slow that fucker down some. The deeper it got against my wrist. I've never cut here before.. It feels and just as I started to drag it the door flew open and dark hands shot out and grabbed me by my naked waist. I struggled against them.

"No get the hell off of me! Stop it let me go Bodie!" Had Billy sent him back ahead of time thinking I was a waste? Knowing all to well what I'd do. "Kassia don't you fucking do this!" Rowan the voice was his.... My heart leapt into my throat, but what right did he think he had? "Get off of me!" I jerked even harder. "Get off you ass hole. You lied to me why didn't you tell me? That motherfucker killed my brother. You sat there the entire time on his side. And you're related to these fuckers. They killed my parents and Luke. My baby brother. Are you happy? Are you?" I shouted as loud as my lungs would let me. I hadn't even cared that I was bare for Rowan to see. Someone had already violated all I had left to me, what mattered who saw the torn shreds of it?

He was moving, hobbling trying not to touch my bare body in the way he knew Billy had even by accident. "Kassia please calm down baby girl please!" He pleaded with me. He yanked the quilt hanging to the right of the bed and threw it around me. I tried to shrug it off. "You wanna fuck me now Rowan? Come on," Haven't you heard I'm the newest little orphan made bitch/ whore." He fought to keep a hold of me. I noticed the long wide bandage strapped up his leg, attached to a blue brace type thing. I had the urge to kick it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Kassia!" He yelled again. "Stop it. I won't let you hurt yourself because of what this fucker did. I know you've lost your family, but your not loosing yourself. You hear me your not gonna and I won't let you." He shook me now and wrapped the quilt further around me. "I'm so sorry I couldn't help you. Bodie promised me they'd stay off. But then your pops went after Joe and I... Kass you gotta understand they're my family. They aren't like you. Someone stepped onto our turf and they had to protect it. I can't go against my brother. But if I knew what Billy had planned I would have. But he fucking loved Joe so much and you have to know how bad it hurt. Imagine if your Mama left you with a man who beat you to death and forced you to raise your little brother in the only way you know how. Wanting the best for him, but not knowing anything other then where his heart is. What if someone took the only one you had..." He paused. "All of your life. All you ever knew. It was never anything personal until Nick came after Joe baby girl and I know it's hard to hear. This is why I never wanted you to know things in my life. We do what we gotta do."

He's right. Someone did take my one and only. My baby brother. It all clicked into motion and I knew why the two men went after each other. I was on the opposing end. My heart was still inside. I had my mother's understanding and forgiveness and I had Rowan to think about. I'd loved someone from this side and I was protecting them. It's hard to see past the red when it's all over your eyes.... One short day, not even after what had happened. Everything moves so fast. I shut my eyes and felt the scream bubbling up. Right in front of me was the reason for my living now. And he cared about Bodie and from the looks of it the entire family. You feel how jealous he seemed and I'd understood it.

But if you feel all the jealously and someone in your family is threatened, hurt or killed. Then you realize just how much you did love them. And you'd take back any crappy thing just to have them back even if you went across the fucking country. I felt it all bubble to the surface and my legs from beneath me and Rowan caught them. I let out a high pitched scream for what seemed like seconds. I planted myself into Rowan's warm chest and let the tears racket my body. "There all gone. What the hell am I supposed to do. Luke. He just killed them. How can you all do it, how?" He rubbed my back.

"I can't that's why Billy doesn't..." He trailed off. I lifted my face from his chest as the tears continued to fall. "You loved him didn't you? Joe?" I spoke simply as Rowan's eyes registered shock. "I. Kass next to you not knowing what my life was about. He was my best friend. He didn't like doing what the gang was all about, but he chose to put his heart and himself in it. He was good Kass he was. And so strong on his own terms. " Rowan leaned his head back. "If he hadn't.. I would have introduced you to him. He would've made you forget all the bad shit and appreciate the good. Joe was..."

"Billy can't stand it can he? That you knew Joe and he couldn't even grasp the real part of him?" I sniffed as a single tear rolled down.

"He can't and because I knew you. Shit is just so fucked up, but that's why I'm here. I have to make it right while I still can. I've gotta get you out of here."

"Whoa. Rowan." I yelped.

I can't leave how can he not know that Billy will hell raise until he finds us both.

"It's not that easy. Look what he did to you-" He cut me off.

"I can take care of myself. Simple bullet wound to the fucking knee is nothing. Look he's off doin rounds and I have my car we can still go. If I have to throw your ass over my shoulder and hobble the fuck out of here than I will." He snapped.

If we can go now than maybe.... No one will ever know. We've gotta try. I felt my protective form sink back in.

Morning smiles like the face of a newborn child innocent, unknowing Winter's end promises of a long lost friend speaks to me of comfort

"Ok." I cried. "But how? Where's your brother?"

"Don't worry he doesn't know nothin yet, but we gotta move fast before he does. I'll take you back to your place to get cleaned up. If you want-"

I cut him off. "No. I want to go back there. I need to."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Nick)

Shuffling home and putting on my clothes wasn't an easy task. The smell and pieces of everything lay around me as I gathered what I'd need. I'd get the rest done when I got what I needed. I flipped the card over without looking at the marked out front. "Hey Owen I need you to check a number for me. Yeah. 555-0128. I didn't need to hear his idiotic mumbling. Well check somewhere else just get it for me!" I knew what I needed next. The one thing that always tore someone apart and the one thing that I needed to tear them apart with. So the bank was my stop.

But I fear I have nothing to give I have so much to lose here in this lonely place Tangled up in your embrace there's there's nothing I'd like better than to fall

The woman there was friendly with a smile, not really noticing my face just beckoning the money at me with her hands. "Pullin out the kid's college funds?" I didn't smile back. Kass and sooner off Brendan would've needed half of that, but they'll get their money's worth..... The pain hadn't let up. I popped the pain pill and the water swished from my mouth as my phone rang. Just the fucker I needed to hear from. "Hello?"

"Hey Nick its Owen," His voice sounded off the other end. "Got that number on for ya. It's a bar. It's called the four roses. Nick what's going on? Do you need me to call anyone for ya?" Thanks Owen." I snapped. "Nick-"

I flipped the phone shut. All I needed now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Kassia)

Some time had passed and I didn't even know how the hell Rowan and I managed to see the light of day or evening. Much time had passed and Rowan was able to drive his small black car. As we pulled up to my house about twenty-two minutes later I closed my eyes and leaned back into my seat. "Kass?"

"I'm fine. Could you- could you come inside with me. I don't think I can..."

"Of course." He rubbed my cheek and ignored as I flinched away on impulse. I saw his teeth bare. We'd hobbled together through the rain once again and when we opened the door I shut my eyes. The scattered mess not even 24 hours ago lay still the same. I looked into the living room as the white tape outlined the bodies and a strip of yellow next to Luke. Where I assumed they marked me. Rowan shook his head. Without another word I made my way through my room, grabbed some clothes and into the hot shower I went. I let it steam and let the ice of it numb me. I cried a lot, held my stomach. Just being here took my air from my lungs. I didn't want to come out of the darkness that was Billy's because I'd have to face the world, alone. An adult now with nothing, nothing but Rowan.

Who was hurt downstairs already for me. I took some time sinking to the floor and letting my tears roll. I got out after scrubbing myself raw and the bruises that formed all over me and my newest healed over cut, still so fresh. I took my fist and slung it into the mirror before letting out a loud scream. I heard the sound of clobbering footsteps and Rowan flew inside the door. The bathroom door flew open from its creak. And Rowan grabbed my shoulders. I jerked back as he pulled me into him. "I know I fucking hated them, but Rowan I want them back so much. God I'd give anything..."

"Me too Kass. Me too." He stated rubbing my wet back. "Oh god." And this time my legs did give out and I fell to the floor with Rowan as his grit his teeth when his brace slid across the floor.

But I fear I have nothing to give Wind in time rapes the flower trembling on the vine and nothing yields to shelter From above they say temptation will destroy our love the never ending hunger

"I can't go back now Rowan." I breathed into his chest. I ran my hand across his face and he closed his eyes with it. "You're all I have left and I'm going to keep you safe. I'm coming back with you." His eyes widened at that moment and I toughed myself up and slung the internal voice underneath the tidal wave approaching. We'd left and it was hard to pull me away, but dark was approaching and Rowan had some general idea.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(Bodie)

Th blow was simple. Rowan was still alive and in a way I wanted to thank Billy for sparing him and the other half wanted to put a bullet up inside his fucking head.

But I fear I have nothing to give

"Rowan I fucking told you. This shit ain't no joke you understand?" I slung him carefully on the couch. I didn't think I'd been able to have picked myself up off my knees if Billy would've pointed that gun somewhere else. Hume's family wasn't the only one that was falling apart. But what could I do? He was my real brother and I didn't know how far things were gonna go. My insides were turning upside down. "Rowan." I sighed and as I turned around he was no longer on the couch. "Rowan?" I turned around again and ran my hand over my face in a sigh and I turned once more and his fist came into contact with my face. I fell to the floor as blood filled my mouth and blur came into my vision. "Rowan man. Don't I'm warning you-"

"I'm tired of these fucking warnings. You know I can't let her die and if Billy wants to do something well then he's just going to have to." Before I could lift up he threw a long metal bar across the back of me and all went black.

I lifted my head up and rubbed it as everything came back into view. Jumping up proved one step too many. I held onto my head. My phone rang and I stumbled over to it. "What the fuck are you doin calling me this late ass-hole?"

"I led him there. I did it. He asked me for the number Bodie."

"Wait, you fuckin' what? Tell me you didn't track that shit for him? Wait don't you fuck with me he can't be. Billy killed that fucker."

"Well he sounded alive and kicking to me. I led him straight to you. He didn't sound so good he even resisted back up. He's doin' pretty spiffy on his own."

"Isn't that what you-"

"No, no you motherfucker. That bastard didn't fuckin' die and you gave him the fucking way to the god damned bar? Did you call Billy?" My heart started thumping. Nick Hume wasn't dead. This shit wasn't good. Especially when we had his daughter bitch. "

"Look Bodie I thought you'd wanna know and if he didn't you can-"

"You bastard. If you just fucking set off a domino effect I am going to pop off your fucking head if Billy doesn't do it first. You stay put until I call you. You got that Owen?"

"Yeah, yeah Bodie I got it." His voice sounded panicked. "Now all I had to do was reach Billy before this fucker pulled another surprise out of his bag. It's time to end this. I dialed Billy's number as I held my head. Come on fuck. I dialed again and all I got was a busy tone. Until I heard a shot below. A gun shot. I threw the phone down, grabbed my gun and flew out the busted door down to Billy's place. I pushed the door open and ran straight to the back room. No one there. Oh god. No fuck no. I flew down the second flight and opened Heco's door. "Get the fuck up and." I stopped and turned my head as Heco was here. But his remains were plastered all over the wall. I cocked my gun. I need to make rounds to the office now!

(Billy)

"Fuckin' prick." I shouted as the ass hole rolled right away. He's lucky I gave his Charlie boy ass his sister's shit and not a headless motherfucker as a brother. The phone sounded off and I flipped it open. Hauling in a gust of the smoke. Fucker... "Heco you sanbaggin son of a bitch. This is second time this week that I had to cover for your ass "

"Billy, Billy." He yelped frantically. That mother fucker already out of drugs?

I got bigger fuckin' things to worry about.

"That fucker didn't die Billy. That fucker didn't die!" He was breathless. The smoke caught in my throat. Fucker. He didn't die? No fucking way! Heco's getting his fucking ass kicked! Last time I deal with his shit. "What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

"He says you're sentenced." Heco spat with panic.

Sentenced. Does the fucker know I got his daughter in my fucking bed at home?

"So what?"

His breathing got quicker. Fucking pansy ass. I heard a gruff voice speak. Fuck no.

"So this motherfucker!" And the shot rang off. I clipped my phone shut. Fuck! If he wants his fuckin' ass. I'm not near as done with him yet. A car rolled into the parkway. Just what I fucking need. "Well, what are we fuckin' up tonight son?" He grabbed the bag from my shoulders. Not you now you fat ass mother fucker!

"You look like your in a fuckin' hurry. " You couldn't smell any alcohol on his breath. The fucker didn't need it. But he'll need something if he doesn't get the fuck out of my way. The loud boom rang off in my ears. My veins popped and my head was pulsing. "You know how much I gotta wipe ya fuckin' nose. I gotta get some five hundred-fortune faggot off my back, by telling him he can have you. You think I enjoy that!" He screamed into my face the spit like acid. Keep fucking going just one more you bastard. "What you don't get is I care about what happens to you. because it can fucking hurt me!" I felt my fingers brush against the black of the pistol. And pulled it out, not needing a click.

"Now do you need any more fuckin' instructions-" The shot rang off perfectly into my ears. The blood was sprinkling out everywhere. He fell down with a fucking loud thud. It felt good. Now I was free and cleared of that fucker. One down one to go. Wiping the excess of my nose. Using his last resort. "No thanks Dad. I'm takin' the car."

But I fear I have nothing to give I have so much to lose I have nothing to give we have so much to lose

R&R if ya like. XX-Kris.