Chapter 10… World Inside My Head

Jeff's POV

I had so much rushing through my head. I couldn't stop thinking about Beth as much as I wanted to. What if she was carrying my baby? Here I was with another woman who was funny, smart, attractive, simply amazing; but I couldn't stop thinking about my ex.

"You ok there Jeff?" Leila asked me.

"Yeah. How was your day at the shop?" I asked trying to free my mind from the thoughts of Beth that were haunting me.

"It was fun. I really like it there. I had a tiny little tiff with Shane today, but other than that everything went well."

"What happened with you and Shane?" I was curious because I thought he liked her. Actually more than like I thought he was attracted to her. I mean she fits his 'type' perfectly.

"Just something stupid. No big deal."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. I assume we were both lost in our own thoughts. I continued running through my thoughts of Beth. All of the things that may affect my life in a huge way.

"Hey Jeff… you wanna talk about it?" she asked me. I did want to talk about it, but I wasn't sure if she was the one I wanted to talk to. If I liked this woman and then told her everything that was going on would she run? Would I never get a chance to see if we could work out?

"I'm sorry I just got a lot going on." I didn't want to brush her off coldly, but what choice did I have.

"You know you can talk to me right?" She spoke softly as she moved close to me and placed her hand on my knee. "I'm a good listener."

"I just… its complicated and…" I didn't even know how to get the words out. I didn't even tell my own brother what was going on.

"If you don't want to tell me you don't have to Jeff, but it's always nice to have someone to talk to right?" She was right and I did want to talk to her.

"You sure you wanna sit and listen to my crappy problems?"

"Absolutely darling." She said to me and I believed her.

"My girlfriend and I were together for 10 years..." I paused for a moment deciding how much I wanted to tell her. "We broke up about a month ago."

"Aww sweetie I'm so sorry." She said not pushing or asking any questions.

Hoping I wouldn't scare her or push her away I began describing the details behind our breakup.

"I'm usually on the road for about 6 out of the 7 days a week which leaves me little time to spend with my significant other. When Beth and I first met I was already working for the WWE. She told me she was understanding of my career and would be able to handle the immense amount of time I had to spend away from home. For the first few years things went perfectly, but the longer and longer our relationship went the harder it was for her to deal with. Finally about 5 years into our relationship she began to constantly call and check in on me. She began getting paranoid because of all time I spent away from home." Leila sat there giving me her undivided attention. Not once did she look away or seem uninterested.

"Why would she do that? I mean I've known you for only a few days, but you seem so honest and trustworthy."

"No idea. After a year of that crazy behavior I couldn't deal with it any longer and we got into a huge blow out one day about her needing to trust me. After that the calls decreased and her paranoia seemed to check into reality. I was so pleased by the peace at first I never realized the huge signs of her cheating." With that last word said the air in the room felt tense. Leila's demeanor changed from concerned to angry.

"Why do people cheat it's so…. Uhhh… annoying and stupid." She spoke with such anger in her voice.

"Well needless to say it took me years to discover it. I never questioned her even though my gut told me it had been going on for a long time. I didn't want to sound as paranoid as she had been. About a month ago I caught her and her lover in the act. And that was the end." I didn't want to mention the pregnancy. I felt that was more drama then what this woman needed to deal with from a practical stranger.

"Well you deserve better than her." Leila said flashing a smile trying to lighten the situation.

"I agree." I said smiling back at her hoping she would share a personal story with me to even the score. I wanted to know everything I could about this woman.

Leila's POV

Jeff had let me into one of the private details of his life, which made me feel horrible that I couldn't do the same. How could I ever make friends or have a real relationship if I had to hide everything from everyone.

Jeff sat there just staring intently at me. I think he wanted to read my mind. Her all the words he knew I was holding back. It's not that I wanted to hold them back, but I had to. I wish I could tell him that, tell him that I want to open up to his, but I honestly can't.

"You ok Leila?" He asked snapping me back from the thoughts in my head.

"Uh huh." I said still not quite out of my own little world. We sat in silence for a few minutes. It was an awkward silence not comforting like it was before.

Jeff moved closer to me on the couch and grabbed me in his big arms. He was gentle despite his great strength.

"Tell me what's on your mind. I can keep a secret." He said looking at me in his emerald green eyes that mirrored my own. His soft eyes made me feel safe for the first time in months. "I promise." He said with intense sincerity in his voice.

I was cracking. I couldn't keep holding all of this in. I wanted to tell him. I needed to tell someone. I wanted to trust him.

"Jeff… it's just… I… I… I can't." I tried to be strong, but I broke down in tears. I couldn't remember when the last time I cried was.

"Leila I'm sorry I…"

"No… no… Jeff you have nothing to be sorry for. I just I want to tell you and it kills me that I can't" I tried to explain to him why I was so upset, but even that I couldn't explain without too much detail.

"Why can't you tell me? I can try to help you if you let me." His sweet words broke my heart.

"No… Jeff just please… I need you to leave… please." I asked and he did so. No fighting or complaining. He just left.

Author's Note: Hope you enjoy. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! xoxo Melissa